I know what girls like

This week is the March Break, and so I have a teen around, in as much as teens are around – and if you have one, you’ll know just what I mean.

Since I don’t have a lot of time with mine, I decided that this week we would do things that she liked, and I would like them too, just so that we could spend time together.  Trouble is, what do teenaged girls like?  After a great deal of research (not only was I a teen girl myself – I have had three) I can tell you that this is the stuff that goes over really well.

1. Expensive things. The more money it costs, the better they like it.  I use this to my advantage by making sure I complain bitterly about the expense.  Makes them feel special when I fold and buy whatever it is, even though I was always going to buy whatever it was. and even though it isn’t very expensive.

2. They like stuff that has to do with their physical selves.  Manicures. Waxing things.  Stuff you paint on yourself.  Cream that allegedly does things to your skin.  (Hint: The more "action" a product has, the more they like it. Aim for products that have verbs in their marketing. Lengthening, lifting, correcting, shining, enhancing, bronzing, boosting… anything like that.)

3. They will love it if you hate it.  This goes for everything, especially boys and skirt lengths.

4. If you love it, they will hate it. See above.

5. They will love it if you look really stupid in it, near it, by it, around it or can’t do it.  (This, I believe, is the primary draw of skateboards.)

That’s all I’ve got.  Good luck, and stay strong.

128 thoughts on “I know what girls like

  1. Do they like handknitted socks, are are they in those desert years of not appreciating motherly skills?

  2. Your list is why being an aunt can be so much better sometimes than a mother. Teenaged girls love to do the same thing an aunt does. Aunts don’t have to worry about ensuring the girl grows up without being spoiled. When my nieces are visiting they even enjoy going grocery shopping with me. I don’t think they would be caught dead doing that with their mother.

  3. So true, buth when the comeout the otherside of teendome they are really wonderful human beings, I know your will be!

  4. I’ve got an 18 year old and a 15 year old by association (their dad and I have been together for almost 9 years, but we’re not married so I’m not a traditional stepparent). Boy, do I feel what you’re saying with “as much as teens are around.” I’ve had to schedule brunch for Saturday via Facebook to get some time in with the older one before she goes back to college…

  5. Just for information’s sake, except for number 2 and the second sentence of number three needing to be girls, this is pretty much what teenaged boys like too.

  6. Does this mean I’m in for a world of trouble that my 2.9 year old daughter behaves like this already?
    Hoooooo boy. Going to be a long road ahead.

  7. You forgot one – their friends. About the only way I get time with my two teenage daughters is to invite one of their friends along. Which also helps with your #1 because it doubles the expense of any outing and you can complain all the more!

  8. Hahaha this post is great! Now I feel bad for the hellish teenage wrath I brought upon my parents. I was more your gothy angsty teen so I’m sure you can imagine how much fun that was.

  9. I have TWO teenage girls home with me on break. I was nodding my head in agreement all through your post. We shopped today, yes, expensive is better and, yes, we do not like the same things and then we went to have their brows waxed. So glad to see I’m not the only one in this boat. I thought you were going to say how much fun you’re having and how in sync you are with your daughters and then I would have to have eaten an entire carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream to feel better.

  10. This is why I have dogs, not kids. Dogs love you always, want to be around you constantly and think you are absolutely the BEST! THING! EVER! The price is cheap: a scratch behind the ears, a rubbery Beggin’ Strip and a small chunk of real estate on the bed. On the downside, you can’t dress dogs up like princesses…well, you can but that’s something we don’t talk about…

  11. Hmmmm, I am Mother to 2 Teenagers, but I guess we are just not typical – apart from #5 of course, #5 is the Universal Rule.
    OK, I’m cheating a bit with my 13 year-old daughter, as she has a chromosome too many and a ‘mental’/developmental age of 3 – she’s just [as in today!] mastered the word “cushion” and I am immensely proud of her. My 15 year-old son is mostly indescribably fantastic – he was in a wee bit of a strop this afternoon as we were too noisy for his home studio [aka Mum’s PC transferred to his room to record his latest songs], but he still took the garbage out without being reminded. The kids are on 2 weeks’ break here, too, and the home studio is his highlight while I’m catching up on medical appointments with his little sis…
    He IS going to learn to knit socks, though, to keep him occupied on the Tour Bus once he is a Rock Star!
    Just love your blog, Ms. Harlot – keep ’em coming!

  12. When my darling red-headed daughter was 4, she had the temper that matches the stereotype. Tantrums, foot-stamping, loud declarations that she would “do it by my-nelf!”
    It was exhausting — I was dreading her teens.
    Amazingly, it appeared that temmperamental 4-year-olds could be working out teen angst early. By the time she was 13, she had become the most delightful person in the world. Which was good — since I was completely worn out from her childhood.

  13. Now I know what the future holds. My nine year old DD is making and setting leprechaun traps all over the house.

  14. I don’t think my mom ever had these issues. She’d give me money for my birthday and take me to the bookstore. I didn’t really get into makeup (just some nail polish), and I wasn’t a clothes horse.
    If it weren’t for the fact that I got into teenage rebellion and anger, then I would almost think I’d never been a teenager at all!

  15. I am Mama to a two year old daughter, is it wrong that I see flashes of these teen years already? Attitude, like it/hate it with me already.
    Yeah – the teen years are a little way off – but I had better start getting prepared now. Thank you for the tips!

  16. I love how you call it March Break in Canada; in the U.S. it is called Spring Break. I guess something called “Spring Break” in Canada would occur sometime in June?

  17. I guess my daughter, Isabel, didn’t get the road map for being a teenage girl. Maybe it’s because she spent grades 1-12 in a uniform, or maybe it’s because she has an older brother, or maybe it’s because she’s a math/computer geek. In any event, she doesn’t seem to be into the short skirt, manicure, face cream thing, although now that I think of it, most of the things I like, she doesn’t… except for “Shirl’s Mittlets” that I made for her for her 19th birthday (as per her request).

  18. Hmmm, I have 8,9,10, and 11 year olds. This makes me feel rather depressed, but these things are inevitable. I know! I’ll choose not to think about it. Ah, better.

  19. I agree with Adie. This seems to apply to all girl children, maybe with increasing intensity as they age.

  20. I only raised boys, so I haven’t experienced this first hand, but I’ve watched my nieces and this sounds just like them.
    BTW, boys like all the same things with the exception of creams etc.

  21. Don’t forget:
    6. Whatever they may have expressed as liking or not liking, be prepared to be told the exact opposite if you voice anything about it. Even if they just told you six minutes ago.
    14 year-old girl. Enough said.

  22. Whew! As you well know, these years constitute an important period of identity formation — and you, lovely Harlot, are “that” against which they form. Fortunately, you’ve raised smart, cool teenage feminists who will survive these years.
    And you will too!

  23. All of these are true for teenage boys. And you can magnify it when they are stepkids. Except face cream. Can’t get him to use stuff on his spotted face to save my life. I think he just likes popping them on the mirror… Ewww.
    Oh, and you can turn it to your advantage, though sometime accidently. I mentioned that I thought his hair looked great (quite the rebellion in Utah, where he lived before, not so much in California now…hehe). He got a buzz cut the next time he was at the barber. He really DID look better with long hair… sigh.

  24. My daughter wasn’t into the expensive rule. And she actually liked some of the stuff I liked. She also had a mantra that all teenagers need to learn, given that they seem to be embarassed to be seen in public with their parents. Anyone 13 – 18 please repeat: “I am not responsible for my parents actions.” You have to bear in mind that she has won a lot of “my family’s crazier than your family” competitions.

  25. Another, “hear, hear!”
    They are so worth it though, arent’ they?! 🙂
    And, Joey, at 4:12, brace yourself because my now 20-year-old was just like that. At age 6, when clothes shopping for back-to-school, she refused anything that wasn’t DKNY. Thank god TJMaxx had a ton of that stuff. I mean, how did she even KNOW??!! (I shop at TJ & Target, etc.,so it was NOT me!)

  26. Rule four also applies to “spending time together”, I found, at least when I was a teen. I feel badly about it now, but what I liked most as a teen was not being around my mother.

  27. Revised for boy teens (though one of mine will be 20 in ten short days!):
    1. Expensive things. The more money it costs, the better they like it. I use this to my advantage by making sure I complain bitterly about the expense. Makes them feel special when I fold and buy whatever it is, even though I was always going to buy whatever it was. and even though it isn’t very expensive.
    2. They like stuff that has to do with their video games, movie or tv show of the moment, or is gross. Listening to long discourses on any of the above and keeping your brain in it enough to ask a relevant question from time to time may lead to a real (read interesting to a middle-aged woman) conversation.
    3. They will love it if you hate it. This often leads to long, pointless discussions wherein you regret having not used the word “usually” rather than something more definitive. It’s amazing what is cause for an explanation of how very wrong you really are.
    4. If you love it, they will hate it. See above.
    5. They will love it if you look really stupid in it, near it, by it, around it or can’t do it. (This, I believe, is the primary draw of skateboards.) **This is a win with boys, actually, they love if you will attempt a game, activity, an explosion noise. They will be sweet and encouraging and helpful to get you to do it. Then they can barely control their giggles, but at least it makes them happy!

  28. As I former high school teacher, I like teens. I am greatly looking forward to embarassing the hell out of mine, when they grow that old.
    I am sure knitting will be a fundamental part of that. Just knitted a Union Jack faux-hawk, and my 6 year old is so relieved that it doesn’t fit him.

  29. have a great break! never fear once we become women and start having babies we all need our mommies again 🙂 if only for the babysitting!

  30. As a teenage girl, I don’t think you’re being strictly fair here. Teenage girls also like:
    1) resting. The best gift you can give a teenage girl is time to herself. Give her at least one or two days in which she is allowed to do nothing but relax.
    2) competition. Challange your teenage girl (this would be Sam, would it not?) to beat you at Scrabble, bake better brownies than you (that one might just be me), knit a sleeve faster than you (again, that might just be me), et cetera.
    3) mocking things. Take her to a museum and laugh at ugly art, never-ending blurbs explaining what an object is, and old-fashioned dresses that look like they would take four hours to put on. Be creative. Mocking stupidity never gets old (if all else fails, rent Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. It’s hard not to mock that)
    4) food. Especially if it is wildly unhealthy (teenage anorexia? Not a chance). Peculiar ice cream flavours are amusing (Nanimo bar! Cinnamon!), but anything you would normally say not to eat is a go.
    5) rest. Did I mention rest?

  31. In my experience, all that also applies to almost-teens, as in my 12-year-old on the verge of 13-year-old. Here’s a good for you: she was asked during a home ec class (now called “Family and Consumer Science”)what sports her mother plays. Her answer: knitting. She said it got the biggest laugh.

  32. This should go in a handbook for new mothers of teemagers. Certainly would have made my life easier. cd

  33. 15- and 13-year-old daughters here. 15-year-old knows your rules inside and out. 13-year-old is mostly snarky. I’ll be looking for words of encouragement and guidance at Sock Camp.
    Except I think all you’ll tell me is something on the order of, “This too shall pass”!

  34. I had a very sweet and fairly high maintainance daughter who was very girly (I read books in trees as a teen) and baffled me. But she loved to shop with me (odd, I know, I know) and still does. And they do outgrow the “can’t be like mom” stage. Mine is 24, and I am starting to look smarter by the minute. Whew.

  35. Wait a minute…are you telling me that things have really changed since I was a girl? And that was a very long time ago…miniskirts, Beatles and London Bridge bangs. Amazing.

  36. Based on the teenager I was growing up, my mother’s greatest wish was that I would have a daughter just like me and that she would also need braces (another story altogether). Showed her – we had alpacas instead.

  37. Prebyteria, teenage boys like the list (except for the smearing stuff on themselves), anything they can sit and stare at (it helps if the thumbs are somehow involved with this) and anything with the word AXE in it, including deodarant.

  38. I had four boys(!) who are now men and can say that the list is similar, but change #2 to read – stuff to do to their vehicles – make them bigger, shinier, louder, etc. Boys are all about anything that makes them more manly (seeming).

  39. My daughter is home from college this week, too, and I concur with much of your post. We had mani/pedis the other day and we’re going dress shopping tomorrow. I know there will be issues over the length of said dress. Ugh.

  40. Ah, yes! I remember it well… and more than occasionally with fondness.
    Look at it from their side: They have a bright,worldly mother. I used to tell mine, “I’m sorry you have to do things even you realize are stupid in order to celebrate your independence. It must be hard to separate from someone whose world view is so similar to your own.”

  41. My boys are home for break this week too. Let me add to the mix…… If the activity requires a motor, it moves to the front of the line. If I bake it from scratch and they don’t have to stand in line for it, they will be home for dinner 🙂

  42. I am the proud mother of triplets, 26 yr old triplets. We survived with lots of humor and love. I think you will do fine too :^)

  43. As a teenaged girl, I would like to say that I have always hated #2, #3 and #4 definitely applied when I was 13 but now, at 19, my parents and I share many tastes and interests, #5 makes me more embarrassed than anything else, and while I can be made to feel special by #1, if someone brings up how expensive something is, I will feel too guilty to properly enjoy it. So. Could we please not stereotype?

  44. I am stumped. I am one of two girls and each of us has had three boys. I need the rules. So far I have come up with this. The money rule applies to both sexes. If it is expensive it is golden. I agree with Dianne, if it requires a motor they love it. Cooking ditto. So I think we pretty much have the boys rules between the two of us.
    KIDS, whew…
    BTW – we just survived our spring break, the kids are back in school as of yesterday! I did not spend enough time with them.

  45. You have no idea how much I needed this today. We are on DAY TWO of Spring Break at our house. My teen girls are taking turns driving me crazy. They seem to have no friends, and want to take me away from my spinning every other second for something stupid. Right now, one is practicing the same piano piece over and over again, and the other is designing a moving logo for her video production company. A normal person would think that neither of those things would involve constant bickering. A mother, however, would recognize it for the whining, bossing, hissing cesspool of teenage angst that it really is.
    I don’t know if I have enough Valium to last me until they go to college.

  46. I have 2 boys. No girls. Everything you said about they love it, we hate it or we love it, they hate it goes.

  47. My younger one is the complete opposite of Mom. And at age 13, she was so bad that I told her I couldn’t take it much longer. She had two years, and then she’d have to have figured it out. OK, she said–and although she wasn’t great after that, she sure was a lot better. At 17 she became an exchange student to escape us and discovered in the process that her family is actually pretty good. She’s 22 now, and a lovely human, probably because she lives on the other side of the country.

  48. My baby boy just turned 18. Bittersweet day. I would add about teen boys that they think about their hair more than I ever dreamed. Read the sports section if you want to have in-depth(Ok, I fake some of it- it’s true) discussions with them. Now is the time to talk about March Madness. Say something like, “I still think MSU can beat UCLA”.This will cause them to begin a long discussion with you about how you are wrong and why. You don’t even need to say much after that.

  49. 3 girls, 29, 26, 24, still expensive, still worth every penny! Love that we all go out for mani and pedis.

  50. Just sent my 19 year old back to U Maine after her two week “spring” break. We had a great time but the breaks always seem to be about 3-4 days too long … that’s when we get on each other’s nerves, and I’m just praying “back to school, back to school.” But I miss her dearly now she’s gone.. argh, that mother-daughter thing!

  51. sigh…. could you offer insights into spending time with your teen sons this week? at least with daughters there is a remote chance that what they like to do might be something you could also remotely enjoy… tips on improving my road hockey dekes and xbox COD kills, anyone?

  52. Spot on! I have two daughters, one just turned twenty, and I couldn’t stop laughing as I read your post.

  53. Hah!
    Should I be happy that I’m having a boy? 😉
    Actually, your list probably describes my brother as a teenager better than it describes me at that age. So perhaps I should be worried…

  54. When my three children (two girls, one boy) were teenagers we usually went to the cottage for part of March break, where they were bored to death and forced to amuse themselves playing Duck Hunt (a very early video game involving shooting at ducks on the screen with orange plastic guns; yes, we have really old stuff at the cottage) or reading books. Or lying on the couch (the girls)kicking each other. There is no mall in the town closest to our cottage, which they whined about and which made me secretly very happy to see them suffering. Somehow we got through those years and my children are all now in their twenties. We all enjoy each other’s company. Oh yes, and both my girls knit!

  55. 1. Yep, got it.
    2. Yep, got it.
    3. Yep, got it.
    4. Yep, got it.
    5. Haven’t got there yet on this one, but will probably be true in future time.

  56. I’m the oldest of 6 kids in our family – 5 girls and 1 boy. There’s a year between each of us so there were 6 teenagers at one time – gotta love a good Catholic family. My Dad loved little kids, my Mom loved teenagers. Amazingly, my parents survived and are still sane and rational people! There is hope of surviving teenagers!

  57. So funny. I just took my two baby sisters, teen girls, and one of their friends to a park. I borrowed a big camera I’m not terribly familiar with and told them I’d be doing a photo shoot of them. I also told them they had to put on their makeup in such a way that it wouldn’t look like they were wearing any. AFTER I’d gotten the pictures I wanted, they could reapply their makeup at their own discretion and take more pictures. I told them they’d thank me in twenty years.
    Much to my surprise, they cheerfully cooperated, and didn’t bother reapplying the make up!?!! I, at least, had a great day. They, at least, gave the semblance of one.

  58. As the mother of 2 20 yr olds and a 15 yr old more power to you. I currently have 2 daughters home on break right now and am standing in the same situation as you, I am enjoying the time with my last teenager and enjoying one older daughter as she becomes an amazing young woman. I am all smiles as I sit here thinking of your day along with mine.

  59. Hang in there, if you can survive the teen years (of your kids) you can survive anything. I went through 8 teenagers- 4 boys and 4 girls. I can assure you it does pass.

  60. Amazingly surprised we got through this with little following of the “rules”. I must have weird kids. Maybe it’s the science fiction all over the house and World SF conventions they went to when younger. Those folks can out-weird any teen.
    1. NA 2. NA 3. NA 4. NA 5. They’d had to go pretty far for this to be true. Didn’t happen until DD was in college then she could out ski me.

  61. When my stepdaughters each turned 13, she moved out to her mum’s house. All 3 of them. Their mum didn’t make them clean their rooms, do their homework, or change their underwear. I made them do all 3, especially the underwear part. I don’t feel like I missed anything.

  62. Boy, your girls have you wrapped around their pinkies just like you have your yarn wrapped around your bobbins!
    Enjoy them! Mine just left. I’m wrapped too.

  63. I’m not that familiar with teenage girls, but as the mother of three boys, I can tell you the things they like are no easier to tolerate. Mostly, the noisier, messier, and more painful, the better. Paintball is, therefore, the Holy Grail of male happiness. They don’t get why I’m not ecstatic about crawling around in the mud, screaming at the top of my lungs, and getting hit–hard!–by paint-filled projectiles. They think I’m weird.

  64. Oh for goodness sakes. I may have just turned 30, but this is why I HATED being stereotyped as a teenager. Not all people are the same and this applies to teenagers just as much as to people in all other age brackets. In fact, being different is harder as a teen than at just about any other time of their lives, and its made harder by assuming that you know what they want, feel and think. So just treat them like people!
    Also, this contrasts very interestingly with the post about feminism that is only a few cm down the page. Isn’t CHOICE what real feminism is all about. Including the choices of how to spend money, and if, and what color to paint yourself?
    Just sayin’

  65. SO glad mine’s a boy…and still only four…I figure I’ve got about four, maybe five years before that all starts!

  66. My daughter comes home for spring break on Friday – 19 – and Stephanie has it exactly right. But I miss her a lot – it’s absolutely worth doing all that stuff to spend some time together. Mother-daughter pedicures are always a hit at our house, and movies I usually wouldn’t go to. Mine also loves hand knit scarves, which is great because the boys in the house (teen and adult) are totally uninterested in hand knits.

  67. I bet a shocking number of these will apply to my teenage boys as well. (Good thing I have a few years to prepare myself!)

  68. Ah yes. Teens are such a joy. Mine thought she was a teen since she was two. Butt heads much? That’s why I’m the mommy. Once she actually reached the teen years we actually got along pretty well. It helped that her big brother(and best friend) liked me and also that I was always willing to haul her and her friends where-ever they wanted to go. Bonus point there was that I drove, let them chose the radio station and kept my mouth shut. Amazing what you can learn about your children’s lives by listening to them with their friends (or by listening to their friends…) DD is now 22 and her brother is 25. They STILL like having me hang with them. I AM A SUCCESS!

  69. I have boys. God seemed to know what I was like trying to survive in the “girl world”. My sister has three girls…sometimes I play nice with my nieces, then I go home to boys…Thank God.

  70. I have 3 boys. They really are very much the same as girls. They like expensive stuff (mostly techy, computer, or video game things), They like stuff for their physical selves, like tattoos and piercings – not to mention weight machines and new colognes (which, at a certain age they apply waaay to liberally). They love that I hate the tats and piercings and the skinny jeans and ridiculous shoes. And the Justin Bieber hair. My guys don’t like me to embarrass them tho – but they will make fun of my lack of computer and video game knowledge to their friends. The thing is, I understand a lot more than I let on to.

  71. Had three teen-aged boys at once–one more thing to add to the list of what entertains them: flatulence.

  72. Shhhh!!!!! You’re giving away all our secrets!!!
    And, by the way, just remember, it is our job to embarrass our kids as much as is humanly possible.

  73. My boys–20 and 25 were actually quite human and humane when they were teens. Hard to believe, I know – but we did TONS of stuff together.
    We swam; went to movies; played games; cooked-ate; danced; listened to music; talked ALL night; laughed hysterically until we ‘p–ed our pants’; told jokes—and we STILL do.
    It was all worth it. They still come home !! yeah.

  74. Probably shouldn’t have put #1 on the internet. That game’s pretty well ruined at this point.
    More likely, they’re just going to keep upping the expense level now that they know you’re going to do it anyway!

  75. Loved your post today. My kids are post-college and almost done-college. One moved back home and is a busy 1st year teacher on spring break. The other comes home for a day or two now and then. Spending time with them is one of my favorite things.

  76. So I take it you didn’t visit a yarn store with your teenager? Nor did you sit and knit together?
    And let me tell you that teenage GRANDDAUGHTERS are no easier to live with!

  77. Actually, my teenage daughter and I have very similar taste in clothes. I asked her if she was bothered by the fact that I like to shop in the same stores as she does, and she said it’s fine until I start looking too old for what I’m wearing.

  78. Some of this is true for teenage boys as well. Particularly the contrary and costly parts. Glitter, not so much.

  79. I really did want my first comment here to be a nice one, but this is pretty insulting to any teenager. Some of us even knit and read your blog. I like to do things that don’t cost money, I prefer going to the art gallery then shopping. My mum borrows (or just takes) clothes from me, and I know that she actually thinks the boy that I like is a really good guy. It’s just as much of a choice to be a teenager as it is to be a woman.

  80. You’re a good mum. I am going to remember this list as my 3 girls are rapidly approaching the teen years.
    Your reward is Camp! 12 sleeps away for me and I suspect nearly the same for you.

  81. You’re a good mum. I am going to remember this list as my 3 girls are rapidly approaching the teen years.
    Your reward is Camp! 12 sleeps away for me and I suspect nearly the same for you.

  82. You’re a good mum. I am going to remember this list as my 3 girls are rapidly approaching the teen years.
    Your reward is Camp! 12 sleeps away for me and I suspect nearly the same for you.

  83. I do not envy mothers of teen girls… Mine is 9 and I dread the day she discovers boys, high heels and training bras!

  84. May I add more:
    They will take input from SOME adults, just not Mom or Dad. If a cute store clerk tells them something looks cute, they will want it. If YOU tell them something looks cute, it’s the ugliest thing in the world! (Knowledge is power, my friends! Get to know the store clerk!)

  85. Teenaged boys are a lot like teenaged girls except for the patronizing part.
    I try to like video games. I really do. I even found one that you have to stand up and move around for (thus something good for me). So the 3 of us are playing and I’m getting smack from the 15 year old.
    “Jeez, mom, don’t you have any rhythm? Can’t you move your hips like that?”
    Son, I’m going to be 50 this fall. I could move my hips like that BEFORE I HAD YOU!

  86. You are soooo right! But I’d like to add one to the list – They like things that are tiny…bikinis, puppies, mints, purses, shorts.

  87. Mine is 25 and she still likes ‘expensive’. Now she has to use her own money. My last conversations with her was “You’re going to do what with your income tax refund? “Are you nuts?”. Didn’t go over well.

  88. I love reading your blog because it makes me laugh. I love to laugh. Out loud, by myself, with others around, so loud it startles my family. You do this for me. A million thank yous!

  89. well said….I think my teens would even find it amusing!
    We stayed a night at the Delta Chelsea in Toronto. We ate at the hotel pub. The house band came on, Dad and youngest retired. My 14 year-old stayed with me to listen. The look of panic on her face when I proposed that we dance ‘in public’ will stay etched in my memory for life.

  90. I’ve got a 17-year-old male and we just survived our “Spring” break. How did we manage? He had soccer tryouts for high school, which meant (a) he was busy and accounted for 5-6 hours a day, and (b) he was exhausted most of the week. We gave him my car for the week because he needed it to get to and from his various practices all over town in the middle of the day. We fed a bunch of his friends several times — this probably falls under rule 1 because soccer boys who are training to the point of exhaustion are ravenous. We got his hair cut — this probably falls under several rules because it is expensive, deals with his body, and we like his hair long (the kid does have gorgeous hair). I occasionally show him how poorly I play various computer games. And last, but not least, I ordered a very expensive skein of yarn for him in hot pink and grey — he crochets but does not knit. I would try to fix this, but he enjoys the fact that I would probably prefer he learn to knit.

  91. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I snorted out loud at “Good luck and stay strong.” My husband (aka “the parent she will tolerate”) is going overseas for work for two weeks …thanks for the mantra!

  92. While your advice/comments are spot on, you might also take note of Lorraine’s comments. Truth from the mouth of babes!!

  93. Brilliant-unfortunately, some of which applies to adolescent boys(substitute the ing words you have for crashing, deafening, destroying…)

  94. I’m lucky. My almost 14 year-old seems to like spending time with me. Not so much her dad. He was going to take a vacation day on Friday to take the kiddo snowboarding. He’s probably going to work, she has so many options to choose from with her friends that even snowboarding (which she loves) is unappealing.
    I try to keep myself approachable. Her friends like me because I give rides, let them control the radio and generally don’t bug them. Her boyfriend talks to me almost everyday. It’s odd, yet comforting to have a teenage boy share his hopes, dreams, ideas, feelings. Sometimes, I’m just a safe place to vent. I didn’t expect daughter having a boyfriend, would be another child for me to worry over.

  95. I well remember my teenage daughter stomping around the mall, and me, feeling like my only role was that of credit card. It got infinitely better.
    My mantra was “It’s just a phase”

  96. I am forwarding this to my daughter.
    I’m sure she will appreciate it in 20 years time.

  97. My daughters are 17- and 15-years old. When shopping, I have trained myself to slightly roll my eyes and scrunch up my nose when I see clothes that I like. Sensing my disapproval, they are immediately attracted to the item!

  98. “Amazingly, it appeared that temmperamental 4-year-olds could be working out teen angst early. By the time she was 13, she had become the most delightful person in the world. Which was good — since I was completely worn out from her childhood.
    Posted by: Elizabeth at March 15, 2011 4:10 PM ”
    Oh please! oh please! oh please! (Prays fervently)

  99. Same goes for teenage boys only they like more mess, adventure and danger. Like why take a full scholarship to college when you might get to be a sniper in the military when you have pacifist parents? Why keep your work shirts and pants in laundry rotation when you can iron a dirty shirt for 3 days and get by? Soon, spring breaks will be a thing of the past. I can only hope for peace.

  100. Amen, Sister!
    Mine just broke up with a boy who actually talked to me, gave me all of his (and his parents’) phone numbers before he took her out to their first dance, and had her home 15-20 minutes EARLY every single time! I loved that boy….sigh.

  101. I agree with Mandymai….not ALL teenagers fit these stereotypes (she clearly doesn’t…) My mom and I got along fine and honestly enjoyed doing things together. We are both no-drama-llamas. Still.

  102. Teenage boys are a different ballgame. I have two (love them to death; so much less drama). Just need to watch movies they like (recoiling at appropriate moments if really good) and listen attentively (or appear to even if you have no clue). REALLY appreciate the “almost no drama” aspect of boys.

  103. Oh, you have it so bang on!! I have 3 daughters as well – all now in their 20’s and this made me smile so much….things don’t change!

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