Getting back up

Before I say anything else, I want to sincerely thank each and everyone of you for your comments, poems, notes and good thoughts during this hard time for us. I was overwhelmed, and hearing from so many of you did help, which frankly surprised the daylights out of me, since I thought nothing could. Instead my family and I found real comfort in the wishes from each and every one of you. Please forgive me for not replying to you all one by one, but as much as it offends me not to do so…I don’t think it’s possible without taking *thanking* on as a full time job. (I have no real problem with that, but although the emotional rewards are many, the pay is crap.)

Know that the sentiment is there and that not just me, but several of us read each and every one of them. Thank you.

It is my personal belief the the universe works best when it is in balance, and I strive in my spiritual life to achieve it. I fail miserably most of the time (too much chocolate, too much coffee, too much wool…) but I try. This loss has thrown me way out of balance, but I’ve figured out what to do. The opposite of grief is Joy, so I’ll be seeking it out as much and as often as it is possible to do so. It is autumn in Ontario. This is a reason to be joyful.

Snowflake

and I have started a new shawl for a new baby, though by the looks of things, I should knit faster…

Knitfaster

Inside: the sibling of the snowdrop. Gender unknown, birthday…sometime in the next 4 weeks. Teresa has been instructed to wait until Thursday and then fire at will.

Outside: Because the last baby from Teresa arrived as the snowdrops did in spring, her shawl was The Snowdrop Shawl. (Pattern in the sidebar) this babe will arrive as the first snow of the year flies, so a snowflake shawl it is. Pattern is…well. In my head. We shall see. At this point it is a shawl/swatch. If it works, it’s a shawl. If it doesn’t…I’m pleading swatch. My plan is to begin with simple yarn over snowflakes (I think you can see them there…) and move outward toward ever larger snowflakes. Since I haven’t made up my mind about what those are, all suggestions of snowflake type lace action are gratefully accepted.

Another source of joy is how much Teresa’s tummy and the pumpkins resemble each other. (Sorry T, but it is funny.)

The last gasp of the morning glories.

Glories

I am ashamed to admit that on bad days I sometimes count them.

(You would be surprised to learn how much joy can be gleaned from knowing exactly how many morning glory blossoms you have.)

Next, armed with a new shawl and knowing the number of my morning glories, I’m going to get on a plane, fly to MA and do the Willow Books event. There will be friends there, though my good friend Linda Roghaar is all by herself a good enough reason to go…the books are ordered, the cake is coming and after missing Rhinebeck, I could use me a big knitting party. I plan on having a marvelous time and I hope I see whole armies of you there.

The owner of Willow Books has relieved some of my guilt about missing the signings at Rhinebeck and Skaneateles by setting up something clever. If you didn’t get a book ’cause I didn’t show up (sorry again) and you still want Bookbookbook, Bookbookbook II or Knitlit 3 signed, just phone up Willow books today or tomorrow and they will take your name and information and I’ll sit down tomorrow evening and sign and personalize them all…and then Willow Books will mail them to you. Finding a way out of disappointing people makes me happy too….

Finally, an update to Knitters Without Borders is in the sidebar. For the multitude of you who comforted me with donations in Janine’s name, many extra thanks. (I promise to give away the mittens soon. I’m unreasonably attached to them.) The only way through this is to do things for others and put kindness first, and considering the richness and wealth of my own life and the life Janine left, doing good in her name is a source of joy that I won’t forget. Today, someone lives because she died.

Joy indeed.