This post was made by the children of the Yarn Harlot. Seeing as how this is her birthday, we think it is unfair for her to post for herself. (Actually, she has always said she doesn’t do any work on her birthday) So us, the kids, get to make the post ourselves. This post is called “If your Mum is the Yarn Harlot”. We figure we are the only ones who can write it, we just happen to be the only children of the Yarn Harlot. (We hope.)
Sam (12 years old):
Today is my Mum’s Birthday, my Mum is the Yarn Harlot. If your Mum is the Yarn Harlot, then you learn to knit before you even learn your numbers, and you learn to spin, sew and cross-stitch for your ninth birthday.
If your Mum is the Yarn Harlot, when you learn all of these things while your friends are learning to dance and do pottery, then they start to think that you are crazy, and you have to say “No, no. I am not crazy, my Mum is the Yarn Harlot.”
I don’t blame them if they think we are crazy, because this is my mum.
She might be a little crazy, but we love her.
If your Mum is the Yarn Harlot, then sometimes she acts crazy and sometimes she is normal and sometimes she is both. This makes my mother what Joe says is “unpredictable and entertaining”, or sometimes he says she is a “hard ticket”.
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, then she is 38 today, but I have only known her for 12 years. We have had some good times together, and in all of our good times, my mother always knitting. Even when we are in public, I don’t think she can control herself.
Megan (15 in 8 weeks)
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, you get to find her books in Chapters and say to all your friends “Yeah, my mum wrote that”.
Who else gets to say that! Only us, well, except if your mum writes books also…
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, then sometimes your room gets painted blue and has fish all over the doors. My mum paints kids rooms with “themes”. Right currently we have our room painted purple. I think she might have stopped painting them themed. I hope not.
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, then you have your own knitting basket. It’s not exactly a small basket either. It’s pretty big and I have lots of knitting needles in there, and lots of wool in there too. I have tons of knitting things. I think she gave each of us our own knitting basket so we will stop stealing from hers. It doesn’t really work though, but mum thinks everyone will be distracted by their own wool.
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, you always have something to do when your hands are bored. Mum thinks the answer to everything is knitting. If you can’t sleep, if you have a headache, if your boyfriend bugs you, if your feet hurt, if you’re tired, anything or everything, Mum will suggest that you knit to make it better.
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot, she knows the answer for everything. She knows all the normal mum stuff and then crazy stuff about stuff that normal mums have no idea about, like what to do with a dirty sheep or how to spin flax.
If your mum is the Yarn harlot, your feet are always warm in the winter along with your hands, head and neck.
If your mum is the Yarn Harlot then she is really good at helping with your English homework because she has written all those books.
If your mum is the Yarn harlot, at some point you are going to realize that your mum is the coolest mum in the whole wide world. (If only because of the knitting.)
Thanks mum, for being yourself, for always knowing the right answer to everything and for always being there for me. 17 years is a long time to always be there for someone. We love you, keep being the Yarn Harlot and the mum we know and love. Happy Birthday!
(Now can I have a puppy?)