I am starting to think that I write these to-do lists because I am deliberately attempting to lower my own self-esteem by coming up short every day. I mean, what in wool’s name provokes me to make them so unreasonable. Tomorrow I’m going to make one that has things on it like:
1. Drink coffee
2. Go to the bathroom at least once.
4. Feel like I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to parenting teenagers.
5. Ignore ring in bathtub, claiming that I have no idea what could cause such a thing, and claiming ignorance of solution.
7. Ignore ringing phone because I am dealing with whatever the last ringing phone set me on.
8. Convince self that I am wearing same tee-shirt three days in a row not because I am trying to save laundry time, but because it is my “look”.
9. Order pizza.
10. Look at some yarn.
That list wouldn’t get me any closer to a finished Sock Summit, a finished book or putting my arse out the door for a little book tour, but at least I would get the satisfaction of actually crossing things off. Can you imagine. Eat. DONE. Look at yarn. DONE. Ignore phone. DONE. By the end of the day I would be rocking it out. Feeling like a million bucks. I could get that list done, my friends, and that night when I lay in bed thinking about it, I would be a winner.
I wouldn’t have to think about the fact that I can’t show you my new sweater because I couldn’t find a bra this morning before all the photographers left. I wouldn’t have to show you this shawl that I was sure would be finished…
Miralda, from Knitted Lace of Estonia, going well but still not DONE.
and I wouldn’t have to be two days away from walking out the door with a list that never changes from day to day. Doesn’t matter what I do, same number of things on it. No sir. Tomorrow I’m putting “chastise the cat” and “think about having some juice” on the list…because I’m a winner, darn it, and some things just need to be done.