Some Things

 A short list of things that I am good at, and things that I am not good at.

Good at: Making knitters.

This is Pato, knitting for the 2nd time, which is apparently all it took to create a monster. (Technically Megan taught him to knit, but I figure that since I made Megan a knitter Pato’s a score for me too.) I told him he had to learn to knit to earn my pledge for their ride, and he took it to heart.  Last night Meg was trying to get him to leave to go to dinner and he told her to let him finish his row first.  Meg told me later that he was at it all night. Serious boy, that.

Not good at
: Cleaning, apparently. We have two cordless phones in the house. One has been missing for a week.  I’ve really looked for it too, so that leaves the only reasonable possibility.  It’s been eaten by the roaming dust bison.

Good at: Knitting, which I suspected. 

I finished Harumi, which is a lovely knit and took just about two skeins of Luscious, a 100% silk, in the colour "Copperline."

It’s a heavier yarn than the pattern calls for, so I went up to a 4.5mm needle and got a larger shawl. 

It’s heavy and shiny and delicate and delicious and I’m entirely smitten with it.  Easy pattern too- as far as lace shawls go.  I suspect I will only be more fond of it when the heat breaks.

Not Good At: Throwing a baseball, which has been entirely irrelevant in my life until now.

I’m throwing out the first pitch at the Toronto Stitch n’ Pitch on the 27th of July, which gives me absolute fits.  I only agreed to do it because I thought it would impress my nephew Hank, and I guess I didn’t think it though, because getting out there and throwing like a total loser really isn’t going to impress him.  I had a dream the other night that I went to throw it and it rolled off the back of my hand as I tossed and landed at my feet.  In the dream I brushed this off, picked it up and then threw it straight into the ground three feet away like Mariah Carey did. (Big thanks to Amy for sending me that link so that my nightmare could fully form in glorious colour.)  I was telling my sister last night about it and she said "You have to practice Steph.  You really can’t throw badly.  You have to practice or it’s going to be humiliating.  People will tease you about it forever."
"I know." I said.  "I think they would."
"I know they would." she replied. "It’s a fact. It’s going to be me Steph. If you screw this up I’m going to tease you forever. I won’t be able to help it."

It’s true too.  She wouldn’t be able to resist. I wouldn’t either, so I don’t fault her. Hell, I’ve been mocking Mariah Carey for days since I saw that and there’s no evidence that I can throw any better than her.  It’s just too stupid. I mean, I wouldn’t mock someone who couldn’t avoid a situation, but it’s not like I’m getting forced to do it.  I’m the one who agreed.  I was fully aware that there was ball throwing in being asked to throw the first pitch, and I was fully aware that I can’t throw a ball, and I said yes.  I deserve everything that happens next, like when I get out there, step up to the mark and then fumble the whole thing so badly that in a bizarre freak moment I manage to bungle the scene so spectacularly that I throw the ball at my own face with sufficient force to give  myself a nosebleed that’s displayed on the Jumbotron and youtube forever and leaves people talking, for years and years about how they remember that harlot knitting woman and didn’t even know that was possible and man, didn’t it look like it hurt?

Good At: Persistence, so I’m going to go practice.     

I feel like having the ball is a good start.

219 thoughts on “Some Things

  1. Ha! Good luck with that! My coordination skills are limited to musical instruments and yarn.

  2. Some people take baseballs apart and knit or crochet with the string that’s inside. You could try that on home plate….

  3. To make your attempt easier, throw underhanded!!!! It won’t hurt your shoulder to do it that way. Otherwise, you could end up with a possible knit stopping injury. Remember, UNDERHANDED!!!!! Good luck!!!

  4. Haven’t you ever thrown something at a yarn-robbing squirrel? Channel that feeling and pretend that home plate is making off with a skein of silk and cashmere. I have great faith that you can do this.

  5. Wow! I find this very exciting. When is the game? Good luck with the practice-you will do fine, just don’t “throw like a girl” 🙂

  6. And also? See if your cordless phone has an intercom feature. It may make the lost one beep from the dust bunnies’ lair.

  7. That is all kinds of awesome!!!!
    You’ll do just fine. More importantly, what sweater are you going to wear?
    After all, the sweater will be super magnified on the Jumbotron.
    I’m just sayin’.

  8. Did you see the movie 28 Days with Viggo Mortensen and Sandra Bullock? Viggo’s character is a baseball player and he gives Sandra Bullock’s character a great tip about how to throw the ball. Plus, it’s Viggo. 🙂

  9. Congrats on the opening pitch! I vote – practice throwing. And have someone trustworthy go over how to not throw like a girl. I believe the secret is in using more than just your arm to throw. Use the muscles in your legs and back and stuff too. But, then, I’m a girl, so I could be mistaken.

  10. What if you threw a ball of yarn? That’s not going to go very far since it’s so light, so it totally wouldn’t be your fault if you didn’t get it to home plate. Blame it on the yarn.

  11. Hey – We know you can do it! Just have someone show you that to throw not like a girl (sorry if that offends some of you) you need to not palm the ball but rather throw it more with your fingers. Also, try throwing from the side not from the top.
    Does the first pitch on “Stitch ‘n Pitch Nite” have to be a baseball – can’t you throw a ball of yarn???

  12. You will be great! Yes, practice.
    and….don’t let your wrist rotate down as you release the ball. That’s why Mariah throws it in the dirt. She lets her wrist bend down. Throw it with your hand to the catcher. Also!!!!….trust the catcher. if you get it anywhere near the catcher, they’ll make you look great.

  13. I keep thinking of that scene in The Natural where the ball hits the lights and unwinds. And then I picture you picking up all the string and knitting something with it.
    And I double dog dare you to try to knit something (anything really) with two baseball bats!
    I’ll be cheering for you from Yonkers!

  14. Apologies to Kristen at 4:33 – I was typing as she posted. And why didn’t Presbytera think of that first!

  15. Keep practicing — you will rock this, I know it!
    And all the knitters who’ve come for the Stitch ‘N Pitch will salute you with their WIP’s, which will confound the rest of the crowd mightily. Good times!

  16. You’ll do fine. Many times guest pitchers are allowed to throw from closer to the plate. I believe US presidents have done so. Certainly it should be permitted for you.
    And look at it this way, I broke my nose while bowling last week. I bet you won’t break your nose throwing a pitch.

  17. If you’ve ever had success skipping rocks in a lake you might want to think about sidearming the pitch…

  18. Knitters are a pyramid scheme and you clearly get a commission for Pato’s sales.
    Also? Someone like you* will throw the ball just fine.
    *With a touch of a competitive nature

  19. you need to think about this. try some slight-of-hand and throw a ball of yarn first, for a good laugh. Then, when everyone is laughing and on your side, you can throw a decent shot and be all set.

  20. Great pic of the kids. I assume Megan’s wearing something strapless cuz I don’t think you’d let her sit out on the porch topless.
    Practice with that ball. Just don’t tear your rotator cuff while you’re at it. Good luck. We’ll be watching on ESPN. Hey. No pressure, though.

  21. I would just like to say that claiming Pato as one of your own knitters that you made is sort of like one of those pyramid schemes, yes? I mean, where will it end? 10 generations from now you’ll have like a ga-zillion knitters under your name in the big book of “knitters who passed on the craft”. Heck, my name will probably be under your name ’cause of making “A Pretty Thing” cause you designed it and I couldn’t have made it without you.
    OK, maybe you do deserve the credit…

  22. The shawl– it haz leafs, but it no haz green.
    There’s no disgrace in a Canadian not being able to throw a baseball. Just make a quip about how much better you are at hockey, and all will be forgotten.

  23. Argh! I don’t suppose you could give a link for that Harumi pattern? I’ve been goggling around trying to find it and apparently Harumi is also a Japanese porn star……

  24. You crack me up. You and your commenters both. Good luck with that throwing thing! Beautiful shawl.

  25. So sorry, but we will also tease you forever if you throw underhand. Maybe you could find a little league coach to teach you?

  26. BWA-HA-HA! I need to clean my keyboard now. Seriously, wear a Maple Leafs jersey onto the field, throw the d**n ball & enjoy the game. Thanks for the laugh. @ Maureen: thank you for googling this for me; now that I know I won’t look for it on the office computer!!

  27. I agree with the suggestions to throw underhanded. Remember, whichever way you throw it, step forward with the foot opposite you’re throwing with. So if you throw with your right hand, step forward with your left foot at the same time.
    Also, you have an inherent leg up as you won’t be wearing totally stupid shoes like Mariah Carey.

  28. P.S. Congrats to Pato! Always good to gain a useful hobby. Plus I’m sure he’s getting lots of points for persistence.

  29. My 7 year old son taught me throw last summer and it’s actually not too hard. And I am definitely without coordination!
    Point your glove where you want the ball to go, step and throw. You can do it!!!!

  30. Gorgeous Harumi! That silk looks absolutely sinful.
    As for the pitching, you could always take a few skips closer to home plate, then jauntily underhand it. As long as you’re laughing at yourself first, then it won’t matter if you look silly, right?

  31. A former priest of mine once tried out for the Texas Rangers, before becoming a priest. His claim to fame: In an exhibition game he struck out Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris and Yogi Berra. When ordering minor league tickets for a church outing which was years after this, I mentioned it to the rep. When I told the priest he was going to be able to throw the first pitch, he too started having nightmares. His April game was snowed out. Hmmmmmmm. I wouldn’t count on that happening.

  32. I’ll be honest. I think I would have REFUSED. However, since you didn’t, there is nothing left but the practice everyone is urging you on to do. In the meantime, I will love you even if you end up not being able to throw. I mean, what’s more important: throwing a ball or knitting?
    Annnddddd… your Harumi is stunning in that gorgeous coppery color. Stunning!

  33. 1) You absolutely get credit for Pato as a knitter. In fact, I believe there’s extra credit for having made a knitter who in turn makes knitters. (And bonus points for him being a “just one more row” knitter. If this were Scrabble, you’d have a Q, a Z and a triple word score.)
    2) I suggest you aim high. Most people who don’t regularly throw aren’t going to get as much distance on a ball as they think they will, and a wild pitch to the backstop is (slightly) less embarrassing than bouncing one. Plus, as Helene said, the guy catching will be a professional who is paid to make it look easy.

  34. The Harumi shawl is so pretty and elegant. You did a great job on that.
    Congrats on being selected for throwing the first pitch. That’s really cool, even if you can’t throw a baseball.
    I hope someday, that my future children will be knitters too.

  35. Why not make the toss in a knitterly way? How about knitting either a sling for launching the ball, or knit a kind of slingshot out of stretchy yarn? Given it’s for the 1st S&P of the season, I think that these options are entirely appropriate. And the crowd would love it!
    And, of course, the shawl is drop-dead gorgeous.

  36. Stephanie, find someone to tutor you. One of your kids’ friends probably plays baseball. Underhand would be OK if you must. They won’t make you throw it from the pitcher’s mound (at least I don’t think they will). The catcher for the Blue Jays just played in the All Star Game so I am sure he can catch anything you throw him. And I am sure they know that whoever does this is nervous. Go for it!

  37. Ok, that is the coolest thing ever. Seriously, EVER. You’ll do fine!! I go to a lot of baseball games and I have rarely seen a ceremonial first pitcher actually throw the ball well. Seriously, no one expects a good pitch, and everyone will cheer for you no matter what because they’ll all be wishing it was them out there on the mound. (Just don’t listen to the people telling you to throw it underhanded.)
    Plus, that night it looks like the Blue Jays are playing the Orioles, who currently have the worst record in baseball. Chances are good that whatever you do, it’ll be better than their starting pitcher.

  38. Throwing out the first pitch is SO COOL! Please practice. I’m a baseball-loving knitter, and would love to have you truly “represent”!

  39. Love the shawl (and Pato); at least Mariah didn’t seem too upset at her crappy pitch. You HAVE to do better than that–represent!!

  40. You’ve heard of Victoria Beckham – Posh Spice? She did first pitch for some game or other in LA (LA Lakers?). She was allowed to stand about 3 yards from the plate, and she wore these ludicrous platform trainers and trust me. You will manage it with humour, elan and might just smile. Unlike Posh.
    The whole not smiling while she did it thing made her look a total wally…

  41. Your shawl is gorgeous. My cordless phone has a button that you can push to find it. It will beep no matter what pile of stuff it is under. Maybe yours has one too? Of course if the battery is totally dead, the beep won’t work….

  42. Oh, my goodness. That Mariah Carey clip was so bad, I had to watch it twice.
    Are you going to wear high heels, short shorts, and something unzipped to your belly button???
    You can do it! I have all the confidence in the world in you!

  43. Wow! Let him finish his row first!? He’s really truly hooked! 🙂 Yay for creating another knitter. I’m waiting for Pato to churn out his first sock.

  44. SUPER jealous! If I could make the font larger, I would. I love baseball. I love knitting. You get to walk on a diamond because of knitting. Damn, why does this stuff never happen to me? Maybe because I’m not a super cool and funny knit writer. *sigh*
    You do need to use your legs, stride forward, use your shoulder, not your bicep…. I have an idea: I’ll teach you to throw and you can teach me some cool knitting thing that I don’t know. Just come to California and I’ll take care of you.
    Oh, and what game? Because I want to watch!! The blue jays are coming to Oakland soon and we’ve got tickets to one of the games.

  45. OMG. You get to throw out the first pitch…at a MAJOR LEAGUE baseball game. Honestly, Steph, next step is a peerage.
    You will be fine. Own your throw. Even if it’s no good, do it with aplomb, and you’ll be fine. And it looks like the Jays will be playing the O’s (the team of my childhood), which means there’s a pretty good chance the Jays will win. Sad but true.

  46. Call up the Jays and get some tips – maybe they’d get you down there for practice. You’d surely make someone’s day by asking! And, unlike knitting, lead with your elbow for distance.

  47. I was just going to be all catty and make some comment about Mariah’s outfit and choice of footwaer…but then I read through some of the other posts…
    Why don’t you knit a sock and kind of sling shot the thing at home plate? You know sock/ball/photo-op?
    I’m disappointed that I won’t be able to make it, but I went to one a couple of years ago and KNOW what fun the knitters are at a Stitch and Pitch! Have a great time. CHEERS!

  48. The fleece-stealing squirrels will be practicing their mocking, but if it helps any, honey, ain’t no way you can throw that ball worse then I would be doing.
    That shawl is drop-dead gorgeous, and I now have James Taylor’s song “Copperline” stuck in my head.
    Congratulations Pato!

  49. Well, here — for what it’s worth — is the pondered opinion of a totally non-sporting limey who doesn’t know the first (or second or third) thing about baseball, in spite of being married to an American: it’ll be fine!!! There are lots of people in the world like me, who couldn’t even see what was wrong with Maria Carey’s effort (I did grasp that she didn’t throw it very far, but have no idea if that’s wrong). We’ll all be right behind you, cheering whatever you do, because we sure as hell couldn’t do any better!

  50. Almost makes me want to fly to Toronto (from SoCal) just to see you throw the ball. A few tips as a frequent observer of first pitch ceremonies: 1)You don’t have to throw from the mound (that hill thing in the middle of the field)- see how far you throw in practice, and walk out that distance. 2) Most of the crowd arrives well after the first ceremony (and in the case of the Blue Jays, not at all), so you’ll be seen by a friendly crowd. 3) If you can’t use a ball of yarn, just pretend the baseball is one anyway. 4) Have fun – the world will not end if a knitter from Toronto doesn’t make a perfect throw to the plate.

  51. Wow. I never realized the range of the dust bison. I suspected their territory encompassed Canada, but confirmation, wow…

  52. I always throw better if I think that someone has done something to me ,like run off with my favorite set of needles or the project I am currently working on. Works “most”of the time.

  53. We lost a phone once, too. I’m pretty sure it fell into the trash bucket when my MIL was visiting. She brought her trash bag up when she left, and I, of course, didn’t pick through it. I should have. I thought it seemed a bit heavy…

  54. Steph…you will make us knitters proud, I’m sure of that! Now go practice!

  55. Good luck. I was able to learn to throw a football at one point in my life so I have faith in your ability to learn to throw a baseball. Sides you can always offer yourself a bribe if you do well. Beer, yarn, something wonderful.
    Love the shawl by-the-by.

  56. Rams took the words right out of my mouth! Pretend it’s neon pink, so plasticy you can almost feel it crunch when you squeeze it, scratchy as the dickens, and thick and unbreathable as kevlar, and chuck the damned ball so hard it’ll make the batter’s head spin!

  57. I’m not good at cleaning or throwing a baseball either, but there are a lot of things I am good at, so I think it makes up for my lack of talent in those areas.
    I love your shawl! I looked it up on Ravelry and couldn’t come up with anything other than a cardigan; could you please tell me where the pattern is from? I’m sure that there are others who would love to knit such a beautiful shawl, also.

  58. How cool is it that you’re getting to throw the first pitch at a Major League baseball game! You need to find a dad who has coached t-ball (beginning baseball here in the US). When my son did that at age 6, the coaches had a whole series of metaphors for the motions, starting with “feed the bird.” And it worked. Of course practice is involved. But you’re a smart gal. I know you can do it.

  59. I think they let the “guest” pitchers throw from closer to home plate. So you could always ask about that.
    From someone who can’t hit the broad side of a barn: throw with the fingers not the palm and either throw underhanded or try turning slightly sideways and “flicking” it (I hope that makes sense).
    I’m also voting for throwing a ball of yarn! Something dense and wound into a tight centre-pull ball, I’ve pitched balls of hard packed fishermans wool at people and gotten some good distance with that!

  60. I know you know that you have to practice throwing the distance from the mound to the plate. Good luck. I know you can do it.

  61. Is Hank available? And can he throw a baseball? What about Ken?
    You just have to throw it 90 feet overhand to the catcher; it is really not that hard (especially if you are wearing “sensible” shoes!). The ump is NOT going to be judging to see if you can get it in the strike zone! (which is hard…and it is even harder to get it in the strike zone…but not hittable!).

  62. Get with Rachel and start practicing. Start at 4 meters, when you get comfortable and mostly accurate move back another 4m, lather rinse repeat until you get to 18m then practice that distance until your arm is tired (not sore). Muscles have memory just like your sister.

  63. And there is a really cool market bag somewhere on the ‘Net that is made from the yarn INSIDE the baseball and with baseball leather forming the closure…just saying!

  64. Maybe if you throw a ball of yarn, you’ll have better results. Mix the stuff you’re good at (knitting/yarn) with the stuff you’re bad at (throwing a baseball) to get a mediocre result. However, this could cause difficulties for the batter. But hey, that’s his problem, right? 🙂
    Good luck!

  65. I believe the pattern is HaruNi, instead of HaruMi- check it out on Ravelry. 🙂

  66. Just don’t throw from the mound and you’ll be ok! There is no shame in moving in closer to the plate!
    Also, remember to turn your shoulder and follow through. 🙂

  67. I promise not to mock you forever. Maybe just for a week or two.
    Seriously though, I think you’re going to do beautifully!
    And you know, worst case scenario, you can stomp your foot like Scotty (Star Trek) and say something like “Damnit, Jim, I’m a knitter not a baseball…throwing…guy.”

  68. Brilliant!! Do you know how few people actually get to throw out the first pitch!?! And even fewer get throw the other pitches!!! You are my HERO! And no matter how well you throw, or not, the fact that you would agree to do this to make Hank proud of you – what an amazing aunt you are!!
    Brilliant!!

  69. I am in utter awe of how CHEAP the tickets are! Holy cow. You could totally take the family to a Blue Jays game and not have to take out a loan. I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner than this that we will be in Toronto while they’re hosting the Red Sox. Would it be wrong to tell the kids they can’t take a boat ride or go see that castle thingy so that we can see a Red Sox game?
    Right, we were talking about YOUR dilemma. Um, go practice! You have to do the knitters proud.

  70. You will have a friendly crowd of stitchers who will cheer you no matter what! And the pitcher would be just as leery about knitting in public, if that is any comfort! You could offer some knitting lessons in exchange for pitching lessons!

  71. Better you than me! I would be in a panic if I had to throw out that first ball.
    About the missing phone, I hate to tell you, but check the trash. I’m almost certain that many years ago in a fit of straightening up from sewing, I tossed a remote control. Of course, we never found it, so I can’t be totally sure, but really…

  72. i’m good at teaching people to knit, average at knitting and hopeless at anything sport related – but take heart – before i married my husband i couldn’t throw or catch to save myself – but now i can (just) – so practice, practice, practice (if for no other reason than to stick it to your sister!!!
    l
    x

  73. good luck with the first pitch thing, glad I’m not famous so that I never have to do something like that 😉
    Does you phone have that thing that you press on the base to make the phone that’s hiding ring so you can find it? tv remotes don’t, but they should.

  74. i’m good at teaching people to knit, average at knitting and hopeless at anything sport related – but take heart – before i married my husband i couldn’t throw or catch to save myself – but now i can (just) – so practice, practice, practice (if for no other reason than to stick it to your sister!!!
    l
    x

  75. Wish I could be back “home” for Stitch ‘n Pitch. You will do more than fine, I’m sure. And I agree with all the others, no one says you can’t throw a ball of yarn. Use something dense, well-wearing, and acrylic. Perhaps a perfect use for Phentex.

  76. I love baseball but can’t throw either. I wanted to teach my son to play baseball and managed to hit him in the head, it was awful for me. I’m not sure he really cared, since I kicked a soccer ball at his head too, I guess he was used to it!
    Good luck! What an amazing experience.

  77. Way cool – wish I could be there! As many have already said, the first pitch is often thrown from a ceremonial distance that does not include the pitcher’s mound (that would be fun though). I suppose hitting it with a hockey stick would be a little out of line (although amusing). As for throwing a ball of yarn? It wouldn’t travel very well, but you could wrap it around something with a little weight and it just might work.
    Have fun – I am so jealous because we don’t seem to have a Stitch ‘n Pitch event around here.
    And the shawl and the new knitter are both awesome.

  78. Haven’t read all of the comments, and someone may already have mentioned this. I was having trouble finding “Harumi” on Ravelry (except for a cardigan); the shawl as actually “Haruni” with an “N”.

  79. You can SO do this. I like the idea of taking a few steps forward, and definitely wear the Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. We’re With You!!!!

  80. I swear the only thing that could make your throwing the first pitch at a MLB game would be if the Jays were playing my beloved Red Sox (who won’t authorize a S&P). So, so cool. I think you’ll kick ass when the time comes! I mean, you have a week or so to practice, right?

  81. O.k. Once again I’m really out of it. What’s “knit and pitch”? It sounds like an oxymoron to me. Good luck anyway and the shawl is gorgeous. Next stop, Ravelry to go and find it!

  82. Comment of the first part, technically, you made Megan and made her a knitter. Possibly you can claim double credit for Pato.
    If Hank can throw, I think he is your best bet for throwing help. He will take it seriously, and not be too rough on you. That, and he would probably love a game of catch.

  83. Pato looks like he can throw a baseball – have him give you some pointers. Also, I think knitting a ball cover would help, sort of like making the ball your own.
    Lovely shawl. Truely out of my league.

  84. Just visualize that the ball is a ball of 100% cashmere yarn that you need to toss as far as possible to save from a fire. That should help….
    Great shawl, BTW. I’ve totally lost my knitting mojo–it didn’t defect to Canada by any chance?

  85. Oh my gosh! Toronto will be playing my beloved Baltimore Orioles that day, so I hope the pre-game ceremony will be televised here so I can see you and wave at the TV. Keep practicing and make us knitters proud.

  86. So, Steph, you’re saying Knitting is a Pyramid Scheme? You get credit for everyone who learns to knit from someone you taught to knit?! Cool!

  87. Gorgeous shawl. Existence of that shawl way more important than ball throwing ability.

  88. I am so envious. I harbor a secret wish to someday throw out the first pitch, somewhere, anywhere. Even if it does bounce three times on the way to home plate. It will be a real experience.

  89. 1. I hope there will be a video of the toss on YouTube because that’s the only I’ll get to see it (yes I’m evil, but you like me anyway, plus i send you fiber in the mail 😉 )
    2. Pato knitting finally got me to go in and leave a pledge for him.

  90. Steph,
    It’s really a physics problem. I can say that because I’m the daughter of a Phys Ed teacher. I’m also the family klutz. Yes, really. I can fall up the stairs. (I’ve fallen down them too, but that’s easy.) I’ve broken my two big toes, and my two little toes. In four separate incidents. So I know of what I speak.
    But back to the physics. The bigger your lever, the further the object is going to move with the same force. Really. So, use your whole arm. If you “throw like a girl”, and lead with your elbow, you only get half the lever (elbow to hand), instead of the whole lever (shoulder to hand).
    So remember to keep your elbow back. And you’re right. Practice is important. You can do it. There is time, so don’t panic. The knitters of the world are behind you. Good luck!

  91. That is so exciting!! I’m thrilled for you. You won’t mess it up. I have faith. I’m sure your husband can throw a ball. He can help you practice.
    God, now I really wish I was going. DH has been bugging me to get Jays tickets for some time now. That would have been the perfect time. There’s always next year. If you throw good, perhaps they’ll ask you again.

  92. I’ll be there and I think we should all throw out a ball of yarn at the same time that you’re throwing out the first ball. Do you think they’d let you throw a ball of yarn instead? Good luck. We’ll be cheering for you.

  93. I found the cordless phone (battery was dead) between the mattress & box spring in the teenagers room – since I know you’ve got the equivalent in girl form, I’d check there if I were you

  94. Congrats on the happy knitter and a great shawl 🙂
    Great blog – you’re adept at putting spin on things.
    So why not the pitch, eh?

  95. Throwing a ball is the only event I could never do to get the President’s Physical Fitness Award in school. Even with my dad coaching me, I persisted in throwing “like a girl”. I think Susan’s suggestion to throw a ball of yarn is a good idea, and you should go with it! Get one in the team colors–I’m sure you have one in your stash!

  96. J2 is playing in the State Baseball Championships this weekend. He pitches to “close” the game. He pitched two innings in a super competitive game this past weekend. He’s 9 1/2, 4 ft and a few, can weave and bead including adding the findings. You can do this. Or I can fly him up on Sunday night to work with you for a couple of days. Your call.

  97. That is awesome.
    I told my SO, and he said, “As long as she avoids the 6″ hooker shoes, she’ll be fine.”
    Just in case you were considering ditching the Birks for the occasion. . . (Yeah, right!)

  98. Get a little league coach to show you. You’d be amazed. I could never throw and I listened to my son’s first coach teaching them, and I was stunned how much better I got instantly. (Arm over the top. Big step toward the target with your opposite foot. Snap your wrist.) Really. And practice.

  99. You are a strong and capable woman and you can throw that ball out with style and grace. I was a star pitcher till Iwas 12 and told I couldn’t play ball with the boys anymore and had to play softball. I have small hands and can’t hold a softball properly. maybe that’s why I became a fiber artist.
    Go forth and stitch and throw and we will all be proud of you.
    Blessings,
    Robyn

  100. I know how you feel. I pitched a ball and hit myself in the foot with it. Yes, I really did. It was during one of those terrible phys ed classes in High School where you have to get up and do it and something like 50% of your grade depends on being able to throw a ball and have it actually go through a “strike zone” window. I had 3 chances to do it. 1. I threw the ball and it landed in the dirt about halfway to home plate. 2. I threw the ball and it bounced off my own foot. I hobbled back to the mound and 3. I threw the ball again and it hit my phys ed teacher. Ok, in reality, it just glanced off his arm but in my memories of the incident, it struck him directly in the nose. The creep deserved it.
    Love your Haruni. I have one on the needles myself and it IS an easy knit. However, I do not have enough yarn to finish it and it is glaring at me accusingly because I have taken no steps to either procure more of the same yarn, or frog the darn thing and start over with something else. I have a huge ball of midnight blue silk that would be just gorgeous!
    Lastly, Yay for new knitters everywhere!

  101. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Knitters can do anything they set their minds to.
    I made my donations to the riding team. I was going to give each of them the same amount, but since Pato already made his goal, I gave that portion to Ken (so he got double what I gave Meg). I want to help the whole team get the gold jerseys!

  102. Practice with yarn and it will be fun. Practice catching a ball of yarn and you may even want to play more.

  103. Steph, I have every confidence that you can throw better than I can. A blind gerbil can throw better than I can.

  104. It’s OK; when we rule the world, we’ll make baseball players cast on the first row at Rhinebeck. Good on you for practicing.

  105. Hahahaha! I needed this laugh tonight — thank you!
    I know you’ll do fabulously…I can’t wait to see your flawless first pitch on YouTube!

  106. The whole blog’s behind you! You’ll be fine since you have persistence in practice, you will prevail. Oh, and we will love you… no matter what.
    I lost a TV remote for about three years. After looking everywhere, buying a generic replacement, and totally forgetting there had been another, then one day, there is was! I have no idea where it had been!

  107. fave comment in this thread is the one above mine “Why is Meg naked?”
    all i could think is “she is the harlot’s daughter. i guess they’ll do whatever it takes to make them all knitters!”
    but seriously, i forgot if i’m allowed to soak silk like i do wool for blocking. can i? i’m getting mixed messages and talk of putting vinegar in with the soak.

  108. *gasp* YOU have dust bison, too? I thought those were only native to my domicile! I’m so relieved to hear that the continued survival of the not-at-all-endangered dust bison does not rest on my shoulders alone. In fact, I think we should start a new relief effort, just to ensure these noble creatures are there for future generations to enjoy: “Save the Dust Bison”! We can wear fuzzy grey knitted ribbons.
    Who’s with me?

  109. OK, we’ve got Pato and Megan to 100% of the funds needed for their ride. Now we just need to get Ken to that point. You may have to teach him to knit, too, in order to get the knitterly support.

  110. What amazed me about Mariah’s performance was that she didn’t seem to have any idea how bad she was.

  111. LOL…just let me finish this last row. Uh huh, he’s bit alright.
    …and attempting to steal home with a bunch of rare quivet fiber… is the nasty rodent of your nightmares. Wind up and throw that ball like you mean business. Aaaand he’s OUT!

  112. my sister-in-law sometimes has access to company tickets for JAYS games and i have already asked her to use her pull to get me the tickets for the 27th…. but this could be a big ticket item and others in the office may have already called it…sigh.
    but we’ll see. cos if i get them i will be there rooting for you as a fellow member of the Not Good Thrower Club. (My 12 year old is a huge and major baseball fan and asked tonight that if perhaps my athletic sister, Aunt J’s house burnt down could she come and live with us so he could have someone decent to play catch with when dad is busy.)

  113. I LOVE that shawl! I have been in a bit of a knitting funk. Well, that’s not entirely true, I’ve just been wickedly busy with nursing school, kids, husband, life, did I mention nursing school?? I think that shawl is exactly what I need to work on on my little vacation in Puerto Rico next week. I searched for the pattern on ravelry but could only find a harumi cardigan. Could it go by a different name? I really want to find it before my trip. Thank you for your help in advance. Oh and by the way, good luck with the baseball thing. I have been trying to teach my son to throw a ball and decided to give that job to his dad. I don’t want him throwing like me! =) I’m sure you will do great!

  114. Amazing! Gorgeous shawl AND throwing the first pitch? I can’t stand baseball but even I know this is a big deal. PRACTICE!! You really don’t want to embarrass your nephew. Just heave it as hard as you can toward the catcher. You’ll do fine.

  115. Good luck with the first pitch! We will all WILL it to happen – that you to have one good pitch in you and for it to happen right then and there.

  116. That is a lovely shawl, think how good it will feel in Oct. Also, thank you for identifying the critters that hang around my house as a result of living with a looong haired grey cat. I have been calling them dust elephants, but I do think they are more bison sized. I’m hoping to invent a floor cleaning system that will gently move dust, crumbs, etc. accross the floor, channeling it into the mouth of a whole house vacuum cleaner opening. All without dislodging cat dishes, slippers, small pets or craft tools.

  117. I spent a summer watching my cousins, especially my then 4 year old cousin, Henry. He was in t-ball and a baseball fan–well, he loves all sports, but Baseball was the big thing. All summer long, I would throw the ball somewhere in his general vicinity and he would either try to hit it or have to chase it. I had weekends off and one weekend the family was going to see a Baseball game. I was a bit touched when Henry saying “You should come! (Oh, we’ve really bonded!) …”Then, you can see how a really pitcher throws!” Still makes me laugh.

  118. DH used to work for the NY Mets. He says you need to discuss with team officials; they can help you out. Either you move closer to the plate, or the catcher moves closer to you. Something’s gotta give! If you tell them you can’t throw, they can work something out for you.
    You don’t want this to go straight to YouTube without a plan…
    Good luck!

  119. Huh. I thought dust bison were exclusively found in northwestern Wyoming.
    As for that first pitch, nobody expects you to throw something that could actually be hit with a bat, and there will be a guy in a baseball uniform encouraging you and helping you look good. You will end up loving it, you’ll see.

  120. I can tell you another thing you’re good at: you are good at bringing joy and laughter to other knitters around the world!
    Oh, and about Harumi: I am in utter awe; What an absolutely gorgeous creation. It is perfection!

  121. You could either: a) imagine you’re aiming at a squirrel and just let loose, or b) knit a sling and practice with that.

  122. Like anything, it is the muscle needing to develop. The more you do it, the stronger and better you get. Start at a short distance and then gradually move further back. Do not try for the whole thing at once. You’ll be annoyed, and you can strain your arm. If nobody near by, aim at a target. Then take a step back…and step back… Believe me, I was the only girl in my entire Little League one year.

  123. Okay. It’s not important that you throw the ball all pro-ball style. Just that you throw it kinda STRAIGHT. I wish I was there to help you practice!
    If you are going to throw overhanded from the shoulder: Hold the ball only with your thumb and first two fingers: fingers spread above, thumb below. Make a fist with your ring and pinky finger. Think of your hand as the cup on a catapult: grip the ball lightly, cock your arm back to the shoulder, and pretend your arm is the catapult. The force of springing the catapult will release the ball. It’s important to stand “bladed” to the target (point at the target with your hip and shoulder), and use the leg on the same side as your throwing arm to push through at the same time as you launch the ball. Your whole body, not just your arm, throws. Argh! This is so hard to explain …
    Wait, I just found this: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-throw-
    a-baseball
    Or, just throw a ball of yarn. Wish I could be there. 🙂

  124. Gorgeous, gorgeous shawl. For me, it is one of the nicest you’ve ever knit. I love it lots!!! Practice throwing the ball. It will go where you are looking so look ahead at something. And practice! Remember no one expects you to be like a real pitcher so do the best you can. And practice! Bon chance!!!

  125. I take heart in the fact that if you got MC too close to a flame she would catch on fire and her clothes melt to her.
    Not so much with you and your wool

  126. Holy cow. You get to throw the first pitch at a baseball game?? that will be televised and youtubed?! Wheeeee!!! That is supercaliawesomesauce.
    And remember, no matter what happens, there’s NO CRYING in baseball.

  127. For everyone: From Denise in Kent WA, above – the Ravelry link to the Harumi (sic) Shawl: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/haruni
    For YH:
    When I told DH, a serious Blue Jays fan, about when and where you were to throw the opening pitch – after catching my breath and picking my jaw up off the floor – he looked at me quite sternly and said “Harumph! Well I’m not going to watch her.”
    When I asked why he said “Because it’s her fault there is so much yarn in this house”.
    Must. knit. more. (And not spend so much time on the computer surfing knitting blogs.)
    To improve the reputation of female first pitchers:
    Practice – pretend you are throwing at your backyard squirrel. There are lots of good hints preceding this.
    Practice.
    Do NOT throw underhand.
    As you do not normally sashay like Mariah Carey in the everyday course of events of your life, please do not suddenly start.
    You are going to be “representing” nearly everyone’s dream, so do us proud! We trust you, BTW.

  128. It’s too late at night to read all the comments, so I apologize if this one is a repeat. A few years ago Debbie Macomber threw out the first pitch at Stitch and Pitch Seattle [where it all started] and she threw a ball of yarn, underhand, if I recall. I was pretty far away…… If the ball doesn’t reach home plate, people just assume it’s because it’s a ball of yarn, not a baseball.
    Good luck and have a fun time.

  129. Fantastic!!!
    Take a cue from Pato’s persistence. 🙂 Just as he needs to practice to get the knitting motions down, that’s all you have to do too. Grab Joe, or anyone who’s game to catch for you, for short bursts of throwing. Start close together and throw for 5 – 10 minutes, maybe two sessions the first day, three the next, slowly build up the arm and muscle memory. As you gain ability and confidence move further apart. Find the throwing method that works for you and stick with it. Most of all, have a blast!

  130. Oh, Steph, not to add to your nightmares, but I’ve managed to throw a baseball such that it went up in the air and came down and knocked me on the head. I didn’t get a concussion but… it could happen… so good luck with that.

  131. That shawl is gorgeous! I am seriously in love with it. (I just can’t knit right now, too hot here!) Please, please, please have someone videotape your pitch at the Blue Jays game. You will be the next You Tube sensation!!!

  132. Oh, good luck with the first pitch thing. If it makes you feel any better, even people who are good at throwing (amongst regular, non-baseball professional people) mess up the first pitch thing quite a lot. Something about the pressure getting to them.
    But you, you are made of sterner stuff. You just need to approach this like you approach Christmas knitting somewhere around December 23 when you still have two pairs of socks, a shawl, and a complete sweater that must be finished by December 25. Anyone who can manage that pressure can manage first pitch pressure. I have confidence in you.

  133. Please enlighten us re any pitching tips you get, as the phrase “throws like a girl” would apply to me. Good luck, I’m sure your persistence and practice will pay off. Imagine a squirrel standing (on a stool) @ home plate,a little bat in hand.
    The shawl is lovely

  134. Pato looks like such a nice kid… are he and Megan an ‘item’ or just friends?

  135. Wow. The is an exquisite shawl. I’m pretty sure my mom NEEDS a shawl like that, and probably in that color too. 🙂
    Good luck with the ball throwing. I’m sure with a little practice it will all go just fine!!

  136. Just remember, when throwing overhanded, release the ball at the *top* of the arc, instead of when your arm is on the way back down. It’ll feel like you’re throwing it too high, and that’s OK.
    And then pretend it’s a ball of wool that has moths. That should give you incentive 😉

  137. Seriously, when you get to the end of your life, do you want people saying, “MY! She kept a clean house AND she could throw a baseball like nobody’s business!” or do you want people saying, “Look at all of the nice people she produced, and look at the pretty things she made, and look at all of the people she inspired to become better knitters and more generous people?” Sounds to me as though your priorities are in the right order; on the other hand, practice, practice, practice that throwing.

  138. Wow… I had never seen that video (or heard of it) of Mariah Carrey. That is pretty bad and there is no WAY you will be that bad. My suggestion is to do the whole stand sideways, stare down the catcher, wind-up and pitch and end with your leg up behind you, just like the pro’s do. If you make it really over the top it’ll be a spectacle in itself and no one will notice how far or the ball went or if it went toward the catcher at all.
    OR, maybe you could somehow throw the ball WHILE knitting, that way if the throw is bad, you have that to blame it on. And people will be impressed no matter where the ball ends up.

  139. Oh Lady Harlot, you have to practice. Crash on this one and when they fill out your tombstone they will leave off the kids, the good deeds, and all that, and will just say how you tanked in the first pitch. Find a local kid who can play, and play catch with him or her. Don’t go to the mound (60+ feet is a long way), you can stop several paces short of the dirt. Best idea yet, take Hank out on the field with you (I have seen this). The people will be watching Hank, and you can roll the ball in with nobody seeing it!

  140. You could take throwing lessons. I played on the company softball team a couple time, and I got one of my co-workers to show me how to throw. It didn’t help too much with distance, since my arms are weak, but at least I could throw straighter. 🙂

  141. For those who are looking for the shawl it is a free Ravelry download-Haruni by Emily Ross. Needless to say I will be trying it too.

  142. I wonder if they would let you throw a ball of yarn instead! Only hang on to a thread and as it unravels you can pretend to be Robert Redford in “The Natural”.
    Good for Pato and Megan for doing their ride again this year – I know you are proud! And Pato learning to knit! What a guy! Be sure to tell him he has a cheering section out here in cyberknit land and let us know where and how we can support both of them on the ride!
    And – of course – the shaw is stunning! Not to mention that I get to see how my favorite colorway from BMFA looks made up! You’re a wonder!

  143. WOW! That shawl is BEAUTIFUL I’m usually surprisingly uninterested in most lace shawls, but that one is striking.

  144. Steph, perhaps if you call the team, they may be able to hook you up with a “coach” to give you some pointers. I don’t know if your local high school has a baseball team, but you may be able to ask the coach there for some help as well.

  145. Great shawl, and practice practice practice for that pitch!
    Knitters – get busy helping Ken, he’s the only one not at his goal for the ride!!

  146. Step forward with the opposite foot (so left if you throw right-handed) as you’re throwing, and don’t windmill–try to sort of whip your arm forward. A bit of practice and you’ll be fine! I’d definitely vote to talk to the team about finding someone to give you pointers if you’re nervous about it.

  147. As long as you don’t throw a pitch like the mayor of Cincinnati did a few years ago, you’ll be fine. Seriously, Google Mark Mallory’s first pitch. Don’t do that.

  148. You can do this. Take the ball, point where you want it to go with the other hand and pointer finger, now throw it. Keep pointing and it will go right where you where pointing. Put your body behind that throw and get it over the plate, do us knitters proud. If I can learn to knit at 49, you can pitch! Your younger.

  149. The shawl is a Pre-Raphaelite vision of beauty. I can just see on some rocky crags, tossing your hair as you throw that first pitch!
    Eve from Carlisle.

  150. Don’t think. Just throw.
    Don’t think. Just throw.
    Don’t think. Just throw.
    Nice shawl. Very pretty yarn.

  151. I suggest looking for your phone in the cupboards. We lost ours last week, and found it last night with the cookies.
    Good luck with the throwing, but I’m pretty sure you won’t need it.

  152. The phone is in the laundry basket because you were talking on it upstairs as you were collecting laundry. You hung up and tossed it in with the clothes. (that’s where mine was found.)

  153. Another voice for an underhand pitch. I can’t throw overhand to save my life but I can manage a halfway decent underhand lob with something approximating grace.
    If you taught Meg and Meg taught Pato, that means he’s the second generation (and I’m sure there’s lots more of those; Meg can hardly be the first of your students to pass it on) so that makes you a knitting matriarch. I’d milk it for all it’s worth.

  154. Just chuck a ball of yarn – so much easier! Mind you I don’t know anything about baseball – my lot all play cricket….which has to be the most boring game of all! I would rather frog mohair than watch cricket. GOOD LUCK. (pretty shawl, too)

  155. Imagine this – you’re standing on a dock when you notice a Knitter in a small boat (app. 90 feet off shore). Then you notice the boat is sinking, you must save the Knitter. Your only option is to throw your ball of yarn (roughly the size, shape, weight, and feel of a baseball) as hard as you can right at the knitter. By keeping hold of the end, you’ll be able to pull the Knitter to shore. Throwing hard and straight to save a fellow Knitter should be easy. Just forget about the guy in the tight pants standing between you and the (about to drown) Knitter! Good luck and have fun!

  156. Stephanie, can you hop on a plane to Texas real quick? My daughter-in-law’s father is a retired Major League PITCHER, and her brother is a former minor league PITCHER who now is a private PITCHING coach! They’re very nice guys, and they could have you pitching like a pro is just a couple of days. (The Texas heat right now might kill you though….)
    Mary G. in Texas

  157. Say the word and I will be there to be your relief pitcher. Not saying I will make it to home base, but I’ll go a lot further than Ms. Carey. And I will throw while you charm the 30,000+ audience. Oh, hope that doesn’t give you hives.
    Oh and beautiful shawl… I might have to try more lace.
    Cheers!

  158. Awwwwww!!! I don’t know why, but the little bit about Stitch and Pitch put a little tear in my eye!! I think it’s really cool!! You’ll be just fine–approach it with the same resolve you used to do that run a while back.

  159. If it’s any consolation you can be sure that there are at least two people who would do a worse job – Mariah Carey and me. (It’s no often that I’m in the same category as Mariah Carey.)(It makes me feel sort of oooky.)

  160. Can’t wait to see it on YouTube! Hey, can’t Pato teach you how to throw in exchange for teaching him how to knit (via Megan)?

  161. Tickled pink about you throwing out the first pitch. They never show that stuff on the TV, but we can see every game (thanks to DirecTV) and will dutifully record the game.
    Yay, you, for practicing! All you need to do to get the crowd behind you is get it reasonably close to the catcher, without it hitting the ground first. You’ll get cheers!! You can do it! Knitters can do anything.

  162. Have you thought about a ball launcher of some sort? I mean that’s how I would go about it if I was invited…

  163. I think you need to enlist Hank. A ten year old boy has got to know how to throw a baseball, right? Oh, wait. Scratch that. My ten year old boy can’t throw a baseball, even though his mom played softball from childhood all the way through grad school. Uhhhh…I think I need to go take my son outside now…
    Good luck!

  164. Personally, I think you should practise a side-arm delivery. Side-arm pitchers are rare in the major leagues so you’ll be joining a select group of ball throwers. Also I think the arm muscles we develop as knitters are particularly well-suited to a side-arm technique. For heavens sake, don’t throw underarm; that’s known as a “girlie” throw and they don’t maen it as a compliment.

  165. I love your Haruni. I have had it in my Ravelry queue forever. I am just not sure what I want to knit it out of. Seriously going to consider silk. It is so beautiful! (PS for anyone who wanted to find the pattern, it is a free one on ravelry)
    Good luck with the pitching. I have no advice. I am clumsy as an ox at all things athletic.
    Way to go, Pato!
    And this is completely irrelevant, but for some reason today I got to thinking about Mr. Washie. I kinda miss him. 🙁

  166. hmmm, I think you’ve gotten a lot of good throwing advice already, but here’s my advice:
    start practicing from the bottom up. The stereotypical “throwing like a girl” is just with the arm.
    Maybe start practicing JUST that step with the left foot (you’re right handed, right?) Do that a bunch of times. Like, 10, at least.
    Then add the shoulder. Start with your right shoulder back. Step left, right shoulder forward. Do this for a while until it begins to feel like a continuous movement.
    Then you can add the hand. Step left, right shoulder, right hand. Uh, repeat.
    It’s a pretty cool feeling when it comes together, like the strength starts in your feet and ripples up through your body in a wave, all to concentrate speed right at the tips of your fingers.
    Very similar movement to a tennis serve, just in case you’ve ever done that.
    Just think of how good it is for your brain to learn new things!

  167. This is awesome, but you have to Represent!! Get a teacher and practice–you wouldn’t presume to learn any other new skill without someone to show you how, give you hints, and practice. Not that you have to be an expert, but….. Also, you have to get a photo of the sock with the catcher after your throw–and with anyone else you can negotiate before they force you off the field.

  168. Utterly and completely awesome that you will be throwing out the first pitch. Utterly and completely and perfect.

  169. Don’t worry about it. . . my husband earned a full scholarship to college as a pitcher and when I throw a ball it ends up going backwards, behind me. Seriously. . . and he’s tried to teach me. . . I’m a lost cause, BUT I’m good at knitting and he doesn’t even try! =)

  170. My daughter, who will be 19 in August, threw out the first pitch at an Oakland A’s game when she was 10 years old. It was the first prize in a story competition, and her whole fifth grade class was there to witness the event. Afterwards, she made the front page of the paper. If she could do it, you can do it, Stephanie. Those MLB players will be there to make you look good, and afterwards you get a cool signed baseball.

  171. There was an episode on “West Wing” where President Bartlett was going to throw out the first pitch, and Toby Ziegler insisted he practice. They showed many practice sessions, in some long hallway in the bowels of the White House…
    You’ll be brilliant!

  172. Boy, do I wish you could send the Stitch N Pitch ju ju down to the Blue Jays minor league team here in New Hampshire. The Fisher Cats tried it last year and it seems to have died on the vine for a lack of volunteers to foster it along. Because of a serious illness and subsequent death in the family, I never got to that game..but I sure do wish it would come back.
    Anyhow..good luck Steph and I wish I could be there 🙂

  173. Advice from hubby– throw to the highest point on the backstop. Anything lower and you’ll just look silly because it’s way harder than it might appear to throw at the catcher.

  174. May I ask, is Pato of Chilean extraction? My husband is a Chilean Pato and we have a friend who once said, “All Chileans are either Flaco, Gordo or Pato” which is really pretty close to being absolutely true. (My experience is that no Chileans use their given name, all use nicknames, to the point that some folks are unable to respond to their legal name in formal situations because they’ve never used it).
    Just curious. Patricio is used a lot in Chile and hardly ever anywhere else in the Spanish speaking world.

  175. I think this is my first comment! Love you, Yarn Harlot.
    Weird coincidence…I signed up to play on our company softball team in August and I haven’t played a real game in years, so I’ve been planning some catch sessions in the park and a couple of rounds at the batting cages. (At least you don’t have to hit. Think of it that way.) But no matter what, I am SO impressed…throwing out the first pitch at a Blue Jays game?! Everytime I see the first pitch at a Dodgers game I think, “man, that takes some balls.” har har

  176. OMG – it is such a big deal to throw out the first pitch. I am so excited for you. As a baseball fan, it is fun to watch the first pitch get thrown out. I can’t throw a baseball either (I throw like a girl, of course). You should definitely practice. I know you will do fine. It would be great if you posted a clip of you throwing out the pitch afterwards. Good luck and Go Jays!!

  177. My LYS owner had to (or, if you prefer, got to) throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Phillies game a couple of years ago. She was a fairly terrible pitcher when she first got the news.
    There’s something really inspirational about watching a LYS owner in her fifties get heckled and coached and finally cheered on by a pack of ladies in their sixties and seventies until Cathy finally capitulated to our demands and began to throw balls of yarn around her shop. It was less intimidating to start with a projectile that couldn’t do any damage, I suppose. She worked her way up from Encore remnants to a proper baseball and acquitted herself well at the game. You’ll do fine, sugar.

  178. Try looking for the phone in your bath robe pocket.
    That’s where I found mine a year after I bought a new cordless phone duo. Obviously I don’t use the robe much.

  179. Does Hank have a Little League baseball coach? (Or whatever the equivalent to Little League is?) Better yet, go find the high school girls’ softball/baseball coach.
    If you’re right handed, the throw actually begins with your left foot. With toes pointing straight towards your target (for lack of a better term ;o) step forward onto that foot, and then use your entire body to launch the ball from your right hand. The power to throw the ball comes from a twisting motion that begins with that step forward and travels up your left leg, into your torso, and then whips your right shoulder forward and your right arm over your shoulder (both of which until this point have been trailing behind your left shoulder and arm), allowing you to shoot that ball far and fast.
    Good luck!
    (And that is one beautiful shawl. Great job!)

  180. I wish I had gotten to read this post right away. I would have suggested you throw a yarn ball instead of a baseball and then shrugged. A good humored response to a stressful situation that would have hit a note with all us knitters. People would have responded to that as a joke and laughed at you in a good way.
    P.S. I queued Harumi on Ravelry, but after seeing your finished product, I doubt I would be too happy with my own results. Very nice work.

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