Timecrunch

Joe’s younger brother Chris is getting married tomorrow, and the family is all on a mad tear, and I really don’t have time to write, but I just wanted to share that out of sheer panic, pressure and the strange survival urge that comes over me after three hours in a mall, I have just purchased a dress on the advice of a 15 year old daughter.

This is either grand… or terrible.

181 thoughts on “Timecrunch

  1. A wedding with Newfoundlanders in attendance? I bet that is going to be one hell of a kitchen party afterward πŸ™‚ I’m jealous. Enjoy the wedding!
    On a knitting note: My copy of Knitting Rules! is in BC and I’m in AB. Is there anywhere online I can find the pattern for the basic sock recipe?
    warmest regards,

  2. Be afraid. Be very afraid. 15 year olds have an agenda that the rest of us will never understand. She will probably never let you forget this moment.

  3. From what you have said about your daughters in your blog, I will sleep easy tonight knowing that your beloved 15 year old has chosen a dress to make you look gorgeous. I wish Chris and his bride a wonderful happy life together!! It’s always good to add a little more love to the universe!

  4. The dress is probably perfect β€” no way is she going to let you embarass her. Best wishes for a wonderful wedding and family doings.

  5. have fun, wish them happiness, shed a tear or two and fifteenyear olds don’t like being embarrassed by their mother, so the dress must be great. I agree on pictures.

  6. The fact that you didn’t post a picture suggests that you may not be too certain about said dress. If it is bright white, shows your bum if you bend too far or has puffy cap sleeves…return it now and save your dignity.

  7. I’ve found good 15-year-olds with good heads (like yours) have astonishingly good taste when they need to! They don’t want to be embarrassed by you, after all! Looking forward to pics when it’s all over!

  8. You can always get revenge on her when she’s in her 30s and pick out clothes for her from a mail order catalog. I know from whence I speak.

  9. Is it hot pink or does it have geometric shapes? Maybe she’s the punk type. Beware the striped tights. If it’s not of these things, you’re probably golden. Enjoy the wedding!

  10. I have just bought a bathing suit on the advice of a 13 year old daughter and am (somewhat surprisingly) pleased by the result. I hope you are pleased with your teenage-advised purchase! Note that bathing suits have a much higher potential for embarrassment-in-public than dresses……

  11. You know sometimes our offspring do a really fantastic job helping us older folk choose something out of our comfort zone and it turns out well. I am sure your daughter helped you choose something that will make you look fabulous. Pictures please!!!

  12. Given that she will need to be seen in public with you, I think you can safely assume that she wanted you to at least look ‘not embarassing’. Since they love you, I suspect they also see you with a kinder eye than most of us see ourselves. Looking forward to wedding tales.

  13. TOTALLY understand how that could happen. Has she now vetoed the Birks to accompany it?

  14. I bet it’ll be grand. Your daughter does know you as well as knowing about malls, so I bet it’ll look fantastic on you. Have a great weekend!

  15. Your daughter has done a magnificent job helping you select a dress for this festive occasion. How do I know? Because I let my 18-year-old daughter assist me in selecting clothing and hair styles when I know we are going to be seen in public together. There’s an underlying self-interest factor here that prevents her from making you look bad. I do hope, though, that she also helped you select sandals for the occasion. Birkies often do not look very good with dresses.

  16. I’m sure it looks great on you. Kids sometimes have better taste than we give them credit for?! I know a couple of times my daughter brought me into the current decade by helping choose a couple of clothing items. I share your hatred for shopping and totally understand!
    Have fun at the wedding!

  17. If you show us photos we could help you decide!!! I’m sure your daughter’s taste is fantastic. Don’t worry! It’ll be fine!! Wear shoes, though. LOL

  18. Well if your daughter gave you advice and you went ahead and thought, “well, it looks okay,” i think you’ll look just fine. Pictures please!

  19. It will be brilliant. This is one of the many perks of having growing daughters. You know they REALLY want you to look good. They won’t tell you to wear something that doesn’t suit you. They know you REALLY well and mostly they make great choices. This is something to be encouraged. Have fun.

  20. If it’s not an earth mother-type wedding, you might not want to wear knitted sox with Birks. Unless the dress is very very long. A lovely shawl is a good idea. Can we see pictures afterwards? Can you get the couple to hold a sock? that would be totally cool!

  21. While some teen advice I would ignore, they really do keep up better than some of us on fashion. This is the problem with regularly choosing comfort and cost over fashion. Once in a great while you will want to look better, but you won’t have the clothes to be able to do that. Then you face a fast mall choice that you may or may not ever wear again. Yes, I speak from experience-don’t look in my bottom drawer.

  22. OK, now I’m laughing. I’ve done the same. Don’t worry – she knows you well enough and, I’m sure, what looks good on you.
    If she’s anything like my daughters, she probably been providing critical comment on what you wear in the form of ‘You’re changing before we go out, right?’ for some years now!

  23. I think the advice of a 15 year old is just perfect; they don’t worry about “should”, they do speak out if you look awful, they have no list of defects that all us older than 15 folk carry around in our heads, they are decisive, impassioned, rude even, but honest.
    You could do so much worse!
    It will go well, sending hugs

  24. Could be worse…could have been assisted in said dress by a five year old? Look on the bright side, at least you’re not STILL trying on dresses! Knock ’em dead, tiger! πŸ™‚

  25. Much love to little brothers big brothers sisters children mothers fathers aunts uncles and extended cousins! You will be grand whatever you wear! I have faith

  26. Clean undergarments? Lipstick? Purse without melted peppermints stuck to the lining? Deep breath and think it through. You’ll be fine.

  27. Desperate times call for desperate measures…But your older two have grown up very well so I’m sure Sam helped you pick out something wonderful.Have fun and we want pictures!

  28. I can not stop laughing. I am sure that is beautiful and we need pictures of you wearing it, pleassssse. Soon. Have a wonderful time and dance the night away with your Joe.

  29. I’m sure it’ll look great…either that or you learned something new. Have fun!!!

  30. Some of my most-complimented ensembles (WITH Birkies) have been selected by my 14 y.o. daughter. I’m sure you will be gorgeous – and I’m also sure your daughter is smart enough to have made a dress selection that will not backfire on her – she still has a few more years under your roof.
    Happy Nuptials!

  31. You have raised wonderful daughters, as you yourself have told us in the past. As a result, I’m sure that the dress will look great. Best wishes to the happy couple!

  32. I vote for grand. and no one else at the wedding will likely be wearing the same thing. as for shoes, I might suggest low silver strappy sandals or a pair of ballet flats; they’re legion, and since the end of summer is near, they just might even be on sale.

  33. I’m going with Grand – I picked out my mom’s Mother-of-the-Groom dress for my brother’s wedding. Granted, I was 25, but it was still a huge success. Your daughters all strike me as women of good taste.

  34. Congrats! I’m sure you will look awesome and you’ll know that you are the bravest, coolest mom there!

  35. You only need to wear shoes as long as it takes to take the official family picture. Then put the birks back on. Do you have Payless Shoes? I find them to be a great source for shoes that only have to be good in pictures.

  36. Mazel Tov on the wedding front! Best wishes to Chris and his bride. Can’t wait to see the dress on you. It will either be georgous or payback. I’m guessing the former. πŸ˜‰

  37. The best dress I ever bought was a spectacular little black dress purchased under the advisement of my then 7 year old son. His comment–“Dad won’t be able to tear his eyes from you.” It was true, and even though I might not wear it again, it is really a great dress.

  38. It will be grand and you will look wonderful in it! Ditto the suggestion on the shawn. If you must wear dress shoes, only do it for pictures. Put your Birkies on for the reception and any partying after that.
    Best wishes to the happy couple.
    Earlene
    PS does the bride really know what she’s in for?

  39. As long as the dress isn’t made out of rubber or plether you should be fine. Congratulations on the new family member.

  40. Can you take a picture of the dress? Neat that you asked your youngest! They know what they are doing !!!!!! ?

  41. HAH! I laugh now, b/c you are me in 2 weeks, when my older brother gets married and WeeMonkeyGurl advises me on proper wedding attire – and she’s almost 11. Does that make you feel better?!

  42. “This is either grand… or terrible.”
    Depends on the daughter. And her sense of humor.
    Enjoy the wedding! (Is the gift done???)

  43. Whatever the dress-and I have every confidence in Sam-if you wear the wonderful Miralda shawl no one will even notice anything else. Have a joyous time! Dance, dance, dance! Every blessing to the newly weds! Cheers, Hazel.

  44. Sounds like a winner to me! Have a great time at the wedding! They’re so much fun!

  45. Good Lord woman! Get out of the heat immediately before it does your reputation any more damage. We need pics of this dress so we can save you from a teenagers fashion sense.

  46. I agree w/Hazel – wear one of your many beautiful shawls and you will be stunning. And, I think you can trust your daughter’s taste in clothes. She always looks well put-together in the pics you share of her. Enjoy, and congratulations to the wedding couple!

  47. What I want to know is if you finished the blanket…it has to be the wedding present, right?

  48. Can’t wait to see the dress! You’ve raised some good kids, so I’m sure it is lovely!

  49. Hilariously scary!!! What ever became of the skirt you were knitting at one time?
    I wish them many blessings…

  50. Pictures by Monday, of you wearing the dress Sam picked out for you, or we send in a SWAT team headed by Cat Bordhi to remove all your dpns.
    This is your only warning.

  51. Go kids! My teenager has been helping me shop/dress since she was 10. I don’t even think twice about asking her to help. (Mr R is a stereotypical boy, so I don’t ask him.)
    Congratulations to all involved in the wedding, and you’ll be fabulous!

  52. You’d be surprised at the fashion expertise of 15 year-old girls. You’ll be gorgeous! Have a great time!

  53. I think you might be into the start of a greatly reduced stress load when you go clothes shopping. :o)
    Then again, I think we might need to see a photo of you in your new dress before we can decide . . .

  54. Oh, just have a wonderful time. Remember, you are NOT the day’s focus point, gorgeous though you will be.

  55. Another vote for photographic proof. –“no shoes” absolutely acceptable–
    Happy Marriage to brother Chris and his about to be wedded.

  56. Totally jumping on the “pics or it didn’t happen” bandwagon!
    Do consider, though, that you’ve raised some pretty fine young women. You’re probably OK. In the meantime…here’s hoping it’s a fabulous celebration, and best wishes to the groom & bride!

  57. I think that 15 year old daughters have self-preservation in mind when they give clothing advice to their mothers. They don’t want to be humiliated by you wearing something awful, but yet they don’t want to be shown up by you either. They know that if they give bad advice, they will hear about it forever!
    I’ve actually gotten pretty good clothing advice from my 17 year old son.
    Enjoy the wedding!

  58. Oh, they have a wonderfully, critical eye, those daughters, and she would NEVER send you out in something that would embarrass her. And she knows you best…your likes, your dislikes, your
    would-never-wears.
    I bet it looks mahvelous!

  59. Trust me! A 15yr old does NOT want to be embarassed by their mom. I am SURE she picked something amazing! You will look great!!!! Have a wonderful time! smiles,

  60. All I can say is: Please post pictures. They are, as I am certain you have read and indeed said..Worth a thousand words.
    Enjoy and be glad you have a daughter whose taste you can even consider trusting!

  61. Don’t you hate trying to find a dress to wear to an important family function at the last minute?!? I’m a serious jeans and T shirt kind of girl so for the most part my wardrobe is very, very casual so when there is a grownup function that I must attend, I have to go shopping. Being tall (but not as tall as Juno, she’s much more statuesque than I am!) and not svelte means that I have a really hard time finding something that looks good on me and comes in my size. The size factor is the most challenging. I know that having to shorten clothes is a pain, but at least you can buy something like pants and shorten them. For me, unless the thing has a really big hem, forget it. As for 15 year old advice, sometimes they know what they’re doing. I bet that you look very nice or you wouldn’t let yourself be talked into buying that dress. I hope you have a great time and I think you should have Joe take a picture so we can all see how nice you look. If for some reason you feel the need for revenge, you can always make the 15 year old be in the picture with you LOL!.

  62. It is a miracle, but the sagacity and judgment of a loving daughter of any age is always worth listening to, even if you suspect she is mad at you at the moment. From two to thirty, my daughter has given me good fashion input,always considering that I am her mother, not her peer. I may not follow it, but that is personal taste, not a disregard of her judgment. Sometimes she was right and I was wrong, too. Enjoy your time with your family.

  63. I don’t buy clothes for “events” without my younger son’s advice (he lives across the continent from me, so I save shopping trips until he’s around. OK he hasn’t been 15 for a while, but I was asking back then too)–or my sister’s advice (she’s significantly younger and far more alert to what could look good). Otherwise I’d wear hiking/climbing/getting grubby clothes everywhere without giving it much thought–besmirching the family’s sartorial honor right and left, I suppose.
    The temptation to write “honour” in that sentence was really strong.

  64. As long as it doesn’t say “Abercrombie” on it and have to be peeled off like a second skin I think you’re safe. I agree with a previous post as well, there’s self-preservation on the part of the teenager not to be humiliated by her mother’s appearance.

  65. Congrats to Chris and his bride. I’m sure Sam’s dress choice for you is a good one. She’s already demonstrated she’s got a good head on her shoulders. Surely she wouldn’t want you to wear anything that embarrassed her. Of course, we still want pictures. πŸ˜‰

  66. She has to live with you so I’m betting it was great advice !!!
    Happy Wedding !!

  67. re: footwear – you can get patent leather Birks (and in different colours, too). Totally comfortable, and totally able to shut the mouth of anyone who doesn’t think Birks are dressy enough for a formal function. I have a pair of black patent leather three-strap Birks from about six years ago that I am still wearing to the office, for conferences and dinners out – highly recommended!

  68. How lucky are you to have an in-house fashion consultant?! I wore black slacks to the last wedding I went to. So did the mother of the bride. Pacific Northwest island version of sartorial splendor. Pictures please. I want to see what’s chic in your fashionable big city. And have a blessed celebration.

  69. Teenage daughters are definitely to be trusted in the clothing department. I used to let mine dress me, as her fashion sense was 3x mine. We will get a photo of you in said dress, yes?

  70. Enjoy it while you can…..my daughter just went off to college and now who will tell me if my choice of dress/shoes/top, etc. is “old lady” or not? Maybe picture messaging on the cell phone from the mall will be next to come.

  71. Hmmm, I find that my daughter’s, youngest 21, pick out the newest style for me BUT it reminds me of what my mother wore. Styles seem to reoccur every 20 years or so. Instead of feeling like I am dressed younger than I should it is just the opposite. I feel as though I am dressed like my Mom who is 41 years older than me. Not good. Hope it works for you.

  72. Hmmm, I find that when my daughter’s, youngest 21, pick out the newest style for me it reminds me of what my mother wore. Styles seem to reoccur every 20-30 years or so. Instead of feeling like I am dressed younger than I should it is just the opposite. I feel as though I am dressed like my Mom who is 41 years older than me. Not good. Hope it works for you.

  73. There’s nothing wrong with the way you look. I’m sure your daughter picked out a great dress for you. And, every woman ought to have a pair of shoes in the closet that either makes her feel like she has a secret weapon, or that makes her laugh.

  74. Most of my fashion decisions are made with the help of my 6 year old daughter. She’s a born stylist. Don’t worry, you’ll look fabulous!!

  75. grandly terrible? terribly grand? most likely neither.
    most likely, you will look great. just not as great as the bride, as it should be.

  76. My daughter once picked out a car for me. She made an excellent choice and I still love driving it. Too bad she couldn’t pay for it too. Anyway, I’m sure you will look fabulous in whatever your daughter chose for you. Have a lovely time!

  77. My mom has 5 daughters and still claims that she was never so in style as she was when we were teenagers. I bet the dress looks great.

  78. I would never, ever encourage my mom to buy something she looked bad in. I’m sure you’ll look awesome.
    But, yeah, pictures!

  79. Just looking at Twitter pictures of the storm, and… Holy &%$^*(!!! I’m glad you and all your family are okay! Good luck and have fun at the wedding!

  80. No trouble to tell you’ve been spending a lot of time with Newfies – that’s a good thing!

  81. I find my 19 year old daughter’s opinion re my clothes very helpful. I dread looking frumpy and at least she screens out that look!

  82. I bet you look wonderful, I know your daughters have good taste, and even if you find it’s uncomfortable – remember, it’s a wedding, you never really need to wear the dress again, even if you’re a guest.

  83. You do remember all the years you picked out her clothes? Right? Enjoy the wedding and I hope you dance…

  84. You do remember all the years you picked out her clothes? Right? Enjoy the wedding and I hope you dance…

  85. I let my 17 year old niece pick out my new glasses… I get compliments on them whenever I wear them (usually in the contacts though).

  86. You do remember all the years you picked out her clothes? Right? Enjoy the wedding and I hope you dance…

  87. You do remember all the years you picked out her clothes? Right? Enjoy the wedding and I hope you dance…

  88. Smile and act confident! You only have to wear it once and everyone is supposed to be looking at the bride!

  89. The good news is….you bought a dress. You will be there clothed. That is good. And you didn’t decide 48 hours before the wedding to knit yourself a dress.I think this is good.

  90. It’s grand, I’m sure. I’m with everyone else – pictures, please!!! Can you get the bridal couple to hold a sock?

  91. Ditto Carol’s comments…
    If it is the teenager that just biked the marathon….
    1st thing…she owes you…
    2nd thing…she will never let her mum mortify her in public in a ‘bad’ dress
    3rd thing…she REALLY does LOVE her Mummy!
    Enjoy the Fun
    All the Blessings for the Bride and Groom!!!

  92. Well, now that you have set us up like this, you’ll have to post a photo of you in the dress. My 25 yo daughter likes to dress me, and most of the time it turns out OK!

  93. Oh, it’s not the dress at all, it’s who’s in it that matters at a wedding, so you will be fine (but I wanna see a picture, too).
    Congratulations to your son!
    Garter stitch blankets, IMHO, should always be composed of large squares and assembled later, lest their practical sameness drive the knitter stark barking nuts.

  94. 15 years olds keep us *older* folk from looking stuck in our decade! Best Wishes and have fun!! I’m sure you will look great!

  95. well, this means that the dress will DEFINITELY be current and fashionable… it just remains to be seen whether it is fashionable for someone who isn’t a teen! but i’m sure you’ll rock it! πŸ™‚

  96. It’s an act of mutual trust when you consult the opinion of your offspring — for a moment she’s a friend, not a daughter.

  97. Not related to this post, but I wanted to tell you that I just read your essay in Free-range Knitter about writing and knitting and I have the same experience. I write novels and I find that when the writing is going well, the knitting is very slow. When I’m stuck on a book, I knit constantly.

  98. I would guess that I’m a little late on my thoughts as I suspect you are presently IN the dress and the couple is married already however, my advice is, “stand up straight”. You look great no matter what you have on as long as you “wear” the dress. Attitude is everything. Hope it was/is a fun event….

  99. grand, definitely grand. no matter what. you don’t want to spend whatever time left to do everything else looking for a dress you may never find. (experience….)
    and enjoy the wedding, and congratulations to every one of you!

  100. This seems to be very pressured time,in which most of the family members were panic about it.
    On the other hand, it’s really nice to ask an opinion from the offspring, in which this seems to give importance.

  101. Will we see a picture of the dress??
    I just went to my mom’s wedding and wore a bridesmaid’s dress (she didn’t have any bridesmaids) but it was the only nice dress I could find on short notice (cause I waited too long to look for a dress). It turned out really nice…And I think, besides the bride, I was the best dressed one there!

  102. My 15 year old is pretty good at picking out most things for me . . . in fact, whenever we are going someplace, she is horribly disappointed if I get dressed without her input.
    I am sure you were lovely.

  103. I love it! Both of my daughters (17 and 20) have always had much more fashion sense than I (not difficult), so I generally look better when they dress me. Can’t wait to see pictures!

  104. I was once advised to purchase a dress on the advise of a 15 year old. The dress had a rabbit fur collar. Need I say more.

  105. How lucky for you to have a personal adviser!
    My absolutely favorite dress in the past 20 years was bought by my then 23 year old son as a gift, without me there and it fit like a dream. I got tons of compliments and I never would have chosen it. Same son helped pick my Mother-of-the- groom dress for his wedding 4 years ago,another winner.
    it formyself.

  106. Wow, that was awesome, it looks like a 15 year old as age as you, she knows better what dress to wear on the wedding, this sounds cool, hope to see the dress. πŸ™‚

  107. Karin, 2 messages before me has said what I was about to. Your dress was just perfect. Yes, send your youngest over to my house!!!!!
    Also, Joe was VERY HANDSOME in his suit. I loved the photo of the 2 brothers. Looks like you are blessed with wonderful relatives, Stephanie.

  108. If it’s the dress you wore to the wedding then it’s a beautiful dress and you look lovely in it. Your daughter has great taste in fashion.
    – Pam

  109. Oh, my. This summer my step-daughter got married, and I, too, took the advice of my 16 year old when picking out a finger nail polish color. I was going to wear a navy jacket over cream colored pants with yellow flats and with my yellow bag. My daughter convinced me to get yellow nails with the yellow glitter top coat. The good news is that I was knitting a shawl that had that very color in it during this time. It’s really important to have nail color that matches your knitting! πŸ˜€

  110. I did that once, against my better judgement. One of the most flattering dresses I’ve ever owned, turns out. I still have it 12 years later…

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