Monday if I say it is

This all comes to you at a very wee hour, though I’m starting it at home before I leave, it will likely be finished at the airport.   Here are things I’m thinking this Monday morning- and before you start correcting me, stop right there.  It’s Monday if I say it is.  The real day following Sunday was a complete piece of complicated arse that I absolutely could have done better,  and I would have skipped it, were it legal.  I’m calling a do-over.

Reasons why, and yup.  It’s a little random.

1. Sam got a fantastic opportunity to do something perfect for her, and she’ll be going to school away for a little while.  It is something we never though she would qualify for, and as good as it is for her, it’s hard for me to pretend that I love it, but this weekend when we dropped her off I was really brilliant at pretending that it’s okay with me for my kids to pursue stuff that takes them far from me, even if they are ready and need it.  Details withheld because I have a creepy stalker and there’s no bloody way that I’d tell the whole world where Sam is without her mama. It’s like camp with school and bears and timber wolves and there will be snow and I think she will like it a lot, and really the other girls have gone places and Sam did go away on a ship this summer which was really dangerous and I …

2. The fact that Sam is far, far north of here has me in such a tizzy that all I can do is knit for her over and over.  The last week has produced a hat and mittens, and now a scarf, since I’m worried she’ll be cold without her mum.

I know that almost 17, kids really aren’t cold without their mums, but I can pretend and dream. 

This scarf is just a simple feather and fan, and is the leftovers from the mittens I made her the other day. 

It’s LSS in Eggplanted, and wonderful soft.  Mostly knit in a car, and blocked in a hotel room.

3.  I am fighting the urge to knit her everything. Like maybe pants or a snowsuit, but realizing that this is like the urge I had to microchip Amanda before she went to Europe. 

4. She has actually asked me not to be weird with the knitting.

5. I don’t know if I can’t be not weird about the knitting thing.

6. I’m flying to Portland today to work on Sock Summit. 

7. We came back from up north last night sort of late, and I had to unpack my stuff, wash my stuff, and repack my stuff and get to the airport by 5:30 and that’s a totally crazy time of day and I really, really think that I have to do something about how crazy I am if I think that I can do this trip on 4 hours of sleep, but here I am again.

8. I am in the airport now, and I am knitting socks and blogging to stay awake.

9.  I would sleep because I’m really not that hung up on being awake at this time, but I’m actually very worried I’ll miss my flight if I nod off.

10.  I think I may need to examine the level of self loathing that let’s a woman get herself out the door this early just to save money, because that’s what it was.  I’m here this early because the later flight cost way more, and I can’t bring myself to pay $100 an hour for sleep, and despite being a staggering zombie in the airport right now, I don’t see that changing about me anytime soon. 

11. Even if I could afford it, I think I would rather spend $100 on yarn than sleep.