I left for the airport on time, I arrived on time and although it ended up with me pretty snarky on the other side, safely in Boston, I was not late. However:
– Every human being in the world was at the airport. Maybe not you. Maybe you were knitting. Everyone else was there, in line, and hostile.
-For some reason, all of the humans in the airport had taken leave of their senses and were flying like they had never heard of any of of the airline rules, ever. There were people in line without boarding passes, people without passports in customs, people who couldn’t use automated machines, people dropping breakfast burritos…..it was one of those mornings that is clearly coming off the rails – for everyone, not just me. One guy had metal in his pockets, then change, then a belt with a big buckle, then….THEN, he had a Nalgene full of water he tried to take through security. (Do not tell me that maybe he didn’t know. There are a million signs saying no liquids. A million.) When they told him he couldn’t take it though, he asked where he could empty it out. Told there was no such facility in security, he proceeded to make the rest of us in the queue wait while he DRANK A LITRE OF WATER. (He barely escaped with his life. I kept wanting to seize his whole relaxed backpacker self and shake him wildly while screaming “GET SMARTER. For the love of all of your fellow humans GET SMARTER.” Natural selection my arse. If we were still doing survival of the fittest on this planet he wouldn’t have made it onto the plane before he was killed and eaten by the rest of us.)
In any case, everyone was all over the place and there were enormous waits and all this time ticks by and there’s this guy and there’s everyone all trying to do impossible against the rules things and time is ticking by and I’m sort of panicking because I’m going to totally miss my plane if things don’t improve right pronto…
I look over in the line near me and I recognize someone. Holy cow. It’s Greg Kinnear! At first all I can think is “I know you.. ” which it turns out, I totally don’t, so I’m glad I didn’t go with “Hey Greg….”
Once I had it figured, (I saw his boarding pass in his hand and couldn’t help but notice that it said “G. Kinnear”) I thought maybe I’d take a picture of him. Maybe I’d ask him to hold the sock? No…that’s too forward. Dude’s just trying to fly to Boston. Maybe I’ll take his picture from far away? Yeah……No. That’s creepy. I know, I’ll take my camera out of my purse and just sort of hang my hand down and look all casual and not even look at him and take his picture in SECRET.
…’cause yeah. That’s not creepy at all. It didn’t really work out, so I tried another one.
Sigh. I decided to stay with the technique though, and so I Kinneared Julia in her car. Better, this one has part of the intended subject in it….
Then I Kinneared her husband.
(Get your minds out of the gutter.)
Kinneared Julia thinking about lunch.
Kinneared Julia showing me her sock machine.
By this time I had begun to think that this Kinnearing was rather an art form, and that I was getting quite good at taking pictures without looking …. It’s fun. But I’m stopping now.
I wouldn’t want to take it too far.