Back when I was studying art history, there was this great joke. It’s not my favourite joke, but it’s close.* (I’ve never sorted out if everybody thought it was a great joke, or if it was only something that reduced art students to helpless convulsions. I guess I find out today.)

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A fish.

(That still gets me. A fish. Snort. I love that joke, get it? Dali is still laughing somewhere.) Today is rather surreal, so I’m giving up trying to set it all in order and you’re getting the blog equivalent of a fish.

10 Unrelated points in an order that pleases me.

1. I have a wicked huge deadline. This means that I will likely only become more and more disorganized, cranky and weird. I am apologizing in advance. Sorry. The worst symptom of this need to finish up some writing has been an urge to begin some knitting. I may have to bury a fair bit of my yarn if I hope to get this book done.

2. Yesterday, as I was riding into the school parking lot to pick up Meg, I hit a bump and the milk crate I have strapped to the back rack of my bike tipped over and my brand new really great bicycle pump fell on the ground. I pulled over, swore and turned around to go pick it up. As I was walking up to it, a car full of teenaged boys drove up to it, the driver hopped out, looked at me and picked up my pump from the ground. I thought he was getting it for me, so I kept walking towards him (I’m about 4 metres away) when he gets back in his car and the whole bunch of them drive away with my pump while I yell “HEY! HEY!”

3. While I was fuming at them, completely agog that someone would have the nerve to steal your stuff while you were looking at them, I pondered aloud how nervy the teens were. Meg looked at me and said “Mum, they are teenaged boys. They don’t care about some old lady on a bike.”

4. I am taking the fact that I am an old lady and that my stuff is being stolen out from under my hands as a sign that Lee Ann will continue to do well. The attempts by well meaning knitters to embrace disaster on Lee Ann’s behalf over the next days are touching. (I am especially proud of Miss Ewe, who has offered to try and “door” me if she sees me. )

5. I didn’t start the lace on Icarus. I couldn’t risk it. I dragged the Roundabout Tank out of the WIP basket and went back to that.


I’d love to be able to wear this when I’m on tour in hot places, and since I leave to go on tour to hot places in a week and a bit…I’m back on it. I figured that after my old lady bike pump got stolen while I was watching, that I could trust that this might go OK.

6. That is probably wrong.

7. I updated the tour page. There are some places that would like RSVPs, and several places where the talk has been booked in one place and the signing in another.

8. This is because there are so many knitters. (I find this really funny, since events being rebooked into bigger venues because there are so many knitter cracks me up. It also makes me want to hurl on my sandals when I realize that I’m supposed to talk to them. I’m a woman of contrasts.) I’m both really excited to be going back on the road, and terrorized beyond all possible thought. Everytime I get really worried I say to myself “It’s just knitting. It’s only knitters. I talk to knitters all the time and knitting is my favourite only topic. I will be fine.” This approach has varying degrees of emotional success, but so far, I always get on the plane.)

9. Fruit and Veg baby hats for breastfeeding can be sent here:

Jeanne M Conboy ,MS RD

Sr Public Health Nutritionist

Richmond WIC Office

100 38th St

Richmond, CA 94805

Don’t forget she needs them by the end of the month.

10. I updated the Knitters Without Borders total. ($117,087) This includes the roughly $1700.00 raised by the pins so far. (I’ll have the pins with me again this time.) I am absolutely stunned by the total. Look for a celebratory round of prizes soon.

*My favourite light bulb joke is actually –

How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Same number it takes to screw anywhere else.