Burt, it’s been a slice

Atlantic City and Stitches East were fab beyond belief. I spent the weekend signing books, meeting knitters…greeting bloggers and falling at the feet of designers who inspire me.

(I have to tell you that when they pointed out Beth Brown-Reinsel to me I felt a pang of guilt. I hope she doesn’t know about Joe’s Gansey. I didn’t introduce myself, partly because I was awed by her existence and partly as I was worried that if she *did* know about Joe’s Gansey, things might go badly for me in public. Can you imagine? Being dressed down by a gansey expert in front of hundreds of knitters? Revealing you for the slacker you are? Horrors.)

I had the privilege of sharing a room with my friend Juno, and she made every minute more fun. Together we had a shocking shawl-to-human-ration in the hotel room.


That’s eight. Eight shawls to equip two women for two days. (The shocking part is how long it took us to realize how odd that was. Considering how many hand knit shawls are in the average hotel room you have to figure that we were at least a statistical anomaly.)

Walking through the hotel was fun though, Knitters in the halls, knitters in the elevators, knitters only in the restaurants. (Not so many in the casinos. I suspect that many of them felt as Juno and I did, which was that a casino seemed a silly place to take one’s yarn money…being as there is no yarn there…and that we had already gambled a fair bit by purchasing a new sock yarn.)

In the end, Juno and I crowned the current sock Miss America


(Where else would their be a cast bronze statue of Burt Parkes?)

Praised the charming Miss Knotology on her Koigu triumph


and fled into the night.

Two points of business.

1. Tonight I’m at Adirondack yarns in Lake Placid at 7:00. Should be a lovely way to spend a rainy evening. Cozy with my knitting at a really nice yarn shop. (The place is Filthy with Fleece Artist. Filthy.) Come out and play if you are close.

2. The surprise is ready. Call 877- SOS-KNIT (toll free in Canada and the US) and know me for the true and full dork that I am.

149 thoughts on “Burt, it’s been a slice

  1. HA HA HA HA!!!
    Oh, Stephanie, I’m ROLLING!! I didn’t even pick any of the options, I was laughing too hard. (I figure I need to pace myself – save some for later when I need it.)
    Considering my recent adventures with a hat for my sons’ playmate, this is just too perfect.

  2. …now I am laughing my ass off! This could not have been timed better-I was just telling my husband that I WILL finish my knitting on time.
    Yeah, right.
    Thanks for being there.

  3. thank you, thank you, thank you — you are too funny. My next thought after that is that your voice is lower than I expected — didn’t you say you’re short? Aren’t short women supposed to have higher voices? I’m 5’12” and your voice is lower than mine. Re. Christmas knitting — I’m proud to report that last Christmas I was able to secretly knit my devoted spouse a pair of felted clogs, and that we were still able to felt them on Christmas day despite the 4 kids and 18 things that required assembly. (The secrecy, now that I think about it, may have been due to those 4 kids.) I figure if I can get through that, I can do anything. Except maybe this sweater I’m trying to knit for my sister.
    Bless you — will you PLEASE come to Richmond, Virginia? We need you.

  4. Oh dear, that’s so funny! What a great surprise… especially because I finished your second book yesterday, and I was starting to go into withdrawal!

  5. I’ve been rading your blog for over a year now, but today I just HAD to write you a comment telling you how great that hotline is! And as a previous commenter wrote–your voice is much deeper than I expected. Not in a bad way or anything though, of course!

  6. Wow, that was just what i needed during my long day at work. Your perfectly deadpan delivery was hysterical. And all those Canadian pronunciations…well, it was worth listening just for that. Thanks, Stephanie. Maybe this year I’ll get what i really want for Christmas!

  7. How much eggnogg were ye into whilst delivering these messages?
    methinks you have lived these moments. Can’t wait till husband gets home….he’s going to have a phone by his ear. Thanks Stephanie! What a HOOOOOT!

  8. Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. . . if you ever get another chance to meet Beth B-R, do NOT run in the other direction. She may well be one of the nicest knitters I’ve ever met, despite her terrifying knowledge of everything I wish I did better. I would be 110% surprised if she yelled at you.
    I saw you at The Mannings’ booth yesterday signing books, and meant to come right back and give you a pinch (friendly like, of course). But life happens, and I missed a chance to talk to you. . .expletive deleted.

  9. *cough* Ok, um, I have a question? (raises hand)
    Steph, whenever did you develop a Southern U.S. accent? And is that a golf something-or-other, or was I hearing things? (At least it wasn’t a sex chat line.)
    I have to go lie down now.

  10. Hands-down, my favorite is the instruction to hold the headset up to the ear of your spouse if you want a better present this year. No contest. Well, that is the one I listened to, so I had better go listen the others, eh? Some, of course, I have to save because I am not panicking … yet!
    Great editing, Joe!

  11. Ignore me. I dialed the wrong damned number and got some southern golf package selling people. It’s 1-877-767-5448 if anyone wants to hear it too. Jeez.

  12. Oh my GAWD! I’m cracking up over here. Just had to push number 3 to hear how you’d convince my husband what the perfect Christmas gift would be. He is on an airplane coming home right now but as soon as he enters the door, I’m handing him the phone!
    P.S. I’m dying to try some Screech!

  13. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I’m dealing with the world’s worst skein tangle (but at least the Mountain Colors is wonderfully soft) and a purple toe, and hearing your timely advice, at which I giggled immediately, was just the thing for it.
    I’ll call back, I’ve only listened to one menu selection so far.
    Glad you’re enjoying this leg of your tour.

  14. As soon as I feel able to get off this chaise lounge, I’m dialing.
    You and Juno together at Stitches East? That is a fearsome thought. Rather like contemplating a hurricane of yarn lust.

  15. You know, it’s really creepy when the greater forces of the universe come together at one point in space and time to remind a young knitter that even though she saw herself today in an essay about IT and even though she heard the voice of the great Yarn Harlot herself describing the insanity that she knows she’s about to undertake before the coming holiday season, the young knitter sits back and thinks bravely(/foolishly) that she can avoid IT by carefully planning and diligence.
    Not that I know what you mean, or anything…

  16. I love it, I just love it! I decided to catch up on a couple of blogs before casting on for the first of six knitted holiday gifts (no sweaters, I promise), and what do I get? The perfect hotline! You rock! What else can I say?

  17. I love it!! And with this $*#&@ baby blanket (although I guess I can’t say you didn’t warn me) I certainly needed it. I’ve only listened to one of the options so far – need to savor them. It won’t be disappearing any time soon, right?

  18. #3!!!!! I love you. Just too moved. LOL. I’m trying to type from my floor here.
    Oh Gosh. I’m sooo putting this on speed dial- but on my boyfriend’s phone to replace my phone number- with option #3.

  19. Oh my GOSH….I’m dying. Hilarious!!!
    I was already going to note and tell you that the lovely Purolator lady delivered the bookbookbook2 today and I can’t wait to start reading it….it’s a big ol’ “laughing with Stephanie” day in my life!!
    Thanks for the laugh. I’m SO calling back tomorrow.

  20. That makes sooooo much more sense than the Butterball hotline. Who needs to know how to cook turkey anyway? It’s the knitters who need advice and encouragement. I didn’t press all the options, but I’m sure I’ll need them throughout the holiday season!
    Your voice is different than I expected, but I’m not sure what I expected. Someone mentioned that it is low for a short person. As another low-voiced short person named Stephanie, I wonder if others expect me to sound like Minnie Mouse. I had someone tell me that they expected me to be older after speaking to me on the phone. I’m not sure what that means.
    Anyway, congrats on your dorkiness. It’s a real virtue.

  21. Oh Steph… Beth wouldn’t dress you down. She’s one of the kindest women I’ve met! She’d encourage you. She’d be proud of you for spinning your own…
    And the SOS line… I’m lovin’ it!
    Now I’ve got the urge to knit a gift for everyone in my family! ….
    I’ll be blaming you in December

  22. Thanks for the demo of what to do with all the shawls I have in my WIMs list if I ever actually get more than one of them done.
    And special thanks for the new SOS KNIT line! Last Christmas I made 8 scarves, 2 hats and 2 facecloths between Thanksgiving and Christmas; 10 of them went to Washington State and Illinois and arrived before 12/25. I was a wreck!! This year I will be fortified by the calm humor at 877-767-5648.
    And to Stephanie VW, I am 5-2 minus and low-voiced; people have told me they expected me to be taller, based on my phone voice. ??!!??

  23. I can hardly see the screen to type, with the tears of laughter rolling down my face! I shrieked so loudly that I scared my cats! I listened to all the options; just too funny.
    I just wish there were a way to get Screech out here in California. THAT would help with Christmas gifts, wouldn’t it?
    Thanks ever so much.

  24. Do you remember the books where you had story options to choose from and then you had to turn to that particular page to find out the rest of the story…..
    You could market a book like your hotline or even notecards or holiday cards (with a picture of the respective knitter freakin’ out surrounded by 10 projects all over her body and maybe even a few extra arms, etc.) based on what I just heard.
    You…are…Too funny… but it is so true. Do only us knitter’s truly get it???
    I was honored to meet you at Stitches… it was too brief.

  25. Well, I have to tell you that I’m still feeling star struck after seeing you at Adirondack Yarns tonight. You are the funniest, most amazingly down to earth person I have ever had the good fortune to meet. If it weren’t for the kids and husband I’d hit the road to be your groupie! LOL I hope you had a little bit of free time to enjoy the area and I especially hope that you’ll be able to visit again!

  26. I am laughing so much I am in tears!
    I am RESISTING MIGHTILY taking thephoneupstairs and pressing the phone to my husbands ear…he is sleeping MIGHTILY RESISTING!
    I was considering asking him to help me with my book knitting to so #4 is perfect!

  27. Steph, that was frickin’ great. My bf and I just listened to the whole recording (he on his phone, me on mine. He’s a knitter too, and between you and I, we’ve made him a complete yarn snob)
    I’m sure the people down stairs think we’re insane. Thank you. This will get me through the holidays.

  28. lol.. thats too funny… everyone in my house took a turn listening, when my youngest girl ( she’s 7) was listening and listened to option 3, she yellat at her dad and said “dad this ones for you!!” too funny… she knows me pretty well huh??

  29. May I add my praises for Miss Knotology! That is a beautiful shawl! I am about to embark on my first Koigu shawl. Pray for me!

  30. That was the funniest thing I’ve heard in weeks! I am so glad I wasn’t drinking anything while I was listening…. bookbookbook2 was lovely, I finished it in the tub this morning while being Princessish for my B-day!

  31. Well, Stephanie, I just had to write and say I made the mistake of listening to this at almost 1:00 at night. My entire family is in bed, and I am sitting here trying not to fall down in hysterical laughter at option #3 and sounding like a strangled cat. Thanks for giving me my first real laugh in the last 3 weeks. You don’t know how bad I needed it.

  32. Lake Placid? Oh how reading about the Northeast tour is killing me. I so want to be knitting in the NE, and especially the Adirondacks. *sigh*
    It’s still over 100 here in Phoenix everyday. Overnight lows in the 70s. I miss real autumn.

  33. although 8 is probably a statistical anomaly, I found that a shawl is actually the perfect thing to take to hotels. much more useful than a dressing gown/housecoat (at least if you don’t plan to go into the corridor naked) and good insurance against over zealous air conditioning.

  34. Oh, man, I called the number from work…imagine sitting in a roomful of guys trying not to giggle while listening to that recording!! I about choked to death.
    Too funny, and I’ll be calling the number again and again over the holidays too!
    Thanks to you and your publishers for doing this, we all need it.

  35. So, you and I were in the Sheraton? Were you with the group of laughing and partying knitters in Room 909? I was in 908, tempted to knock on the door and crash the fun.

  36. Had a very ‘deer in the headlights’ moment when I saw you at the Colorplay booth at Stitches. I looked, thought about saying hi then thought- SHE DOESNT KNOW ME! – and ran! They probably thought I was stealing little balls of cashmere! So- I can TOTALLY relate to your not wanting to greet BBR!
    Good to stalk you!

  37. I’m so happy I got to meet you Steph! (And Juno!) And I am very pleasantly surprised by how normal I look in that picture, how the heck did you do that!?!? Will call the number tonight, right now I’m late for work! Thanks so much!!

  38. Somehow it doesn’t surprise me, I have got to meet you!! I dislike when you travel because you don’t post as often….!! Come to Milwaukee, we need some knitting excitement here!!

  39. Dork is such a funny word. Is it a throwback from your (and my) youth, or still in play today? The recording is toooo amusing. I’ll be playing #3 to spouse and daughter. And, I have my first holiday item completed (well, I have to weave in the ends…), and am on a sweater (men’s – ugh), and hope to knock off, oh, say about a dozen more items, and perhaps what is hardest is that I’m trying to knit all projects from the sizeable stash. Horrors! to you too :~}

  40. I’m knitting a bag to be felted and my husband’s current question is “um..exactly how big is that thing going to be?” (He’s an engineer. He’s real big on exact. I think it makes him a little crazy when I just shrug my shoulders and say “big enough to hold stuff”. Truthfully, I’m not sure since I used stash yarn that’s a different gauge and larger needles than called for, and didn’t really feel like doing the math to adjust. Hey, it’s a bag. If it’s bigger or smaller it’s no big deal!) His other “cute” comment is to tell my daughter “look, Mom’s knitting you a hockey bag to carry your gear in”. Unfortunately, almost 5yo’s are very literal and she’s begun looking at it and saying “it’s very pretty, but I’d like it better if it had pink”. Loved the SOS-KNIT. I pushed 1. I’ll save the other options for later when I need a laugh! For now it’s back to work on the almost finished “hockey bag”. Now if I could only figure out which box the movers put my zippered “felting bags” in and the jeans I use to help agitate, I might have this bag done so the engineer can measure it “exactly” before bedtime!

  41. OMG…you rule.
    And you know…I ALMOST said something about your deep voice after I met you in Holden!

  42. Oh that was great. You really should warn people not to listen to it at work though. If you can keep from laughing you can at least pretend it’s your voicemail or something. My voicemail is never that funny.
    Oh, and sadly enough, I’m one of the people in the “voice lower than I thought” camp. And I’m only 5’1″ so of all people I should realize that not all short people sound like they belong in the lollypop guild.

  43. Great surprise! I too almost choked a few times while listening at work and can’t wait until I can play #3 for DH. I was kind of bemused at how calm and soothing your voice is.

  44. You take the funniest pics! I really think you need to have a book with your knits which travel the world and have their pictures taken in hilarious places! Those pictures always make my day!

  45. I laughed myself stupid when I listened. I put you on speakerphone and got the BF to listen to option #3, and I think it sank in, so many thanks to you.
    Glad you’re having fun on this leg of the journey!

  46. How did you know???? Let’s see, I only have three scarves, a purse, a shawl, a beanie, a devil hat, and an afghan to do between now and Christmas. It wouldn’t be too bad, except for this being my first shawl…why did I ever think that would be a good present for my mother? 😉

  47. I’m sooo going to make the bf listen to #3. I love the video games and cd’s, but maybe he should venture out of his electronic store comfort zone every once in a while. I NEED YARN!

  48. Brilliant and hysterical, I love it! So when is the 900-number coming out? You know, the one with Yarn Porn? I�m sure plenty of people would pay 2 bucks a minute to hear you describe your stash is lascivious detail. �Ooooh, the Lorna�s Laces feels so goooood. Mmmmmm . . . touch it, you know you want to . . .�, �Press 2 if you�re a Naughty Knitter� and the like. Come on, there’s a whole untapped market out there!

  49. You are a riot! How’d you know we were all planning to knit 22 pairs of socks and 4 scarves for Christmas?
    Personally, I’m boycotting holiday knitting this year. Well, maybe just one pair of socks for my boyfriend’s brother. But nothing else. It’s just not worth the time and effort, and I’ll be so much happier just knitting for myself.
    That won’t stop me from calling your SOS line again, though. 😀

  50. I just called my husband and told him that he needed to return a phone call. I gave him the number and told him to press 3…. 🙂

  51. Steph, you crack me up.. i’mso excited about Oct16th.. can’t wait.. i almost got it mixed up with the NYC Knit Out Crochet TOOOO and woudl have tried to drive up there this weekend and then in 2 week tried to do the park.. haha.. nope i’ll be at Rheinbeck to meet and greet you.. so excited.. hope to be rolling on the floor there as well! 🙂 karola

  52. See, I TOLD you we wanted to hear your stuff in your own sweet voice. What a hit you’ve made! Was any screech involved? Joe was either wrong about your loud breathing or it doesn’t matter because he’s good at his job, so when is the audio book coming out? And thanks to your publisher if they’re the ones footing the bill for all of us yarn harlettes that will be calling this hotline dozens of times before Christmas.

  53. It’s busy. Like that really fast busy signal that means it’s offline. Did all you other knitters swamp the lines and knock out the surprise? Now my boss is really going to think I’m nuts, dialing a busy number all day…

  54. Snork! That was great. I only pressed 3, but I’ll call for more next time I take a break.
    A brilliant idea. Every thought of working for the CBC? Oh ya…

  55. dammit you made me SNORT while listening and it took all my self-control not to listen to the affirmations until I really need them (or i’m bored and sitting in public someday soon). That and you gave me my canadian accent fix 🙂

  56. A true treat – thanks for making us laugh yet again! #3 is my absolute fav!
    And to think I just turned the heal on the first sock for sock pair #1 and am 2 inches into the first sock for sock pair #2. Glad to know I’m not the only knitter getting started on the holidays. ;}

  57. Shawl to human ratio– judging from what I’ve been seeing around the library where I work, the ratio here may be about 2 to 1, which is high for a workplace.
    (All libraries built after 1970 have climate control systems dependent on sunspots for temperature determination, as far as I can tell.)

  58. OMG – Of course I had to call. Yep, your voice wasn’t what I was expecting, but it is very pleasant to listen too, kinda earth mother-y.
    I had tears leaking out of my eyes – definately should not have called from work. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. I will be distributing that liberally amongst my knitting friends!
    Spiderlady is right, you should come to Milwaukee! Great beer here, you know.

  59. I’m listening to it now Steph,you.are.crazy lol
    I’d like to know how you didn’t bust right out laughing while you taped it..that was the best phone call I have ever made

  60. I LOVE the surprise! Since laughter is so healthy, I can call the number every day for my daily dose of knitting AND laughing.
    All of those shawls! The one you were wearing at Stitches, on Friday, was so pretty. (It’s in the upper right corner of the bed draped across the pillows – the mini shawl) What yarn did you use? And, as if that wasn’t difficult to remember, what was the color? Oh, I hope you didn’t dye it yourself!
    Thank you for not reporting me as a stalker, or having me removed from the Convention Center. You’re a sweetie!

  61. Oh, I think I’ll be slipping that number into Dave’s wallet, clearly indicating that he should dial option 3. 🙂
    As for the shawls, well, I see nothing wrong with it. How do you know which one you are going to want to wear until you get dressed that day? You might *think* you are in a Flower Basket mood, but really, you wake up and you’re thinking about Birch!

  62. the SOS made my day–and reminded me so very clearly of christmases (of mine, and of others) past. i hope you don’t mind, but i shared it with a friend that routinely gets into the ‘i can knit for everyone for christmas’ and stops sleeping three weeks before due date. it’s a standing joke. thanks for the surprise–it was truly appreciated.

  63. I bow at Miss Knotology’s feet.
    It’s about time there was help for those who decide to destroy their holidays by knitting themselves into oblivion. It’s soooo not worth it!

  64. Steph, your voice is much deeper than I expected! I shouldn’t have called from work – it was very hard not to laugh really, REALLY loudly. :-b You really sound like one of those TV ads for a mental health institution.
    Good stuff.

  65. OMG!!! Too Funny!!
    I especially like the way you say Out at “Oot” and Doubt as “doot”. Too Cute! But no loud breathing or cussing…dammit!

  66. OMG way too awesome!!!
    I love it!
    I had to listen to number 3 I couldnt help myself-
    I am making scarves for 10 people…. i will be calling around december 24

  67. I love it! I want to listen to it over, and over and over!!
    Thanks for the support! And thanks for telling me I can do it!

  68. Now, y’all stop that. Stephanie does not (as she would be quick to tell you) say “oot” and “aboot.” Neither, I have to disillusion her (back me up here,) say “out” and “about.” Life is not black and white. What she says (hit redial) is something closer to “auout” (more than one syllable, though not quite two — the movement is more vertical than horizontal,)and “abaout” (not five syllables, but surely more than two.) For the record, I say “mock” as if it rhymed with “talk.” All hail diversity.

  69. Now. THAT’S. Funny. People always look at me strangly when I snort with laughter at my computer. It’s all your fault.

  70. Surely I wasn’t the only one hoping you were recording an audio book version of book book book(s)? Because isn’t that the next step? Then we can knit AND “read.” Can’t think of a better combination, except maybe adding chocolate and wine…

  71. Stephanie, best surprise EVER, thank you (and Joe!) so much for taking the time to do that. It’s officially the best and biggest knitter’s inside joke of all time. Kudos to you!

  72. OH. MY. GOD.
    tooooo funny. I think I sat here for at LEAST 15 minutes, pressing different options to hear what you’d say. LOL! I LOVE IT!

  73. I’ve tattooed the number to my hand with a Sharpie, I’ll be dialing it often during the next few months. I haven’t laughed so hard since you visited Vancouver BC – THANK-YOU!!!

  74. Okay. First, I love the way Canadians speak. So, “house” and “about” and “freaking out” are now some of my favorite expressions.
    Second, you ROCK my WORLD. Honest. I am laughing so hard I thought I wet myself. I can’t stop giggling.
    And I think you have a great voice … Oddly enough, you sound the way I thought you might. Just perfect.
    I’m putting it on speed-dial. No reason not to — and I’m maybe turning into a big fan …

  75. And I don’t know what’s funnier … Reading this post … or reading all the wonderful comments.
    I say “mock” as if it rhymed with “talk” also … Why is that?

  76. Amen Rams!! I don’t hear any aboot and oot and doot. I have never understood why Americans hear that.
    *I say “mock” as if it rhymed with “talk” also … Why is that?*
    Me too; that’s how I say it. I didn’t know there was another way. How else would one pronounce it?? Mock, sock, lock… talk, walk. All the same.

  77. After I quit wiping my eyes over option #3, I did get my SO to listen (he thinks we’re all weird). I’ve passed the number to even my non-knitting friends – the surprise is a stroke of genius. And I second the idea of you recording the bookbookbook. I “read” a lot these days by listening while I knit, and I’d love to re-“read” it while I work on those 22 pairs of socks.

  78. Poop! I have tried 6x and cannot get thru! Says the number I have dialed cannot go thru (in BC Canada). Anyone dare tell me what I am doing wrong? I am missing out apparently!

  79. I got your new book Saturday night and finished it last night. It is very enjoyable and entertaining. By the way, when I say “mock”, it rhymes with sock. Talk for me rhymes with stalk or balk. It’s all a matter of where you grew up and how your family talked. I was raised in the northern mountains of Alabama where we pronounce almost all words ending in “a” as if they end in “er”. For instance, my aunt Rena was always called Rener and my grandmother Dorilla is listed as Doriller on her tombstone. Just a matter of accents, long may they wave.

  80. OK, I admit that I was behind in my blog reading while getting ready for Stitches. Had I manged to make it to the end of that interminably long (but cool — I did eventually finish it!) Sept 14 entry *before* Stitches, I would have known you were going to be there and would have brought my book. And had I had the sense to stop by while you were signing, I would have noticed the self-stick signing plates and had you sign one for me. But I didn’t see one until Sunday afternoon. Pouts and grrrr all around. How could I have been so clueless?? (Same thing happened with Tara Jon Manning last year; you’d think I’d learn.)
    On a happy note, I was sitting next to Beth B-R at the banquet and she was laughing out loud during your talk — when appropriate, I mean. 🙂 You were great!

  81. Beer. Out. Of. Nose. I’m dyin’ here.
    It is September 28. I have never made a sock. I don’t have the yarn, the technique, and possibly the needles and yet … yet, I have decided that I can make a pair of dress socks for my husband and a pair of kilt socks for both my brother and my father. Because it will be “easier and cheaper” than going and getting them a gift certificate for the Book Warehouse …

  82. I’m feeling left out here in Australia. How much yarn money would it cost to call the US and listen to all the options anyway??

  83. Next time say hi to Beth….she is a truly lovely person, a great teacher, and very kind. I took a class from her at Harrisville…the list said bring red and black yarn to knit the “Red and Black North Halland Sweater.” I brought cream and blue and she still taught me (a total English style knitter with no left hand skills) how to knit two color work knitting continental style. She was incredibly patient, and even remembered to say “Using your red yarn (that’s blue for you, Barbara…”)

  84. Oh yes, Harlot, you truly are a geek (albeit in a good way). Take that from one who knits with thirteen strands of sewing thread.
    I love your hotline. Still laughing.

  85. Oh yes, Harlot, you truly are a geek (albeit in a good way). Take that from one who knits with thirteen strands of sewing thread.
    I love your hotline. Still laughing.

  86. Sorry I missed you at Stitches. Will definatley being going to Rhinebeck – at least for now I have no trips to Ontario planned. But I am glad that I got my book signed by my friends who went anyway.
    I love the surprise, I will being playing #3 for different family members. ALthough for my birthday I just got some beautiful white Alpaca from my family.

  87. Oh. My. God.
    The tears are forming, the side is aching. Thank the gods that I wasn’t drinking, as my keyboard would be toast.

  88. I just got the new book!! Well, I got it last nite, and I am nearly finished with it! It is so great!!
    And the “One Little Sock” chapter…thank you. I just went through that with my sister, and know exactly what you mean.

  89. I just found your site and am in awe… It sounds like you had a wonderful time at the Stiches NE. I think you would be a fun person to meet. I hope to learn more about you, since from the posts here it seems you have written books and maybe have a radio show? If so I would love to know more, because I can use all the help I can get! I hope the SOS line is still open… I will probably call it tonight, taking a cue from the posts, I don’t think I’ll call from work… God Bless and keep you in Yarn

  90. Freaking hilarious! I hope you don’t mind but I plan to pass the hotline to every knitter I know. Thanks for providing the support every knitter needs this time of year.
    ~ Christina

  91. Rams, you made me laugh. My grandma says “bread” as “brad”, “cold” as “code”, and “old” as “ode”. I enjoy teasing her, but the truth is I love her for it.
    Besides, karma always catches up. My 7 yr old sounds exactly like her, and I mean exactly.
    All hail diversity indeed!

  92. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Work is more hellacious than ever, and I was just thinking this week that I needed a good Hank story to get through, but then you did this. Bless you.
    p.s. I bought book#2 for myself today (for my birthday present to myself) and sat right there in the store and started reading it. When, on page 4, you start talking about the 5’x8′ afghan, I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. I started one of those, you see…. Of course you see! You make it all OK becase WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES. Thank you for who you are and everything you do.

  93. Oh my. Wonderful! How I wish I’d had access to this last year… when, as a new knitter, I began the first of FOUR hand-knit felted stockings for my children… on November 1.
    I felted them on Christmas Eve, with my 10-year-old son at my elbow, anxiously glancing at the damp and sodden stockings as I pulled them out to check their progress… “Mom! That’s enough! I don’t think they need to be any smaller, do you? They look fine like that! Really!”

  94. I know I am probably the only non-knitter on this site but I just wanted to say hi to Stephanie. She’s an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time. If anyone here sees her in the next little while can you please say hi to her for me. I don’t know how else to get in touch with her. I don’t think the e-mail I have is current.

  95. The knitting help line is a riot. Unfortunately, I was drinking coffee while I was listening, so I had to deal with the pain of snorting a hot beverage out of my nostrils.
    If you ever want to put some more options on the line, I have a suggestion: An explanation of why it is not, in fact, completely insane to spend over $50 US on a hank of hand-dyed silk blend laceweight yarn. Especially when the accuser sees no problem with spending that much on a computer game that he’ll play for about a month. This is a purely hypothetical situation, of course ;-)!

  96. Oh. My. Goodness.
    Now I have no choice but to go to Rhinebeck. I wasn’t going to (go and spend all my money / stay home and cry�hmmm what a dilemma) but now I Have To. I am going to play #3 for my muggle BF. He gets it, but since I’m a pretty new knitter, my stash is *only* taking up three of these cool totes from Container Store (http://www.containerstore.com/browse/Product.jhtml?PRODID=10013391&CATID=71230)
    (it’s the biggest one) so far plus a few bags and a box full of roving (Shunra taught me the joys of spinning)�you know. You all know.
    Sigh. Thank you.

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