Mike White

June 2004- October 2005.

It is with enormous regret, sadness (and some sense of repetition) that the Harlot family writes to you with the news that Mike White the dwarf hamster passed peacefully from this earth sometime last night after Joe gave him his nightly sunflower seed. He leaves behind his shelf-mate, Wanda the fish and his watcher, Millie the cat.

Mike

I must apologize for the lack of photographic material for Mike. While he was deeply loved…he was under-documented.

Mike was a good hamster and performed all of the duties of his species admirably. Cuddly and fun-loving in his early days, Mike led the life of a hamster prince…enjoying a huge cage, a pretty good looking pink running wheel and most of all…the joys of a plastic ball in which to roam the house. Mike (although he certainly lacked the brain size to know it) was also blessed in being the first hamster in this house to have never been “bowled” down the hall or stairs by a toddler while in his ball. (It was this hamster terrifying hobby exacted by numerous family toddlers that resulted in the sad but necessary hamsterless years from 1999-2002.)

During the last months of his life however, Mike withdrew from his hamster-human relationships (using fast jaws and sharp teeth), choosing only one special person with whom to have a relationship.

I’ll admit that no-one was more surprised than I was when I learned that my husband Joe was spending some time each evening after the family was in bed, visiting with Mike, talking with him and training him to hang from one paw in exchange for a sunflower seed. This took months. Months where, after his visit with Mike, Joe would slip into bed beside me and say “I got him a little closer tonight. Third rung of the cage. He’s a pretty good hamster you know.” It took so long, that if you think of it in terms of a dwarf hamsters lifetime….learning to hang from one paw for a sunflower seed may have been Mike’s life’s work …..his hamster opus.

It is only fitting then, that when Mike finally learned to do this thing, that Joe called us all into the room and showed us, beaming with pride and human-rodent friendship. Joe and Mike somehow, despite the fact that Joe is a record producer, pretty bright and human…and that Mike was, well…a hamster, despite that (which does seem like a fair bit to overcome) Mike and Joe were friends.

As Mike grew older and his hair began to turn grey, Joe worried about his friend. Mike was less willing to climb the cage for seeds, and Joe began lowering the seed a little over the weeks. Joe asked me one day if I thought that Mike minded getting old, if I thought it bothered him that he couldn’t do the things he used to… you know, run on the wheel really fast or hang by one paw.

I stared at Joe, and then I made a mistake. I pointed out that I didn’t think it bothered Mike. Not at all. Not even a little. I told him that I thought that the chances that Mike was churning with existential angst or the mysteries of the passing of time and the autumn of his lifetime were just about zip. Zero. Nada. Why? Why don’t I think that it would bother Mike? Because he had a brain the size of a LENTIL, that’s why.

Joe was crushed. He informed me that I didn’t spend enough time with Mike. That I really didn’t know Mike for the hamster that he was. That I didn’t know that not only was Mike smart (smarter than I could imagine) but that he was also charming and funny. (By funny, and I know I have mentioned this before…but by funny, Joe does not mean that he finds the hamster amusing, but that he believes that Mike has, I kid you not….a good sense of humour.)

Mike leaves behind Megan his owner, somewhat inured to the loss of hamsters (the burden of experience), Sam who was the first to notice that Mike’s wheel had gone quiet, Amanda, who at 16 probably won’t notice that he is dead for 2 weeks, me – who is happy on a practical level that Mike died before the ground froze – since I hate having to keep hamsters in the freezer until spring thaw….and his best friend Joe….

Who will actually really miss him.

Services for Mike White the Hamster will be held at the family hamster cemetery in the backyard under the locust tree today after school. Joe has requested that instead of flowers or cards, we convince that children to get pets that live a little longer.

156 thoughts on “Mike White

  1. You all have my deepest sympathy…especially Joe. It’s hard to lose someone you care for.
    What a beautifully written tribute to Mike White the hamster, and to Joe, a man above men.

  2. Was it wrong for me to laugh at your lovely eulogy? I am afraid my heart goes out to most animals that are thought of being small brained because I have been wondering lately if my 5 year old fish minds that he (she?) is getting old. All he (she?) does is sit at the bottom of the tank except at feeding time.
    However, I find it hard to imagine that you need to convince children to get bigger pets – doesn’t every child want a dog or cat?

  3. I want to feel sympathy for Mike, but I used to work in a pet store, and dwarfs are the most visious of hamster breeds. Joe must be a very special man to be able to have a friendship with one, and not loose a finger. So, to Joe! I mourn for his loss!

  4. As a dear friend said to me recently “I am so sorry. Loss just sucks.”
    Thank you for sharing your story. Seeing it so beautifully written can only increase our admiration of Joe and his generous heart. And I must admit I am experiencing a feeling of relief; my husband’s attachment to our guinea pigs seems much less troubling/more “what a kind hearted man” now.

  5. My deepest symphaty to you, and your family. I hope Joe knows how lucky he is to have Mike burried so close to home. Many of my hamster of my early years, had burrials in the city dump, thanks to my heartless mother. As for brain size, I don’t know? My head runs in the bigger size range, and I do not sound smater than the average Joe (no offense to YOUR JOE)! Oh, and Melanie, I have the sweetes dog in the world, her name is Lola, and she is not the brightest light-bulb in the pack. So a bigger animal, sometimes does not mean more brain; or so my wife tells me! I wonder what she means by that?

  6. My deepest sympathies on the loss of Mike. I’ll raise a glass in his (and Joe’s) honour tonight. I can only imagine what it will be like to lose a pet (though it’s amazing what $900 can do to help a sick cat… but I digress), especially one with whom such a deep bond has been formed.
    I have to say though, having had gerbils for years (I was never around when they passed on…), that Joe must be a man of singular determination to manage to train a hamster to hang from one paw for a sunflower seed. I wonder if he could channel his talent towards a relationship with Mr. Washie? He could start with non-shrinkables, and given time and determination, graduate to full loads. What do you think? 😉

  7. So sorry for your loss – poor Mike and poor Joe.
    Try a rat – they live a little longer, are still fairly low maintenane, and lots of fun (and mildly trainable). Just don’t get a female as they are prone to breast cancer (don’t ask me how I know this). Plus, there are few things as funny as massive rat balls.

  8. Please send my family’s condolences to Joe and may the memories of Mike and his wicked sense of humor keep you.
    rip, Mike.

  9. Awwww . . . my sympathies to your family! I remember when my cousins lost their first hamster, a lovely golden hamster named Professor, or Prof for short. She was such an elegant little thing . . . *sniff* . . . I still miss her . . .
    I hear chinchillas can live up to 5 years (if I remember correctly), or longer. They’re also REEEEEEALLLLY soft and jump awfully high. When they’re sleeping, they look quite majestic and peaceful, almost Buddha-esque. Hence why, if I had a chinchilla, I would name him Buddha, possibly at the risk of being disowned by my parents for such sacrilege. Heh.

  10. Parrots live practically FOREVER and LOVE human interaction and are VERY smart. They love to play and you could teach it to say “find a different hair tie”…

  11. My youngest sister always complained about being “under-documented”, just like Mike was. We do have a couple of well-focused photos of her, however, and they are very special.
    Condolences to Joe on the loss of his pal.

  12. A moment of silence for Mike.
    Just remember that the problem with pets that live longer is that at some point your kids will grow up and (hopefully?) move out of the house, and that you will still have to clean the cage/messes. I’m just sayin’.

  13. Sorry for your loss, and for Joe’s. Just because Mike was a little guy doesn’t mean it was a little loss.
    It’s true, dogs and cats live longer, but so do sheep, goats and rabbits. If you can’t have livestock where you live, I bet you could get a lovely angora rabbit to spin from, I mean love.

  14. So sorry for your loss. Any furry friends are hard to part with because they become such a special part of the family. My heart and thoughts, along with my cats’ thoughts, are with you all in this sad time.

  15. Remembering what he was, with comfort then
    May pattern out one truly good, by him.
    For he was truly good, if honest care
    Of harmless conversation may commend
    A life free from such stains as follies are,
    Ill recompensed only in his end.
    Nor can the tongue of him who loved him least (If there can be minority of love
    To one superlative above the rest
    Of many men in steady faith) reprove
    His constant temper, in the equal weight
    Of thankfulness and kindness: Truth doth leave
    Sufficient proof, he was in every right
    As kind to give, as thankful to receive.

  16. Farewell to Mike.
    I had many hamsters in my childhood, and I certainly grieved at each of their passings. My hamsters are buried throughout my home town. Each in their own little glass jar, wrapped in tissue paper.
    I now have guinea pigs, which I am fostering from the Toronto Humane Society. A bit bigger, and they live quite a bit longer. They are cute, can learn simple tricks and don’t bite. They interact with you by making noise. Again, cute. Will eat vegetables that your children don’t like.

  17. Poor Mike, poor Joe.
    Just don’t get a turtle, or you have to take care of it for 70 years or so. Medium-lived, I think, is good.

  18. Awwww…my condolences to you and your family. At the store where I work our best selling greetings card is the one for “loss of a pet”.
    It took my teens a while to notice that “their” gerbil had passed on and I had thrown out the cage. They were still saving toilet paper rolls for him until I pointed out why this was no longer necessary.

  19. I second the nomination of a rat as a next pet. They are very nice people, almost dog-like.
    While I sympathise with Rachel’s loss, my rats were females because if there is any, ahem, noticeable delay in cage-cleaning a female rodent’s cage will remain more pleasant to the nose for longer than a male’s!
    And since it’s Joe we’re shopping for (really) ya gotta admit that a rat is more of a man’s rodent than a hamster.

  20. Aw. Poor Joe. I can’t bear to think about losing one of my fuzzy roomies, and the thought of going to bed without them being there to tell goodnight makes me teary. Hug him for me too.

  21. Hats off, Harlot. I laughed, I wept (truly). This shall surely come to figure as a seminal piece in the genre encompassing Writings on the Loss of Small Rodents.
    My sympathy to all, especially Joe.
    I’ll have to say though, I’m with Cerridwen in my personal experience with dwarf hamsters. In my veterinary practice, I have yet to meet one that didn’t bite me. The last one actually rushed at me as I opened it’s cage, tiny teeth bared in an expression of lilliputian rage.
    I’m sure that Mike was nothing like that.

  22. Condolences to Joe and the family. Rabbits live longer than hamsters (perhaps a nice angora?) as do sheep (maybe now’s the time to try to pass off one of those mini sheep as a rare baa-ing dog?). My daughters are currently lobbying for a llama or a horse since we see them all around here, “and besides mom, you had a horse when you were my age”. To which I reply, “and I convinced my dad to get me the horse. Talk to yours.” So far that has worked. (‘Tho that black and white pinto down the road is very pretty…)

  23. Ah yes, the hamster ball. I will never forget the time my youngest kicked the hamster ball like a soccer ball. As it went sailing through the air, the poor hamster never stood a chance as he rolled with the ball. He was reluctant to get back into the ball for a short while after the incident.
    What a good life he must have led. Hats off to Mike the Hmaster.

  24. Hamsters are the sweetest of little creatures. Some will always bite & some will sit in one’s pocket for mins on end (long time for a little hammy). There is a little hammy graveyard in our backyard where our family lays at rest (two goldens, four dwarfs). Later this year we’ll go back to the humane society for more. Even tho they live short lives, they bring much love. Condolences.

  25. I can’t believe I’m about to defend the brainpower of hamsterkind…
    I used to be a student of Behavioural Neuroscience and my professors would proclaim that each animal is created with the perfect brain for its species (let’s see you flee from an overhead predator or find a hidden cache of seeds, hmmmmm?). And, if you work the math, a rodent’s brain to body mass ratio is not too far off a human’s.
    I think I should shut up before I prove beyond any doubt what a complete nerd I am 🙂
    Condolences to Joe.

  26. Having also worked in pet stores (like Cerridwen above) I found that most hamsters are quite vicious and Joe is truly a special person to have befriended Mike. As for a longer living pet, a nice angora rabbit would be sweet, I have never been bitten by a rabbit, and would provide spinning material, too!

  27. Poor Joe. Maybe THE GANSEY would make him feel better.
    On a practical note, did you know you can get two free CFL ( compact flourescent – not CdnFootball League) lightbulbs at Home Depot? The tour isn’t over yet..just sayin’

  28. Poor Mike. Poor Joe.
    Better days ahead for both…
    BTW – Added to personal lexicon: hamster opus. (I know exactly who I will describe using this phrase.)

  29. My deepest sympathies to your family, especially Mike’s dearest friend Joe. I too had hamsters growing up (largest one-time total pet tally was 2 dogs, 5 cats, 8 hamsters and 14 fish. One of the little hamsters was apparently pregnant when we brought her home), tho never the fun of the hamster ball (see aforementioned dog and cat tally) and while never developing quite the same, er, relationship with mine as Joe did with Mike, I did appreciate their generally docile softness an cuteness.
    I’m with the people who nominate an angora bunny for the next Harlot Household pet.

  30. You brought back a flood of memories today. About 10 years ago I had a mild breakdown. I had had all I could take. When my beloved hamster Church passed, whom I had loving cared for everyday for nearly 4 years(this was waaaaay before my kids were born), I cried like a baby. When my husband took me to the doctor, she asked me if anything in particular had recently upset me. My husband honestly replied (in a moment that reminded me why I loved him) that my hamster had just died. At first I felt really silly when I heard him say that, especially at 22 years of age, but then he added, “they were really close.” And he was right, because we were.
    Long story short-I totally get where Joe is coming from. It sucks to lose a friend, human or hamster.

  31. Poor Joe. It must have been very difficult for him…
    For your next pet, try a Great Dane. The chances of bowling one of those down the hallway in a plastic ball are practically zero, and Joe could indulge his need to continue the balancing-from-one-paw tradition–I hear they do a mean foxtrot….

  32. Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery, if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just Tribute to the Memory of Mike White, a Hamster.
    — paraphrased from John Cam Hobhouse

  33. Hahahaha my boss’s name is Michael (Mike) White! This post freaked me out a little bit.
    Poor Mike, poor Joe! 🙁 He looks just like Simon, a hamster I had in high school (along with Alvin and Theodore, of course). My condolences.

  34. Please accept my sympathies for the loss of your family member.
    As pet “owners”, we are their caretakers. We feed them, house them and clean up after them. Their great contribution to our lives is to give us unconditional love. It is a worthy life.

  35. Ah Stephanie- Now I know I am not the only one to have a rodent (in this case a guinea pig) in the freezer waiting for the ground to thaw. It is hard losing a pet no matter how big or small. A touching tribute…

  36. Stephanie-
    You are at your best when you walk us through poignant moments of life with just the right mix of melancholy and madness.
    Brain the size of a lentil…priceless.
    Pardon me while I wipe away a tear, while simultaneously sponging the splashed coffee from my macscreen.
    write on, dear one.

  37. That was a very sweet tribute. But I still laughed. As penance for my insensitivity, I have a Siberian Dwarf Hamster that I would be willing to send to Joe to be his new, special friend. His name is Hannibal.

  38. This afternoon, as we bury Goldie the Goldfish, we shall say a little prayer for Mike the Hamster as well.
    May both our lost pets RIP.
    And I think Joe probably needs a new hamster 🙂

  39. I’ve got two lovely Chinese Fire Bellied Toads that purportedly have a life span of 12 years that I will gladly send to fill Joe’s void.
    I’ll pay for the transport from beautiful Vancouver to TO. Heck, I’ll even spring for a gross of crickets to keep those toads well fed.

  40. I’m sorry about the hampster.
    Hey, did you read that the portion of the knitting needles/terrorist post got picked up by USA Today? I hope that this man (whoever he is) reads it and reconizes himself.

  41. Oh my Gosh, that was so sad. Got a teddy bear hampster for my son years ago, named it kwidgyboo( from the simpsons)my son lost interest in a week or two. My husband took pics and trained the hampster to sit in his shirt pocket for a treat. I know who was upset in my house when that one died two years later. Sad, sad, sad, We eventually got another one called Miss Piggy and the last one called Homer. condolences from us to your husband. they are really adorable.

  42. After going through several hamsters (with the holes in the wall to prove it – necessary for hamster extraction from tight quarters) and a rabbit, I have come to the conclusion that you don’t have any house pets which require cages. That just eliminates a lot of trouble I don’t want to deal with. It has worked well here for a while. You might consider it. Betsy in Saramento

  43. My condolences to Joe and Megan for the loss of your beloved hamster. Maybe another hamster will help ease the pain.

  44. I am so sorry for your family’s loss — especially for Joe, who by the sound of it lost a very good friend. Our hamster escaped almost two weeks ago, and stayed missing for five days … I was surprised to discover how much I missed her. Amazing how those little rodents can burrow into your heart.

  45. Awwww, poor Joe. It’s always the Hubby’s with hamsters isn’t it…strange.
    Still, we are happy that Mike can now rest easy and play on that great golden hamster wheel in the sky.

  46. Hamsters are cuter than other rodents, to me, anyway. Their faces and feet are just right, they have no long bald hideous tail–I loved my hamsters when I was a kid. And when they passed, we buried them at the foot of a tree in the woods out back, over by the wild Jack-in-the-Pulpits (a flower, not some rabid preacher to drone into the eternities at them.)
    Rest well, Mike. My condolences, especially to Joe.

  47. Sympathies to Joe about the hamster.
    How did Mike White get his name?
    (I am also laughing a bit about the lentil-brain thing. Once I was making a disparaging comment about mourning doves, particularly the way they act so silly. My friend said, well, what do you expect? Look how tiny their heads are!)

  48. One should not read a tribute to the life of a well-loved hamster while at work. I’m worried that my coworkers will catch me crying in my office.
    Farewell sweet Mike.

  49. Stephanie,
    I truly sympathize with your families pain. In my parents backyard is a small shrine with 8 tiny crosses denoting the burial sites for Speedy the Gerbils #1 – #8.

  50. tears to my eyes and prayer beads to my hands for Mike the White and all his left behind friends. friends are friends no matter what…

  51. My gosh, Joe is so sweet. Give him a hug for us.
    Bye Mr. White- it sounds like you had a long and happy life!

  52. Another rivet in the literary construct which is Joe, my favorite fictional character. People have already posted eloquent and moving tributes; maybe at this point we’re ready to move on to the raucous after-service part of the proceedings. Since Joe’s a Newfie, Great Big Sea would seem the appropriate house band, and if we substitute “Mike the Hamster for “Paddy Murphy” we should be set. Ready, now?
    http://www.greatbigsea.com/themusic/roadrage.cfm
    “That’s how we showed our respect for Mike the Hamster,
    That’s how we showed our honor and our pride…”

  53. Ah, Mike, we hardly knew ye…
    May his little hamster heart always dance with the daffodils…

  54. Cry, laugh, cry, cry, laugh… Between the post and the comments, what a rollercoaster ride this has been! I’m very sorry for the loss of Mike as well. Nevertheless, I think Rams has the right idea at this point…

  55. My dear friend just had to put her 21-year-old cat to sleep. She (my friend) was 8 years old when she got the kitten, so you can imagine how distressing this is for her. Point being, I’m not sure if a pet living longer makes it easier or harder…
    …also, we talked today about how there is value in each of these little pet lives, and how they help us open our own hearts, which is in itself a worthy thing.
    Joe is a good man. May his good heart inspire all of us who read this to become more gentle and kind as well.

  56. Steph hugs to you all:-(
    i too have had many a hamster.. sadly ours all died way too young and of terrible tumors.. so i’m glad that Joe got to have the time with Mike and great memories.. hugs karola

  57. Oh dear. I am sorry. It is hard to lose a fur friend….. even a small one with a brain the size of a lentil.
    I had a very nice Viking funeral for my guinea pig in college – burning shoebox and all. In what I later found out was the town water supply and not just a pastoral pond. Live and learn, I guess.

  58. My eyes are wet from reading the post as well as all the above comments – and I’ve never owned a hamster!
    It was rebecca’s paraphrasing of John Cam Hobhouse that finally did it. We have a nearly 15 year old dog who is not well.
    But I’m still wondering, why is a hamster body in the freezer less acceptable than yarn?
    Perhaps Joe is correct when he said you didn’t know Mike for the smart, charming and funny hamster-self that he was.
    What criteria does your yarn have to pass in order to be accepted into the freezer?

  59. Oh, I’m so sorry.
    On an unrelated note, what happened to the 800 number? I just called and it did not like me. Or my roommate. (Hey, it’s Friday afternoon and we’re bored at work.)

  60. Rams!! “Paddy Murphy”, one of the favorites in our house (my children are 7 & 4 and know the lyrics-is that wrong?), is now running through my mind. Tonight when we sing it at bedtime we will be sure to sub “Mike the Hamster” for Paddy.
    Rams, you grow on me more and more with every comment.

  61. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure he led a full life. I personally owe him a great deal. I confess I’ve been lurking in your blog for a while now and this is my first post… If not for Mike I may have never said hello. Hello.
    ~Jody

  62. RIP Mike, and keep your chin up, Joe. It’s a special person that can feel affection for small furry creatures. My soon-to-be 73-year-old mother adopted my three guinea pigs when it became apparent that I traveled too much to be a good caretaker for them, and now she dotes on them. Dreams about them, too. They are definitely little individuals, not just insensate balls of hair.

  63. Thank you for that moving tribute to Mike White the hamster. You brought back memories of my Siggy (short for Sigmund Freud, whom I liberated from my elder brother). Siggy used to run around on the desk while I did my homework. He especially liked the accounting stuff. Siggy also fended off the cat Sara Jane who was accidentally shut into the bedroom with him for a weekend — strangely enough, the cat was quite spooked and never did come back into the room. And then there was the time that Siggy got loose from his cage — not to be seen for 2 weeks. And then he scared my mom by popping out of a laundry basket at her. What a hamster. Joe’s right — they do have a sense of humour! Hugs for Joe and Megan for their loss.

  64. So sorry to hear your sad news. Poor Joe.
    Hammy, our hamster (who would have guessed?) passed away a couple of years ago. The funeral was in our herb garden, and her remains were burried near the ashes of her dear friend Bugle the Beagle. Losing a pet can be a challenge, but loving one pet always makes room for loving another pet.
    Ralph, Bugle’s replacement, makes it unwise to replace Hammy. He was far too interested in putting the hamster in the “dark wet place.” Enough said.

  65. LOL
    Hamster Opus!!
    That almost cost me a new keyboard.
    Our cat’s brain is the size of a ping pong ball (I’m guessing – don’t quote me)that’s a bit bigger than a lentil, but not much, and he has a personality. Not much of a sense of humour, but that’s just the type of cat he is.
    Perhaps Joe and Mike were relating on a spiritual level.
    Fare thee well, Mike.

  66. So sorry the hear that, we too have a hamster that is comming up to the 2 year mark for general life expectancy and we also were blessed with a “good” one, nibbles is a teddy bear but very friendly and we also play on the bed with her and have games we do with her so I am glad to see we are not the only people who think they are great ( others think we are freaks)
    Maybe Joe should get a cat ( longer life span)

  67. My deepest sympathies to you and your family (Joe) in this time of tragic loss. It sounds like Mike had a full, hamsterish life–how many hamsters get to brag in heaven that they had learned to climb their cage for a sunflower seed? You will all be in our prayers at this difficult time.

  68. Oh, poor Joe. I can understand. I promise you that how ever lacking in intelligence you found Mike to be, my goldfish are even more stupid. Particularly Ilsa. She takes the cake. She’s hungry, and her eyes DO work, but she still can’t figure out how to actually EAT her food. And it isn’t from lack of trying.
    Anyway, go with BIRDS. They live a long time, are legitimately intelligent, quite delightful, and are affectionate and responsive. Plus, they can be taught to do a variety of tricks, which should amuse and please your dear Joe to no end.
    Best wishes for you.

  69. Poor Joe.
    I have to admit I laughed a bit more than perhaps seemly at your eulogy. I have informed the husband that any rodentia entering the house will be set free. My husband has a PhD which means that he is very smart indeed, however, it also means a divorcement from reality resulting in a husband who is less trainable than most of the species. The dog’s brain is perhaps smaller than Mike’s given that she has eaten a safety razor (with no ill effects) and other oddments. These factors make me a bit reluctant to adopt anything else into the family that can’t cook its own dinner…

  70. instead of sending flowers and cards should we send wool?..and will you be lying the poor hamster on a fluffy ball of kidsilk maybe? I’m not a big fan of ro-dents but I do feel bad for Joe,after all that hard work it would have been just so much more exciting if he had of knitted a pair of socks ;0)

  71. farewell, Mike, you will be missed by those who loved you.
    Please say hello to Frances, my red siberian hamster who just passed this Tuesday, and was buried in our backyard with a full stash of almonds and seeds for her journey.
    As handsome as you are, I am sure she would love to share her stash with you, should you need any companionship.

  72. Ohhhh, I had a few hamsters when I was little, and loved them all dearly. Losing pets is hard- even more so now that I’m actually responsible for them- you always wonder if you did everything for them you could and if they were happy. Sounds like Joe made Mike White a very happy little hamster. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  73. Bartles the cat expresses his deepest sympathy at teh passing of Mike White the dwarf hamster. May he have a happy home in hamster heaven.

  74. I feel the same way about Joe with regards to pets and I know how it is to lose a beloved. That was a beautiful tribute to Mike, you are an absolute peach for writing it, and I am so, so sad for Joe. It’s rough to lose a friend, no matter how tiny. Rest in peace little guy.

  75. A beautiful eulogy.
    I fear I may have to write one in the next year or so… Merlin, the guinea pig, is living a riskier life these days. Last night he stayed out til midnight!
    I was releived that we found him hiding in the bushes out front.
    I was more relieved that he was alive and squealing. (I’ll post the story on the blog soon.
    Meanwhile.. You are a wonderful mum, to eulogize the pets, and bury them in the yarn.
    Give Joe my sympathies. I remember losing Persephone. She too was a friend (though not a dwarf hamster — a chocolate colored teddy bear hamster as I recall). She got me through my first year of college. It was hard to say goodbye. I didn’t do it as well as you did.

  76. Your Joe sounds like such a dear, sweet man. Condolences to you all (especially Joe). Rest well, Mike White.

  77. My condolences to Joe. Losing a hamster Can be hard. Especially if you have bonded, loved, and taken the time to teach tricks. May dear hamster rest in peace.
    (Daughter, 7 years, recently lost Meg, the teddy bear hamster. If anyone finds her please let me know as I am living in fear of the thing rotting and soon to surprise me somewhere in my house.)

  78. BTW we recently got a pair of dwarf hamsters to replace dearly departed Med (the little escape artist..) Dwarf hamsters live together wonderfully if you get females from the same litter. Something for Joe to think about and please, we want to see VIDEO of the trained tricks!

  79. A toast to Mike, and three cheers for Joe, for he is a jolly good fellow which nobody can deny. Well, maybe not so jolly but certainly a good fellow. Hope the girlies are doing all right too.

  80. Amy, not to worry: we lost one and found it a YEAR later when it ran across my brother’s face in the middle of the night and woke him up. (Lentil brain time…) It had gotten into and squirrelled away a goodly portion of a 25-lb bag of birdseed the folks had bought, and for water, there was a leaky pipe behind the bathroom wall. It lived well.
    And then it was, hamster ball time for you, furball.

  81. Ah Mike. He’s gone to a better place and who knows, he may meet up with Hamish the Intrepid – renowned hamster of my husband’s childhood who survived the cat who used to lie on top of his cage, survived the 3 weeks living free in the central heating system (paws slightly singed but otherwise fine), only to turn up his hamster toes the VERY MORNING he was due to be taken into school for show and tell.
    Clearly the thought of 30 eight year olds was more than a hamster could bear …. put Alan off hamsters for life though. Boy, he was pissed off with him for being so inconsiderate as to die on him – still is truth be told. ;0)

  82. I’m picturing Mike in hammy heaven telling his pals about the guy who was so sadistic that he made him hang from one paw for a lousy sunflower seed.
    Seriously, please take comfort in the fact that everyone here mourns the loss of Joe’s bud and we all agree that Joe would recover much faster if he had THE GANSEY to wrap his sorrows in.
    Kathy

  83. Have you ever read about the Rainbow Bridge? To paraphrase, it’s where pets wait until their owners cross as well. Lots of toys & food & sunshine & company. But when the familiar footsteps sound as they walk over the bridge, the pets are reunited with those that they love.
    I can’t remember where I saw it on the web, but if you do a search you should be able to find it.
    Sending you my love and thoughts,
    jillann

  84. that is so sweet that your husband was so close to little mike. bless mike’s little heart – he IS in hamster heaven. =)
    p.s. thanks for visiting my blog! i haven’t finished your 2nd book in its entirety, but that’s because i had to stop reading for awhile – i was at a public bookstore and had to keep myself from laughing aloud as i was reading. my husband kept telling me to quiet it down hehe. you are a terrific writer! =)

  85. My sincerest condolences to Joe and the rest of your family for your loss. Mike seemed like a very special hamster. I’m certain he will be missed.
    Lisa-Marie

  86. RIP, Mike White. But he lived a good life and should be happy he never resided in NB where IRVING (anybody see their latest tv commercials?) has the equivalent of child labour for hamsters!

  87. My condolences to you and yours on the loss of Mike. My rowdy “boy house,” trends more towards bigger critters (read that labrador retrievers), but the loss of a pet can be crushing. We lost two dogs last year, Mom (Gert) and Son (Harley. We still have one of Gert’s daughters (Rosie), but sometimes I look at Rosie and see her mother in her eyes. It still hurts. But two new boys, half-brothers Otto and Jack, do dull the pain a bit, and make leaving shoes laying around the house a bit dicey.
    Started bookbookbook2 today. What a hoot Stephanie!! The chapter on socks almost made me tear up. I nearly have a pair of socks done for my husband – they have been sitting on my nightstand for a week waiting for me to run in the ends. Hubby left for a trip yesterday and seemed a little disappointed that I didn’t get them done in time for him to take with him. Wasn’t that sweet of him? Of course, he still owes me a trip to a spa. Three out of town trips in one month and only ONE of those a business trip…….the man owes me a long weekend at a sunny spa locale (hopefully near some really spiffy yarn shops and bookstores!) But the advantage of him being gone is that I get more time for knitting and reading and reading about knitting!! Thanks for the laughs Harlot!

  88. Stephanie, I don’t understand why you think “existential angst” occurs only in big brains. That’s the problem with humans, they think they’re just so special, even when their hearts dry up to the size of…of…of a lentil. Don’t think I’ve forgotten your attitude about that fish you guys used to have. Sometimes I wish it were Joe that knit. Is HE funny?

  89. Can I get a cookie, or at least a dixie cup of water, for scrolling through 118 messages just to post this? (pant pant)
    Hi. My name’s Alissa. I like to read you because you’re funny, and you’re a knitter. I have your book, but I left it at a friend’s house and their bunny ate it. Dang. Anyway, I linked to you from my site so I could remember to come over and read you every once in a while. I just wanted you to know, so you wouldn’t think I was some weird knitting stalker. Thanks.

  90. Poor Joe. Poor Harlot and and poor Harlot’s family. Losing a pet (even a little dwarf hamster) has to be difficult. My experience is limited to dogs and cats, but I am sure a tiny hamster still creates big sorrow.

  91. Our deepest sympathies to you and your family on the loss of your pet. Our last hamster was, umm, ‘ingested’ by one of our cats.
    On the subject of winter deaths of pets, our friend, Michelle, has a friend who called her one day to say she was moving. Michelle wished her the best of luck. The friend said, “But I don’t know what I’m going to do about Lightning (a German Shepherd that had died two years before) and Shadow (a cat that had died shortly thereafter)”
    Michelle said, “Well, you know, you can have a little ceremony at their graves and tell them good-bye, but there’s not much else you can do.”
    Her friend whispered, “But Michelle, they’re in the FREEZER!”
    The ground was frozen when they died so she’d put them in the freezer to wait for a thaw, and it just never seemed to be the right time to get it done.
    Michelle hasn’t heard from the friend since, so we don’t know what became of Lighting and Shadow…
    Yikes!

  92. Poor Joe. I sympathize for his loss. Being primary caretaker od one mutant teddy bear hamster, Yes I think Hamster can be funny. (Ours has a wonderful, “I meant to do that” look.) But yes, for Joe’s sake, PLEASE let the next pet have a longer life span.

  93. Do hamsters go to Rainbow Bridge? I’m sure there is a section there with mega hamster dream toys..Mike White…what a sophisticated name..I know he was loved….and no matter what type of pet- they fill our hearts and I just know we fill their little heart, too 🙂 I’m sorry for your loss.

  94. Am I the only one that’s creeped out by the thought of pet corpses in the family freezer? Never having lived in the northern climes, this is a quandary that had never occured to me. Another reason to be glad I’m a southerner ;~)
    May I add my vote for the angora bunny?
    RIP little Mike

  95. I’m with tree….Shall we all lift our glasses (of Screech or equivalent) in silent tribute to Mike? I come from Irish folks and my family always sends off our loved ones into that good night with a wee toast.

  96. Animals do communicate, and if Joe knew that Mike had a sense of humor, then Joe is sensitive and loving, and he understood Mike. Do a Google search for “animal communications,” and you’ll see plenty of people who do this work. If one can get past the idea that the whole “pet psychic” thing is absurd (which I admit is a huge leap for most people), and hires a communicator, you will find that there is a whole lot more to the life of animals than most people realize. In addition, anyone can communicate, and anyone who takes a seminar in communication has a whole new world that opens.

  97. Our family including our own dwarf hampsters,Spaz (left) and Flower (right), want to extend our deepest sympathies on the passing of Mike White.
    Losing a pet is never easy.
    Carrie, Debbie, Robyn, Spaz, and Flower

  98. so sorry to hear of your loss.
    i have a ferret and they are only supposed to live 6 yrs and she is now 3 she will be 4 in January.
    And when she does finally pass I will miss her greatly.
    I am hoping that because we play with her take her to the vet and all that – she will live a little longer. I want my daughter to know what a ferret is and know how to handle them.
    -hugs to Joe –

  99. It sounds to me like Mike, in comparison with your average hamster, led a very full life indeed. So many of them never get past the “Hey, look at this cool wheel!” stage.
    (His affinity for wheel-related activities suggests that you and Mike did have something in common, after all.)
    It is a pity that he didn’t live long enough to perform his act for David Letterman. Who knows but that he might have gone on to the same level of fame in the States that you’re enjoying.
    So long, Mike, and Godspeed.

  100. As a hamster lover, my sincere condolences to Joe. They may be little, but I have found hamsters to be sweet, endearing pets. After the pain of losing Mike White has dulled, you may find that Joe gets himself his own small fuzzy friend.

  101. Oh ye gods!
    Thanks Stephanie. I finally, finally, finally got the English department to stop teaching Flowers for Algernon. Today was the first day of our new novel. Students who ahve taken the course before (or up to four times before), began to whine that at least they KNEW Algernon. In return, I swore that that was the last I was ever going to read about the sympathy between a man and a white rodent with…get this…a brain the size of a lentil.
    Sooooo…..way to prove me a liar.
    On the plus side, you’re funnier than Keyes ever was.

  102. My mom is still missing a mouse named Ishmael, who died in in 1965, I think. He was a good mouse. Mike and Joe were lucky to have had each other.
    As I recall Joe had a lot of trouble losing your earlier Betta. Rats, though frighteningly more ‘there’ than mice or hamsters, only live for maybe three years, though they can be delightful. Perhaps you should get him a parrot.

  103. My deepest sympathy to you and yours.
    I was just wondering if your latest blog silence is due to mourning, or because Rhinebeck is just a few days away and you need 2 new sweaters, 4 shawls and 8 new socks to wear?
    Kathleen

  104. What an unkind thought. Obviously it’s because Tuesdays Are For Spinning.
    Absolutely.
    Not that we’re all waiting out here.
    or anything.

  105. Must be one heckuva hair-tie crisis goin’ on thar a’ the ol’ Harlot homestead…
    or something.
    Corset cursin’, maybe?

  106. Not like anyone doubted your taste in men or anything, Stephanie, but I can certainly see why you love your Joe. 🙂

  107. I feel nothing but the utmost sympathy for Joe in the loss of Mike. We had a cat named Shadow that died and went to kitty heaven in mid 1997 and we still miss and mourn him.
    I too have a male syberian dwarf named Max. How long is an average life span? My Max has recently gotten very vocal.

  108. So sorry to hear of Mike’s passing.
    I just bought your newest book this past weekend, and of course, it is wonderful. I was truly touched by “One Little Sock.” Thank you for sharing your stories with us.
    W. 🙂

  109. May my family know the same hamster-human bonds that Joe and Mike shared. My sympathies to the bereaved. Our hamster, Strawberry, sends her support at this time.

  110. … could it be that to comfort Joe in his time of loss, our Harlot is devoting herself tirelessly to spinning for the dear man’s Gansey, and can’t come to the blog right now?

  111. Oh Stephanie, you made me laugh out loud with your comment about hamsters in the freezer until spring thaw! We had a big fat guinea pig who died in late December one year. In about February, my step-mother’s younger brother came over to baby sit and we got hungry. We went down to the basement to see what was available to snack on and he pulled out the large-solid-rolled-up-towel.
    “What’s this?” “Oh that’s Patches.” He blanched and I thought he was going to throw up!! Now, I laugh just thinking about it! Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

  112. We have had a house full of cats, dogs, bunnies, fish, gerbils and of all of them, the very best pet was a darling old hamster (we inherited her from our son’s class when no one else would take her) named Gadget. We all like her but my husband, Dave, bonded just as Joe did. So it isn’t all that unusual. Gadget like to ride around with Dave in the pouch of his sweatshirt, sit on his shoulder while he watch TV, and, yes, come to the cage for a special pumpkin seed treat. He couldn’t bring himself to get another hamster because there would never be one as wonderful as Gadget. Our deepest sympathies.
    On a happier note, I have been enjoying reading of your travels but when, oh when, are you ever coming to the Belleville/Kingston area?

  113. I know you mentioned a while back (or at least I *think* you did) that you’re going to be at the Creative Sewing & Needlework Festival in Toronto this weekend.
    PLEASE tell me you’ll be there Sunday! I was all excited about finally meeting the Harlot in person, and then my lovely boyfriend pointed out that you might not be spending your *entire* weekend there, given that you do have other things to do in life besides meeting me (and autographing my bookbookbook and bookbookbook2). So…now I’m worrying! 🙂 *fingers tightly crossed*

  114. Awww. We lost our dwarf hamster Honeypie a few weeks ago. She was truely the gold standard for hamsters. She NEVER bit a single soul in her whole life, she was friendly even to very small hands. She was smart – she came when you called her and loved to be held. Honeypie was an apt name for her. She is survived by her “sister” teddy bear hamster Snugglebear who is, unfortunately, a horrible beast with none of Honeypie’s sterling qualities. Sigh.
    Honeypie belonged to my 8 year old son who was devastated. He said he never wanted to get another pet because he was afraid they would just die. A few days ago he said he would like to get a rat and name it Gus. Progress!!
    I second the endorsment above of rats as pets. They are super smart. And very sweet. But I have only had female pets because rat balls are really horrendous.

  115. May I recommend a degu? They look like a gerbil, but act like a squirrel and live a good 5-10 years. My co-worker loves hers to bits and shows off its picture all the time.

  116. I am sorry for your loss, as I am a devoted multi-pet owner and sympathize deeply. Did you name the wee hamster after the former mayor of Cleveland? I noticed a similarity in size/looks.

  117. Get a rat, most definitely. They may not be longer-lived, necessarily, but they are much more animated, and much more fun to play with.
    I agree that a female rat is best. We have had several, and there is a definite difference between the smell of a male rat’s cage and the smell of a female rat’s cage.

  118. Hello,
    I just lost my precious hammie two days ago, and the grief is devastating. I am so sorry that I listened to the vet. Hamelee had an infected uterus, and the vet recommended hysterectomy. Vet told me that she would eventually die from the infection, that antibiotics could not fix the problem. We put her on 3 antibiotics anyway, for the little help that it could provide for a few days, and she was doing a lot better. Then she had her surgery. They gave her back to me that same afternoon. She was still knocked out. So, she had not had anything to drink since that morning, about 8 hours. They told me to take her home and give her pain medication when she awoke. She was in so much horrible pain, she grunted. I held her and talked to her, but I thought she would wake up soon. She stuck her precious little hand up in the air, and I held it. She stuck her little back leg out, stretching, and I gave her something to press against, my finger. I talked to her. Then she seemed to be asleep. I put her in her cage to rest while I went and did a little work. About 20 minutes later, I looked at her, and she was not breathing anymore. but she was still warm. I tried, oh I tried to rouse her. I pushed her little chest. I couldn’t believe it. I was hysterical, and at the same time, I had to see if I could rouse her. She never moved, except, her little precious hand closed. I went to pieces. I put her back in her cage, and I cried so hard, my chest ached. I prayed outloud. I loved her so, I begged God to please don’t let her die. I looked back at her, and she was ever so still, motionless. There was nothing I could do. I cried uncontrollably; I hollered her name, trying, in my mind, to call her back. I lost it. For several hours, I was in trauma. I remember little, just that I was in extreme emotional pain. I went back and looked at her again, and rigamortis had set in. Now, there was no doubt, at all. My precious hammie, my Hammelee was gone from me.
    Her little fur was still soft, as always, though. Her little eyes were closed. Her mouth was barely parted. I stayed up and worked all night. At 5:00 a.m., I went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I knew I had to get a grip. Like some of you have said, this is not something you can expect to receive sympathy for among people in general.
    Today is Sunday. Tears still track down my face and dry into hard, salty lines. I keep thinking that I am not going to bring her back by grieving. She was not even TWO YEARS OLD!!!!! My little ham didn’t even get two years!!! I think that the vet shouldn’t have let me take her home because she was not able to drink water, and her pain could not be managed. My poor, poor, my precious . . . my little Ham.
    Sad in Tennessee

  119. Okay…
    We don’t do hamsters–our one hamster, Hamtaro, spent one night in his cage before my daughter lost him… we figured that for a bad omen and have stuck to fancy mice and rats instead… this was written about five years ago for our first dead fancy mouse, Bubbles… I thought it might help. Or amuse. (Emmet & Sad Jaynie were both cats…)
    Oh, sing a song for bubbles,
    Brave mouse, wee sleekit beastie,
    Sing a song for Bubbles,
    Whom Emmit went and wastied
    Sing a song for Bubbles,
    Who thought Emmit was a friend,
    Sing a song for Bubbles,
    This morning was the end.
    The days are over for her
    To bring us mousie joy,
    When we awoke this morning,
    She was a kitty toy,
    A small carcass on the carpet
    That dad snuck into the trash
    Oh let’s lament for Bubbles
    Who’s little bod was mashed.
    Sing a song for Bubbles,
    Her mistress misses her sore
    Sing a song for Bubbles
    Who will escape no more
    Sing a song for Bubbles
    Who will squeak no more today
    Give comfort to her sister Blossom–
    A Buttercup’s on the way.
    We thought Emmet was all bluster,
    All pussy play and bluff,
    But Emmet went and mussed her,
    He must be tough enough.
    The dog chewed up the doorways
    To Bubble’s mousie lair
    And Sad Jaynie pulled away the rags
    That we had stuffed in there.
    The cats’ home entertainment center
    Had become an interactive
    And Bubble’s days were numbered,
    We knew she wouldn’t live.
    So the mouse escaped, as mousie’s do,
    And Emmet played as cats will too,
    And this morning we all stumbled
    Into the room, all cold with dread
    And small and floppy on the floor,
    Lay Bubble’s, gross and dead.
    So Sing a song for Bubbles
    Who has squeaked her final squeak
    And all thank God for fancy mice,
    We buy a new one next week:-)

  120. I laughed til I cried, reading your lovely, touching and funny tribute! I’m sure Mike was a prince among hamsters, but that husband of yours is a real gem.
    A little twist(from my own family archive) on small critters in the freezer:
    My brother, when we were growing up, was fond of keeping snakes-the big(though non-poisonous)ones that eat small furry animals and such. He got tired of having to go to the pet store to buy a mouse every 3 weeks or so when the snake needed a meal, and one day it dawned on him that he could keep a stash of snake food in the freezer. He ordered a dozen day-old chicks from the turkey farm up the road, failing to realize that they would be delivered alive, cute, fuzzy and peeping. Mom promptly loaded the rest of us in to the car, telling him he had 2 hours to take care of this. I still don’t know how he dispached the little cuties while we were whiling away the afternoon at the mall, but when we got home, the job was done, 12 individually wrapped little corpses in the freezer, and my brother looking a bit grey around the edges. For the next few months, he would take one out of the freezer on the appointed day, let it thaw(this was before microwaves) then fluff it up with a blowdrier and shake it around in the cage so the snake would think it’s prey was living. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that my brother is a vegetarian now?
    Thanks for your writing. I am a new fan, and will be a frequent visitor to your site.

  121. HI IM VERY SORRY FOR YOUr LOSS… THIS VERY MOMENT MY BLACK TEDDY BEAR HAMSTER IS DYING HIS NAME IS TONY… ITS VERY HARD HAD HIM FOR A YEAR AND NINE MONTHS … HES SO WEAK I CANT EVEN PUT HIM IN WITH HIS BROTHER FREDDY, SO MY MOTHER IS LYING WITH HIM ON THE SOFA TILL HIS TIME IS UP…. THEIR SO CUTE AND GIVE SO MUCH LOVE I WISH THEY LIVED LONGER!!! BUT SOON HE’LL BE IN ANIMAL HEAVEN WITH MY THREE DOGS AND MA TWO LIL GERBILS AND MY GUNIEA PIG … AS U CAN SEE I LOVE ANIMALS
    SORRY FOR EVERYONES LOSS BUT NOW THEIR WATCHIN OVER US!
    clarissa nyc

  122. HI I JUST WROTE IN BEFORE WELL JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE MY LITTLE HAMSTER TONY HAS PASSED AT 1:11 AM … VERY SAD AND DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW BUT NOW HES NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE.. RIP LIL ONE
    CLARISSA

  123. Just wanted to let you know that we feel your pain and also lost our son’s little hamster, Legalass (named after Lord of the Rings character). He passed away sometime today while we were at work and school. We are also preparing for his funeral in another hour or so. He will also be buried in the backyard. We are all very sad. RIP Legalass you will be missed.

  124. I’m very very sorry for your loss, i too just lost my hamster of 2 1/2 years im very upset and miss him dearly but am thankful he went quickly and peacefully i sympathize with you and happy you were another great pet owner
    my condolinces ((sorry about spelling)
    J.B
    and the deceased Bruce

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