This might be a message

My darling Joe, a man of tremendous fortitude and almost impossibly optimistic nature, is having a bad week.

Joe has a terrible old sky blue pickup that he uses to move gear around. The thing can’t be trusted to move people around since it fails frequently, and it is my belief that the whole truck is held together simply by force of habit. (Joe says that’s not true, and duct tape and twist ties need the credit they deserve.) Every couple of months another piece falls off, or Joe discovers that it has an odd new quirk (like you have to keep the clutch in a little bit all the time that you are driving, or that second gear is suddenly not available unless you keep the window rolled down) and long ago it became the sort of car that only he can drive, since the list of work-arounds required to make it go is too complex for anyone else to learn.

On his way home from somewhere a while ago, the brake light came on…and it turned out, as Joe discovered in a fairly traumatic incident that shouldn’t be discussed, that this was because the truck had opted out of having brakes. (Though largely, Joe learns a way to live with the trucks failings….even he agreed that brakes were sort of important.) Joe somehow got it to the garage, convinced a guy there that it could be rehabilitated, and asked them if they would fix the rust (so that pieces stop falling off) and repaint the back of the beast while they were at it.

A few days later, Joe needed to be in Welland (a couple of hours away) and borrowed his dad’s car to make the trip. On the way there, as Joe drove responsibly and legally through a green light, an 18 year old girl in her dads car (bad day for the dads) turned left directly into him at a good clip, and while Joe was fine, his dad’s car was trashed. Now, we don’t have to get into the embarrassment of getting your dad’s car trashed when you are almost 40…but you can assume it’s substantial. Rough day, but Joe laughed it off.

Luckily, the truck was fixed, so Joe went to the bank to withdraw the cash to pay for it. Imagine his shock when he tried to withdraw cash, and was told he didn’t have any. Apparently, sometime while he was driving around with no brakes or being smashed in a car accident, he was the victim of identity theft. (Joe would like to take a moment to point out the irony of having his identity stolen the week that nobody in their right mind would want to be him) and felons unknown had emptied every single dime out of his bank account. Joe, possessing the optimism and good nature mentioned above, called the bank and sorted it out, (the money is back) and spent the rest of the day changing passwords, reopening accounts and generally rewiring his life.

Done this (and rather done himself) he got a buddy to drive him to the garage, where he discovered that for reasons that are as mysterious as the movement of the stars, the rear of the truck, while now rust free…had been painted a different colour than the front. The garage has offered to fix it, so Joe sighed, made a date to get that done, (a day after his dad’s car has been fixed) pulled out of the garage….

and was soundly and firmly rear ended at a stop sign, thus rendering the colour (and existence) of the new paint job completely moot.

He’s fine…but it did finally break him, as he slammed his hands into the steering wheel, cast his eyes heavenward and finally, after failed brakes, two car accidents, identity theft, having all of his money stolen and his truck painted funny, not to mention the indignity of having to tell his dad that his new car’s trashed…he lost it. He finally snapped and freaked the frak out. On the Joe scale- he hit a 10. What did he say? What filth was he moved to? What was the only response possible after this series of troubles and indignities? Imagine how you would behave, and then prepare yourself, because after all of that, after being tested in every possible way and being pushed to his very limit….Joe sat in the smashed truck and said:

“Oh, COME ON.”

I love that guy.

380 thoughts on “This might be a message

  1. I’m first? REALLY?
    If he didn’t totally freak out over that, then girl, you’ve got a KEEPER! Hang on to him; he’s obviously worth his weight in gold!

  2. If all that stuff happened to me you’d definitely need to take me yarn shopping! Maybe Joe needs to go tool shopping? What makes a guy as happy as yarn petting makes knitters?

  3. Poor Joe! I hope things turn around for him now … seems like he deserves a nice long stretch of nothing but good stuff. And you’re a *very* lucky woman to have such an even-tempered mate πŸ™‚

  4. Bless him and his cosmically targeted self. Apparently, though, that should cover all the crappy happenings and he should have a spectacular time the next two decades at least.

  5. Er, Steph…time to get that man to a medic…we all know he has a larger and more appropriate vocabulary for times like that…
    Since he probably refused to go…I do hope you had nice cold beer(s) in the frig for him when he returned from the car wars…and possibly one or two for his father too…

  6. I believe what goes around comes around and he will be rewarded for his patience and fortitude despite the short break throughs of “normal” male behavior. cecilia

  7. appropos of nothing, i wanted to let you know how much i look forward to reading your blogs…i am almost exclusively a lurker in the cyberworld but, just in case joe’s week is having an impact on your week, and just in case positive feedback cheers you in some small way, i wanted to weigh in in the “you go, girl” camp

  8. He is a saint. He has definitely used all his bad luck up for some time to come.
    The whole acronym “WWJD?” has a new meaning for me.

  9. You know, I might have said just the same thing. What else can you say after all that? Most swear words just wouldn’t be up to the job. I would have lost it way way way sooner than him though. I’m hoping he was reasonably close to a nice cold beer or ten.

  10. Holy Crap!! They would have had to put my away somewhere cause I would have burst a vein. Sometimes knitting is the only thing that keeps me out of an institution. He a good man!!!

  11. Now if only that final rear-ender managed to do something that would result in a fix to whatever was going to fail on the truck next… but that would have been good luck, which Joe is apparently not getting this month.

  12. note to self: don’t ride with Joe.
    Bless him (and the gods that he was uninjured in both accidents).

  13. A man worth his weight in wool. You’ve surely found a keeper.
    Karmic balance will come around to bless him. In the meantime, knit the man a nice pair of socks.

  14. By the way, best piece of medical advice after an accident I ever got was, keep moving gently. All day. Do not lay down and take a nap. Consciously relax the muscles and keep them moving gently, the whole day.
    I’d been rear-ended four times, the last time by far the hardest, but with that advice I came away with the least muscle damage and pain that time, it was very minimal. The brain swelling that set in the next day but didn’t get diagnosed in time to avoid the brain damage, though, that’s another story. Pay attention to his pupils: if they become different sizes get him in to the doctor pronto!

  15. Possibly the only bright spot is that maybe he has paid his dues for bad stuff and will be enjoying a jinx-free next few decades! Yikes.

  16. Having been the recipient of one too many of Those Weeks myself, I have to admit that “Oh, Come on!” is the least that makes it out of my mouth.

  17. Okay–I just read that to my class as an example of a contemporary narrative essay. They all agreed that Joe sounds “Hecka nice.” From these kids, that means he should be canonized into the hall of sainthood for husbands. I wish him good karma, wool socks, and a few laughs to make up for a week like this. It’s only fair…

  18. I can so relate. Two summers ago, it was the summer of car hell. My husbands (expensive to repair) truck died, he hit a deer in his classic 70 Challenger, our daughter was t-boned by a small tractor in her classic 68 Dodge Dart, and the water pump went out in my Jeep. This was in a one week period. I’m afraid I wasn’t as gracious as Joe, although I did give extensive thanks to the Gods of Detroit Steel (daughter and husband walked away unscathed, can’t say as much for the deer). Steph, give that man cold beer, good food, and praise, praise, praise. He’s a diamond.

  19. Please tell Joe to be careful. Accidents like that tend to leave injuries which sneak up on you. I had an accident a few years ago with a friend (and two kids) in the car. I ended up with whiplash and my friend had a bruised kidney… all of which showed up a couple of days after the accident.

  20. Oh! Poor Joe! I had one of those weeks a few months ago…my bike was stolen, a drug-dealer’s ho ended up on my doorstep all beat up…the list just went on. Identity theft simply SUCKS, I hope they have figured out a better way to deal with it in Canada than they do here in the US.
    You’re a good guy, Joe! It’ll get better!

  21. Our motto this year has been: “If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger”…we can do anything.
    But I agree with Joe..’Come on already’
    Tina

  22. For a minute there, you could have been talking about my Joe, but he would have had at least one obscenity, just for good measure.
    What a horrible series of occurrences. I bet that the universe has quite the 2008 in store for him, so it had to make sure he paid his dues now.

  23. Ohhh, I’m right there with Betty, above! I’d have needed a bottle of wine AND a bottle of Prozac AND my knitting after that terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week!
    Stephanie, forget the socks and buy your darling Joe a nice shiny new truck.

  24. The way I see it, the universe owes your good man a truck. A truck in good working order, and possibly even not at all rusty.

  25. Wow. What a guy to have dealt with all that in such a short space of time. Thank God that he wasn’t injured, and I hope nothing else nasty pops up! Like others said, watch out for injuries that might show themselves in a couple of days.
    I’ll join the others in hoping that he’s used up all of his bad luck for a long, long time. Wishing you all well! =)

  26. No one in the universe would believe that story of anyone else…except our dear Harlot! (laughing hysterically)
    And we do know why Joe can take this with such mild invectives…he’s married to a Knitter!!!! πŸ™‚

  27. I love your writing. That was a great essay – a nice build-up, pictures painted with words, and a funny climax. Thanks. It made me laugh.
    Tasha

  28. Poor Joe, that really is a no good, awful, rotten, stinking bad day.
    I’m glad he’s all right. What’s with the drivers up there, anyway? Hey! Hosers! Wake up! There still a good 6 months of winter driving, eh!

  29. All people deserve to have someone like that in their life, and a few lucky ones get to marry them. I hope his luck turns around!
    Jesse
    PS: A man like that deserves a really nice handspun sweater(coughganseycough)

  30. Despite the absolutely horrible day(s), Joe’s reaction totally made me smile. Inside and out. I wish more people were like that…heck I wish I was like that!

  31. maybe joe should buy some lottery tickets this week? something good has to come his way! honestly.

  32. Holy shit!
    That’s what I say, and I wasn’t even involved in any of it! I can’t imagine the rectitude (or something) that would restrain a man to c’mon!

  33. poor JOE!!!! i love that his reaction was still so tame, what a guy!!!
    let him know that knitters the world over are thinking of him during his hellish week, and thinking warm thoughts.

  34. Wow. Dude. What a way to Zen…really, I’m impressed! And also, it did bring a smile to my face after an incredibly rotten five days I’ve had (and it’s not over yet) – so thanks and hope life is much better from here on out for poor Joe!

  35. Hey–just an ordinary day at our house. My sweetie is the totally proud owner of a beat-up 1980 Chevy van that sounds just like Joe’s. Nobody else will ride in it, but he absolutely LOVES it–and he’s NEVER sworn at it (but I do).
    Sometimes it’s a little dicey, but it always starts….

  36. Poor Joe! Give him a big hug. I’m sure you already have (give him another one). What a saint. I hope that is the end of the bad stuff, and that life will get back to normal again!

  37. Man, I was breaking out in hives just reading that stressful story. You truly are lucky to have a man who is so easygoing!

  38. While I love my guy, and think he’s all kinds of awesome, and totally deserving of the finest of handknits including knee high socks, well… the air would have been blue if that had been him. Seriously, my guy swears at the video game if it goes awry.
    Joe, you’ve got know where to go but up from here and I hope that you soar high.

  39. Seriously, I would have said something more than “Oh COME ON!” But I do applaud his self restraint.

  40. Steph, just so you know, there are meds to cause AAALLLLL the rest of us to be just as calm and placid as Joe. I could prescribe them to you if you’d like…particularly if you find you do in fact need to warp the time-space continuum to finish for Christmas this year!
    And, Joe, I’m glad you’re ok!

  41. If all that had happened to me in a week I may have responded the same way, but it would be because I had used up all my other vocabulary on the previous incidents. Wow.

  42. I do believe you are living with a saint. I would have let fly a string of words unbecoming to a lady. I’m in awe of his calmness in the face of multiple mishaps.

  43. Breathe a sigh of relief. He should have much better luck now. Stuff like this ALWAYS happens in threes. As my Mom says after a trilogy of bad luck happens in our family, “Well, at least no one died.”
    Oh, and give that man a beer. πŸ™‚

  44. Wow. That man deserves the largest banana split you can find. Assuming of course that he actually likes banana splits.
    If not, then whatever his favorite dessert is. He gets it. A whole one.
    All for himself.
    Poor guy.

  45. I am rather surprised at how many people didn’t take the opportunity to suggest that such a week deserves a gansey.
    I’m not really prone to uttering obscenities either but when I was rear-ended a few weeks ago I must admit that I had more colourful things to say than Come on.

  46. Wow! What a story. I’ve had weeks that compared (two of them in my life that were as bad as that) and I had a lot more to say than “Oh, Come on!” I’m glad that Joe is okay…that is after all the most important part, but wow.

  47. I would have been hiding in the closet, babbling senselessly, with some nice simple garter stitch knitting in hand (on some not very pointy needles) after the incident with dad’s car.
    At least he was able to tell his dad that the car is toast, but it wasn’t his fault. I had a friend in high school who drove her parent’s sports car (which she was not allowed to touch) into town one day while they were away and promptly backed it into a plowblade. Score: steel plow 1; fiberglass sports car 0. Try explaining that to your folks.

  48. I am not allowed to laugh this hard at work. (In fact, while it’s not technically in the employee handbook, I’m not sure I’m allowed to laugh here at all.) What a week. The poor man. Sorry, Joe.
    Last week at knitting group someone was telling a story about someone she knew who had dated a very hot and well-known actor. “Holy s**t!” I said, and was immediately scolded by my daughter, who was immediately informed that, no, in this case “holy s**t” was the correct expression. (*** Very*** hot.) My point here is that I shudder to imagine what I would say, but I hope that my daughter would not be in the car with me at that moment, or, if she were, that I would manage to switch to a foreign language in time. (I could teach you some nice Russian vocabulary, should you ever be interested.)

  49. That man deserves a gansey, a lovingly handspun, handknit gansey, which, if I were married to such a wonderful person, I would have finished by now, instead of being distracted by sweaters and whatnot for myself. (Feeling guilty yet, dear? I think Ms. Rams and Presbytera have not been doing their jobs recently.)
    By Christmas at the latest, you hear?

  50. I am glad that Joe is ok! I can’t believe that’s all he said! I think most of us would have used one or two choice words. πŸ™‚

  51. Aw, poor Joe! What a good guy for not using the always over-used F-bomb. Here’s to hoping that everything is fixed and put in good order soon. Remember, bad things come in threes (or fours or fives, depending…)

  52. That totally reminds me of my father (also named Joe). You never hear my father swear. Then one day my mom is dropping him off at a construction site he was working at. It was a muddy mess, so she kept pulling up closer and closer so he wouldn’t have to trek thru it. He finally yells, after trying to exit the car numerous times only to have it start moving again, “what the #$@* are you doing”? It was the most hysterical thing we had ever heard. My mom just busted out laughing at him.

  53. I’m having one of those weeks–a car accident, (my fault) poison oak on my face and major cut backs at work–while not quite close to Joe’s, I’ve already said worse than that. He deserves a beer! or 12. Enjoy him!

  54. oh. Joe. Hope your week gets better…. maybe some socks or a gansey would help?
    for women we throw virtual chocolate and coffee for comfort- what about Joe? Should we throw Meat? Beer? or maybe—-an airbag;)
    best wishes. and we all firmly agree.
    Oh. Come. On.
    πŸ˜‰

  55. I love that guy too. He has apparently adapted to living in a houseful of women well…no shrieking or hissyfits thrown. Tell him I feel his pain (mine is bambi number one, bambi number two, Amber, and bambi number three between March and October in my new car…and the duckling in the driver’s ed car; you have squirrels, I have deer). He’s a unique custom model that Joe. You’d best keep him (like you didn’t already know)

  56. Awesome! Isn’t a calm, rational fellow just the perfect foil for a fiesty gal.
    At least, that’s what I find to be so.
    Chin up Joe, kharmically speaking your due for a lottery win soon.

  57. I sent this URL along to two other people, both having horrible weeks. One of them has decided to adopt “Oh, COME ON” as his catch phrase. Shared agony, and all.
    Thanks for the beautiful writing. You’re a gem.

  58. No wonder you’re willing to knit gray socks for him.
    Here’s to hoping this coming week is a much much better one.

  59. I’d like my grandson to be like Joe when he grows up – he’s only 4 now so I guess there’s time to train him. Seriously – don’t you think the world would be a much better place if we could produce a “Joe serum” to give to all males at birth (and maybe a female version too for those of us who would never stop at “O come on”)? Imagine that combined with the forces of knitters everywhere! All The Blog’s best wishes to Joe for much better times ahead and some great beer right now while he’s waiting. And please do keep an eye on him, the other commenters are correct in saying injuries can show up later.
    PS – good luck with IT – we’ll all rooting for you!

  60. At least he didn’t get rear-ended by the 18 year old in her dad’s car. That’s when you just crawl into a hole!

  61. Wow. Talk about restraint. I’d have cried probably after getting hit and totaled. I am impressed. But perhaps he deserves a day off…

  62. Ever think the universe is trying to give you post/book fodder?
    I couldn’t help but laugh when you said how the garage “offered” to fix the mismatched paint job. Like they’re doing you a favor…

  63. Joe wins, he has the worst week ever story to tell, I thought we had won with the epic tale of “Going to California for Christmas 2002”, which takes hours to tell, but poor Joe wins. It’s so silly to say it’s all for the best. Tell him I have yet another truck in my barn he is welcome to……

  64. …..dude….. unbelievable… not at what he said but this whole truck/dad’s car ordeal… I love Joe. (actually, he reminds me of my dad and he was one cool dude…) Here’s to things getting better for him!

  65. Poor Joe. I, too, totaled my parents car, just before turning forty, while we were all on vaction 8 hours from home. My wonderful parents gave me a hug, said no one was hurt and that was what insurance was for. Three weeks later, when Mom and I were going somewhere, she handed me the keys to the replacement car (I mean Totaled) and told me to drive! Who could ask for better parents!

  66. Personally, I think I might have run fresh out of things to say by the time I got to that last accident. Not because I’m anywhere near as calm as Joe, just that eventually, “Oh, come on!” really is the appropriate phrase. That or hysterical laughter…

  67. We have lots of sympathy for Joe: my Number Guy’s uncle had a car accident on the ice a few years ago. On the same day, his wife hit a deer.
    That evening, he called the insurance company to report his accident. When he was done, the insurance agent asked, “Can I help you with anything else today?”
    Imagine the agent’s surprise when NG’s uncle said, “Yes, let me put my wife on the line to tell you about the deer.”

  68. Now, some people would say, “I come to this blog because it has to do with KNITTING, and this has nothing whatever to do with KNITTING.” Not so. Having your significant other be a serene, understanding, low-key member of your household is an absolutely essential accessory for a knitter. At least as important as stitch markers or lace blocking wires. Well, maybe not stitch markers . . . .

  69. Joe is an angel. Actually, he is just smart. He knows he’s not driving (we being metaphorical here) and that he might as well enjoy life as if flows past him. Stephanie, I am so glad he is yours – you deserve someone this wondrous.
    P.S. Lucky that car painter isn’t a surgeon – he’d take the wrong limb off or reattach it in the wrong place.

  70. Sounds like my dear husband, who after putting his foot through the ceiling of our kitchen, mustered up the terrible phrase, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!”

  71. Well, the important thing is that Joe had no injuries in the 2 accidents. Identity theft is a pain, but hopefully he caught it early before more damage could be done. Seems like things happen in threes, so he’s had his three “things” and can now move on.

  72. Hhmmm, brakes don’t work – go in for repair and he is rear-ended after so-called repairs? Call me a cynic but did those repair people make sure his brake lights were wired correctly before poor Joe drove away?
    He’s a saint, btw. If it were me, I would go back to bed for the rest of the week and pull the covers over my head.

  73. Wow! I am so incredibly impressed. In fact, so much that I am now going to send my husband the link to this posting. Perhaps he will find inspiration in it (or it’s more like, “perhaps he will talk me into being more like Joe” ;).
    I’m glad to hear that everything is better now. I hope the truck gets fixed and/or replaced without too much hassle. You so don’t deserve anything else bad to happen! Insanity!
    Hugs to you all!

  74. Oh wow. I can’t even do that when the gurlz do something wrong. If Joe wants to bash something to aid in relieving the stress, he could come to my (plaster) wall wrecking party.
    Good for him though.
    Does the insurance company believe the story too?
    Thank you for the fabulous telling.

  75. The first month that I had my new car, a driver rear-ended me, then a deer jumped in front of my car on the freeway and I hit it, then a teen-ager rear ended me with her father’s car. The collision center people were giving me funny looks by the third accident. The point is, by the last accident, you are so numb, and so aware that you are not in control of the universe, that saying “oh, come on!” is a prayer for release. Swear words just won’t do the job.

  76. That man is a keeper for SURE.
    The upside to all this is that he’s used up about 10 years worth of bad luck so he should be good for a while. I think he should start buying lottery tickets!

  77. Gee, that’s a great man. I’m glad you two have each other – what a pair! Also, maybe some looooong mineral soak hot baths and a bit of chiropractic; that’s a bit of bumping around for a body!

  78. It’s because he’s Canadian! Bless you northerners for your extremely cautious use of vulgarity.
    Well, as an optimist, I can only believe it will get better for him from here. My sympathies!

  79. Holy jumpin grasshopers !!!! Joe hit the bottom of the ladder and now there is no way to go but up. It’s the ying and yang of life and poor Joe has had enough already.

  80. It must be a Canadian thing. Truly. You guys are just more laid back than Americans.
    As I was reading, I was imagining what I would do in his place. I’ll spare you the whole narrative, but the last part would read, “…before turning the gun on myself.”

  81. That guy really deserves a GANSEY for Christmas! Not to mention a new truck, though I’ve heard those are hard to knit. I agree with Sandy at 4:27’s comment re the phrase “WWJD.” I’m glad no one is hurt, the coffers have been re-stocked, and that you have each other. Really, life’s not so bad when you think about it. The rest is just inconvenience.

  82. I don’t know about you, but that’s why I married my saint of a husband. I figured one of us had to stay calm in order for the marriage to work– it’s been 24 years now and his patience has been tried a time or two πŸ™‚ Also, I second the gansey idea…or a nice dinner…or both. I hope he’s okay after those accidents, that can make you pretty sore for a while.

  83. This is that Newfoundland thing again isn’t it.
    Bless his heart. That is a sucky week to beat all sucky weeks.
    Well, now he has a bunch of knitters wishing good things for him and he should know that we all have a little bit of magic. It will be good from here on out.
    Although I’m not sure anything we do will save this truck.

  84. Did you get the series “Arrested Development” in Canada? There is a character on that show (Gob) who does the perfect “Oh come on” for this situation. I’ll see if I can find a YouTube clip to send to you.
    Poor Joe!!

  85. I want to be Joe when I grow up! I suppose that at that moment, all you can do is laugh, or cry…and crying seldom gets things done…

  86. I’m with Patti and her first comment, “Can we get him cloned??. The world needs more Joes. I’m glad he hasn’t been hurt in the accidents. Give him a big hug from all of us.

  87. Okay, now you do know that you have a keeper, right? Cause that is just amazing. My husbands work truck was smashed up in an accident, he got a rental that was smaller, and was dealing with it’s size difference, when he went out to get something from it and found it gone! yeppers! swipped with a few thou in coffee and related products, 5K in customer checks, tools, coffee machine parts, hand truck and assorted other needed items. My husband on the other hand was not as cool as Joe, not by a long shot, but not as bad as I think I would have been… Yep, your Joe’s a keeper!

  88. I will never complain about having a bad day again! The bright side for Joe is that surely good karma is headed his way.

  89. Oh, the poor guy!! Wow. I would have lost it waaaay earlier and would have lost it on a far more magnificent level than he. I am so impressed!
    I will muster any extra good luck/karma that I can find and try to send it to him. His luck WILL turn around! There’s just no way he can be expected to deal w/ any more crap than this.

  90. ALl I can say is WOW!
    My best friend, who is the kindest most thoughtful person I have ever known, recently had her house broken into (and she walked in on the two dudes with her 3- and 1-year old – thankfully the dudes ran and did not turn violent) and then a week later at a church retreat had her wallet stolen.
    The worst things happen to the best people. I think how those people handle the worst says volumes about their character, more than most other times in life, and all I say is that Joe nust be a tremendous guy.
    Hopefully December will be a better month!

  91. Steph, When the going gets tough, I count my “4 reasons to be grateful”. 1)access to shelter
    2)access to indoor plumbing 3)access to food 4)lack of anyone shooting at me. Alot of people in this world can’t count to 4.

  92. Poor Joe! He wasn’t hurt. That’s all that matters! Vehicles can be replaced…he can’t. That said, perhaps he should buy a lottery ticket – his luck has got to change!

  93. Joe is awesome. I second all the votes for a new truck (or good repairs to the one he loves), a few beers, and lots of hugs. Isn’t it nice to know you picked a good one? Here’s hoping life improves and karma gets good stuff back to him for the holidays.

  94. I comiserate. A few years ago, I totalled my mother’s car (and landed myself in the hospital for a bit), and exactly 8 days later, got hit by a drunk driver in my brand spanking new car. I can tell you, I had some choice words that **did not** include “O come on!”

  95. I’ll think of Joe the next time I’m having a bad day/week. What a smashing good temperament he must have to endure it all without giving in to the mother of all meltdowns. There’s a lesson here. πŸ™‚

  96. I’m pretty sure that’s the clearest proof we’ve ever had that Joe’s from Newfoundland. People of great verbal economy, they are.

  97. What are the odds?! I not only wish my husband had Joe’s patience, but I wish I had it as well! Now the fact that my son won’t clean his room doesn’t stress me out nearly as badly! Hope Joe’s got the best Christmas ever ahead of him!

  98. Oh man! That was the funniest blog entry in life! I’m at work, reading your blog as usual, and I literally laughed out loud. My boss thinks I’m crazy now. Thanks!
    Love ya!

  99. Even though he doesn’t have any wheels, Joe definitely has the makings of a great bumper sticker. “Oh, COME ON” could be the next “If you can read this you’re driving too closely.” I’d consider a trademark.

  100. I do believe the universe is attempting to tell Joe to “ditch the truck”….yo Joe, listen up!
    What a great guy. Glad he ain’t hurt.

  101. I agree 110% with Diane …and he sounds like an amazing person
    “Truly, the man is a bodhisattva among us…
    Posted by: diane ”

  102. Steph – what a good job of writing this story. But I HOWLED at one of the comments: Note to Self: Don’t ride with Joe. Bless both of you.

  103. Can you imagine what The Blog would sound like on a daily basis if Joe were writing it?
    Monday: Worked on Kauni. A lot. Didn’t get far.
    Tuesday: Spun grey wool. Don’t think there’s enough.
    Wednesday: Couldn’t find tape measure. Used ruler instead.
    Thursday: Washed more of grey fleece. Will dry it inside.
    Friday: Had car trouble.

  104. I think November 26 should be declared St. Joe of the Blue Truck Day, where everyone drinks beer and knits, and if they drop a stitch they must look heavenward and intone “Oh, Come ON.” Our uniform will be a grey gansey with a squirrel pin.

  105. So. . . when is Joe going to be in MY town giving seminars on how to act like a decent human being? I’ve gotta get tickets to that!! You’ve got a keeper, woman!
    :O)

  106. Oh my goodness. Joe, I am SO sorry! (And, I am going to have to read this to my husband, who, after having his new bicycle stolen this summer, finally replaced it, only to have it fly off his roof rack last night on the freeway — it’s totally destroyed; everyone’s all right, though. He didn’t do quite as well as Joe, but he didn’t do too badly!) Should we all contribute to the Buy Joe A Pint Because He Really Really Deserves It fund? He’s a keeper πŸ™‚

  107. OH MY!
    What a truly horrible time! I am so sorry for all the trouble he has endured. I must say thought, that your way with words made the whole story comical and made me laugh until I cried. What a great guy! Better karma his way!

  108. It is time for Joe to get some really good knitting karma come his way. Doesn’t knit? In his case, I don’t think that matters. He is already surrounded by so much knitting stuff, that knitting karma should apply to him also. Hey Steph? Maybe you could give the room back to him (briefly)? You know – the one you worked so hard to reclaim from the electronics stuff that is Joe’s.

  109. I am so glad he is ok after such a horrible week. Let him know that he is in my prayers. I like to think that horrible things happen to make us realize how great we have it the rest of the time! And I am glad he is so amazingly good natured about it all!

  110. Mine would have had a much more earburningly colourful reaction but is a keeper none the less, when I got into an accident with the ’71 Valiant that used to belong to his grandpa & called to tell him, all he said was “Are you OK?”
    Hope Joe doesn’t have too much more excitement, he deserves a calm December & 2008 after a week like that.

  111. My reaction to his reaction is too blue to print here! If I were local, I would definitely buy that dear man a beer–or five.

  112. Wow.
    Joe is amazing. The filth that was running through my head just reading about his week would peel paint.
    May his run of bad luck be over, and may he reap the karmic reward of triple the volume of good luck to follow.

  113. Surely Joe must be due for some really, really good mojo to come his way, as reward for restraint if nothing else. I would have been cussing enough to make a sailor blush! I will keep his misfortune in mind for the next few weeks and try to count my blessings…

  114. You know, while I think Joe totally deserves a gansey, I think this might a bad week to give him one. With the luck he’s having, something bad might happen to it. Better wait till things around him don’t spontaneously self-destruct. But his luck should turn by the time you finish it, I’d think. Maybe he should just sit quietly and not touch anything for a while just to be on the safe side?

  115. O.M.G. Thank God AND the goddesses that he is fine after all of that! He wins the “soul of patience” in my book! I get way more excited than that every time I drive—WITH the swearing, I might add! The identity theft thing alone would have made me homicidal. At least he knows he’s had his run of bad luck for quite a while—glad he’s okay. πŸ™‚

  116. Oh, dear Joe! I thought I had the only spouse in the world who never curses–ever! What an awful week. This story should find its way into somebody’s stand-up comedy routine! Well, it did find its way into The Blog–thanks, and commiserations!

  117. That’s one great guy you have there. He deserves some seriously good luck now, and I hope he gets it.

  118. Well, it’s a good thing he doesn’t need a favorite curse word for his Ravelry profile. Speaking as one who was driving her father’s car when it was rear ended and totaled this past spring, I’m in complete sympathy. But I did swear. A lot.

  119. Joe sounds like my dad–nothing much rattles him, and I’ve never in all my life heard him swear. He can get mad, but remains calm. When my parents were on their honeymoon, they were driving through Haliburton (l950, huge car with huge hood, no seat belts of course). My mother was driving, and she totalled the car. She got too close to the centre line, and someone coming over a hill was too close on their side. The two cars scraped together, a wheel came off my parents’ car and rolled away somewhere into the Haliburton Highlands, and the car swerved off the road and smashed into a massive rock. My totally panicked mother looked for my father–he had disappeared down under the dashboard, and he had a big gash on his forehead, blood pouring down. He still has the scar.So that is how my parents’ marriage started. To this day, my dad calmly says, “Our marriage started out on the rocks.”

  120. OMG. I think that’s one of the worst days imaginable…I would have absolutely lost my last nerve and probably freaked out on the unfortunate soul who decided to hit me lol.

  121. Dear freakin’ lord, Joe is some kind of zen saint. Seriously, had that happened to me, I’d still be drinking and crying. I truly hope that all of the bad luck got piled into one big clump to balance out the good coming his way. Poor guy. Send him a hug for me, would you?

  122. Now if only more people were like Joe–myself included! There would have been a LOT of profanity coming from me after a day like that.

  123. NOW I know what the acronym WWJD really stands for! The next time my patience is tried beyond reasonable limits I will ask myself, “What would Joe do?” Lovely man.

  124. Please give Joe my dearest compliments, a great big hug and suggest giving him part of the dining room table back. You sure do have a keeper there.
    What a week. I am assuming that this bad week started last week. Have you checked his natal chart? Where is mercury? I’ll bet it is retrograde and squaring something big in his chart.
    Namaste,

  125. don’t you just want to wrap him up in some quiltt batting and not let him drive a car? We have had a similar couple of weeks with slightly different events. So far my man is optimistic, he is the cheerful one, not me.

  126. Poor Joe! I would have gone ballistic way before that. Knit that man a voodoo doll. Or perhaps a large glass of something alcoholic. He sounds like he needs it.

  127. It must be a Newfie thing.
    Now, normally I don’t make such blatent statements about groups of people (judge not, yadda yadda yadda), but I’ve met a fair number of the mighty Newfs, and they all had the following traits in common: optimistic yet easygoing personalities, the ability to find the fun in any situation, a lighthearted approach to the heavy stuff, and the ability to turn a phrase that turns the heads of the non-Newfs. Lovely people, the lot of them! (At least, all of those I know personally – which is a pretty large number, given that I used to live in Fort McMurray – you know, Newfie West).
    Maybe reward the man with the Newfie trifecta – a carb-heavy meal, a beer, and a little of the nudge-nudge-wink-wink after the girls go to bed.

  128. I know that you will likely not read this, since it’s practically the 200th comment. But I read this and had to read it out loud to my Mike. And before I even got to the end he exclaimed, just like Joe, “Oh, come on.” I think Joe and Mike would get along, although they might just sit in silence for hours being okay with everything.

  129. I’ve had sort of a “Joe’s day” year, and reading these comments has me thinking “dear god, there are people out there who are ‘my people'”! Parts I love: the word suckfestian; that other women swear heartily; WWJD; 4 reasons to be grateful; the acknowledgement that some situations are beyond profanity; and more… Thank you for all this wonderful philosophy, even if it is somewhat at Joe’s expense. I’ll definitely be adding ohcomeon to my vocabulary. I find as I get older, and swear-worthy situations accumulate in my experience, my subconscious dredges up more and more creative epithets–usually for all those stupid drivers, as a matter of fact. My grown daughter thinks I have a talent for creative unprintable names for gormless f**kwits. Well, it amuses me. Thanks for the story and the community of people you attract, Stephanie.

  130. Surely by now you’ve added gansey to the Christmas knitting list, right?
    Thanks for the reminder that there is some humor in a really bad week.

  131. does he give lessons?
    [no, not in the accidents or identity theft.. ::shudder:: but the zen? or is it a newfie (?) thing in which case i’m terribly screwed and would be locked up tight if that were my week…]

  132. Will add this story to the list of reasons why we all love Joe. Personally, I never got over the fact that he wouldn’t let you rip out the socks he is (I imagine still) knitting for you. Sending good vibes Joe’s way–no-one deserves a week like that. I’m pretty sure it’s someone else’s turn now.

  133. Oh. My. Lord. Joe gets to lie quietly in a dark room for as long as he wishes, or at least until the world is working again. Give Joe a big hug from me!

  134. when I realized that “Son of a” just wasn’t doing it for me.. I switched my phrase to “Oh, Come ON!”.. especially at school where foul language is frowned upon.
    Joe’s a man after my own heart… I think he needs a beer from the blog.

  135. I believe every successful marriage has one calm partner and one screamer. Now we know which one Joe is(n’t).

  136. His three accidents are behind him and I hope that’s it – no one should have 3 identity thefts ever – so hopefully, it’s over. God Bless !!!!!!

  137. my husband throws a tantrum which would put Jack Nicholson to shame. he also has a truck, sitting in the driveway (insurance paid up) with a dead battery, door hanging by the thread of a rivet, in need of a new master brake cylinder, truck bed full of old furniture waiting to be hauled to the dump – what can one do except knit, knit, knit. maybe your next book should be truck stories in betwixt the knitting. (hey, the last time i took the truck to the dump the back gate came off and i landed in the dump with the gate on top of me.)

  138. Poor Joe! That is surely a week of trials and tribulations. I can only hope that, having moved well past the ‘rule of threes’ and into a new, unpleasant, and higher numerical rule of Bad Things, that his luck turns around. May he get whatever the Joe equivalent of yarn and cupcakes may be!

  139. I too was the victim of identity theft this weekend! Imagine my surprise in a town north of Timmins Ontario, being stuck with no cash and no access to a branch of my bank of choice! My sympathies to Joe. I used much more colourful words, in two different languages.

  140. Hugs to you both and the girls, too. Maybe Joe has found the “new” profanity – something totally different from the *&^%$#@#$%^&* that is alllll too common now a days! Please, ALL of you take care. You are the only ones of you that we have! And we care. (Large smiley face here)

  141. Any of you all seen Little Miss Sunshine? When the tormented son finally breaks through and begins screaming about his bad luck? Yeah, that’s what I would have been screaming at that point, if I were Joe.

  142. Oh, how much do we love Joe! God bless ‘im. I second and third (or, maybe we’re up to fourths) the recommendations for hugs and beer, a gansey, and winning the lottery.
    PS – I have to say that I am stunned by the macro photos of the snowflakes. Teeny pieces of magic. I am praying for snow in the mountains, so that I can try out my camera.

  143. Oh my, how lucky you are! Someone broke off the Mercedes Benz emblem from my husband’s car. I almost had to sedate him in the driveway.

  144. Please make sure that Joe gets hugs, beers (or Screech).
    We have also had our share of “interesting” vehicles over the years. One of the more memorable cars was 7 different colors (eventually I painted it all one color); another was a truck so battered that people would use it as a standard. For example, what do you mean by saying my truck is beat up? Wait til you see Diane’s!”

  145. Poor Joe. That is a tough week.
    Reminds me of my tough week. First, I should mention it was exam week. I had my wisdom teeth removed the Monday of the week. My parents went on vacation and left me with their van in exchange for my car. The van, costing much more than my car, was broken into and everything inside was stolen. The thieves tried to hotwire the van, but killed the battery and electrical components instead. So it had to be towed. The next day, I had an exam so I rode my bike to school. On the way, I was run over by a woman (in an SUV. Mentioned because I assume they hurt more) who ran a red light. On Friday, I had surgery. Sunday I was back home. The worst week I have ever experienced, I’m sure.
    So, you can tell Joe that I understand. Of course, I didn’t say “Oh, come on” when I was lying under the SUV. I’m not nearly so polite…

  146. Wow, that looks like some major planetary shit magnet action going on! Does he know anyone about to have brain surgery?

  147. I’m glad everyone (except the truck) is okay. To have that kind of week and make it out slightly rattled but uninjured is a blessing.

  148. I think you have a keeper there? How were you during all these going ons?
    THanks for the story, it was a great pick me up at the end of a ho-hum day.

  149. Poor Joe!!! I think I understand his seemingly abnormally mild reaction to the last accident – being rear ended. When so many bad things happen in such a short time, you go numb – you become almost unable to react in a normal way. The only possible reaction is oh come on. (oh come on – this is beyond belief that all this could possibly happen to one person in such a short period of time – an expression of the very deepest exasperation known to man.)

  150. Your man needs some kind of good luck charm when driving! That is honestly the unluckiest day ever. Hope he’s feeling better now!

  151. No one should have to go through a week with that much bad stuff in it while living a normal, fairly unreproachable life. Give Joe my best wishes for a much better week this week.
    And remember this period and how well he handled it the next time you want to strangle his large phlegmatic Newfoundland neck.

  152. Wow. Whatta guy! Reminds me of my mom and aunt — when they were rather elderly, my aunt dropped a needle into a shag rug and uttered the worst thing I ever heard her say….”a plague on it!”….and then my mom said the worst thing she ever said…”yeah!”

  153. Oh my. (((gentle))) hugs to Wonderful Joe, who probably will be very sore when he stands still and this week catches up to him.
    And I am still snorting at Presbytera’s comment. The blog as written by Joe.
    “Day 300, still no Gansey yet. Day 301, No Gansey today. Day 302…..”

  154. I love your guy for that, too. Actually, my Brian might have said the same, he doesn’t get too riled up. Isn’t it refreshing that a few human beings in the world can be balanced in the face of such things?
    Me, I can be stressed out about nothing. I mean, I wish it were not true but I admit it. I can do “frequent flyer miles” bouncing off walls and ceilings if something doesn’t go as expected… and Brian just waits for me to land. he knows he can’t fix me but he doesn’t tell me what I already know… that bouncing isn’t solving anything. I gotta bounce sometimes, you know? I was born that way.
    I’m so bummed for Joe that things are on the wrong sort of roll. “This, too, shall pass…” as they say. Nothing can stick forever. And thank goodness for that!

  155. Oh lord, he sounds a bit like my husband. He doesn’t have an indecent bone in his body either. But I wonder if Joe isn’t even more patient and mellow.
    POor Joe. What an ordeal. Any one of those things would be enough to make anyone snap.

  156. Poor guy! Tell him a little Ben and Jerry’s fixes all. It does really, I swear! OK, it helps.
    I also rather liked the suggestion that he be cloned. Just think, if all the nations leaders were Joes, the world would have to be a better place.

  157. What a nice guy. Let him know we all feel deep compassion for what he has been through. And tell him to check before he opens his truck door, because the next thing that could happen is someone will drive through it and knock it off. Been there, had it done to me.

  158. Dang. I mean…DANG. πŸ™‚
    My friend Craig broke 3 cars in a week not so long ago: his, the one he bought to replace that one, and his wife’s. None of these incidents were his fault. And Craig is also one of those amazing sunny people who, when gifted with hand knits, immediately tries them on with his guitar so he can see how he looks while wearing said hand-knit and playing the guitar. (He also did that with his wedding ring. Can you stand the cuteness?) I’m sensing a trend here.
    So…can we start a waiting list for the clones? Because I’d really like to be on it.

  159. Oh. Man. Poor Joe! ::sends hugs. and beer. and a chiropractor. and a massage therapist. and a big ol’ hot tub. and some more hugs, Screech, chocolate and Blue Moon for you, ’cause surely you’re somewhat shaken after your dear man going through all this.::
    Yep, thank goddess he’s not hurt, but great googly moogly, enough already! Like Josiane at 11:47, I wondered if he knew anyone going through brain surgery! (And Presbytera? Hysterical. Totally.) I too would’ve been swearing a blue streak, probably on top of popping Xanax. [g] If The Blog could knit him a new beater of a truck, we would. He certainly deserves to be *given* one, if there’s any karmic justice in the world.
    OK, so now I’m thinking of umpteen knitters who know of beat-up trucks that still run, trying to figure if theirs could make it to Canada… πŸ˜‰

  160. I’ll never forget seeing the rafting pictures you posted. There were pics of the rapids, pics of you swamping out, and at the end a truly wonderful shot of Joe, sun on his face, and wind in his hair. I could just tell what a great guy he is. My husband is a really great guy too, and yes, the term doesn’t begin to say it all.

  161. Joe’s final remark reminded me of an incident with my mother. She was driving with 3 children and her mother-in-law in the car when she turned the wrong way onto a wide boulevard with four lanes of oncoming traffer. Her off-color comment: “Oh, beans!”

  162. Poor Joe! Man, it’s tough when a person gets tested like that. Sounds like he’s going to get a new truck! Man I’ve had months and months like that and sometimes you just got to wonder what you did to get so much crap added to your plate, or if you’ve wandered into the twilight zone LOL! Joe sounds like a man with a remarkable amount of grace and he definitely sounds like a keeper. I hope this week gets better!

  163. Poor Joe! Time for you to wrap him in roving and keep him safe for a while.
    I hope he doesn’t have any after effects from being rear-ended.
    – Pam

  164. Bless. I can say no more. The man is a saint. The Powers-That-Be I’m sure have a new pick-up just waiting for him. And a great band looking for a producer. And *ahem* a new gansey. πŸ˜€

  165. Can you clone him? I want a “Joe” for me! No, really, he seems to be great, by this time I would have totally flipped… what a fabulous guy!

  166. My goodness. I’m glad no one was hurt in the making of this tale. At least, not in a physical way. I have tears coming out of my eyes, I’m laughing so hard.
    His cosmic see-saw has totally shifted. 2008 ought to be a corker!

  167. I don’t want to be rude, but, I can sort of imagine his MILD reactions. After all, he had gone through all kind of crazy acts from you, and still decided to get marry. Lucky you! It’s so nice to know that when the world spins out of its orbit, there will be a steady shoulder to lean on.

  168. Joe, you should be awarded sainthood! such patience.
    After reading this post to my husband, who is a mechanic, dearest husband says to get rid of the truck ( bad Karma)
    I am delighted that Joe is not hurt, and that no one else was injured. Vehicles are easy to fix, people..well.. not so much.
    Carolyn

  169. Man oh man, that is a really unfair string of bad luck. Congratulations to Joe for handling it so elegantly. What a great guy you have, and I’m very happy to hear that he wasn’t physically or spiritually injured by all of the bad stuff.

  170. My first thought was the same as everyone elses regarding the cloning possibilities. Barring that, does he have any single brothers? I would be willing to move to Canada for someone of that demeanor.

  171. Wow! What a guy! Joe definitely deserves another piece of large, black stereo equipment to sit and take up space in your dining room!
    Poor Joe.

  172. That is a fantastic reaction on his part. A few years ago, the summer before we were married, my husband had a similar run of bad luck. His reaction was not so … family friendly. May his Karmic reward be big and juicy! πŸ˜€

  173. Wow! I thought MY two weeks had been bad (they included a broken furnace and getting rear-ended, etc), but this makes my tale of woe pale in comparison. Thanks for the perspective exercise. And give Joe a hug for me. He’s taking all this better than either me or my husband would.

  174. After that list of travails, I’m thrilled to hear that Joe is fine, although somewhat battered in spirit. And really, when the Universe spanks you that hard “Oh, COME ON” sounds like a pretty appropriate response to me.

  175. To commiserate with Joe- someone bought an underground swimming pool 6 states away from us this summer with our identity while we were at my father-in-law’s funeral. We also drive a 15 year old truck like Joe’s- we look behind us when we drive over railroad tracks to make sure we didn’t litter!

  176. Your Joe is a good man. I hate when crappy things happen to good people. I had one day full of all kinds of crappy stuff — it got scary. I hope Joe’s days start getting better, like winning a lottery to buy a new truck for him and a new car for his dad.

  177. For years, my husband has thought that “GEE!” is a terrible swearword.
    He, uh, got over that misconception and now says the f-word like the rest of us, save Joe and a small child who shall remain nameless but has informed me that she is way nicer than me in traffic.
    Joe, I honestly don’t know how you do it. Good on you, man, for getting through all that palaver and not smacking the living crap out of anyone.

  178. I have long maintained that Joe is my favorite fictional character — this does nothing to change that. Still, you’re the one who affirms a faith that the universe seeks balance, so watch out the front window — any minute now the Ferrari of all pickup trucks should be pulling up with the title to Joe in the glovebox and the identity thief roped across the hood like a ten-point buck.
    (Spotty internet access when I’m at school — sorry to be late to the party.)

  179. I love Joe too! He went through all that and he didn’t ONCE blame you. His actions speak to his loyalty and fidelity, and when that truck so obviously betrayed his affection, the most he could say was ‘oh come on’?
    I dated a guy that got pulled over for speeding. After the officer walked away, he looked at me with fire in his eyes and said, “I wouldn’t have been speeding if you hadn’t had the radio turned up so loud.” What the … !
    Joe didn’t do that, bless his great big heart! For that, and all the insults and miseries he has suffered, he deserves a new truck – mostly because that dead horse of a truck deserves a nice burial.

  180. Talk about even-tempered! He’s either incredibly admirable, or totally removed from reality. Either way, it’s good. Reality is highly overrated.

  181. Yikes. My whole life seems much less burdened with the small stuff after reading Joe’s troubles.
    The identity theft is really the worst part–keep an eye on your stuff, the identity might be sold again and can keep annoying the hell out of you.
    Can the truck be saved?

  182. Um… can somebody get Joe’s guardian angel a crash helmet? And while we’re at it, maybe one for Joe. And a large roll of bubble wrap.
    Thank heavens he wasn’t hurt.

  183. First of all, I’m happy he’s fine. He could have been hurt from any of those things.
    That being said, OMG ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!! I’ve had a similar experience with the car accidents, and while no identity theft was made, I did have my wallet stolen out of my purse protected by my 2 y/o dd. (I wasnt happy that my wallet was stolen, but i was more creeped out that such a person was so close to my dd. Where was I? I had my hand on her in the shopping cart and my wallet was less than a foot away.) So I get it. But I LOVE how he is taking it all in stride.
    Oh Come ON!

  184. See… this is the perfect example of why we love our men so very much.
    And a little message for Joe…. Seriously… You’ve faced this calmly so now you know you can handle just about anything.

  185. This is not-so-much unlike my own absurd string of vehicular woes last year, at the hands of others.
    My response was not as mild.
    Finish that gansey, woman. He deserves it.

  186. Been there. Not necesarily in those circumstances, but I’ve had my butt knicked by the universe on a fairly routine basis. It stinks.
    Though I think I’d have resorted to different filth than Joe. Just shows I have a lot to learn.
    And lord love a duck, please show more progress on the gansey — I think Joe needs it after this strign of luck

  187. Joe has patients, now my dh, not so much. Our 5 yo is still talking about the time “the lady hit Daddy’s car and do you want to know what Daddy said?” This happened when he was 3 and the words Daddy used are ones we can’t use at preschool, or around grammy, or well most anywhere but at home telling this really great story. πŸ˜‰

  188. Does that serene calmness ever infuriate you?? My husband (and Dad, so I must have unconsiously pick them this way) idea of extreme violence is to look over the top of the newspaper and say quietly to any situation”knock it off”. While I usually love the calm temperment sometimes a little more spunk would make for terrific fight and some making up(if you get my drift).
    I’m sure Joe’s bloodpressure is 90/60 all the time too-which is great. Wish mine was-and I have fallen off the “I’m not knitting for Christmas Deadline” as my daughter-in-law and son announced a new baby. So..now I am frantically knitting the Baby Bump sweater for her for Christmas-with a smile on my face as big as the Cheshire Cat.

  189. As much as I do wholeheartedly believe that Joe deserves a gansey, I’m betting a nice bottle of scotch would go over pretty damn well right now.

  190. what would life be without irony? My hubby was an identity theft victim. Want to know what he does for a living? He’s a computer security researcher.
    I hope Joe’s luck turns around…sounds like he’s due to find a winning lottery ticket on the sidewalk!

  191. I could only hope to say something that clean if I were in that situation. Glad he’s OK and even more glad that I don’t drive, so I can’t get into that situation.

  192. Hi Stephanie, Hi Joe,
    Sorry all this is happening to you. I’m sure you know it, but if good things don’t last forever, neither do bad ones.
    On the subject of Joe’s outburst, my goodness, I deal with someone (husband) who is the exact opposite of Joe. That can be very frustrating and tiring sometimes.
    Take care,
    Rosane.

  193. DH wants to know how much hippy hay you smoke before you sit down to write your blog entries. Then he said he didn’t want to meet you because you were a walking disaster area – and it rubs off on all those around you.
    That was while I was thinking that hopefully whoever rear-ended Joe was not a knitting blog reader (or related to one). Reparation for the ruined paint job might be harder to come by if the insurance company knows it needed to be redone anyway.
    Glad to hear nobody was hurt – but keep an eye out for slow-developing symptoms of brain injury (from whiplash, concussion, etc.)
    Take care – to you and yours,
    Janey

  194. My own Dad also having been a saint named Joe, I am heartbroken over this turn of events. Well, I hope poor Joe’s streak is finally over, I hate it when bad things happen to good people. All the best karma I can manage is winging your way, both of you!

  195. I am in awe of Joe. And of your writing. Once again you’ve fantastically relayed a tricky story.

  196. My heart goes out to Joe. What a rotten week. I admire the way he handled it all with composure though. The world needs more people like him.
    BTW – I think of you guys every time my boyfriend and I watch Dragon’s Den and keep my fingers crossed it gets renewed for another season.

  197. Ugh! What a drag. I’m glad no one was hurt in the accident, and I hope things are going better for Joe now. When it rains, it pours.

  198. Oh my! I am kind of late getting here but my thoughts are with you both. My DH would have totally ripped someone’s head off and then found a way to make it all my fault!
    As a nurse I second the advice to watch for hidden injuries. Just keep a close eye on him for a few days.

  199. Just tell him NOT to ask “what next?!”
    Seriously, I am so glad that no injuries came to Joe. Anyone of those accidents could have been more than just vehicle damage. ID theft? Wow! any clue how? That is so scary to me.
    I agree, a bottle of scotch and maybe a back rub.

  200. 1st – Kudos to Joe for surviving a most unusual week with grace and humor intact. There is something endearing about a man who loves his old truck that no one else can drive. If it is not repairable then here’s hoping that his next vehicle brings him many years of comfort, service, and joy.
    2nd – Kudos to Steph, who probably was more stressed that Joe about his week and managed to frame it in a manner that is a lesson to all of us. Hopefully you two will enjoy a few moments sitting with a cup (or mug) of something and just enjoy being together.
    3rd – Kudos to Joe’s dad, who hopefully won’t tease Joe too much about his car. Also to both parents for helping to raise a delightful human being.
    Wishing you all the best today and all the days to come.

  201. Ah Presbytera, I’d happily sit and list all the things, well, a selection of the things (don’t want to be a bandwitdth thief) that would be more immediately available to soothe Joe than the gansey, but a) the nice people who pay me the salary that pays the mortgage would object to my spending the rest of the week doing only that and b) Steph knows where I live.

  202. Oh wow. Joe, you handled this *so* much better than I would have. Sorry for laughing, and I am glad you weren’t hurt.

  203. Wow.
    I had something happen to me yesterday that counts a very tiny fraction of what your poor guy have been through. When telling a friend who has worked at sea for 20 years, his first response was “You swear like a fisherman”.
    Luckily my phrases are untranslatable to any English word I know..
    And I’m really, really glad none got injured in the accidents.

  204. Oh, I can see why you love him! Mine would’ve called out all the bad word stops just for the first accident. Glad Joe’s not hurt!!

  205. Joe sounds like a treasure beyond compare. Please include me in the list of those wanting a clone πŸ™‚

  206. So, Joe is clearly not a member of the Monkey Trucker group.
    I assume that you were worked up enough for the both of you, and the next door neighbor.

  207. I backed into another car today, but thanks to Joe’s good example I kept it in perspective. Thanks Joe!

  208. Deepest sympathy to Joe, and the hope that he will now get a run of astoundingly good luck.
    And Stephanie? I don’t wear shawls. I don’t wear pink. I’ve never knit lace or done beading. So why do I keep going back to stare at the the pic of that luscious yarn for the swallowtail shawl, with those awesomely eclectic beads? I’ve done it at least six times. Today.
    Reading your blog holds unsuspected dangers, I’ve got to say.

  209. That is possibly one of the best worst weeks I have ever heard of. The irony of it all astounds me. He handled it all so much better that I would have. Go Joe!

  210. Wow, having the universe dump on your head like that and just saying that.
    Kudos to Joe. Thanks for sending good karma back.

  211. I had my identity stolen today (for the third time, crooks have gotten my debit card number twice before), and I can attest to the fact that I swore a blue streak between that and some office drama that had the misfortune to go down on the same day.
    Joe is my new role model – I can’t imagine what would have come out of my mouth if I’d had the other stuff on top of the identity theft and the measly office drama.
    Also, I am now wondering if there is something in the stars about identity thefts this week…

  212. I’ll admit that I didn’t read all the comments, but am I the only one who thinks working on the man’s gansey would be the worst possible thing to do right now?
    Obviously the fact that it’s for him would cause something terrible to happen to it. Better to wait until his luck improves and THEN work on the gansey!

  213. I sooo fear the day that my Identity is Theived. Poor Joe! I think the world would be a better place filled with more souls like Joe. Well, a few gay ones with souls like Joe would be grand, too. Selfish I know but you can’t have all the luck, Mrs. P-M.

  214. Glad to see he’s doing fine, and in a ‘fine’ mettle. πŸ˜€ Best of luck to him.
    As he needs plenty of it now. πŸ˜‰

  215. I became a little teary-eyed while reading about the string of bad luck your wonderful husband has had. I had a similar experience with identity theft and it is nothing to sneeze at…throw in a couple of fender benders and I don’t think I’d have it in me to keep my cool as well as he did. I hope the universe is kinder to him!

  216. He is a stitch, isn’t he, your Joe?
    Almost makes it worth it when he takes over yet more space with random sound equipment…

  217. although i curse like a sailor most times, i think i can imagine being so exacerbated that i didn’t even have the motivation to curse!

  218. Oh my gauze!!! What an awful account. Bless him for his fortitude and attitude. Hope things get better.

  219. We can only hope that the guy who stole joe’s identity was sharing some cosmic karmic retribution that rivals this poor man’s week. Keep strong, Joe. And, if in crisis – I find the word ‘dadgummit’ to be immensely cathartic!

  220. For some reason the song ‘Some kind of wonderful’ comes to mind about Joe, he’s certainly that! Even my daughter (she’s 14) thinks he’s ‘awesome cool’. I hope he takes it easy for the next little bit, he deserves a break!

  221. Poor Joe! But what a guy! It’s people like him that hold this world together and account for the little glimpses of grace amongst the chaos.

  222. Wow.
    Get that man a foot massage, a beer, a lottery ticket, and a gansey.
    (return to lurk mode)

  223. You have the most fabulous “story-telling” abilities – guess that’s why you are a writer! πŸ™‚ I hope things start to look up for poor Joe! And I agree, he is a gentleman! πŸ™‚

  224. You did it once again. Sitting here laughing my head off, not because of Joe’s misfortune, but how you present it. Thanks, you made my day. :o)

  225. I find that my husband’s expletives are inversely proportional to the level of disaster. For example, stubbing his toe on a chair gets a LOUD and grumbly exclamation while a fire on the stove top deserves an exasperated sigh.

  226. I can commiserate with Joe. I’m really feeling like a sh*t magnet in my own life of late. You just feel like, dang, will it ever end?

  227. I hate swearing. That he doesn’t even under such circumstances is a very sexy quality in my book. It’s a rare thing, even among those who do not swear as a norm, to not go there under such adverse conditions.

  228. “the rear of the truck, while now rust free…had been painted a different colour than the front.”
    Uh, you said to paint it, you didn’t say what color….

  229. My cat used worse language than that when he wanted his breakfast this morning.
    Glad to know no one hurt in all that.

  230. Wow I can’t believe the bad luck…I was cussing for him while I was reading your post. I guess things can only go up from here right? Good luck Joe hope things go better this week!!!

  231. Please, tell Joe I completely understand the embarassment and the frustration of his week.
    My car needed engine repairs, and I was rear-ended at highway-speed while borrowing my Dad’s car. I was 35 at the time. The car was totaled and my poor father was pulled off the golf course to come get me at the hospital (and to top it off, under our US privacy laws, the hospital couldn’t tell him whether I was injured, so he had to drive two hours to find out I was mostly alright!). To this day, he jokes that when he needs a new car, he should give me the old one to drive. On top of it all, he lent me another car the next month, and that one also got rear-ended.
    I’ve also had my identity and my credit cards stolen, and it’s no fun. Mostly the people who do this get away with it, but we the victims are stuck with the bad credit reports for the rest of our lives. It’s my firm belief that anyone who does this should forced to hand over all the money they earn (legally) to their victims for the rest of their lives.

  232. I was sitting here reading the whole thing with my mouth hanging open…until I read what happened at the breaking point…
    …and my eyes welled up as I simultaneously chuckled at the adorableness. Mine is so laid back I swear he’d have to be in a coma to be more relaxed – but that is a level of mellow he has not yet achieved. You are one lucky yarn ho. And I hope Joe sees the other side of the bad days soon.

  233. Just when I long for a little bit more excitement in my life, I read about the trials and tribulations in yours and Joe’s and sink back in relief into my own less hectic existence! Plus, I laugh a whole lot(not at what you’re going through but how you describe it)! Keep your chin up, Joe!

  234. Wow. What I would have said is unrepeatable, and I would have grabbed the nearest sledgehammer.
    Most impressive.
    I admire his strength and calm. I envy it even. Although I have to say that knitting has done WONDERS for my anger and impatience management. πŸ™‚
    Cheers!

  235. I *completely* understand. I have spent the last four months trying to find a toilet seat to fit our 1953 *pink* Standard toilet. It’s a perfectly normal size. The problem is that it’s the strangest shade of pink. I’ve given up on finding it new and somehow am ok with the idea of a used toilet seat.
    i know that if i found it, I’d be shouting from the rooftops!

  236. Do you still have the pattern for the “basic scarf recipe”? I ran into another knitter and she said she made this scarf and it was beautiful

  237. I am so sorry to hear about your Joe’s misfortune!
    I am not one to usually write comments on a blog site but I had to let you know how much your blog makes me laugh. Sitting at home in sunny Melbourne Australia, I laughed soooo hard.
    This is something that would happen to me however I wouldn’t have been as graceful about it. That is some finish to the year, now it is all out of the way and you are ready to start a fresh!
    Good luck *

  238. Feeling tons of sympathy while simultaneously laughing so hard that the tears are running down my cheeks.
    I hope next week is better.

  239. Hi Steph.. oh my gosh he is a dream! missing you oodles cause i haven’t had enough internet time at thelibrary to read all of your lovely posts.. but i hope to catch up in the next 3 months.. working back in the legal secy industry.all the other stuff was a waste of time.. haha.. knitting my fingers to the bone on socks.. and loving it.. as well as some wrist warmers for some of the gals in here that are freezing great holiday gifts.. hugs and allthe best for the holidays.. hugs karola (you know that wacky one from NYC that moved to phoenix the day you were here and missed your visit.. darn)hee..hee..

  240. Steph oh my gosh i just realized about the first accident … but knowing that i drive my volvo like Joe drives his truck i totallyunderstand about duct tape and the little twisty ties.. many of my friends will concur.. hee..hee.. hugs again karola

  241. Thanks for a laugh, I needed it! Being a victim of identy theft recently myself I can sympathize!! What is truly scary is how efficient the banks have become at fixing it quicky!!

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