I believe that I may have made my position on the brassiere public before in a subtle manner. I’m pretty sure too that copping publicly to the fact that I only own one of the regular sort of them means that they’re pretty low on my list of priorities. I’ve got about 16 rants that I could give you on bras.
Rant 1: Why aren’t womens bodies good enough without modification or alteration? [Note: Rant 1 leads directly to Rant 1a: How come women have to shave stuff and wear lipstick to be acceptable, but men are fine the way they are? and as such it is best to avoid triggering Rant 1 unless you have time for a two-fer.]
Rant 2: Doesn’t pretending that breasts look or are located differently than they actually are just set us all up to think our breasts are crappy?
Rant 3: For something that everyone seems to agree all women should wear, they are pretty expensive. Seems like a trick.
Rant 4: I was an IBCLC for 10 years. Breasts come in more variety than bras do. Also seems like a trick.
Rant 5: How come bras are all designed to give you the breasts of a pre-pregnancy 21 year old? My breasts are working class, thank you very much, and have seen tons of action. Stack that up against your inexperienced breasts.
Rant 6: I think that insisting that I pretend my breasts are 21 forever implies that there’s something wrong with women aging. Is that what you’re trying to say? Is it? Eh??
I’ll stop there. I’m sure you have your own, and that a bunch of you will finish the list in the comments. The point is, that I don’t like them and I don’t wear them much. I don’t have an issue with other women wearing them, and I even have moments when I wear them myself. I wear them when I’m doing something fancy, when all my body parts are trying to look their best. I wear one when I’m running, because I can agree that their mobility is not an advantage in that activity, and I’ve been known to wear one when I put on a tailored shirt and discover that the fashion industry has an inflexible notion about where my breasts should be located, and that without a bra, I am may be challenged to have my "empire" above an empire waist. It’s just that the rest of the time – nobody has ever been able to give me a reason beyond "Don’t you want to be pretty?" (and yes, I do… but I’d rather do it in a way that isn’t an illusion that would shatter bystanders if they saw me naked) why I personally should wear a bra.
All of this said, today I have a meeting with the school, and I have discovered over the years that for some insane reason (Rant 7b) people seem to think that you are smarter and more reasonable if you have controlled breasts. I have tried to explain that I don’t think with my breasts, and that whether or not they are controlled has nothing to do with whether or not I have sound judgment or good ideas, but really, all that does is make me the crazy braless mother instead of just the braless one. For today, I should like very much to be taken seriously, and so I decided to put on a bra so that everyone can see that I am a proper mother. (Rant 8b A whole lot of mothering- especially the early part, is easier to do if you’re not wearing a bra. Why do we make even more complex bras to deal with that?) Thing is? I can’t find it. I have ripped up this whole house and I can’t find it. I am now confronted with a choice between being going without and trying to hide that with a complex scarf/sweater plan I’m working out (which will likely make me "that sweaty mum" instead of "that braless mum" and actually has the potential to make me "that sweaty braless mum" which really could be worse…) or I can give up, go there like I am, and sit there braless and knitting while my daughter rolls her eyes, and just acknowledge that I’ve gotten this far in parenting without a bra, and say "I’m up here" if anyone stares.
I hate this. I do have most of a nice sock though. Do you think it will help?