I am on fire with the schedule. Seriously ON FIRE. If this keeps up I will not suffer at all with the Christmas knitting. I am Blowing Through the schedule with an enthusiasm and dedication that is pleasing me to no end. I haven’t had this much fun since Steve and Kathy said I could come and live in the back room of Webs when I get old. (Don’t worry. I haven’t told them yet – and I sort of think it’s a moot point when we outnumber them this way…but I’m setting up the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters. We can all go. It will be lovely.)
Example of the way I am winning the Schedule War #1.
These are the socks that are job one on the schedule. According to Our Lady of the Extreme Organization, if I want to make this Christmas thing work, these need to be at the halfway point tomorrow around 6pm.
Look at that! Mwaha ha ha! That’s more than halfway now! Now…when it’s noon on Teusday….not 6pm on Wednesday! That puts me ahead on ITEM ONE. (For the record, Item one is The Embossed Leaves socks from Favorite Socks, 2.25mm needles, Lotus Yarns sock yarn in “Hydroponic”.)
Example of the way I am winning the Schedule War #2
This is a super-sneaky-secret project that shall not be named here (except to call it Item #2) nor shall yee who have a guess reveal it in the comments. Yeah verily, we shall not speak of what this might be or who it may be for…but I shall revel in the truth that this is scheduled to be at the halfway point Sunday at midnight and dudes….
It is there now. This is the biggest project on my list, and the fact that it is ahead of schedule makes me want to weep with joy.
Example of the way I am winning the Schedule War #3
Item #3 is a pair of Dashing (Yarn is unknown and antiquated stash, all I can guarantee is that it is 100% wool.) and Lene suggests in the document which rules my life that I would be happiest if I were to have the first one completed by 8pm tomorrow…..
and I’m ahead on that too. That’s a whole one, done like dinner.
Plus, before I even got to the schedule I finished these socks:
Which then didn’t go onto the schedule thus making the schedule something that was sort of possible for a human to do. (STR Rocktober, Feather and Fan socks from Socks, Socks, Socks – except I changed the heel and toe)
I hate to gloat, because I know that anything even vaguely resembling a smirk is a signal for the knitting fates to punch me in the metaphorical face, but really…doesn’t it seem to be going well? Every year when Lene embarks on the writing of the Christmas knitting schedule, she asks me how long I think things are going to take, and every year I tell her how long, and then I get screwed because I’m apparently unconnected with reality an eternal optimist. This year when Lene asked me how long it would take, I actually looked at how long it has taken in the past and applied that information. Do you see that? See what I did? I gleaned information from my previous experiences and and applied it in a way that will give me more success in the future. That my friends…that is the very definition of learning.
Seriously. My mother is going to be shocked. Neener neener.
You know that displaying the glorious ahead-of-scheudleness above ( awe inspiring as it is) is only going to have the knitting goddesses smiting you before Christmas….
You are making great progress and turning out some lovely things! Go Stephanie!
And, how did I get first post?
That green sock had me stunned at first: the moths got to the heel that fast? Oh. Right. Snow. I guess I *have* been living in California too long!
You just “neener neener-ed” your MOM. Now you’re just taunting fate.
Hmm…looks like hubris preceding a NightBeforeChristmas of franticness to me…
Of course, if you DO finish everything, you will not be sleeping out of sheer anxiety that You Didn’t Get Something On The Schedule After All!!
Good work and keep it up! (By the by, blistering your fingers is a Bad Thing.)
Well that’s just grand. I’ll just pack up MY christmas list & knitting projects, and send them on over to you to whip through, m’k? Thanks!
How far in advance do we have to sign up to get a spot at the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters?
Careful Steph, don’t anger the knitting gods…
p.s. (they are all beautiful, btw – specially the green socks)
Wow. I am in awe!
My Christmas knitting is making me feel elderly and confused. Actually, scrap that it isn’t the knitting it’s my day job. If I didn’t have to work I’d be fine!
Did you really just say neener neener?
If you finish your Christmas knitting early, would you like to give me a hand? I’m also going to ask Rick Mercer since I know you two are buds.
You CRACK. ME. UP. My holiday knitting schedule? I’m trying to knit one – that is ONE – pair of socks. I’m on target which means I’ll finish in time to wrap them and include them with other gifts in the car by….the 22nd of December. Yup, some serious speed knittin’ here! (Perhaps I can blame a slight slip in the schedule on last evening’s UNscheduled roof leak? I’m in the Seattle area. Perhaps you’ve heard of our excess of water experience lately? I enjoyed the melodic sounds of clomping roofing reindeer effecting an emergency repair last night, swaddling my chimney area (it came down the flashing) with tarp).
Ah…the holidays! 🙂
I am on #7 of 10 (or is it 11?)Fetchings that I want to gift this Christmas, and I too think I am way ahead of schedule. I do still need to finish the last two Christmas stockings for my remaining kids(I did the other 3 last year!), but so far, things progress apace. I think the vengeful knitting goddesses must be taking a nap, or something. Now that I see that you are ahead also, I might begin to get seriously worried. Will I run out of yarn? Will I catch pneumonia? Will my kids all catch pneumonia? I’ll just sit over here and continue to knit as quickly and quietly as I can, trying to blend into the background so they don’t notice me.
good for you! Maybe next year I’ll make a list. I am currently enjoying my state of denial (gives me more time for other things) and I think I work best under pressure, anyway. 🙂
Please do remember that this does not, I repeat DOES NOT, mean that you can add new projects to the queue. Remember that story about the tortoise and the hare?
Gorgeous socks, btw.
Do you think it’s possible to finish the last 1/2 of one sock AND start some fingerless gloves for the d.h. on a 1.5 hour flight to Atlanta????
I am going to try to absord some of your mighty mojo and get it done. As always you inspire me to higher goals.
(The green socks are AMAZING!)
Go Harlot go! That’s simply amazing! I’m in awe. This after my knitting was going so well, that I decided to tack on 2 more knitting projects. Yeah, because I certainly don’t have ENOUGH to do around here. Why am I such an idiot sometimes? Now, I have to wait until my sister can get over to my dad’s with a measuring tape to verify secretly the dimensions of the chair that I’m now going to be knitting a cushion for to match the rug that’s drying as we speak. Hope she hurries…
PS, love those socks. Both of them. Green is my favorite color, did I mention?
Oh man. You said “mwa, ha, ha, ha” and “neener neener” in the same post. That’s grounds for a smackdown from the knitting fates (and maybe your mother too). Eeep!
Christmas knitting? s$*t. I was supposed to do some of that…..
That last “neener neener” is going to come back and bite you on the arse, Dude.
Remind me to be far away when the lightning strikes.
This glee is unseemly and Will Be Punished.
Can I borrow Lene? I have a quilt to cut and sew, one more place mat to knit and then block 8 and then back with fabric, and then knit 5 Christmas sweaters, sew 3 skirts, and my kids still do not have knit Christmas stockings to hang by the chimney…
Congratulations on your great progress!!!
Did you just give the middle finger to the knitting fates?
My advice? Stock up on zinc and echinacea and stay away from adorable, but germ laden small humans. Or any humans, really.
Oh, and I’ll send over the several pair of felted clogs I’m planning.
A major knitting mishap can’t be far off…careful.
Yay, Stephanie! Keep up the great work. And above all, avoid temptation to add more to the schedule! I’m not going to guess what the secret project is, but I can’t wait to see the results after it’s given. Also, I would love an update on the family-project scarf. I think that’s such a great idea and I really hope some day I can do that with my family.
Wow! I might be first to congratulate you, Stephanie, on your stellar progress on Christmas knitting 2007. I knew you could do it. Now try to resist the impulse to add more projects that Lene hasn’t scheduled.
Careful. You’re advertising to everyone that you now have time to do the laundry and house chores….
Nice job! Thankfully I’m finished with my one and only knitted Christmas gift this year. I cut back tremendously this year since I have a horrific class this semester.
As for living in WEBS, I vote a huge YES! Sounds great. I live 30 minutes down the road in Springfield, and Northampton has like 500 great restaurants, so we never have to worry about going hungry. (Yes, this means WEBS is my LYS. Ha!) 😀
Amazing progress – but be careful lest the knitting gods smite thee!
Oh boy, you ARE doing wonderfully! I think I need to send you my list to finish as well. :o)
D’oh! You were doing so good until you got to the neener neener. You might have pushed the fates just a skootch too far.
Don’t you love the embossed leaves? I really enjoyed doing those. I also highly recommend the Quill Lace socks from Knitty. I was ridiculously entertained by that pattern.
I have to believe that the knitting goddess will defer to the scheduling goddess on this one. But that does mean that next year you may get a double whammy!
Gansey? Did someone mention gansey? Odd…I could have sworn someone said gansey. I can’t imagine why anyone would say “gansey” here, but there you are. Very odd indeed. Gansey, gansey, gansey. An unusual word, too. You don’t hear the word “gansey” much around these parts nowadays, nosireebob, do you now?
By the way, I’ve staked out Aisle 3 in WEBS’ warehouse already – mine, all mine!
Gansey. Very odd, eh? Do you suppose that I heard someone mention “gansey” because it’s Tuesday?
Maybe I have a bug in my ear.
Wow! You are just motoring along and doing a fine job. Might want to be careful with the “neener neener” stuff though, because although you showed great learning and foresight in actually reviewing past projects for time estimations, that might not be enough to offset the smackdown. Lene can only do so much to help your schedule, however I would bet that she worked in some *extra* time for problems, additions, etc. I will send as much good knitting mojo as I can spare (might not be much as I don’t have a Lene to run my life) while I decide just how much I can accomplish for people who will care about the work I put in.
Chris
PS – can we start signing up now for the Webs HAVCK, as there is sure to be a long waiting list? That sounds like heaven on earth!
Oooooh! I LOVE the idea of living in the back room at WEBS. Now that is sheer genius!
Um, I hate to burst your bubble, sweetheart, but.
It’s Tuesday.
>Do you see that? See what I did? I gleaned >information from my previous experiences and and >applied it in a way that will give me more success >in the future. That my friends…that is the very >definition of learning.
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again, expecting a different result (remember the sock yarn that came wound backwards?), then you seem to have conquered this sane business. But do you REALLY think the knitting goddesses will take kindly to “neener neener”?
Really, Stephanie, you were doing so well, too!!!!!
I want in on the Home for Elderly and Confused Knitters. I can untangle and wind stuff for the others. (Christmas knitting? None here. I know myself better than that.)
Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters. Take out “vaguely” and call it WHACK.
Neener, neener, indeed! You are making me laugh, remembering the last couple of Christmas knitting meltdowns. You and Lene are really rockin’ it this year.
“I actually looked at how long it has taken in the past and applied that information. Do you see that? See what I did? I gleaned information from my previous experiences and and applied it in a way that will give me more success in the future.”
Sorta like gauge, huh?
p.s. I’ve knit those leaf socks. Great pattern. Love the cuff.
P.S. Because I don’t want to be excluded from living in the back room at Webs when I am old and (more) gray due to my prior snarky comment . . .
The green socks are to die for.
I am just amazed, although like watching an I Love Lucy episode I’m waiting to see what tragedy this hubris will bring.
I do hope it’s nothing.
And I have a guess on item #2 I hope you’ll show us come Christmas.
P.S. I have had some success with speeding up my knitting by trying to copy your knitting style, thanks 🙂
So, I am very happy for you and how well things are going but I’m wondering if you would just mind LYING from now on… just a smidgen so I don’t have to turn on Hank Williams and put my head in the oven? I am still on my FIRST pair of socks–a simple ribbed man’s sock and for some reason, it’s just been a bear. You’d think I could knit it in my sleep, right? But I had to frog the heel flap THREE TIMES! Just a simple heel flap!
Clearly, the Knitting Gods are very angry with me. Very angry, indeed.
If lying is out of the question, could you send a little Karma this way?
Barb
Please oh please tell me you are storing that knitting in an Almighty Fire-Proof box. (One that is quick to open too, in case the knitting goddess decides to make them all spontaneously burst into flame INSIDE the box…
wow – you are tempting fate… you of all people should recognize the cruel fate of the knitting gods…. I can be ready with the chocolate and wine 3am on Christmas day if needed. wow. I am gob smacked.
You’ve just figured out why I time my knitting. 🙂 (Real data makes for better plans, and I like plans as much as Lene does.)
Now it’s important to not fall into that trap that I fall into every so often – just because you’re ahead of schedule does not mean you should add more projects to your list.
We shall all pray that you spoketh not too sooneth.
Now you’ve done it! You’ve gone and told the World that you’re Ahead of Schedule!
That leaves the World free to throw things at you!
Hey Harlot – You ROCK girlfriend.
Nevermind about the neener neener. Technicality says it takes THREE neeners to impact the knitting balance of the universe.
But, um. . . you do realize that finishing IT leaves no excuses to brow beat the other members of the harlot household in to doing all the OTHER Christmas prep work for you. Like, um. . cleaning (yech) and baking and gift wrapping. I guess you must have some writing deadlines coming up to cover those problems?
So it was you who stole my mojo (because I’m horribly behind — Hannukah starts tonight and I still have most of a sock and half of a scarf to knit!).
I also thought that something had eaten the heel of that green sock and the writing that followed would be a sad lament over the continued moth wars.. but its snow. Snow? I haven’t seen it in so long its hard to recognize. If I could just get correct sizes from my family members, I’d get their christmas knitting going.. I suspect I’ll have to trick my way into getting measurements from my brother.
Umm can you knit the rest of my boyfriend’s fingerless gloves w/mitten cap, and his scarf and hat? I swear his projects are making me not want to give holiday knit gifts ever.
And I would LOVE to live in a place like that. How many rooms would we need for everyone’s stash? Community stash could get ugly.
Hey, good for you! I hope there is no jinxing going on here. Hopefully all will continue to go well; it’s Christmas – isn’t this the magic time of ‘believe and it will happen’? Go with that train of thought! (PS – here in central NY we are being buried in snow. Good knitting weather – can’t go anywhere, so might as well knit! How is the weather there?)
Wow, Steph, I don’t know if you’re brave or stupid… tempting fate like that… talking about being ahead of schedule… wow…
You know that’s just tempting the knitting fates to do something like… make your roof fall in… or snow so much the kids are off school for 5 days in a row… both of which will seriously affect your AKT (available knitting time).
Good luck in any case.
You always make me laugh. Thanks, Stephanie
That is so cool, Stephanie! I’m excited for you.
Don’t you think, though, that since you’re doing so well that you should start a few extra things… I’ll bet you can get them done, too.
Ooh, sign me up for the Home for Elderly and Confused Knitters. I won’t take up too much space, you can just put me on a shelf with some nice Merino and I’ll be good.
I’ll be watching the news tonight for the “Unprecedented December Hurricane That Swept Completely Off Course and Destroyed a Lovely Old House in Toronto.”
God, I love it when people submit to my will. Wish it happened more often.
p.s. Maddy – cleaning, baking and wrapping are included in The Schedule. As is very occasional sitting and drooling breaks for the purposes of maintaining some semblance of mental health.
Okay, schedule aside…that is a serious amount of knitting. Way to go! Now…beware. Do not get all smarty-pants on your friends and family, and do not even think of adding anything to the list. Remember to listen to Lene and not knit anything that isn’t on the schedule until you are done with the list. Blinders might be a good tool for the next couple of weeks!
I’m very pleased for you and I can just feel your excitement and pride jumping off the page. However, I am a little scared for you. Maybe you should leave some fleece out for the squirrel (the one that ate the roof) just to balance things out.
OH, and um that secret project? The gray handspun looks AWEfully familiar. . . Joe’s not reading the blog these days, is he? Talk about raising expectations . . . and tempting fates
Save me a room at Webs?
You so Rock! The world is a better place for you inhabiting it. And Tracy and the photos…priceless 🙂
Harlot, are you on Meth?!? Seriously. Do we need an intervention here? How else could you possibly knit so FAST?!? Whew!
Way to go with the schedule! Just don’t add any more projects in your enthusiasm and you’ll have time to enjoy the holidays.
As much as we love watching you pull miracles out of your… hat at the last minute, congratulations on maybe not killing yourself this year!
This is my first Christmas as a knitter and I’ve got five people to knit for before the 24th and no idea what I’m doing. I’ll try to distract the knitting goddess a little so she doesn’t swat you. 😛
Way to go! (but don’t tempt the fates too much.)
now, is Lene available to schedule all of us?
HUMPH! I’d be on a good track with my knitting if knitting were MY job, too!
(And if I hadn’t stopped to make something for myself. And if I weren’t terrified of that first sock. And if I hadn’t decided round about US Thanksgiving to make my first socks ever for Christmas … half the country away, thus necessitating SHIPPING …)
Enviously yours,
v.
So uhm.. Can lene help me warp time so i can finish a scarf-which-wasn’t-supposed-to-be-holiday knitting before chanukkah starts tonight?
(at least i have 8 more days.. i’m 24″ in to a 60″ scarf. i can switch to garter right?)
good luck. don’t forget to be kind to your wrists as you work the schedule.
It all looks fantastic – but what are you going to do at 2 a.m Christmas Eve if all your gift knitting is finished?? 🙂
I’m Aged (63), I’m Vaguely Confused (okay, the vaguely may be an understatement on my part), and I’m a Knitter. Can I go to the Webs Home now? I’ve seen pictures of the Webs warehouse, and I could happily spend my remaining days wallowing in all those beautiful fibers! Besides, the Webs people are nice folks, too.
Congratulations on being ahead of your schedule!
Mary G.
oooOOOooo! The socks [both yours and the green ones] look beautiful and wonderous. And I need to get my hands onto a pair of Dashing too. *vigorous nodding*
Ack! You make me sick, someone has completely stolen all my knitting mojo and it makes me want to cry…wait that could be pregnancy hormones…I haven’t knit a stitch in 3 weeks. 3!
Hmmm… Do you think it’s a problem that Christmas is in three weeks and I haven’t begun my holiday knitting yet?
Mothers everywhere are plotting a neener revenge!”She that must be obeyed” does not let things like this just slide by. Your socks are wonderful – one wee question- I know you have lots of knitting needles, why not work on both socks at the same time? When you alternate between sock 1 and sock 2 you are soon finished with a PAIR and the dreaded syndrome is foiled.This works especially well if you are making changes in the pattern and can’t remember what the @#$^%$@ you did in the first sock!
We don’t want to see you in any real agony, but it just doesn’t feel like the Christmas season has begun until you start freaking out a little bit.
You are *so* asking for a cosmic smack down. You know that, don’t you? Neener-neener-ing and claiming to be ahead of schedule on multiple projects. It’s okay to *be* ahead. You just have to be careful *admitting* to the entire blogosphere that you are ahead.
::getting ready to dodge the Yarn Harlot schrapnel from when the lightning strikes::
Congratulations!
I know you thrive on Christmas tension, but you could try something new this year and stay on track to finish everything early and then not be stressed on Christmas eve. I know that stress makes better blog posts, but maybe it’s the year to try something different?
I wish I could knit half as fast as you, though. (envy)
Very Impressive! I hope to do as well as you do this Christmas season:)
I’m jealous! I’ve got two baby sweaters to knit before Christmas (not that they take long), and I haven’t even started them. To be fair, I would have started had my (new!)Lantern Moon circulars NOT fallen apart while making the prototype of said sweater. I bought carpenter’s glue today and they are bonding as we speak, and I hope to have a bit of sweater completed by the end of the afternoon!
Wow. I am very impressed. Congratulations!
So, um, I’m going to be graduating nursing school in May. I’d really love first dibs on a job at the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters…
Your projects all look wonderful-congratulations on your organization. You do realize that some of us may be sending your our last minute projects now, right??
Ooh I hope this works out for you and the k.g. doesn’t decide to smite you!
Although it would provide nice blog fodder. 😉
But I know you can do it! Go Steph go!!! =)
Indeed, you have applied learned wisdom and addressed yourself to your goals in a thoroughly responsible and mature manner.
You are so doomed.
Wow, that’s great!! Keep working at this pace and you’ll be in good shape :o) Listen to all the smart knitters out there and do not add a new project until you’re all done with the schedule!!!!
Hooray for being ahead on Christmas knitting! The projects look great so far!
Love that green! Lately, I’ve noticed green is becoming one of my favorite colors.
I’m impressed but also nervous for you. Something’s going to happen.
BTW, I have the southeast corner of the WEBS warehouse reserved for my “golden years.” Anywhere in the warehouse would be awesome, but I want that corner because it’s nearest the bathroom.
I think you ought to let Lene just plan your entire life when you’re working on a book (or three).
I’d like to borrow Lene as well -she can figure out how I’m gonna manage to finish all my papers for the end of the semester. I’ll even pay!
Ye-haw! Go you.
I hope you got your flu shot! All that gloating is just begging for major illness to knock you on your arse for a week and a half. I hope you have garter stitch items in the plan if it happens.
Keep drinking your OJ!
Oh dear. Um, are you sure it was wise to taunt the knitting gods like that? I’m sitting back away from my monitor, since I fear the smiting will be nasty…
Go Harlot Go!
I love the Embossed Leaves socks.
And you’re even helping me with pants-shopping. Amazing.
You’re not sleeping, are you?
Dude, I sure hope the gansey’s on the list, because if it ain’t, you’ve been down this karma road before. Metaphorical snow tires would be wise right about now. The Tuesday gang is suspiciously silent…
Hooray for being ahead of schedule! With all your extra time and with your infinite knitting wisdom can you help me get back on my schedule? I’m making a tomten for my daughter for Christmas and as I went to pick up the sleeves I found that on one of the fronts I knit 10 extra rows (5 extra ribs of garter stitch). It seems to me I should be able to break the yarn on that front, rip out the extra 10 rows and then graft the stitches back together. The problem is I have no idea how to do this. You can see the offending sweater on my blog. Thanks you super-smart-ahead-of-schedule-knitter. (I figure kissing up is good when you need help)
I think you’re cursing yourself. Time to display some humility..
good luck
Excellent…so, you’re ahead, and I’m like WAY behind and…uhm…give a sister a little help here?
You may THINK you’re a fast learner, but really…neener, neenering ME on the 4th day of December? Your very own non-knitting Mother? Who has coaxed you through a thousand knitting inplosions related to the 25th of December? Sounds more like Einstein’s definition of stupidity, or perhaps just a passing death wish?
After all, Lena is running your KNITTING life, my dear, not your real life. THAT is run by capricious gods, and I suspect you are angering them. Desist before it’s too late!
Love Mum
Ever watch bowling on TV, when they have 10 strikes and the announcer says something about a perfect game? 98% of the time they’re jinxed.
Maybe you should start something and just leave it on the side so it can be the “oh heck, I’ll never finish that in time” project!
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you stay on track.
Way to go!! Your progress is incredible. I wish I could be home knitting instead of at this thing they call a job — I think I would be more productive. I kept my list small but I have one and a half socks (plain vanilla – thank God) and 2+ log cabin style panels (+ assembly and knitted border) for a baby blankie to be knit by Christmas. The socks are definitely do-able, not so sure about the baby blankie.
Well, at this rate, you’ll be done well before Christmas. Shall I send Cei’s sweater on to you? It’s size 2 and 3 needles, which you seem to love, and you’d probably have both sleeves done in a flash!
And where do we sign up for a space at the Home? Cause I’m gonna need one.
I’m looking forward to the Webs home already. Planning ahead.
I love your Mum. (but she scares me a bit…)
I was going to get all pride cometh on you, but Juno said it better.
Now if you could just get your family to take turns feeding you while you knit you could work even faster.
I’d suggest a bedpan too but that’s taking it too far.
Your winning the schedule wars is great, but you know, that neener to your mom may have been a bad move. I’ve long ago learned never to neener my mother…nothing good ever, ever comes of it. Somehow she always knows and gets even (even if it’s just cosmically).
I forgot to ask, will there be a “crazy cat lady” wing at the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters?
Some of us are allergic 🙂
We know you are my idol. Now, with this new efficiency and actually being ahead of schedule you may be beyond idol–getting closer to goddess. The only down side is that I am extremely envious. Just came back from a couple of shopping hours…not fun! Not knitting related; involved some trying on (very exhausting), some heavy decision-making, compromises…and finally gave up in defeat. Tomorrow will be another day. And, you get to knit all the while…
Great work! I actually had a reasonable plan this year until I realized I misread the yardage for the shawl I started. I lost three days on that one as the yarn was a limited hand dye with a toddler eaten tag.
Sigh…maybe a few pair of Dashings will get me through the season.
That’s some great aheadedness!(oh gods, that is so very not a word!) Revel in your successes, but be careful you don’t tempt the knitting gods *too* much…
You go, girl! Keep at that schedule.
Suggestion: Avoid yarn shops and random sources of fibre if possible. Highly dangerous… she muses while eyeing the LYS sale flyer in her own inbox.
I think you’re asking for it………I’m afraid. You’ve tempted the fates….. I’ll light a dpn candle for you…….
(or maybe, (ok- probably) I’m just jealous)
To The Harlot’s Mom: You go, Mom! I, too, have been neenered once too often. And revenge is sweet. My sympathies to Stephanie!
In the learning community that is called Activating Prior Knowledge. Be certain to add to this knowledge as you plan for the next year….
Pace yourself!! Don’t burn out!! And what were you thinking tempting fate by bringing your mother into this!
i swear i’m not trying to be rude when i ask this, but:
am i the only one who thinks the green sock looks like its heel has been munched on by moths? does it just have some white in the colorway at that point, or what? or is it just ventilation?
(i should note that i’m viewing this on a monitor that doesn’t handle detail well, so if i’m missing something that is glaringly obvious to everyone else, i apologize!)
Many congratulations on the gorgeous progress so far and on the brilliant application of prior experience. And here’s hoping it all results in a very enjoyable holiday season for you and yours.
REMINDER: Totally off topic. If it is not too late, you wanted to remember to figure out exactly where all the storm grates are before they are buried under the snow, then the rains and melts come and the streets flood.
Just a thought, since you are on a I’ve learned from my wayward past mode 😉
I have a horrible sinking feeling that the knitting gods are going to kick your ass for this post. Sorry, dude.
I’d wipe that smug smile off my face RIGHT NOW, if I were you… the knittings Gods are watching, and I’m sure the fact that you neenere’d your mom is NOT lost on them. Where do I sign up for the home for Aged and vaguely confused knitters?
So, Steve & Kathy @ WEBS won’t blink an eye when I set up a tent in the back warehouse to make the commute shorter? Excellent. I basically direct deposit my paycheck to them anyway. This will save steps.
You are sooooooo screwed. If the k.g. doesn’t get you, it sounds like your mum will! 😉
Can I come live at WHACK when my hips give out? I’m only 26, but at the rate they’re going, that’ll be before I hit 30.
Great job! The knitting goddesses must be smiling on all of us! I’m actually winning my own war! Gwynivar- you are too cute! M’k!
I’m glad you are feeling so good. Now, if at all possible, do not start adding knitted gifts to your list. I too was believing all scheduled knitting was possible, and then went and added a couple people. While I think I am still okay schedule-wise, I don’t feel quite as confident as I did last week. Beware!
I think it’s fantastic you are doing so well! And after all the chaos of previous years, I think you are due a Christmas where things go right! 😀
I must say, I love that you have mention Melanie’s yarn twice. She is one of my favorite internet friends.
I am impressed at your ability to be ahead of schedule and behind on my own Christmas knitting.
You see, this is where it gets dangerous. You’re way ahead, and feeling cocky, then you start to think, I can let these sit a while and work on something else. Don’t do it. Everything falls behind at that point, no matter how far ahead you are now.
How much room for stash will we have at Web’s Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters??? I know they have tons of yarn, but I can’t abandon my babies,now can I. Will there be special accommodation for sock yarn? :0) sammmmmmmmmm who shares your birthday, but will need a spot at Web’s sooner than you.
It’s Tuesday. No pictures of the spinning wheel or Joe’s gansey. I suspect she burned the wheel a few weeks ago, to keep warm during the furnace wars. It’s not like she would want to confess to that, eh?
Can Lene run my life, also? I need organization like that.
I think you’ve done a brilliant job so far.
And I know I have not been “following you” very long.
But during a few marathon nursing sessions I went through all of your archives…and it does seem…well…perhaps it isn’t best to be gloating so early in the game. The fable of the tortoise and the hare keeps springing to mind….
Gansey, seriously, what would it be like to bring in 2008 without that monkey on your back ( but on Joe’s instead)? Gansey!
I must admit I had to take out the knitting machine yesterday to whack out a scarf to keep on track for my Christmas Knitting. Is it still cheating if you take the scarf off of the machine and hand-knit the edges of it? 🙂 Oh well – onward soldiers!
Great job, Steph! Don’t get cocky.
Stephanie, this is truly frightening.
Oh, dear, I hope your mum’s present is finished already! 😉
“If this keeps up I will not suffer at all with the Christmas knitting. I am Blowing Through the schedule with an enthusiasm and dedication that is pleasing me to no end.”
I’m knocking on wood for you, dear. And I’ll try not to laugh when the inevitable happens. Good Luck! Now Stop Jinxing Yourself!
This can only mean one thing: You’re going to find out a week before Christmas that you have fifteen new relatives. They all love handknit socks…
LOL – The Mum Hath Spoken! You are *so* in trouble, young lady! Are you ready for the entire family to show up for a spontaneous early Christmas party at your place? [g]
Seriously, everything’s looking gorgeous, and I hope you end up having actually slept the night of the 24th. Looks like you’ve got enough variety not to drive you nuts without starting something new, too. Will wonders never cease?
My only question about WHACK is – can we somehow fix up a trans-dimensional portal between it and Powell’s Books Mother Ship? Then we can be surrounded by yarn *and* books; better than perfect! Plus just think how much faster Blue Moon can ship to Powell’s than Webs…Well heck, they could just drive over to make deliveries!
Twas the night before Hubris
And all through the house
Stephanie was cackling
And knitting a mouse
She knitted some mittens
She knitted some socks
Not even suspecting
She’d be undone by the clock.
I love horrible poetry
I have to agree with one of your commenters–the heel of that green sock looked a bit odd. Maybe its just my eyes, but it looked a little–shreddy. Perhaps your cat has been up to no good? A lump of coal in his stocking! I’m getting the tiniest feeling of dread about all your Christmas progress. I have no idea why.
I agree with Jenn about the WEBS group home name: call it WHACK. Besides, I don’t think there will necessarily be any Vagueness about the Confusion.
And BTW, I’ll be on Aisle 4.
Or is it Aisle Five? You know, the one where I saw that yarn? That really special blue yarn? From Italy. Or was it from Germany?
See? My confusion is pretty well defined and I’m not even living there yet.
Oh Steph…. oh dear, dear, Steph… Why did you have to gloat? I soooo wanted you to avoid the wrath of the Knitting Fates. And now, now there is just a wiiiiiiide open door for them to step thru and screw up everything.
Not to mention, your mommy needs to thump you upside the head for that last Neener.
How many hours a day do you schedule for knitting at this time of year? It must be tons.
Great progress but… you do know this will come back to bite you right? There will be a project that refuses to submit. Just sayin’…
I’m laying on odds on you finishing everything on your list, but you either forgot a project, or will add one so you still go crazy. Any takers???
Given the renovations we are doing, there is now lovely space in the warehouse where we could arrange bunk beds and such . .. Of course if I’m held to what the folks on Ravelry want, what started out as a nice lounge for the non-knitters has now morphed into a cross between a Marriott Hotel and European Hostel – complete with bar, restaurant, a game room and a camp ground for those that prefer to commune with nature and make s’mores the proper way.
Oh – and please don’t tempt the holiday schedule Gods!!! I am 4 inches in on a scarf for my MIL, that started out as crochet, but was not happy. Steve’s side celebrates Hanukkah, which starts tonight. I have until Friday and I am neither fast or good under pressure – ugh!
Great job Stephanie! Unlike the others, I think Joe’s recent Really Awful Week is providing karmic support for you’re knitting this week.
Betty in Minnesota
I think you have gloated too soon. This makes me nervous.
Please remember the Knitting Goddess’ wrath and the WET BLOCKING that she insisted on last summer. Do not tempt fate again. She’s a jealous mistress, she is.
Stephanie, if you just tell Kathy about that whole Webs Home for Aged and etc knitters, she’ll go ahead and build it. We just won’t tell Steve.
I am a grandma. Most beautiful baby in 20 years.
I’m going to echo everyone else’s concern regarding your flippant attitude towards the Knitting Fates. It’s worrisome.
However, the green sock is just divine! I’m incredibly impressed with the speed of your progress.
Do we have to be Aged and Vaguely Confused? Could we be Not Quite Completely Aged and Simply Scatterbrained? (In other words, can I go NOW?) Given the choice between a spa and the WEBS Home for People Like Me, I’m choosing WEBS Every. Single. Time. Thanks for setting this up, Stephanie. Much appreciated. 🙂
my big box of yarn from webs
arrived in the state of florida today
webs south someday?
my box has 12 different colours of
yarn one for each month of 2008
plus one for 2009
i think we all need a choclate
break
Your odds of accomplishing everything on time have to be in your favor by now! Continued success!
there’s a fancy shmancy word for what you did…it’s Extrapolation- taking information gathered from one experience and applying it to another with hopes of a similar result……(only better)
Mary
Oh no! You are on such a roll but I fear you may have jinxed yourself and maybe even your family with all that gloating and happiness!!! I will pray for you dear one, I will pray that you and your schedule will be protected from the knitting fates. But I must say…you rock! 🙂 Great job on all those FOs.
PUHLEASE stay away from any large patches of ice out there (and perhaps stay out of Joe’s car too) – I don’t want to see/hear of any sprained wrists that would ruin what you’ve accomplished so far!
Just saying that there is some wicked respiratory stuff going around out in California that could somehow get to Toronto. I did get lots of knitting done between the coughs while missing a week of work. But then the sinuses got involved. Not so good for counting or thinking. The hubris level was perhaps a bit high in this post.
“Neener neener”? Are you insane? That’s just like inviting trouble. You’re a brave one. 😉
I hope Lena built some wiggle-room into that master plan of hers/yours…
Congratulations on being ahead of schedule. I raise my glass in the hopes that you have stress-free holiday knitting for the entire season!
BTW – can I borrow Lene to make a schedule for me?
SO what if you tempted fate with neener neener and smirking: a day “on the December schedule” lived in joy is a day well lived. Just bookmark this page so you can relive it later if need be.
Does Lene add a little time to each project automatically or does she just trust you?
fleece and love,
I think I shall have to learn Irish Cottage knitting. This is amazing.
PS – who’s doing the cooking?
Yay for IT going quickly! The snow in the sock picture looks gorgeous, would you mind sending some snojo(snow+mojo) over in a general Ann Arbor direction? And maybe yarn-mojo? I’m having the hardest time trying to get yarn to finish my sister’s socks! Every craft store within 25 miles is sold out of the stuff! And I concur with maddy. It takes three neeners to anger the knitting deities.
My mother in law is coming for three and a half weeks over the holiday season, my kids are about to break up from school but I’m still working full time (from home), I haven’t done even a third of the gift shopping yet, my two gift-knitting projects have refused to knit themselves and I just burnt TWO christmas cakes.
I want to run away from home. Can I move into WHACK now please?
Woohoo… being ahead of the game feels so good!!
I think I need Lene, too. Sigh. Glad you’re on track, Steph. Keep it up, girl!
Dude. First you have to create the Home for Incredibly FLAT Knitters who got that way from a seriously righteous smackdown. Jeebus, but you got you some stones. I am breathless at how blithely you are cavorting and poking with that sharp stick. Yowzah.
Yours in awe (and a little rubber-necking),
Ski
I need Lene.
Or Someone.
I’ve actually gone so far as to count objects left to knit and divided by days left to see where I need to be each day to finish in time…
But it’s not the same.
And there’s no nifty project shifting mid-stream which we all need for sanity.
Can we sign up for her scheduling miracles for next time? Is it too late for this year???
It’s December 4. I’m behind and my “wingin’ it” Santa hat is too big for my 10 year old. Bwah!
amy – How about the Quite Un-aged And Completely Kooky (Q.U.A.C.K.) subsection of W.H.A.C.K.? There will of course be two sections for the cat-friendly and the allergic.
It’s too late for me – I’m already somewhat aged and confused.
Omigosh! I am sooo jealous of your excellent knitterly progress toward the Christmas gifting goal. After a frantic month when the only time I had to knit was used for finishing up projects for our church bazaar, I finally sat down after the bazaar on Sunday with a whole evening ahead of me to start on Christmas knitting. Which project to do first? That’s when it hit me that I **forgot to order the yarn I needed** for these special projects. Guess what I’ll be doing Christmas eve? (But with no hope whatsoever of success.) Your swallowtail shawl is gorgeous–makes me want to knit one. As for the WEBS retirement project–how soon can we take early retirement? My DH has to work hard to keep me from living there now–I manage to slip into that warehouse whenever he has his back turned.
I love the idea of a retirement retreat for aged knitters–when we can’t concentrate to knit we could just pet yarn
Yeah, the snow on the sock got me too. I was reading your gloating and my brain was attacking me from within wondering how you could have possibly missed the huge holes in the sock.
Your experience here gives me so much hope though. To actually learn from past experience? Dude! Maybe if you can do it than I can too. Here’s to hoping.
Okay. It’s gotta be that you’re knitting with wands. As in Magic wands. You’re just going “poof” and a sock appears. Right? Where can I get some?
You should be very excited about your progress! Way to go!
HOORAY HARLOT!
Will we be in trouble when we remind you of this post on Dec. 24?? j.k. I’m jealous of your progress. I have ONE PAIR of felted clogs left, yet I can’t seem to finish them.
I think I already do live at Webs.
I love, love, love the green socks. Must. Not. Buy. More. Sock. Yarn.
Congrats on the Christmas knitting, don’t mean to brag but mine is done.
Girl, you’re totally high off the wool fumes, aren’t you? Never say “neener neener” before you’ve finished every last project and delivered the goods. Are you trying to change your name to Murphy?
Hmm. I thought I was the only person older than a second grader that says neener neener.
Thought of you last night as I knit a hat on the plane to New York, the whole back of the plane cheered when I darned the last end and put it on. Of course this is a replacement hat for the hat I knit too small for an adult male’s head, and for an Oct. birthday, but the hat is done! NYC what a town! Rock on!
oooooooh, it’s SNOW on the sock. okay, makes sense now. it just totally looked like the heel had been ravaged, to me. i was thinking “whaa?? steph didn’t notice the holes in the sock?? she has officially lost it.”
but even though i thought it was hole-y, i still considered it a beautiful sock!
oh, and if you’re so ahead of schedule, you can help me out!
i’m trying to finish a charlotte’s web shawl, my first shawl and first lace piece, as a jeebusmas present for my mom. if we were actually going to be together this year, i’d be okay, as i would technically have until ~8 pm on dec 24th (we do gifts on xmas eve) to finish. as it is though, i live in vancouver (canada) and my parents are in arizona for the holidays- which means i need to get this baby done and in the mail, like, yesterday if i want it to arrive on time.
the really pitiful thing about this whole situation? i bought the yarn back in july, fully intent on getting an early start and having it done with time aplenty to spare. oh, i got an early start, alright. i just conveniently put it aside after the first dozen rows or so, until about a week ago.
A home for aged knitters would be great. My friend’s Grandpa Joe liked to count out and wrap change for her. She had a big gallon jar that she put all the change in, and when it was full, it was Grandpa Joe’s happy day. As his memory got worse, the jar got full more often, as in: Grandpa Joe went to bed, she unwrapped all the coins, put them back in the jar and ironed the wrappers so they looked crisp. So, we could do the same thing with our stashes- have attendants who every night would put some part of our stash in a bag that said “webs” and show us our new purchases in the AM. Most excellent use of stash, ever.
Seems the popular vote is that it’s pride before the fall….however, even if you do end up in last minute panic on xmas eve, if you break the organization record for stick-to-itiveness….then there is obvious improvement with maybe some room for more.
More power to you sticking with the list!
I’ll send that knitting goddess good vibes that it isn’t really pride as much as being excited that you’ve stuck with it and are ahead of the game so far!
You go girl!
😉
Yay for the schedule-busting! I think you should start a help column. Like Dear Harlot, I have holiday knitting to do, but my family still expects me to do things like move the clothes from washer to dryer, and take care of the baby. What should I do?
I will live vicariously through you.
Looking really good so far on the Christmas knitting-love the hydroponic green. (Just imagine what Kona would look like!) By all means, sign me up too for Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters. I’ll qualify any day now since I watch Battlestar Galactica and try to knit too.
How is it possible? I’m sitting here really working myself up into a whine… you are so much farther ahead than me! I work 30 hours a week between two jobs, mother 2 children (and a fairly useless husband) and do all the housework (without putting my kids in daycare for 1 minute mind you!) I knit all evening long, and sometimes during the day when the wee ones let me, and yet can’t begin to keep up with you! And I know that you are an incredibly busy woman! What am I doing wrong?
Whew! I thought the first monkey was moth eaten as well. Nice job your knitty-ness. Now don’t get cocky!
Oh yeah, I knew that’s embossed leaves and not a monkey. I was just testing y’all, that’s all.
You’re welcome to neener at your mom while online, but doing it to her face gives her ammo to gloat with when the knitting goddess smites you at the worst possible moment.
You are truly a knitting super-woman! Bravo on the holiday knitting so far.
Please, please, please, please could you share your pattern for the short row sock heel so wonderfully demonstrated in today’s post? I’m not above begging, or even bribery…
Go Harlot! But you might not want to brag too much again. Murphy (or the Knitting Gods take your pick) are probably listing and will smack you down before you can say frogging. If they don’t, and you kick your knitting schedule’s arse, you’re more than welcome to come to my house and finish my Christmas knitting. I was doing great. I was finally finishing up some dyeing projects from various people, my knitting was progressing phenomenally. Well for me anyways. We shan’t compare what you have accomplished to my slower than a snail, or molasses in January speed LOL! Then I made the enormous mistake of actually telling my husband I might make it and so you know what happened. I got sick, and not just any old sick! The kind where internal organs are involved and so you can’t sit for long or concentrate. SIGH! Next year I’m keeping my mouth shut until I’m all done! At least I finished the scarf for my brother in the spring.
Dude! Are you eating and sleeping at all?
WOW! Really great progress on the Christmas knitting! Lovely, just lovely gifts. That said, do you think I could mail my Christmas knitlist to Canada to add to your list (since you are so far ahead)? 🙂
I just keep chugging along…..slowly but surely.
I think the problem is the days – they are too short, yes, that’s it. The days are too short!
Happy Christmas Knitting!
As a teacher, it is a joy for me to see higher-order thinking skills actually work! I think you have analysis, synthesis, and evaluation really going there.
I’m not being sarcastic. Listen to people in the world around you. There’s very little of that kind of process going on.
Great job Steph. I think I have your Christmas dilemma. Things are working up slow down here in Mexico. It is cold and blustery. Good knitting weather but to much interferes. As you know all to well.
Keep up the great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who are you and what have you done with our Yarn Harlot?
Oh I want a place in the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters too!!! You might be on to something here. An “active retirement community” within walking distance of Webs and where at least one householder in each home is a knitter. I’d put my name down there in a heartbeat.
Eeeek ! At first I thought there had been mice knibbling at the heel of your green sock ! Now I am relieved to see that it is snow (not too common where I live)
Keep up the great work, I hope your Christmas mojo sprinkles down on me. I have several projects started and I’m starting to get a little worried about time.
Go, Stephanie, go! You’ll get done, with time to spare! Wooohoooooo!!!
The real key to success will be that you don’t get too excited and over confident, and decide to squeeze in one or two more extra projects. No, socks for the postman seeing as you’d ahead of schedule or baby hat for your child’s teachers nephews baby.
Congrats on being (mostly) on schedule at the moment, but, to quote Han Solo, “Don’t get cocky, kid!” You know how the knitting goddesses love to smack you down.
Count me in on the Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters too – even though “vaguely” is not quite accurate in my case. That back room is amazing, and the staff are just plain wonderful!
I’m a day late with this, but I want to congratulate you on the application of past year’s data to this year’s schedule. Very grown-up of you. I mean that in a good way.
All I can say is I wish I had a organizer! Maybe someday! I love the socks (the green ones)! I’m new to socks and just finished my second pair! Thanks for the inspiration!
Have a great holidays!
I get to neener neener you because
… I … AM …. FINISHED!
But seriously, way to keep on track, love the green socks and I want a spot in the home too. As long as I don’t have to bring my KOARC (yeah, I ripped that off) he just doesn’t understand.
I need a scheduler too… actually I know what I’m doing wrong, I just need someone to GENTLY tell me that no, I don’t get to make gloves for myself, I need to wrap packages for mailing. And No, I don’t need to go out shopping any more, I just need to dig through the gift drawer for that gift-exchange gift. I really need just a little swat on the nose when I start to get distracted from the task at hand. What I really can’t believe, is that you are STARTING your holiday knitting during the holidays. For me that stuff is done, I just need to sew up, wrap up and mail away!
Good luck, you’re doing great.
Wow, knitting AHEAD of schedule–isn’t that somehow contrary to the very essence of knitting? Or maybe it’s just contrary to the way I knit….:)
I bet you could add some things to your Christmas list… I know you are already thinking that…
My list consists of one pair of socks.
I am such an under-achiever!
I was doing great–one and a half pairs of fingerless mitts to go–when I noticed my hands casting on a Rib Warmer. Hmmm. Donna, what’s a KOARC?
Of course, if you were like me and only needed to knit one thing for Christmas (and a scarf at that), then you would be done already!
Hmmmmmmmmmm…………..it would interesting, even perhaps, curious(?) to know how many sets of needles for sock knitting you possess. And, how many are employed at any given point in time. On the average. I will probably be depressed when you reply.
I hope that Lene planned for the new Knitty—- it’s up- and I’ve been printing all afternoon…. caution- could totally screw up the Christmas knit-plan..just sayin…
Darn it!!! I come here during the Christmas season to commiserate with someone who is sliding into Christmas hell right along with me. I don’t like sliding alone! (pout)
Will you tell the yarn you’re using for item #2? Because I love it!!
Oh dear. I’m afraid to read your blog for the rest of this month. Somewhere in space a meteor is changing course…
You just blow my mind how much you can knit girl!
To knit anything for Christmas I would have had to start last July…as in July 2006!
Consequently, I only knit for people who are willing to wait a long time.
How long is the waiting list at The WEBS Home and do they allow Elderly and Vaguely Confused Cats as well?
P.S. I have extra sleeping bags if we need to camp out to be on the waiting list.
Dare I say….
Joe looks quite..
Dashing?
Aside from singing the christmas song—- (Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh…) That may very well be, the first time I’ve ever used the word “dashing” in conversation.
If you set up the Home for Knitters at WEBS, I’ll see about setting up a west coast version at Woodland Woolworks over here. Deal?
Thinking on an acronym for Webs Home for Aged and Vaguely Confused Knitters. Obviously it is WHAVCK. However, if we drop the word ‘vaguely’ thus admitting that we are simply aged and confused, we get WHACK! which somehow seems apropos. I’m in. Where do I sign up?
I seriously hope you remembered to knock on wood and make a sacrifice of yarn to the knitting goddess, cuz you just tempted fate.
Your knitting prowess astounds me all the time, you are my mentor and you didn’t even know it! Someday, when I grow up, I wanna knit just like you.