Splash

Four days ago, I stuck up my head from the mess that is my current sweater and thought, you know what I need? A nice pair of socks on the needles. I’ve always got a plain pair chugging along, I keep it in my bag and whip it out when I’m standing, walking or waiting, but I like to have a fancy pair going too, just for knitters interest.

With Viper Pilots done, there was space in the queue, so I snagged Janel’s book of the shelf, picked a sock and dove into the sock yarn stash.

I came up with the Niagara pattern and some very pretty sock yarn from Red Rocks Fiberworks (It’s Snowmass) and charged ahead. What follows is a transcript of what happened since then.

Day One

Damn. This is pretty sock yarn. Damn. This is a pretty pattern. I know! I’ll put them together and have a damn pretty sock.

Day One: moments later.

This sock yarn is a little fine for this pattern. Hmm. This might not work. I think that I shouldn’t start these socks because this is a really bad combo. I’ll think about that while I keep winding.

Later:

I think I really screwed up here. This pattern calls for larger than average gauge. This yarn is thinner than average. I think that making gauge is going to be a problem that I can’t solve. I think I should frog them. I’ll think about that while I cast on.

Later:

I was so right. This sock looks like the dogs breakfast. I think I should frog them. I think I’ll try going up a needle size and keep knitting.

Later:

Bloody wing of moth. This is terrible. The gauge is super loose. If these socks fit they are going to be worn through in less time than it takes a hummingbird to think about flowers. I think I should frog them. I’ll start the second repeat of the pattern while I think about that.

Later:

This is terrible. These aren’t going to fit. They’re huge. I think I should frog them. I think that while I keep knitting, I’ll try to pretend the person I’m making them for has huge feet.

Froggedsocks2204

Day Two

I think these socks got bigger and looser in the night, they aren’t going to work out and I should frog them. Some people have really huge calves though. I could find a person with legs like tree trunks. I think I’ll think about how huge calves can be while I keep knitting.

Later:

I bet Sumo wrestlers have big calves.

Later:

Do Sumo wrestlers wear turquoise lace socks?

Later:

I should frog these. I don’t know any really big cross-dressing Sumo wrestlers. I think I’ll keep knitting while I wonder what do do about this. After all.. I’m at the heel.

Day Three

I should frog these socks, but if I go down a needle size now that I’m at the heel, then these might fit an average size cross-dressing Sumo wrestler.

Later:

I should frog these. I don’t know any average size cross-dressing Sumo wrestlers.

Later:

These really need to be frogged, but it would be a shame now that I’m almost finished the heel – besides, I shouldn’t rip in the heat of the moment like that. I wouldn’t want to be hasty.

Later:

Now that I have the gusset stitches picked up these are really big. Also, there’s no denying that not only is my gauge off, but that you really shouldn’t be able to see the TV through two layers of knitting. I should really frog them. They look like fishnet stockings. Maybe they’ll get better if I keep going.

Later:

Really loose fishnet stockings. I should really frog these. These socks are not socks. Lacy ski- boot cozies maybe, but not socks. I’m almost done the gussets though. I wouldn’t want to waste all that work.

Day Four:



There is absolutely no chance that these socks are going to work. They are terrible. They don’t fit, I didn’t get gauge, I paid no attention to the yarn the pattern recommended and I have chosen the wrong yarn. These are wrong. These should not be knit. I can’t allow this to go on for a second longer. I can’t believe that I’m halfway down the foot and it’s just now that I’m noticing all this. What a waste of time. I wish it had occurred to me that I should frog these before now. I have just got to pay more attention to my knitting.

189 thoughts on “Splash

  1. I especially love the argument about not wanting to waste the time you already have invested in the project, when you know full well that the only possible outcome will be to frog them. Been there, done that! It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one…

  2. Sorry about that, but remember this: You are not alone.
    There are many, including myself who have carried on regardless of what our Inner Knitter tells us.
    I just want to know why do we do such things?

  3. Find someone with some severe cankles. You know what I mean, there’s no difference between their calf and their ankle….

  4. I have just arrived at the collar for the Sweater Girl jumper by Sublime with one ball of yarn left. I know it’s not going to be enough, but I just have to keep knitting until I reach the end of the ball. I sure hope I can get some more. It’s been a lot of knitting to get this far. I know exactly how you feel.

  5. Sorry about that, but remember this: You are not alone.
    There are many, including myself who have carried on regardless of what our Inner Knitter tells us.
    I just want to know why do we do such things?

  6. Sorry about that, but remember this: You are not alone.
    There are many, including myself who have carried on regardless of what our Inner Knitter tells us.
    I just want to know why do we do such things?

  7. I have just arrived at the collar for the Sweater Girl jumper by Sublime with one ball of yarn left. I know it’s not going to be enough, but I just have to keep knitting until I reach the end of the ball. I sure hope I can get some more. It’s been a lot of knitting to get this far. I know exactly how you feel.

  8. I remember when I decided that FROGGING was not a “bad” thing…because I love knitting and that just meant I’d get to do it again…. I was knitting felted slippers and had reknit the soles 4 times.

  9. I especially love the argument about not wanting to waste the time you already have invested in the project, when you know full well that the only possible outcome will be to frog them. Been there, done that! It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one…

  10. If you knit it, it will fit. Or not. But I believe you’re not a true knitter if you don’t knit in denial from time to time.

  11. Uhh, totally been there. I’ve been saving Janel’s book for that time, sometime in the future, when I’ll be able to concentrate on a sock pattern–written by someone else– again. Last night? Minor league ball game, extremely boring sock pattern (my own) that I keep reknitting. At least I have a lot of ankle length socks now. They even appear to match…
    Oh, and what’s that about “cankles?” I thought I wrote about cankles (and my infant nephew) first? Now I hear it’s really a word other people use too?!

  12. But sometimes you’ve just got to say “what the hell”…or “dang the torpedos and full knit ahead”…
    or better yet: “Rumors of my frogging the socks were greatly exaggerated…”

  13. Process, not product, right? The process must have been serving some purpose for you? That’s how I rationalize those experiences–and there have been a few!

  14. I believe it was Sensei Bonne Marie Burns who said “If it seems hinky, it is hinky.”

  15. Perhaps you could finish the sock, line it with something, and make a lacy turquoise sock-shaped purse? Perhaps a fancy Christmas stocking?
    I love Janel’s book. Rivendell was to DIE for, but I like the see-through ones even better…I think they are called Monterrey…I use them for my summer slipper socks. (Socks with built in ventilation! How clever!)

  16. Day four left us in suspense……did you frog them or are the big lacy sox finished now? Maybe if you do the second one of the pair too, the problems will magically disappear!?

  17. OMG, I was laughing so hard I was crying because I have been in this exact position and thought the exact same thing. Thanks for the laughter and camaraderie!

  18. Go ahead and cast on the second sock – I bet that one will fit better…. or you can felt them…
    *giggle, giggle*

  19. You have to make a decision. Do you want to KNIT a sock or do you want to PRODUCE a sock?
    If you want to knit a sock, keep going. Worry about what to do with a lace Christmas stocking later.
    If you want to PRODUCE a wearable-by-you sock… well, you already know what to do. You’ve thought about it at least every thirty minutes for the last few days!

  20. It wouldn’t be so funny if I hadn’t done the exact same thing, multiple times. Sometimes you just have to keep knitting while you think about why your knitting isn’t working.

  21. You were just swatching to see how you liked the pattern, right? Maybe at the back of your mind you were thinking it would make a nice Christmas stocking, because you know that the loose gauge would allow people to fit more goodies into your stocking. Sounds pausible, doesn’t it?

  22. Bottom Line: do you love these huge socks enough to keep going and mount them on the wall as a decoration, or would you rather have the yarn?

  23. You were just swatching to see how you liked the pattern, right? Maybe at the back of your mind you were thinking it would make a nice Christmas stocking, because you know that the loose gauge would allow people to fit more goodies into your stocking. Sounds pausible, doesn’t it?

  24. Like Tammy, I have the calves of a East German track star. So someone will be able to wear them and you’re having a great time, so why stop now!?!
    Rationalization #4323a, courtesy of Jane in Chlly Hollow

  25. You know people who don’t walk on their feet, so they won’t wear them out. If the foot is the right size, then, perfect!

  26. Ah, Denial. That river moved from Egypt over to Canada, didn’t it?
    That said, I have thick calves, a size 10AA foot and I can’t knit socks so . . .

  27. I hereby volunteer to mudwrestle Tammy and Jane and any other takers for the privilege of wearing those socks on my Sum0-esque legs. Or if you’re not into mud wrestling, how about a donation to MSF???
    (Yes, I am shameless. But shameless for a good cause is still good. Right?)

  28. Steph, just do what I do. Enjoy the knitting then find a person who they will fit. That person will love getting the socks since none of their knitters want to make socks for such huge calves. There are some of us who are reasonably normal sized with sumo-wrestler sized calves.

  29. You’re so global – you’ve coined a word in the NYT, and Greg Kinnear is quoted as naming you “the Michael Jordan of knitting” … and you don’t know any average sized cross-dressing sumo wrestlers??? C’mon!!
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. That says a lot for Janel’s pattern, though!
    Don’t feel too badly. I cast on for 64 stitch socks yesterday and somehow in my head, 21 stitches per needle (4 needles) added up to 64. I was ten rows past the picot hem before I realized that I can’t add.

  31. Ya know, as much as it sucks that you have to rip them out, it’s nice to see that there someone who I see as a very accomplished knitter still donig the same silly things as me.

  32. worse than that, be the knitting instructor who suggested to student that the tension seemed a bit loose and student pleaded to continue with sock only to have to come in and watch me undo a weeks work of work. (It was my fault you see…!)

  33. Ah, thank you for that!
    I had an awful day, (thankfully over by now here in Europe), but now I can go to bed without having to weep into my pillow. Thank you.

  34. Thank God I’m not the only one who does this! I spent 3 days knitting a skirt when I knew the chart was wrong, but thought perhaps it was just my inexperience and maybe it would still turn out right. Wrong-I frogged the entire chart portion.

  35. And yet….I notice you did not actually say that you HAD frogged them, so I remain unconvinced. I shall expect a photo of the completed sock tomorrow.
    If you hadn’t done a heel, you could have turned it into a wine bottle cozy. That would be easier to find than an average sized sumo wrestler with cankles.
    You should have swatched.
    just sayin’

  36. I’m with Mary Jane. I seem to sometimes knit for the pleasure of it and then pass my project on to someone it will fit. They will never know I didn’t plan it for them in the first place! I’m now knitting my first ever sweater (a February Lady sweater started in March probably finished in June!) and I fear as I look at it will not fit me even though the gauge matches the pattern exactly. Maybe I don’t fit the gauge!

  37. It’s quite possible that there are BAD wool fumes eminating from your sweater.Just sayin’…

  38. As soon as you frog them, you’ll meet the nicest cross-dressing Sumo wrestler who’s favorite color is turquoise. Sad, sad, sad. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  39. You poor thing, sock/pattern disproportion always stinks.You’ll find the perfect pattern for your yarn and it will be beautiful.

  40. Maybe the socks could go with the felted vest I knit last fall, the one that turned out to be the size of a sumo wrestler (I am 5’2″). Please let me know if you find a sumo wrestler who is cold and could use a very nice felted vest in gray Cascade Pastazzo.

  41. Unless it’s superwash yarn, felt the socks. That’s what I do when my gage is out of whack.

  42. I like that you’re taking the “document your issues and interactions with [problem causer] before confronting the issue” approach. That’s proactivity.
    Also a reminder: gague is a lying liar that does nothing but lie. Swatching would have been useless.
    But… Aren’t Tuesdays for spinning?

  43. I HAVE GIANT TREE TRUNK LEGS! And I am female and not a cross dressing sumo wrestler. I do, however have very tiny size 6 feet. Ask me how proportional THAT looks. Anyway…I think we are a match made in heaven, your giant socks and me.

  44. Beautiful yarn, though. The color alone is worth frogging a sock. or two. Not that I’ve ever knitted way beyond when I should’ve quit just because I was enjoying the process. Not. ever. Never.

  45. Denial. It can carry you just so far before it dumps you on the dung heap of reality.
    You’ll recover. You always do.

  46. Wine bottle cozy!! Or if they are too small for that, an Ipod cozy – I discovered an ill fitting sock is just perfect for an Ipod. Keeps the cat from eating the earbuds (but that’s another story).

  47. I noticed that you said “frog” before YOU HAD EVEN FINISHED WINDING! Only the Yarn Harlot, LOL!
    Look at it this way….you did it for blog fodder…you wanted to amuse us.
    Thanks for the chuckle, now back to clearing out the dusty room (aaaahhhhchoo!)

  48. Love it! Been there, done that! So. . .they sound sort of pretty. Where’s the picture?

  49. I’m too slow. I came to say this:
    “As soon as you frog them, you’ll meet the nicest cross-dressing Sumo wrestler who’s favorite color is turquoise. Sad, sad, sad. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Posted by: Christie at April 22, 2009 4:16 PM”
    Darn you, Christie, and your lightning-like typing reflexes!!!

  50. SKI BOOT COZIES!!!!! I just laughed my gluteus off. Not two minutes ago I finished a pair of socks (yes I own 10 entire needles , so no second sock syndrome) and I had to kitchener carefully because I only had 4 inches of yarn remaining.

  51. Wow! You are describing my entire day yesterday, only substitute a lace scarf for your socks. Wrong number cast-on. Pattern difficulty. Hating the gauge I was getting. Changing yarns and trying it again. Hating variegated yarn…. all the while my head is saying “stop this, you’re wasting time, go work on the other 10 projects you got started.”
    Today, I rip the scarf out. Ugh!

  52. Hey– I’ve got Eddie Izzard on Twitter– he’s got good legs but he’s still a pretty muscular guy, and I bet he’d LOVE a pair of turquoise lace socks.. *giggle*
    Sorry… you’re just so brave to frog things… I would have to stow them in my “UFS Bag” for a year before I went back… (Un-Finished Sock bag–you’d be surprised how full it is…)

  53. Now I’m scared-knitting a shawl and didn’t check gauge as I figured it would be just fine. Aack-although I am glad I am not the only one in this sort of a predicament. Good luck!

  54. First time writing to you! I first knit the Niagara socks on size 1 needles w/Regia bamboo (30 st=4 in on US 2-3)–for my mom who has US size 6 feet-came out fine once I pulled out the heel flap and made the traditional k1,s1 flap– but too small for my size 9’s! Now knitting them on size 2 needles in “On Your Toes” Bamboo (7 sts=1 inch on US 3),and decided to do them just as instructed, they certainly are wide!! Also knit the Rivendell socks last summer and although the patterns are beautiful and original,I find all the leg lengths too short!! Had to add on to the Rivendell’s!

  55. For frogging that is just too painful–draft help, in the form of family members who would _love_ the excuse to _legally_ pull apart Mom’s knitting project ;)! The only trick is getting them to wind it into a realtively tidy ball as they go, so it’s ready to put back on your ballwinder when you’ve forgiven it and are ready to deal with it again… Good luck, randmknitter

  56. Certainly hoping the denial mojo isn’t contagious … I’m ~6 inches into a cardigan for my dad that I was planning on blocking (on the needles) tonight in order to check the size.
    Perhaps my over-anxiety on this score caused your sure-seems-wrong-but-I’m-still-knitting mishap?
    Lovely yarn in any case.

  57. Here’s a solution: Without frogging the first sock, find another yarn more in keeping with the pattern weight/gauge recommendation and cast on. Knit a few rows and compare the two. Of course, if this doesn’t appeal to you, the lovely blue ones may fit Madame Maxime.

  58. Wait, wait, wait! You forgot FELTING! That’s what I always tell myself anyway, when my socks in progress look too big: “Oh, it’s fine. They’ll felt in the wash!” I even say it about superwash, because you never really know with superwash do you – and you handwash them anyway, right? There must be a reason for all that distrust. So anyway, long story short – keep on knittin’!

  59. i just frogged and entire shawl.. i had dyed the cashmere/silk, and spun it. then knit the whole darned thing; and from the very beginning i was thinking: i’m not getting gauge. this is going to be way too small.
    i don’t know what happened to my brain. i think it leaked out of my ears in the night.

  60. I thought it was just me. I have done this more than once, and never thought to cast it as amusing. Thank you SO much for that little confession. I absolve us both.

  61. I thought it was just me. I have done this more than I care to remember, and never thought to cast it as amusing. Thank you SO much for that little confession. I absolve us both.

  62. Oh, hilarious and sad too. Why don’t I listen to myself and keep knitting when I have to STOP.
    How did you get inside my head? ๐Ÿ™‚

  63. Okay, you almost made me pee my pants. You have made the whole process of denial just too funny. I promise, I wasn’t laughing at you, just at your description. Alright, I was laughing at you a little. And I have done the very same denial thing, so I apologise. Why is it that we keep on knitting when we know full well that something is terribly wrong and we should frog? My brain seems to think that if I just do a few more rows, somehow the mess that has already happened will all sort itself out, or be cured, or not show.

  64. We all understand. But really, you have to let the sock go. Let it go.
    Frog your sock. As quickly as is possible, like ripping off a band-aid.

  65. Consider it a practice sock. One you needed to complete for some karmic reason. And remember:
    1. good yarn is meant to be knit more than once.
    2. You Are Not Alone.

  66. Thoughts to consider [none of which will be news to you!]:
    * this is supposed to be your MINDLESS, RELAXING knitting project, right?!?
    * remember how very pretty the ball of yarn was as a BALL OF YARN–even frogging is not without its rewards, as you would be recovering said treasure for redeployment!
    * lace Christmas stocking–that was a great suggestion as a realistic middle ground between What One Hopes and What Is Actually Possible…
    Thanks for reminding us of one of the key ways we get ourselves mired in the Slough of Despond over non-working projects…ruthless honesty, People! The end results (socks that will actually fit humans we know, and mental/emotional satisfaction) will be worth the temporary pain and disappointment…Yes. Courage, all!

  67. Oh, do not rip! Here are some ideas:
    1. Joe needs socks right? And Halloween is only 6 months away. Maybe they could be part of his costume.
    2. You have Amazon-goddess sized friends, and you travel the world. Certainly they will fit someone.
    3. Maybe they will full, if not felt.
    4. They are meant to be a new trend – outer socks, to be worn over inner socks (the ones that fit). Yes, I think I see a book idea developing out of this… knitting the liner and the lace oversock. Very chic!

  68. Make the other one. Go ahead. Maybe it’ll all work out.
    Just remember to take lots of pictures while you’re doing it.

  69. Oh dear … it’s like looking in the mirror. I have cast on some socks intended for an elderly male friend, in aran-weight homespun, and have a terrible feeling they might end up like your current sock. The friend is too old to learn sumo wrestling and develop his calves … I might just take your advice and frog. Thanks for the warning!!!

  70. if it helps i do have calfs like a sumo wrestler, you could say you made them for me all along.
    or you could add a white bow & knitted snowflake to the top and say you’re started knitting christmas stockings early.

  71. I am really curious as to how many pairs of socks you make in a year? Have you ever kept track? I can count the number of socks I have made on both hands – not a fan of making socks – but a wanta be! I would love to know your numbers!

  72. I had you figured for a third day realist, but you got all the way to day 4. I’m disillusioned.
    Still, it could all work out….

  73. Oh well!!!! I have one skein of manos silk blend that has been knit to completion 3 times. The first 2 times, I kept knitting against all odds and decided when I was finished to frog the whole project and start again. Now, in its 3rd incarnation, it is a Cat Bordhi Magical Moebius Cowl. It has survived in this state for 2 weeks, but I’m not guaranteeing it. I must be a process knitter. Also, the yarn must be darned good yarn to withstand the punishment. P.S. I was delighted to finally find someone who uses “impact” the way I do(see Twitter post).

  74. I think I have had a very similar conversation with some sock yarn lately.
    I frogged it.
    I am hopeful, but not sure.

  75. I have calves like small tree trunks, and I wear turquoise lace socks. Or, I would, if I had any.

  76. Is there something in the air in the eastern part of North America? I started a pair of socks last week from a lovely skein of yarn I bought at Loop in Philadelphia. The problem–the pattern went from 40 stitches at the ribbing to 86 stitches in the leg. The socks are meant for my petite daughter-in-law, yet I kept knitting several inches. The difference is that I frogged them and restarted with a different size of needle–two times! Guess what 86 stitches is still to big. This morning I gave up (I am back home on the West coast now and apparently I think clearer on my home turf), frogged the sock again (almost to heal this time) and restarted with a different pattern–65 stitches and much much better.

  77. Steph, (May I call you Steph?), I’m seriously thinking a garter stitch scarf in which gauge doesn’t matter- maybe one of those ones that you had fun knitting earlier this year.
    When the knitting mojo is out of whack the knitting gods must be appeased.

  78. Ain’t it a b*!ch when you have to correct your own errata? “I wouldn’t want to be hasty” Thanks for the laugh!

  79. Please send me those big socks.
    My feet are cold and my calves are as big as your arm.
    Finally, my (new) favorite color is green.
    Arigatou gozaimasu,

  80. Size 10 wide feet here, ankles and calves to match. You could have a drawing amongst those of us brave enough to admit that kind of personal info.

  81. That’s how I knit. But what I think I need more than the garment is the peace and lower blood pressure and calming influence of the soft clickety clack of the needles and the feel of the yarn pulling through my fingers. That’s why I can’t stop when I know I should.

  82. Finish the lacy turquoise huge sock. Find some coordinating fabric, lay it flat on a table, trace around the lacy sock, and sew the resultant shape together. Fit this inside the lacy sock, hand-sew around the top, and voila! One Xmas stocking!

  83. 4+ pitting edema of the ankles! Okay, kidding. They’re really purty, though. I can see why you paired the two together!

  84. oh thank you thank you! I was compelled to read this aloud to my husband to help him understand how I recently managed to make all the pieces of a sweater and begin sewing it together before admitting that it was completely awful (wrong yarn, didn’t get gauge, tried to pretend I could fudge it even though I could tell my fudges weren’t working) and frogging it.

  85. Oh no…I was so sure that if I scrolled down I’d see the finished sock fitting perfectly.

  86. Remember it is NOT the yarn’s fault. User error here. Yay, for the shout-out about Colorado Yarn indie dyers! Pick the right pattern and you will have very beautiful socks, indeed.

  87. Christmas Socks? Can you give them to someone who is into retro and has an aluminum tree with bright tourquise balls on it? It was all the rage when I was small. VERY small…It was a little scary though.

  88. I have those socks in pink!! Well, not exactly those, but big, lacy ski boot cozies… They sure are pretty, but they’ll never fit anyone other than my 16yo son. Maybe he’ll give in and just wear them. You think?

  89. Looks like you have something you could add to an MSF auction/fundraiser at SS09. Lots of folks out there are asking for them. So go ahead and knit the other one (provided you have sufficient yarn for the second sumo wrestler sized sock). They do look pretty even if the gauge is not on the planet.
    Why do knitters refuse to listen to their negative self talk when it’s about their knitting and listen actively to negative self talk about themselves?
    Must be too many voices running around in our heads.

  90. YH: Proper English is “have an impact”. It is not “impacted”. Teeth are impacted. Bad teeth. Don’t make me bite you.
    YES! Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my editor’s heart.
    (Also, the meteor impacts the earth; teachers do NOT impact students!) (Well, they may WANT to…..)

  91. Stephanie, you’re hilarious. I’ll tell you what: I have ankles and feet like a sumo wrestler. If you decide not to frog them, you can send them to me!

  92. Oops – just read through the comments and I see I am not alone in my sumo-wrestler-esque appendages (and not-so-subtle attempt to get something sent to me by the Yarn Harlot)!

  93. I had a similar experience with a sock a couple of weeks ago. It ended up being big enough for my husband, but it was pink. I thought about overdying it in blue, but couldn’t convince myself to do another one like it, so I frogged the offending sock, knit another pair (too small), finished my husband’s Christmas sweater (last Christmas) and am currently working on the second sock of the pair I had to frog.

  94. Actually, I feel pretty certain that just about any old sumo wrestler would wear them. Japanese dudes wear some of the girliest things. I’m just saying.

  95. I was trying the two circular needle method. I didn’t like it. After the sock sat around for 5 or so years, I switched it to 4 needles. I took it to Madrona to work on and then I knew that the yarn was just too fine for the needles. I didn’t want to frog after all those years, but then my friend told me that I would have one less UFO. And some lovely yarn to make socks with. Love it.

  96. The appropriate course of action is then to stick it in a bag in a dark corner and ignore it for six months and then take it out to see if it improved at all. It won’t do (at least my naughty projects have never done) but then you’ll be able to rip it without a moment’s hesitation.
    I ripped a heavily beaded piece of lace this week, so much work went into it but much much more was needed. I feel better about it now, most of the time.

  97. I’m in the exact same place at the moment! Halfway down the leg of the sock, telling myself the friend they’re for has big legs so it’s okay, planning on changing down a needle size at the heelโ€ฆ I’ve noticed a mistake that means ripping back 14 rounds anyway, so now I have the dilemma, do I just rip back all the way and do them properly this time?

  98. The thing I find most hilarious is that you thought you should frog them before you even cast on. Congrats for forward thinking. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  99. No rest for the wicked! I think we’ve all been there, done that but you come out the other side with a VHS tape cozy and all is right in the world. Sounds like you had a great EARTH DAY!

  100. Even worse denial is doing that while KNOWING that my desk is starting to sag under the weight of all the paperwork I am emotionally unable to cope with!
    At least with knitting we get a “do over” that’s relatively easy and painless. And we get to play with the pretty yarn longer. That’s got to be worth something, right?

  101. Or- you could (frog the sock,) go down a needle size or two, and add another pattern repeat to make the size you want.
    Having large feet, I have to do this a lot, as I almost never can get gauge and still have a nice firm fabric that will stand up to wear. (I also have a tendency to regard patterns more as vague general guidelines, but that’s a different issue…)
    The yarn is gorgeous and the pattern looks good in it, so it would be a pity if it got sent to time out!

  102. At least it’s just a sock. Plenty of people go through the exact same thing — this isn’t going to work, dog’s breakfast, it won’t fit — except it’s about a boyfriend. Then they start the second sock, which we call marriage.

  103. Hilarious! I was in knitter’s denial when knitting a top down sweater. I kept thinking, boy, this looks loose and HUGE. But I kept going. And going. And then the body of the sweater was done and in order for it to fit, not only would I have to gain 300 pounds, I’d also have to shrink about a foot. Yeah, it got frogged and the yarn is in the shame pile, waiting for redemption.

  104. >>Lacy ski- boot cozies maybe, but not socks.
    Congratulations, Stephanie, I believe you have just invented the Easter stocking.

  105. “I don’t know any really big cross-dressing Sumo wrestlers.”
    Possibly the funniest line I have ever read in a blog–I just laughed out loud (at work, and my job does not usually cause one to laugh out loud while staring at the computer)…and you should have warned me not to read that while I’m drinking coffee.
    Out-loud laughter, coffee, and computer equipment don’t go well together.

  106. I realized while reading this that knitting is very scientific, and fact based. Duh, right?
    The thing is, when I paint, you can fudge. You can keep going with the hope that it might turn out right in the end. In fact, some of my best paintings have been those that I “pressed on through” on when I wanted to crumple it up and toss in the towel. Pressing on through with knitting often causes more regret- because the facts are the facts… unless you have friends who range in size from midget to Sumo wrestler to absorb all the mistakes.
    Wouldn’t that be funny if a cross dressing sumo wrestler found you through the blog and told you he loved the socks?! ๐Ÿ™‚

  107. Oh, my heavens, this was funny – and still hurt to read. We’ve all been there.
    (BTW, have you heard from the cross-dressing Sumo wrestling community yet? Did anyone call dibs on the socks if you finished them?)

  108. Rippit, Rippit, Rippit! LOL I just had to frog a Pomatomus that I was so happy with, but I used a 1 instead of a 2 needle and I couldn’t get it over my heel! It hurt, but I felt better after I had it caked again. Now, a fresh start with the right needle, dammit!

  109. Ouch. I know I ignore gauge at my peril, but I am like this and figure it will fit someone. Luckily, I usually ignore the suggested needle size and say for my feet use a set of 0s and have done with it. I’ve been lucky so far, but I think it is great to have a reminder of what to expect if ignoring the gauge doesn’t work out. I’m just sorry that this refresher lesson had to happen to you!

  110. LOL – denial and the resulting loss of work happens to even the excellent, famous knitters that I admire.
    Now, I don’t feel so bad about frogging a Meida’s Sock halfway through the heel flap. I was fervently trying to ignore the fact that the yarn is crap and the pattern is not.
    Thank you. Really – THANK YOU. ๐Ÿ™‚

  111. Such a pretty yarn. Surely it needs to be on display. Knit the 1 sock, find a display frame and hang it on the wall as a tribute to beautiful yarn in a functional form. Sounds like art to me.

  112. Here’s something you could do– finish knitting both socks. Then get some flat ribbon in a matching or complimentary color. Then you could do a corset-laced thing on the back of the socks, where they go up the back of your ankle and calves. You wouldn’t lace it tight, of course, but enough so that they would be more form-fitting to your leg. If the foot portion was too big, you could do the same on the top of the foot (this is why flat ribbon is important). And you could run the ribbon over and under the top of the sock, if the top is too loose to stay on your leg, and use the ribbon to tie it on. Think a cute little bow at the back of your calves or at the side.
    Think of how sexy that would be– your beautiful turquoise lace socks, the lace pattern exposed by the barest amount of stretching with the smooth satin ribbon, crisscrossing up the back of your legs, and topped with a little bow.
    Damn. I want to make super huge lace socks now just so I can do this ribbon thing!

  113. My aunt has large calves and would proudly wear those socks. (She likes to cultivate knitting friends and relatives). Let me know if you want her address.

  114. I’d love to see a coffee table photo book of stupid things that have been knit in total denial. I have a couple of projects I’d be willing to donate to the book. (OK, more than a couple, but who’s counting?)

  115. My favorite sentence in here (and perhaps of all time): “Maybe it’ll get better if I keep going.”
    (Second favorite line: “less time than it takes a hummingbird to think about flowers. . .”)

  116. Strangely, I am a cross dressing sumo wrestler and can never find socks to fit. Bring it on!
    Joel ๐Ÿ™‚

  117. Which is why the nearly finished sweater in a lovely Tye-Dye cotton remains unfinished. I’m just not sure stripes across my (huge) boobs is a good way to go.
    What do you think?

  118. Oh, I love that I am not the only one on that river! I have been forcing Go With the Flow Socks (ironic no?) with a beautiful variegated yarn that worked itself in to an odd diagonal on the leg, a muddy mess on the heel and gusset and strange stripe on the foot. Oh yes, I am inches away from completing the first sock!!
    All along I have been trying to convince myself that it is funky.
    NO! It is hideous!
    I have pounds of yarn in my office that would look better with this lovely pattern and piles of patterns that would highlight the beauty of this yarn.
    Tonight I frog…
    Thank you!

  119. If the knit-fates decreed that these socks should turn out like this, then the knit-fates must have an owner in mind. This is a job for…
    the KNITTERS! With our collective power, nothing is beyond us!
    We must band together and find a cross-dressing Sumo wrestler with tree trunk legs who would enjoy wearing turquoise fishnet stockings. This person needs our help in finding their perfect socks, and the socks need our help in finding an owner!
    Well, now I know what I’m doing today. TO THE KNIT-CAVE to get on my BIKE-MOBILE! Onwards to start the search!

  120. frogin is always the best idea- but alas you keep forging on anyway!!

  121. Steph:
    Long time fan from Knitting Rules on. I’ve since collected all, and read the blog back to day one – more laughs and tears than I can count.
    First comments – after today’s post, I couldn’t resist. Just returned from vacation where I’d taken a beautiful, handpainted alpaca lace shawl (colorway very similar to today’s sock). During the knitting, finishing, blocking, it just wasn’t quite right, but the river (apparently flowing from Egypt to Canada to Pennsylvania) thought all will be well once it was put to use on a starlit beach in Mexico. Can one successfully frog blocked laceweight alpaca? I hope so.
    We’ll find out once I finish the current hiccup. You’d given me courage to branch out from slavishly following the written pattern (other than color choices), so your Snowdrop shawl seemed an appropriate choice. Minor tweaks – slightly larger and longer for those of us who aren’t quite your stature, which was easy. We Libras like balance, so thought extending your lace edging on all 3 sides would work well. I skipped the Icord, and started directly down one side and up the other, then across the top.
    Wasn’t until finishing side 3 that I saw the gigantic pucker at right top corner. Dithered for two nights, as the Patons Divine mohair blend used has a marked tendency to cement together immediately once a stitch is knit. After many deep cleansing breaths, I’ve started tinking (this stuff won’t rip). Not fun, but knew the blip would drive me insane. Those vibes you’ve been hearing of late is my muttering “if Stephanie can do it, I can do it.” Thank you!

  122. That happened to me this weekend, except that I was on a plane without many other choices, even once I’d realized that my beautiful yarn, knit up, looked like clown puke.
    (But maybe that’s just the cuff. Maybe, if I just continue down into the slowest-ever-to-knit-up-indecipherable pattern it will be better….)

  123. Ahh, Stephanie! There is just _no_ vacation like a trip down De Nial.
    Not, of course, because I don’t go there often myself!
    From the Sock-Shaped State,
    ==Marjorie

  124. Deary deary me…Larks! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I have big feet. And sumo calves. But I will not wear those things in that color. How about a nice blue? :p

  125. Your post could not be more timely. I just ripped out my lovely Belle Epoque turquoise sock last night.
    I am still slightly dizzy and sick to my stomach.

  126. Sorry, I’m still stuck on the whole cross-dressing sumo wrestler thing…
    I’ll think about being sympathetic while I reach for the brain bleach.

  127. Oh thank you. I needed this laugh in the worst way. I spent yesterday dealing with 2 to 3 inches of water in the finished side of my basement! Most everything down there is ruined and it ain’t real easy to laught right now. You at least got me smiling!!

  128. Sounds like those jealous knitters in the van who stole your circular needle have struck again….

  129. Wait! Don’t rip them! I know a really cool cross-dressing Sumo wrestler whose favorite color is turquoise. And he skis.

  130. Due to Lymphedema in my legs, I have large calves and ankles. Just a thought ๐Ÿ˜‰

  131. So. In wondering why I did not find this post funny, I realized I am doing exactly this ‘ignore the good suggestion’ game in an important area of my life. I wish it were about a sock!
    In the end? Thank you so much.

  132. Poor moth. “bloody wing of moth” ??? I’ve never heard that one before. I guess this whole episode can go into your next book. And the moth can eat the yarn to heal the bloody wing….. …

  133. oh – take a photo before you frog it!! We would love to see the finished product, even if it isn’t up to your standards. Either that – or finish the second one anyways — you never know when you might just run into one of those cross-dressin sumo wrestlers, and wouldn’t it be great to have on hand.
    or save them for a perfectly hideous gift for the boyfriend of your daughter that you really can’t stand but can’t come right out and throw him out in the snow.

  134. Why did my eyes see “I stuck up my head from the mess”, yet my mind thought “I stuck my head up my arse”?! I need a vacation.
    Lovely socks.

  135. So, you got away from that sweater for 3 days. Does it look better now? eh? That really is pretty sock yarn.

  136. Oh, I laughed til I cried. I did the same thing last week — just change the color in your photo to a lovely deep red. I finally gave up after the gusset. Lacy, huge, deep red.

  137. Stephanie: I think you are the master of self-delusion! Thanks for the giggle!

  138. Apparently, the purpose of the socks (giggle) was to provide (tee hee) your readers the storyline (snork) for a hysterically funny (guffaw) blog post…
    Just so you know, it worked perfectly in my case!

  139. Bless you for finally giving me a good hard laugh today. I really needed one.
    …of course, now I’m faced with the Fact that the socks I’m working on right now are too big for the kid I’m (allegedly) making them for…although perhaps that’s one of those intentional mistakes because the yarn is super-pretty and would look better on someone ELSE, like, uh, ME…

  140. I am currently working on a pair of socks, knowing I don’t have enough yarn to make them match, wool socks with soya blend toes in three different colours. I nearly f-worded them, but a kid, sitting next to me on the bus while I was knitting, told her mother she liked them.
    By the way, have you seen this? http://www.p-hop.co.uk
    It’s a wonderful thing, and I bet you inspired it.

  141. Stephanie, I can’t tell you how hilarious this post is. This is totally my normal thought process with anything that I do, so I am very comforted in knowing the such experienced knitters such as yourself have the same issues.
    BTW – cross-dressing sumo wrestlers are not the only people on earth with big calves. I have big calves and this is actually the only thing preventing me from finishing my first pair of socks (you know, the ones that I showed you the last time you were in Chicago and you took a picture of and put it on your blog…those socks…) because I keep thinking that I need to increase as I do the calf but I don’t want to increase too much…that and the fact that I could have knit the foot portion about 5 more rows before beginning the heel and I should have done some more increasing before I did the heel, but they at least fit. Except for the calf part.

  142. All I have to say is if you don’t frog today, it will make a particularly lovely lace Christmas stocking.

  143. You are like the Oprah of knitting things. You mention the sock yarn brand and it sells out in minutes. They must love you and feel like they won the lottery when you endorse their product.

  144. I totally tried to knit those very same socks in Jojoland Melody and had the same issue that it was too thin. I kept telling myself it would be ok until I got through the heel and realized that heel would wear through so fast it wasn’t even funny. I just pulled the needles out and shoved it to the bottom of the basket. It is a fun pattern though. I think it just needs a thicker yarn. Good luck!

  145. I laughed when I read the blog about the socks – been there,knit it, frogged it. Try finishing the wretchred things then throw them into the washing machine – a hot wash – they might shrink, with a bit of luck. And at least it would make you feel better. Good Luck!

  146. Thanks of the insult to people who have large legs. You just aren’t that funny as you think you are.

  147. Poser! You aren’t really in denial. If you were, you’d WEAR the Big Socks.
    Kinda like the pair I have on right now.
    You get used to it after a while.

  148. May I refer you sweet Stephanie to your own calendar date April 24th. “There has got to be something up with yarn shops. Everything always seems so possible there. I just picked up a pattern and some yarn to knit it that are pretty much unrelated to each other, and I can’t even explain what I was thinking. While I was in the shop I was quite convinced that even though I failed grade ten math three times, I would somehow be able to rewrite the pattern to make this yarn work. Now I’ve been sitting here with a calculator and some bizarre scribbles on graph paper, and I think someone should really research wool fumes and figure out what comes over us to make us think all things are possible in a yarn shop. Quickly. Before I hurt myself.” See….that’s the problem with writing stuff down, it always comes back to haunt you. Also, apparently those troublesome fumes follow you home and lodge themselves in you stash! The research should start soon!

  149. Steph, I want to hug you! I have never laughed so hard! That blog will keep me smiling for days! Thank you

  150. Ahh, I have the opposite problem. As soon as I see a gauge problem, an error, or any other issue with my knitting, I look at it, decide I should just keep knitting but then stop the project…for several years. By the time I return to the project, my knitting tension has changed and I need to frog the project.

  151. Please forgive my ignorance, and tell me–what is frogging?
    Also, a suggestion: being an internist, I see many people every day with massively swollen feet. Usually because of heart failure. These socks could be a fabulous gift for one of them. Maybe you could covertly drop them off at your local hospital’s cardiac care unit…

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