I Stephanie, do solemnly swear that I will, commencing today (just as soon as I have a second third cup of coffee) make the following changes in my life.

1. I will persist, (following the advice of my generous readers), in knitting a third MSF mitten, even though third mitten syndrome is an execrable opponent.

Moreover, I will knit this third mitten with the full knowledge that I may not possess enough of the discontinued “Old Kroy” to do so. Should the time come that I do in fact, run out of yarn, I will gleefully and without bitterness cannibalize one of it’s predecessors for the required yarn, and still try to feel good about knitting three mittens….though I only have two.

2. I will stop slacking on said mitten, and instead of allowing myself to be tempted away from this noble cause by the trollop mohair shawl… or the present for Lene (of which there shall be no picture, lest we spoil the surprise), or the fleece artist socks, or that green sweater that I started the last time the mittens made my teeth itch. I will knit the mitten without cease until it is finished.

3. Should I find this impossible, or should the mitten bore me enough that I start to think about taking the mitten in progress, the yarn and it’s agitator comrades over to the corner and chewing them into an unrecognizable fibrous mass while cursing thumbs and evil overlords everywhere….I will instead atone by knitting on Tuppers mittens,

which remain, sadly…unfinished. (though I can assure you, with the utmost sincerity that I have checked the thumb placement very, very carefully) This act, while it will not help the cause of the Mitaines Sans Frontières but will relieve some of the burning, sombre shame that I feel at having abandoned them when this whole Knitters Without Borders thing got much, much bigger than I ever thought possible.

4. I will immediately stop pretending that I am “cleaning” the closets/rooms/boxes/basement where I keep the stash. Everyone knows that I don’t clean anything and that I am, in fact, simply perusing the stash in a desperate attempt to find something else to knit that is as pressing. Instead of engaging in this pathetic and transparent attempt to get out of knitting the third mitten (wow…makes your head pound a little just typing that) I will stop trying to plan my knitterly escape, and knit on the mitten.

5. Further to article #4. I will clean something. I don’t yet know what that might be, but as part of this series of oaths, I swear that I will put swabbing the kitchen floor near the top of the list so that the cat doesn’t get stuck down to it. Also…I will visit Mr. Washie and do some laundry. No matter how big my real job is, no matter how pressing the deadlines, no matter how upsetting the mittens, I do acknowledge that when your teenage daughter is desperately trying to find a clean pair of pants in the house and inquires about the availability of said item…that a loving, caring mother could probably come up with a better/more sympathetic response than asking, in the most exasperated and frustrated way possible, with that vein on her forehead bulging… “Do I look like I’ve got your clean pants up my arse?”

6. I will give away lots of thank you gifts on the blog so that the pain of knitting a third mitten is tempered by the joy of watching people get good stuff. ( I have emailed the winners)

Good stuff:

Heather has very generously donated a $20 gift certificate to Elann and it will be going to…(drumroll? Just one of these times I’d like there to be a drumroll) Eileen H.

Lynne in Australia has come up with a wee bling bag, she’ll be sending it all the way to the very lucky Jessica W

Jean has very generously offered her beautiful blue/purple handspun yarn

and Michelle L. will be enjoying it!

Lori has spun some amazing yarn with feathers (seriously, it’s very cool…go look)

and my handy dandy random number generator says that it’s going to live with Beth E.

Laura works at a yarn shop. (Can you imagine? I would be so bankrupt if I worked at a yarn shop.) and she’s very generously offered 2 skeins of Noro Kureyon, knitters choice of what she has available. Christina C. will be doing the choosing.

Hayley, owner of the Knitomatic shop here in Toronto, has generously offered this:

In case you can’t tell, that’s cashmere, and right now it sucks to be anybody but Elizabeth F. ’cause she just won it.

Elizabeth, bless her little heart, has decided that she can part with this skein of Noro Big Kureyon.

We hope it will be very happy in it’s new home with Jane (which Jane? The Jane who got an email. Check your inboxes…all you Janes)

Finally,

7. I will immediately cease and desist with the coveting of my fellow knitters thank you gifts. I will repeat the mantra “I have a lot of yarn” 200 times, and then I will spin, (because it is Tuesday) and knit the mittens until the completely predictable urge to keep all of this stuff passes.

(PS. A special thanks to Cynthia, who sent me Peets coffee. How did I not know about Peets? How I ask you? Do we have this in Canada? I’m drinking it now, and I want you to know that my life was shallow and empty before I knew this joy. Thanks Cynthia!)