Ahoy Me Hearties!

Look sharply me beauties, It be international “Talk like a pirate day” (With many ‘tanks to Patti, first mate for t’day who made sure I heard about it. ) I be takin’ it fer all that it be worth, for de purposes of me own amusement.

I knitted on the never endin’ bilge-rat bobble bind-off on me desperate Lotus Blossom shawl until I thoughts me mind would wander off, and despite having just about gnawed off me own right arm due out of bordom, I thinks it looks pretty good. (According to the stolen clock in me galley, dis bind-off takes longer than pillaging a Spanish Galleon and stuffin’ the treasure in me stash. Two hours and twenty-five dastardly minutes. Arrr.)


I call this one “Avast ye scurvy Lassie, Hold this piece of knitting in the window before you go to school, and hold a civil tongue in yer head about the oddness of the Captain.” (This is the only picture with accurate colour. The captains camera is as old as her ship)


and this one “There’s not a body here to take a picture of yer accomplishments… so we’ll throw it on the spinning wheel Steering Wheel, while the neighbours calls ye “odder than fish”


This last one we calls “Emma showed up for coffee and took the picture, and even said Arrrrrr while she dids it.”

Tomorrow, why second sock syndrome ain’t a problem for pirates.


99 thoughts on “Ahoy Me Hearties!

  1. Steph, my pet, my sweet – I’m still not satisfied with this Shawl Calculator. Indulge my logical line of reasoning. If the last row alone took you three hours (almost) and you had, what 8 rows left when you had 9.5%, then it must have taken you, like maybe 3 straight days of knitting to do this shawl? I find this equation most unsatisfying…
    I mean, a 40lb bag of peatmoss is lighter than a 40 lb bag of lead, isn’t it? Cause there’s lots of air in between the moss? Right?
    Then again, you can’t complain for beauty – it does look mighty good… despite the mathmatics… 🙂

  2. A 40lb bag of peat moss is BIGGER than an 40lb bag of lead. I think.
    Beautiful shawl. Arrr, me hearties!!!

  3. Lovely Lotus Blossom! Even the bobbles are great, considering the time they take to knit. What yarn are you using? I’ve forgotten if you told us. [gads, the memory is going faster and faster…]
    Still looking forward to bookbookbook2; it’s supposed to be in the mail as we speak.

  4. You must be the fastest shawl knitter on the continent! Do you sleep? Do you shower? Do you eat? Amazing. My problem is I can’t sit for very long. Too fidgety. It gets in the way of completing things! Beautiful shawl!

  5. Hey, I’m just the messenger here…
    “Arr de arr de arr… Ahoy, Cap’n ‘Arlot! Where be yer matchin’ knitted eyepatch, lassie? Fer a pint o’ grand ale anda glance at yer rack the ol’ Captain Hook will crochet one for ye…”

  6. Aye, Lassie – that be a loverly sight to behold. I’ma reading B3/2 and, poke a stick in my eye, it is causin’ much whoopin’ and howlin’. I’m much beholden to ya!

  7. Thank you. You have made an absolutely ghastly day much more bearable!
    I lack the wherewithal to talk like a pirate, except if I need to curse. Then, no problem.

  8. Ahoy! Thar be a beautiful lookin’ shawl, Cap’n… Course there be some rollin’ good rovin’ I be possessing, who’s name be “Tangerine Sunshine” (but translated in this here pirate lingo be “Burnin’ Sally”) that I may be wantin’ to try this pattern on.
    Then again, there may be some serious pillaging and looting as well as running amok before I be tryin’ that pattern…

  9. Arr, ye crafty wench! I loved ye afore now, but the fact that ye celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day really hoists the mainsail fer me. :-b An’ yer bobbles be lovely, lassie. ‘Twas worth the time spent not pilferin’.

  10. Ey Harlot, that’s a fine shawl you’d be making there.
    I be glad you didn’t go mad and throw ye self to Davey Jones’ locker Arrrrr.
    Why are pirates so mean?
    Because they Arrrrrrr.

  11. And while S.Kate be crochetin’ up an eyepatch, I’ll be castin’ on for a felted parrot for ye, Cap’n. Because we all know, parrots and eyepatches go together like…ummmm…harlots and screetch.

  12. Stephanie, some might say you were a few pieces of eight short of a doubloon. . . but your binding off leaves Anne Bonny far back in your wake. . .

  13. Avast ye swabbies! Yon Harlot’s message came just in the nick o’ time. I bought me pirate obsessed college daughter a pair o’ pirate panties at yon Wal o’ Mart (Ok they’re really Halloween panties, but they’re black wi’ the jolly roger on the front and all the skulls and crossbones on the back glow-in-the-dark) (not that any o’ the scurvy crew will see them, or they’ll feel the bite o’ my cutlass!! arrrgh), and the pirate book at yon Borders (which still doesn’t have B3/2, the scurvy wharf rats). Now I can send her the grand pirate link to properly prepare her for the loverly package. I’ll sprinkle in some Dem Bones candies to set the mood and I’d send along a bottle o’ the Screech except 1)they don’t sell it in the Rockies and 2)it probably doesn’t fit the USPS’s “flammable or potentially hazardous” guidelines. ARRGH! Swab the poop deck, prime the cannons, hoist yon bonny lotus blossom above the mains’il and set sail for sunny waters!!!

  14. Loverly Lotus – you have more patience than me as I would never sit for those bobbles. Simply gorgeous.
    Tricky – 40lbs is 40lbs is 40lbs. As mentioned however, a 40lb bag of peat moss will be a much bigger bag than a 40lb bag of cement.

  15. If you’re going to talk pirate, you have to incorporate “yar” and “nar” into your vocabulary. People seem rather ok when I use the affirmative but they’re a little perturbed when I answer “nar”. Careful though, it’s contageous and hard to cure:)
    Gorgeous shawl too.

  16. Now don’t ye be thinkin’ that just because ye have got that peg-leg you won’t be a’needin’ that other sock. Yer not sneakin’ up on a mate with all that racket ye’ll be a’makin’! Cover that blasted thing and keep the noise down so’s I can get me rest! (aaargh!)

  17. I’m not doing none of this pirate-talk writing, but I will say that those beautiful shawl photographs came up just as someone was going on and on and ON about something or other on the phone. I was so distracted, I don’t know what he said (probably wasn’t important) 🙂
    Great job!! I find the shawl to be so inspiring.

  18. ok isn’t a 40 lb bag of anything the same as a 40 lb bag of anything else going to weigh the same?! ok i’m sorry i can’t do pirate talk.. i’m usually just the wench.. hee..hee.. 🙂 karola

  19. Beautiful as always. As I read this post, I can imagine you standing at a podium, in front of hundreds of knitters, with a knitted eye patch and a knitted stuffed parrot on your shoulder. Now that would be a show-stopper!
    May your sails be full and your treasure chest overflowing.

  20. Arr! Tis past time to set sail across the pond fer lootin’ & pillagin’ fine yarny treasures (and screech).

  21. Arr, don’t be scarin’ me from the Lotus Blossom bind-off!
    I’m working on the same shawl, and I already wanted to ditch the bobbles (not really my thing)… and I think you just further convinced me to do so. 😛
    The shawl looks lovely!

  22. The shawl is beautiful and I am sad I am going to miss seeing you at Stitches, I bought a ticket to go to Ontario this weekend before I found out you were going to be there. But I will see you at Rhinebeck. Although I will probably send my book to be signed by my friends.
    For Tricky to understand that 40lbs is 40 lbs is 40 lbs is 18.18 kgs
    A 40 lb bag of peat moss is more dense than 40 lb lead but they weigh the same (They are both 40 lb). Where you might be confused is that a 40 lb bag of peat moss might be easier to carry (since you can spread the weight over my area (ie use your hips or shoulders) than the lead. With people a sleeping child can be more tiring to carry than an awake child and seem heavier but they weigh the same.
    Same goes with the shawl 10% is 3 hours so it was probably around 30 hours of knitting. Which unless Steph has more time to knit than the rest of us is more than 3 days.

  23. a’hoy bouy gurl! no second matey sox for pirates cuz they gots peg legs they do!
    har har har
    marie in florida
    buccaneers all over the place
    where are your buccaneers?
    under me buccan hat….

  24. Arr…thanks for making me feel betterrrr on this crrrruddy day in SickVille…I should call my seafair Pirate friend and have him come over and entertain us here in the Sick House. 🙂

  25. 40 lbs of peat is the same as 40 lbs of lead,
    but 40 lbs of gold is weighed in Troy lbs,
    and 40 lbs of peat is weighed in avoirdupois lbs,
    so 40 lbs of gold weighs less than 40 lbs of peat!
    So remember: steal the gold, not the peat!

  26. You scurvy ol harlot!
    arrr, it be beyond an ol seadog like meself to be a knittin’ a beaut such as yers there. arrr!
    arrr, got ye olde bookbookbook2 and arrr.. it be a mighty fine read.
    Look for meselfs with the pink monkeys…to be askin for a signin at stitches.
    Arrrr, Pass the rum, now won’t ye? *hic*

  27. ehhhhehhehh. LBS is beautiful!! And thankfully, while it had a “never endin’ bilge-rat bobble bind-off” at least it didn’t SMELL like a bilge. Hehhehhhe.

  28. Ahoy, me harlot beauty! That is some fine booty yer sportin’ in the arse-end and ye locks of gold look mightily coiffed. And the shawl ain’t bad, neither. Arrrrr.

  29. My 19 year old son showed up for breakfast this morning decked out as a pirate and talking like one too. I think I got a parenting bonus point because I already knew that it was talk like a pirate day:) My 8 year old daughter was very taken with the idea too and had to dress up and find a sword (well a knife had to do because her brother’s sword was too heavy and made her pants fall down:))and other suitable pirate attire even if her brothers tried to tell her that girls couldn’t be pirates. She didn’t listen to them. The 13 and 16 year old boys weren’t interested in taking part but found their sister’s attempts at pirate speak mildly amusing.

  30. Avast, me hearties! Not only snagged a copy o’ b3/2 at Willow, but read the whole thing! ‘Tis a wonder, like the shawl! Arrr!

  31. Aaaarrggh, Harlot, ne’er have I seen the likes of yer great, grand shawl!
    a side note, inspired by the pirate theme of the day: when my friend rebecca’s daughter sofia was about four, she and her mother were walking in jersey city and passed a very tough-looking, gang-banger kind of guy with a bandana tied around his head. sofia yelled out “excuse me, pirate? Do you say ‘ahoy?’ where is your parrot?” rebecca smiled, stammered some kind of apology and hauled herself and sofia away rather quickly.

  32. Talk like a pirate day? I loves it! Tis too bad the sun be nearly settin’. I’ll be markin’ me calender and till the next one comes about. Arrrr!

  33. Well, the bind-off may take an excruciating amount of time to complete and be boring as all get-out … but the end result is definitely worth it.
    It’s wonderful.

  34. Right handsome. And some accomplishment for a wench what believes that them diagrams ain’t so much a code as a suggestion, like…

  35. …nutters, the lot of yez… but I do of course mean that in the best possible way :o)
    I Love the colour of the shawl in the ‘true colour’ pic. What’s the yarn?

  36. Why, shiver me timbers, lassie! I be mighty impressed that ye took the time to post like a pirate t’day! Ye be a far better wench than I! Arrrrrr…

  37. You know, I thought last year that my husband was making up International Talk Like A Pirate Day when he came home spouting “Yargg, me matey!” in such great glee. I laughed myself silly when I checked in here today and found further evidence of this holiday! (That and my husband is only using pirate-speak right now.)

  38. Pirate joke (Steph – you may have to censor)
    Pirate walks into a bar. He has a ship’s wheel sticking out of his fly. The bartender says…”Did ya know ya have a ship’s wheel sticking out of your fly?” and the pirate says…”ARRRR! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

  39. Ok, too much pressure from your other comments…i will not try to type like a talking pirate. No way. Love the shawl. My three year old just had a pirate party a couple weeks ago. Too much pressure…must resist!

  40. So lovely. Really, just beautiful.
    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile but am commenting for the first time at the behest of my husband, who has accused me of “stalking that harlot from afar.”

  41. For all you landlubbers with pirate aspirations, you must get a CD called “Bedtime Stories for Pirates!” It’s on Amazon, by a couple of brilliant performers who call themselves Captain Bogg and Salty. Great tunes, appropriate for kids without making parents lose their minds, KWIM? “Scurvey” is hysterical – sort of punk rock pirate. My two year old can sing along – “Eat a lime! Eat a lime!” NA, YY.
    Michelle <–who celebrates talking like a pirate every day, and whose Little Tykes plastic jungle gym currently boasts a home-made Jolly Roger and black mailing tube cannon for her three favorite little pirate.

  42. I was in Barnes & Noble this weekend stalking your bookbookbook and I slid off of their slate steps to the cafe area and landed on my knees (very unattractively – “no, I’m FINE. I hope I’m invisible”) and have been WALKING LIKE A PIRATE ever since. I just think if I wander around limping with a golfball-sized lump on my knee and talking like a pirate (which I’m endlessly grateful to the gods whoever they may be that I refrained from swearing like a pirate) that the very uptight neighbors would be calling each other to chat about it. My best girlfriend would laugh her arse off and limp around with me uttering pirate curses all over the place! Thank the gods for her! She happens to be in Canada being polite right now!
    They didn’t have your second book yet after all that! Ugh!

  43. Aw, Stephanie . . . I just read the “What Her Hands Won’t Do” chapter in bookbookbook2 and am almost crying. That was so sweet! A wake for her knitting . . . gifts from Lene . . . I am so touched!

  44. Slightly off-color joke — Arrrgh! I dinna know if it be appropriate herrre, lads and lassies. Come to my blog to read it!
    Sorry Stephanie, my link doesnt’ work…I’ll fix it later.

  45. Beautiful shawl, as usual. The bookbookbook2 is wonderful. I got the only copy the bookstore had at last night’s Sit ‘n’ Knit session. The other ladies weren’t happy with me, but I have the book!

  46. The shawl looks wonderful. I caught my breath just looking at the first picture. It makes me want to go and cast on right now. After reading the post, all the comments, and telling my husband a few really bad pirate jokes, there is still one question on my mind… why is it even the most beautiful shawl really is just an arrow down to the crack of our rears? Thanks, as always, for the laughs.

  47. I think I would have choked myself too to keep from choking the peatmoss person. It reminds of a story I heard about Yogi Berra. He ordered a pizza pie for lunch and the girl behind the counter asked if he wanted it cut in six slices or eight. He said “Six slices I don’t think I can eat eight.”

  48. Oh me, that’s just lovely! I really love t’ color. And thanks for t’ congrats, I’m keepin’ me fin’ers crossed!
    It’s good t’ see you celebrate one o’ our favorite days!

  49. AVAST! that thar lotus blossom shawl looks mighty purty, arrrr. and the colors are quite splendiferous, too, avast. (ok, i’m pooped now)

  50. I read your blog and laughed, then I got the paper and laughed harder. Front page “Scalawags beware! It’s ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’!” It is even complete with definitions.
    ARRR! -an all purpose word meaning “yes,” “I agree,” “I’m enjoying this beer(did they even have Screech?),” “That was a clever remark you or I just made.”And, of course,there is more. Rams “Pirates of the Caribbean” reference had me rolling! Now I’m off to Walmart for the Pirate panties for my 14 year old. She can NOT wait for the POTC sequel due out next year.

  51. As I am job hunting in Phoenix in 103 Heat I have nothing piratical to say, but what a splendid shawl. I will knit one as soon as I can get some yarn money.Inspirational. Vicki

  52. I do think that the fact that the bobble cast off takes three hours ISN”T caculated in the shawl caculator.. so I wouldn’t take that as an estimate on how long it took the final project.

  53. At our house, every day is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Except the the third Tuesday of the month, when we talk like Bette Davis between 2-4 p.m. CST.
    I would say your shawl is fantabulous, but pirates aren’t supposed to say “fantabulous.”

  54. Q. What did the pirate say when the steering wheel got stuck in his lap?
    A. “ARRRRRRRggggghhhh! It’s drivin me nuts!”

  55. thanks to this post I was able to correctly guess in a “contest” between the med students today…why the others didn’t know it was “talk like a pirate” is beyond me.

  56. The beauty of it makes me want to weep. Imagine mere mortals being able to create from 2 sticks, some thread and imagination.
    The pirate in me wants ta thief if off yer.

  57. Oh dear! Even the Yarn Harlot got on board with “Talk Like A Pirate Day!” I love it!!
    -The Crazy Money Lady

Comments are closed.