Pop Quiz

What do you get if you mix a sick knitter who’s been working flat out for 25 days with her home and no commitments?

Apparently, nothing.

I got home on Sunday and stopped, or maybe the world stopped me. I’m not sure. The cold I’d been fighting off for days landed on me foursquare and my wool and I went to bed. Or Chesterfield, or chair or anywhere at all that wasn’t vertical. I’m feeling a little better today, but my expectations of myself are very low. Very. I knit a little bit. Before I went down hard though…I was in Kentucky, but before I tell you anything else, I want to talk about Fifth Third Bank.

I, like everyone else in the world, has had a scam/phishing email from Fifth Third Bank. (Turns out that 98.13% of phishing emails are about it. Who knew?) So I would get these emails, urging me to do do any number of things. Send them my personal information, log onto a website and clear up some misconceptions, respond with my correct credit card number…all that stuff that a bank would never, ever ask you to do online. Every time I got one of them I marvelled at the stupidity of these guys. I mean, if you’re going to try and trick me into giving you my personal information so you can rob me blind…at least come up with a plausible name for a bank!

Fifth Third Bank. C’mon. Seriously. Who’s going to believe that’s really the name of a bank? I chalked it up to someone with a poor grasp of English trying to make it sound official and missing the mark by a whole lot. Fifth Third. No way.

Then I’m walking down the street in Lexington and what do I see?

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Dudes! It’s a real bank! Seriously! I just can’t believe it. Does this simply STUN anyone else? Fifth Third Bank. Unbelievable.

It messed with me the whole time I was there. Every time I saw it I had to boggle. I managed not to boggle at it in front of these guys though. (I think.)

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Since it was a book fair just full of authors, the ladies of Magpie Yarns were able to gather a car-full of knitting book mojo. That’s Susan B. Anderson (Itty Bitty Hats ) in the back with the brown hair. (On the left. On the right is an editor…and not that I don’t love editors, because she was charming, but I don’t recall her name.) Then front left is Ann Hood (The Knitting Circle) and Stefanie Japel (Fitted Knits). All lovely. (Remember folks, I’m just linking through Amazon because it’s fast and easy. Support your local independent bookstore where you can.)

I met knitters en masse…

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and free-range. Here’s Denise and Melanie, come all the way from Georgia.

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(I don’t actually know if that’s far. It sounded really far. It could be that I think it’s far because Georgia is really far from Toronto but not so far from Lexington, Kentucky…they teach us about as much American geography in Canadian schools as they teach you Canadian Geography in American schools, so who knows. Maybe I’ll google it when I don’t have a cold anymore.)

Kelly,

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Ambie, with the most used, stained, mangled copy of Knitting Rules

I have ever seen. It had coffee all over it, the pages were folded down, she had notes in it…

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I was very flattered. It looked like a book that had been useful. (Since I write mostly useless books about knitting, I was quite chuffed.) She got the new one too, I hope it has at least a few crumbs in it by now. I look forward to seeing it similarly abused- though it isn’t a very useful book.

Cami was asked to make socks that don’t match.

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It’s giving her a twitch. She’s a woman after my own heart.

Holly postponed her wedding to hang with knitters.

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(I’d call her crazy but I thought about doing it when I found out that Tracy Ullman was coming to Toronto to talk about her book on my wedding day. Had already sent the invites though.)

Joanne,

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Who I know in from the internet and was trying her best to look like a Canadian (that was the plan…right Joanne?) wearing her very best woolies. Fabulous socks…yes? (It was hot in Kentucky. Joanne looked – besides fantastic, like I always do…warm.)

Finally, Sue,

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with a wee felted beaver (that sounds dirty, I know) that she made me because I’m “a busy beaver”. (Get your minds out of the gutter.)

I went back to the hotel room after all this excitement with many knitters (and after a meal with my stalker Brooke and her team of stalker-ettes) and fell down. Totally. Slept for an ungodly amount of time and then got up and went to two local shops. Rebelle (lovely shop, very funky and has a wonderful mother/baby care shop in the back.) and Magpie Yarn. (No website, so that’s just a map and phone #) The Magpie ladies (Jane and Diane) seen here in their beautiful shop

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…opened the store for me (even though they are closed on Sundays) and let me poke around having a grand time. There may have been a small yarn accident. (Not my fault…it was Rowan Yarns. I am helpless.) More about that later. For now, I’m off to do some recuperating, coughing and sneezing…and

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Knitting. Peace out.

(PS. Lene wanted a horse picture. This is Calumet farms

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with a horse. It’s hard to see, but it’s there.)

219 thoughts on “Pop Quiz

  1. There’s a Fifth Third Bank in my town – no, I don’t bank there. The name’s too weird and I prefer to keep my money with the local guys. Sure missed seeing you when you were so close to home. The last time I saw you was in Oklahoma City last year when I was on vacation. Maybe I need to go to Hawaii this year and you’ll come too?? Get well soon!

  2. ps. Did you ever find out what was wrong with your dishwasher? I had guessed liquid dish soap by a teen instead of the real automatic dish washer soap. Cuz it happened to me too! πŸ™‚

  3. Fifth Third Bank, eh? I’m not sure I’d want to park my money at a bank that’s only 6.7%. Hope you recover soon!

  4. Feel better soon. My kids got a nasty flat-on-their-butts cold too and if you have the same one I feel for ya.
    I like the cabled square on the left. Gonna tell us what it is?

  5. Living near the US border most of my life, I’d heard of Fifth Third many many times. All that US tv influence. It is a strange name. I find myself pondering it sometimes, for no particular reason.
    Speedy recovery to you!

  6. One of the things I brought home from camp was a cold. I slept most of last week and am just now feeling human enough to start petting all of the yarn I bought there. Take lots of naps, drink lots of tea and feel better soon.

  7. Fifth Third boggled me the first time I saw it too. Then I thought it was a great name, until I learned it had merely come about through the merging of Fifth Bank and Third Bank. Now I’m indifferent. I don’t bank there either.

  8. The boring explanation is that there was a merger between Fifth bank and Third bank. Dull, but iirc true.

  9. I’m sorry the cold knocked you down :o(
    I was so happy to finally meet you in KY this weekend, Stephanie! And I had to giggle over the Fifth/Third thing; that’s where I do my banking; they absorbed my previous bank (that sounds bad doesn’t it?)

  10. Get well soon!!! I had a feeling that it all had caught up with you and that you needed some serious time to shut out the world and recuperate.
    As for the Fifth Third Bank, this is what happens when the Fifth National Bank merges with the Third National Bank. Of course, being bankers you wouldn’t want them to get too creative with their naming. They are supposed to look after our money after all and I’m really not in favor of any union of creativity and accounting.
    Per Wikipedia: “Because the merger took place during a period when prohibitionist ideas were gaining popularity, it was believed that “Fifth Third” was better than “Third Fifth,” which could be construed as a reference to three “fifths” of alcohol.”

  11. Sorry about the double post. I got an error message while posting and thought it didn’t post at all, but somehow it posted twice.
    I’m going to tempt fate and try to post this now. Let’s see how many times this little gem appears in the comments thread.

  12. Dear Stephanie,
    I just finished your book and I find it very useful and very funny…. stop underestimating your powers! I think you’re a wonderful writer. And you’re not too bad with sticks either πŸ˜‰

  13. I had the same reaction when I saw the FTB was really a real bank. And to the Spammers who first sent me the name. (As an aside, my friend Tiffany got Spam the other day with the subject line “Disney Lesbian Porn.” No, I’m serious.)
    Illness is the body’s way of making you actually listen to your own needs. Sucks. But try to listen, okay, Steph? Because if you don’t take care of yourself –liquids, vitamins, rest, low expectations for everything –you. Will. Get. Something. Worse. Learn from my stupidity: I got a cold, and then another cold, and then pnuemonia and then, when that didn’t stop me –ta da–CANCER. Apparently, I’m not so good at listening to my body even after all of that (cancer-free for twelve years now) since I had almost walked through the bottom of my foot before I decided to go to the doctor to see why my foot was bothering me. (It only took me four YEARS.) So, now I’m on the couch, recovering from reconstructive foot surgery and entering my fifth(third) week on crutches.
    Sorry to go on (and on) but seriously, look at your good, hard-working body and treat it like someone else’s body –someone you love. Give it every creature comfort it desires– heck, it deserves it after the Chicago airport experience alone. It will repay you in glorious, healthy time to knit and write. Off my soapbox and back to being mostly silly, Barb

  14. I used to bank at Fifth Third (they’re headquartered in Cincinnati and their name is a result of a bank merger), but I got tired of their snotty attitude, so I switched banks. But the phishing is absolutely not their fault–and I keep getting phishing stuff from Royal Canadian Bank, too, but it’s not their fault either. Ditto PayPal and several other banks. I can’t believe people fall for that stuff when they don’t even have accounts there….
    Abby

  15. I totally understand boggling at Fifth Third Bank. The first time I saw one, it had apparently just been put in, because I was walking to a bus station on a street I walk down at least three times a year and had never seen it before. I was walking down the street very late at night, no one was around, and I looked over and saw this . . indescribably weird bank. The name couldn’t possibly be real, could it? And there was no one around to ask. It felt like being in an episode of the Twilight Zone, where something is subtly wrong, but not quite enough to induce panic, until the pedestrians turn out to be giant mole people or cannibals or something.

  16. Good grief. I catch a cold and mope about how it’s just too haaaaaaard to blog because I’m siiiiiiiick. Meanwhile, you catch a cold and still manage to delight us with a travelogue, fetching pictures of fetching knitters and even a little Fifth Third Bank comedy. You are nothing if not awe-inspiring.
    (Get well soon.)

  17. Stupid fraction name. My parents bank there, and I always want to call it One and Two-Thirds, just to be contrary. And because it consumed the friendly local bank – conglomeration makes me crazy.

  18. Love the new book! Hope you can stay home long enough to get well again and rested too.

  19. Hope you start feeling better soon. It has taken about a week for me to start feeling human again. Camp was fun and I really enjoyed your class.
    Frieda

  20. Hope you are feeling better by the time you get to the comments. Can you please tell us/me what is that lovely piece of aran/celtic/texture knitting in this post? BTW, I have visited Calumet Farms…lovely, eh?

  21. Perhaps recovery isn’t the best time to mention this, but your event at WEBS in Northampton is SOLD OUT, not that it actually cost anything to begin with (I hope). The venue holds 375, and there are already that many signed up.
    WEBS says it is looking for another venue, but I don’t believe them. Northampton is host to several colleges, and the county fairground is 5 mins from the original site, so how hard can it be? I’d mention open air options as well, but that would be inviting rain.
    If anyone in the area has any bright ideas?
    Please ask the wonder-publicist to kick butt. Politely. You aren’t only a knitter/writer any more, you are a happening!
    ****Really**** hope to see you soon

  22. So sorry you don’t feel well. I got over something just last week. It was awful. When I’m sick is the only time I really wimper about not being married – because I have to go to the drugstore and pour my own juice. Hope your troops took good care of you.

  23. Kentucky is wonderful, I loved visiting Mammoth Caves when I was there. Too bad you didn’t have more time to visit. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  24. Doesn’t it suck how a body will, without fail, succumb to illness right when your brain is ready for some serious r&r?
    I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now how I might entice you to return to Maine on your tour so I can hear you speak. According to the Tim Horton’s commercials, you Canadians love their coffee… we have them all over the place here! Plus, people in the US always seem to think Maine is part of Canada anyway (sidenote: in third grade I had a penpal from Alabama who asked if we had igloos and what it was like to speak French all the time), so maybe you wouldn’t get TOO homesick…. Come back! We also have really good beer.

  25. they teach us about as much American geography in Canadian schools as they teach you Canadian Geography in American schools, so who knows
    Thank heavens! I have always felt guilty and a little on-my-heels because I was sure y’all knew more about us than we did about you. Georgia is a long way away; if it’s not on the East Coast, everywhere is a long way away from everywhere else.
    Feel better, Steph, and fix the sick before you try to do anything else. We’re knitters; surely we can find something to keep us busy if you’re down for a few days.

  26. Mercy mercy Stephanie , please take care of yourself and that dreaded cold. My friend got it too and NOW she has pneumonia even tho she had a pneumonia shot. The Dr. said it was a different strain. Don’t let it go too long with out getting it checked out by your Dr. as she did .Thank you for the posting inspite of it tho. Thank goodness you have a bit of time at home to recoup .

  27. I was wondering what had happened to you! Hope you feel better and fast.
    I finished Cast Off the other day … while at the gym. I, the master of multitasking, have trouble with the idea of wasting time by working out. Cast Off was perfect gym reading because I didn’t have to think TOO hard, but could just enjoy. Great job!

  28. I find it remarkably coincidental that your illness comes on the heels of a “small yarn accident.”

  29. The aran looks like a swatch for a Cookie A sock. Take the time to get the rest your body is craving. Snuggle up to Joe for a while. Hug the munchkins. And revel in being Home!
    Then get off your arse and get back to knitting, spinning and flying off to sign books. And laughing and enjoying meeting all these people out here who make up “The Blog”.
    Classic Kentucy shot of fences, grass and horse. I definitely need to get a better camera. My shots from camp came out horrible. I’m trying to thank everyone who has posted pics from camp for helping me retain the memories. Here’s yours- Thank you Stephanie for posting pics from Camp Cockamamie. I had a wonderful time and hope it can be repeated next year. Happy Knitting, Alice

  30. I hope you feel better soon! Get lots of rest, and I hope Joe spoil you with tea and Kleenex.
    Here’s a hint my sister and I developed: to give your long-tail cast on a fighting chance, wrap the tail around your thumb. You can remember this since both “tail” and “thumb” start with “t.” This way the yarn that wraps around the circumference of the needle comes from the ball (a much bigger source of yarn).
    Take care!

  31. Excellent horse picture! Sure, the horse could be… erm… more horse-like (as opposed to a dark teeny dot), but given the context, it’s clearly a horse and that’s all I wanted. Thanks!
    And yes. That bank thing has messed with my head for days now.

  32. Oh, doesn’t that just figure? I always get sick the moment I have time to stop running. I just had a four-day mini-vacation in L.A. and got a cold right off the bat. (That didn’t stop me from visiting Knit Cafe and Black Sheep Knittery, but I suppose it’s telling that I only hit two yarn stores.)
    The cold was gone in 24 hours, due to my religiously taking ColdCalm every two hours. It’s homeopathic, made by Boiron, and it works really well if you take it when they tell you to. Can you get that in Toronto? That and extra vit C and Reiki (I did the Reiki myself). (And no, I don’t work for them or hold stock in their company or anything like that.)

  33. Fifth Third Bank makes me laugh every time I see it, it’s such a ridiculous name. It was great seeing you in Lexington, and I hope you feel better soon!

  34. OH! You’re working on the gansey!!! I can’t wait to see it on Joe! – Also, love the cables on the cream. What’s that going to be?
    Yep, Fifth Third is big in Ohio. I think I got my first mortgage through them?….
    I hope you feel better soon and get more time to stay at home and rest, knit and, of course, blog. I miss your home stories about Joe and the girls. Hope everyone is doing well!

  35. Dang! It sounds like everyone had a blast here in Lexington! And I missed out, because of a camping trip! OH, Well, will have to catch you in the area another time.
    Wish you had had more of a chance to see a bit more of KY though. We really have a lovely state here:) It’s not all about horses….hehehe….Although, I think there might be more horses than people here…lol
    And, yep, I bank at 5th3rd! Service stinks, but it was handy when I lived in Tenn for a year. Was able to bank in KY & TN:)

  36. I work in the banking/treasury industry, and all my friends at Fifth Third Bank like to say that they are “Two-thirds better than other banks”. Hmmm. There are weirder names of real banks, like Umpqua Bank in Idaho……

  37. I too think that 5/3 bank is the dumbest name for a bank. They have them all over the Chicago area. Isn’t that the bank that caused so much trouble for the STR girls and the sock club? Maybe I’m just making that up.

  38. I agree with you … Fifth Third is a stupid name that isn’t a real name at all. If it was Fifty Third Bank, than maybe. Do you think it was lost in translation and it was suppose to be Fifty Third all along? Well I wouldn’t bank there anyway. ~~get well

  39. After the audiobook recording session, I was wondering if you had any voice left. Rest and swatch and feel better in time for the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival September 7-9 (oops, did I HINT that OUT LOUD? Sorry if I hurt your ears Jayme).

  40. Georgia is not as far as you’d expect it to be, and the assumption that it’s a lot farther goes both ways: I am constantly being asked by people here in Georgia how long a drive it is for me to get home, and they never believe me when I say it’s only thirteen hours. That’s to Windsor, of course, so add 3 and a half to 4 hours for Toronto. Still, a drive you can do in a day. When my partner visits me here he drives all the way home to Windsor in one go.

  41. It is a pretty good drive from GA to KY. KY is very pretty! I always loved the white fences, big houses and the horses. But then I would remember I had been in the car for 12 hrs and then thought my family should move there because I was so done with the damn car ride! Never mind the kids barfing and yelling in the back seat.
    Get better soon fair knitter! It looks like you had a great time!

  42. Um, I actually threw away the mortgage bill before I realized that Fifth Third bank held the loan. Hey, no one told me that was the name of the bank!

  43. We’ve got the right of it, you know….and the sooner that you accept it the better. :b Stay home, feel home, be home and drink that orange fizzy cold stuff that knocked you out the last time you exhasuted yourself for us. It’s the European (and therefore Canadian) version of Alka Seltzer.
    I also think that you might have been outed. Being terribly sick on the heels of losing a battle with some Rowan yarn and an impending package to sock. And you were the one who brought up phishy…
    I don’t know chickie.. (Or does have adolescent children make you a hen?)

  44. It’s a REAL bank?? No Way! I would have seriously boggled at the sight of that. I get more email from them (and some other banking places) than anyone else. I almost want to reply to them asking how stupid they think I am that I would give them that kind of info. But I don’t.
    Are you Frolic-ing on Saturday? I’ll be the one in the black/brown/grey Tuscany, stalking Amy for a picture…

  45. Fifth Third is my bank. I really like our local branch. However I should note that I have been banking there since it was “Old Kent” bank. The name change was a little hard to get used to.

  46. …I hate to tell you this, your Harlotness, but Fifth Third is everywhere, at least here in Michigan. It is inescapable. It also took over three weeks for The Bank of Improper Fractions to mail me my new credit card when I lost mine on my pilgrimage to see you in Ann Arbor.
    Feel better!
    ps- You’ve no idea how jealous I am you witnessed Calumet Farms.

  47. I have never been to Kentucky. I have been to Georgia, which is a minimum of two states away from Kentucky. I’m embarrassed to say I had to look that up. (US schools don’t do that great a job of teaching US geography either, never mind any other country’s. Supposedly about a third (not a fifth, a third) of Americans couldn’t name a single European country when asked.
    What is that cable pattern in the last pic but one?
    About WEBS… please, pretty please. My entire knitting group will travel 3 hours to WEBS and buy lots of their yarn if we can get in to see you.

  48. Oh yeah, Fifth Third. (Here in my town we call it 1 and 2/3!) It was First Third before that. Was it First National at one time? And before that it was Society Bank, I believe. Quite a list of names!
    Feel Better!

  49. If memory serves, Fifth Third Bank got their name because they are a merger of Fifth National and Third National banks. They thought it would be an unusual and easy-to-remember name.
    (I’ve always thought it was weird myself)
    I’ve always liked Banco Popular myself. They used to be something else, but then they decided to go after the Hispanic/Latino market and changed their name.
    /shakes head

  50. I’m sorry you are feeling poorly! I hope you are back to yourself as soon as practical. (You know, sometimes an extended cold is what we need to fully recover from the rest of life.) I never realized people didn’t know Fifth Third Bank is a real bank. I just figured the phishing people were being about as clever as they are when you get their mail from “Paypal” or “eBay” or “Citibank.”

  51. Stephanie, I confess I was starting to be just a little worried about you. Glad you’re on the mend — I hope they let you stay home long enough, at some point, to just take a day off without being sick. . .

  52. First time commenter, long time reader πŸ™‚
    I live in S. Indiana, and 5/3rd banks are everywhere here. There was a story on the news a few years back about a couple who got married in a local 5/3rd branch because it was his 5th marriage and her 3rd (or vice-versa, I can’t remember)!
    Love your travelogues. I hope feel well soon!

  53. Sounds like your body is telling you to take more care of yourself. Maybe I should follow my own advice since I was off work today with something similar!
    My Knitting Rules is similarly distressed *LOL*

  54. Fifth Third used to be our bank, and I always had trouble wrapping my mind around the name. It just seems wrong.

  55. Yup. Fifth Third Bank. You’d think that people who are familiar with numbers and accounting could come up with a name that makes sense. I’ve been amazed by it ever since I saw the first advertisment for it. What does it mean?

  56. Had a great time on Saturday and was happy to meet you. Read the new book that night. Hope you feel better soon.
    5th 3rd Bank is the result of the Third National Bank and the Fifth National Bank combining in the early 1900’s.

  57. Sorry you’re not feeling well! Really enjoyed Saturday…and yes, Georgia is several hours away from Lexington.

  58. Green tea. . . that’s the way to go with a cold (and a shot of brandy but I’m not “officially” recommending that)
    Ohh! I LOVED The Knitting Circle. . . cried through the whole thing practically. I am also loving your newest offering (laughing through the whole thing practically)

  59. I hope you feel better soon! Kentucky looks gorgeous and not frosty in the morning.
    Your arrows look as straight as mine do.

  60. Dude, do get some rest. I hope you get over the cold soon. There’s a Fifth Third Bank here in Denver and the first time I drove past it, I thought it was a joke. Whenever I do see it, I am totally boggled every time b/c it does not seem like a real name for a bank.

  61. Is there anyone who doesn’t have a bad cold? Mine started out mild – I thought it might be seasonal allergies. I went to my DD’s house for a few days & younger DGS & darling baby granddaughter both had runny noses. Now just about everyone in our family has the cold – me, DSiL, both DD’s, still the 2 youngest grands, SO. I have a (pre-scheduled routine) doctor’s appointment today & I almost feel too sick to go. I have felt so bad that the only knitting I’ve gotten done since Thursday night is the toe of one sock! And I do not feel clear headed enough to even start something new. Help – I don’t know how to cope with nothing on the needles. The shop Rebelle looks so great, I may have to visit Lexington. I love the Ellie Pooh/.

  62. Forgot to say – your reaction to Fifth Third Bank is exactly the same as mine the first time I heard it – what a weird name – I wonder if there is an interesting story behind it. I had the same reaction when I found out that notary publics can legally marry people in Florida.

  63. Hey Steph! At my kids school in Aloha just outside of PDX, the 6th graders do a big section on Canada. Each child has to choose a different province, do a huge project on it, then share the report with the class. With 3 kids we’ve learned about British Columbia, Quebec & Nunivet (sp?).

  64. I figured you were sick, what with all that traveling and speaking and flying. Rest, knit and have lots of juice and chicken soup. And hon? Your books are so far from useless that it’s hysterical. I find tips, patterns, ideas and when all else fails, laughter to relieve the hysteria that is my life.
    Kentucky. *sighs* I was there on a family trip decades ago when the rules were more relaxed. You could drive in, walk up to a groom and hold the lead of a Derby winner to have your pic taken, then wander around looking at the beautiful broodmares and their itty bitty future chamption foals. Sadly, horsenapping (there is such a thing!) put an end to gracious Southern hospitality at least in this area, and now you have to take tours and make appointments. . .

  65. Is it just me, or do the yarn bins in that picture at Magpie Yarns look like the chart for a cable pattern?
    Hope you feel better soon.

  66. Looks like a bunch of people have already mentioned the origin of the Fifth Third name…my dad works there in WV, so I get to hear the name every time I call him at work πŸ™‚ We thought the name was pretty strange when he started working there too.

  67. First of all – COME TO EVANSVILLE, INDIANA!!! Get Jamie the WP to check out our town!!! I am so jealous of all the people that have gotten to see you! I want to,too!!! (We have the stupid Fifth Third Bank here, too. And yes, it IS the MOST ridiculous name for anything ever.)
    Secondly, I bought your new book for me for my birthday (I love buying gifts for myself – they are always just what I wanted) and read it that day! LOVED IT! I have now read all of your books and have enjoyed them all tremendously, with KNITTING RULES being my all-time fave.
    You have the wonderful combo of intelligence, heart & soul, and a wacked-out sense of humor – and the wordl is a better place for your sharing those gifts with all of us!
    Number 3: You have convinced me that I simply have GOT to learn how to make socks and so I am signed up for my first sock class on May 24. The instructor asked me what method I wanted to learn: DPN, 2 circulars or the Loop and I chose DPN in honor of you and all your declarations about how wonderful it is. I also feel like to become a true Knitter and not just a plain knitter, I need to learn to use DPNs. So… we shall see!!! I am psyched! After learning from you so much more about socks and all the cool places I can find yarns and patterns, I cannot wait to get going. I am ordering yarn from Blue Moon and the Loopy Ewe this week! YAY for YARN!
    Last of all, I read Ann Hood’s book this week while on vacation and I LOVED it. I had read the Friday Night Book Club the week before. While it, too, was good, I could see Ann’s book making just as good a movie, if not better. I wonder if anyone else feels that way? She seems like she would be a cool person to meet!
    GET BETTER SOON!

  68. My husband works for 5/3. So, they provide a little over half our family income–I have nothing bad to say about them. πŸ™‚
    They love the 3rd of May though (It’s 5-3 day!).
    And my husband and I do too – That is the day that they give out pay raises. πŸ™‚

  69. I met you last year in Lexington, but this year we moved from Louisville to Israel (where people don’t knit) and I sadly didn’t get to see you this year. Thanks for posting the picture of Calumet – Kentucky in the spring is just gorgeous! Get well soon.

  70. Get well soon!!
    It sounds like a great trip. Any plans to come down around DC on this tour? No pressure, I could always use an excuse to go back to NYC!

  71. ok i just thought id share this with you cause i thought youd get a kick out of it.
    this is why i love knitting- i just spent 45 minutes trying to google “bees” (as in bumble) becuase i am trying to knit my nephew a bumble bee toy and i dont know weather they start black or yellow! i mean, i know that theyre striped but is the head yellow or black? and i care about bees heads why? becuase i knit. ergo, knitting is the coolest and randomest thing ever.

  72. I like the look of both the cream swatch and the gray cables; my kind of knitting. I look forward to hearing what they are.
    At my knitting circle last week, I showed off my copy of Casts Off; acquired by virtue of pre-ordering through my LYS. Multiple knitters commented on how much useful stuff was in Knitting Rules!
    As we have our own domain and get so much spam that the ISP prefilters in addition to our filters, I’ve never seen a 5/3 spam that I recall. Something more to look forward to now that I have a separate e-mail address to go with my new blog.

  73. A long time ago I worked for the bank and learned the origin of the name. Apparently back during prohibition Fifth National Bank merged with Third National Bank, and they thought that 5/3 was more appropriate name than a calling themselves a third of a fifth! (and I agree – the bank in generally really sucks, I got out of there as soon as I could)

  74. Oh man, I can’t believe I’m up there. Wow. According to Google maps, from my place to Lexington is 10hrs35mins or 686 miles. But since I went on a bus to Melanie’s to Athens on the way there, the trip ended up being much, much longer. So, yes, we are NUTS. But I’d do it again! I had a great great time!!!! Thanks for the unicorn pictures, Abi (my 6 year old knitter) LOVES them!

  75. Why is it that when you say you did “a little bit” of knitting, I can only imagine it’s probably still more than I could knit in two weeks? (Maybe I’m getting faster, though. I’m about three inches into a sock I started yesterday–my first sock, actually. Your book convinced me to give it another try. It’s going much better than the last few tries did.)
    When I first moved to Ohio I giggled every time I saw a Fifth Third Bank.

  76. Recognized the editor sitting behind Stephanie Japel as her editor Jessica–picture on Stephanie’s blog @ glampyreknits.com–not that you were asking–around here I’m known as the Queen of Trivia.
    I know you’re battling a cold but what I’m curious about is how you handle the jetlag–with all your travelling back and forth through different time zones, do you not get “fried”? I’ve spent the last 3 to 4 days wandering around like a zombie having only done one trip –what IS your secret? Sniffing exquisite wool (aromatherapy) as often as possible? Do tell!

  77. When I moved to Cincinnati as a newlywed in 1985, and saw my first 5/3 bank sign – I thought it was the strangest bank name I’d ever seen. Now that they’ve bought banks in my hometown of Indianapolis, I live in Colorado – saw you in Denver – woo hoo!, I still find it very strange every time I go home, and still have no clue what the name could possibly mean that would make sense.

  78. Having been a banker for 20 yrs, I could have told you about 5th 3rd hee hee. It is a silly name for a bank, even bankers think so. I also happen to find you books very useful. When not learning something about knitting or fiber, laughing is especially soul enriching. Especially right now. Thank you:) {{CHICKEN SOUP}}

  79. My old stomping grounds!!! I went to college in Wilmore, KY which is about 20 minutes south of where you were – and yes, Georgia is still a goodly ways away, though closer than it is to Toronto. Hope you enjoyed Lex – it’s a great little city. If you ever go back, you should check out Common Grounds Coffee house – it’s great!

  80. I bank at Fifth Third and actually interviewed there many moons ago and had to ask about the silly name. The name comes from when the Third National Bank and the Fifth Bank of something-or-the-other merged and for a lock of anything better to call it the powers that be settled on Fifth Third.
    Feel better soon.

  81. I wish I would have known about your quandary over the existence of the Fifth Third Bank! They own the part of my car that is still not paid for! πŸ™‚ (That would be the loan on my car.)
    Maybe next time you could travel to the other side of KY, closer to southern IL…I would be OK with that…hey, you could come to the grand opening of the yarn shop that opened 6 blocks from my house – scary, I know!
    Hope your feeling better soon – I just got over that! Ick!

  82. First time I saw a Fifth Third bank, I thought, “What a stupid name for a bank!”. It may be a very good bank, but it is still a stupid name. Sorry Fifth-Third, really don’t mean to hurt your feelings. πŸ™‚
    Steph, hope you don’t have the “bug” I had. It took three weeks to get over the first time and the second time (yup, again) it took two weeks with four prescriptions. Take care, Gloria in GA

  83. I bought a van about 5 years ago, and the financing was through Fifth Third. I thought it was weird – and get this – their website is 53.com. Shouldn’t that be 5th3rd.com?
    Sorry I couldn’t make it to Kentucky – while it’s closer to North Carolina than you’ve been, it was still a bit far for me. How about Atlanta? I could do that!

  84. I live in Toledo, OH and we actually have Fifth Third Field! The bank bought the naming rights to our minor-league baseball park, where the Toledo Mud Hens play (International League Governors’ Cup Champs two years running!)
    I used to bank at Fifth Third, too, but they are awful and I switched banks a few years ago. I never really thought about the name until I saw a sign that said 5/3 rather then spelling out the words – then I thought of what a dumb name, merger or not!

  85. Thank you for dragging yourself to the keyboard. You made our days much easier and happier. Now we don’t have to worry so much. We will still worry about you and send you positive, healthy energy to recuperate with, but at least now, we know you are still around – after all, you are knitting, even if just a bit – that is such a good sign!
    Thanks again for gifting yourself to us even when you’re under the weather.

  86. Hmm, I’ve never heard of Fifth Third Bank, all the phising e-mail I get is from a local Credit Union, or e-mails telling me I’ve won 2 million pounds in the UK lottery, and if I’d only put in my credit card they’ll transfer to money to my account…Ha, you think the credit card company is just going to let you give me 2 million pounds? They’re more apt to take it from me than give it to me!
    Anyway, sounds like Kentucky was lots of fun, and I hope you get some rest!

  87. Dude, if you think fifth third bank is hilarious, we also have a fifth third ballpark here in grand rapids. seriously.

  88. I had never heard of the Fifth Third Bank until I moved to Chicago, but they are everywhere here! I thought it was a joke, too – what a stupid name. And my first thought was, “FIFTH Third? Dudes – what happened to the FIRST FOUR???” I didn’t know about the phishing association, though.
    Hope you feel better soon!!

  89. I was complaining about all the junk mail and pfishing I was getting from First Third Bank while I was getting my nails done. The previous client was still there, letting hers dry, and she informed me that not only is the bank real (she’s from Kentucky), but that they were building a branch not two miles from here (West St. Louis County!) We need more yarn shops, not banks.

  90. The woman with her well-loved copy of Knitting Rules is SO my speed. I will try to live up to her ways, I think all I’ve managed to do is curl the bottom a little bit from holding it in the bathtub. Gotta start dog-earing a bit more πŸ˜€

  91. I asked my mother to explain the logic of Fifth Third’s name to me and she attempted to do so but I was still lost. I think it had something to do with them going over and above the call of duty. Maybe that’s where the pfishing emails come in.
    Hope you feel better! Sleep! And tea!

  92. OK, I give up. What is “chuffed?” You’ve said it before. I know a little Canadian ‘cuz I live 1.5 hours from Sarnia, but I don’t know that word. I can tell it’s really good, anyway!
    Get well. Rest and be selfish when you can, in between the times when your time is not your own. I was teaching in Dallas last week and we leave tomorrow in the wee hours for New York City to sing there. There wasn’t enough time between trips but I did make time for a few selfish things in there. I hope I get to knit a lot in the car on the way there.

  93. Our mortgage got sold to Fifth Third Bank a while ago; it did feel very weird to write out checks to them. We consoled ourselves that at least our mortgage wasn’t owned by Third Fifth Bank.

  94. From my town in Georgia (which the county I live borders Florida), it is 622 miles from Lexington.
    Most other people in Georgia live closer to Lexington than we do.
    Hope you feel better soon.

  95. Hope you’re feeling better. I swear by Airborne. I teach 3-year-olds, so it’s basically like immersing yourself in a petri dish. I take it every day and I’ve been able to avoid most of the nasties that have invaded my classroom.

  96. Stephanie…it was a real pleasure to finally meet you. And our trip from Georgia took about 7-8 hours, then Denise had another 5-6 hours beyond my house. But it was totally worth it! P.S. Jamie, please hook this woman up with a schedule through Georgia and Florida next time!!
    Much love and lots of wellness vibes!

  97. Once upon a time there was a local bank in my hometown called Cardinal Savings. My dad opened a CD there when I was just a tot for my college savings (you know, back when CD rates were still good). This bank was bought and sold twice before the CD rolled over and is now a 5/3. When the CD came due a representative from the bank called the house to talk to my dad about his reinvestment options. He was talking and talking and then finally my dad interrupted him and said, “Look, why don’t you just cut me a check and I’ll come get it.” And the guy said “but sir look at all these great options for you to reinvest with us.” And my dad said: “Yeah… I’m sure they are great options… but here’s the thing… I just don’t feel comfortable trusting my money to some bank called FIFTH THIRD. That doesn’t even make sense.” (pregnant pause) and the bank dude said, “Sir. I can’t blame you! There will be a check waiting here for you first thing in the morning.”
    Feel better NOW!

  98. Hmmm… You inspired me to look this up. From Wikipedia:
    Name
    Fifth Third Bank headquarters building in Cincinnati, OhioFifth Third’s unusual name is the result of the June 1, 1908 merger of two banks, The Fifth National Bank and The Third National Bank, to become The Fifth Third National Bank of Cincinnati.[3] Because the merger took place during a period when prohibitionist ideas were gaining popularity, it was believed that “Fifth Third” was better than “Third Fifth,” which could be construed as a reference to three “fifths” of alcohol.[4] The name went through several changes over the years, until on March 24, 1969, the name was changed to Fifth Third Bank. [3]
    WHO KNEW?!

  99. Oh gosh, the bit on 5/3 Bank is hilarious! I would refer to it as the “Bank of Improper Fractions” until, lo and behold, there I was sitting at a 401k meeting at my job and who walked in but a financial adviser from 5/3.
    He started his spiel with, “Everyone asks about the name — why would you call a bank 5/3. Well, the Fifth National Bank and the Third National Bank merged, and the merger, for ease, was known as the Fifth-Third merger. The initial plan was to change the name at the end of the deal, but people really liked it and the message it sent, so it stuck.”
    I have no idea what “message” Fifth/Third is supposed to send as a name, because it just amuses the heck out of me. This is why I keep my money at SunTrust, which has a much, much more sensible name, right? Trust in the sun, I suppose?
    Okay, maybe we just can’t name banks around here. πŸ™‚

  100. Get well soon!!!
    Oh yeah we have Fifth Third here too! My cousin is actually a branch manager there…The name has always made me wonder…….She had no answer for the dumb name either!

  101. You have truly enlightened me. I would never have believed that there was really a Fifth Third bank if you hadn’t taken a photo – with the sock no less. Hope you feel better soon. Happy knitting!!

  102. I agree, Rebelle is such a cute little store. I never got to make it to Magpie or any other stores the last time I was in KY.
    OMG the Fifth Third Bank. I would have totally wigged out too. It sounds like such a wackjob name.

  103. LOL, I’m almost ashamed to say that I’ve lived in central KY for over 10 years and never given much thought to the Fifth Third name!
    I’m happy to hear you had a great time in Lex. If it hadn’t been for the little thing of being carless, I would have been there in a heartbeat!

  104. I’m from Beavercreek, OH (just outside of Dayton and 5th/3rd Field!) and as far as the beaver….well, we have a “Busy Beaver” craft store here and there are 7 foot decorated beavers throughout the town. Our football peewee team is called the “Eager Beavers.” Let’s just say that I was none too pleased when my daughter wanted to cheer …oh well!
    Please come to Dayton!

  105. I love the look of the well-used book. My copy of At Knits End looks a bit like that – It has been lent to various Playcentre people (preschool my kids were / are at) and when I opened it a few days ago I noticed it has a liberal sprinkling of glitter all the way through.
    So it is now truly sparkling wit πŸ™‚
    Oh – it also has grass stains on the side but I’m not game to enquire about those *chuckle* – maybe from ROT_Grass_L ?!?

  106. Thanks for coming to Lexington, I had a great time at the book fair! I got sick Sunday morning but I’m blaming that one on my kids, they all had it last week.
    Yes, Georgia’s fairly far from Lexington, about a 4 1/2 hour drive down I-75 through Tennessee to the Georgia border. It’s 280 miles (450 km).
    I remember watching them build the Fifth Third tower from my freshman English class at Transylvania (http://www.transy.edu), about a mile north of downtown, back in 1985. We still call it the Big Blue Smurf D!ck. Twenty-two stories of blue mirrored glass, you can see it from just about anywhere in town. It has neon lights along the top at night.

  107. Hi Steph, I hope you have enough down time to recuperate. This traveling and being ‘on’ one day after another sure does take it out of you. It would take the energy out of anyone. Perhaps in the future you will have more say in how many stops per trip, etc.
    You sure are getting more and more famous. In our town we need to have signed up numbers of people promising to come see you to even get Jayme, the wonder publicist to call back.
    Sending lots of healing energy.

  108. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio (which is just north of Kentucky) and had my first bank account at Fifth Third Bank. After I married and moved far away, I closed the account. Fast forward more than a decade. I started getting emails supposedly from Fifth Third urging me to update my information, etc. I was suspicious of the emails, but a part of me was sure hoping that I had a forgotten stash of cash!! I didn’t know that the Fifth Third phishing was so prevalent. Don’t worry, the phishers got no response from me.

  109. We are so glad to hear from you just to let us know you are okay!
    I finished Casts Off last night and I cried real tears (on the outside, not just on the inside). The last two pages were so beautifully written and I know I will return to them again and again. I was also so sad I was done with the book (I was reading it very, very slowly to make it last). Thanks so much for writing such a funny, yet thought provoking book.
    My daughter, her husband and I are always laughing over the Fifth Third banks (just what is a Fifth Third Bank anyway?!?!?) that are in the Cleveland, Ohio area, so we SO enjoyed your post today regarding it! Rest and knit and rest and knit and…

  110. Hey, I’ve got the cold too! Sweeping SW Ontario… and, yep, it’s bad enough that I slept instead of knitting on a day off I took so I wouldn’t spread it to the world.
    Just wrote to say that friend Janice and I just shared birthdays and gifted each other with your new book. We are both enjoying it. Not too many crumbs yet but there will be.
    “Knitting Rules” is my Bible since I read your recipe/guide for sizing socks. It let me knit and felt the family set of slippers at Christmas and is already helping size similar socks for next Christmas. (Sure, I’m starting now… but realize the inevitability of midnight knitting on December 24…)
    Get well soon and enjoy the daffodils and forsythia.

  111. Get well soon!
    OK, I’m American and I have never heard of this bank! Is it only in the southern states? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any spam from them either! (although I do have a rocking spam filter so maybe it just didn’t make it through) What a bizarre name for a bank!
    It is May 30th yet?

  112. That’s a real bank?? I thought the phishers were too lazy to come up with a plausible name! LOL I keep thinking it’s some sort of Borg reference.
    Rest easy & get better.

  113. I thought it was hilarious how they had all the knitting authors lined up in a row at the book fair. I told my husband that they must have felt a need to keep the knitting craziness contained πŸ™‚
    ps My muggle husband and sister came along to your talk and are no longer making fun of the knitting πŸ™‚

  114. Ahh… Fifth Third Bank… silly Muggles… that’s a really really weird name,…

  115. Got to meet you there on Saturday =)
    It was amazing, your talk was amazing. Love your new book too.
    And I’m even in the side of one of the pictures!
    [I was the girl with the “don’t you wish your girlfriend could knit like me?” shirt.]
    Hope you get better soon!

  116. hee hee…we’re doing Hamlet–we had to read the description of the ghost with “his beaver up”–nobody does ‘gutter mind’ like bored Seniors…
    Feel better, Steph–it looks lovely in Kentucky!

  117. I guess the crash was inevitable, given your schedule, but no fun, no fun at all. Rest your weary, colding self lots, and think of nothing but self and family and lovely knitting for as long as possible. Oh, and I think that Holly definitely has her priorities straight!

  118. Looks like a great time… so many fabulous knitters!
    Fifth Third Bank… yeah. One opened up down the street from my work a few months ago. I thought it was a stupid name for a bank (or anything, really) too.

  119. Saw my first 5th Third Bank when we moved to the Midwest 5 years ago, and knew that I could not EVER use such a silly bank that uses fuzzy math. Sheesh!

  120. next time your in lexington , ky let me know i’ll hook you up with directions to the best kept secret in the area a little yarn store called stone’s throw artisans….it’s about 20 minutes away from lex but trust me it is easy to get there.And i can garuntee that they will be open any time that you want to drop in. any way check out the website (it is a work in progress)
    http://www.stonesthrowartisans.net

  121. Wow! I’m on the blog! NEATO–Thank you. It honestly was cold when I left home at 7 AM to make it to your talk. It’s just that I did begin to overheat by the time I saw you! That’s probably why I decided to model my socks right up there on the table. Normally I wouldn’t be that bold…:)
    Feel better, Steph. I’m grateful you came to Kentucky, and I hope you’ll recover soon!

  122. Pshaw! My Knitting Rules looks worse than that! Her’s doesn’t even have holes in it! Mine does, from being imprisoned in the knitting bag with pointy sticks, keys and (extremely rarely as they escape) scissors.
    I’m waiting for Cast Off to arrive in a book parcel (kind of like the Red Cross food parcels!) so I can take it with me to Sydney in a week’s time because they (Qantas) won’t let me knit on the plane. Thank goodness you published in time for my trip or I’d have been hell to fly with!

  123. Forgot to send some knitterly antibiotic get well vibes when I posted ealier. So I’m posting & vibing them now as we “speak”.
    btw- What is that lovely triangle becoming? Any hints, maybe????

  124. NEVER NEVER trust a bank that can not reduce fractions properly. Fifth Third bank should properly be called One and Two Thirds Bank.
    There, I said it.
    As a semi-proud employee of Bank Of America (not really of America, but who’s counting) I warn potential customers of this, and many other bank fraud schemes.
    For instance MBNA is/was a very large credit card company- they even owned the Cleveland Browns football team, not that that is much of an accomplishment, but it’s true.
    When asked “What does MBNA stand for?” The typical response was “Nothing.” Certainly that’s not a professional attitude to instill confidence in a financial institution. I want my bank to stand for something, preferably stability, customer advocacy, no fees, etc.
    Get well and tell us about the ‘yarn accident.’
    As for your lack of geographic knowledge of the United States, some of that can be blamed on the fact you are collecting U.S. state washcloths. You have admitted to having several Virginias and a couple of Ohios. I submit your map and your future success in touring the U.S is at risk. Best to call ahead.

  125. Get better.
    Just finished getting up to date on your blog (yes I need a life πŸ˜‰ ) and I have finished two of your books. “Knitting Rules” is next and I will be hunting down the latest before you arrive for the book signing next month.
    Thanks to you I cast on my first sock. Sorry that they are from Cat Bordhi’s book though. Using DPNs mainly for fingerless gloves these days.
    Now if I could just find an easy lace pattern that will only take 400 m of Alchemy’s Promise since dearest hubby won’t let me buy another skein of the same color (okay yarn period) till I gasp finish some of my WIPs (ps don’t tell him about the sock), I’m pretty much stuck with a small stole or something to try my hand at lace.
    Tiny Tyrant

  126. Fifth Third is pretty silly (I get the phishing email too) but the bank name that really kills me is Rabobank. They’ve started popping up here in California and the first time I saw one I nearly fell over laughing in disbelief. Rob-o-bank is how my West Coast brain reads that name.
    Also, I just got into the gusset of my first sock made using the recipe in Knitting Rules. Woohoo! The sock has taken up residence in my purse so I can get in a few rounds when I’m in the car and my husband is driving. πŸ™‚ I got to read some of Cast Off the other day while walking the floors trying to keep my 4 month-old daughter asleep in the Bjorn.

  127. Guess what you get when the Fifth National Bank buys the Third National Bank!

  128. Well well well, there you go – the fifth third bank is real! I am muchly elucidated cos I get those spams too.
    Misery loves company – I have a cold as well. Snurgle. Get well soon!

  129. Not only is it a ridiculous name for a bank, they are THE WORST bank ever. I swear. Charges out the wazoo, for whatever crazy reason they could come up with.
    We hate them.

  130. Little known fact: I spent six of my formative years living in Lexington. It is beautiful there and I would like to visit again someday.
    Take care!

  131. So did you go into the bank and demand to know how they got your email address and was this really a scam operation and what the heck is that name about????????

  132. Feel better! You’re always traveling around in airplanes and subjecting yourself to germs, domestic and foreign! You deserve total rest, although we (your blog readers) wonder and worry when we don’t hear from you. And yes, I did know Fifth Third Bank is for real. Crazy, ain’t it?

  133. “with a wee felted beaver (that sounds dirty, I know) that she made me because I’m “a busy beaver”. (Get your minds out of the gutter.)”
    Too. Many. Dirty. Jokes! (Falls out of chair). Okay, I’m better now. …nope, not better. I have a time share in the gutter so that sometimes I can crawl UP out of the recesses of my id. I’ll try the Psysol and mental floss again. Perhaps that will help.
    5/3 bank. Yup, they’re real. They have branches in Murfreesboro, but I can’t bring myself to do business with a bank that doesn’t deal in decimals. It’s 1.66(rep), for crying out loud!
    Atlanta is about a 6 hour drive from Murfreesboro and Lexington is about three hours. So, about ten hours with potty breaks? …Canada is (points up) up there, right? It’s that blank spot between us and Alaska. I hear you have snow.

  134. I’m from Dayton, OH and 5/3 was my first bank as a teenager. Now I use a credit union but I never even thought about how odd that name is. Especially for a bank. Someone wasn’t thinking when they came up with the merger name.

  135. We have Fifth Third Bank in central Florida, and my husband and I have spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to figure out “What we’re they thinking?!?” I wonder about what it could possibly refer to, but he can’t get over how awful a name it is for marketing repeatedly muttering, “how do they manage to cultivate business at all with a name like that?” Hey – that makes me think about your phishing stats and now I’m starting to wonder… (Kidding – nice people with ties to Fifth Third Bank.)

  136. The first time I saw a Fifth Third bank was before phishing, and my reaction was, huh? What a stupid name for a bank, what were they smoking? I swear I get phishing emails regarding every bank that exists though.
    Sorry to hear you’re sick. I’m kind of surprised you haven’t gotten sick before now with all you put yourself through. You’re way hardier than I am. Take it easy for a while. Get someone to make you some whole wheat crust tabouli pizza. I’d make you one, but it wouldn’t be very good by the time you got it if I mailed it…

  137. There are Fifth Third Banks in Florida too! Floridians would love Harlot on Tour, Orlando or West Palm Beach please! You need a sunny vacation!

  138. Hope your rest-and-fluids regime drives that cold away pronto.
    As long as folks are lobbying for a bigger venue for your WEBS appearance, I’ll join in. I was sorely diappointed when I found out that it was sold out — procrastinated too long again. Is there really a possibiity they could move it to a larger room?

  139. It was great seeing you at the book fair on Saturday! You did a fantastic job- and thanks for putting one Lex SnBer (Kelly) on your blog! And we called 5/3 “the improper fraction bank” (at least that’s what my aunt called it)- and they are indeed crooks. Get well soon!

  140. Hope you feel better soon! πŸ™‚ PS–> There is no way to compliment the wee felted beaver without sounding filthy. How cool is that?

  141. In my hometown (Rexburg, ID) we have a park named after a famous trapper named Richard Leigh. He trapped beavers, and he was called Beaver Dick. No lie. His wife was named Jenny, and it is after her that Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park is named. And if your French is even halfway good, you’ll know what all those trappers had on their minds when they first saw our wonderful mountains!

  142. My checking account is through 5/3, and I’ve never thought twice about the name, as I’ve grown up seeing it around (Michigan).
    I was also going to tell you that we have a 5/3 ballpark in Grand Rapids, MI, but someone named Lisa already told you that, so I guess I don’t need to.
    First comment, been reading for several months, not a knitter,
    Emma Catherine

  143. I was beginning to get worried about you. Hope you didn’t catch that cold thing from me in Denver. Doubtful, I was sitting in the back of the room. It’s a killer — never had a cold/cough/sinus infection/bronchitis quite like that before. Sleep is good. Drink tea (or just hot water) with lemon and honey.
    You take care of yourself.

  144. Maybe you need a better spam blocker.
    Columbus Ohio is filthy with 5/3rd banks, filthy with knitters, filthy with yarn shops and filthy with books stores. We’d love to be filthy with the Harlot.
    ps, I had a brief account with 5/3. I agree that it is a terrible bank. There are many other nice banks, so people, switch if you are unhappy.

  145. Having worked in banking in a past life (not so long ago), I knew that Fifth Third Bank was indeed a bank. It cracked me up when you were commenting on them coming up with a better bank name to use in the scam because when I first had to deal with that bank at work – I remember thinking it couldn’t be the right name for a bank. It is a supremely silly name.
    I hope you feel better soon.

  146. Here is a bit of perspective on the Kentucky/Georgia thing. I live near Fort Wayne, Indiana. Well, an hour away. But close. If I were to drive from my house to, say, Chicago, which looks close on a map, it would take me up to four hours. Four. That’s not including the traffic problems which I would undoubtedly hit in the city.
    From my house to Kentucky it is a six hour drive. Imagine. Six. And those two states are right next to each other!
    I once took a car trip from my house to Georgia. It took a full day of only driving and one part day. So, probably triple the time from my house to Kentucky. That’s a lot of knitting time.
    There is something to be said for airplanes.

  147. I didn’t read all the comments to see if anyone told you this yet but Fifth Third Bank has a wierd name because two banks merged, Fifth National Bank and Third National Bank, hence, Fifth Third Bank. I happen to have my truck loan through them, but not before I found out why the wierd name!

  148. I had begun to worry about you. After you are feeling better you could work on strategy to minimize the overwork/getting sick thing. No matter how much we bleat to see you in our towns, we don’t wish you illness as a result of running too hard. By the way, your books are heartwarming and that is worth a great deal. ( …chuffed? )

  149. Hi YH – glad to hear you are alive and feeling better.
    I am from Lexington, Kentucky and yes I knew about Fifth Third Bank. It is a weird name I agree. They were actually in Ohio before they came to KY … I think. Anyway I never much cared for them since they did not hire my green as grass self right out of college. (University of Kentucky in Lexington, btw.) Humph.
    Thanks for the photo of Calumet – the farms are pretty in the spring with the foals running around.
    For the record… Georgia is a ‘fur piece’ from Lexington but not as far as Toronto to Lexington if that tells you anything. Anyway the ladies made a sizeable road trip to see you. I would too. :>)

  150. An addendum about the phishing story… I live in the U.S. and consequently have always banked within the borders. (Driving 1,000 miles for an ATM withdrawal really sucks.) Anyway I too recently got a phishing email at WORK mind you (one of the big 3 U.S. credit bureaus no less) from none other than the Royal Bank of Canada. Needless to say our security team was not amused when I reported it.
    Those phishers must catch only pretty dumb phish.

  151. I flat-out refuse to bank with the Borg, but maybe that’s just me.
    We don’t have Fifth Third Bank down here in our corner of the South, but Bank One is all over the place and I’m pretty sure we have a monopoly on First Baptists.
    And if I ever get to travel overseas, and I see a branch of Fifth Third on the shore at the Firth of Forth? I will seriously need a drink.
    But enough with the numbers. WHAT A CUTE BEAVER! Now you can hang out with Winona and pet your wee brown beaver all the time. Of course, due to the completely pure and enlightened state of my mind, a wee brown beaver doesn’t seem naughty at all … but perhaps a bit unsanitary … wasn’t actual wee used in the production of felt long ago? Ick!
    Because of that, I’m glad we have our Mr. Washies.
    Get some sleep, feel better, and stop tripping on numbers. This must have got into your head at Imagine. Number nine, number nine, number nine…

  152. I get lot’s of those pishy emails. Mine come from the Canadian National Bank. Since reading your blog is the nearest I have ever got to Canada I find it amusing.

  153. I was wondering why we hadn’t heard from you lately. We missed you. Doesn’t it always happen that when you finally chill out after working and being on the go for a long time you get sick. What a bummer. I just find it amazing that you can knit such lovely things when you are sick as a dog! Feel better soon!

  154. We have a lot of Fifth Third Banks here, and the story I heard is that the original bank was on the corner of fifth street and third street. Still a ridiculous name.

  155. Get better, get better, get better. And rest. Giggled madly at Lene’s horse pic, but I agree with her. For us horse nuts, as long as we know that dot is a horse, we’re happy. LOL’d re the bank, even though I’ve never heard of them, via phishing or otherwise. But as another ex-financial employee, oh man. (S&L, tho, not bank.)
    And the beaver – heh, bring your wee beaver along when you get out to the West coast. Oregon’s nickname is the Beaver state, it’s our state animal, and it’s on our state flag. We have the Portland Beavers baseball team, and the OSU Beavers. (Which, during football season when playing their arch-rival the Oregon Ducks, leads to slogans such as, “Beavers eat Ducks!” and “Ducks eat Beavers!”) Umpteen businesses use ‘beaver’ in the name. We’ve got beavers everywhere you turn. In fact, now that you’ve mentioned Sue giving you one? Better watch out; you might be inundated in beavers when you get here. Sort of like that scene in Men With Brooms! (Sue, that is one cute beaver! And yes, I was able to type that with a straight face. I was born here. [g])

  156. Feel better! Your picture confirmed the existence of that bank for me.. I thought that my finance-industry-working husband was pulling my leg.

  157. AWH what no cave knitting?? You were right there near the longest cave in the US and no cave trip for the sock.. poor deprived sock.
    Get better SOON!If we don’t hear from you in a week we will send in the sheep.

  158. AWH what no cave knitting?? You were right there near the longest cave in the US and no cave trip for the sock.. poor deprived sock.
    Get better SOON!If we don’t hear from you in a week we will send in the sheep.

  159. I know! The name “Fifth Third Bank” really, really stinks. There’s one just down my street a bit, and when the name appeared (on the building they put up a few short years ago), I complained every time we went past it: “Fifth Third Bank! What kind of name is that?! How can you even take it seriously?! etc. etc.”
    I vowed to never become a patron of a bank with such a stupid name.
    P.S. We editors can be plenty charming. Just ask us.

  160. I’d already realized that knitters know everything. But who knew they were such a fount of wisdom on the history of Fifth Third Bank? (Love the idea of putting one at the Firth of Forth.) Feel better, Stephanie!

  161. I pass by several fifth third banks everyday! I guess it’s just where you are. I Live in Nashville Tennessee. They recently built a new one about a rock’s throw away from my house!

  162. Oh, I cannot STAND Fifth Third! These are the morons who — when my card number, etc were stolen in a very large, known card-number-stealing episode — decided to wait over a year to tell me so, and only after they’d shut off my card as I was fueling my rental car halfway across the country, and only after I complained loudly and mightily when they said they “might not” let me access my account for a while since someone had tried to use my stolen card number and………
    Yes. I hate them. That is all.

  163. My van is financed through Fifth Third bank, and with all the Spam I get from other banks, I haven’t gotten one from that bank!!! I wanted so badley to see you in Lexington (I am from northern Tennessee), but hubby was working, and only one of my sons knits….the others would be bored! Coming to Nashville any time soon?

  164. 1. The most prominent building in the Lexington “skyline” is the Fifth Third Building. Everyone I know calls it Big Blue Phallic Symbol. (It’s a glass building with some kind of coating that makes it look blue-purple, and then it has blue neon outlining the top that you can see at night.)
    2. We also all call Fifth Third the “1 2/3 Bank”.
    3. Stone’s Throw is AWESOME. You can rent a spinning wheel BY THE HOUR. For true!
    4. Hope you feel better. Thanks so much for coming to our crappy town and knitting with us!

  165. I use 5th 3rd bank and make fun of the name all the time. It’s truly the silliest name for a bank ever!

  166. I saw the exact same bank today and thought, “huh??!”
    I’m glad it wasn’t just me.
    Interestingly I was actually looking for a knitting store so there may be some connection there. Perhaps the pursuit of yarn messes with our minds. duh.
    r

  167. Thanks for the pictures! I got such a laff out of the GREEN SOCK being in nearly every one. I’m a little surprised it isn’t in the horse picture!
    Very nice to see the van full of authors and editors. Gee, not all editors look like they should be chained up, contrary to what some authors say…

  168. Fifth Third has never sounded that weird to me, probably because since I was really old enough to care about banks I’ve lived around Cincinnati. (Not in Cincy, mind you, but in Greater Cincinnati, i.e. Kentucky and slightly too far north in Ohio to be considered Cincy.) Somehow, however, I’ve always thought it had something to do with a Fifth Street and a Third Street. Weird.

  169. Fifth Third – or as they have everywhere here 5/3 Bank. Their motto is “working hard to be the only bank you’ll ever need”. My thoughts are this… if they, a banker, does not realize that 5/3 is not a fraction – how on earth can they be expected to take care of a clients depository accounts? Wait… I have a strange feeling that they might have been the bank of STR – gasp!!!!

  170. I’m so GLAD to hear that someone else thinks the Fifth Third name is so silly for a BANK!!! It’s always bothered me and everytime I see one (as we drive through Kentucky and Ohio) I can’t help but wonder HOW it got its name. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

  171. We live in northern Ohio, and my son banks at Fifth Third Bank. We have a dear friend who works there, and we like to tease him by calling it “One-and-Two-Thirds” Bank. He claims that the name is the result of a merger. Still does make you wonder…

  172. As a former Lexingtonian, you made me wish I was back there, if only to hear you! And the current “Fifth Third” building used to be Bank One. Apparently they decided that “one” wasn’t enough…hope you feel better!

  173. I had never heard of Fifth Third Bank until I moved to the midwest, and was totally stunned. I refuse to bank with people who can’t do math.

  174. Umm, wow. How the heck do I live in Louisville and missed that you were in KY? ::sigh:: Here I’ve been the whole time whining to myself that the Harlot needs to come somewhere local to me… and you did. And I missed it.
    ::crawls back under her rock::

  175. Dear Steph, I hope you get well real soon. Being sick but still able to knit is a great comfort. I can’t knit and I am getting crazy because of it. I love your blog and all your socks!

  176. this post made me think of two (I think) funny stories. i grew up in Michigan and there is a baseball park outside of Grand Rapids that ussed to have a respectable park name. Now it’s Fifth Third Ballpark – even dumber than just naming your bank that.
    I went to makeup school in Toronto (loved it there – but alas, found no man I wanted to marry so that I could stay and work) and a friend of mine came up to visit. He worked at a big ad agency and when we saw the Beaver gas station, well, the taglines were flying. My favorite though was, “Now that you’ve got the new sportscar…How about some Beaver?” (We meant fuel, of course…)

  177. I have been phished by every single bank out there except the one(s) I actually bank with. RBC, BMO, First, Citi, etc etc etc.
    I have never fallen for them. πŸ™‚
    On a side note, I picked up your latest book earlier this week and am working slowly through it. The TAKEs here are cunning in preventing mommy’s time at knitting or for that matter, reading about knitting. πŸ˜‰

  178. When I was in grade school back in the 1950’s we had to memorize all the Canadian provinces and territories and their capitols and be able to find them on the map (PEI and BC were my favorites, being easy). We also learned some Canadian history and geography, mostly the explorers. I’m pretty sure it was part of the standard California curriculum.
    What I now think is interesting is that we didn’t do the same for the Mexican states, although we did do Mayans and Aztecs and explorers.

  179. Hello, I wanted to thank you for the stitch markers you sent for my birthday. I’ve enjoyed the copy of “Cast Off” my friend Barb got my when you came to the book fair, also a b’day gift. I’m a beginning traveler so this should come in handy! My friend confessed that there were more stitch markers when you gave them to her, than when she gave them to me, but I’ve learned quickly about knitting that it’s all about sharing the wealth! Thanks again and I hope to meet you next time around!

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