Before I show you anything

Before I show you anything today, I feel like I should direct a personal note of explanation to Ryan.
Ryan, I want you to know that I’m very much enjoying your Dublin Bay sock pattern. I really love it. It is perfection in and of itself. I have no idea then, why I was compelled to bastardize, modify, personalize the design a little. I have a disease. I am incapable of knitting a pattern all the way through without changing something. Even if, and I stress this, even if there is absolutely nothing lacking in the pattern. I have modified the likes of Alice Starmore (who’s sweaters tend to be a little wide…no offence intended) and The Dale of Norway Team (who had me confused with some knitter who does duplicate stitch). I am an equal opportunity despoiler and I am sorry. I would tell you that I’ll try to stop, but I’d be lying. Let’s not have that between us.
Now, on to todays picture of the corrupted sock.
As you can (probably not) see, I have decided that the pattern should continue down either side of the foot from the leg pattern. Since I’ve accepted that I was out of my mind when I planned these for my brother and have consequently adapted my recipient plan, I see no reason to minimize what I can now freely refer to as “lace” rather than the more masculine “openwork”. I like the continuity of keeping the pattern going down the foot, not that (and again I stress this) not that the pattern was not indefectible, masterful and sublime before I ruined it.
Speaking of my remarkable ability to ruin a piece of knitting. Beth asked yesterday for a picture of the Michelin Man sweater. I have decided to go along with this, but only because Claudia did. (Here, April 7th)
Without further ado I give you the Michelin sweater. Is this not the most attractive sweater in the world?
You will note that while my actual bust is 36″, I have inexplicably chosen a 52″ bust for this sweater (oversize was in…what can I tell you). Similarly, the hips far exceed my own. The colour is..well, it was on sale. The sweater is so heavy that I am shorter when I wear it. I have no excuse. What was I thinking? In my defence I can only tell you that my children were very little and I was badly sleep deprived. The real mystery would be why it is still in my closet when it possess no redeeming qualities. (Well, it’s warm actually. If there is ever a blizzard and the heat goes out I could gather my entire family under it’s bulletproof, huge, green wardship.)
Finally, I have not been cowardly and cut off my head in the photo, but I do want you to know that this picture was taken early, and by a child, and I had not done any er…”improvements”. (Like, say…brushing my hair, drinking coffee or putting on a smidge of lipstick). I am, in reality far more attractive than I appear here, and way taller and thinner than I look. Also, in my real life I am not wearing that sweater. That should help.