I swear I didn’t touch it

Yesterday, apparently something went bang in the universe somewhere, and entirely unbeknownst to me this caused a rippling cascade of cosmic errors that – although entirely imperceptible to me… took the blog down and entirely corrupted my huge mysql (I don’t know what that is) database. Indeed, oblivious to the problem at all, I went happily to yoga class. When I returned, I had a couple of emails (thank you, Christy and Janey) letting me know that all was not well in the land of comments. I sighed. I had a beer. I watched House. I waited for the forces that be (the forces that be would actually be Ken) to fix the thing. After all…I had done nothing to deserve a blog problem. I had bought lots of room, I didn’t upgrade, I didn’t touch the templates. (I am prohibited the template touching.) Yea, even though I am often perplexed, intrigued and made curious by the software that makes the blog go, I had not touched the software, nor clicked on any buttons in the software. Indeed, though it is my software, I had not so much as adjusted a setting, nor posted to the blog, nor even looked at the computer, in sooth, I had not even been in my home when the cascade of errors erupted.

This morning, the blog was still broken, in fact, things were worse, since the gush of server related faults had progressed to the point where not only could you guys not participate in the blog by commenting, but I couldn’t participate by posting an entry, which seemed to be just as critical a portion of the process. Indeed, when I checked my email this morning, my server had sent me a lot of mail letting me know that it had deep concerns and failures related to its “hpptd, named, ftpd, exim, syslogd, imap and cpsrvd” thingies. I don’t know what those are, but I had a feeling that they were the server equivalent of “pancreas, spleen and gallbladder” so I (still) did not touch anything but backed away from the screen and called Ken on the phone and told him “blog still broken. Make blog go?”

Ken, unfortunately was hampered from helping me by the presence of something he termed “a real job”, and I realized that I was going to have to do the unthinkable. I was going to have to call technical support for the server.

This is how much sock you can knit while you talk to the very helpful Jason at tech support.


It was best for me to knit while he explained what is wrong, because I swear that didn’t understand a single word he said. I pretended to say intelligent things while he “repaired the mt_entry table in the mysql database” and talked about “command line entries”. Jason was boggled at the depth of the problems. He would find one thing that was broken that would lead to another thing that was broken that would lead to …..well. You get it. It’s like when you call the plumber because the kitchen tap is leaking, and he tells you that the problem is the pipe, so he takes apart the pipe and discovers that it’s actually the supply pipe behind the wall, and knocks out the wall, and finds out that the problem is really the larger inlet from the street and the next thing you know they are fixing your leaky tap with a backhoe and a team of guys tearing up the front garden.

Jason kept saying things like “Woah….what the….” and then whistling low and impressed at the breadth of exactly how screwed the whole thing was. (I do not find this comforting in a tech guy.) Every time he went “Holy cow…what happened to the…..” I would knit a little faster. What does he mean “What happened” ? I called him to find out what happened. Is it broken? Is it expensive? Can it be fixed? I need a little feigned confidence from the tech guy….I’m drowning in a huge pool of tech-crap and the fact that he is impressed with how screwed I am is not at all comforting. I would knit, knit, knit…all while suppressing the urge to scream “MAKE BLOG GO!!!”.

All through the process of fixing the thing, Jason quizzed me. What had I done to deserve this? Upgrade? Click on something? Install something? I had to have committed some crime to have created this conflagration of incredible craptitude. In a scene worthy of The Closer, Jason tried to divine the exact moment when I had committed some innocuous action, some click or stroke of the keyboard, seemingly anodyne – but in fact the seed of all that had come crashing down since then. I don’t think he wanted to hold me responsible, but only to be released from the mystery that had consumed so much of our respective mornings.

“Think” pressed Jason, “What, exactly were you doing when the server failed.”

I thought about it, retracing my evening steps, cataloguing all that I had done. Then I answered.

“Downward Dog.”

“Pardon?” says Jason, surely guessing or even hoping, that this was some new application that I have been running on my computer that has corrupted everything.

“Downward Dog dude. I was at Yoga class.”

“Hmmm……” says Jason, and I hear him still typing….

“You wouldn’t expect that to be a problem for the server like this”.

Exactly dude. Happy Hallowe’en.

169 thoughts on “I swear I didn’t touch it

  1. Yay, you’re back! Glad to see you and Jason got it fixed! Looking at that sock, it looks like you may have been on the phone awhile.

  2. Shoot – first. Or near First.
    Yoga can do that to a server, I’ve heard… I was at yoga myself last night and let me tell you, somethin was up!
    Hang in, Harlot!

  3. Downward dog strikes again. I love that I finally had a second to look up and see what was going on in blogland and it’s been fixed! Yay Jason!

  4. Downward Dog will do it every time… Glad to see you’re back up and running. I just LURVE computer problems πŸ™‚

  5. Great looking sock! It reminds me of the time I was stuck in traffic for an hour and did two inches of progress on a sweater. Ah, the way knitting saves us!

  6. Go blog go!!
    That’s what happens when you stick your butt up in the air. I knew there was a reason I did not do yoga.

  7. Well, now you know that your server doesn’t like yoga. A hard way to find out, of course, but life lessons are like that.
    I wish you had given in to the urge to tell Jason, “Make blog go!” I’d like to know what his reaction would have been.
    In all events, glad you’re back!

  8. I don’t understand why it always has to be something that the user has done. There are occasions when the blame can be placed on the equipment thank you very much. BTW, love that colorway. What is it?

  9. As a techie, I can appreciate Jason’s excellent customer service skills and as a knitter/blogger, I certainly can relate to “Make Blog Go!” LOL

  10. Yep. I was right. Zombies. Now they’re eating computer brains instead of human ones. Aiee!
    Glad blog go now. And hey, look on the bright side; your sock seems to have no vestige of wonky ribs or heel this time around. (Ok, so you hadn’t *reached* the heel yet at that pic, but you count all the blessings you can get.) Just let your inner Celt free today, say Happy Samhain, and consider the fixed server a symbol of the new year! Perhaps while knocking wood. Just in case.

  11. Hee.
    In real life, I am Jason – doing tech support on databases. Calls like your’s are always entertaining, as you dive down into a chaotic mess of broken-ness with no sign as to the why of it all. He very likely wasn’t trying to assign blame, but merely searching fruitlessly for some clue, any clue, as to what had triggered your disaster.
    You may want to ask whoever is responsible for the hardware of the server (hard disks, memory etc.) to run some diagnostics on the hardware, to make sure it’s not something like a bad disk starting to fail.
    Glad you were able to get it back!

  12. Oh, Steph, I am in tears here. I needed that laugh. (A bit of not so relevant info: My tech guy is a yoga-person, so he would totally get the downward dog comment.)

  13. “incredible craptitude”.
    Thanks for the perfect definition of my life right now. But at least my blog goes. Jason sounds cool.

  14. That’s an awesome answer! Next time my work computer takes a nose-dive and they ask what I was doing, I’ll have to use that.

  15. You gonna share that sock pattern young lady?
    I’m looking for something to make for hubby honey, since thanks to one of your books I left in the bathroom, he’s actually asked for a pair.
    Hand it over. πŸ™‚
    And see I KNEW yoga was just a bad idea. lol
    Glad you’re back.

  16. I sympathize with the deepest part of my computer being, since I have been assaulted by multiple mysterious failures having unintelligible names on my iMac since June. All the assembled forces of Apple tech support (and they are many and mighty) have so far not been able to fix the *@%%##! thing. I’m beginning to think that the computer manufacturers should start paying *us* an hourly wage to spend half our lives on the phone with tech support, or schlepping the machine into the repair shop again and again.
    Maybe the Luddites were onto something after all.

  17. What a response πŸ™‚
    Sometimes, as improbable as it may seem, you don’t even need to touch something for it to break. Love the sock. And the House-watching!

  18. Now if only doing yoga could FIX computer problems…I’m so glad you got your blog fixed because it’s always a great read.

  19. That was the equivalent of a superwash cobweb weight skein being played with by a batch of kittens. Slowly to be untangled, because a spit splice would never work.
    Glad to see you back.

  20. There more I work with them, the more I am convinced. There is a little bit of chaos in information systems that creeps in with daily use. And it creeps and creeps until the system finally suffers something akin to a seizure or heart attack.
    Glad to see you are back up again.

  21. Do you have the same commercial server I do? My blog’s totally *poof*ed. They tell me it’ll be back up tomorrow. They promise.
    And oh, do I feel for what you went through. But I have to say, even my 19-year-old looked at that sock, having wrestled with our tech support with me, and went, That’s all she knit? She lucked out!

  22. I’m only giggling because I can understand both sides of this, and I can practically see the thoughtbubble above your head that says MAKE BLOG GO! πŸ˜€ I’m glad you’re up and running again. Life just isn’t quite as right w/out a daily dose of Harlot.

  23. Welcome Back, we missed you. I thought yoga was supposed to be stress relieving, not stress inducing. Your instructor must be doing something wrong. You should go and complain and let him/her know that you can’t do certain poses anymore because apparently they make your blog not go. Then ask for a discount. You’ll probably get the same response I get when I ask for a beer at McDonald’s.
    Nice sock, is that a twisted rib? Or is that just the result of the whole techy thing?
    Must go now, knitpicks.com order just came. Must go pet/smell/smoosh/wallow in good stuff now. Ever done a sock out of lace weight, doubled?

  24. I am intrigued.. what kind of phone do you use? I would like to be able to knit while being on the phone… but I need one hand to hold it, and both hands for knitting..

  25. Downward Dog maybe shouldn’t have been such a big deal for your server to handle but for me? I become Sideways Roadkill when I attempt it, so I do not doubt DD might have done some evil to your server…

  26. Oh, no.
    Clearly, “mysql” can only mean “my sequel,” the clone that is being prepared to replace you. You must prevent this from happening.
    Great sock-beginning, by the way.

  27. I think it is so cute when they say all those techie things, like we have any idea what they are talking about. Probably as intelligent as us reading kinitting patterns to them, who doesn’t get excited by a SKPO?

  28. I think “conflagration of incredible craptitude” is one of my new favorite sayings.
    Also, I think Jason deserves accolades for being awesome at tech support. Though my techie husband is fond of saying that more often than not “PEBKAC” (that is – Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair), I think in this case, you have a gremlin. And definitely have your hardware person run a diagnostic and make sure that gremlin isn’t potential hardware failure!
    Love the sock colorway too!

  29. I am blaming the weirdness of the last week or so on the wind, the full moon, and the mercury or is it mars retrograde…communication issues abound apparently during a retrograde or so I have read, add to that a full moon and many windy days not all is right with the universe……or maybe could be a bad wire!!! πŸ˜‰ HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

  30. Well, speaking as a “tech gal,” sometimes we forget that our ‘intriguing’ or ‘interesting’ problems are more like sheer living hell for our end users!
    Yay Jason! Yay, blog go now!

  31. hmm…wasn’t there a suspicious book in the bathroom when you got home two times ago? Or, it could have been our earthquake out here in NorCal, last night 8:00pm PDT…nope, that would have been too late. Or, Joe’s lines chatting w/your lines in the wee hours? Yeah Jason…thank you! I also am given pause when tech is awed by breadth & depth of craptitude. The sock is a wonderful colorway.

  32. Is it possible that the patch bays in your kitchen have been eating your computer’s brain? When in doubt, blame the spouse’s equipment.
    I’ve been known to accuse my husband’s guitars of eating any yarn I can’t find.

  33. Perhaps instead of ‘downward dog’, you should have been doing ‘upward pup’? I’m glad the blog is all better now. And Jason will no doubt remember your answer for a long time…lol. I hate to think how long I’d have to be on hold to get that much of a sock done–you knit *much* faster than I…

  34. Go Blog Go! Hurrah for Jason! As much as we can entertain ourselves with sticks and string, we really do need our Harlot fix. And now for sure I won’t take up yoga, even if I don’t have a blog to break.
    Glad you’re back!

  35. share the sock pattern and the name of that yarn, it’s love at first sight. glad you’re back

  36. Now, I bet that call was recorded, right? Imagine how incredibly funny it will be if the all-powerful person who monitors customer service hears your answer to Jason. Downward Dog. There will be much spewing of coffee!! Giggling! And probably, hopefully, Jason will get a promotion.

  37. Steph, I am impressed. Obviously your Downward Dog is WAY more powerful than mine. Your Downward Dog managed to have your server have seizures and blow gaskets, mine was limited to a small muscle spasm in my injured lower back. (All my fault; I did too much too soon.) But WOW, you’re good.
    And, for your daughters’ information, 13 year old boys are whiny, wimpy, wusses about being cold. It was only 58 degrees F inside. He’d wear a t-shirt, sweatshirt and jeans to school in 58 degree F weather and be FINE, but the same temp indoors, without any rain or wind, and he’s FREEZING!! I will need better earplugs to ignore the whining because I am not turning on the heat until (a) it is at least November and (b) we have a frost. As long as it is still in the 60 degree F range during the day, the house is not freezing.

  38. Somebody, somewhere, must have a appropriate picture for lolcats that can say, “blog still broken. Make blog go?”
    So lolcats of you, Ms Harlot.

  39. Wow. That must have been some butterfly flapping its wings across the globe to cause such a blog rukus. Perhaps one of the children is not so innocent? Or, if not them, the squirrel? (they are very crafty!)

  40. Yay! I got my Harlot fix before the baby even woke up. Hooray for Jason and welcome back Stephanie!

  41. While the boys at the tech center tend to be incompetent, clearly, this Jason is not. Thus, we should mail him socks.

  42. Yay! Blog go.
    Totally under the influence of said blog, I told the IT person at work the other day to “Make server go.”
    She just didn’t see the humor. I need to teach her to knit.

  43. Obviously, the chaos in your home (aka Joe’s things that ought not be where they are) is causing chaos in other sectors of your life. Perhaps this could be used as a means to regain home turf?

  44. Tech guys…no matter how low they whistle or how many expletives they yell, you know that they’re secretly excited that they get to solve whatever mystery problem you’re having.
    Does Jason need any socks?

  45. um, maybe your server was cold. Knit it a sweater, hat and some socks!
    or drink heavily after another round of Downward Dogging.

  46. At work we refer to mysql as “my squirrel” Its a sign…the revenge of the backyard fleece steeling squirrel, hampered in his fleece steeling efforts, it has decided to attack the blog.

  47. I broke mine yesterday by putting away “The first book of modern lace knitting” and knocking a plug out of the wall (bye bye router, wireless internet and blog). My first words to my personal tech support guy were “Blog broke, make blog go husband”. I feel a link there but I swear that it’s unconnected to your problem. Honestly.

  48. I didn’t even know you were missing since I just got back from 5 wonderful days of knitting retreat in the land of Shelley, the Kauni queen. Bought the new blue colorway to do autumn leaves. Hope Jason’s fix lasts. See you in Tacoma in Feb.

  49. …it’s Ghoulies and Ghosties at work…we’ve been experiencing weird and random technical glitches all over our little town in the past 24 hours. Servers refusing to serve, connections disconnecting…thank the Goddess for a nice skein of purple alpaca and St. Peter’s Ale πŸ˜€

  50. What is that beautiful freakin’ sock yarn?!?!?
    In the furnace non-war here (Seattle), I’m freezing but determined to make it through Halloween. Bundled up, indeed.

  51. ::dies:: Hilarious! Or it would be, if it wasn’t so unfortunate. Kudos to Jason on the tech support line. And I am impressed at all the sock knitting – at least it was good sock knitting time.

  52. Hi! Maybe the server just decided to celebrate Day of the Dead a little early – and a little too vigourously. And Jason must have had on his Superman costume today.
    And the socks look pretty cool too.
    By the way, did we ever get a confession concerning any fiber that followed you home from Rhinebeck?

  53. Mercury has been retrograde. (Well, still is.) Everything gets screwed up when that happens. I managed to wreck a fleece on the weekend.

  54. I think those socks need to be christened “Server Savior Socks” or somesuch.
    I’m waiting for the closet analogy though.
    Did the clothesrod fall down while you were at yoga, maybe all by itself or maybe through some cosmic shift or a train going by, so that all the clothes fell down, knocking over the stash yarn and the storage boxes and jamming the door shut? Is that what happened?
    : )

  55. Downward dog is supposed to be a resting pose (or so our instructor purrs as my wrists threaten to cave if she makes us hold it any longer than the proscribed five breaths)!
    And I’m only reading this at work because I’m resisting the certain knowledge that I have borked something on this entry I’m trying to make in the catalogue database which means I will have to shut down and lose all the stupid settings that I have to establish each time I boot it.
    Boot it. That’s a good idea.
    Jason, do you know anything about Oracle?

  56. Around here “Woah….what the….”‘s start at about $65 ea. So every time I fix the computers at home I tell my hubby that I just saved him $65. I never get paid but do make the point.

  57. A big Thanks to whomever fix-ed the blog. I’m assuming what we are seeing here is the work of a non glitched backup. We all know that backing up your files and databases regularly is a good idea. I’m just saying is all….

  58. Ooof. I need to find a “real” job. I was sitting here trying to diagnose your problem from your blog… I’m having computer withdrawal!
    OTOH, next time Ken gets sucked into his real job and can’t “make blog go” give me a call and we’ll see what I can do πŸ™‚

  59. Don’t we all have a Love, HATE, HATE, HATE relationship with our computers?!? I need to reboot and the “spinning ball of death” keeps showing up! But, I’ll have to close all my windows…. Maybe, it will last just a little longer before it says “No more!”.
    I really like the pattern you wrote for the Socks That Rock Club! I can’t wait to get started. I’m just a little behind on the other socks, though! Just not enough time for knitting!

  60. It’s going around. There’s an evil army of glitches running all over the freakin’ place. I’m taking a page out of your book and having a beer, I think. Glad you’re back!

  61. Well, at least while you were so steamed about blog not go you wouldn’t need extra heat in the house! Or maybe it was the karma of the sock that actually fixed it and not Jason?

  62. *snrk* It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking coffee. I’m sure his mind was going a mile a minute wondering what on earth downward dog was.

  63. Gotta watch out for that Down Dog, Stephanie. It’s a very powerful posture (not kidding). However, it usually makes stuff go *right*. I’ve just spent three days trying to get the old RAM in my computer to play with the new RAM. It won’t. We have to try a new chip density, having already tried all possible configurations of four RAM modules (one, two, two, one, four this way, four that way, stand on head and . . . oops, that’s yoga again, dangerous), and updated the BIOS. COMPUTERS.

  64. I think the blog is in league with Joe’s gansey. It was trying to free up some time for you to work on it. You know, like letting someone go ahead of you in the checkout line, especially since they only have two items and you have a full cart. Or letting an old person have your seat on the bus. (you gotta admit– the gansey qualifies as elderly. How long has it been, anyway?)
    BTW: I think it’s safe to finish the sweater now. He’s been with you thru diapers and teenagers, you’ve got the ring on your finger, and an anniversary somewhere around here. You are probably safe from the sweater curse.

  65. Your ‘equivalents’ of the blog parts are pretty accurate. Though, it’s possibly more accurate to say that your blog’s brain corrupted, and the eyes, hands, mouth, and other parts were flapping around confusedly because of it πŸ˜‰

  66. You know, the smartest thing I ever did was to marry my tech support. The guy can fix anything computer related. Of course, this also means we have more problems than normal computer users but as long as he can fix them, I’m okay (if sometimes impatient) with that. As I get older and all of the advice I want to give my daughters as they grow up becomes outdated an/or disproved, the one thing I tell them over and over still stands true: “Marry a Geek.” Word.

  67. I’m glad the problem is fixed.
    Don’t worry about not understanding the parts. I’m an IT person and my son keeps things going here at home. So when something breaks I say “Fix it”. Once it’s fixed I ask what was wrong (hoping he can dumb it down) and he usually answers “Stuff”.
    Oh well, he has to keep me happy. I make his socks since he can’t buy them to fit (he wears a size US 18 EEEE shoe). I can find shoes, but no one makes socks that large. Yes, I calculated the stitches and I can make a sweater with the same number of stitches in a pair of socks.
    You just keep doing what you do so well. Those that do tech things can do them and you can spread joy with your “Purls of wisdom”.
    PS. Are you sure Joe didn’t do something to help you?
    Deb in PA

  68. Haha! “Make blog go!” Literal LOL-ing over here.
    Sock is fab – I knit while I’m on the phone as well, though not that fast. I’m glad the blog’s back. =)

  69. Clearly yoga was too effective and you relaxed too much. The blogiverse felt the need to correct this problem. Much like when I got sassy last week and made the stupid comment (in the middle of helping to upgrade 30 computers in 2 days) that “I think I’ve got this down”. The next computer proved me wrong and I spent 45 minutes on the phone with the upgrade manager trying to figure out why this computer, which seemed to be identical to the last 5 computers, was not doing what the last 5 had done. *sigh*

  70. I’m with Barbara on this one! I shacked up with my techie too. When you can find a man who can fix your computer, program your video, and stop the washing machine making that funny noise, you should leap on him and never let go. Especially if he has a cute bum.
    Ten years and counting, next week!

  71. Hey Harlot! That’s the first thing I do to fix my computer glitches too. Sigh, have a beer and watch House.
    Glad you are back! Happy Hallowe’en!

  72. “This is how much sock you can knit while you talk to the very helpful Jason at tech support.”
    And by “you,” you mean “me.” I suspect I would’ve knit… less sock.
    Enough about me. You were gone and I’m glad you’re back.

  73. Hi Steph, I was so afraid it was ME when I couldn’t post my comment yesterday! I rarely do and I was afraid that I had previously been banned for leaving dorky comments or something. I wanted to know that I was in admiration of your furnace wars, and was fortified to keep mine off indefinitely, since my thermostat was broken and my husband is a procrastinator- like me. Somehow yesterday he had the urge to fix it and turn it on. He was being sweet and helpful, good man!
    Glad you got your blog straightened out. Sometimes it is easy to think, “Oh, if I get away and take care of myself something is SURE to go wrong.” No need to delay the yoga, stuff will always go wrong anyway whether you are taking care of yourself or not, might as well breathe.

  74. Well…… I wonder if it had something to do with squirrel revenge, that sql thingy. Not sure, but maybe Jason would know? :O) Glad things are back to normal. Well normalish. I missed you!

  75. Booooo happy Halloween. Maybe the spooks did a little hankey pankey early on your computer. Glad its ok now and nice sock .

  76. I’m back. I just had a flashback to the day I had to call Sears repair and tell them a gerbil had holed up in our portable dishwasher while we were away. Neighbour child ignored instructions to not under any circumstance open the door to his cage. :O/ He bit her and ran! The repair guys laughed. And laughed. And the repair guy who came to the house chuckled the whole time he checked out the machine for chewed wires or whatever, while I swept up chewed insulation. In the end they didn’t charge me because they said it was the funniest repair call they’d had! :O)
    p.s. we caught the little begger with a box propped up by a toothpick, and a peanut butter laden cracker…

  77. Thank goodness you weren’t in Warrior pose. I shudder to think of it. And there was your server in Savasana.
    Socks for Jason, who make blog go! He is *much* smarter and more patient than “Mr. Just White Paint, please.”

  78. This is the best blog post ever. Glad your blog is working again. I’m a computer tech and I can tell you, sometimes you don’t have to do anything to cause a server crash. It could just be the age of the server your blog is running on. I hope your server and database get backed up often. If this happens again, it will be easy to come back from disaster.

  79. I sympathize with the aggrivation of having no idea what the person on the other end of the phone is saying while talking to “tech support”. Aren’t they supposed to translate tech into idiot for us???
    I’m really glad that you got up and running again, and while I am ususally a huge fan of Ken…doesn’t he realize that a server issue with the blog is WAY more important than that “real job” thing??? And, if he had seen the importance, he could have probably logged on to the server from that place and fixed the issue, all the while appearing to the onlooking co-workers like he was working. Flawless logic, I tell you, flawless.
    The blog thanks you for getting us back. We were feeling neglected.

  80. I agree, Marry the Nerds and the Jack of all trades. My hubby of 28 years can fix just about anything. From cars to plumbing, electrical, carpentry and computers. The problem is to get him to finish the job before starting another.
    Jason might be good at tech support, but next time ask for my son Alan, the longest he has had anyone on the phone with computer problems is 20 minutes.

  81. Blog not go? Why blog not go? Me make blog go…you not have me make blog go? So sad. Me knit, beg mate, “Make blog go!”
    And Mate says, “What in the !@## did you do?”
    I gotta tell you, Downward Dog is not a bad answer, since the last time I personally answered this question it was along the lines of ‘The baby watered the laptop and then sat on it to make it grow.’ You don’t get a lot of sympathy for an answer like that, nosirree…

  82. People are mentioning Mercury again. If I were you, dear Harlot, at this point I’d seriously have to ask myself what in the hell I did to piss Mercury off so much.

  83. Happy Halloween, or Samhain, the Day of the Dead, when the veil between the worlds thins and spirits may try to contact us. Hmm… did you perhaps upgrade in a past life?

  84. you poor thing. I work in Silicon Valley and can attest that when the tech support guy says, “What the ??!!” that it is a very bad sign. Good thing you’re all fixed now. No more yoga for you–it breaks the server.

  85. Oh, and you called tech support on Halloween and you got a guy named *Jason*? Did his voice sound sort of muffled, like maybe he was wearing a hockey mask?
    OTOH clearly he made blog go, so he is a beneficent spirit after all. Never mind.

  86. who cares what happened? as long as you’re back, up and running! whew!

  87. Lemme guess … you’re going out for Hallowe’en as a RAM.
    Nah, what would be really scary is for you to be somebuddy un-funny. Like, say, Steven Harper.

  88. Happy Hallowe’en! Maybe a goblin got in the works? The sock is nice – at least you had something calming to do during the phone call….

  89. Oh Steph. There are no words for how much I relate to this. Last Wednesday night my apple laptop just stopped booting. I just had that stupid apple staring at me. If I tried to do anything it did what my computer geek of a brother called “kernal panic”. They shouldn’t say things like “panic” to me in situations like this. So there I am on the phone saying things like, “be quiet girls, Mommy is panicking.” while my brother just says, hmm. He thought I might need a new hard drive. Okay, I’ll buy a hard drive. Nada. Still doesn’t work. So Friday I took the day off work and drove an hour to my brother to look at it in person. Now my brother works for Symantec (the we protect you from computer viruses guys) and he pulled in the apple hardware guy and they try stuff and start saying things like “this is really weird. I shouldn’t really do that. It says there isn’t anything wrong, it just ‘kernal panics’.” Then he sends me to the apple store, where they are currently holding my computer hostage. For a great deal of money. There is talk of sending it to California. Did I mention it is 1 1/2 months out of warranty and I have GREs and a PhD application I am supposed to be working on on that laptop right now? Sigh. Steph, I so sympathize. Make laptop go. (I am going to go curl up with some tea and yarn for a few minutes before the girls get home and I have to transform them into the undead)

  90. I can’t tell you how much I love you. ^_^
    Besides, the fact that you’re a Mac user warms my heart and makes up for what you lack in Computer!Geek-itude.

  91. That is an awful lot of sock accomplished while waiting for tech support to, er, um, support you.
    Make blog go, indeed.
    Have a chocolate and knit – you’ll feel much better.

  92. Ever since FIT last March, “make blog go!” has taken on a life of it’s own in our home ;-D not that this helps you one bit, but I thought you might like to know you are invoked often here…hope the blog is going again soon. broken blog bad. Meanwhile, maybe a little more downward dog is in order.

  93. got to thinking yesterday… wouldn’t it be cool if you could trick or treat for yarn??? i mean i love chocolate and all but….happy halloween!!!

  94. got to thinking yesterday… wouldn’t it be cool if you could trick or treat for yarn??? -kath
    I so agree w/ u! But, yarn’s expensive….. Oh well.

  95. While I’m certainly glad that the blog is back up and running… being a programmer, handling a lot of these kinds of issues I can’t help myself from wondering what the problem really was!

  96. Wow. Thanks for reminding me to backup my blog. I back up my laptop often (been through that trouble before) but the blog doesn’t remind me to back it up as effectively as the laptop can.
    So sorry ’bout the adrenaline-rush feelings. At least you have knitting to focus upon every time the tech guy acts confused. Aaargh, that must have been very frustrating!
    Hugs from Lansing, MI, USA… where the leaves have never been so beautiful.

  97. See, that’s why I sit on the couch and watch tv, it’s better for the server. Actually, I sit in a hotel bed and listen to Lime ‘n’ Violet, but my bum can’t tell the difference.
    Glad you got and like the dishcloth! Enjoy!

  98. There is some confusion here. Downward facing DOG is fine. It’s downward facing BLOG that is obviously the big problem! Glad it was all solved quickly.

  99. You’re back! Huzzah!
    Ah yes… the perils of Downward Dog… that’s why I don’t exercise. Too risky for the computer.

  100. Steph says: “This is how much sock you can knit while you talk to the very helpful Jason at tech support.”
    Well, no, actually not even close. That is how much sock YOU can knit while talking to the tech guy. That much sock takes me several days. But I’ve seen you knit (on youtube) and it is just a blur. When I knit, even a snail could follow along.

  101. two words: Mercury Retrograde.
    and you thought you had escaped during the final day of it? heh heh heh.. happens to us all eventually.
    glad it’s fixed πŸ™‚

  102. Some time when you’re talking to Jason you might want to mention what temperature you’re keeping that computer at. Maybe it makes a difference.
    My iMac, is, I grant you, about 6 years old (what’s that in computer years, about 118?) but even when it was a spring chicken of only 2 or 3 it got temperamental when chilly.

  103. Wow, if you do this for Halloween, I can’t wait to see what happens on April 1st. πŸ™‚

  104. Even my husband, who while being supremely supportive of my whole yarn addiction is nevertheless still weirded out by the concept of knitting blogs, thought this post was funny.
    You may have to develop a new category system for the archives. “Muggle Friendly” and “Other”…

  105. Your blog problems scare me. There’s no further ripple effect reported?
    This isn’t a techno replica of The Ring?
    Let’s hope not.
    Good job Jason!

  106. I have an inner thigh muscle that still occasionally complains about an attempt I made at hero’s pose about 6 or 7 years ago.
    Try telling people you have an old yoga injury, though you don’t actually do yoga. Pilates, yes; yoga, no. But someone on an exercise video forum I read described the pose (like baby pose with your rear between, not on, your feet and so closer to the ground) and I hoped down on the floor to try to do it. Did it too quickly.
    So I’d agree – computers and yoga are a dangerous combination. Thank goodness the results of your conflict between the two forces healed more quickly.

  107. Well, you aren’t supposed to do inverted poses at certain times of the month. Is the blog experiencing other hormonal symptoms? πŸ˜‰
    I just love that comment about that not being something he’d expect the server to have problems with!
    I know you say you’re not a fast knitter, but I can’t believe how quickly you whipped that ribbing out.
    Glad the blog’s back.

  108. Thank the Goddess. I thought it was me. I had written a witty comment, probably one of my Finest Comments Ever in fact, and the blog ate it. I have of course now totally forgotten it, so I’ll settle for nice sock, and glad to see you back!

  109. The server was jealous, or it was stressed out, or it just really really felt lonely and tired and needed to have a bit of a tantrum followed by a nice nap. I know, it sounds crazy, but I’m here in the bowels of IT land, and it happens. Technically, there are bigger, more rational explanations, but really, it was a temper tantrum. Servers need naps too, sometimes.

  110. Babe: it was the server.
    Don’t sweat it, just knit more and listen less to the geek-speek.
    As a knitting geek (ack!) I KNOW it was the server, not you.
    Glad the tekkee fixed it for you, with minimum of pain on your end.

  111. it was some weird screwed up trick all the servers were playing yesterday so we’d give them treats (one of mine asked kindly for RAM with a chocolate coating and nougat filling and a shiny new network card with sprinkles before it stopped) .. my servers started these shenanigans last week. i’m just hoping they behave today. i have my memory of my own and they won’t get any treats for the holidays if they keep this behaviour up.

  112. I’ve been catching up on blog-reading and have to mention I LOVE the mittens! So gorgeous–you’re giving me ideas, but I don’t think I possess the talent or skills. Can’t wait to see them finished and keeping the furnace war going!

  113. Thank goodness there are people like Jason who can wade their way through the heiroglyphics that computers chuck at us. What a great guy! On the subject of great guys, please wish yours a very happy birthday today. πŸ™‚

  114. UNFAIR! You made me laugh out loud several times…not a good thing when you’re reading blogs at work. Fortunately, since I work for a newspaper Web site I can kinda justify reading blogs … gotta keep up with what’s out there, right???

  115. Glad you’re back and the blog’s okay.
    I had a similar reaction – the long low whistle – from an exterminator in my basement once. It is a scary sound.

  116. First thing you did after Jason’s magic was a back-up, right? Always scary when the computer won’t work — glad you’re back in business. Your blog brightens my day. P.S. Pat (Baadeck Yarns) says Hi.

  117. So- yoga is ood for people… bad for blogs..
    Got it. I’ll stick with pilates… but that could kill the whole internet!
    Maybe chocolate and tea an knitting- seems to bew safe;)
    Hope all is better for you. ts

  118. Like commenters Annette and Jenn C before me, I think Jason must have worked some serious magic and yes, you ought to have the hosting people run diagnostics on your hardware.
    As a database administrator & web software development manager in real life, I’m pretty sure Jason deserves some socks for bringing the blog & MySQL back from the brink of death.
    How funny would it be if we all secretly sent him a single sock, or all sent him a single swatch? I bet he’d plotz. But! It’d be a good exercise in muggle baiting…

  119. Saw this the day after and was struck by a couple of things–the bit about the tech guy in awe of the level of screwedness of your problem and also the comparison by you of the techwhatever to pancreas, spleen, and gallbladder. I was in hospital 6 weeks this spring/summer because my gallbladder was throwing stones right and left (didn’t know I even had any) and one got lodged and caused my pancreas to go haywire. Much like your tech support guy, my doctors were wowed and amazed. Direct quote regarding the pancreatitis: “Dude, your pancreas is seriously pissed off and impressively so!” (We shall ignore the fact that this doctor wore ripped jeans & said “Dude!” to a patient.) Fortunately I was quite righteously doped up or I would have sarcastically commented about being glad he was entertained by me almost being collateral damage in the War of My Internal Organs. And yes, I got lots of knitting done. They had their needles and I had mine, baby. I had to call for yarn reinforcements several times after using all that I had initially brought with me to the emergency room. πŸ™‚
    I’ve been thinking of taking up yoga. Gonna have to watch out for that Downward Dog, though. Not sure I’ve got the patience left to deal with the resulting tech nightmare! Thanks for the warning!

  120. ‘Mysql’ …. my squirrel! The plot thickens….
    Consider calling ‘Jason’ on Christmas Eve. It appears to promote fast knitting — and anything helps as the 3:00 a.m. deadline looms.
    My profound sympathies as a woman who has spent at least 60 hours since August trying to get a plug-and-play (HA!) printer to install properly.
    I could blame it on the Incredible Sink Hole which whacked out power and service in the center of London, Ontario yesterday… but I really think it was the squirrel.

  121. I’m with Tina B. Imagine how stressful this would have been without the yoga first! Better check your stash in case “mysql” was a server crashing distraction to cover fiber thieving rodent activity. Good looking sock, though, especially for knitting under duress.

  122. I am not a knitter. I am husband who is oft called upon to hold yarn and comment on questions about texture differences when I don’t feel the difference. Man no knit. Man don’t know textiles. Just the same, knitting lady blog funny.

  123. Oh yeah – I sympathize with both of you.
    I’ve been in Jason’s shoes. He wanted to know WTF HAPPENED!?!?! so he could keep it from happening again. You’d be amazed how often we ask “What have you changed on your computer” and are told nothing…then 20 minutes into trying to figure out what broke things a casual mention of “Oh I did just upgrade from Windows 98 to Vista” gets thrown in…so with no insult intended to Your Harlotness, he was continuing to try to get you to say something that would tip him off to what the heck went wrong. Bravo to Jason! And bravo to you for not jumping up and down and saying “Is it fixed yet? Are you done? I just clicked on this and it still doesn’t work” and all sorts of other things that make. us. crazy. I still haven’t figured out how people think we’re supposed to concentrate on fixing their problem when they’re calling every 3 minutes…and if I knew what was wrong it would already be fixed so STOP WITH THE ETA QUESTIONS ALREADY!!
    Sigh. I need to knit for a living instead of running a data center….

  124. Add me to the people who translate mysql to my squirrel. And who doesn’t know what the heck the thing does.
    Love that sock pattern though.

  125. I love blog. Glad blog was made to go. I wonder if Jason will now check out the blog and find out that he is famous around the world…knitters everywhere will revere him…as long as blog continues to go.
    I wonder if the yarn goddess has sneaked into your computer to slap you in a whole new way. You do order yarn on that computer. You do blog about knitting on that computer. You probably note pattern things on that computer. We know you write some books about the knitting on that computer. She probably decided it was fair game. SHE NEEDS TO BACK OFF!!! Maybe…

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