Yeah, that’s me.

It would appear that I’m not really in touch with the realities of my life. I offer you the final proof.
erosshawl
This is an extremely elegant wrap knit of Eros. It is the exact opposite of what I usually knit. It is everything that this tree-hugging, ultra-liberal vegetarian knitter abhors, and yet I am inexplicably drawn to it. It is 100% unnatural fibres, it sparkles, it was a serious pain in the arse to knit and it was expensive. It is the anti-steph. Despite all of this, I have knit it and I love it.
I have knit it because I have a mental image of me in the wrap. I’m wearing it with a clingy little black dress, and a pair of tiny little strappy heels. I look inexplicably tall. My hair is doing a fabulous Sarah Jessica Parker thing and I am at a cocktail party, delicately holding a martini in one hand and a black beaded handbag in the other. I’m discussing politics without getting angry, and I make several good points and my lipstick is exactly the right colour, and all the other women want to be me and I know that it is all because of the wrap.
Yeah. The reality is that if I were to put this wrap on…I would be wearing it to the grocery store over my jeans with a pair of birkenstocks. I don’t own a little black dress, and the last party I went to had 7 nine year olds an a cake in the shape of barbie. I beat my hair back with 4 kinds of product to suppress its will to ever spring forth into “country singer hair” and I need at least 30 minutes notice to come up with any lipstick, never mind one the right colour. When other women see me they generally thank their lucky stars that they have escaped my fashion destiny and incredible ability to overlook the fact that my cardigan is mis-buttoned.
Still…as soon as I figure out how you deal with weaving in the ends on this yarn, I will have it draped over a hanger in my closet. This means something doesn’t it? It could mean that I’m a lunatic who is so out of touch with reality that I’ve got a sparkly wrap for no reason. I choose to believe that it means that I’m one step closer to being able to say “One moment, I’ll be right with you” when Pierce Brosnan comes to the door to take me to a James Bond-esque cocktail party.

15 thoughts on “Yeah, that’s me.

  1. Beauty is it’s own justificaton 🙂 You have a sparky wrap because it’s beautiful, because you saw the potential in the yarn and had to see the finished product. So long as no innocent polyesters were killed in the process, who cares?

  2. I made one of those too – with the same vision in mind. HAH!
    I ripped it out, and knitted it along with an eyelash yarn to make a fluffy scarf – slightly more practical in Ottawa’s climate. But I still have about 1.5 balls worth. REALLY, how many of these things can you knit – and I hear the polyesters scream.
    And Pearce lost his chance last time. When he was here to film Grey Owl, he didn’t call.

  3. “Cuontry singer hair”? Love it! I suppose you could say my hair does that horrible impersonation after going to bed with a wet head. shakes head and chuckles*

  4. Jeez, Steph, I’m taken aback by your alter-ego.
    But, hey, Pierce Brosnan, I could see that.
    How’s about wearing the snazzy shawl over your jammies while reading French Vogue?
    As long as your girls don’t mind, that is.

  5. Everyone, absolutely EVERYone, needs a sparkly thing like that in their wardrobe. Don’t care if you NEVER wear it, though I do believe it would look interesting with Birks, just knowing you have it, that you made it, that you’re the kind of woman who can very easily put her hand to the wrap necessary for opening night, is enough.

  6. Maybe you are one of those girls who can pull the sparkly look off. Either way it will be a fine addition to your wardrobe- i am with Rachel on that.
    I have a little silver knitted jacket (it uses a scale-like stitch, and was knitted by me, 3 Italian friends and their Mamma) which lives in a beautiful box, shrouded in tissue paper and wrapped in ribbon. This is not just because i like to unwrap it and admire it but also because it snags on everything.

  7. On the queer side, I’m with Rachael on this. Having at least one glitzy thing is a good idea.
    On my ability to pull off being chic, or stylish, I’m more on Stephanie’s side. It would just look silly. Have you ever seen Leigh Witchel in one of his furry, sparkly, stretch, neon-colored muscle shirts? Come now…give me Birks anyday.

  8. Ah, but we all dream of being fabulous, even if it’s just once, don’t we? That kind of shimmering, glittering, with tuxedoed escort, people stop talking for a moment when you enter the room, the paparazzi takes pictures of you (and not for the “worst dressed” page) and everything just clicks and works and is beautiful…
    Of course, that’d mean I’d also have to feign interest in vapid party talk, so maybe it’s a Good Thing that I’m so not that kind of woman…

  9. Weaving in the ends is one thing, keeping them woven is is quite another. The shawl I made for the shop in Berroco Mosaic is beautiful but the ends are forever popping out. If I really cared I’d probably sew them in place. But I’m not going tol

  10. While Leigh Witchel is a friend of mine, I’ve been spared the vision of him in a sparkly, furry, stretch neon muscle shirt (really Leigh?) I’m going to chalk this possibility up to a couple of factors.
    1. Leigh is a NYC ballet choreographer. I think that cuts him some slack, it’s a given that he’s offensive at times.
    2. Leigh has one of the oddest funny bones, really.
    3. Leigh, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
    Larry, I wove in the ends, then sewed them down with little tiny stitches. It seemed unreasonable the whole time. Not as unreasonable as it would be to fix a useless over the top eros wrap, but definitely unreasonable.

  11. You are the best! I love the sweater and the gorgeous wrap. Best of all I love reading your blog. I’m going to go clean my monitor now….

  12. What a great post!
    I had a similar vision when I made my eros shawl. It hangs in my closet now. It may never see the light of day. Ah well.

  13. I have *three* of them. One in cherry colored Jaeger Vienna, one in Goofy Grape colored Jaeger Wolga and one in Tiber Paille Multico which is black with blue and purple evil sparklies.
    I wear them because. . .I can. Needless to say, the situations are limited to the .01% of the time when your clothes are supposed to make a statement. I can bluff my way out of having to do drag at Wigstock with one of those babies, for instance. They go well with leather pants at events where you need to make a splash. They’re also surprisingly comfortable (especially the red one)
    I was going to say I never wore one in Toronto, but come to think of it, I did. The red one. At the “Singing Out” concert at the Jane Mallot Theatre, when my pal John was conducting. So it’s been closer to you than you think. . .

  14. Do you know where to buy Paille Tiber yarn from France in silver or gold? (Your blog came up when I googled to locate the source)Your Eros wrap is an amazing gossamer creation. You appear to be a multi-faceted woman. Even if your wrap is for your fantasy life, it had to be satisfying to work with such beautiful yarn & the fantasies, too!

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