Some Saturday nights…

It’s been a long and perilous weekend in Harlotville. The children were away for the weekend and after I did something to deserve this…(what I did is a secret, of course)
I decided to cut loose. Sadly, since it has been quite some time since I tried to do this, I failed miserably. It turns out that my “party animal” reflex is dead in the water, since the best thing I could think of to do was….(I’m so ashamed) paint the stair baseboards. I came to my senses halfway down the stairs (which will probably remain half painted now until my next weekend off…) called up a couple of people and made a break for it.
My sister came to pick me up, and we grabbed some people and headed for a place she said was fabulous. (Note: my sister and I are very different people.) An hour later I find myself in a piano bar eating gnocchi and trying to shake the feeling that I might have been better off painting the stairs. The other people in the bar include:
-a sixty year old woman with hair that would have been considered small in the eighties, she is wearing a silver catsuit and a belt with a buckle bigger than my head.
-a man with no teeth. Not one.
-an entire table of 50 year old white men accompanied by 20 year old Thai women. I tried not to figure out if they were prostitutes or mail order brides.
– a man who took my picture, called me “little girl” and asked me if I was going home alone. I have been trying very hard not to imagine what he wanted my picture for. I assure you I know what the possibilities are…and I don’t want to think about it.
-an incredibly elegant gentleman and lady in their 80’s who walzed around the 6 x 6 dance floor like a dream. During “Lady in Red” he kissed her.
-a waitress who spilled nine drinks, not at the same time.
-I will go to my grave saying that Eugene Levy was the performer. He was going by another name (I’m sure it was to keep crowds down) but I swear it was him. I especially loved it when he played “Sweet Caroline”.
Today, in an attempt to disassociate myself from the leather padded piano bar, I’m going to do a little spinning. It is a well known fact that sitting at a spinning wheel is the cosmic opposite of being serenaded by Eugene Levy. I’m just seeking a little balance.
Now, I am not Sheila (who even looks like someone who could spin silk) who spins silk like this. I am a woman who barely escaped with her virtue from a piano bar, my results may vary. I’m going to card together the wool and silk and see if I have better luck than with pure silk, which makes me want to spin a noose. Silk is not my best thing, (fine…I suck at it) and I know that I’m pushing my luck trying something challenging so soon after the “Entre-lack” epsisode. If the silk proves embarrassing, I’m going to return to my spinning project in progress, which I will dazzle you with tomorrow in an attempt to erase your memory of not one, but two failed projects.
Finally, if you live in the Toronto area I would like to personally apologize for the weather this weekend. It was my fault, I got a little excited and optimistic about the sunshine and the warmness on Friday and I ….(I’m so sorry about this) I turned off my furnace.
I know that it was this action which caused the rain and plummeting temperatures, and I apologize. Rest assured that I will not attempt to turn my heat off again until June.

24 thoughts on “Some Saturday nights…

  1. I love Eugene Levy, especially in A Mighty Wind. Sounds like it was a memorable evening out!
    I avoid spinning silk because my hands are always so dry and I hate the way it catches on my skin. Or at least that’s my excuse.

  2. It could be worse…my nightmare ‘piano’ bar was with Dick Contina the accordian player. It was very difficult to not run from the bar screaming in agony. I had to be professional (a former life) and smile! To make matters worse…no gnocchi!

  3. I don’t feel so bad about the weather… called my parents in Halifax this weekend and they said it was snowing.
    And it could have been worse – they could have dragged you to an Opera Bar. Yes, such things exist and I can only imagine the cast of characters that frequents them.

  4. *eyes big at the thought of an opera bar*
    I can’t think of anything witty to add — your description of the denizens of the piano bar is so hilarious you’ve used up a good part of the world’s supply of humor molecules. (Good thing they’re a renewable resource!)
    Thanks for the laughs, and good luck with the silk!

  5. So, its bad enough that you put snowpants away in April, then you go and turn the furnace off!! You are playing with fire, lady. I guess I can now blame the forecast ‘wet flurries’ for tonight and tomorrow morning here in London, Ontario on your foolish flirting with the weather gods.
    On another note, my sister (in warm Vancouver) and I are wondering where oh where you get the time and energy to do so much knitting – and its all beautiful, even the unfinished projects. I mean, you have 3 children, a husband, (none of whom know how to use the laundry facilities, so its likely they also don’t even know where the vacuum ‘lives’), write the blog almost daily, have this doula thing going, and lord knows what else, yet you still knock off wonderful projects willy nilly all over the place. Please, tell your followers how the heck you do it.

  6. Well, if it makes you feel any better, it snowed here today. And yesterday. And I DON”T LIVE IN CANADA. Although I am very close. You had flowers before we did, too. Good luck with your spinning, I recenly learned how to use a drop spindle, and I am stressed out about have another habit to support. I haven’t tried anything but wool yet, but silk is calling my name…

  7. oh yeah, just in case you are wondering where the hell it is still snowing, that would be the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Brrr.

  8. That evening sounds almost surrealistic to me!
    However, if the food was decent, the music was decent and the company at your own table was decent, I guess you could just call the rest “atmosphere”.

  9. I do NOT want to hear about snow in the midwest– all that stuff always comes HERE.
    For spinning silk, there are some good tips and resources (see I suffered severe silk-spinning anxiety before reading her very reassuring instructions. Starting on a spindle is good, if you do that kind of thing. I did have a lot of trouble initially with the silk roving “catching” on my hands. However, I learned that you can eliminate the “rough hand” effect by the VERY bizarre process of pouring a couple of tablespoons of sugar in your hand and then a generous dollop of vegetable oil — basically you “wash” your hands in the resulting goo so that the oil moisturizes your hands while the sugar “sands” off the rough spots that might catch the silk fibers. I know it SOUNDS strange, but it actually does work.

  10. What is that nasty silk doing? Feel free to write to me here or offblog with the specifics. Silk can be devious, but it is a wonderful feeling when it flows. Well worth the initial learning curve.
    Did you see Kate W’s blog post about LL pooling?
    I’m knitting LL Daffodil in an eyelet rib today, a bit busy, but a splendid fast spiral and nice cush. Contemplating trying domino knitting with a pool-inclined LL color…

  11. Spindle? Yike. Okay, if that works for you, fine. If not, try spinning a short length of silk off your forefinger. (This leaves your central finger free in case rude gestures become necessary.)

  12. The Thai women were probably mail order brides, it’s a big thing over there now. What an, um, interesting choice to end up at…although I think Eugene Levy rocks.
    Good luck with the silk spinning…one of my best friends said if she ever spun any silk ever again in this life time, it would be a noose to hang herself…thereby never really putting herself in serious jeopardy as she’ll never spin silk again… have you been talking to her all the way down here in the midwest?

  13. I too am guilty of turning off my heat earlier in the week…. first the deer eat my tulips before they were even 5cm high, (sigh), then we had snow in Halifax on Saturday, (double sigh), I spent 6 hours out walking on a picket line during the storm. (triple shiver). I would love to know who did what in NFLD; this weekend as they got hit with 40cm of snow!!!!

  14. The account of your Saturday evening out made me laugh aloud! Thanks for sharing the details.

  15. While I’m willing to admit that Eugene Levy can be a tad bit creepy (witness “Mr. Boogedy”, a kiddie film from the early nineties that my Boy loved), he is also one of my favorite performers.
    Sure, yeah, he was wicked funny in “A Mighty Wind”.
    But how about Mr.Levy as Stan Schmenge on SCTV?
    One of the best things ever on TV.
    Cabbage rolls and coffee from Mrs. Velva Jaschke! The Happy Wanderers hit tune, “Jeez, I Gotta Sneeze”!
    Does any Canadian here know why those amazing shows are unavailable on TV or in the DVD store?
    Is it a royalties kinda thing?

  16. I was wondering if maybe you could help me with some info. I want to make the Mexican Wave Shaw in the blue colorway. But they are all gone from KnitNet. I was wondering if you knew the colors that were used so I could order them. I would be willing to trade said info for some colored needles that we have here in the states like the ones your friend bought you. Thanks.

  17. Apparently the same weather gods that are present here in Maine are “smiling” down on you…I’d been wearing sandals for a week when Saturday, this evil white stuff began to fall from the sky! I had to COVER MY TOES!!! *cries*

  18. I feel as if you and your sister took a wrong turn and ended up in Greenwhich Village, NYC. What a fantastic story.
    However, I must chastize you for turning off your heat — we’ve felt the fallout as far south as mid-state New York.
    Harlot, have a heart and turn your heat back on!

  19. Man, all these weather posts make me glad I am no longer experiencing Midwestern “springs.” Schitzophrenic, they are!

  20. Please tell us where you went on Sunday. I have a friend visiting from very white-bread London Ontario and I’m ttrying to think about how to entertain her in the big city. A Fellini-esque piano bar just might do it. Was the food good?

  21. (With the furnace at 74F in banana-belt Kalamazoo) Checked your credits — so =you’re= the 10 Reasons to Get a Spinning Wheel! (I’m 226 pages behind you in KnitLit Too.) Loved you on sight. When I was easing the way for getting my compact little Haldane, I pointed out that even if I never used it it was pretty, and my long-suffering husband said “I’m not afraid you’re =not= going to use it…”
    Off to garden for pay in 34 degree weather — as soon as I move the bags of fiber to get to the door…(No reply necessary, but do keep mentioning where you can be read ‘sides here.)

  22. To Alison – ‘white-bread London’. Hahaha, you are so right. I’m a tranplanted Torontonian, and after 15 years here in London, On, it is only inching ever so slightly away from that ‘white-bread’ thing.
    Personally, I only ever eat whole grains.

  23. So you’re the one responsible for that crappy Sunday weather. You turned your furnace OFF??? In April?? Are you mad ???Spring is a temperamental as ..well entralac (sorry, maybe I should’nt have brought that up)

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