I have a terrible confession to make, or, I guess what I mean is that I think you’re going to think it was terrible, but it really wasn’t. I figure I should tell you because you’re probably going to find out anyway. The truth is, I’ve had an affair. No – nix that. Not an affair. I had… an experience. An… interval. An episode. Maybe I was drinking. I don’t remember – and no matter what anyone says, I didn’t plan it. I was minding my own business at knit night (and see? That’s the first sign that it wasn’t my fault. KNIT night. You don’t expect to be blindsided there) when Denny gave me a loom. (See that too? It’s not like I went looking for it. I was sitting there, minding my own business and whammo. This Schacht Cricket loom jumps on my lap and … wait! It’s Beth’s fault ! She’s the one who sent the loom with Denny to give to me and the two of them planned it and I… I was just sitting there.
Now, I might have stood a chance, but the thing was just so… ready. It was already assembled, its bobbins were full – for crying out loud… it was warped already. It sat there, just so simple, so straightforward, and I fell down. I thought it was going to be innocent. I thought we were just going to hang out, you know? I thought that it was really ok. You know, I thought that it didn’t matter if I just talked to some other yarncraft. I’m in the yarn industry, you know? I was just going to hang out a bit, see what this weaving thing was all about. I threw the shuttle a few times, and…
The next thing I knew, we were at home together, and I was weaving and weaving. The shuttle went back and forth and I beat every row with the heddle and, heaven help me, when I ran out of yarn I went and got more and….
and I ripped back that huge sock and wound the yarn on the bobbin and…
I made a scarf.
It was the loom’s fault. It’s just so easy, and … fast.. and it uses up a lot of yarn quickly… really quickly – I mean, I used up that whole ball of sock yarn in a couple of hours and Knitting, you have to admit it, you and I have never been able to get it together for a “quickie”.
I’m not saying that’s wrong, I mean, there are other things that we have, things that are more important than speed. We have intimacy, and history and … well, I’m not going to pretend that there haven’t been problems. It was hard for me to get over that time that you thought it would be funny to mess up the hat the night before Christmas, but hell. Every craft makes mistakes and I don’t hold it against you. I mean, I love you Knitting, and we’ve been though a lot together. I just want you to know that the thing with the loom didn’t mean anything to me baby… nothing.
(Ps, even though I said I was over it, I was really upset about the gauge thing on the sock. I thought you should know. )