Today marks the end of my mum-cation – the week I’ve had alone in the house, and it wasn’t until a text from my sister-in-law Katie, that I wondered if I did it wrong. Katie is Lou’s mum, and she said that since she figures that she’s about 20 years away from the kind of freedom I enjoyed this week, that she really hoped it had been a week of margaritas, long baths and takeaway dinners, and the minute I read that, I felt like I’d wasted an opportunity in the most horrible way. I don’t mind missing out on the margaritas, I don’t really care for them (tequila flashback to important lesson learned when I was 19) but when I thought of the idea of the takeaway, I was furious with myself for cooking.
The thing is, for someone as deeply introverted as I am, just this much alone time has been delicious all by itself, and there was something brilliant about still cleaning the kitchen, but cleaning it alone – or getting up in the morning and not encountering a soul, or thinking in a nice straight line all afternoon without interruption. I may not have had takeaway, but I did stay up late writing, curled in my office chair, long past the time when the company of my family would have reminded me of the hours that normal people keep. I felt like those were my treats, and I like that better than margaritas. (Still pissed about the cooking. Why didn’t I think of takeaway?)
The interesting thing was my knitting and spinning output. I had these wild visions of kilos of roving passing though the wheel. Whole sweaters flying off of the needles… at the very least I was sure I would finish Lizette. It only needed a front and short sleeves, for crying out loud. I would probably start and finish Flow, and some socks. For sure socks. And Omelet! I was free! I had nobody at home! I was only taking care of myself! How hard could it be?
Turns out, pretty hard. Between the riding (the riding takes up a lot of knitting time. I can’t wait until August. I’m going to knit the daylights out of August. August is going to be like a frat party of knitting) and the fact that just being alone doesn’t really change the number of hours a day I work (might have increased it, actually) it means something really profound.
All these years that I’ve thought that if only the kids were gone I’d get so much knitting done? They’re not the ones holding me back. I think the family actually helps me get knitting done. When they’re not home, I don’t watch movies, go places in the car… sit in the backyard and talk – all prime knitting time. Turns out I’m my problem, not them – but I’d rather you didn’t mention it.
PS. I wrote this post in the back of a cab, on my way to the airport. I fly to Vancouver today, and Joe and Sam fly to Toronto. 
Despite how much I loved being alone, I really missed them. I can’t believe I won’t see them for 5 more days.
PPS. I have Omelet packed for the plane. I think I can finish. 
How hard can it be?
Not too hard for the Harlot! Wishing you safe travels and fun knitters!
“How hard can it be?” is one of life’s immutable questions. No answer is possible. Have a great time at the Wet Coast.
“August is going to be like a frat party of knitting…” This sentence is one of many reasons why I enjoy reading your blog 🙂 Safe travels!
About time you stopped over in Vancouver instead of always connecting to Seattle! The weather is gorgeous, although a bit hazy. Looking forward to seeing you tonight.
there is always something to take you off task… funny how we think we will live when family is out of the house, we seem to function best when they are around, messing up the ‘thinking in a straight line’… 🙂
Most of the time I envision you living just down the corner from me, mostly because you’re so down to earth. And then you say something like Takeaway, I realize you really do live really far away. Honestly I never notice spelling differences, and I have gotten desensitized to the Chesterfield rather than the couch or sofa. But Takeaway? I have to add that to my growing dictionary of outside the US vocabulary. Thanks for the post, I am glad you got a vaca from the family, I hope the next 5 days go quickly.
“A frat party of knitting”–pure brilliance! Just be careful who you go to bed with, and be ready for a hangover.
I too thought I would get more knitting done as at the moment I have a few days at home alone, every week… all to myself. The reality is very different though for me too. Summer holidays are also only a week or so away and the boys home everyday for 6 weeks will change that again. Not sure if that means that I will get more or less done… probably more if the weather is wet (as is VERY likely) and they hog my pc all day but less if the weather is nice and we venture out on our bikes to parks for picnics etc.
Safe journey and happy knitting x
so true…oh so true. safe travels!
I had a total “Aha!” moment there! You’re right. The kids aren’t the ones holding back my knitting time, it’s my own habit of always finding “other stuff that needs to be done”. . .dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc ad infinitum. . . You always motivate me to knit more, now I finally understand why I think I never have enough time.
Safe travels, Harlot!
Your secret is safe. I often wonder the same thing – is it my fault for not getting more knitting done, or my husbands? I think I am going to stick with him being the culprit.
I so know where you are coming from – didn’t you find that time just went by even faster when you were alone too? I always do – like you I think I’m going to be invincible when I have time to myself, but somehow I just never quite get there! Enjoy Vancouver!
Helpful things I have found about a short time alone at home: it is important to remember that you pretty much only have to clean house once, because as long as you don’t mess it up, no one else is going to! Mid week works best for me, its not too bad yet(doesn’t take too long to clean up) and by the end still looks pretty clean. Also, going for take out means leaving the house, so I usually opt for cooking because I love to cook, and I hate having to put on real clothes to go out and not scare others.
Love your blog!! And can’t wait to see what kind of projects you come up with in your “knitting frat party” month!
As a single mom of five, I also used to think “just wait until the kids are all grown and gone”. But I agree, sometimes the rhythm of their lives is what kept me moving forward in mine. I don’t get near as much done living alone as I used to envision.
Now that you’re on a plane again, you’ll get gobs of knitting done. Same thing happened here last week. On vacation, figured I’d get tons done, didn’t happen.
Safe journey and happy knitting in Vancouver. I am on a mission to finish the shawl I’m taking to my daughter in San Diego a week from today. I am looking forward to “girls week out” and knitting on the beach. It definitely includes takeaway and small knits like socks and premie caps.
Don’t feel guilty for not having finished things you intended to finish. The main thing is that you had time off to recharge, which is just as important as finishing projects. Have a lovely trip!
I wish I was coming to your frat party!
Safe travels! I like to think that traveling means lots of knitting, but I’m getting on a plan next week for an overnight flight and I’m seriously considering not taking knitting. I will have my spinning, though.
Safe Travels!! I wish I was coming to Verb this weekend to see you, but it’s too late in the evening for that sort of drive for me
Why does a frat party of knitting sound like so much more fun than a sorority party of knitting?
“Frat party of knitting” made me laugh. That’s EXACTLY what I need!!! ROCK ON, DUDE! (Or maybe KNIT ON, DUDE!)
I no longer work outside the home, and I’m really bad at housework (although I love to cook). But I don’t seem to have more knit time either! So I know exactly how it feels! But you, Steph, are my hero – I do not know how you manage to fit in all that you do – you seem to be jumping on a plane every other week! Which, of course, means extra washing, ironing, etc etc; and you have time for the bike ride, your family, and so on and so on! AMAZING!!
I am having interesting visions of binge knitting.
It sounds messy. (Lots of chunky cowls, drop stitch scarves, and sweaters without swatches.)
Even better than take-away is a stack of frozen microwave dinners. You don’t have to leave the house or clean up. I love my mum-cations. I turn the kitchen into a dye studio and don’t have to clean up until I’m done or everyone comes home.
Clearly you have to learn to knit while biking. 🙂
See you tonight! So looking forward to meeting you in person.
I house-sit for friends now and then, and recently “sat” a house (and two elderly cats and an even more elderly tortoise) at the end of a private lane, with no neighbours. The quiet and solitude was absolute bliss; like you, I enjoyed getting up in the morning and having nobody to talk at me until I’d had at least one cup of coffee; like you, I also cooked, but that was because I could cook what I wanted to eat at the time, not something everyone else was eating – because there was no “everyone else” (I drew the line at joining in with the cats’ Kitikat diet!); and also like you, I didn’t get as much knitting as I thought for done either……..but that was more the fault of Fifty Shades Darker, to be honest, rather than anything else, because I was on annual leave a the time! Ah well, you’ll get Omelet done on the plane, I don’t doubt – safe travelling x
Welcome to Vancouver. I can’t wait to see you tonight and go to your lesson tomorrow.
Hate it when the schedules collide like that. Hang in there; they’ll have the house properly trashed for your return.
I so totally know the feeling. When there’s no one there to compete with for time, silly things take up all your time. My own personal time/energy-sink will end on 8/19 at about 5pm and I am trying to imagine how I can knit the snot out of August starting then.
But I am still spinning a little every day. And you know, when you do that, you really do get better at it. (and by you, I mean me, of course)
“August is going to be like a frat party of knitting” Best. Line. Ever.
“and there was something brilliant about still cleaning the kitchen, … or getting up in the morning and not encountering a soul”
I fantasize about cleaning the kitchen, then getting up and finding it STILL CLEAN!
Or the living room, or the pantry, or – especially – the bathroom.
Except for a week on a clean, white beach with tropical blue waters and an umbrella-topped drink in my hand, I’ve always thought that the best vacation would be for the family to go away and leave ME home!
Don’t forget to use the stretchiest cast-off known to knitter on Omelet. Seriously, I have never known a shawl block out like it.
Ooh, that’s a great knitting bag you have Omelet tucked into. Where’d you get it? Safe travels!
You are not the one holding you back from knitting all the time…it’s a little thing called “Life” that gets in the way! Safe travels and happy knitting!
Ha. My one chick IS long grown and gone, and for the past three days I’ve been baby sitting the youngest grandchick, who is 2. Oh, the glory of naptime, where I can actually get something done!
It’s really odd ~ this thinking that I’ll get more accomplished when the kids are grown. Mine are 33 and 30 now and are now living 600 miles away (both of them). I find that I don’t get nearly as much done as I used to when they were living at home. Enjoy them while they’re there ~ time moves very fast! Safe trip!
Safe travels, Stephanie! We can’t wait to see you in Vancouver!!
How hard can it be? Not hard at all. Just a person’s mind makes it hard. Time passes as it usually does, irrespective of our considerations. Take it or leave it. Live it or not. We all get to choose.
My one ‘mom-cation’ happened when all three kids were at summer camps at the same time and hubby was simultaneously off on his two-week summer military training. I did still have a daycare going during the day, but that left my evenings free–and you know what I did? Painted most of the upstairs rooms! It felt really, really good, and wasn’t something I could do with my own all underfoot–sometimes a vacation isn’t doing nothing, it’s doing something important that is different from what you usually do… Have a great time in Vancouver, Best, randmknitter
A Mom-cation is ALL about self indulgence! Whatever the latter means to you. I think what we end up doing with uninterrupted time often comes as a big surprise…what DO we decide to fill it with? For me it’s things I don’t normally do. Staying in my PJ’s, taking hours over breakfast with the modern version of the newspaper, the iPad. Enjoying the silence..oh yeah! And not being interrupted by anyone I have to deal with or anything that I have to do. Yep, pure self indulgence. I so relish it!
when I have some precious alone-time, I always fantasize about all the things I’m going to accomplish. Then I don’t get anything done. but I’ve figured it out — it because all I really want to do is relax and enjoy the PEACE and quiet and finally NOT DO ANYTHING, and secondly, as I get older I get far less productive. But you’re too young to use that excuse!
So looking forward to meeting you tonight (even if I did have to come from Peterborough!). Actually I am visiting kids in Vancouver but what a wonderful coincidence…
“Don’t forget to use the stretchiest cast-off known to knitter on Omelet. Seriously, I have never known a shawl block out like it.”
Seconded!! I bound off like they suggested, and REALLY regretted not at least going up 2 or 3 needle sizes. I couldn’t block any of the points into it. I’m still proud of it, but man. Stretchy bind-off!!
I’m sure August is thrilled about this.
And I can’t believe you didn’t think of takeaway (or as we call it down here – takeout). Gah!
ah – takeaway, which I believe is what we refer to as takeout. I’m sure you did better by cooking, though, healthwise!
Every year I take a two week vacation in June, and before the two week vacation I am so certain I will knit and spin like crazy and have tons of stuff to show for it. and every year I do just the slightest bit more. I think maybe it’s one of those knitting black-hole things?
Have fun and hope you get to see Joe and the kids soon!
See, you’ve hit on something i’ve been trying for years to tell people who have kids. They think i have WAAYYYYYY more hours in my day because i am childless. Um, nope. I get 24 per day, just like you.
And when i’m alone, everything falls to me, so while i might not have an many interruptions, i also don’t have any extra hands to help. Or mess up. Or help and mess up.
Takeaway can be great. But so can cooking stuff for you that you really love and the rest of the household hates.
Safe travels!
You had fun, you had time to think, time to work, time to just be! Now you’re on the road again, and I’m going to miss you at A Verb For Keeping Warm! (I’m currently in NC). Waaaa! Have a nice reunion with the family when you return home. Safe travels!
Tressa in NC
What I want to know is: Where’d you get the bag that Omelet is hiding away in? Did you make it? It’s VERY cool!!
Tequila is your friend – in moderation.
Rum on the other hand – eek!
famous last words…
*hugs* It’s wonderful, but it’s hard, when everybody else is gone more than a daytime.
I love your post title…something funny about that for a blog and about having it relate to your family…you know this will be THE post they all read! Love your knitting bag…those are o my colors. Also love that your readers are looking out for you…yes really stretchy bind off for omelet with larger needles…I’m going to make that note on my pattern…so now your readers are looking out for me to. Safe journeys.
I say ‘takeaway’ and I’m from Texas, but I also may blurt out ‘cling film’ and ‘bin bag’ so maybe those trips to the UK are starting to have an effect! (Have you had your tea?)
I’m sure that at least some of what keeps all of us Harlot Fans is the continuing identification with some small/large experience we share with you. It’s one quality that friends share, right? However, this column nails it…no doubt about it…Steph and Georgia: separated at birth. Sounds exactly like my life on those rare occasions when I am not functioning as wife/mother/daughter/nana…
A little off topic, but, then, not really: “Why I Knit”, an op-ed piece.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ruth-marcus-olympic-knitting/2012/07/05/gJQAAVKUPW_story.html
So excited to report that my friends and I will see you in Oakland on Sunday night. So excited!! Safe travels!
For once I am reading this and thinking,”See you tonight!” I’m really more excited than I would care to admit. I don’t get into “famous people” at all, but I’ve been reading your blog for years and years and feel a little giddy at the fact that I’ll actually be at your lecture tonight.
PS I’m Canadian and I say “take out”. My family’s from New Zealand and they say TAH-KEE-AHH-WAY (takeaway pronounced as if it’s maori) which makes me giggle everytime so when I read your post, I just pronounced it like that in my head.
Best thing about being alone-the ability to go with my own flow-uninterrupted. Its bliss. Doesnt matter if i’m knitting spinning or washing windows. I just get to flow along @ my own pace. When i’m done im happy with my accomplishments. Even if the accomplishments have included a nap. 🙂
Yes! This is my busiest, most tortuous, most insane work week of the year. And Sunday I get to hear what my brain does on knitting. Can’t wait.
BTW, I’ve asked my work knit sib to help me out by talking about knitting to help me cope with my work crazies. She has been a dear, discussing our latest project/vest from class, possible solutions, knitting in general, your class, Cat Bordhi’s upcoming class a week later (what socks and tomatoes have to do with each other, I guess I’ll find out), and helping me calm down. I can’t take a walk to clear my head, so talking about knitting has been it. That and dark chocolate. My Brain on Knitting. Now that is a drug worth taking.
Tequilla….dear God, it’s been 22 years and I still feel vaguely ill even discussing it.
I noticed the same thing after my husband and son went away a few weekends ago (they even took the dog – I was truly alone). I got nothing done, but there is a joy in not having to consult with anyone regarding the time or content of dinner and not having to negotiate what we were going to watch on TV. I got to stay up as late as I wanted to read in bed and then sleep in the middle of it. Bliss.
Did I miss them? Absolutely. Despite this little slice of heaven, I was thrilled when they came home.
Safe travels.
You enjoyed yourself, right? The problem with being goal-oriented is the need to measure “results “. Instead of just enjoying the experience.
I know exactly what you mean, when the pressures are off everything is off! Still, it’s good to have some time all to yourself, we all need that from time to time – just remember the takeaways next time 😉
Retired people are the busiest folks I know. Just in case that ever happens…….
I’ve done that flight in reverse and had to work later on in the same day after traveling. It’s a long, tiring day. I’m sure the Vancouver audience will be so very appreciative of your presence and the talk and teaching sessions. Best of luck!
Hope you have such a wow time in Vancouver that you will never again be able to pass through without staying for a week–or at least a weekend!
“How hard can it be?”
You like to tempt the Knitting Deities, don’t you?
I’m waiting for the day when I can take a “momcation” when I am actually off from work AND all of my children and hubby are away. The likelihood of it happening anytime in the next 10 years is slim. The kids don’t understand why I would want to be somewhere without them!!!!
Frat party of knitting? Cool. Invite me over. I’ll bring wine.
Oh tequila. I learned that lesson so well (also around age 19) that it stuck with my best friend too. So much so that thisway years later the answer to, “what do I want to drink?” is still NOT TEQUILA.
Safe travels!!
Don’t feel bad. I had about 36 hours kid free and I gutted both my studio and pantry. I’m such a party girl.
Famous.Last.Words.
We of The Blog love you and all, but I must say I think there is something seriously wrong with you that take-away didn’t even _occur_ to you. Really? How is that even possible? (unless you want to say at leaving the house to go out in the heat to get it wasn’t worth it…that I could understand. But there’s still delivery!)
“I’m the problem.” Ha ha. I testify to the truthfulness of this statement. When my husband takes the kidlets out of the house for a few hours, I always think it’s going to be a blissful time of feverish knitting; but no, I don’t even glance at my needles.
My knitting happens in the car, watching kids at the playground, or sitting around with other people. Who would have thought that an introvert such as myself would find such an introverted hobby and only be able to work on it in social settings?
Perhaps knitting makes socializing bearable for the introverted set? To just sit and feel awkward about whether or not I’m contributing enough (or waaaay too much) to the conversation makes me break out in a sweat. Add knitting to the mixture and that anxiety disappears.
Glad you got a mum-cation. They seem nice. I think my turn will show up in about twelve years.
You are wise, as always. Also, great knitting bag! (In the picture, with the orange and yellow swirls.)
funny what surfaces when one is somewhat alone. Also, I have a long plane ride and must get the knitting in order!
Tequila…never again!!!
By the way, I got all seven of your books in a package from Amazon this morning (I couldn’t find them in any book stores or yarn shops around here) and I was reading a bit of “Things I learned from knitting” (I know it’s not the first, but it was on top of the pile as I was rushing off) on the bus to work. It might be that the other passengers thought I was a bit weird because I was giggling to myself…! Stellar writing Steph! Keep it up! 🙂
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! You are in my backyard this weekend and I’m halfway around the world on holiday! See you next time, I hope…
My daughter is 10 months so mom-cations are short and knitting almost never happens. Usually I drop her with grandma, take a long shower, cook and eat an easy meal, start laundry or dishes and Aurora is ready to come home. Sometimes it ends after the shower.
Good news is the heat wave is past and the new play area is set up so hopefully I can get back to knitting this week (knock on wood)
Enjoy your trip and get lots of knitting done.
My dad used to ALWAYS say it was the kid’s fault we were late to family events.
Then came the time when we were teenagers and could drive and the parents went on a vacation and we were to MEET them at grandma’s house… and only the kids were on time. 🙂
Sort of ruined his excuse. Especially once it happened multiple times…
Totally true – I have my kids part time only and have for a long time. The week they are at their dad’s I do a lot less knitting than when they are around. I think its because I take advantage of that time to look after the house more, run errands, read uninterrupted and other stuff.
“the frat party of knitting” – fabulous.
Oh, how I understand the joy of simply being alone in the house! My husband is usually in the field thousands of kms away for weeks at a time during the summer, so I spend that time eating tomato sandwiches (and not having to clean the kitchen), watching British TV series (which he hates), and using his body pillow as I sleep diagonally across the bed. This year he’s still around as we build our new house. The kitchen is dirty every evening when I come home. -sigh- I love him dearly, but I miss having some “single” girl time!
I’m sure you got a lot of work done, which should translate to knitting time with the family, right?
Dear Steph, I just LOVE when you say things like ‘How hard can it be?’. It’s like the symphonic fanfare (dum-de-dum-dum) in the movies to signify that some completely un-expected adventure is about to begin! Not that I wish anything on you, but I look forward to reading all about it, Best regards, Cheryl
I think one of the best parts of being alone is that the kitchen (and the rest of the house) is the way you left it when you come down in the morning, or when you return from outside. Your cleaning efforts get to be enjoyed by … you!
I hear you and totally identify with you. I used to think – when the boys are a little older I’ll be able to get so much more done. Guess what? They weren’t the problem. They have long been grown with children of their own and I’m still trying to accomplish my ideal life. Somethings we never outgrow. Sorry if this info is a downer for you. Enjoy your children while you have them close. Moms long for the day their children are independent and contributing members of society only to realize that they actually miss and long for the ordinary days of being a “young family.” Of course then come grandchildren and a growing list of knitting projects as each grandchild is born. And the cycle continues. Enjoy each phase.
My husband is taking of on a week-long motorcycle ride soon. I took the week off of work. I plan to have as little human contact as possible… perhaps even none.
I’ll stock up on food he doesn’t like, get my favorite wine & beer and take the time to quiet the voices in my head.
I’ll miss him, but honestly I can’t wait.
I was home this past week and I did almost no knitting. I cooked (a lot), read a couple of books, but the knitting didn’t come out except for Friday and Sunday night. It’s such a weird feeling!
Please tell me that my fellow Americans did not bash you because we call it take-out instead of take-away. Take-away sounds much more civil.