Be prepared

They say (the “they” in this case being the weather forecasters) that a big storm is headed my way. (Indeed, while I was writing this the snow has started, and it’s a pretty respectable display. Thundersnow too.) They are always predicting this horrific weather, which I suppose is fair, what with this being March in Toronto, but the whole “get prepared, go buy milk, rush around being worried” thing is lost on me. It’s a snowstorm, not a tidal wave or a massive hurricane. I imagine that when my laissez faire attitude bites me on the arse by leaving me with no milk for cereal when the big one finally hits I will be properly repentant, but that’s not today. So far, about twelve people (one of whom was carrying enough toilet paper to service a bunker for the duration of the apocalypse) have asked me if I am ready for the storm.

I’m not sure what “ready” means. Emotionally ready? Physically ready? I live in the city. Though I would undoubtedly prepare differently if I lived further out, here there are three grocery stores, five corner stores, a beer store, a liquor store, a police station, a fire station, two hospitals and about ten thousand of my fellow humans (eleven of whom I am related to) within walking distance (no matter how poor the weather) of my house. Frankly, any weather that would mean my family was in danger that I couldn’t solve with those considerable resources is not going to be fixed with 4L of fresh milk. (The queue at the grocery store would indicate that most of my neighbours somehow believe that they are either about to be struck by a storm that will shut down Canada’s largest city for six weeks, or that they do not live in Canada’s largest city.) Thusly, beyond the few things that every household should have in the event of an emergency (like candles, canned goods and water) I have prepared more personally. My personal storm emergency kit includes the following.

Freshly washed wool socks for every member of the family.

A decent bottle of red wine.

Six beers.

Two rented movies.


My wits.

A pot of coffee

A pot of soup

Cheese and crackers

A small bottle of Glenlivet (if things were very bad)

An extensive stash of wool (both for insulation and entertainment)

My children (both for insulation and entertainment)

Frankly, any weather (or personal) emergency that cannot be handled with one of the above is too horrible to even contemplate.

Let it snow.