Hope springs eternal.

I’m out of my mind. I know that this is not news to any of you…but I live in a special and delightful world of denial. I wake up every day, having learned nothing at all from the previous 24 hours and proceed to make all the same mistakes again. Here are some things that I can’t seem to get through my head.
-Every single morning when I wake up, I do so believing that this is the day that I am going to catch up on the laundry. I believe this fully and with satisfaction. The fact that I have never…every been caught up on the laundry, not once in my whole adult life does not deter me from thinking that this is the day that it all comes together. Every night when I have once again failed completely, I am shocked. (Note to self: Give up. Please. Before you hurt yourself.)
– I persist in thinking that a birthday party with seven 13 year old girls is going to be “just fine”, and “not much work”. (Megan’s birthday is in August, but we always have her party later when school is back in) I even thought that I would sit and knit while they did their thing. Astonishing. Instead the shrieking, giggling, gaggle of pubescent girls ate, danced, and screamed their way through my sanity and a whole whack of food.
-I am a dork. I left the party full of whacked out teenyboppers Megan’s friends to go to the Knit Wit launch party at Lettuce Knit. (Sorry Joe). When I told one of Megan’s buddies that I was going to a party for a book about knitting, she laughed out loud. I am a dork. I don’t know why I forget this. Any attempts to convince your average 13 year old urban girl that knitting is cool will be met with open mocking, pointing and laughing. It is also possible that they sneered. I can’t prove it.
Hey Amy? When I came back with the book, one of the girls looked it over and said “I guess some of this knitting is ok”. I know this sounds like dull praise. It is not. Remember the mocking. These girls are merciless and quick. They tolerate Megan’s knitting because she is so cool that the occasional uncool action can be forgiven. I however, am a mother in my 30s. Everything about me is uncool. You should see my pants, it’s a wonder I’m allowed to leave the house. The very fact that a 13 year old girl could look at superdork-mother-me, standing there, holding a knitting book… and somehow find a way to agree with me on any level, about anything, for any period of time? Well. The knitting in this book must be cool enough to transcend the 13 year old girl-geek filter. Congratulations and yes, the silken is not scritchy. You are right.)
-I think I knit much faster than I do. I have finished one sleeve and a front.
I am currently casting on the back for the fourth time, due to a string of moronic counting mistakes. Yes. Counting. The fates are not with me.

48 thoughts on “Hope springs eternal.

  1. Considering how smart you are, you really have rather an amazing ability to… er… um… be a moron. Catch up with laundry? Jeez… get a grip, woman! 😉

  2. OMG! The Rhinebeck pulli is GORGEOUS! I firmly believe you’ll make it in time. I need to make arrangements to go to Rhinebeck to see it. Didja miss me? I go on vacation for three weeks and look what fun you had wihtout me!!

  3. Oh, Steph! What beautiful knitting! The color alone would make it beautiful, but the mathematical perfection of the cables raises it to sublime.
    Forget the 13-year olds – they know NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING! Remember, it’s only a few short years until THEY are dork-mothers in their 30s too!

  4. Ah yes!! I, too, always think that this is the day I will catch up on something.
    My oldest son just shook his head when he found that I was knitting a Hallowig….then he really rolled his eyes when he heard that I read knitting blogs! WHAT could you possibly say in a knitting blog, he asked?? He then said (in monotonous drone) I k n i t f o r t h r e e
    h o u r s to d a y. I finished a sweater, then started a scarf………. meanwhile, my cousin’s best friend is making anatomically correct knitted dolls, haha! If he only knew!

  5. What the hell are you thinking, “catch up on the laundry”? I sure would like to visit that Magical Place your mind seems to wonder in. However, the sweater is still gorgeous. And that Knit Wit book? My 15 year old cousin is now begging me to teach her to knit after looking at it. And remember, hope may spring eternal, but laundry still piles up faster.

  6. This was my morning: do some work, check to see if Yarn Harlot has updated. Drat. Do some more work. Check again. Repeat at every decreasing intervals until Victory! A New Post!
    Is there a 12-step program for this?
    The sweater is absolutely stunning. Those cables? Breathtaking. Your knitting pace? Freakin’ fast. That grudging approval was won from a teenager? I think that ranks up there with winning a Nobel, doesn’t it?

  7. The Rhinebeck sweater is incredible!! Who cares about the laundry, just parade your knitting about to all who complain and they will validate the fact that having all your laundry done is not comparable with being The Queen, which you are. So there.
    PS, not that I have ever had my laundry caught up so I could compare….sigh.

  8. “You should see my pants, it’s a wonder I’m allowed to leave the house.” That’s just too funny – good thing I wasn’t drinking my tea while reading!!! As the 40 somthing mother of 10, 14 and 17 year old children I can totally relate. There are the clothes I am ‘permitted’ to wear in public and those that my children deem only slightly acceptable to wear in the house only.
    As for the sweater – STUNNING!!!! When will the pattern be available for sale? Love the color!

  9. We’re supposed to catch up on laundry!? I thought it was a never ending task…like dishes.
    LOVE the color of your sweater! I have faith in you.

  10. You need to have a drink of wine, screech, beer, whatever will wash the cobwebs out of your brain and make you realize the futility of attempting to catch up on laundry. We were a household of 6 (two of which are teenagers) until a few months ago and I honestly thought (talked myself into believing, that is!) that when the first one left home, naturally, the laundry pile would shrink as well. Yeah, ok. Right. Silly assumption on my part. Once, I thought it was all done–the hampers were empty–and then I went upstairs … and tripped over the pile of dirty laundry in the boys’ room. There is a point to this story. You want laundry caught up? Hire a maid! Love the cables. How’s the thrum mitten? 🙂

  11. Laundry is not meant to be caught up on. Ever. It’s just one of the universal axioms. I do have faith in the Rhinebeck cardi, though. Claudia had better gear up to shell out big time.

  12. Stephanie. Dear, dear Stephanie.
    It is impossible to ever catch up on laundry. Seriously. I gave up trying years ago. (dishes, floors, bathrooms, these can all be caught up on. In theory. In practice I gave up on them years ago as well.)
    In order to truly “catch up” on laundry, in order to say “yes, the laundry is all done, why do you ask?” one must strip the windows of all treatments, strip the beds of all linens, scour the bathroom for towels and washclothes, empty the laundry baskets and strip the entire family down bare naked (I recommend against this unless one lives on the Equator, which -despite my poor geography skills – I don’t believe Canada does). Otherwise, something is only getting dirtier, and one will never catch up.
    Give up now. You’ve got a sweater to finish, and golly, if you’ve only got the front and a sleeve done at this point, I would think you’d realize the laundry needs to wait.
    At least until, oh, 2pm tomorrow when the rest of that sweater is done.

  13. I will trade you my first-born for the pattern for that sweater. Barring that, I will pay any amount of money, Canadian or US.
    Say the word. I’ll have the child pack, in case that’s the way you decide to go with this.

  14. Catching up on laundry should be *low* on your list of priorities, if there at all! I only have three people in my house including myself (and one of us is only 4!) and I *still* can’t catch up on laundry!
    By the way, you *are* the Queen. OMG, lookit that sweater! I wanna be like *you* when I grow up…

  15. Just had to share this with people who would understand the “greatness” of it – on Friday morning, my youngest (a 3 year old boy) asks if we could go to the yarn store . . . now how could I refuse the little dear? Wouldn’t want to crush his desire to go look at all the pretty colours . . . when we get there, he decides that he would like a hat, now! All weekend he followed me around, “why aren’t you knitting?” “is my hat done yet?” “here, mommy, knit now!”. So, he had a hat by noon on Sunday!

  16. If you find a solution to waking up thinking that housework items on the day’s agenda are going to be acomplished, let me know.
    I suffer the same thing.
    However, you *will* be pleased to know that your blog entry inspired me to do the vacuuming (sp?). It has been on the “urgent to do” list for the past couple of weeks. (No kids in this household, but there is a very furry, and constantly shedding, dog.)
    I hauled the vacuum cleaner out and then dragged DH in to read your blog. He just laughed and said that your writing may have inspired me to vacuum, but I was back at the computer and and the vacuum cleaner hadn’t been turned on yet.
    A quickly done v. cleaning is done now. But I fear you may have lost yourself a blog reader.

  17. Agreeing with Amie…unless everyone is naked, you never catch up on laundry.
    When my sister (who is 18) told one of her new friends that her sister knits and has a knitting blog, the friend asked if her sister (me) was 80.
    I was less than thrilled.

  18. Hey, there, this is the Pesto Queen writing. Why aren’t these young residents of the castle doing their own laundry?? Most 8-year olds could do it. Just make sure you tell them why soap is important. And about mildew.
    Himself and I take turns with dishes and laundry by the month.
    No, dishes never end. I do the last ones as we step out the door for a two week vacation and when I get home there is a small pile right there on the counter. How do they do that? My parents eloped in the 40’s and when my mom got home to her aunt’s house, Auntie Gertrude said, ‘Oh, all those dishes; why did you have to start so soon?” And Auntie had only one child. My mom had seven!

  19. Stephanie,
    That IS a true compliment.
    And i did see your pants. They were just fine. I was, however, blinded by THE PONCHO, so it’s possible the reflected glare reduced their dorkdom.
    You wanna talk dork? Look at the picture of me on the *other* Toronto Steph’s blog. now THAT’s a dork. With a tiara.

  20. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, dusting, shopping, cooking — I’m so stupid as to ignore it some days, as if to say, “I’ll show you!” Yeah, well, you know who gets shown what…
    I hope the fourth cast-on was the charm — it’s going to be a beautiful sweater.

  21. Just a SWATCH of that sweater is enough to bring me to tears. I can’t deal. I’m going to go do laundry or something banal like that. I might as well give up knitting. Maybe I can catch up on my laundry.

  22. Wow. That sweater is going to be gorgeous. What is the pattern and where can I see a picture of the whole thing?

  23. Hi Stephanie,
    It was lovely to meet you at Lettuce Knits on Saturday. Your sweater is beautiful!
    BTW, I finished my dd’s harlot poncho. http://chezchelle.blogspot.com/ I think you will approve, it’s cute as the dickens and was made out of 4.5 balls of $1 Bernat Miami! (adorable and frugal, how often does a mom hit that homerun!!)
    Thanks for a fun pattern!

  24. Erma Bombeck said there were still baby clothes at the bottom of her ironing basket when the kid graduated college.
    Let us all pause for a moment and give thanks for perma-press — and unending jobs no longer on our list.

  25. The fates aren’t with you??? Geeze, lady – sometimes I wonder if the laws of physics are with you!! The fact that you can even think about (and accomplish) laundry, kids and knitting in the same day leaves me in awe. Maybe you don’t live up to your own expectations, but don’t forget, most of us secretly believe you found Wonder Woman’s power bracelets.
    Give me up honey, I want a turn! 🙂
    p.s. cardigan is shaping up to look really cute!

  26. Ooh, beautiful sweater! Covet, covet…
    (You do realize, though, that once it is finished, it enters the realm of laundry? That’s why laundry’s never ever done.)

  27. Your sweater is beautiful. I have recently found an intricate cabled pattern for a jacket type thing that is seducing me.
    As far as laundry goes, and don’t sneer, Monday’s are for laundry. Tuesdays are bathrooms. Wednesdays I clean the fish tank. Thursdays are for dusting and the vacuum. Fridays are rotating, as in wash bedclothes, mop floors, whatever is pressing. I usually take Fridays off. The cool thing about this is that if you happen to be busy on Tuesday and don’t get to the bathroom, you don’t have to worry about it ’til NEXT Tuesday. It doesn’t have to nag you every day. You have a whole week before it is bathroom day again. Works for me anyway.
    Getting laundry done all in one day is a challenge, but afterwards, I don’t have to do it for a whole week. Also, like someone else said earlier, my mom made me start doing my own when I was in Junior High School, probably 8th grade. I fought her on it for awhile, but then I got into it and wouldn’t let anyone else TOUCH my clothes. Just a thought.
    Also, my mittens are done! Thanks for the knitalong.

  28. you are too funny about the laundry and i can’t wait to see the book that is cool to you and your daughters friend.

  29. My son has been doing his laundry since about the eigth grade when he only had two pairs of pants which he was willing to wear to school— I had given them larger allowances and made them responsible for purchasing their own clothing. My reluctance to wash his clothes every other day led to him doing his own laundry. Now he thinks that I’m incapable of doing it “right”. HeeHee.
    It means my washer and dryer are often run at odd times of the day (or night) and sometimes whites are all mixed in with colors–but I really don’t care!!!
    You have too much knitting to do to sweat the small stuff.

  30. Stephanie,
    I love the sweater! And I’m impressed that you still had time for your daughter’s birthday party.

  31. I had a witty comment all laid out in my head, but by the time I scrolled to the bottom of the page it had left already. Sigh… Now I have to go home and finish the laundry I started yesterday and wash what has made its way into the hamper (or is scattered on any number of counters or floors in the house) since I washed 6 loads over the weekend. It’s laundry that God sent to punish us for that whole Eden thing, I swear.

  32. Am I glad I stopped by here today! I skipped work today to catch up on the laundry. Actually I was considering that folding the ten or so clean loads, then cramming the laundry on the l.r. floor into hampers to be close enough. Well, on my way to laundry hell, uh, the laundry room I saw my neglected calendar and thought, I should really put some things in there…..can you say A.D.D.? That led to scrounging all over for every newsletter and schedule I could find (have I found all of them? you guess!) which actually had me going through those piles of mail and papers in the kitchen, which led to browsing some catalogs, A.D….what? I actually only looked at one, two at the most. Then I remembered I had some stuff to mail, a knitting job to drop off, overdue audio-books due at the rental place, oh-and shouldn’t I be trying to figure out the halloween costume thing? Jo-Ann’s here I come. WAIT! I have kept you from your beautiful knitting and counting long enough. We can share the joys of mothering three girls another day. GO KNIT NOW! And teach someone to do their own laundry. Or are you one of those laundry control freaks (takes one to know one!) I’m gonna go fold. Right after I organize the closet in the laundry room….

  33. I like doing laundry but usually lose interest by the 4 or 5th load.
    The cables and the color of your Rhinebeck sweater are beautiful.

  34. Stephanie, I just BUILT a bureau for my husband to put said laundry in and the first thing he did was place a crumpled up jumper ON TOP of the damned thing. Not in a drawer, ON TOP. Moral of the story: even if you ever catch up with the laundry, it’s still going to look like you didn’t…
    These cables are gorgeous, and I covet them. I second the desire to have a pattern…
    Speaking as a mother of a six year old (who now loves my pants but I fully expect that in six short years she will hate them and I will become the dork of the century), I do sympathize with doing lots wrong. But I have a suggestion to make: show your teenager the book “Stitch ‘N Bitch.” She will beg you to teach her to knit. I’m not sure what Toronto teens are like, but Montrealers are all over these styles…
    Lee Ann

  35. Well, some of us could still be trying to wear hotpants (you are toooooo young for hot pants, but trust me, nobody who’s had a kid should be wearing them… and lots of people of all ages wore them in the early 70’s. WITH boots. We ALL looked like sluts.
    When your 13 yo starts embarrasing YOU, you can do all you can to ignore it, and then have the standing to tell her you expect her to do the same.
    The pullover is beautiful… and you ARE fast.
    I am making moronic mistakes on a 2 stitch 2 row repeat.(Darn YO’s).
    I want to think this is the day EVERYTHING will be done (but not my life.). Probably my last day on earth will be the day it’s all done. Um… there’s laundry, dishes, organizing, correspondence, filing, shredding, etc.
    Glad you wrote.

  36. Oh, oops, looks like your teen already knows how to knit…but one pair of wristwarmers will get you right out of the dork thing, fast…and you could cable the bejeezus out of them and they’d be even cooler…
    Man, I thought legwarmers went out with Flashdance…
    bisoux again,
    Lee Ann de Montr�al

  37. Oohh, pretty cables! Now HURRY! Screw the laundry, tell em to buy more knickers if they run out! I’m with the previous commenter, those kids can do their own laundry, I mean they’re not embryos anymore. HURRY!

  38. I have the secret for finishing the laundry. It only lasts for about a month, but it works. For at least one glorious day, the laundry is ALL DONE. And then it is slower to overwhelm later.
    No really, it’s a good secret. It works great.
    And, it would give you more time for knitting. Actually, Knitting or reading a book is an integral part of the plan.
    former laundry queen to a family of 6.

  39. I have to agree with the other posters that it is time for the children to be conscripted for laundry duty! I can even share with you one of my father’s favorite lines for whenever my sister and I complained about house-, yard-, boat-, car-, any- chores: “Yeah, I know it’s no fun. Why do you think we had kids? So we don’t have to do it!”
    Actually, regarding laundry, until we were out of the house my mother had a strict rule: Laundry day is Thursday. Anything placed in the laundry room before laundering commenced on Thursdays would be washed. If something didn’t make it, you’d have to suffer until the next Thursday (or wash it yourself).
    However, my mother didn’t knit, so perhaps she had to take her OCD out on the laundry instead of attempts to knit an entire sweater in an obscenely short time.
    In any case, you are still my idol. I can hardly get myself together, I can’t imagine juggling a household of 5 and still finding time to knit amazingly beautiful objects!

  40. The Rhinebeck sweater blinds me, it’s the sweater of my dreams… forget dorkdom, it exists only in the imaginations of those who live there. We however, have transcended, and live in a separate but contiguous reality.

  41. Harlot, Laundry and various other household chores are the reason I knit. It is truly one of the only things I can “finish” and the only way it gets undone is by me (rip it rip it). I have shared my philosophy with others and they find it amusing, but it works for me and helps me to justify extra time with my needles.

  42. Don’t you know now that we can never really catch up on anything, even if we think we do! LOL
    Your cables are outstanding. And that purple…Oh My!!! 🙂

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