Leavin’ on a jet plane

Your local Harlot leaves today for the land of milk and honey. I will spend two days in Massachusetts on business, then…be still my heart. I will be at Rhinebeck. I’m so excited I can scarcely breathe. It’s not just the festival either, this is the first time I’ve been away by myself…ever. I’ve never been on a plane alone, I’ve never stayed in a hotel alone…the possibilities boggle the mind. Half of the time I’m thrilled to death and the rest of the time I’m terrified. (Sorry, the math on that is wrong. There’s a couple of hours a day in there for beating myself up for being terrified because what kind of a grown woman is nervous about going away by herself?)
Questions that need answers.
10. Between them, Joe and the girls have 74 years of life experience. Will this be enough to see them through 4 days without me? When I arrive home Sunday night, will their quiet enthusiasm for all that I do for them and their grateful hearts welcome me warmly back into my home, or will they set upon me like a pack of wolves deprived of a fresh kill the minute that I walk through the door?
9. Assuming they survive, what is the estimated condition of my house upon my arrival Sunday night?
8. What are the chances, should I call home from Massachusetts or New York that they will not ask me if I am having a good time, or if the first time I am away from home by myself in 18 years is fun, but instead use up all of my long distance minutes saying things like:
-Where are my green tights?
-Tell Amanda that she has to lend me her hairclips.
-What was the phone number for the guy with the thing?
7. What is the rate of exchange? (I am obsessed with this. It’s like a disease. I keep trying to calculate the best moment to go to the bank.)
6. Would packing a swift and ballwinder be considered “overkill”?
5. What do I have in my house that I could sell on the sidewalk out front before 2:00 this afternoon to get more money for buying things?
4. What kind of knitting needles will I be allowed to take on the plane? I’ve flown all over Canada with any needles I wanted, but the rules are different flying into New York. The airline claims that this matter is at the discretion of the security agent I meet at the airport. This means that it will be a surprise. I have three kinds of needles, I am prepared for any answer accept “none”.
(I swear that while I would never, ever say this to a security person…If they want to take away my bamboo 2mm sock needles, deep down inside I will be strangling the urge to take all the other passengers pencils away. Wait… maybe I could knit with pencils?)
3. How will my friend “Mr. Washie” cope without me? We’ve never been apart this long. Perhaps I could ask someone to visit him…
2. What do all the people I know from the blogosphere really look like? Who will I meet? What will they say? Will I remember their names? (Wait..I know the answer to that one. No. I won’t. For the love of Wool don’t take it personally.) What will they be wearing? (Wait until you see what Laurie is wearing (yes, That Laurie). Stunning.
1. Finally…will I be wearing Rhinebeck? No way to know. It’s down to the wire on this one.
I’ll blog if I can, otherwise I’ll see you Monday with a full report. Wish me luck.