New and Improved

The joy that surrounds me today is palpable. I’m surprised that people walking down the street don’t stop dead in their tracks, stunned by the obvious halo of happiness around my head…then again, it’s a little humid, maybe they just are confused by my enormo-hair. (My hair responds famously to moisture. What are usually unruly long curls become country singer hair the minute the planet damps a little. I have been experimenting with various de-frizzing products for for the last 2 decades with no luck and have finally accepted that my hair is a creature of it’s own destiny…clearly on a path separate from my own).
There are several reasons to be absolutely happy enough to dance in public today. ( I have just corrected the typo…until mere moments ago that read “dance in pubic”. Wonder how many people saw that….clearly I need “stupid check” not “spell check”)
1. There is a new section in the sidebar called “free patterns” Yup. Free. The Snowdrop Shawl pattern is yours for the having, though it comes with fair warning. It has not, I repeat NOT been test knit. If you find trouble I’ll help bail you out, (my email address is on the pdf). You should probably know that there is absolutely no guarantee that I won’t laugh about your knitterly suffering, even if it is completely my fault. (Sorry…I’ll try to keep it to a minimum) I feel like a heroine for making the pattern. I’ve been engaged in a vicious battle of wills with Excel for weeks to make the charts. I was actually reduced to tears by it, and your local harlot is not a tearful woman. It was only the words of the Curmudgeon that kept me going. She wrote that she draws in the little Excel squares to chart knitting all the time. I admit that I enjoy a good conspiracy theory as much as the next girl, but even I found it hard to believe that she would say that for the laughs she would get knowing that I was sitting here trying. (I feel compelled to admit that it was only because there was no way she would know what I was trying to do that I was able to let go of the idea that it was some kind of a plot) Today, victory is mine.
2. The sun is shining. These are my shoes today.
This is truly reason to believe that winter is over. I know…nothing is for sure. I can hear all the other Ontarians saying “I can’t believe she said that” and trudging back to the basement for their boots. Forgive me, but today I believe. (Err….while you’re in the basement you might want to get your shovel, I’m taking my shorts out of storage today)
3. Even though Sheila is a much better spinner than I am, I tried to spin laceweight as fine as hers. While normally, this would have been an opportunity for the planet to mock me and remind me of my place in the world, inexplicably I was allowed to spin without incident. The resulting mohair/ merino singles do not suck. Again, victory is mine.
4. Ken loaned me his laptop for the duration of the Really Big Job that I got, (All hail the RBJ, well, and hail Ken too) and then he made it all “wireless”. This means that me, my shoes and the nice weather can be as one without having to abandon the job and incur self-esteem damaging guilt for sitting in the sun when I should be working. (I would too. I would absolutely leave the work and go outside. I would feel terrible about it, but I would go.)
I can’t think of a darned thing that could take the glow of this day. (I know. I’m just begging for the planet to give me an illustrative experience. “Here Steph, take this. This is what could take the glow off your day”, but the sun is still shining, my shoes are still good, and somewhere in the world the person responsible for this sort of thing put my name on the list of people who have beaten Excel.
Finally, for the person who found this site by searching google for “How to be a Harlot”, how surprised are you?