Catching up

All right. This is going to be a long entry, but at least it will get me back on “real time”. There’s something tremendously weird about writing about cities you left two days ago while flying through other ones…so I’m going to do LA and Wichita and get back on the horse that threw me. I’ll try not to leave too much out.

In Los Angeles….

I think that I can’t be the only one who finds LA a little hard on the ol’ self esteem. There is an alarmingly high ratio of tall, beautiful people compared to us ordinary souls, and it usually doesn’t take long for me, the shabby and usually bra-less to feel out of place. Add into this that I was in a downtown hotel on the eve of the Emmy’s (thus increasing the number of tall beautiful people) and you can see how it might get to you. It didn’t though, because this time when I was in LA…I got to walk among my people. (Not that they aren’t tall and beautiful…but you know what I mean.)

I spoke at the LA public Library in their Auditorium (The next speaker is Alan Alda. I’m feeling sort of flattered about that.) It’s a beautiful space.

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The knitters, as always, were the very best part. A sampling….

Meet Kris and Andrew..representing for the um….Cute pre-knitters and their charming mothers.

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Shirley. Representing for the Wool Pigs.

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She gave me this one. It’s made out of her very own handspun. (It’s a finger puppet, and I have already used it to amuse a baby sitting in front of me on a flight. The baby was as charmed as I was.)

There was the first sock crew, representing for those taking the plunge everywhere. Here’s Robin,

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Kate (her first socks are a Mens size 13.)

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Laura (who also donated some beautiful stuff for Knitters Without Borders)

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Rose’s first socks were her olympic project…

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Anna’s 1st socks were shamelessly shredded by her husband.

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Lynda’s first sock may have had some gauge problems.

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Annette had potomatamus….(I am never going to be able to spell that)

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Collen did just fine too.

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Amanda had a whole pair of first socks…but I am too kind to post her picture. (Sorry Amanda. If you saw it you would thank me. ) Lori made me a washcloth with a golden snitch, and Kristie made me a California one.

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Finally, the lovely and charming Jean, hat lady #1

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and Wendy from the Sand and Sea Knitting Guild who was hat lady #2 . You know you gotta love a city where an abundance of hat ladies turns up.)

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Exhausted by the good times and flurry of first socks, Wendy took me to Little Tokyo where I had a good beer, ate some awesome tempura, window shopped a Japanese dollar store,

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and then returned to the hotel where I was in bed by 8:00 so the early morning rise wouldn’t hurt…which it did anyway. (The irony of missing the Emmys on TV when they are practically next door to you is still funny to me.)

It turns out that the thing about LA? It doesn’t count if you’re a knitter. All knitters are beautiful, and some of them are even short.

Wichita, Kansas.

I think I might be in love with this city, just a little bit. It’s nothing like home, which I always like, (not that I don’t like home, I just appreciate the differences a lot) and it is long and low and flat and a breeze blows all the time. (This is, I think, because there are no trees or hills to break it up.)

The other interesting thing about Wichita, is that it is “The Air Capital of The World” (I read that on a sign) because their have a massive number of airplane building companies and a big Air Force Base. The interesting-est thing about that?

They have a really, really little airport.

They do have really, really a lot of knitters.

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They have Melissa and her entirely cutie-pie baby Ella (shown here simply because I cannot resist her little pixie face.)

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and they have Ingrid.

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Ingrid just finished basic training in the Army, and she had the following fantastic story to tell me. She was knitting during some period of waiting at a hospital, and her Sergeant came in and saw her.

“Are you KNITTING soldier? I have never seen a SOLDIER KNIT.”

Ingrid, without missing a beat, replied:

“Would the Sergeant rather I was wasting my time or being productive, SIR.”

He looked her up and down, thought about it, and replied:

“Carry on Soldier.”

Beth had a Missouri washcloth, which is excellent, since I don’t think I’ve ever been there. (Although I might have…things are a little blurry around my edges.)

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(Beth appears to be a little blurry too. Sorry about that.)

Beverly knit me a Kansas washcloth with a buffalo on it….

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Which I totally missed the point of and remarked on the incredible irony that Kansas, having so many bufffalo was also buffalo shaped! (It isn’t. I’m an idiot. To her credit, Beverly didn’t totally fall down laughing at the dumbass Canadian.) Her shirt reads ” I knit because the voices tell me to….” (I love that.)

Annell knit me a washcloth with the actual right shape of Kansas on it…

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which turns out to be not at all buffalo shaped, but rather rectangular.

There were knitting kids galore, this is Miranda, sporting a “knit” tattoo.

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(It’s not real. It came from Twist, which has such devoted fans that it must be one of the worlds great yarn shops.)

And this is the lovely trio of Avalon, Molly and Elodie.

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Knitters all three.

There was more, much more, but dudes, I have got to get to the end of this. I am in New Orleans, and I have 3 hours free, and as much as I love you, love Kansas and have entire and wholehearted dedication to both, I am not so far gone as a blogger that I can miss a chance to see this place.

I’m going to leave you with this. It came via Carin (filling in as big helper over at Lime and Violet) was made by DragonMadKnitter, and is the brainchild of the aforementioned two podcasting terrors.

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It’s a felted squirrel, and he has a note that reads:

Deer Harlot,

We, the members of the Squirrel Fleece Liberation Front, have your fleece.

If you ever wants to sees it again, leave six pounds of nuts beside the back door.

And No More Trapses!

PSes. Limes and Violets made us write this. They offered us sunflowers seeds and we cant’ resists them. They are going to sell you fleeces on ebays and make moneys to take over the world they says.

I really hope nobody searches my bag at customs. This one is going to be hard to explain.

182 thoughts on “Catching up

  1. I absolutely LOVE the squirrel bandit! Sorry I missed you in Seattle this year, but looks like it was a great crowd at Third Place. Now if only you can get Indigo in your home town to understand this phenomenon that is The Yarn Harlot πŸ™‚

  2. Sniff, you go all over. Kansas, LA, alaska even. But you never come to visit us in london. Please come! Even your chum amy singer is visiting in october! We are in dire need of some representing action here. Ps, sorry for the nagging, good luck with the rest of the tour! X

  3. THANK YOU for not posting a horrible picture of me. I knew you were a kind soul! It’s sort of ironic that I remarked in my write up of the day that I hoped the picture wouldn’t be too dreadful πŸ™‚ You’ll be glad to know that all the pictures we took of you turned out lovely.
    Cheers!
    CraftyCanadian (our shared blog: http://blog.onetoomanyprojects.com/)
    P.S. perhaps I’ll post a photo of my first socks on my blog, just for posterity…

  4. Love the felted squirrel &. yes, it might be hard to explain to the TSA. If you get a chance & it’s still there, don’t miss the Quarter Stitch in the French Quarter. They have lovely yarn but the nicest thing is the way they wrap it all individually in colored tissue paper & tie it with ribbons before putting it in a nice bag. Makes you feel like you are opening a present when you get home with your purchase!

  5. I love the squirrel so much I’m almost in tears.
    I also liked the fact that you thought Kansas was shaped like a buffalo. Not that I really know what the Providences in Canada are entirely shaped like, but if they were in buffalo form, there would be no question left. I would become Canadian.

  6. 630 Chartres Street New Orleans, Louisiana 70130 tel. 504.522.4451 found that when I googled them but the website is down so I don’t know if they’re open or not but it is right in the heart of the Quarter.

  7. People really come up with some incredibly thoughtful and appropriate gifts for you. The squirrel, he takes the cake. Or the fleece as it were.

  8. I know those three girlies from Kansas! At least through the net. Their mom and I are online friends πŸ™‚
    I had to wipe off my computer screen after seeing the squirrel.

  9. LOVE the soldier story. Maybe we should be shipping needles and wool to our troops as well….
    And the ransom note is just too precious. Gollum indeed.

  10. bravo great posting great ending lead us
    right along now don’t you your timeing
    is good on this one if you pay the ransome
    perhaps the rat bastard of fenway park will
    leave the red sox nation would adore you

  11. Ha ha ha ha. . . that squirrel is AWESOME. I love all the pics of babies too. I should also mention here (not sucking up) that the one time I saw you in person, you were quite lovely and you should not feel less-than-beautiful in a place like L.A. Real beauty beats plastic any day.

  12. Oh my gosh. I’m on the blog! And may I say your picture of me is MUCH MUCH better than the picture of the two of us over on my blog. LOLOL. So I thank you for that.
    It was a wonderful day out with friends, so thanks for that as well.

  13. I had such a great time in Wichita…it was worth the trip! I still haven’t managed to frog my sock yet, though. I’m torn – part of me wants to just rip back to the end of the ribbing, and then rib the whole sock…the rest of me wants to frog it entirely and start on something else, like maybe Monkey socks. It would be appropriate, given that the sock-in-progress is currently sitting in a bag with monkeys all over it. (This may be my new tradition – last year, when I saw you in OKC, I bought a cute little bag with monkeys on it to carry my WIP around in. This time, I bought a drawstring backpack-esque bag with, you guess it, monkeys. Guess I’ll have to be sure to find something else monkey-themed as a souvenir from your next tour.)

  14. Hear hear! I second the “Steph is beautiful” comment. Not to mention very patient when a fan gets so flustered at meeting her Harlotness in person that they forget their name at the time of book signing. ahem.
    The squirrel was most prescious…we loves it.

  15. Thanks for visiting LA! Andrew stopped to “chat” with the security guard on our way out (chubby little dude will flirt with anyone), and I have to tell you that he not only said you “rocked the house,” but also that you had the longest line for a book signing that he had ever seen. Just had to pass that along!

  16. My three girls were thrilled to see their picture on your blog! Thanks again for a great time.
    It’s too bad you couldn’t make it to Twist. It’s a new shop, but it’s a good one. A wonderful knitting community calls it home. We’re so thrilled to have it here.
    Our knitting soldier Ingrid is fantastic, too. She’s so fun.

  17. I can has squirrelses too?
    Thanks for makin’ me laugh out loud at work. (Actually it was the picture of Lynda and he gauge-challenged sock that did it)

  18. WE LOVES THE SQUIRREL, precious….
    Knitters are truly the cream of the crop, that’s for sure.

  19. We had such a good time on our excursion to see you yesterday! I’m sorry I bumbled about and compared you to Bryan Adams. You really are much lovelier than him even though you haven’t trio-ed with Sting and Rod Stewart. Or have you?
    It’s true. Canadians make me nervous.

  20. Enjoy New Orleans! Eat good food! Drink good drinks! Have so much fun you can’t remember it to blog about it! πŸ™‚

  21. Wichita love seeing you too!
    Your style of knitting is interesting. Having some wrist problems, a change of knitting style would be great! Would love to know more about that fast ‘no look at’ knitting. Who care how one knits as long as we are knitting as much as we can.
    If you like brown sock yarn we have Buffalo or Bison yarn in the area. It’s not wool but it’s pretty neat!

  22. Love the squirrel. I will have to make my Mom a knitted squirrel. She and my Dad are so devoted to feeding them that they come up on the back porch and literally bang on the back door to let them know that the feeders are empty. So far they haven’t stolen anything-I think it is because they are too fat to run.
    Don’t feel bad about not knowing the geography of the USA-Canada confuses us-I think because it seems so much bigger than America. Oh, and also, because lots of us don’t know our geography either.

  23. Go short people! We totally rock!
    I don’t suppose that Jimmy with the binary scarf has a pattern somewhere, does he? My brother the self-proclaimed geek would flip over something like this…

  24. I can see my tiny little blurry head in one of the group shots! Thanks for being there, it was certainly worth the drive down from Kansas City.

  25. Yay! I’m glad the squirrel survived his trip in the baggy prison he was sent in, and that you liked him. Minnie did a fabulous job on the felting bits, and when I saw him, I knew he HAD TO BE A BANDIT. (Thus, the mask. Because squirrels with masks? Hilarity incarnate.)
    I was a little worried that you’d kind of just *look* at Carin with that OMyGodItIsTheTownCrazyLady look. You know the one. The one muggles often give to knitters who are so audacious as to knit somewhere not private. πŸ™‚

  26. That squirrel is great! The animal project next on my list (which is in fact an ever changing thing that exists only in my head) is the star-nosed mole I saw someplace recently.

  27. Thank you so much for visiting Wichita. I second whoever said that it was totally worth the trip from Kansas City, although, I only drove fron Gardner. Close enough.
    You’ll be glad to know, fellow worrier, that hubby did indeed survive the trip to the state fair to pick up my stuff with the 3 boys all by himself. He did, however, drive home and collapse. I think there may be a few poker nights in his future to help him forget.
    Also, forgot to mention during the signing of books and the showing you of the first socks, that I am “Kathy, Yarndork, Kathy” according to the rule. Also, didn’t want to mention, but I will, my first ever fair isle project, a hat, won a 1st place ribbon at said state fair. Not that I’m rubbing it in. I’m thinking the judges must have been affected by the heat or something. Pictures will be on my blog as soon as hubby downloads them.

  28. That squirrel is awesome. Perhaps you can find a way to bring him to your side? He could stand bodyguard over your fleece, protecting it from That Other Squirrel!

  29. So squirrel dialect is something of a cross between Gollum and lolcats … Who knew? With a heritage like that no wonder they’re obnoxious!

  30. How much do you want to bet that Ingrid’s Army, um, group all become knitters? Productivity, SIR! I think I love Ingrid. <3

  31. Oh – LOL – we loves the squirrel, yes, Precious, we does. What a hoot! Of course, every time I read about the *real* rodent that kept stealing your fleece(s), I’d find myself muttering imprecations against the little bugger. How *dare* he steal from Stephanie; that’s HER STUFF! I actually happen to really like squirrels…BUT! I’d see pure red if one of them stole MY fleeces and yarns! Until I read your book, I had NO idea grey squirrels were so freakin’ aggressive! Our red ones in this part of KS just don’t DO stuff like that. That I know of. I sure hope they don’t.
    Thank you again, Stephanie, for exhausting yourself just to come entertain us here in Wichita! It was a blast seeing you, and I hope your time in Nyawluns is pure pleasure.
    P.S. Canada IS bigger than the U.S. πŸ™‚ 3,855,103 square miles – or thereabouts. The U.S. has about 3,537,441 sq. miles.

  32. You have been to Missouri! Back in late April 2006 you came to the St Louis Knitter’s Guild and we packed out the St Louis County Library. There were about 40 chairs and 200 knitters…

  33. Good to hear that you have some actual free time. Plus it sounds like you’re getting fed and watered fairly regularly.
    I once years ago spent a 2 1/2 hour layover in the middle of the night at the Kansas airport. Talk about no edible airport food for the food limited/challenged. Nor was it the most homey place to hang out. Wonder if they’ve done any upgrades in the decade or so since I was there?

  34. Oh my! That squirrel bandit is priceless!!! The ransom note is pretty awesome too!
    Tee hee!
    p.s. maybe you should mail that to yourself to avoid the questions if your bag gets searched.

  35. I doubt customs will blink… at least here in Maine they take squirrels seriously. Red Squirrels have infested this state. Ever heard a Red Squirrel roll acorns down your metal roof?
    From ONE TO FIVE AM?!?
    Squirrels… don’t taste like chicken. Not even with Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce.

  36. You like us, you really, really like us! I’m glad, Wichita might be small, but Kansas knitters sure are great! I had a ton of fun. Thanks for my 15 seconds of fame. I about died when I saw the squirrel picture, what a great, crazy idea.
    Annell

  37. Sounds like a whirlwind trip — I haven’t read the comments so 100 people may have already told you — St. Louis is in Missouri and I think you were there last year.

  38. My dear Harlotta, re: Emmys – It is not lost on those of us who watched that you had a better time sleeping than we did watching. Just a bit DEAD BORING!! I got several rounds of a 300+ stitch lace weight moebius stole done during those Emmys…(I am a VERY slow knitter too…)
    Looking forward to Virginia even though with that schedule I saw you may be unraveled as a frogged sock. I said to my husband (who cannot understand the big deal about a knitting author) “She’s from CANADA…who KNOWS when she may be this close to here again!”

  39. I love the squirrel! Which book are you on tour for? Can’t wait till you’re in my area. Please come to RI!

  40. LOVE the squirrel! Goodness knows I needed the chuckle today. Love the creativity!
    p.s. Is it just me, or does the squirrel sound a wee bit like Gollum?

  41. Still laughing at the squirrelly giftie! How appropriate and how clever!! Gotta wipe the coffee off the keyboard now…… LOL! samm

  42. “”Are you KNITTING soldier? I have never seen a SOLDIER KNIT.”
    Ingrid, without missing a beat, replied:
    “Would the Sergeant rather I was wasting my time or being productive, SIR.”
    He looked her up and down, thought about it, and replied:
    “Carry on Soldier.” ”
    If this Sergeant was smart, he’d require all his soldiers to learn to knit so they could be productive at all times LOL

  43. Love the squirrel. How creative! Ingrid, the knitting soldier is great, too. Being productive, SIR! Could I be in the first sock club if the first sock I knit was finished more than 20 years ago and took me 11 years to make? I’m ready to try again. Maybe a matching pair this time. Last time, I ran out yarn. There was only enough for one sock. Luckily, it was green adn cream so I gave it to a friend who didn’t have a Christmas sock. Cheers and thanks so much for coming to visit!

  44. My absolute favorite line was “Lynda’s first sock may have had some gauge problems”. What a good sport Lynda is!!! Adorable.

  45. Hi Stephanie! Thanks for posting a wonderful (ha!) picture of me with the Missouri dishcloth. I am a geographer by trade and am now very tempted to mail you a United States puzzle so you can keep track of where you are in the US. I had so much fun at the Wichita event. Thanks for coming to the Midwest again!

  46. LA & Wichita – wonderful!
    Ella – total cutie! (And I don’t really go googly over babies. [g] But she’s got such a little Kewpie doll face!)
    Ingrid – HOOAH! (No, not ex-Army, Ranger, or anything, hah, as if; I just like a good hooah. And she deserves one!)
    Knit tatt-onna-kid – superlative!
    Squirrel Fleece Liberation Front representative – with mask – and ransom note tied with yarn! —
    Words. Fail. Laughing too hard. Insert hysterics.
    Just…don’t set him to stand guard over the fleece. It was a great suggestion, but you *know* That Rat Bastard will do his best to run off with him, and then your neighborhood squirrels will be *organized*! Unto generations, yet. Kinda like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

  47. That squirrel is a hoot! I think if squirrels like that showed up to steal my fleece I might just let them have it.
    As for soldiers knitting; didn’t they knit during world war one? I remember reading that they would knit and repair their own socks when there was downtime. So she is in good company

  48. I am so sorry to miss you tonight in New Orleans! I live on the MS Gulf Coast and we’re thrilled to have you in katrinaland. But I’m still nursing my almost one year old and my husband is out of town anyway. It was not meant to be. Sob! Maybe one day…I’ll knit tonight in your honor instead. I can’t wait to read your impressions and your trip report.

  49. It’s a good thing it’s after six and most people have left work (snerk) (guffaw). Weren’t you in St. Louis at one point? Or, you know, not. If you’ve lost track of your travels, it’s hardly surprising that I have.

  50. The squirrel rocks so hard. I was having a rotten, horrible day but the squirrel made me laugh.
    And Steph, the next time you go to LA go give a talk in the OC or one of the suburbs. Then you will realize that most of the people that live in LA are normal looking and aren’t tall and blond and hollywood-esque… I’m from the area, and I’m short and brown…

  51. Can’t wait to see your Nawlins reaction. See ya in Atlanta, on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I can’t bring my felted squirrel as I gave it away. .

  52. It was great to see you here in LA! Okay, so Orange County would have been better so that we didn’t have to deal with houses on freeways, but I’m not complaining! Enjoy the Snitch. I can’t wait to see what you come up with for all those cloths. Come again anytime!
    Your last squirrel story had me in tears from laughter and this ransom note is just too much!

  53. Your talk was fabulous. Since I am a skimmer of blogs, I often don’t benefit from reading your blog. I am now a convert..but that isn’t surprising that I’d appreciate a fellow canadian with roots in the east coast (my in laws and I suppose your too).
    When I moved to Southern California 3 years ago, I finally figured out who the size zero clothing was for. There are lots of skinny minnies here.
    Your smarties test educated my sister in the lack of good American candy and Coffee Crisp bars are now shuttling their way from T.O. to L.A.!

  54. Loved that…now we’ve seen a soldier knit!! (and the squirrel bandit–too perfect!!) And what do you mean Kansas isn’t shaped like a buffalo? When did that memo come out?

  55. Do you know how surreal and wonderful and strange it is to see myself on your blog? It was so wonderful to meet you and I laughed so hard at your “stand up routine” that I almost peed my pants!
    By the way, what actually “happens” to all the state dishcloths you receive?

  56. Ingrid should be the start of a whole new movement: knitting soldiers (although I understand that there is a sizeable little contingent already). Rock on, Ingrid!

  57. Yes, dear Harlot – you have been to Missouri – and the Greater St.Louis Knitters’ Guild (You remember the grumpy librarian/non-knitter and the late night knit in at the yarn shop – I know I do!!!) loved having you and would love to see you again anytime you like!!!

  58. You did a great show in Kansas with that tiny bit of sleep. Not only are you funny, but you have a wise and generous personality.
    Wichita has a lot of knitters: well, probably. But what you have to understand about a place like Wichita is that when you see knitters in your audience, they’re not just from Wichita, but from Kansas City, KS and Kansas City, Missouri, and Pittsburg, Kansas, and all over in a 3-4 hour driving radious. We’re going to drive 3 and a half hours to see you b/c that’s probably the closest you’re going to get to our towns. And if we have lys loyalty that’s because we know we’re lucky to have a lys within a 3-4 hour driving distance.
    Thanks again.

  59. Small world…Rose’s first socks are knit from the same yarn I used for *my* first socks! (But hers look nicer than mine.)
    Love reading your travel entries.

  60. OMG!! Love the squirrel bandit. Too funny! Hope he takes a place of honor looking out your window at the other squirrel bandits.
    To Bethany:
    The Binary code scarf is on Knitty.com…winter’06 πŸ™‚

  61. truly – what a great post. It is so packed with faces beaming back your joy and encouragement and life energy (as they say in Nor Cal). LOL I luved the cute little tattoo and the cutie-pie babies and first socks and the new auditoriums of knitters. Squirel-Bandit made me guffaw right out loud at work. Have more great travels.

  62. Love the squirrel and ransom note! That is hilarious.
    Ingrid’s Sargent must not have known that soldiers in recovery during WWI and II were taught to knit sock for the soldiers out in the trenches. My Grandfather (oddly enough, my Mother Ingrid’s, father) knew how to knit socks for those times when he was waiting for the mail and cargo to be loaded on his plane between flights. It helped calm his nerves when he was on enemy ground.

  63. Chelsea is wrong. You were never in Missouri nor in St. Louis. You need to come to St. Louis still.
    And most of my family was sick that night that Chelsea had her hallucination that you were here at the library, so I was unable to join her and anyone else who was part of that mass-delusion. Really. Everyone else is wrong about you being here. You still need to stop by.

  64. Holy brilliant and hilarious squirrel, Batman!!
    It was such a pleasure meeting you in LA and hearing you speak.
    And thank you for the reality check re: what LA looks like to the rest of the world. It’s pretty crazy, right?! (That can be hard to remember when you live here.)
    Safe travels to you!

  65. Are you ever frightened by the power you have over your people? I mean, felted squirrel terrorists…

  66. I’d be heartbroken that you don’t remember St. Louis if my head didn’t start to explode just a little at the contemplation of how many cities you’ve been to since then. The upshot is that I thought maybe you were only going to cities that you hadn’t been to before, so if you don’t remember us, maybe you can come back! Well, until your last post that mentioned being somewhere 3 or 4 times, which blew that little gem of happiness right away. Soooo, we’re just going to have to make sure that, if you do return to St. Louis, that we make sure you could never ever forget us. Muhwahahaha….

  67. I not so smart. When I learned that you were coming to Wichita, I immediately decided to make you a dishcloth. I thought of the buffalo because, well, who has a dishcloth with a buffalo on it? In the year+ of reading your blog and accounts of people giving you state-themed dishcloths, it never occurred to me that the point was to have the shape of the state on the cloth. See? I not so smart. If you hold the cloth far enough away from you and squint, maybe the buffalo will look more like the state. Oh well. I had fun charting the pattern and knitting it.
    Thank you so much for coming to Kansas. My sis and I had to drive almost 3 hours but it was worth it. Yours was the first knitblog I ever read, and reading it made me feel so very normal in my passion for knitting. I really enjoyed your talk. Come by our way the next time you tour. We’d love to have you!

  68. You were in New York this evening weren’t you? I know I saw you over by 5th and 29th at about 5:00, but by the time I gathered my wits you were gone.

  69. I wanted to be there in L.A., but when I RSVPed a week before, they said it was all booked. 300 knitters had beat me to the punch! And look at them all, they really exist. There were 300 knitters in L.A. and I wasn’t there?! πŸ™
    And where are all of you hiding yourselves?!

  70. Seeing you in Wichita was all I hoped it would be and more. I’m not one to go ga-ga over famous people, but when you passed by me close enough to touch me on the stairs to the auditorium, I felt like giddy Knitting Author Groupie. I’m just glad I didn’t faint.
    Your humor and unpretentiousness are awesomely wonderful! It was also great to see so many Knitters together. My Knitting Community Pride is elevated.
    Must knit Harlot dishcloth for next visit to The Plains.

  71. I think it was totally worth driving all the way from Tulsa to see you, and I am totally honored that you did yoga poses with my sock. Also, in no way did I mean to imply you were special ed. Really.

  72. Stephanie:
    It was so awesome to get to hear you speak and to meet you on Saturday here in LA. You are delightful and I hope you will visit again when your new book comes out! It was a great day!
    Thank You,
    Susan

  73. I’m the mother of “Miranda, Knit tatt-onna-kid, Miranda” (not her real blog name, but should she ever progress from her sadly blogless state, that just might be it …) and she was so excited to be there. The tattoo from Twist survived her morning shower today and through swim practice. One of the other swimmers said, “Nice knitting tattoo, Grandma.” Miranda said, “What are you? A member of CHOKE?”
    I’m sure she’s planning another tank top for school tomorrow to show off the tattoo some more.
    And baby Ella’s pixie face WAS hard to resist. She and her mom (and their play-date friends!) were sitting right behind us and she was so irresistible I allowed her to chomp my finger. There’s a little baby slobber in the mitten I was knitting, but isn’t that part of what makes hand knit items so special?

  74. LOL! SQUIRREL!! Welcome to southern California along the coast where most of the people have so much plastic in them that all the acrylic yarn in the universe can’t compare.

  75. I loved Ingrid’s story! She’s a smart cookie for thinking of that answer so quickly.
    The squirrel is great. I hope you bring him Thursday so we can see him in person.
    Just an FYI, Borders on Thursday still doesn’t seem very well organized. I called last week and directly said “you know hundreds of people go to these right?”. They said call back this week.
    Today they said they are planning to hand out tickets at 5:30. You have to be there in person to get your own ticket. No getting tickets for a friend who might actually have to work. Grrr! No mention of how many tickets they are planning to have or when the line will start forming.
    Perhaps Jayme the wonder publicist could look into this? My sock skills are still pretty rudimentary but I do a very nice purse and would be happy to provide a reward if Jayme could straighten out the Muggles! Seriously. My friend and I have been planning to come ever since you posted you were coming.
    Thanks!

  76. The Yarn Harlot, Lime and Violet and the squirrel bandit, life can’t get much better then that! The adventure continues!

  77. Hey, Stephanie. It was great to see you in Wichita! I drove up from Oklahome City to see you. I’m the one towards the end of the line, who plopped my first sock on the table, foot and all, for you to see. You were right, it is Trekking!
    I wanted to say that I saw Bill Cosby on tour back in April, and his show doesn’t hold a candle to yours. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard! Plus, I could KNIT during yours, without my husband, who is a charter member of CHOKE, sending me his eyeball-dagger-rays to stop.
    Enjoy the rest of your tour and have safe travels back home!

  78. Re; appearance compared to Hollywood types. A couple of years ago, I had told my hubby about you. When I recieved your first book I showed him your picture. “She’s pretty and young!” re; shortness. Tall people bang their heads on doorways and their knees on dashboards. re; Missouri visit. St Louis is where you acquired a baggie full of tape measures. re; Ingrid. I’m proud of her as a woman serving in the Armed Forces, and proud of her as a knitter. That’s feminism in action!

  79. Steph, it was lovely to see & hear you tonight in New Orleans. You were hilarious! And don’t worry, the powdered sugar didn’t show up in any of my pictures! (Strategic hiding of pants behind the table…) Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of the tour!!! =)

  80. WHOOOAH! I’m tired from just *reading* the last two posts, and I’m going to bed! (Love them both wildly, by the way). I’ll read all the comments tomorrow, right now I’m exhausted by connection! You go, Girl! What an inspiration!

  81. I still can’t believe that Wichita gave you more space than Los Angeles. It sure was a comfortable room in L.A, though!
    Love the squirrel. And Ingrid. And yeah, what DO you do with the washcloths??
    The day after you were in L.A, and signed my copies of your first two books, my brother gave me the same books for my birthday! A good soul, my brother; I think he should read them…

  82. Please tell the people who came up with, made and delivered the squirrel that it is just made of AWESOME. And thanks for the laugh.

  83. Dear Stephanie,
    Thank you for making my weekend and monday (I’m in the blog-me!). I was lucky #2 in the stand by line in LA. I’m glad you liked the wool pig. Were the egg custards okay? They’re much better, warm out of a toaster oven. Do you take cream and sugar in your coffee? If so, the bottled starbucks drinks are tasty.
    The squirrel rocks. Now, if only I could get the one in our backyard to stop eating the longan (dragon eye) fruit from our tree. He treats all the fruits as his personal buffet.
    Thanks again and tell Jayme, LA is a must stop on the next book tour.

  84. I don’t know how you do it – no sleep – town after town – and yet you still make everything so funny. I love the story about the soldier knitting! I hope you enjoyed the Midwest – they’re almost as nice as Canadians! : D

  85. My daughter is tall, beautiful and lives in LA. But she lets me visit anyway. Yes, hard on self-esteem…you have my sympathy!

  86. Thanks for visiting Wichita, Stephanie. I brought my husband along because he loved all your lists in Knitting Rules and wanted to hear you in person. I doubt you remember, but I was probably the only knitter in the crowd with a broken arm. And had I had my cast by then rather than a splint, I would’ve stood in line -strung out on loritab and everything -just so you could sign it. Thanks again. Your talk was a great ending to a really crappy week. Oh, and by the way, Kansas does have trees. They’re Just all imported. In fact, they probably have little tags under their roots that say Made in China.

  87. OMG!! the squirrel. I love it. Congrats! I’m sure that if customs sees it, they will get a giggle out of it.

  88. The Bandit Squirrel is absolutely the funniest thing I have seen in a long while! What a wild journey.
    I am sitting here watching a squirrel try to stealthily sneak past my neighbour who is armed with a hose (watering the garden) along our fence. back and forth, back and forth…oops…been seen…wet squirrel! weeeee!

  89. I used to travel to LA quite frequently for business, and i always felt extremely short, ethnic, and dowdy as soon as I set foot in that town. Now, I know I’m short, and I may well be dowdy, though it’s not quite as noticeable in NYC. It’s a weird place, but I’m glad you managed to flush out all the knitters. They make it seem like a much friendlier, less intimidating place than i think it usually is.
    Love the squirrel bandit. Sheer genius.

  90. I LOVE the felted squirrel!
    I am especially intrigued by the knitting kids and am wondering if there are any GOOD resources on teaching children to knit…and at what age is good for teaching a young ‘un to knit?
    I’ve got a 3.5 year old who is begging me to teach her “how to make hats and scarves” and she turns up her nose at any device I show to her that would be easier for her limited dexterity, stating that she only wants to use “yarn and noodles” to knit with. Laura Ingalls Wilder could knit when she was four, so I’m thinking it’s possible? Anyone tried?
    I know, this isn’t about LA or KS, but it is relavent to some aspect of the post!

  91. Granted the rat-bastard-bandit is the greatest think since McKenna’s stash-weasles (http://ATangleofWeasels.etsy.com )
    but DUDE.
    It’s right before my polysyllabic class with the PhDs so I had to skim the last third of the comments, and I grant that I’m an utterly corrupt crone, BUT…
    the sock is far from the most shocking thing in Lynda’s photo. Girl, what IS that thang?

  92. My gosh:
    I’ve missed my Fellow Canadian Knitter again.
    I just flew out of Denver airport
    (my, it’s … sprawling).
    i carried chocolate in my purse, thank goodness.
    Denver Airport tip ….
    in the “A” departure terminal there is an Arby’s (spellig ? ?) section, that has a fantastic coffee bar. coffee is at opposite end of the fast food counter (think it’s behind a tv showing sports). Coffee is Lavazza. and it’s wonderful.
    just what we need.

  93. (One of my objections to PhDs is that they make words like “foreground” a verb. But Linda’s foregrounding that lingum something fierce…)

  94. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the FUNNIEST thing I have heard/seen in a very long time….The tour must’ve been worth that alone!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!! and for the laugh…Sandi

  95. Oh Harlot – I’m all angsty and finger-nail biting because there you are in New Orleans, the closest you’ve come to Alabama since I’ve been reading you and I’m not there. I came up with and discarded all sorts of plans that might allow me to go – but a small daughter and a smaller amount of vacation time declared it was not to be. New Orleans is beautiful and melancholy and wonderful – I hope you enjoy it. The Kniting gods are smiling on you with the temperature. The South is lovely, come back soon!

  96. What a pleasure it was to see you in Wichita. This was my second opportunity to hear you speak and it always makes me proud that I am part of the knitting community. The first time was in Oklahoma City, 2006.
    After reading your blog the last couple of days I wanted to share with you what happened to our soldier INGRID. We all regrouped and went to our favorite yarn shop “Twist” to visit and knit.
    We took up our knitting needles to work on our favorite projects after being insprired by you and then we looked up and found a very tired soldier with needles in hand sound asleep on the sofa. She is special. Thank you for putting her on your blog. Maxine

  97. Mrs. Brooke … I saw that your name links to your blog. I will contact you about teaching your daughter to knit, but right now I’m at work.
    Miranda “knit-tatt-onna-kid” Miranda begged me to teach her to knit when she was four … and she’s nearly 13 and still at it. She knit an entire hat while standing in line and listening to Stephanie on Sunday, except that she didn’t bring the dpn’s to finish the top (she finished the hat that she was in the middle of when we left with a 3-needle-bind-off, but decided the one she cast on IN THE HALLWAY while we were waiting to be seated would look better with a decreased top).

  98. The day I saw your fantastic photos of the squirrel being stumped by your fleece cage, I went downstairs chuckling at the little bugger being foiled, and was immediately faced with a BIG FAT SQUIRREL inside the bird-feeding house that hangs right in front of the kitchen window. Evidently Scottish squirrels are as brazen as Canadian ones. No photos I’m afraid, the nut-pilferer was gone before I could grab my camera.

  99. BWHAHAAH, what a great post! Seems like I read somewhere about a knitting marine who got some flack from his buddies, until he held up his project and explained he was making a bikini for his girlfriend. They all shut up and probably began thinking about how they could get him to teach them how to knit and maybe get a girlfriend to go in the bikini….heh, heh, heh…..

  100. i learned to knit in
    grade school 3rd then
    the red cross in summer
    time also taught- i
    remember being told if thats
    going to be a blanket for
    vets they will catch cold
    dad was a veteren –and at
    five foot seven and so many
    years later i still do knit
    so many holes in one 35 st 35 rows

  101. The squirrel bandit is amazing! You are one lucky lady to have such a cute travelling partner… but beware of letting him near the stash, just to be safe.
    Just to clear a few things up, you may be the bra-less amongst us but you will never be “the shabby” in our eyes.

  102. Your comments about LA and about knitters made me feel better about my insecurities. I am happy to be a knitter. And I prefer not to wear a bra.

  103. You met my friend Shirley in LA. She was my first spinning friend here! I’m sorry to have missed you here but I was worried about being a stalker, lovely that I wouldn’t be your first. Your right about LA, there is a Plastic Surgeon, Dental whitening and a donut shop on every corner, mixed messages! You rock, who cares about the outwardly insecure, and inwardly obscure.

  104. Ella and I are so excited to see ourselves on your blog! I called my husband to tell him – he much be the President of the local CHOKE chapter…total nerd.
    My sister and I and our girls had so much fun! Thanks for coming to our little place in this world!

  105. When I saw the squirrel and read the note that came with him yesterday, I almost fell over – I was laughing so hard. Then today, I read it again, and laughed just as hard. I really need to laugh, so I think I’ll read this note from him/her every day until it no longer makes me laugh. Which could be quite awhile!
    Linda in VA

  106. A million thanks for the trip to Wichita – we love you right back. How you can manage to inspire (without cheese) and still be that freakin’ funny is something to behold. You have a gift. You are a gift!
    -And another million for mentioning the shop. I wish I had been better prepared for the zillion tattoo requests I’ve gotten the last two days! I’m going to set up an online shopping cart just for tattoos. I’m going to do that right now. Watch me. Here I go…

  107. Been a long-time lurker, but just had to add my pleas to Nina’s – whenohwhenohwhen are you going to do a UK tour?? The Brit-knit scene badly needs someone to rid us of the myth that knitting is (a) boring, and (b) only something your granny would do!

  108. Kate looks suspiciously tall, blonde and gorgeous. Nevertheless, if she was willing to tackle a men’s 13 as her first sock, I guess we’ll let her into the fold!
    Squirrel is genious. He needs a little beret. (I can’t help wondering what your neighborhood squirrel would think if you put the little felted bandit out where the fleece usually is.)

  109. Oh man, that last part cracked me up. I can imagine the look on their faces…what a ransom note.

  110. fleece-theiving squirrels. L&V are in rare form!
    thanks for the very good laugh.
    hope you get some breaks this fall during your epic book-tour. I know everyone appreciates you so much, yet waking up wondering where in the world you are must get a bit old now and then.
    so here’s a little ‘thanks for all you do’ appreciation-cyber-hug.

  111. ::sniffle:: You’re going to be in Atlanta tomorrow night and I can’t make it! I’ve got two classes on Wednesday evenings that I really just can’t skip, as much as I want to. I’m so sad! Have a safe flight, and enjoy Georgia…I would tell you that it’s hotter than hell here (although I’m sure you already know that since you’re in Houston), but the weather’s been surprisingly (and pleasantly!) mild the past few days. Hope I catch you on the next tour! ^_^

  112. Loved seeing you in Wichita. It was totally worth the drive from Texas. And it was okay that I slept through work Monday! Well, okay with me anyway …

  113. oh my. lime and violet strike. that’s hilarious.
    i hope you enjoy new orleans! i get to hear you tonight in atlanta, and i can’t wait!

  114. My grandfather, who was a Major in the Seaforth Highlander Regiment of Canada, learnt to knit in the Army and produced a prolific quantity of socks to rival perhaps even you! (they were all olive drab & stocking stitch tho!). So Ingrid is by no means the first soldier to knit on duty πŸ˜‰

  115. Someone may have already reminded you, but you have indeed been to Missouri. My friends, my little baby, and I were lucky enough to meet you last year in St. Louis, so I can attest to it first hand.

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