Happy Birthday Mum!

The Birthday Parade continues over here at Chez Harlot, with today being the birthday of our esteemed Matriarch.


Mum is seen here wearing her brand spanking new Silk Vee, which fits and looks lovely on her. (You didn’t really think that I was giving up on knitting Birch because it was hot, did you? I mean, c’mon, I laugh in the face of heat, I embrace air so thick you can see it, I mock humidex temperatures of 36/97. I care nothing that my hair is the size of a VW bus and I can scarcely knit for the enormous shadow that my freakishly frizzy hair throws across my work…I, I…Okay. It’s a little warmish. I’m knitting mohair anyway. I thrive on adversity.)

Kindly ignore my Uncle Tupper lurking in the above photo. We have a problem taking good pictures of Mum. She looks lovely for about 2 seconds, then looses patience and looks away or talks. Really, the talking is the problem. Luckily, Tupp has been her brother long enough to know how to handle this McPhee trait.


That’s really what it takes.

The top 10 reasons you should wish my Mum a Happy Birthday.

(Yeah…I know. Same format as for Ian. It’s hot.)

10. The Silk Vee fits. (Ok, that’s not really about her, but I’m really happy anyway.)

9. Mum is looking for her lost keys. I can write this in the present tense because I know that wherever she is and whatever she’s doing right this minute, if we asked her for her keys we would be waiting a while.

8. Mum could run a country and never have unrest. She’s the best mediator in the world, empathetic, respectful, honest and assertive.

7. There is no point in arguing with my mother. (See above.)

6. I have never seen my mother panic. Not once, and you have no idea what we’ve put her through. (Scroll down to point #2 from Ian’s birthday, then use your imagination, then know that you are underestimating us.)

5. Mum makes a wicked ice cream float. (Oddly, I didn’t know this until she was a grandmother. Funny that.)

4. Mum had 4 kids in 5 years, then raised us first while being hampered by a spouse with divergent goals, then on her own when he…er….”moved on”. While she did this, she also got a degree from University and worked full-time to pay for the costs of the aforementioned 4 kids. Plus she did laundry. (If you are a mother of little ones, please know that the sharp intake of breath and then the low whistle that escaped you is normal and a healthy sign of respect for how totally tough that must have been).

3. She makes good cake, doesn’t knit and somehow leads a full rich life anyway.

2. Damn she’s funny.

1. She taught me about being practical, about being decent and about working hard. She also taught me how to write an essay, why you wash towels alone and what you do about slugs in the garden. Mum showed me that you can do absolutely anything if you can get a book from the library that shows how and that women are…well. I feel proud to be one. Mum also taught me manners, that you can’t have too much bleach, and that it ain’t a party ’till everybody’s dancing.

Happy Birthday Mum. Hope you still have pie.