Dear Readers,
Since your happiness is my only concern, and I begin and end each moment of my day with thoughts of how the blog may please you and as, frankly,
I live to serve… I am once again allowing the blog to set my destiny.
This willingness to put my life in your hands is not one I take lightly, and it is only because I know that those who read this blog are people of exceptional taste and wisdom that I can lay my needles at your feet and humbly await my instructions. Despite the fact that I have been somewhat indecisive in my checkered past, it is important for you all to understand that I am really not doing this because I cannot decide myself, or because I agonized over it for a long time already and am really sick of the freaking decision and I feel weighed down by the pressure of potential projects, or that last night I had out, maybe ..20 magazines and books out and everything I start seems wrong…
No, no…It is simply that I care more for your gratification and contentment than my own.
Here, my friends, are your choices. Don’t hold back.
A. Who do we love? Why Claudia of course, especially since she sent the mango microspun to release her me from blue. How about I make her happy and knit myself this tank top?
Pro: Well, it’s darned nice, and who doesn’t need another tank top? It would use the orange yarn that I am just about desperate to get on needles and break up the proliferation of the blue on the blog, and it seems pretty fun and easy. In addition, Claudia is on vacation right now and not reading the blogs. I could complain bitterly about the yarn if it proves annoying and not worry about injuring her tender feelings.
Con: Clearly I would need to find some way to change the front. I’m thinking no ribbon and closing up that revealing bit. I believe, though this theory is untested, that I would rather let a troupe of roving 4 year old girls cut my hair than leave that tank that open, so a minor modification would be in order. Also in the “con” section…how many tanks can you knit for yourself before the word “selfish” starts to be bandied about?
B. Joe’s a good guy. Considering the depth of my love I don’t knit enough for him. Socks aside, his last big score was this sweater, and that was a while ago. I like this corridale fleece almost as much as I like Joe, and I was thinking that I could wash it, card it, spin it and knit it into a gansey.
Pro: Who is more deserving of that amount of work than Joe, the long suffering husband of harlot? It goes without saying that Joe respects knitting and he would cherish a sweater with that much work in it. Plus, of all the yarn, wool, fleece and jetsam I have brought into this house over the years this fleece is the first time that Joe has ever expressed a desire to have any of it for his own. When I think about my big wooly husband standing in Gros Morne with the wind whipping in his hair, fortified by my love and my wool… c’mon, that’s heady stuff.
Con: Note the use of the word “big”. Joe is a big guy. We’re talking about a 50″ chest. Just thinking about that amount of spinning and knitting makes the world start to go a little black around the edges. Just to be perfectly clear, choosing this option means months (maybe years) of delirious ranting from me about how this washing/carding/spinning/knitting will never end. I would expect that this amount of work may lead to hysteria and possibly some sort of altered state.
This sweater would be Commitment. This sweater would take staying power. Then again, that’s what it takes to stay living with him…
C. Last year Ken gave me some organic 80% kid mohair, 20% merino roving. Touching it induces a rosy attitude that lasts for hours. I was messing around with it yesterday (Tuesdays are for spinning) and I made 150 m. of the prettiest laceweight (about 40 wpi). I was thinking that I might start another shawl, and spin as I need it. Maybe a butterfly shawl….
Pro: Well…shawls are darned nice, and not too heavy for your lap in the summer. When I was done there would be another pattern on this site…and designing the last one, while frustrating, appears to have done me no permanent damage.
Con: Is anyone bored with shawls? The whole Charlotte thing is all over the blogs and I don’t want to beat a dead horse. While I like knitting shawls, knitting them with fine yarn that you are spinning as you need it does threaten sanity. Also, I don’t believe that I would be capable of giving this shawl away, so it does nothing to release me from the impending crush of Christmas or birthdays. (What does it mean that I still think that anything would help release me?)
D: Maybe I should just finish stuff? There’s Ken’s “Claw Inducing” shetland socks, and the Dublin bay ones, (though really I’m still working on those, they are my bus knitting) The shawl I started yesterday, the boring cardie and …well about 40 other things.
Pro: Well, I would be finishing stuff. I would get the thrill of the finished object and the delight of reclaimed closet space. I would get to say that I “did something” about the stash.
Con: Boring. Poke your eyes out with a dpn kind of boring. Leave the blog and never come back kind of boring, and I feel bad for all of you having to watch me knit boring things and still try to be polite about it. It’s nice of you and all but really, don’t we all want to move on?
E. Something else….none of this is any good.
Vote early, vote often. I’ll tally the votes tomorrow, maybe get Ken to help me make another neato pie chart and accept my destiny. Don’t just be lurking around either. My fate is in your hands, and a large sample size seems wise.
Also…even though I realize that my suffering can be entertaining, try not to base your decisions on what you think has the potential to cause me the most pain.