Not Knitting

The claw is much, much better. I never really thought of crochet as a healing force, but it seems to have done the trick. Since knitting is my natural resting state, I keep finding myself trying to sneak a little in. (“C’mon, just a little…I’ll just cast on a sock, no?, ok dude…not four needles, just two man, just two.) I’ll post a picture of the Jessica Simpson thing later…it’s almost done. It has this enormous butt-ugly fringe that I’ve still got to put on, the one that Aubergine (of the comments) thinks looks like pasta.
Things I have done to avoid knitting.
1. Bugged Joe. Followed him around the house trying to get him to do stuff. Laundry, shopping, add a third floor to the house.
2. Bugged the children. Followed them around the house trying to get them to do stuff. Clean their rooms, put away laundry, I tried to get Sam to play scrabble with me, but she wouldn’t. I admit that I can be a little competitive, but it’s good for people to be challenged. If I’m a better speller than a 10 year old then maybe she needs to work harder.
3. Drank coffee. You don’t want to know how much.
4. Planned knitting. Joe spent a month on tour in China and brought me back this.
chinawool
30 balls of fingering weight wool. Or I believe it’s wool. It says 100% on the front of the label, but on the side, something is 10%. Is there anybody out there who this label means anything too?
chinalabel
It’s very pretty wool, I think the cream should be a baby layette from a vintage pattern I have upstairs, the green should be a shawl…I’m taking suggestions…. and the blue? The blue looks self-striping doesn’t it? That’s what I thought. That would be a lot of socks, but what else could you do with 10 balls of striping yarn?
3china
Finally, Bonita asks if crochet is really that bad. Bonita..it’s not that crochet is “bad”. It is that it has the potential to be used for great evil. If you don’t believe me, just think about barbies in big debutante skirts for hiding the toilet paper. (If anyone who happens to be reading this happens to have a barbie in a debutante crochet skirt hiding your very own toilet paper right now…I’m sure that you possess the only elegant one ever created.)

16 thoughts on “Not Knitting

  1. C’mon, Stephanie, you know that knitting can be used for evil, too. Didn’t any well-meaning old lady ever knit you a butt-ugly ski sweater with a bulky fair isle yoke and a too-tight neck when you were a kid? I just bought one secondhand that has a mint green yoke, goldenrod body and mint green ribbing with 3 green snowflakes on the yellow. Now THAT’S evil.
    And likewise, crochet can be used for good. You just have to resist doiliness and punk it up a little. I DARE you to crochet something with that Chinese yarn (but not something like that Simpson monstrosity).

  2. I’m glad crochet is being kind to the Claw. (Poor Claw — that sounds so painful and unhappy!)
    Jodi — what a hideous sweater!
    On evil crochet: I was once at a swap meet looking through a bunch of boxes of yarn and half-finished kits. The seller came up and we were chatting cheerfully about yarn and knitting and such when she said, wait, you have to see something. It’s really awful! (These were other people’s things, apparently.) She digs around in one of the boxes and reveals, in all its glory, a cartoony plastic _frog-headed_ bottle/toilet paper cover with a _hot pink skirt_. Thank heavens it wasn’t completely done, or my eyes would have fallen out. Ew!
    (I do have a crochet toilet paper cover that my grandmother made, but at least there is no Barbie attached.)

  3. *dies laughing* Yes, that is exactly the definition of “evil” crochet.
    Personally I’ve crocheted two scarves and am working on my second regular-size afghan; did a baby blanket once but I wasn’t too proud of it. The afghan as a crochet project has great potential to fall into the category of the Barbie toilet skirts, but by using interesting yarn and watching color choices, it can result in an attractive and warm addition to the home. 🙂
    I guess we just must remember what Spiderman says, “with great power comes great responsibility.” 😀

  4. Actually, I have a book of truly nice crochet patterns. There is a shawl in it that I made a few times. Some interesting stuff. I think the book came out in the early 70’s, because that is when I spent my time crocheting.
    There is also an old McCalls Knitting/crocheting special mag (the one I retaught myself to knit with) that holds pride of place in my collection. It has an afghan to die for – tapestry crochet long before it became fashionable. While I have crocheted more afghans than I care to think about, I still haven’t made this one, and I still might.

  5. I know that he’s not my husband so it’s not really my place to say, but that present is amazing! Good husband.

  6. Okay, I agree there are some very ugly crochet items out there. I remember wearing a poncho my grandmother (who instilled the love of the fabric arts in me) made me. Bright orange, and cream, with fringe. Must have been in the late 60’s, since I was still in grade school. As I look back on it now, since I have a photo, it was down right ugly!
    I mostly crochet afghans, scarfs, shawls, and hats.
    Since I’m a slow knitter, crochet is an instant gratification for me.
    Peace

  7. I used to have no respect for the hook, that is I found crochet truly tasteless. But recently, I’ve picked it up and actually really gotten into it. You’re right though, there are two classes of crochet: classy and trashy. I’m actually working on a class for the store where I work called “Crocheting with Class!”

  8. I used to think crochet was all evil until I saw some of the fine work that Kathy M. does.
    She has a rule about crochet. Since crochet is about double the thickness of knitting, jumper weight or DK weight should be the heaviest weight yarn used in crochet.
    It works well with her projects. I also used to make lots of crocheted doilies. It was kind of like needlepoint. I loved doing it, but found the result useless.

  9. If the Claw returns (I am dealing with a resurgence of my own version of the claw) there is a book of sweaters that made me remember how to crochet — Glorious Crocheted Sweaters — even uses a sort of linen stitch for some gorgeous jackets. I still have my eye on the green tweed one.

  10. Kate W. Thanks for the great laugh of the day. What a “wonderful” find that web-site is. Anyone who hasn’t checked it out really should. A word of caution, no drinking or eating allowed or your computer may suffer!!

  11. oh boy the china yarn market!! EIYEEE!!! HEAVEN!!! i filled up every suitcase, road case,guitar case etc… i have to admit the biggest incentive for me to tour china again with the band is to get back to that yarn paradise! the market was several manhattan city blocks of just yarn! mysterious yarns yes indeed, i couldnt figure out any content other than the mohairs, the rest were all SEEMINGLY wools or cottons, etc…but an endless sea of colors and fibers and haggle haggle barter barter clueless cluess chaos chaos, ah, the fabulous chinese yarn experience!!!!

  12. Stephanie, I can have that label translated for you if you put up (or e-mail me) a larger image of it. (I’m in Taipei — I’ll ask a coworker to decipher it.)
    Re: the green wool rats in the washer. So THAT’s why they’re called “clogs”!

  13. I am looking for the Jessica Simpson shawl pattern. But the one’s I see for sale are not the same pattern. Your’s that you made for your sister looks just like Jessica’s.
    Can you tell me where I can buy the same pattern that you used. Thank you, Kathy

  14. Ugh… was that link above (fuzzybumblebeewhatever) some sick joke? I mean, I’m almost afraid to learn how to do either after seeing that….. wow.

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