Drywall has no healthcare plan

Jim Rohn said, “Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.”, and aside from the fact that dude sounds a little bit like he was very rich, happy and likely got slapped at the occasional cocktail party for excessive perkiness and a terminal good outlook by people who just wanted him to accept that not every day is sunshine on roses…I largely agree with him. That’s why I’m taking a day off from the back room reno. My happiness is a choice, and I choose to not play nasty drill games for one day so I will be happy. Plus, we made a lot of progress.

Here’s the Shari’s lace koigu sock (Sockbug pattern) admiring the new paint job.

Sharlacepj1

In the background lurks the Ikea cabinet that has officially (and quite literally) crushed Ian and I. On Friday when we were feeling sort of full of ourselves for laying the floor.. Wait? Did I show you the floor?

Tinkfrnfl1

Nice eh? I’m really happy with the floor, and that’s the body of the second tinks sweater enjoying the cool vinyl. I’m at the divide for the back and front neck, which means that I have to work back and forth instead of around and around for the last 12 rows. I know some knitters modify the rate of slope at the neck to let them steek it…but that’s not going to work for me. Babies have fat necks. I’m going to have to suck it up for 12 rows.

Finkfnksf1

Sorry, the Ikea thing. So Ian and I are putting this behemoth together, and first you assemble one side and the bottom, then the instruction shows these people lifting up the unit, then putting the top on (working over their heads) then the other side. It seems like a royal pain in the arse. I mean, why wouldn’t you just assemble it on the floor, then lift it up? Maybe because it’s heavy? In any case, Ian and I decide that we are smarter/stronger/more advanced than the Ikea instructions, and move on with assembly.

When we are done we have an enormous square. Top, sides and bottom, no back yet. (We’re going to do that when it’s standing up.) Ian and I actually congratulated ourselves on being smart enough to ignore the instructions, then lifted the unit and discovered why they want you to assemble it standing.

As we lifted it, Ian at one end, me at the other, we noticed that the square had some shift. Just a little. We lifted it a little higher and in the span of about one terrible, heartstopping nanosecond – the entire unit collapsed like a parallelogram. It completely folded, slamming shut, ripping every single fastener out of the wood as it went. (You may feel free to imagine the filthy language used at this point. Don’t hold back.)

Please add extra obscenities for noble decisions made by Ian and I during the nanosecond of collapse. In that instant, as the supremely heavy unit chock full of sharp corners and (now protruding screws and fasteners) careened toward our hard won NEW BACK ROOM, without thinking or without consideration…my brother (a king among men) jammed his hands between the new vinyl floor and the heavy wood, as I (similarly inspired) leapt to protect the new drywall and paint job by installing my knees between it and the wall.

Injured bodies heal and we have socialized medicine

Floors and walls have to be repaired on a budget.

Easy choice.

Later (very soon after actually) when Ian and I were drinking coffee, nursing our wounds and reflecting on the nature and ultimate wisdom of Ikea instructions (and how it had taken both of us to agree to be that stupid). Ian took a long drink of coffee, thoughtfully rubbed his injured hand and looked me dead in the eye.

“Steph?” he said, sort of quietly, “You’re just going to fill that ^#*&^ing room full of wool, aren’t you.”

No comment. Pass the bandaids.

206 thoughts on “Drywall has no healthcare plan

  1. Ian, you say that like it’s a bad thing…
    Great story. I’m glad I had the wisdom to swallow my Coke before reading the last bit.

  2. You go ahead and fill the room with wool! That’s what you have been planning all along isn’t it? Maybe you can act as proxy storage for all of us who are always looking for more stash space. Cheers

  3. A whole room stuffed with wool. Wow. That’d be great. I’d take my meals in there and sleep in a little nest of merino on the vinyl. Besides, once you pad the walls, the shelves won’t hurt them anymore!

  4. Ya know, I’m kind of ambivalent about you. Like Cohn brothers films. I’m not sure it’s moral to cause good people to laugh spontaneously and wholeheartedly at depictions of pain.
    Nice teaser at the end, too. I hear dark chocolate is good for bruises — slicks up the platlets so they just slide on by…

  5. I’m not laughing at the save-the-room-not-us philosophy. Not at all. Because my boyfriend once took it upon himself to try to stop a refridgerator going down steps from crashing through our front door – with his body. *nod* And we DON’T have socialized health care (grumble).

  6. Ouch! Glad you and Ian are OK – and the room too. It’ll be so nice to have a wool/spinning/knitting room when you’re all finished. The room looks great so far.

  7. Ow. Just….OW. I applaud your loyalty to the new room, but one thing you need to remember: drywall may not have healthcare, but new knees are even more expensive than drywall. Just saying. On the other hand (the one that wasn’t smashed?) I see no problem whatsoever in filling the room with wool. Perfectly logical course of action. Go for it. And if you should happen to run out of space, I hereby volunteer space in my house. πŸ™‚ Nice, eh?

  8. Nice room! I can’t believe it took him this long to figure out that it was going to fill up with wool. We all knew from the outset…
    Enjoy your happy day.

  9. Definitely chocolate for internal bruises. For the externals, try Witch Hazel (Which Hazel? That Hazel!). Apply gently and liberally two or three times each day, and they’ll heal in half the time. And as Renee pointed out, wool is squishy and impact-absorbing and therefore vital to newly renovated rooms and limbs.

  10. Definitely chocolate for internal bruises. For the externals, try Witch Hazel (Which Hazel? That Hazel!). Apply gently and liberally two or three times each day, and they’ll heal in half the time. And as Renee pointed out, wool is squishy and impact-absorbing and therefore vital to newly renovated rooms and limbs.

  11. Um…knit him something nice with all the wool that may fill the new room? The floor is gorgeous, Ikea is ebil, and I hope you both are feeling better soon.

  12. Ian is your brother, right? So he’s known you a long time, right? Um, you’re saying he didn’t get it sooner? Must have been caught up in the project, because otherwise he would have figured out long ago that the only possible use for this room was, and always will be, yarn.
    Hope the fingers, legs and backs heal soon.

  13. Sounds like IKEA instruction writers have something in common with some knitting instruction writers.
    There’s a very good reason for what they’re telling us to do, but they don’t explain why. So of course we think we can improve on their method – until it all falls apart. Glad you survived the falling apart stage.

  14. Ouch! Your tale reminds me of far too many such attempts at assembling what one friend calls “puzzle cabinets.” You’re well within your rights to take a day off from that form of self-abuse (or brother-abuse, whichever).
    Of course you’re going to fill the room with wool! Was that ever in doubt?
    Tinks’ sweaters are gorgeous!

  15. Gee, if that were me sitting at the table with you, I would have worked on convincing ourselves that our way really was the right way–we just didn’t take it far enough . . . if we had just put the back on before raising it, the stability issue would have been solved, and we would have avoided that stupid nailing over our heads thing. (I haven’t figured out what face-saving post mortem I’d be telling after we were flattened like pancakes when the behemoth proved to be just a wee too heavy for us to hoist into position . . . probably something about height and leverage points and centers of gravity . . .)
    Good call on sacrificing the body rather than the floor/drywall!

  16. I thought that was the plan all along! But you’re still not giving up the wool closets, though. Right?
    Is that the original Ikea cabinet or a replacement? Do they replace when you admit stupidity?

  17. Wow, I must have the world’s most powerful cheap-o computer. With a mere click of the send button, I cloned my comment! By the way, ya got more info on modifying neck stitches for steeking? I’m working on my nerve and need all the help I can get.

  18. The room is looking great. And though you’re bruised you clearly made the right choice to save your hard work by throwing yourself into the path of danger.
    A day off from being Home-reno goddess is completely justified.

  19. Um, Ian? How long have you known your sister? Just what did you think she was going to do with the room?! Still, I think you deserve something nice for that save — maybe some soft warm squishy padded gloves?
    Ikea. *snort* Try assembling bookshelves when you’re a woman with little arm strength and no electric drill. Did you end up with extra parts? I always end up with extra parts. Of course, the entertainment unit (not from IKEA) was worse — assembled fine, then I realized it weighed 150 pounds and had to be lifted and moved to the back wall! Dang some-assembly-required furniture.

  20. I agree with Rams about the dark chocolate; although I was going to recommend a shot or two of vodka; even better might be some Chocolate Vodka? Yes it does exist and oh my gosh it’s so good.

  21. Given all the work you have put into the room yourself, you totally deserve to fill it with wool. Go for it!

  22. Well, yeah! Of course you’re gonna fill it with wool! What’s the damn point of going through all this hassle & finishing the room otherwise? Sheesh…

  23. OUCH!!! and yes I sure can imagine what was said. I love the colour of the walls and that floor. It is gorgeous. Vinyl you say? I would have that it was slate, great job.
    OMG ROFL your brother didn’t catch on before this LOL. Okay he’s a man that explains it, they just don’t get this fiber thing LOL.

  24. After constructing 10 Ikea pieces for our apartment, I agree that the wordless instructions always know best (I especially like the Help page that shows the little guy calling ikea).

  25. rofl
    that is too funny.
    i hope you all are alright.
    pain heals, stories are told by scars…
    i can see it now… Steph why do you have that big scar on your knee?
    Oh funny story that see I was trying to save my drywall from a rampaging ikea cabinet…
    πŸ˜‰

  26. Good save. You clearly have your priorities straight.
    Aw, come on y’all. Allow the poor squished man to express some (momentary I’m sure) bitterness. He saved the floor!

  27. Steph (and Ian), the new room looks amazing. Absolutely wonderful. Good work. The sacrifice-the-body thing is commendable as well. Drat Ikea instructions! They should have warned you about the instability problem. And Ian — we ALL knew it would fill with wool. You didn’t?

  28. I love Ikea, but I always let my husband, who is very very handy put the Ikea crap together. I’m sure he appreciates that.
    Ian says that like filling a room full of wool is a bad thing … Tisk tisk Ian. You may be a king among men, but you are definitely not a knitter among sheep.

  29. (delurking here) um – your brother says that and I notice he’s wearing what could ONLY be a hand knit cap in the photos. whenever my boyfrind makes a comment such as that I remind him where all of his custom made caps come from. BTW – I loved the home reno info – I spent Saturday fixing the two water heaters in my basement mostly by myself (the local menfolk are less handy than I in these matters) and I know the feeling you get – so, hey there, nice floors!

  30. I so sympathize… My Ikea bookshelves did something similar. And once those fasteners are ripped out and the little particles start giving way, they never look the same…
    Oh well. Choose light, airy wool and maybe it’ll stay upright.

  31. As my mom says, owie owie! At least you didn’t injure those knitter’s hands. Through many hours of home improvement I have learned to follow the instructions… And of course you have wave around another SOCK to make those of us who refuse to knit them feel inferior… another question, since you were so kind as to answer my last one about the swing needles (I ordered some) – any way to estimate yarn yardage by weight? I bought some yarn on eBay (don’t have it yet but it looked gorgeous) that is on a cone, described as aran and weighing a little over 700 grams. I asked the seller about it but to my surprise she said that in the UK yarn is commonly sold that way, not by the yard (or meter.) Any UK knitters out there reading the comments feel free to respond as well – thanks!

  32. Wow. I love the paint. Almost as much as I love the floor. And if you hadn’t thrown yourselves into harm’s way to save the wool room from the cabinet-you would have two broken, mangled projects, right? So, it’s totally justified. A ruined cabinet is bad enough. Gouged floor and walls-beyond contemplating.
    Can’t wait to see pics of the finished room-when it’s filled with wool, I mean.

  33. Now I want to know what model cabinet it was, so I can look it up on the IKEA website. And yes, I agree–you need to do the Ikea-or-Ibsen quiz; it’ll have special relevance for you now. πŸ™‚
    Fill that thing full of wool; it’ll be the best revenge!

  34. We couldn’t expect a whit less from you than to fill that room completely and absolutely with wool.

  35. After all that you drank COFFEE?? Stephanie, I thought better of you. Some of that screech would have helped more. (That’s in the category of WWLD, meaning What Would Lorette Drink?)

  36. Really, what’s wrong with a room stuffed with wool? I have one. You should have one. Shoot, everyone should have one! Wool for everyone!
    I’m off to Ikea myself for the wool room today. I made a mental note to really follow those directions. Thanks for finding that out for all of us… The hard way.

  37. This is an example of why (though not pertinent in your situation) Ikea furniture should come with divorce papers. Ugh, I feel for you.

  38. *stifles laughter at your expense*
    OMG…I’ve absolutely done such things myself. Hell, last night I endured hot tea spilling on my fingers rather than drop the cup that I was giving to my friend who needed it for her cold. Now that’s friendship, lol…

  39. My husband once tried to trim bushes with an electric trimmer, in the rain. When his hand slipped and he nearly cut off his finger, he ran in the house, sprinted down the hall, and used the greasy, dirty shirt he’d worked in the day before to stem the flow of blood. When I asked him why he’d used that nasty shirt, he told me he thought I’d yell at him if he bled on the white towels.
    The floor is beautiful.
    And I’m glad you didn’t tell Ian that the monster IKEA thing was being built expressly for the storage of yarn. I don’t think the poor man could have taken it.
    Tell him how many of us think he’s hot when you show these pictures – maybe he’ll feel better.

  40. You know, your entire house is full of wool. Did he really believe that this new room would be spared? Are you sure that cabinet didn’t bump his poor head?

  41. Now, if only the room had already been filled with yarn, there would have been no need to interpose injury-prone body parts between the cabinet and the fragile parts of the room. Just sayin’.

  42. Your new floor looks very nice. Way to go. Ikea always seems like a good idea to me until I get it home and I have to put it all together..then, not so much so.

  43. When we bought a house for my son and daughter-in-law and started to renovate it, my husband said as they moved into our house, “Two months, and they will be in their own house, I promise”. They were with us 2 weeks short of 1 year. I feel your renovation pain. Fill it with wool, it will hide a multitude of sins.

  44. Love the floor and can understand why you both protected it with your bodies. Why would filling the room with wool be a bad thig? At least it’s soft if it falls on you.

  45. Love the floor, and can understand why you both protected it with your bodies. Why would filling the room with wool be a bad thing? At least it’s soft if it falls on you.

  46. Oh, how well he knows you.
    We went to the Ikea here in Atlanta for the first time yesterday. Discovered that you don’t go when you’re recuperating from the plague (gets very confusing) and you don’t take your kids. Mine seem to revert to 2 & 4 when we’re in someplace really cool.
    We told them they have to go for 24 hours without asking us to buy them anything. If they can’t do it, we’re selling them to the next traveling circus.

  47. Well, if he knows you well enough he already knew the answer before even asking. Also a question for you, How/where does one get there name put on the list? I’d like to do a moebius basket (I’ve jumped on the Bordhi bandwagon)

  48. How did Ian get to be your brother this long without knowing the purpose of that room from the get-go? I do agree he is a king among men for sacrificing his body for the cause. I also agree that he deserves some nice wooly reward. So does his lovely wife, because she has so generously lent him to you for this project πŸ˜‰
    Now that you have this fabulous room, I’m sure there can be no doubt that stash will still happen throughout the rest of the house. It will start out all in the new room, but we know it will eventually creep back into it’s former hiding places. The people you live with have to know you well enough to know your stash can’t possibly be contained in one room, right?

  49. Well if you don’t mind I would like to add my name to your knitting olympics. I think it is a great idea and just the push I need to get a winter sweater started and finished for myself. The project name is a winter sweater ( I kid you not)and can be found in an old copy of knitters digest. I look forward to seeing how all the projects turn out.

  50. Floor and room look fantastic! Does this mean the stash will be migrating from other parts of the house to this centralized location or is there a shopping trip planned? I say let already nested wool lie and fill the room with new stuff.
    Please add me in for the Knitting Olympics. It’s time I learned to felt by making a hat and a bag.

  51. Our humongous bedroom wardrobe was from Ikea, assembled per Ikea Instructions in three parts (still very heavy) and then the darn thing off- gassed for two weeks and I couldn’t sleep in the room. Just a warning – don’t install the wool right away.

  52. Of course, you and Ian threw your bodies into the path of the falling cabinet. We’re programmed to take care of the kids that way if they were falling, aren’t we? There isn’t enough time to decide that this is different in a moment of panic. I’ve done similar things in the past. Actually, the colorful language *after* is usually because I realized I didn’t need to get hurt.
    Chocolate and screech sound like the right things to take. Socialized medicine be damned, we can fix ourselves, right? In fact, hot buttered screech sounds quite fine in what must be a nasty cold winter in Toronto.

  53. I’ve been wondering what the room would be for and was hoping that it would be the wool room. Don’t forget the cabinet that will hold wine and chocolate!

  54. Like I say to my husband (at least once a week), “did you just meet me?” Every night he asks me what I want to drink with dinner (water) – this for fifteen years! I guess I should say “martini, please” just once to throw him off!
    Congrats on the room progress. At least the thing didn’t smash your fingers! Then you wouldn’t be able to knit!

  55. Spoken like a true brother. He knows you so well.
    Lovely floor, nice paint job. Looking forward to the finished project all full of wool. Bet you are too.

  56. The blog is terrific!! Even knowing that someone could potentially have their own room filled with wool is an inspiration!

  57. Has anyone thought about a Knitting Olympics group of items at Cafe Press with the goal of money raised to go to Knitters Without Borders?
    I’ll buy!!!

  58. As for filling the room with yarn, wool is a wonderful insulator. You’re cutting down on your hearting bill even more. Sometimes men are so slow.

  59. p.s. what would Ian like from the coping store to help him deal with his awakening to the purpose of the room he bruised himself for?

  60. Love the new room – the floors are loverly. Perhaps what Ian was considering was not so much that there would be yarn in that cabinet (I think anyone who knows you could predict that) as that he nearly sacrificed a few fingers for your stash. Either way, I got a good laugh!

  61. Gorgeous floor and paint job!!
    My 15 year old daughter and I endured 4 hours of IKEA instructions to assemble an 8 drawer dresser. I am proud to say although there was some cursing it was not at each other. The best part was that I spent 4 hours with my daughter without and teenaged angst or unanticipated, blindingly swift mood changes. I count that as a victory!

  62. Gorgeous floor and paint job!!
    My 15 year old daughter and I endured 4 hours of IKEA instructions to assemble an 8 drawer dresser. I am proud to say although there was some cursing it was not at each other. The best part was that I spent 4 hours with my daughter without any teenaged angst or unanticipated, blindingly swift mood changes. I count that as a victory!

  63. I was wondering when that was going to come up. I hope you do fill it with wool. Virginia Woolf was right on about a room of one’s own AND she was a knitter. She was! Who’s to say what exactly she had in there.
    My room is full of wool and fabric and things that make me happy. Warning, unfortunately it’s become everyone else’s favorite room too. What was to house me and me alone is now a magnet for two dogs two boys and one husband claiming he has nowhere to sit.
    P.S. As I’m sure you already know, IKEA has great stuff for storing wool.

  64. Ohhh,Stephanie!!! You must be in Heaven to have a beautiful room for your knitting. The colors are so lovely and soothing. I understand about the cabinet as we tried to assemble a computer desk and it weighed a ton. Had it together in the living room and them had to move it into another room through a little door. Not good—-. You are brave to save the floor but it is like your children and must be saved. Looking forward to seeing all the wool in there. When is the next shopping trip????

  65. Ohhh,Stephanie!!! You must be in Heaven to have a beautiful room for your knitting. The colors are so lovely and soothing. I understand about the cabinet as we tried to assemble a computer desk and it weighed a ton. Had it together in the living room and them had to move it into another room through a little door. Not good—-. You are brave to save the floor but it is like your children and must be saved. Looking forward to seeing all the wool in there. When is the next shopping trip????

  66. You must be in Heaven to have a beautiful room for your knitting. The colors are so lovely and soothing. I understand about the cabinet as we tried to assemble a computer desk and it weighed a ton. Had it together in the living room and them had to move it into another room through a little door. Not good—-. You are brave to save the floor but it is like your children and must be saved. Looking forward to seeing all the wool in there. When is the next shopping trip????

  67. …but…but…that cabinet in the picture is standing up! How did you get it to do that with every crumbly particle-board fastener ripped out?! I want some stuff from JSYK, and I think it must be assembly required too. Oy.

  68. Oh my, I had such a good laugh, but it may be because I have been there with instructions! I am of the mind that I only read instructions when all else fails!! I thought your floor was ceramic tiles and I thought boy they are good and then you broke my bubble by saying they are vinyl. A great looking vinyl!!

  69. haha, I just stumbled on your blog today. Thoroughly enjoyable, made me laugh out loud πŸ™‚
    WITH you, though. definitely.

  70. The vinyl flooring is beautiful, the paint color is cool, soothing and will make a gorgeous backdrop for all of the ^#*&^ing wool and I too have learned the value of following the little Ikea direction pictograms in the order given thru sometimes painful trial and error. (Love you Ikea, please open a store in Colorado!)

  71. Don’t think you’re smarter than IKEA…*LOL* Stephanie, you’re the best! That really cracked me up after my fight with my bf!!!! Thanks for that!

  72. Been there done that – once. Wisely follow directions now (at least I do when it’s bigger than me.) You crack me up! Hope your new “wool” room doesn’t give you anymore issues.

  73. As echoed elsewhere on this comments list, I am so glad I wasn’t drinking my tea at the time I reached the end of the post. Your sense of storyteller’s timing is just bally superb!
    I hope nothing was too seriously injured when you and Ian saved The New Room from the vicious cabinet attack–I think my ribcage is ruptured from laughing so hard, though.
    Enjoy that deserved day off!

  74. I cannot believe that you have finished such a lovely room in such a short time! It took me two full months to finish a small bathroom and I didn’t do anything to the floor.
    Beware! I have a sewing room and it is so full of fabric, patterns, books, yarn etc. that I haven’t gone in there much in the last 2 years. Why, I have had to buy all new yarns just so I can knit in the living room πŸ˜‰

  75. Isn’t it amazing how, although Ikea (and other companies) have been around for years – doing the same thing for years, we still have a tendency of thinking “hey, it would make more sense to do it like this. . . ” and totally disregard the fact that, the company has probably checked that out and opted this other way for a very good reason? I know that I do that ALL THE TIME! Thanks for the validation that I am NOT the only one to ‘question authority’. Tee hee!
    Love, love, LOVE the flooring. Sigh. I need a new floor too!
    That Ian, boy, he’s a smart one, ‘eh? Tee hee!

  76. ooh, ouch! the floor is coming along nicely, though. Ironically, i had a nearly identical experience with some IKEA cabinets that i bought just after christmas! (luckily they were smaller cabinets and not quite so heavy so we were able to catch the whole thing before the total collapse.) But i completely feel your pain!

  77. How funny that he even needed to ask!!!
    Of course, not so funny that you sacrificed your body for your drywall… (I mean, I’ve got pretty decent health care, but I’d rather the floor carried the scars, not my already battered flabby bod,) But, really… A vinyl floor, a giant cabinet… unless you’ve got a relative coming to visit or are planning to raise hairless cats or start a shelter for wool deprived squirrels… what else would you do with it?

  78. You should have filled it with wool BEFORE you put together the furniture – you know, to cushion the fall. Well, you live, you learn. πŸ˜‰

  79. wow! hope it wasn’t your spinning knee. when sailing, we used to say, one hand for the ship, one hand for yourself. i’m glad it seems neither of you were seriously injured (except maybe your pride). i hope you have the receipt and can exchange it for another piece.
    ps – everything in the room looks lovely!

  80. You should have filled it with wool BEFORE you put together the furniture – you know, to cushion the fall. Well, you live, you learn. πŸ˜‰

  81. The room is beautiful.
    I hope the two of you are not seriously injured.
    The cabinet should not have fallen apart; that’s evidence of bad design, since furniture inevitably will be moved and should be designed to handle the stresses. I believe that strips of 2×2 wood (real wood, not particle board) can be bolted into place so that new fasteners (real screws and nails) can be used to put it together better. Install angle irons for stronger corners. All that can be done inside, so the outside still looks reasonable.
    Stepladders are good to have.

  82. Just?…
    The floor fooled me- I thought you’d put the real slate in, in which Ian would have not only chucked his hands under, but rather a large portion of his other medically insured body parts. I like the happy paint color, too. Most lovely!
    Hope you weatherstripped the door (it is Canada, what am I thinking? Of course you did) so the stash weasels don’t weasel their way in.
    Lastly, the sweater looks fantastic. I was just stunned by all that backroom goodness.

  83. That floor is marvelous!
    Beautiful!
    It’s worth minor injury to protect.. {grin}
    Of course, I too would have assembled the thing on the floor. But we don’t need to think about that right now.

  84. Steph: I have had a similar experience with Ikea furniture, only my cabinet had a glass front. Use your imagination.
    On another note, when you come to the Seattle area in a couple of weeks, can you bring Ian? I have a couple of projects that involve concrete, and I hear he’s experienced! πŸ˜‰ TMK

  85. And just what did Ian think that our dear “Yarn” Harlot would do with a lovely new room??? Of course he didn’t read the instructions, either:)

  86. Hey, Stacy has a good idea! When we finish our Knitter’s Olympics projects, is there someplace we can send them to be auctioned off for Knitters Without Borders?

  87. I want a room just for yarn. πŸ™‚
    Add me to the Knitter’s Olympics page, please? I think I’ve finally lost my mind, and I’m making a felted bag. πŸ™‚

  88. Wait a minute, you… Didn’t you swear off Ikea at one time, or at least curse them senseless over under the bed storage? I know, though, I have Ikea yarn storage too… The room really does look lovely- and so does the distracting sweater. Now, you should be drinking heavily laced mochas- then you get your coffee, chocolate, and something hard to soothe the pain…

  89. You’re not really a knitter until you have some kind of Ikea product devoted to your craft.
    Heal (I just typed “heel”) quickly!
    Do you think the injury will affect Team Merlot/Chocolate/Caffeine’s performance?

  90. Would you believe that I did the exact same thing with an Ikea wardrobe? I am single and get stubborn about things that order you to assemble with two people and tried to do it myself, by lying it on the floor. When I slowly tried to hoist it up, it also ripped apart and collapsed. My solution was to 1) wait six months for irrational anger at wardrobe to dissipate and 2) Go on Craigslist and find someone local getting rid of their wardrobe so I could steal their frame and all could be restored. I do love the thing now that it’s done, though.

  91. So sorry to hear about the collapse! At least no wool was harmed in the event.
    I also wanted to let you know that I decided on my event for the Olympics – the We Call Them Pirates Hat from Hello Yarn – my first Fair Isle!
    Off to swatch!

  92. Nice floor! And yeah, the memories of instantaneously finding myself in some contorted position, having made the split second decision that I’ll heal and the OBJECT won’t…oh, yeah. I know that one. It makes sense rationally, as long as no one’s seriously injured. It’s really great that our bodies can heal themselves. It’s just hard to know what we’re getting into with so little time to judge sometimes.

  93. Definitely a post for the Blog Hall of Fame. Anything that I can sit my husband down in front of the computer and say, “You must read this,” and have him rolling on the floor, crying with laughter as much as I am has GOT to win a prize or something.

  94. Hi
    Great floor! I thought oh slate isn’t lovely then remembered that you were putting down vinyl.
    Glad nothing, including yourselves was badly damaged. πŸ™‚
    Silly boy! Of course it is for stash! You want the rest of you house back don’t you? So it has to go somewhere. Is this reno payment for knitting received or is there a “promise” to come?
    Hope you took today to spin as well.

  95. Ah. I saved this post to read as a reward for finishing my Very Long Newsletter (I am here well over an hour late today, and knew I would be).
    It is a good reward.
    And I’m skipping reading 127 other comments for reasons I’m sure you’ll understand, even knowing, I may be repeating someone else when I say: Your last post was titled “Contractor? We don’t need no stinkin’ contractor!” and that it was IKEA furniture that took you down. Too. Funny. (I had a recent post on IKEA construction and will so very much take totally to heart your experience. It’s all. about. the clever way they have of making a few pieces of wood hold together. You must buy the stabilizing bit they recommend.)

  96. LOL! I’m sorry you had problems with the cabinet. (I’ve endured a year and a half of bf’s taunting due to an Ikea desk I failed to put together properly. I still swear I followed the instructions!) I’m glad everyone is at least okay enough to drink coffee afterwards, though! And you saved the room!
    “No, there’ll be some alpaca in there, too. Maybe cashmere, angora, silk…not JUST wool!”

  97. C’mon, now, did he really *need* to ask?
    Let me congratulate you on your excellent taste – the wall color & floor tile look wonderful. Wishing you many happy times in your new room.

  98. I love you all and I’ve never met you! I have several tons on yet-to-be-assembled IKEA wonders in my game room–waiting to become my long anticipated knitting/sewing room! I have had good results assembling IKEA things–I try to think in swedish. And I NEVER disobey their orders! I am jealous of your gorgeous space and I love to read your commentary. Please keep sharing with us!

  99. Having furnished my apartment this year I have my share of IKEA stories. My mom and I spent an afternoon constructing a wardrobe. We thought that the dark side on the instructions matched the dark side of the wood. Unfortunately, it actually meant the unfinished side of the wood. We figured this out about 3/4 of the way in before going back, trying to rectify the situation, and having it utterly collapse before us. Five words – Thank God for wood glue.

  100. We are in the midst of a total gut and redo, and the kind folks building cabinets and cubbyholes had been told that one portion of one built-in was for “Evelyn’s Yarn.” The twenty-something fella designing the space actually showed us a cubic inch measurement and asked “this will do it, won’t it?” Poor, misguided dear. My husband laughed and said “That might hold what she wants to knit NOW.”
    Well, the cabinet guy didn’t get it, but the McPhees and my husband get credit for understanding the whole point of the exercise…

  101. Hi Stephanie.
    I would like to join the knitting olympics.
    I will knit a jacket.
    Ser du strikker baby jakken med Baby-ull fra Dale i norge… πŸ™‚

  102. Been there, done that…not only do I now put the backing on but I use ALL the nails (and I think they throw in a handful not just the fifteen or so they suggest…these are lessons learned the painful way…like swatching when you change from the suggested yarn!).
    BTW, if nobody has pointed it out yet…the best button yet for the KO is here (I have found my team!):
    http://www.uncleleona.net/blog/

  103. After debating for a while, the knitting olympics sound too good to pass up! I’ll be knitting my first pair of socks.

  104. Nice looking “wool” room. Great renovation. Ikea = greater challenge than the Knitting Olympics. Why? Ever watch the Amazing Race? One episode had the teams at Ikea with the choice of either counting cazillion tons of kitchen items or putting a desk together. Since I am left-handed and am totally challenged reading directions for a right-handed world well that scene you experienced would have been me too!!! P.S. I learned how to knit from a right-handed Aunt so everyone is amazed when they see me knit….

  105. I’ve only been knitting since October 4th, 2005 – the day we began a major kitchen/total 1st floor renovation in our house! I’ve knitted almost every day since then. I get it when you talk about your floor. (We put in a new floor, too.) I love your blog and read it every day – THANKS!

  106. I almost cried from laughing so hard!!! We had a similar problem except that the wood in the center collapsed first and brought the outsides inward. It was sort of a sad, miniature implosion.

  107. It’s official — you actually made my *husband* giggle with that one. *grins* I am sorry about the bruises, and the floor does look lovely.

  108. I had to laugh because as soon as you wrote that you were smarter than the Ikea directions I knew what was going to happen. I had exactly the same thing happen with the same Ikea closet many years ago. You described it to a T, folding parallelogram and all. Except I was all alone so there was no one to hear the ensuing stream of invective.
    Congrats on your renovation though.

  109. I live for Allen wrenches. I’ll be right over to help assemble anything you need. LOL!
    The room looks great. Fill away, I wish I had such a luxury.

  110. I had to laugh because as soon as you wrote that you were smarter than the Ikea directions I knew what was going to happen. I had exactly the same thing happen with the same Ikea closet many years ago. You described it to a T, folding parallelogram and all. Except I was all alone so there was no one to hear the ensuing stream of invective.
    Congrats on your renovation though.

  111. I had to laugh because as soon as you wrote that you were smarter than the Ikea directions I knew what was going to happen. I had exactly the same thing happen with the same Ikea closet many years ago. You described it to a T, folding parallelogram and all. Except I was all alone so there was no one to hear the ensuing stream of invective.
    Congrats on your renovation though.

  112. As someone who has just made 5 Ikea cabinets to hold the books…so that I can take the existing Ikea shelves into another room to hold my wool/material/patterns/cross stitch and all the things that keep a working mother of 2 sane…I laughed out loud at your brother’s comments. Damn right it’s for wool go for it girl.
    How cold is it in Canada…we’ve had -7 here in Scotland over night for the last few days and I am ready to hibernate til March!!

  113. count me in the olympics, I’m going to tery and make my first pair of socks. And is there a kitty team? I vote we have one and I’m joining it:)

  114. Forgot to mention in yesterday’s comment, love the floor, I thought it was slate, until you said otherwise. Thank you so much for your spirited and humorous blog.

  115. I’m joining in for the Olympics…most likely with Team USA Swearing At Lace (I’m going to take a shot at a lace shawl for the first time).
    Although…is there a Team Texas yet? Hmm. I think I’ll look into making some buttons.
    I might need to look into making a knitting blog as well.

  116. Too bad there wasn’t already some wool there to help the fall. May this be a lesson to you: always have an extra skein on hand to break falls!

  117. OMG – i couldn’t believe it when i read your entry about the IKEA cabinet – it was a PAX wasn’t it? I now have this image of the same scenario playing out in numerous households throughout the GTA….
    Only in my case – last week i had left for my stitch ‘n bitch and my boyfriend said he would wait until i got back to help with the assembly. Instead, when i got back, i found my boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed nursing his mashed finger with a sour look on his face .. and little bits of particle board on the floor. You guessed it – he thought he could improve on IKEA instructions too and that the 2 people in the diagram was only a suggestion. I don’t know about you but there was much fudging required when it came to mounting the door later b/c of broken screw holes.
    And the space i am gaining with the cabinet? It frees up another IKEA dresser which will be the new home for my yarn (and fabric) stash. : )

  118. Sheesh! I don’t even know you and as soon as you said, “Ikea Cabinet”, i was thinking, “yarn stash”.
    You sure that man is your brother and he’s not been replaced by some alien pod?
    Glad the two of you didn’t suffer any critical injuries!
    ~Suz~

  119. LOL. I so enjoyed that. Sounds just like me. Body parts heal, that other stuff has to be replaced! According to my husband, our whole house is wool storage! The couch is the next to go if necessary, he can lean up against a loom to watch t.v. – yea, that works!

  120. Count me in for the olympic trials!! I will be tackling a scarf. After all, it is the winter olympics!

  121. I don’t know how you do it all but you amaze me! I’d like to do the olympics too. I’m going to take a big bite for this…..I’m going to knit my first cabled sweater for dh. Anyone else start a training schedule? I’m currently working on 3 projects. My goal for training ~ why to finish them all, of course!

  122. A true LOL moment …. I do — or used to — love home fixin’ so much that a friend called me Roberta Viela. So I feel like I’ve been there, done that though without a helpful brother.

  123. Wonder if you can produce some sort of thrummed-emergency-saving-fingers-type-garment for self-assembly experiments… I am another who has tried to circumvent Ikea’s wisdom and has had to bow to their superior will after nearly losing extremities… Ouch. Good luck with the bruises, both.

  124. Oh. Ow. Oh. Goodness. I now understand better the ultimate act of love it was that my daughter and brand new son-in-law were assembling IKEA cabinets for me and my yarn while I wasn’t home. (They’d put together their own earlier, at their place, and knew what they were in for.) And why they were barely speaking to each other when I got back.
    Here in earthquake country, you have to nail it to the studs behind the wall when you’re done. I wonder, could you start by nailing the back upright like that before going further?…

  125. You know, with home heating cost being what they are, filling your room with wool could be a very energy efficient idea….that and the walls would already be padded for any relatives that question your wisdom….It’s a thought!

  126. Gosh! After all that, I’m amazed that *coffee* was all you were drinking! As for your hubby’s question about yarn…well, we’ll just ignore that, won’t we?!

  127. hmmmm, my youngest got a new IKEA bed last month with lots of storage cubbies underneath, perhaps my yarn stash could expand into a few of those spaces. Oh wait a minute! All those cubbies are why I can now walk across his bedroom floor without stepping on legos and micromachines. HIS stuff is in the cubbies!
    And my husband and 15 year old son put it together without wanting to kill each other! Cool!

  128. Love the paint color (and the knitting of course!). Filling the room wth wool sounds like a superb idea. Good insulation, decoration, and padding from attack cabinets. How can you argue with that logic? πŸ˜€ And the point to this delurking (yes, I’m one of those) – ZOMG knitting olympics. As if you weren’t swamped enough with it. I am going to be insane and knit myself a new blanket (for my bed!). See, told you. Insane. πŸ™‚

  129. And your brother has intuitively picked up on why my husband is hedging about making any additions to our house. He KNOWS that it will magically make the stash grow to gross proportions.

  130. I’d like to join the knitting olypmics. I also ropped two friends to join! I’ll be doing socks, two of them. It’s a challenge because I’ve avoided them for 7 years now! It’s time to face my fear.
    How can you not look IKEA directions? It’s worth for the photos, I love the face on that little guy when he shows you what not to do!

  131. That’s what the room is for, isn’t it? Wool?
    Good news—I’ll be in Tacoma on Saturday. I’ve lost my seat in the classes, but hey, I’ll still get to see YOU and do a little shopping! πŸ™‚ I can’t wait!

  132. Okay, I’m taking the leap and joining the Knitting Olympics. My project: my very first pair of socks! Thanks for being an inspiration!

  133. The progress made on that back room is amazing!!! I would have sacrificed one of my limbs, too….
    I would love to join the Olympics. I’ll be knitting Klaralund. Hope there’s still room for one more……

  134. The progress made on that back room is amazing!!! I would have sacrificed one of my limbs, too….
    I would love to join the Olympics. I’ll be knitting Klaralund. Hope there’s still room for one more……

  135. Must join the competition! Please sign me up for the Knitting Olympics. I’ll be attempting the man sweater, otherwise known as Beau by Kim Hargreaves, for my Olympic feat. Any way that I can get on Team Caffiene…or Team Merlot? Too many vices to choose from, I suppose. Thanks!!!

  136. Hi Steph, like so many others I’d really like to join the Knitting Olympics. I’ll be knitting a hot water bottle cover. This will be a challenge because it coincides with three (THREE) sets of coursework, and a jaunt to Paris with my man, where indeed I intend to do much of the knitting. (I’m sure he’ll love this plan). Thank you! I really like your new paint colours.

  137. Hi Steph, like so many others I’d really like to join the Knitting Olympics. I’ll be knitting a hot water bottle cover. This will be a challenge because it coincides with three (THREE) sets of coursework, and a jaunt to Paris with my man, where indeed I intend to do much of the knitting. (I’m sure he’ll love this plan). Thank you! I really like your new paint colours.

  138. Hi Steph, like so many others I’d really like to join the Knitting Olympics. I’ll be knitting a hot water bottle cover. This will be a challenge because it coincides with three (THREE) sets of coursework, and a jaunt to Paris with my man, where indeed I intend to do much of the knitting. (I’m sure he’ll love this plan). Thank you! I really like your new paint colours.

  139. Hi Steph, like so many others I’d really like to join the Knitting Olympics. I’ll be knitting a hot water bottle cover. This will be a challenge because it coincides with three (THREE) sets of coursework, and a jaunt to Paris with my man, where indeed I intend to do much of the knitting. (I’m sure he’ll love this plan). Thank you! I really like your new paint colours.

  140. Great looking reno job there. You and Ian make quite the team! I wish you guys had been here when we were installing porcelain tile last summer on what seemed like acres of floor.
    It sounds like I may be glad that there isn’t an Ikea near here. I’m pretty sure we would want something from there and I’m another one of those who “overlook” the directions.
    Training for the Olympics continue with madly spinning every evening to have my yarn ready to go for the big event.

  141. Hi!
    I want to participate Olympics!
    And I will knit a kids pullover, colour-knitted, of course and my own pattern!
    Thanks for great idea! I’ll also start training for Olympics!

  142. Great job on the room. I almost crushed myself with a Billy bookcase! I’ve since learned that Ikea spends lots of time and money on writing their directions and so I will follow them to the letter!

  143. Hi Stephanie,
    I would like to join the Knitting Olympics, please. I will finish a current piece of lace knitting, Lyra, by Herbert Niebling. The challenge is with my full-time work schedule, and two grad classes I just started (yesterday).
    Thank you for this fun idea!
    Take care,
    Rosane.

  144. i know, i know, we’ve been through this before – but i just have to say it again … why can’t that Ian be single?!!
    πŸ˜‰

  145. Hi Stephanie,
    I wasn’t trying to cheat. Really, I wasn’t. It just dawned on me that I need to “cast on” for the Olympics project AT THE BEGINNING OF the Olympics. Duh… Finishing the Lyra would be challenging, but it does not conform to the rules. And they are good rules. I’ll select a new project to work on, and let you know what it is.
    Thanks again,
    Rosane.

  146. Let’s not discuss the time that my dear engineer of a husband and I bought a shelf unit from IKEA without picking up the wire back part. There was much profanity while trying to decipher why the darned thing wouldn’t remain upright.

  147. I am so glad you are OK… and not gashed, gouged, or grazed by the fragmented parallelogram. Who knew the Swedes had a sadistic streak? Hope that by now the chocolate has helped.

  148. Thanks so much for the Ikea story – glad that you are okay! Reminded me of an ex trying to put together an entertainment center – one which you did actually put the whole thing together while laying on the floor, then lifted to do the back – he “forgot” that the pieces came in two boxes, that took two people each to lift, and tried to lift the thing by himself – silly boy…luckily he wasn’t permanently wounded, so it was a funny story.
    good luck with the rest of the back room, and filling it with wool sounds like a wonderful plan!

  149. Stephanie, I just heard your interview on The World. Wow! I’m usually terrible at their Geo Quiz, but boy did I know the answer today. I’m not participating in the KO (I have previous commitments to knitting challenges that will not fit within the time frame of the Olympics if I want to, say, keep my job), but it was sure exciting to hear about it on public radio.
    My one request: I’d love to see a message, after the Olympics, that one doesn’t need a knitting celebrity or a worldwide event to challenge oneself. Just like for the athletes in Italy this week, challenging oneself is a lifelong process. It’s nice to get to shine for 2 weeks every 4 years, but I like the attitude that personal improvement be a goal now matter whether someone (or 2,499 other someones) is watching. I really hope that the knitters participating in the KO will continue challenging themselves after the Olympics is over.

  150. I was just listening to NPR (PRI)when I heard about the knitting Olympics. Great idea. I am going to compete as soon as I decide what I want to make.
    P.S. My d-i-l got me your book. I love it and in turn got one for my special knitting friends.

  151. I have decided to do “Marina” out of “25 handbags to knit” by Emma King.
    I am doing the swatch now, Question, is it best to swatch in stockinette or pattern?

  152. I think this is great! My entry will be a pair of socks. This will be a great challenge. I am looking forward to seeing the pictures.

  153. Hi,
    I decided on the felted laptop carrying case
    I just have to find the pattern, which I have, somewhere in my books or magazines.
    Pirkko

  154. Is it too late for me to enter the knitting Olympics? My name is Katrina, I’m knitting, with my Mom, the community afghan from Handknit Holidays: Knitting Year-Round for Christmas, Hanukkah, and Winter Solstice, and my blog is at the URL above.

  155. I’m in for knitting nirvana. I’m a fairly new knitter, taking it up when my son was born. I’ve since knitted scarves and hats and both 2 sets of doulbe points (there is something so sensuous about them – in bamboo) and am eyeing another set of circular needles. The need to acquire needles in all sizes seems to drive me more than yarn. My stash of yarn is miniscule compared to the plenty I saw on your site…Anyhow,my event for the Olympics is my first ever pair of simple socks from the Book 2 Purl knit.
    I’m working on the faster part of the motto…

  156. Steph, on the subject of build-it-yourself bookshelves and other furnishings — my husband and I have kept the O’Sullivan children in shoes for many years now. I find, however, that IKEA instructions are far superior, involve fewer leftover pieces, and are to be trusted in the same way that one trusts Elizabeth Zimmerman’s “Baby Surprise” or “Round the Bend” jacket instructions. Do not, as you go along, wonder how this strange fabric object could ever become a jacket. Just trust. It is a Zen experience of complete acceptance.
    EZ’s patterns are the only patterns I ever knit without major redesigning. They simply can’t be improved upon. Likewise with IKEA.
    Good luck with your lovely new room….
    Dez

  157. Ok, i think i figured out what i want to do for the olympics…. finally!
    a fair isle sweater for my son.

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