Tank talk

All right, now that I’m not being outshone by my own offspring, let’s talk tank tops. Nathania, the current Queen of the Tank Top wants details about my tank. Ask, and ye shall receive. (Also, I have absolutely nothing else to talk about. Wait, that’s not completely true. I washed the kitchen floor. Trust me, that’s noteworthy)
Some time ago (like in the last couple of years) I saw a tank pattern that I really liked, because I am me, and the universe is like it is, this tank pattern is now gone. Completely gone. I have looked online everywhere I ever think I’ve been, searched google, stayed up half the night looking in my books and searching magazines. It is not here. I have been through all of these and swatched half of them. If I added up all the swatches I bet I would have already knit four tanks.
I’ve actually started to believe that in my search for the perfect tank top I may have hallucinated it…all because I don’t want to believe that the perfect tank can’t be out there.
I’m a little tank picky. The perfect tank has the following characteristics.
– It has no fancy flouncy dumbass girly stuff. (What falls into this category varies with my mood)
-I don’t know where my bra is right now. This is common. A tank must be opaque enough to cope with this. (This rules lace over the bust right out)
-If I find my bra, I don’t want anyone to see it. Not even the straps. I know that there are those who feel that it is ok, or even desirable to display ones bra straps, but I am unmoved. (I suspect that if I had a collection of sexy co-ordinating bras I might feel differently, but I spent my bra money on wool. Screw it)
-My breasts, unfettered or not, are simply not comfortable with public office. Therefore, no plunging necklines.
In the end I gave up and made one up. Or …I’m making it up as I go.
The tank and pattern (if you could call it that, ignore the placket thingie on the neck, I abandoned it) are resting on the new Ram Wools catalogue. It does not have the perfect tank in it either, just so you know.
This tank is a tunic sort of thing, with a split at the sides, a shaped waist (I don’t have one, but I like knitting them into my clothes, it makes me feel better) and a square neck, edged by the same seed stitch that I started with. I think it’s going to make the cut.
In other news, today I will continue my insane search for a plain white t-shirt for Sam to wear to a choir thing tonight. I am surprised that out of the 5 people living in this home not one of us has a stinking plain white t-shirt, (Joe says we have dark souls) and further shocked that I apparently can’t get one within a 5km radius of my home. I’m going to have to actually go downtown to get a plain white t-shirt. I’ve had some glimmers of hope , where I spot one on a rack and get all excited only to discover that I’m looking at the back and the front has “My face is up here” written on it.
The vicious irony of the whole epic search for this *&^%$@ t-shirt is that I have it on reasonably good authority that the choir director picked it because everybody has one.