48 hours



Dragon mittens (or what we hope will be interpreted as dragon mittens by a five year old buddy of Lene’s) The knitted eyes are cracking me up.



Latvian mittens

Sigh. These are so pretty that the only think keeping me from stuffing them into my own coat pockets and giving the intended recipient something impersonal and sucky from the drugstore is the fact that they are too big for me.

An extra shot for the Latvian mitten junkies:





One pair down, one pair to go. In case you haven’t played this game before, my foot is included for scale. The magic trick of felting just never gets old. (Rest assured that these will be felted inside a tied up pillowcase to protect Mr. Washie’s innards. I only have to replace a $300 pump once to learn my lesson.)

Sam is shovelling up that white Christmas I ordered.


(You know what? I can’t be the only one who worries when it all starts coming together, right? I start thinking that maybe I do run the world….)

Joe is at the store buying underpants for the girls. (I ignored his pleas for release from this task. I care nothing for his discomfort in the underpants department. He is a parent. He will buy teenager underpants and he will survive. I have no pity, for I am a knittter at Christmas and my only hope is delegation.

Answers to questions.

– Four (How many hours of sleep I got last night)

-Two and Six. (The number of glasses of wine I drank last night and how much coffee so far today. It’s entirely possible that all the tofu I eat the rest of the year is only in preparation for this week.)

-One (How many crappy movies I watched last night. It was “Anacondas”. It was truly crappy.)

-Three. (The number of times I noticed that Joe was not working on Christmas.)

-Two. (The number of times that I managed to let that go because he was asleep)

-One. (The number of times that I woke him up to discuss my failure to let it go)

-Five. (The number of times that I’ve thought “There is no possible way to finish all this. In the name of all things holy would somebody please lock me in a closet with a bottle of scotch and a fruitcake until Christmas morning so that I can stop trying.” )

-Four (The number of times the previous thought has been immediately followed by “Oh, c’mon. Keep trying. You can do it. You’ve been in rough spots before, look to the schedule and fear not the coming of the morning. Rise above. Wrap something, eat a cookie and knit.”

-One. (The number of times that I needed a little scotch to believe that).

81 thoughts on “48 hours

  1. We are so not worthy of you, Ms. Harlot. Not only are you an ‘extreme knitter’, you manage to keep your sense of humour intact (assuming that’s humour and not the first signs of a complete psychological meltdown). Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from a humble Vancouver knitter whose only claim to knitting fame is knowing the Fleece Artist herself and having swooped up all of her samples of hand-dyed merino/possum yarn that she decided she wouldn’t carry.
    PS — Can you tell me where I can purchase a dragon mitten pattern? I love them.

  2. Those dragon mittens are awesome…how did you make them? Could you please, please tell us? I have a nephew that would love a pair like that.
    Have a wonderful Christmas Steph…you have worked so hard, I hope you get to relax just a bit!

  3. I believe in Stephanie.
    And at this point in my jaded life, I think that’s a lot more realistic and happy than Santa Claus ever tried to be.
    Happy Christmas, Harlot!

  4. Those dragon mittens KICK ASS. KICK ASS. You must help me make some for my nephew. Can I call you this afternoon? (ducking)
    I love it that your kids are getting underpants for Christmas. You realize this only happens in Canada, New England, and England, right? Well, OK, maybe Scotland, too. Marks & Spencer, am I right, Britishers? Lovin’ it so much I could cry.

  5. WOW…I knew you could (can) do it.
    -Zero (number of times I’ve had to slap someone-
    so far…;-)

  6. So how come you get stuff you can shovel and we get RAIN. On top of stuff you can shovel with a prediction of more COLd which means ICE! The weather is truly horrible up here in Ottawa. -20 was better.
    The mittens (both pair) are beautiful.

  7. Norma – Denmark, too (except for the Marks & Sparks thing).
    Love the dragon mitts, especially the slightly drunken, suspicious look of the right mitten. If the recipient doesn’t like them, I will happily smush my hands into them and wear ’em proudly.
    (me? An adult? oh, no. Never that!)

  8. 5 — number of times I have had to suddenly drop and/or hide the angora socks I am making for my DH so he would not see them
    1 — number of times I burnt the boiling potatoes because I had to run out for an Xmas thing
    10 — number of plastic containers I looked through for yarn with which to knit a Sophie bag as a way to fool DH into thinking that I am knitting something definitely NOT for him
    1 — number of times my daughter yelled at me for going downstairs to use MY sewing machine because she is apparently constructing something for me. I can sew after Xmas, she tells me. (Since she was a junior in high school, my daughter has been in charge of playing Santa for MY stocking — much fun!).
    2 — number of friends we are feeding tonight
    3 — number of Jen and Andrew friends we fed Tuesday night
    6 — number of people coming over for dinner Boxing Day
    0 — number of essays left to grade — yippee!!

  9. Bless your Harloty heart in showing us some Latvian Braid to sate the need a bit… Ok, not really. I’ve got the needles, now I’m just waiting for the fiber supplies to show up. Damn those gorgeous mitts! Damn this lust!

  10. Wow. You seem to be succeeding more readily than I am! This is my first gasp up from the depths of “Gotta get this DONE!!” to post a little note.
    Those dragon eyes crack me up too! They’re great. I am sure they’ll be appropriately received. Love the clogs too. No time to die of ennui this year I guess, eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰
    At this point I KNOW you’ll get it all done in time! Knit on! Knit on!!
    Oh, and ditto to Jo. The weather here in Ottawa *is* truly horrible.
    Ciao! Back to the wool.

  11. Y’know, if you decided to celebrate Kwanza instead of Christmas this year, you would get an extra day of knitting. Worth a thought.
    Hey, what happened to the Screech?? I thought you’d be hitting the Screech fast’n’heavy about now. I have no excuses – I don’t work today or tomorrow, and all I have left to knit is a beer cozy (to complete a pair, knit in retaliation for my brother using the last pair of beer cozies I made him as part of a white elephant gift exchange – no matter that the person who got said cozies adores them and actually uses them, and blew my brother’s cover because he had to thank me…) and the remainder of a wine bottle bag (from the current issue of knitty.com).
    Excellent dragon, by the way. The ridge armor is quite fun.

  12. WONDERFUL! The dragon mitts are fab, the latvians are supreme. I’m glad you’re getting your gifts made. I have reduced my list to one, and it STILL isn’t getting knit.

  13. Way To Go Steph!!!!!
    You are truly the yarn harlot!!
    Number of knitted gifts finished….1
    number that will be given to recipient on the needles and then taken back to finish 3
    I am so not any sort of Yarn person…
    Oh, and Underpants are also a MN thing….at leas they are in my family:)

  14. You ARE the essence of Girl-Power, Multi-tasker and Supermom!… who needs to have a corporate job to get this much accomplished… and the nice thing is… due to your inspiration I actually finished my miesly four knitted X-gifts for Richards family– socks for his dad, scarves for his niece and sister, and a hat for his sister… This niece will also get 5 purple pompoms…
    Hugs and have a wonderful time enjoying the season… happy clacking of needles…

  15. WOW! I am humbled by your sheer knitting brilliance and speed. The dragon mittens are adorable and hilarious and will most certainly be interpreted as dragons. And the close-up of that Latvian Braid and ruffle? Pure Knitting Porn. You rock.

  16. Very awesome dragons!! The Latvian mittens make my heart stop. I wish you could/would keep them for yourself. After all your selfless knitting you deserve something as wonderful.
    Enjoy you Christmas and may you finally have time to relax and enjoy!!

  17. Well, I am truly ashamed of myself. I’m trying to finish a scarf. A measly little (okay long) 4×4 rib scarf.
    I was seriously thinking of giving up.
    And then I came here.
    I feel so bad, I’m still thinking of giving up, but know this. My awe is profound.

  18. Stephanie I am in awe. Enjoy your beverage of choice tonight while Mr. Washie does the felting for you.
    I will be trying my best to emmulate The Harlot. 1 poncho to finish knitting and sew beaded trim on, 3 feet of garter stich on size 2’s (kill me now), 1 pair of mittens. All this and a 4 hour drive thrown in for good measure.
    I really need to teach my dog to drive so I can get extra knitting time. Either that or convince Amtrak that dogs are trains are a good thing.
    Happy Festivus,

  19. The dragon mittens are too cool for words. Heck, forget the nephews; I want a pair! The latvian mittens are oh so beautiful. The colors are lovely on my monitor. Yeah, I think you might make it after all.

  20. You are amazing!
    I can’t believe you finished all that!
    I would love to know how you made the dragon mittens, they are absolutely adorable.
    After Christmas, that is, I’m not expecting that NOW!
    Merry Christmas!
    (As I live in Sweden, our festivities start tomorrow!)

  21. I believe in you! You can do it!
    Those dragon mittens are awesome!!! and the latvians…well I dont blame you for wanting to keep them. they are a work of art!

    I knew you could do it, but not THIS fast! The dragon mitts are PERFECT. (They look like Muppets with those eyes!) The Latvian ones are gorgeous and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for successful clog felting.
    I love the Scotch-and-fruitcake-in-the-closet idea – will definitely have to try that out next year. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Hope Joe doesn’t get arrested for buying girls’ underwear… hi might if you were in the States. ๐Ÿ™‚
    WAY TO GO!

  23. Merry Christmas Harlot family. Thank you for an excellent year of blog. You continue to take my breath away with awe and laughter.
    May you be blessed with good health, enough wealth and a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  24. I LOVE THE DRAGON MITTENS! Are they a harlot creation? If so, could you (after the Holidays, of course) Share some info on making the eyes?
    Drink scotch and be merry!

  25. I hope you are getting a spa package for Christmas to recover from all that craziness! At least a hand massage ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Latvian Mittens are beautiful and the dragon mittens make me want to save a princess or something!!

  26. I love the dragon mittens. Maybe for my son when he’s old enough (he’s only 1 and the mittens will fall off).
    Have a happy holiday.

  27. Those mittens are GORGEOUS.
    And here I couldn’t finish one measly Rogue sweater in time for Christmas (ok, I AM giving several pairs of socks, but I started *really early* on those).

  28. Stephanie, you totally rock. You’re my inspiration…except for the wet basement!! Those Latvian mittens are beyond the pale and whoever is the lucky recipient of the dragon mittens…well he’ll be the envy of EVERYONE. Happy Christmas!!!

  29. Harlot, darling, you’re an inspiration.
    Of course…you do realize that this means that NEXT year, convinced of your ability to control the time/space continuum with the powers of your mind and dpns…you’ll probably end up taking on even more?
    Congrats, awe, and much drooling.

  30. No, seriously, who else is working on all that knitting?! There’s no way one person gets all that done. You really do have elves, don’t you?
    Those dragon mittens are priceless. And the cuff of the Latvian mittens is beautiful. I can see why you’re tempted to keep them.
    Hang in there. It’s all downhill from here. Or whatever they yell at the loonies as they race past the 25 mile marker. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  31. I love the dragon mittens! I think that the thing that the dragon looks as though s/he might have had some of those six cups of coffee, so you feel free to have a few more. Have a wonderful Christmas!

  32. everything you’ve made is excellent. those latvian mittens are truly beautiful. even if they didn’t fit, i’d keep them. and my husband is getting underpants for christmas…well and other stuff too.

  33. I am constantly in awe of all that you manage to accomplish. We’re cheering you on all the way to Christmas!
    Please, please, please, when Christmas is over and you can breathe again, post the pattern for the dragon mittens. I have two little nephews who would adore them. Heck, I think I might have to make a pair for myself!

  34. Any five-year old on the planet should be thrilled to get those dragon mits. Heck, I’d be pleased to get them and I’m a little older than five :-). Great job, and Merry Christmas!

  35. I also love the dragon mittens. Yay Stephanie! My real question though, is what kind of Scotch? And did you know that The Gate has about a dozen decent Scotches? From Dalwhinnie to Laphroaig with a little Glen Livet thrown in for kicks.

  36. To quote my Dad, “BEEEEEEEEE-UUUUUUUUU-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-IOUS!!!” Thanks for all your inspiration and sharing so much through your blog..you’re bolstering my own confidence….I WILL learn socks in 2005..and am now putting Latvian mittens on my list, too…my uncle escaped Latvia when he was a little boy–wouldn’t they make a great surprise for his tree next year? Ok, maybe a smaller sized set?
    Off to finish my own list…on #63 with 3 scarves, 3 hats, 2 wine cozies to go before tomorrow evening, and 8 scarves, 3 hats, 4 baby blankets due after the 25th…and a video to teach my niece to knit since she’s 3,000 miles away…OH! and Dad’s Christmas afghan-Christmas has been moved to March…right? (Mom’s afghan was shelved months ago-I’m thinking Mother’s Day?)

  37. The transformation from “plain” mitten to DRAGON mitten is beyond incredible. Add to that not one, but two, gorgeous Latvian mittens, and you are giving the old guy with the sleigh who can make it around the world and down every chimney in one night a true run for his money (after all, he has staff). Santa may have to step it up a little…

  38. What progress! I gave in and bought my MIL yarn and needles rather than making her a scarf. Whilst at the yarn store, I also picked up Folk Mittens for myself. Fa La La La La!

  39. I am continually in awe of your knitting prowess. And I just finished the last 3 pairs of felted slippers today myself. Still have the snaps to do (Fiber Trend’s mary jane style with a strap across the top) and a scarf for the MIL. Oh and all the ends and blocking to do on 7 other scarves.
    But I’m a lot more relaxed when I see what can be accomplished on Screech and eggnog! ๐Ÿ™‚

  40. i read your blog daily but never comment…until…the dragon mittens!!! Those officially rock. I literally squealed with delight when I saw them…and I’m not 5, I’m 25!!! *grin*
    Have a wonderful holiday!

  41. So, it was you who ordered the snow! I was wondering.
    I think if you offered me my choice I would take the dragon mittens over the Latvian ones.

  42. You sure it was only ONE scotch? Really? Send some of that snow down here so Sam doesn’t have to deal with it all. It was positively balmy here today. Yes BALMY. As in Spring, not winter weather. Wishing you many lovely moments this Christmas!!

  43. I can’t decide which mittens I like best. Love the bigfoot clogs and the pic of Sam of the rosie cheeks is really cute. After that list, I can’t wait to read the book! Merry Christmas.

  44. Harlot– you rock!!! Merry, merry CHristmas and Happy New Year!! Your blog is such a delight for all of us wool-obsessed folks out here. Some of my goals for 2005 have been inspired by YOU! 1) knit socks, 2) knit mittens … maybe Latvian ; ) and 3) knitfaster!!! I have total faith that you will finish all of your xmas projects! Rock on!!

  45. YOU ROCK! Keep the faith, love your blog, you have kept me inspired. Latvian mittens for me as soon as holidays are over.

  46. I finished my last lacy scarf today. It’s blocking. I’m working on my last pair of socks, but I’m not too fast on socks. I’m sure I can finish one sock and part of another before Christmas. Maybe if I stay up late Christmas eve, I can finish them both. I’ve abandoned the thought of knitting another cap.
    Kudos for getting so much done so quickly!
    Merry Christmas!

  47. I bow my head in shame and adulation…all I got done was 3/4 of a thrummed sock for my father. They have turned into a New Years gift. You truly must have some sort of science fiction time thingy to do all that knitting. Must say that I was curious to see how you were going to turn two light mittens into dragons…I shall never wonder again!! Bravo, they look fantastic.
    Merry Christmas!!

  48. This morning I gave my buddy the only thing(s) I knitted this X-mass: red and white diamond-patterned mittens, and unnerpannies to her daughter, my god-daughter, age two-and-a-half. Am I a New Englander or WHAT?

  49. Stephanie, you rock! In the face of knitting Christmas madness, you still manage to give the world the CUTEST dragon mittens (I want a pair in lime green) AND also have a man who will buy young girls’ underwear (and hopefully not get arrested in the process). Enjoy the scotch. You deserve it!

  50. You are my hero. I will live the rest of my pitiful existance knowing that, no matter how valiant an effort I make, I will always fall short of Harlot in all things. But you do always give me something to strive for in knitting and sense of madness, uh, I mean humor! I will be thinking of you when I am up a 2 am baking. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  51. The dragon mittens are great. Tell us more about the pattern for them. Also, the Latvian mittens are beautiful. Merry Christmas!

  52. wow, everything looks great. i would like to do those clogs for me but i’ve never done any felting. could use some tips please , when you have time. Happy holidays to you.

  53. Oh, WOW!!! You are amazing! The dragon mittens are just too cute — I wish I had a pair. And those Latvian mittens … *sigh*
    Thanks for all the giggles (and loud laugh-squawks) you’ve given me since I started reading your blog. Have a great Christmas!

  54. I, too, adore the dragon mittens, as does my 10 year old son, who doesn’t feel like he is too old for something like that. I hope you share the pattern – the base pattern is very nice, and those EYES.
    (the funny thing is I called him to the computer and said look at these mittens, and he said cool, and I said aren’t they funny, and he paused, and wondered, um, what was funny about them? then he said they looked a little egyptian and I that’s when I realized he was looking at the Latvian mittens, and didn’t see the humor in them. He did think the dragon mittens were funny once I pointed them out and he realized they were mittens. I reassured him that he was correct, there was nothing funny about the Latvian mittens – he wasn’t missing the point or anything. LOL!)

  55. Those dragon mittens are wonderful! I too would love a pattern for them. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’m embarrassed now to admit that I’m not sure I’m going to finish this scarf on time. You’re knitting amazing mittens and I can’t finish a rectangle! Wah!

  56. Stephanie, you take my breath away! You really DO alter the space-time continuum! The Latvian mittens are awsome, and the dragons are the best the best the best. I add my vote for a pattern for that crest and those fantastic eyes!
    But first, a calm and peaceful Christmas to you all.
    God Jul, og godt nytt ๏ฟฝr. (“Good Yule and good new year”)
    p.s. I assume this poem is dedicated to you:

  57. Yarn Harlot, I have been lurking for a few weeks but even Santa emerges on Christmas Eve — which it is here in this part of the world.
    The knitting is absolutely awesome! I’ve read your mad, humourous knitting frenzy with great delight but you’ve slipped up and let out your secret! You showed us your white Christmas. Knitting needles don’t rub and squeak in cold weather — they slip the stitches off beautifully!
    Oh well. Back to the prawns and mangoes and the cotton knitting.
    Merry Christmas!

  58. I am inspired by your ability to get all your knitting done. I have no doubt you’ll finish the last pair of clogs in time. Getting a child ready to get on a plane today and a bad attack of bursitis in my shoulder forced me to concede. I did manage to find a suitable substitute for one scarf and will not see the recipient of the other scarf I’m working on until after Christmas Day so I bought myself a little more time. Once this is done I can start on a couple of pairs of felted mittens for DBF and myself so we don’t freeze our fingers off ice fishing this year.
    Have a very Merry Christmas!

  59. Hi, Stephanie–
    I, too, must add my vote for a dragon mittens pattern. I remember your awesome pink mittens earlier, as I’ve been reviewing your year while I knit at the computer. And knit and knit.
    And I would happily pay for the pattern, too–can’t figure out how you did the eyes.
    Thanks for your blog so much this Christmas.

  60. Have a wonderful Harlotty Christmas – you deserve it! Never have I seen the space-time continuum warped with such authority!!!
    I am wishing – strongly – that this particular Brit HAD bought new undies for Christmas as my washing machine has died today and my DIRE old knickers are in my drop-dead-gorgeous-with-a-great-bum next door neighbour’s. The shame.

  61. The Dragon Mitts ROCK! When you drop down out of hyperdrive, may it be into an asteroid field of chocolate, shortbread, peppermints, and Johnnie Walker (Blue!) Happiest Christmas Ever, Yarn Harlot!

  62. And a partridge in a pear tree! ๐Ÿ™‚
    You have SNOW! lucky duck! ( ooooh, caught the typo in which I actually wrote “LICKY duck”. Could have been worse! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I was actually sitting here thinking that the latvian mittens were for me.
    Probably not, right?
    Merry, Merry Chrismas. I nod and hug.
    sing with me, will ya?
    On the second day of Christmas……

  63. Way to go Stephanie, those dragon mittens are aces!
    Thank you for your wonderful funny blog which is like a little present itself every couple of days
    Valerie (whose Xmas knitting is tempered this year, the only recipients being on the west coast and so not needing mondo socks until after the new year, but who is making up for it making jewelry for her 83 year old mum! Freeform off loom beadwork, more addictive than heroin)

  64. Thanks to you, I’m ordering a copy of Latvian Mittens.
    Thanks to you, I am practicing Evil Little Braids on a hat for the Hubster (I say practicing, because after the hat, there will, of course, be Mittens With Evil Little Braids).
    Thanks to you, I have laughed–really LAUGHED–at least once on more days than not.
    Thanks to you, I have dared to knit things I never would have tried on my own.
    May the holidays and the new year give back to you threefold all that you have given all of us.
    (The dragon mittens. I am speechless. I am speechless because I am giggling with delight. Those eyes…!! Add me to the list of folks who would like the pattern–AFTER THE HOLIDAYS and after you sleep for a week. Make that two weeks.)
    PS I know Her Harlotiness is magical, but I also wonder if perhaps Stephanie is not hiding a whack of farty little elves in her closet, all knitting away like mad things. When you’re done with the WOFLE, Steph, send ’em to Colorado, I’ll keep ’em busy for a bit and then pass them along to the next desperate knitter…
    merry merry

  65. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh I am hypnotized, these eyballs…………amazing.
    Happy Holidays and enjoy the snow and the tree and your family.

  66. Your choice of colors for the mittens is FABULOUS. Pity you couldn’t keep them. I have the Latvian Mitten book and I’m currently working on a cardigan inspired by one of the charts.
    So are you starting on next year’s gifts tomorrow? If you hurry, you might have time to shear the sheep, spin the wool, dye it, and THEN knit everything for all the relatives, your friends, and of course, don’t forget the pets.

  67. you are a knitting machine!!! those dragon mittens are too adorable, and the latvian mittens too beautiful. what great extremes. hope your christmas was merry!

Comments are closed.