Dear Vickie Starbuck,
I’d like to apologize for all the things that I said about you last night. I was upset about frogging the Dublin Bay socks, and I may have misdirected my anger. I know that there is no way that you heard what I said about you, but trust me….I owe you an apology.
When I cast on your Entrelac socks (From the nifty Socks Socks Socks book) I may not have had the best attitude. I’m sorry that I called the start to your sock “dumbass”. It was really just that I thought that starting a sock with that little square and picking up stitches around it so that I get a round toe, was…well I guess I owe you for the “colossal waste of time” crack too. I deeply regret that I did not trust that you might have a reason for making a toe that way. Now that I’ve knit a little ways on the entrelac part I see where you were going with that particular technique. It turns out that you aren’t “out of your freaking mind” and I guess I deserve the trouble I’m going to get when I’ve got to work out how to position the heel. I guess you really did think it through. Sorry for doubting you.
After I so carelessly abandoned your toe structure for my own and got to the part where you knit the cute little triangles for the foundation of the entrelac, I’m afraid that I must confess that I was perhaps a little rash when I said that you were “a few jalapenos short of a zippy salsa.” It turns out that I misinterpreted an instruction that actually was very clear in my haste to condemn you. Mea culpa.
Mostly, I feel that I must apologize for the , er…”episode” that I had when I got to the instruction for the first rectangles. After an hour of trying to follow the directions to knit one stinking little inane rectangle I may have said some things that were unladylike.
(Joe reminds me that the comment about you and the “horse you rode in on” was particularly callused. Sorry about that) I eventually trashed your directions and did some other thing that worked out fine. I looked around for a correction to the instructions but didn’t find one. That likely means that it’s my fault again, and that the tension headache and throbbing vein in my forehead are only what I deserve and not actually the end result of any substance abuse problem that I may have implied you had.
Thank you, and again, my deepest apologies,