Dear Knitting

Dear Knitting,

In every relationship, there is equal and separate culpability for how things are going. I believe that, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because heaven knows that we’ve had our share of problems in the 36 years that we’ve been together, and mostly, I’ve been proud of the way that we’ve worked things out. I accept my responsibility to keeping us together. Long-term committed relationships are hard, and they take work. That said, and knowing that my love for you is complete and whole and healthy… I would like to just give you one little tip on getting along with me so that we can spend more happy time together.

TRY NOT TO BE SUCH A COLOSSAL PAIN IN THE ASS.

Thank you, and love always,

Stephanie

167 thoughts on “Dear Knitting

  1. Ha. I may have to send a similar email to my knitting. Maybe it’s been hanging out with your knitting and it has been a bad influence??

  2. Aww.. what happened? I’ve been down that road and the fights Knitting and I have had haven’t been… all kind words.

  3. Dear Stephanie,
    You will find my reply in the spaghetti tangle under the davenport.
    Love,
    Knitting
    P.S. Your next sweater’s gonna ride up, no matter what you do to try to fix it.

  4. As much as I hate the fact you are having difficulty, I can’t help but be a little heartened in knowing you face similar difficulties as me. πŸ™‚ Mebbe on a much more sophisticated/complicated scale, but still…

  5. I don’t know what your knitting did, but I could send this email to my February Lady sweater.

  6. Meanwhile, my knitting just won’t stop nagging me. “It’s been more than a week since we had any time together. You don’t pay ANY ATTENTION to me anymore!” I feel your pain.

  7. You poor dear. There comes a time in every relationship when you need to take a break. Scrapbooking? Decoupage? Quilling, Perhaps? No – it’s for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Go out for a run and get a good night’s sleep. Things will look rosier in the morning.

  8. Methinks that the lace knitting is getting to you. I think we should prescribe you a bit of easy sock knitting until the the lace learns to behave itself. Plus a beer or three.

  9. I hope your knitting listens better than my DH when I give him the same peptalk. Personally, I’d put my money on the knitting.
    snicker snort

  10. Is it possibly jealous of something? The shiny red car, perhaps? Knitting can be a darn fickle thing. Maybe it just wants to go for a ride somewhere….

  11. Hmm, is it the lace getting this stern talking to? You could always take a “brain break” and whip out another Noro scarf. Not sure the second “Viper” sock would count as a break, at least not for me!

  12. Just the other day I was sitting on my couch for about 4 hours more than I thought it would take to rip out and entirely reknit the all-the-way-around-so-you-can’t-see-it-until-it’s-done-button-band/edging on my highly-modified-so-following-the-directions-is-already-out-of-the-question-Bacardi-cardi gritting my teeth and repeating, “I love knitting, I love knitting, I wanted to knit over Spring Break. I should be happy. I love knitting….”
    You are not alone!

  13. My knitting and I have been getting along so nicely lately, now I’m worried. I now feel some huge knitting related catastrophe stalking me. something with the word “gauge” involved.

  14. I know society disapproves, but it’s my affair with Spinning that has really allowed me to stay married to Knitting for so long. Knitting doesn’t buy into these bourgeois notions about fidelity; sometimes the gifts Spinning gives me, I share with Knitting so that we can do even more fulfilling work together.

  15. Lord love a duck –what project has caused you so much trouble ? Darn the knitting for not pulling it’s weight for this realtionship. I guess it’s all left up to you for now to straighten it out as to who is boss.

  16. Oh dear, we know to be concerned when there isn’t even a project specified. Whatever happened, I am so sorry it happened to you! May your knitting soon go smoothly… with no dropped stitches, pattern misreads, or lying swatches. Loop after glorious peaceful loop of well-behaved yarn. This I wish for you!

  17. I feel for you.
    I had a pattern picked out- I had beautiful stash yarn and beautiful needles that I had bought eons ago. In essence, free knitting although it was not free when I purchased it but that is besides the point. And then, I’m 18 hours away from a friends birthday when I realize that my free knitting is way off gauge and I’m knitting a tent (although it was beautifully knitted if I might say so- Someone would be very comfortable camping in this on Mr. Everest) I was like, knitting, why are you trying to ruin what we have together?
    So I kept the pattern, got new yarn and new needles- but I will not just forgive this knitting. I will bring this up in a few years. I will hold a grudge.

  18. I’m with Mea above. This could be me speaking to my spouse. I would also add, “charm is not enough anymore.”
    Back to the knitting…I will finish both of last year’s frustrating cotton projects this spring.

  19. Ooooh, I’ve had THAT day! Setting the offending item on fire is one option, of course, but the safer (and thriftier) choice is to carry it to the linen closet, throw open the door and give it a good long look at the WIP’s languishing within. You can almost feel the yarn squirming in your hands…mwha-ha-ha-ha!

  20. I find that a time out helps – The entraloc sock I’m currently knitting is in time out. 4th sock in the same pattern should definitely NOT be such a pain! That’ll teach him!

  21. Dear Knitting
    Know this; if you annoy me too much there is plenty more yarn in the shops!
    And I have been known to be unfaithful … I do covet other knitting, and try other crafts.
    So, do your bit and I shall try to be true.
    PS Could always start up a swingers group and swap knitting!

  22. Oh dear. Sounds like something needs to get put in time out for a bit while a brain-free project gets knitted to calm the nerves.
    My knitting, meanwhile, is busy mocking me for my selfish desires. I let my sister pick from my sock yarns the one she wanted me to knit up for her. She of course picked my total favorite. So the whole time I was knitting the first sock, I debated whether I should keep this pair or give it to her. I finally decided to keep it, and that’s when my knitting replied, “Ha ha ha! That’s what YOU think!” Turns out the leg, due to a bunch of cables in the pattern, is too skinny for my fat ankles, so sis is getting the socks anyway.
    Clearly, it’s time to renegotiate this relationship. Is there such a thing as a knitting marriage counselor?

  23. I have had much the same relationship w/ my knitting lately. Especially when I had to rip back several rows on a dumb scarf for the 10th time because I somehow managed to arse up a simple y/o k2tog yet again! Not the same mistake in the same spot, the same mistake over and over throughout the scarf. I have found it really
    screws things up when you drop stitches with a y/o.
    I am not going to blame my R/A yet again. I am going to accept personal responsibility for being a sloppy knitter and try to do better.
    And also finish the stupid thing today so I can start some brave new more challenging project.
    In short, I feel your pain, sister.

  24. I have a feeling that tomorrow’s post will be wildly entertaining. But careful, Rams, or she’ll write the whole thing in Estonian, and then where will we be?

  25. um… so what did the estonian lace do this time? grab furniture and trip over and unravel? play in the mud? get drunk? sneak out of the house and slip into places off limits?
    i’m curious.
    and sympathetic.

  26. Amen. I just finished the husband cardigan and he consented to try it on. It was made in a size 2″ larger than his chest for ease. It was knit ON GAUGE – I checked numerous times. I even learned how to do a decent mattress stitch. It just about fits – a little on the small side! DANG!
    Listen up, Knitting – read Stephanie’s letter, ok??

  27. I have been trying to decide if I should set fire to my current project with a blow torch or if I should just throw it off a bridge.
    I’m thinking about giving knitting a Dear John letter.
    Curses!
    I am so there with you today.

  28. Like teenagers, my knitting is in collusion with your knitting. Relentlessly stubborn and steadfast in it’s will to drive me insane. And I’m right back at it, fighting with it simply to prove my point that I am smarter than 2 sticks and a piece of string.
    Is it Sunday yet?

  29. That is just the best. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard – only cos it relates so much to my knitting life…

  30. A lot of people seem to be have knitting issues recently. I hope all the knitting isn’t talking to each other and rebelling or something.

  31. Oh, good, it’s not just my knitting that’s being a pain in the blank! Maybe it’s a conspiracy…

  32. Hey, Steph – what about the March 23 calendar entry? Remember who’s boss? “If a knit isn’t working out right, darn it, you can make it right.” . . . If that doesn’t work, you can still take it outside, place it in the road, and run it over with your [new] car as many times as it takes to feel better”.

  33. It’s ok to stray. Knitting has been pretty naughty lately so I’m cheating on him with crochet, and it works.

  34. Oh my. Something is wrong. πŸ™‚ I thought immediately, as Gina above me did, about the entry in your calendar the other day. Take a break, maybe. Ignore it for a bit. Go watch reruns of Galactica or something. Go for a walk and leave the nuisance knitting at home. You’ll think of something, I’m sure. Hope the knitting starts to behave itself soon! πŸ™‚

  35. Oh dear, It’s that shawl again isn’t it??
    Don’t let it kick your arse, you are smarter than it!!!!

  36. If your letter works, let me know. I have some lace knitting that might be receiving a certified letter in the near future….

  37. Is it the shawl or the socks? Please tell me it’s not the socks!!!! I showed the pattern to my sister (Huge BSG fan!) and she told me that she would LOVE a pair. Now I have to knit the darn things…. Steph, about your blog, I love it, but it can be dangerous! LOL!

  38. The images this conjured were priceless!
    What was your yarn guilty of?
    …lusting someone else’s needles?
    …climbing into another’s bag/bed?
    …unable to perform desired acts to your satisfaction?
    Love your blog Stephanie! πŸ˜€

  39. Have been having a problem with a pilates sock, which should be so simple because there is NO heel! Have done lots of socks without as much trouble as this is causing. Ripped out for the 3rd time and it is in time out until it says it’s sorry.

  40. Sounds like your knitting is askin’ for a shunnin’! That’ll teach her.
    Laura

  41. ACK! Get out of my head! lol
    I went to bed last night with 15″ of sweater on my needles. Woke up, knit 8 rows and STILL have 15″. This is NOT FAIR!

  42. LOL! I’m going to plagiarize your letter and substitute my husband’s name for every occurrence of “knitting”! πŸ˜‰
    Perhaps another ribwarmer is in order?

  43. Go by a hank of silk for 30.00 with money that should go toward groceries and gas. I did that about 30 minutes ago and I still feel good.

  44. Dear knitting,
    Do try and be a bit better towards Steph. Clearly she’s having a bad [horrible] time with you and needs closure. Please be better behaved. Please?
    Oh, and stop putting me in such binds! I know you’re there on my table, just sitting and looking pretty. Shush!
    Sincerely,
    Joey

  45. Dear Knitting,
    I well understand you not listening to me sometimes but dude, you should totally listen to Stephanie. I mean, she is so good to you and she’s good to us and she has patience galore. I can’t believe you’d be snarky to her for one minute. So, uh, Knitting? Be good. I mean it. Be good to her. We’re watching you and our numbers are really huge. No pressure. Just behave knitting. If she says, do it… do it, dude.
    Just another yarn handler

  46. Pour yourself and the knitting each a nice glass of wine. Drink both. Sleep all night. Cheers.

  47. It is nice to see other’s more gifted growl from time to time. I’ve justed ended up with an extra stitch from ?????
    My problem is when I “rip” I always ended up worse off.
    Do you have any tips on ripping with out ending up even more screwed up? I know two rows back it was fine.
    (Yes…you are busy…but since you seem to rip with ease, tutorial on ripping would be much appreciated – esp when it comes to lace).

  48. No wonder you are tired. Thank you for holding up all the exhausted knitting educators in Oregon with your lively wit and incredible insights. Now to top it all off you have designed Rogue Roses for those of us lucky enough to be sock club members. Ms. Harlot you need a tall glass of red wine lovely snacks and some take care of Stephanie rest time. Afterwards take the hot new red car somewhere to fill up your artist sole (ha ha) and don’t knit for a few hours or even a day or too. Thanks for all you do.

  49. Not that this would have ANYTHING to do with it….but how is the insomnia working out?

  50. I am famous for tangling my yarn-just regular yarn even, not fairisle or intarsia(what I can do to that is unprintable) . My knitting group carries extra “bras” just for me and tend to move to the other side of the table if I pull out a new skein of yarn. I have tried saying a silent prayer to the Yarn Muses but now realize that some sort of sacrifice is in order. I would gladly implore your knitting to be better to you but I don’t think it would help.

  51. Yeah knitting! Why you got to be such a pain! Why can’t you just look like a f-ing heart! I’m knitting you for f-ing charity. You need to be done. You hear me? Done!

  52. It’s the lack of sleep talking, not the knitting. More sleep provides more perspective and it will all come out beautifully in the end.

  53. Have Joe take you for a ride in your new car, that should help a little. You could also hold the knitting out the window and threaten to let go…

  54. Amen, sister!
    I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the shawl I was knitting this morning. I tinked back two rows (argh!) and discovered that I cannot count only to one or only to two. Twice. %sigh%

  55. I have not been knitting as long as you have been, but I can certainly relate to the letter to your knitting.

  56. Oh dear! Sounds nasty! Hope that it’s nothing terminal! On a lighter note, I’m really excited because I’ve just discovered that Meg Swansen is coming to the UK Ravelry day in June! Just hope I can make it!

  57. I have similar issues with a sweater, so I put it in time out to do a plain vanilla sock for myself, which I totally had to pull out when I made it too big….for my OWN foot! Needless to say this is not the *first* sock I’ve made for myself in 45 years of knitting.
    I have just one word to share with you — spinning.

  58. I just tell my knitting to be such a pain in the ass or it’s going to go under the bed. Forever.

  59. Dear child …. it is your AGE that is keeping you up at night … alas, it happens to lots of us … when it happened to me I thought I was either depressed or stressed from life and work. .. only to discover it was my hormones playing nasty tricks on me …. horrible but normal … my insomnia went on for years … there is help !

  60. I’m not even going to ask. Because I’m afraid to know the answer . . . just remember, you could be in a worse relationship. Like a friend who’s been drafted, uh, make that who volunteered, to make the costumes for the school play.

  61. Dear Stephanie,
    You make me laugh. A lot. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    Lynn

  62. Not to be a pain in your patoot, but when will we be able to get the pattern for the cowl? Yeah! Your cowl! Please give us some information about the when, so I will be able to control my anticipation. And by the way, how is the insomnia working out for you? I’ve been have a similar problem for two months. Since I’m out of work, I just sleep late. This has become a vicious cycle of falling asleep late, get up late , fall asleep later, get up later. HELP ME! Love ya, Steph! Carol

  63. Thanks for that, Stephanie. I needed a belly-laugh today. Not sure I needed the diet coke up my nose, though…

  64. Substitute 29 yrs for your 36 and I believe that it is very similar to a conversation I had with my type-A husband when he was on use-it-or-lose-it leave over the winter break (the kind where the boss says “go home and don’t come back til after the New Year”- he’s a super geek college prof and teaches electrical and computer engineering) and after the first few days he had finished all of his projects and thought maybe he’d start suggesting stuff for the kids and me to do. Next time I’ll start him on a complicated lace shawl to keep him busy. It will probably appeal to the engineer in him. Do you think there are any patterns written in binary code?

  65. I realized last night that I might just be in a mature, adult relationship when my boyfriend informed me that he wanted to be the biggest pain in my ass for a long time to come.

  66. Sounds like a common occurance.I had a sock in time out last week.It’s been behaving since it has come out and promised to behave.Maybe your project just needs a good stern talking to and a time out too.

  67. Dear Stephanie,
    That’s what you get for finishing those UFO’s. You upset my balance and I have to piss you off in other ways.
    Love,
    The Knitting

  68. Whatever you do, don’t go to bed angry. Remember the dpn that hid behind your ear? You never know when Knitting will hide a needle in your bed or something equally evil…

  69. It’s time for a gimme. Stockinette socks in a time tested yarn. Stressed out times are no time for lace. Return to the soothing basic socks…

  70. O-o-o-oh… Testify, Sistah – can I get a Hallelujah?
    I’m about ready to pack my current WIPS into clay-pigeon shaped bags and go skeet shooting. πŸ™‚
    So, if it helps, you’re not alone.

  71. Maybe it’s the phase of the moon? I am certainly being beaten by a simple vine lace…

  72. As long as it’s not the lace shawl which has prompted this sad letter, it’s ok; because I am waiting and waiting to see that finished, and I don’t want you to throw it away!

  73. folks, you have to remember, this is the new moon and LOTS of things have a tendency to go to sh-t right around the new moon…pay attention for a year or two to the last day or two before a new moon and see what you discover…
    i used to do alot of fine craft shows.. and i tried to not do the ones scheduled close to the new moon.. they always turned out more trouble than not.

  74. Dear Tish,
    You have to check out this link: http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter06/PATTbinary.html
    “…it’s now possible to store data on a scarf. And the good news is, the construction is completely open source. ….
    For those of you who are unfamiliar with data storage in computers, the smallest piece of data computers use is a bit (short for binary digit), which comes in two flavors: one or zero. But that’s only useful for storing things that have two options, like on/off or yes/no. So bits are typically grouped in sets of eight, making up the data unit known as the byte. There are enough unique eight-digit combinations of zeroes and ones to represent our alphabet and several others besides.
    By my calculations, Binary holds an astounding 122 bytes of your finest information!”

  75. Poor Harlot! I didn’t know knitting could stress someone out that much. Have you considered separate vacations?
    Can’t wait to hear the story behind this one!!!

  76. First, the sweater looks great and your sister is a star! Second, I’m betting its the lace too… all those nups. Third, I’m looking at the calendar page for Monday March 23 (close enough) “When it comes to your knitting, remember who’s boss. IF a knit isn’t working out right, darn it, you can make it right. ….run it over with your [new] car as many times as it takes to make you feel better. Either way, don’t let it push you around.” I wonder who was wise enough to write that???
    Good luck!

  77. Dear Steph’s Knitting,
    Remember that cold, dark, dank closet? Remember the last time you were there and the monsters (hehehe) under your bed?
    Straighten up and fly right OR>>>>>>>!!!!
    Monsters could turn into aliens and you might be permanently abducted, never to return!
    We do love you, but have you turned into a terrible teenager? πŸ™

  78. Okay. This post, and my subsequent laughter at it, has officially jinxed me. I had a lovely little knitting project that was going fairly swimmingly… but while reading these comments, I have made not one, but TWO stupid mistakes that were totally my own fault, and I can feel the yarn mocking me.

  79. Sorry, I’m afraid knitting was too busy being good to me. I just finished the edging on the shawl for my daughter’s Senior Prom with 1 yard of yarn to spare-I held my breath for the last side which may explain my extreme giddiness at finishing the thing:)

  80. Ummm…. it must be true love and a long term committment because you feel free to occasionally air grievances.
    The shawl??
    Maybe a weekend apart?
    Wine?
    A friend’s shoulder to cry on?
    Counselling?
    Try working on one of those nice multicoloured scarves for a while….

  81. Whereas my knitting is rumored to be filing for legal separation citing abandonment…

  82. thank you for expressing my own feelings since the weekend… late sunday after i had spent all saturday and sunday knitting on my mariposa.. i realized that the last 10 rows were the wrong repeat.. and of course i didn’t put in a safety line.. so i took a smaller needle and tried to weave it in on the 12th row ooops that didn’t work of course.. i got it down to the 8th row instead.. grrr.. had to repeat the 9-12 rows.. and of course i’ve got 308 stitches on the needle.. haha.. well at least i was back there last nite and have now started back to the correct stitches.. haha.. and i only gave myself 3 weeks to complete it and still work full time.. haha karola

  83. Hey – if knitting were always sweet and agreeable, we’d be bored! Or do we just like the bad boys?

  84. Know what’s really funny? I just finished knitting a pair of socks for my husband. Hand-dyed, hand-spun, hand-knitted. BFL, shiny good. Took him years to realize these were a good thing and accept such. And, what’s funny? They are NOT exactly alike and he does not know it. Ha. Ha. Ha. THEY DON’T MATCH.

  85. Remember the wisdom advanced from March 23 in your 2009 Page-A-Day calendar:
    “You can take the knitting outside, place it in the road, and run it over with your car (YOUR NEW. RED. LOW. EMISSIONS. CAR!!!!) as many times as it takes to feel better.”
    This worked for me, in fact … last Monday, in fact. BEFORE I’d read my Page-A-Day….

  86. Dear Stephanie’s knitting:
    I have one word for you: MOTHS. Be nice or else.
    Love and many more happy rows of purls.
    Sheila
    Dear Stephanie:
    I knit the first scarf for the first person to emerge from the primordial ooze. I have both loved and hated yarn. I have cheated on knitting, indulging in (hangs head in shame) *MACROME*. I have left knitting for crochet but have always returned. We have tried knitting therapy, attending classes at our local yarn store but still knitting has remained taciturn, obtuse and often a real pill. Not for me the easy relationship of socks, no. I have a distructive attraction to the dramatic and complicated even though I know they will be the ruin of me in the end. And yet, after all these years together, there is still stuff I learn, joy I feel and love to share. Please, put the scissors down and remember that this is just a phase that knitting has to go through. With a bit of love, patience and time knitting will grow and leave the needles leaving you spent but satisfied that your work is done.
    Cheers,
    Sheila

  87. Dear Knitting:
    Spring is almost here, and the squirrels have come out to play.
    Behave yourself, or I leave you on the back deck overnight. Don’t worry about the needles; I can always use them as picks for cocktail weenies.
    Love and lots of agitation,
    The Y.H.

  88. I’m feeling a bit like that with my knitting right now! I HATE doing bands, even offered to teach my 21 year old son to knit just so he could do them for me……then again, it may be just quicker to do them myself ……and we will both be still alive at the end of it!!!??
    CHeers, Barbie

  89. I find that when my knitting is behaving particularly badly, it’s sent to it’s basket (without supper) until learns to cooperate, have a better attitude, and behave properly. When that doesn’t work I wad it up and throw it violently against a wall. I find that helps keep it in line and gives it an attitude adjustment. It’s so sad when good knitting goes bad, sometimes it just takes a little tough love.

  90. It’s that shawl again, isn’t it; that pesky Estonian lace shawl? It tried to tell you it was no good several times before. You must recall the serial frogging, the mysterious smutted area and general reluctance to be. Those of us that love you told you to give up on it, relax into the arms of colour and texture until it all got better. Now it’s given you insomnia. Stop. It’s got jealous, what with the BSG sock (s?) and your sister’s zzzzzz finished at last. You need to get tough NOW. Show it your wips and zzzzzs, shut it up with them for a few days, opening the door just a tad occasionally to let the odour of new yarn drift in. Let it know it’s not safe, then give it one last chance, and then, if it continues to be so irksome, yes, put it out for those squirrels! (suggested above) First you could show it the instruments: a crochet hook or two, scissors of course, a tatting thingy, a rug hook, a book on felting, patchwork templates, and mutter a bit, within its hearing, about changing direction, multi-crafting, it being nearly Spring so you don’t need another shawl……… Then the squirrels.

  91. It’s that pesky shawl again, isn’t it, that Estonian lace thing? You were warned: that serial frogging, the mysterious smutty patch, the general reluctance of the item to BE. Those of us that love you begged you to stop, to fall into the calming arms of colour and texture. Now it has given you insomnia. It’s jealous, of the BSG sock (s?), the lovely zzzzzzzing sweater you finished, and it’s having a tantrum. Get tough NOW. Open the closet, show it the wips and zzzzzzzs, and shut it in. Open the door occasionally to let the odour of new yarn float in. After it has kicked its heels for a few days, take it out and give it one last chance; if it doesn’t come good, yes, put it out for the squirrels! (as suggested above) You could show it the instruments first: a few crochet hooks, scissors of course, a tatting thingy, a book on felting, some patchwork templates, and let it hear you mutter about being time to change direction, multi-craft, take up lace-making, and anyway who needs another scarf in Spring. Then the squirrels.

  92. Sorry, sorry, posting glitch. Lost it, rewrote it, still wouldn’t post, then whooosh, 3 came along together. Sorry

  93. it;s the shawl, isn’t it??!!!! I can tell. My shawl project and I are currently not speaking to each other. Go knit a sock or something, and let it stew for a while. Sympathy, sister.

  94. My knitting and I have been known to seperate from time to time. We have even taken seperate vacations.

  95. Having a bit of trouble are we now?! Hope this one doesn’t involve a trip to the frog pond!! Remember the knitters’ chant…”I just loooove to knit! I just loooove to knit! I just l-o-v-e to knit!” Helps if you have a stiff smile on your face as you chant this through your teeth πŸ˜‰

  96. Dear Yarn Harlot,
    I will stop being a TRY NOT TO BE SUCH A COLOSSAL PAIN IN THE ASS if you try to do the following:
    1. Knit more socks and less sweaters
    2. Post more embarrassing stories about your children
    3.Dig around in the stash more often. There is good yarn in here!
    That is all.
    Hope it starts cooperating soon,
    kimber

  97. Dear Knitting:
    Of all the partners you could have chosen to share your life with, do you realize how lucky you are to have Stephanie? She’s a star in the knitting world! There are lots of other shawls, socks, sweaters and scarves who would love to be sitting on a sofa with her and she’s chosen you! So start behaving. Even the most committed of knitters has a breaking point … and you can be replaced!

  98. Maybe insomnia and lace knitting do not make for a good fit?
    Maybe a good yoga session would be helpfull; I’ll do yoga and see if it helps you.

  99. insomnia! ah yes, let us talk of that. Like not just sleeping only a little. Like not sleeping AT ALL last night. Saw the sun rise. Saw the shoulder of my shrug go crazy. Put it down. Well, up. I was down stairs and it stayed up in the bedroom. However, the baby washcloths out of 100% cotton are working up nicely. Have a baby shower in three weeks and I want a whole set for her. now of course, those will have to do something since I said they were all behaving.
    Good luck with it all!!

  100. I think it’s clear that your knitting knows this is an empty threat. After all, would you really give it up?

  101. LOL! Must be that shawl acting out again.
    Toss it in the UFO box, pour a glass of wine, or may Screech is called for at this point? cast on a pair of plain vanilla socks and breathe.

  102. To paraphrase your 2009 calendar, perhaps it needs to be stabbed through it’s knitterly heart and buried under an oak tree? (Especially if it’s still that shawl!)

  103. Had to do the same thing to the Snowdrop Shawl I was making. 17 times I started that thing, and it wouldn’t grow. I declared the yarn “naughty” and threw it in the “naughty yarn pile” and had to go out and buy new stuff. Couldn’t leave it any longer as my friend’s wedding is in 3 months.

  104. Maybe if you threaten to give it to the cat it’ll cooperate. Especially if it’s the white shawl. White yarn and black cat don’t mix well. Either that or leave it out for the squirrel to get. Or, if you want an easy solution, hide it somewhere you’ll never think to look again and then go and do something else for a while.
    I hope your knitting starts cooperating again soon.

  105. Stepanie, As a full time textile junkie, & fan of most things humorous & british on TV, I caught “YOUR” Graeme Norton show last night in Australia – go girl, we are getting out there, I’ll keep an eye out for you on Nat’l TV! How on earth do you keep up with all these comments.

  106. Yes, yes, it happened. I say on here that the baby wash cloths are going well and then after knitting just three rows of 24 stitches each, I have to rip out the third row because it is WRONG!! I’ll never learn to be quite, will I?

  107. Ah, more proof (as if there were a question)of how YOU are a KNITTER and I am a *knitter*: yesterday I was making a preemie cap (well, yeah, so it’s number 47 or something) and I used another color for two rows of seed stitch. I am here to tell you, it was UGLY! So I says to myself, “easy peasy – just pull out that odd extra color”. DEAR Yarn Harlot, I got a start, pulling it out with a crochet hook. Then I put a yarn needle on it to just poke back and pull it out. THEN (sigh) I decided to just cut out the Offending Bits…..even that was taking too long, and (I’m whispering here) Lawsy Mercy I — took it into the bathroom and THREW IT AWAY in the paper-towel wastebasket! It was a public knit-in and I lost patience with it, dispensed with it – and nobly Carried On with my toque on needles! (I also cast on another preemie cap, called it by the same name as the Discarded Wretch and have finished it. I *should* feel guilty — but I don’t. It wasn’t very far along; it was VERY inexpensive acrylic yarn; it was on needles I needed for something else…did I mention that I hold the State Honors Award for Rationalization?

  108. Your knitting, too???? And here I thought it was just my knitting!!!
    Katherine

  109. Ah, we are twins. I am married 36 years as well. Let me tell you a secret I have discovered. My other half can always be a pain in the ass. That never goes away, but I guess that I am a pain in the ass to him. At least he puts up with my knitting and my huge stash, so I can’t complain.
    Karin πŸ˜‰

  110. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it is exactly at these sorts of times that you need to sit with your knitting and listen to Steve Madewell’s “Wrapped inside your love” (link provided to music and lyrics)
    http://www.madewellmusic.com/music-22.html
    it just makes the misery much less miserable, you and your knitting can go have a good cry and a big hug and all will be well!
    really!

  111. having just frogged and cast on my Maplewing shawl(ALL 600 STITCHES) for the FOURTH time without getting past the 2nd row – I feel your pain and share it. Take a deep breath, have some chocolate and a glass (or three) of merlot, and it will all be better. There, there

  112. May I forward this to the sock I’m working on right now? It’s only my third sock ever and my first non-worsted-weight sock, and I’ve about decided that k1p1 ribbing on fine dpns with fine yarn is the invention of the devil himself. And I don’t even believe in a devil.

  113. Steph,
    I love and cherish you too.
    That being said, I enjoy the extra time you spend with me when you have to frog me. That is just what I need, kind of like a good back rub.
    Pain makes us grow together love, and together we shall stay.
    Love always,
    Knitting

  114. I felt the same way this week. Started a February Lady Sweater and ripped back the garter raglan 5 times because some demons were moving my stitch markers when I wasn’t looking. Finally on to the body.
    But, I do see better times ahead for all of us and our relationships with our knitting.
    P.S. – I was cheered up by the receipt of my RSK package yesterday afternoon. Can’t wait to get started – Just beautiful, Steph.

  115. Oh – this was so ME in February and most of March. But now – I’m all excited about knitting again.
    I’m so fickle.

  116. Uhmm, will you just please open your dresser and your sock drawer and pull out ALL the wonderful stuff you’ve made, and for crying out loud look how happy you made your sister with that gorgeous sweater??
    This better be good once you reveal what the issue is!

  117. poor dear, I know exactly how you feel – I have now cast on – and frogged – Anne Hanson’s maplewing shawl (ALL 600 – yes 600) stitches 4 times without making it past the 2nd row. and Anne’s patterns are usually so clear and easy for me to follow. My prescription would involve lots of chocolate and several bottles of merlot – and a good massage wouldn’t hurt either.

  118. you pack 4 DAYS ahead? wow, i’m lucky if i’m packed 4 hours ahead . . most times it’s more like 4 minutes.
    except for the knitting; that i do give some thought to and that bag gets packed first (but never 4 days ahead; i WISH)

  119. I was fixing to write such a letter myself when the baby blanket I worked so hard on grew to adult proportions (can i get a witness up in here?!). Then I realized that this baby blanket was going to last my darling for many many years!! So take that Knitting!! Yeah! I meant to make a super huge blanket!! Yeah!

Comments are closed.