The turn of the tank.

Well the tank turned on me. It had to happen, there’s no way that I could curse this much at it and not have it begin to think up a plan to exact it’s revenge. Yarn can be bitter like that. I fear that I have offended the tank by using colourful language to describe the tendency of the ribbon yarn to twist up into a tangled mess kinkier than the Marquis De Sade’s birthday party.
I’ve tried several strategies. Taking the yarn from the inside, from the outside, tensioning my yarn differently, putting the yarn on my lazy kate….nothing works. It’s got to be something in the action my knitting that’s doing it. I’ve resorted to waiting until I can’t stand it anymore, then dangling the knitting so the twist can spin out. Joe and the children find this entertaining. I do not. To enliven it a little, I’ve been saying foul things to the yarn, and it’s becoming pretty clear that the tank is taking this personally. How you ask? How? Well, it’s like this. I love the tank. It looks pretty cool, it seems like it will fit really well, I put the decreases in exactly the right spots and aside from the twisting ribbon thing I like how the yarn looks and feels made up.
The revenge part? I’ve used more than half of the yarn, and I am not yet halfway done. Yup. The perfect retaliation. I love the tank, yet it will never be mine. Classic.
I’m going to go on a hunt for more over the weekend, but I’m not hopeful. The only thing to do at this point is let go and move on. I’m picking up the edging stitches for the Eeyore blanket, I’m not even counting, let’s just say that there are a fair number. I’m overwhelmed with the excitement.
I’m thinking about devising a mother’s day blog surprise. Speaking of mother’s day, as a public service I’ve decided to share a few tips that I’ve worked out over the years, just a few little things I wish they taught in the public school system.
#1. If your mother has to scrub the kitchen for 3 hours after you make her “present”, that’s not a very good present.
#2. Don’t ask your mom for the money to buy her a gift. Not even (and I stress this, because I understand that for the adolescent this can be a difficult concept) Not even, if it is only going to be a “loan”.
#3. Not everyone enjoys breakfast in bed. Even if they do enjoy breakfast in bed, most mothers would like it if most children didn’t think that getting up to pee “ruins the whole thing”. I promise that if you let us go to the bathroom we will go right back to bed and continue to feign sleep even if we smell smoke or if we overhear your sister say “I’m so telling mom that fell in her food”.