I Still Think the Mall Did it

We’ve had a setback here, and I’m not sure it’s one that the Christmas Spreadsheet can recover from, even if I might.  On Thursday, when I went to the mall, I didn’t feel right when I left. My tummy was a little off, and over the next few hours it became apparent – as I visited numerous mall bathrooms in rapid succession, that I had a significant problem.   A rough night followed, and and even rougher day, in which – not to tarnish the fine character of this blog with nasty details, in which all points of egress from my person became involved to a rather dramatic degree.

The unbelievably horrific day turned somehow into a really horrible night and a really shaky day there after, and friends, I’m going to tell you something shocking.  I was too sick to knit.

There. I’ve said it.  I couldn’t do it.  For two days I couldn’t get myself anywhere but the bed and the loo, and for the day after that knitting induced some weird sort of motion sickness, and truthfully I’ve been mostly asleep anyway. Then Joe came down with the cold that I had before I had whatever H-E-Double Hockeysticks this was, and Sam looked super peaked when she went to school today and…

I guess I’m saying that I might have been a little smug about the spreadsheet. More tomorrow. I’m going to go make tea.

157 thoughts on “I Still Think the Mall Did it

  1. Ugh! That hit our house on Friday morning as well. No fun and everyone’s still feeling a bit funky but on the mend. Take it slow and easy and enjoy your tea with a bit of dry toast. Hang in there!

  2. Please feel better soon! I believe that bug is going around, I have a good friend who had something similar-sounding last week!

  3. I think you are saying the world fell out of your bottom. Wishing you better, hope you can soon start gentle exercising:
    Lift left needle
    Lift right needle
    move yarn
    Yay stitch
    Then repeat.
    Seriously – better now than in a week’s time. Sending caring hugs and love

  4. That is going around. It’s a really nasty bug but remember: you will eventually feel better. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  5. OK, Stephanie. This is an obvious Get Out of Jail Free card for Christmas. Trash that spreadsheet, kick back, and relax. Whatever gets done, gets done, and whatever doesn’t…. I guess it’s like Ralph’s Pretty Good Grocery- if they don’t have it, you really didn’t need it anyway.

  6. You were too sick to — wait. You couldn’t knit? Like, not even a sock? No nephew sweater, I get that, but…no knitting? Zero?
    Looks like Rams and I had better switch from a mission of avarice to a mission of mercy.

  7. ‘Tis the season, sadly. I’m with Beth at 3:24pm; you’ve got a perfectly acceptable excuse and explanation, so use it. Also – there are 12 days of Christmas, which I am perfectly willing to use to advantage when it comes to knitting gifts. Feel better, and know that you’re not alone.

  8. The spreadsheet was mighty ambitious, I’ll say. You don’t think there’s a swift recovery…you could always write a card to the gift recipient: “Your knitted gift is still a WIP. Sorry. Santa will have to make up for your MIA present. Will finish in time for Christmas 2013.”

  9. Oh, poor Harlot! Feel better soon. That Knitting Goddess will stop at nothing (or might you have attracted the attention of the Spreadsheet Goddess this time?)

  10. Oh dear. Yes, weak tea or gingerale, and dry toast. And throw away your toothbrush, and Joe’s and Sam’s too. They can harbour nasty germs and make you sick again.Santa can bring new ones. Take it slow and sleep as much as you need to. And get better soon.

  11. It was probably Noro Virus, which is quite common at this time of year, unfortunately. The best way of warding it off is to wash your hands thoroughly with hot water often, especially if you are going to places that a lot of other people are going, like malls, schools, hospitals etc.. And if you do get it, stay in bed, try and drink plenty of fluids – when we were kids, my mum used to give us flat coke to drink – it has a good amount of sugar and electrolytes that you lose when you are vomiting, and tastes good on the way in (and out, 🙁 ).
    Don’t try to soldier on with house work as usual – don’t cook for anyone else, for example. That way, the whole house is less likely to get it.

  12. I’m with Beth and Suzanne. Stop and recover, because it Will come back and bite you. Ask me how I know!

  13. We’re just glad to hear from you, you had us all a bit worried. You’ll get done what you get done and that will be enough. I hope you’ll keep on the mend.

  14. I had this back in February, and I fully sympathise. I will say that though this ick was “swift” and “violent” and all that stuff about egress you mentioned, it was over soon. When that “egress” happens, hop in the shower. Easier cleanup (none, actually!) and the warm water feels good.
    I am convinced that Gatorade saved my life–it was 2 AM and I was seeing double, I was so dehydrated. I was ready to call 911 when my husband (who was also sick, but about 6 hours ahead of me in the progression of sickness, and thus past the worst of it) got out to the convenience store to get me Gatorade. It was the only thing, liquid or otherwise, that I could keep down.
    I tell you this because if others in your house are getting sick, you may need it. Bless you all!

  15. You picked an excellent time to be too sick to knit and keep up with the world.
    I hope that the rest of the family doesn’t follow suit (there is only one bathroom, right?). And that everyone is healthy for Christmas.
    God bless and (long distance) hugs to all!

  16. You persisted through the mall while experiencing a Significant Problem? I take my knitted cap off to you.
    As for the Christmas knitting…well. Whoever said that Christmas has twelve days was right. I hear that it’s acceptable to send a wedding present up to one year after the wedding; surely the same applies to Christmas knitting struck by the Vile Nasties.

  17. I am so sorry you were ill, I was too, this weekend was horrible all full of bathroom visits, fever and no knitting. I knew I was really ill then! Hope you are getting better.

  18. So sorry for your ill health! Not being able to knit is seriously sick! I hope you are feeling better soon and that this nasty bug doesn’t make it’s way through the whole family.

  19. Too sick to knit??? My deepest sympathy!
    (maybe that spreadsheet was tempting fate?)
    On the positive side, maybe this means you will all get rid of your germs and be healthy for the holiday. Best wishes

  20. Oh no! I have to agree though – this is totally a Get Out Of Jail Free card for you. Anyone who knows that you were sick is going to be ok with knitted Christmas gifts being late.
    Feel better soon.

  21. So sorry you were sick. I had it too — twice — though the second time I could drag myself around. The first time I couldn’t do more than go to the bathroom and back to bed. Couldn’t even bear to drink water until late in the day. Ditto to those who said just do what you can for Christmas. Haven’t you wrapped knitting in progress before — needles and all? I’m sure your lucky recipients won’t mind a bit.

  22. If you’re too sick to knit, then you’re really sick. Rest, drink lots of fluids & get well soon.

  23. Feel better!
    As someone who lived in rural sub-saharan Africa and has been to 5 continents, here’s the illness advice I’ve picked up along the way:
    I hope you’re taking Pepto or something with bismuth at a minimum (or better yet antibiotics). I also HIGHLY recommend a strong course of pro-biotics afterward (particularly after anti biotics). Here in the US we have Ohira’s brand which is sold at Whole foods — a bit pricey but well worth it!
    Also – unless you’re at severe risk of dehydration — don’t take immodium. You want whatever it is to get kicked out of your body.
    Good luck and don’t worry about the knitting!

  24. Christmas is officially on hold until you feel better. Tell the spreadsheet to go hang itself. Rest and drink plenty of fluids. If you start going into knitting withdrawal, read a knitting magazine.

  25. Forget the spreadsheet. Your health is far more important then a spreadsheet.
    Remember there’s always I.O.U.’s you can give just in case.
    Hope you’re your old self soonest so you can start clicking those needles again.

  26. All i can say is I hear ya Sista! Everyone at work was dropping like fly’s last week and i thought i escaped it for my 7 days off….but i guess i was wrong, headache, chills, and now a sinus cold… ugh…and I’m heading back to work on Wednesday for another 7 days of bliss…not to mention the 3 hours commute daily by bus AKA “the Germ Capsule” with everyone sharing their colds……*Sigh* I’m guessing this Christmas and New Years will be spent with either myself still sick or my husband sick… You would think with it being -30 that germs couldn’t survive….i am soooo wrong, they mutate into some kind of super killer bug…..I hope you feel better soon!!

  27. I agree that you should trash the spreadsheet. You’ve been sick, really sick. There’s no point trying to be a hero and killing yourself. People WILL understand if you ask them to take on some of the chores you usually do. They love you and want you well most of all.

  28. Sorry to hear you’ve felt so horrid, but the way you describe it cracks me up. “All points of egress from my person” indeed. May your egress points resume normalcy anon.

  29. I’ve heard a bunch of people getting this strain of flu this year:’you start with a simple cold, then you get the flu.
    Tell the spreadsheet to shove it and give everyone IOU’s, maybe if you think that you can’t think of not giving out gifts, do simple little sentimental gifts. I gave all my friends one year boxes from the dollar store with little simple itmes that meant big things. For example: a bundle of sticks tied together meant that “friends ‘stick’ together”, and there was a penny so you’d have a penny for your thoughts and also so you’d never have to say you were broke. (although it’s not going to count for too much longer), and my favorite one was an eraser so you could erase your problems away.
    Feel better! 🙂 <3

  30. Oh, that hit my house too, working in quick succession through me, my husband, and then it landed on the baby, where it stayed. My poor one year old daughter was just miserable for a couple of days, and I’m not sure I will ever catch up on the laundry. I hope you and yours bounce back from it quickly!

  31. Get well Stephanie. I am a firm believer in the Feast of the Epiphany, Twelfth Night, or Orthodox Christmas, as it is variously called. January 6. When we were still at home, we called it Little Christmas. It’s a glorious day to give gifts. Today is a glorious day to give yourself the gift of health and rest.
    What I want to know is, who co-opted the name of that gorgeous yarn, for that rotten virus?

  32. Oh, that sucks! My mother was sick with the same thing last week, and she woke up with it again today. I bet you were too sick to knit! It takes a lot outta you!
    Rest. Get better. Kit slowly.
    And get Joe to make you tea. 🙂

  33. During bouts of illness I read trashy novels, nap, run to the bathroom, drink warm drinks, run to the bathroom, nap, read trashy novels, watch old movies that I have seen before, nap, run to the bathroom. Sometimes I take a warm Epsom Salt bath in between naps. I do not knit. One of the signs of recovery is when I stop looking fondly at my knitting and actually pick it up.

  34. WOW! That’s really sick when you can’t even knit. My sympathies are with you. Everyone I know is getting this wierd respiratory funk. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  35. Ended up in ICU last Christmas. Shopping not finished. Tree not up. What few packages I had not wrapped. No food in house. Got out of hospital on Christmas Eve. Grandkids and Kids all arrived and everybody had just as good a Christmas as if I had gotten all that done. They just pitched in and filled in where needed and nobody complained because Christmas was a good bit short on presents. After all, it’s not about the food, tree and presents, but it’s all about being together as a family.
    This Christmas – feeling great, tree up not decorated but will be, presents being wrapped, planning the menu, can’t find the stockings but it’s no biggie. They’ve been missing for about 5 years. They’ll turn up one day.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours!!!

  36. Stephanie, I have never commented on your blog before, (though I’ve been a reader for years). But funny stuff like this? “… all points of egress from my person became involved to a rather dramatic degree.” This sort of stuff makes me go through the whole explanation (“So, there’s this blog I read, of this woman who’s a knitter and a writer, and she lives in Canada, and …”) so that I can re-read it to my mom. Who then makes me re-read it to my dad.
    I’m very sorry you’ve been so ill, but thank you for the laughs anyway.

  37. Yikes. Thank goodness you are alive. Things will come together and Christmas will happen, so don’t fret girl friend. You will still be forever adored.

  38. When the blog didn’t hear from you for a while I began to worry (less so because of your victory tweet).
    I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. Hope the recovery in your whole household is swift and complete.

  39. No spreadsheet exists that could be a defense against that kind of an assault. Mine quailed in the presence of a surprise 90 hour work week.
    Hope you truly are on the mend!

  40. I’m so glad you are feeling up to tea. This virus is nasty, and it is everywhere – even in Denver Colorado! Too sick to knit is almost too awful to think! Be kind to yourself and know good wishes are coming your way.

  41. I am so sorry. Colds are bad enough, but nothing, NOTHING, makes one feel as if they might be dying when one can’t decide which end of themselves to point towards the toilet…
    I wish you the speediest of mending, and remember, just like the Grinch learned, you can take away the gifts, food, trees, and wreaths and Christmas will STILL come.

  42. Remember, a book or something can be a really good present… Take it easy on yourself and recover.

  43. I feel compelled to advise the commenters who are calling this a flu, that the flu is a respiratory illness. Vomiting and/or diarrhea are suggestive of a gastro-intestinal illness (as another commenter pointed out, often a Norovirus – no knitting association LOL). It’s an important distinction, as it’s technically much easier to prevent a gastro than a respiratory illness. The flu shot can really help.

  44. Oh, dear, I hope you feel better soon. Maybe some Pepto-bismol? Rest well, the Christmas stuff will get done eventually.

  45. Just had the same thing myself week before last. The only good thing was that I lost 10# because of it. Could not even stand the sound or the movement on the television.

  46. Oh goodness. I was sick with something about a week ago, and still have a cough that refuses to go away, but it doesn’t sound nearly as bad as what you’ve got.
    Anyways, I’m glad its seems to be on the upswing, and hope you’re feeling better soon.
    The spreadsheet may take a beating, but I think your gift recipients will understand!

  47. I know exactly what you mean! It’s like the act of knitting throws you into some weird vertigo or something. It has made me feel sick to my stomach, which is totally bizarre. Hope you feel better soon!

  48. Oh, GOOD. I’m glad your still alive. I was afraid that you got sucked into some mall version of the Bermuda Triangle. I was ready to put a call out to a rescue team in Toronto!
    I hope you feel better soon. Being sick during the holidays sucks. Been there, done that!

  49. In addition to the probiotics already mentioned, a short course of activated charcoal capsules available in the poisoning section of the first aid shelf dramatically cut down the misery. The toxins attach to the charcoal a dare egressed out.
    Hope you feel better soon.

  50. I second everyone who’s said it sounds like a Noro Virus. When you can start to stomach more than tea and ginger ale (Vernor’s for those of us from MI), go for simple foods (broth, toast, mashed potatoes). I got hit with this on Boxing Day a couple of years ago. Not fun at all!
    Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  51. Poor you. We’ve escaped so far, but there’s a lot of it about in the UK too, so anything may still happen. Rehydrating solution (salt and sugar in boiled water – recipe everywhere on the net) is the only thing that helped when the bug hit us all a few Christmases ago.
    Hope you feel much better soon.

  52. Please feel better soon, Dear Harlot! And DO NOT ATTEMPT to “catch up” with your planned Christmas Knitting—–this is really a nasty experience, and you need all the quiet rest and non-pressure you can possibly let occur! (If, in a couple of days, it is comforting and familiar to pick up the needles, that’s great, but get those expectations reduced.) And others are correct——there are Twelve Days of Christmas, and for a good reason!

  53. I had that bug last weekend. Horrible, and I agree …. too ill to knit. Time will help. Feel better soon!

  54. I send all my sympathy…but it could have been worse, just think: You could have been away from home! Perish the thought. I hope you’ve wiped the teapot with antibacterials and the cooking things you might have touched. Good tip about the toothbrushes….wipe off the phone, computer keys, door knobs, faucets. I know I sound like a paranoid Howard Huges, but these super germs are tough.
    Only tackle what you can and don’t think the world will end if your giftees don’t get their gifts on Christmas.
    Might I send another suggestion? Why don’t you start gift knitting in Jan. 2013 instead of waiting until the tail end of the year when all the stressful events are going full tilt. Divide your number of gifts by months, given that schedule you’d only have to knit maybe 2-3 things in Dec. Forget that spread sheet.

  55. Arghh. I guess that wasn’t you who left a puddle of yuck on the sidewalk by the mailbox…. nah, different postal code.
    Feel better! I hope you’re over the worst of it and all better by Christmas. People will understand about the knitted gifts.

  56. Sorry you were sick–it kind of sounds like food poisoning. Christmas is about love. Last year my sister was very sick on Christmas day, and cancelled our dinner. I scrambled around and found a nice pork loin in the freezer, cooked a good dinner for her and her husband, and me and my husband and took the dinner and some gifts to her. We had our holiday dinner a couple of days later and it was actually a lovely Christmas!

  57. Oh, Stephanie! In our family, we refer to this ailment as “both ends against the middle”, and it packs quite a wallop! I hope you feel better and are able to get back on track soon.

  58. “all points of egress from my person became involved to a rather dramatic degree”
    This is the most poetic way in which I’ve ever heard this particular symptom described.
    Feel better soon.

  59. How awful at any time, but just a week before Christmas makes it even worse. It sounds to me more like food poisoning than the flu. Whichever it is, I hope you and your spreadsheet are able to recover in time for Christmas day!

  60. I too have been too sick to knit over the last few days, but for me it is not a virus. I am heartsick for the sadness in my neighboring town of Newtown CT. We are part of a group on interconnected small towns in southwestern CT, and the weight of the sadness is overwhelming. I too have Christmas knitting to complete, but haven’t been able to make myself sit and knit. So tonight I have promised myself a glass of wine and to finish the second mitt for my son in law. Feel better Steph…and please pray for those families who have lost their wee ones, and for their brave teachers.

  61. I’ve heard that there is a really nasty bug going around. The best medicine is rest. The knitting will be there when you’re ready.

  62. The thing is, no plan is worth anything unless there’s room built into it for things to go wrong. It’s like planning a budget–there has to be wiggle room for when your furnace goes bust or your car unexpectedly dies. Hope you feel better soon; maybe this is fate’s way of telling you to relax and go with the flow.

  63. Great comment Carol. Considering what happened on Friday, Christmas spreadsheets (really?) seem futile, to put it mildly. Now is a time for stillness and reflection. If knitting helps meditating, please indulge but keep it mindful.

  64. bummer. I found one of the worst things about chemotherapy is that there are two or three days I don’t feel up to knitting, and knitting is keeping me sane through this. Fortunately I only have 3 treatments (of 12) left to go…feel better, Stephanie.

  65. Sorry to hear about your illness… I wish you a speedy recovery. Too sick to knit says it all, but glad you weren’t too sick to blog!

  66. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Stephie. So sorry to hear this. Do not feel bad about the knitting or the spreadsheet. I know, you will anyway, but I can guarandamntee you that ANYONE who gets ANYTHING knitted from YOU will be JUST as delighted to get it in January. And anyone who gets something knitted from you, if they know you finished it while you were feeling awful, would not feel so cheery about it. Ease up, honey, Christmas can last past the 25th.
    We loves you, girlie.

  67. I never knit while sick. I’m afraid of incorporating germs into whatever it is I’m making.

  68. So sorry. Hope you are feeling better, but know that recovery from these things cannot be rushed. Instead, may I suggest a perfectly viable (and legitimate) alternative? Celebrate the “Old Christmas”, January 7, according to the Julian calendar. Plenty of time to get well, knit, and celebrate, too.

  69. Poor you — I wish you and any other affected members of the family a rapid recovery. It does indeed sound like the dreaded Noro virus (I think we knitters should get them to rename it) so take your recovery period slow and careful, and yes, handwashing by everyone! As for the spreadsheet .. how about celebrating Russian Orthodox Christmas this year — it falls on 7 January, which should give you some more time. Or throw the entire spreadsheet out of the window and tell everyone you’re celebrating Chanukah this year (it ended last Sunday) and they’ll just have to wait till next year!

  70. I’ve been too sick to knit since Friday. But not because I have a bug. Its because of the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school. I only wish I had a bug!

  71. Take care of yourself first. I hope you feel better soon.
    You now have two options for Christmas: Either send the gifts when they are done (after the Big Day) or scrap them and buy something for everyone. Due to your current state of health, baking gifts may not be a good idea.
    Take care!!

  72. Indisputable proof that Malls are the Fruit of Satan’s Loins and you should never ever go back. If family members are getting sick all around you, it might be time to take care of them (and yourself)instead of stressing over the perfection you expect of Christmas Festivities and Gift Giving.

  73. Seems to be going around. My mom had a flu thing a few weeks ago, which cleared up only to be replaced by a rather persistent bronchial affliction. Then my husband went to NY to visit his family and picked up a similar flu thing from the niece and/or nephew, which cleared up and was replaced with a less persistent version of the aforementioned bronchial affliction. He’s currently not permitted in the kitchen during food preparation, and there is a moratorium on sleeping in the same bed and smooching as well as any and all fun things (homebrewing beer, seeing The Hobbit) until he’s completely de-sniffled.
    On the bright side, though, the quarantine creates a cat-free space for blocking Christmas gifts. They’re wool-sitters and pin thieves, these cats, and they aren’t happy if they can’t sleep on me at night.

  74. I’ve been worried. Began to think you were trapped at the mall stuck under a fallen rack of machine-made sweaters. I hope you recover quickly and that the spreadsheet forgives your extended absence!

  75. Stephanie, take care of yourself and your family. Everyone will understand. And we’ll pray for you.

  76. Welcome back! We were worried….and I still am, for a different reason. Be as good to yourself as you would be to Joe or the girls.

  77. I feel your pain! I’m just getting over the same thing, and i was bummed because of a wasted two days of knitting! Hope you bounce back soon 🙂

  78. I feel very sorry for you. But please keep that bug up north of the border! Your delicate description reminds me of being just post-partum and standing naked on the bath mat leaking from every possible orifice that can exude fluids – and then I started to cry.

  79. yup… posting ‘things are under control’ is tempting the universe to rise up and smack ya down… so sorry to hear your knitting is a bit behind, but I have complete faith you will get back on track. carry on…

  80. I hope you feel better soon! I recommend ginger ale and saltines, or the BRAT diet: bananas, rice, applesauce, toast – when you feel up to eating or drinking anything.

  81. Reminds me of the year that Christmas Eve dinner became toast. The same illness befell our family. If you were falling ill, you got plain toast for dinner. If you were on the mend you could put a little butter on your toast.
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your family. The spreadsheet can wait.

  82. Haven’t been keeping up with your blob (I know, my bad) Just wondering if you are still participating in the furnace wars with your family. It is Dec 17th and I still haven’t turned on mine. My daughter hasn’t complained but her face lit up when I told her I was thinking about knitting some slippers.

  83. Oh my goodness I hope you feel better fast! That is the WORST kind of sick! Especially when you can’t even use sick as an excuse to knit!!

  84. Oh no! You poor thing, you have my deepest sympathies.
    Earlier this year I dropped 7kg in 48 hours during a particularly nasty bout of Ohgodspleasekillmenow – unfortunately, it all came back once I was able to keep food down again… 🙂

  85. It’s totally legit to blame it on the mall. Nasty, germy place full of shoddy mass produced things >.< I hope you feel better! Drink lots of tea and veggie broth.

  86. I don’t usually comment because you get so many to read. But you make a sick day even funny!
    The dreaded bug is around and hits a family fast and hard!
    So far we have just had the cold part.

  87. OhMyGoodness! My head, body ‘n soul feel so deeply for you and Joe. My husband and I went through the same routine last weekend – me going down first, then he with the head cold. Thank goodness for the slight delay in his attack, it allowed for loving care, broth and 7-Up from him for me. Especially since the only distance I covered was from the bed to the bathroom and back.
    There is comfort in knowing that anything will feel better than that! What a way to truly appreciate Christmas. love ‘n hugs, bj

  88. Been there, done that. In fact, unless “all points of egress” included being convinced that your ear wax was being ejected, I might even have you beat. But at least it wasn’t Christmas.
    Remember–it counts if all of your presents are done by 12th night.

  89. Well I was beginning to worry that you never made it out of the mall, so I’m relieved on that point at least.
    Gastrolyte (or whatever oral rehydration fluid you like) is at this point your best friend. You need the electrolytes, not just water- so make sure someone gets it for you from the pharmacy.
    Big hugs.

  90. Some friends in Texas have had it go through their entire family; it seems to be going around everywhere. Feel better soon…. 🙁

  91. The best thing your family can have for Christmas is each other and your health. Take Care! You will live to knit another day!

  92. A friend recently suggested to me that I give one complete sock and a promise…I may yet resort to that! Feel better!

  93. I concur with many above: rest, relax, tea, hot bath, nap and repeat. Without a healthy knitter, there are no knitted goods, Christmas or otherwise, no conferences, books, inspirations, speakings, traveling, strange hotel rooms, beautiful lakeside retreats, sock meet-ups, spinning meet-ups and special sweaters knit for each of those and … oh, hmm, yep, rest, relax, tea, hot bath, nap and repeat. Take care.

  94. Hope all of you are feeling better soon! There must be some bug going around, since my husband and I BOTH had something similar this past weekend. It only lasted the weekend, though, so take heart and take care!

  95. I’m sorry you’ve been so sick and that the spreadsheet has been put aside for the moment. It’s a cage match and it’s always interesting to see who will win (In my case the spreadsheet always wins, so when you win I feel like a bit of balance has been restored. However I think using the word “horrific” in these circumstances and at this time is little out of proportion.

  96. Just get better. You know you can give knitted gifts after Christmas and it is okay, they understand.

  97. Oh dear – norovirus. Seems to be everywhere this winter! The best thing I’ve found for it is flat Coke (full sugar) mixed 50/50 with water and a spoonful of salt in it. Feel better soon.

  98. Ugh! What a terrible association with mall shopping! You will probably never want to go back ;^/ And now it sounds like you will have to re-prioritize your remaining time. First – your health. Second – postpone any knitting for babies/young children. They’ll never know their gift was late (and teens may not care that much either). Third – knit the gift that soothes your soul. Good luck!

  99. Now when you hand over one sock and a half-skein of wool, temporarily, as a partial-gift, you have the perfect excuse of “Sorry, but I almost died last week…”

  100. I went to the mall Sunday with dh to shop for presents, and now I’m sick with something similar. The mall is evil. I always suspected it, and now I know.

  101. At this time of year this is horrible. Don’t do a Hillary and faint and get a concussion. Just get well.

  102. Don’t feel too badly. The indomitable Hilary Clinton was laid low by a stomach bug! Get better and have a good holiday, and a very happy, knitty new year.

  103. I want to second what Amarylis and a couple of others said: This is a good year to start a 12th Night tradition and celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany, which conveniently falls on a Sunday this year.
    I, too, keep thinking of those families in Newtown who had their Christmas spreadsheets and now have piles of toys that will never be played with and clothes that will never be worn, and I fall apart all over again. The daughter of my former supervisor is one of the counselors working with the families, and she got on the phone with her mother and sobbed – something she can’t do while on the job.
    Stephanie, do get better, and know that your family will love you, even on 12th Night.

  104. Yes, we’ve had this on our side of the Atlantic.I hope it’s easing off now, but look on the positive side; it’s a brilliant excuse for Xmas gifts only being ready for the New Year!

  105. Ewww, sorry your sick. After I read your post I closed my browser really quick so I wouldn’t catch it.

  106. You are loved Stephanie, and this too shall pass. No knitting is not the end of the world at this time. Dry toast, ginger ale, Gatorade, rice, crackers, baby cereal (complex carbs)–I like Gerber oatmeal–all will help. The same diet as when you had morning sickness (remember that?) Let others take care of you for once..they probably hardly ever get the chance.

  107. Novovirus Going round on our side of the pond, too. NOT nice. Rest, lots of fluids. Hope you feel better soon. (Happy Christmas!)

  108. The spreadsheet is going to need a re-write, that’s all. A little less knitting and baking, and you will be back in the game. Hope you are feeling much better today!

  109. Rest, rest, rest. Tea and toast. Maybe a boiled egg. Twelfth Night is a tradition we’ve done for years. I heartily recommend it . . .

  110. What IS it about the holidays that brings on rounds of sickness?? Our oldest son was exposed to whooping cough, as in a serious exposure that means our entire family is on preventive antibiotics – damn the parent who didn’t vaccinate their kid! Then the older girls come home from college bearing nasty colds that they have happily shared with the rest of us. Grrrrr…
    I hope you feel much better soon and are quickly back to knitting. I LOVE the suggestion of Twelfth Night! An extra few days of knitting!!

  111. It’s making the rounds in Ottawa too… my oldest had it on Sunday and Monday and is only just now feeling better, but still really tired. I hope the younger one doesn’t get it too 🙁
    Feel better!

  112. Oh Sister I hear yeah! I had that horrific bug and today is the first day since Saturday that I can actually sit at my computer for more than 5 minutes. (Thats about all I managed yesterday.) And yes I was way too sick to knit! Not that I’m as fast or as handy with the needles as you are but I had a much easier Christmas knitting schedule than you did and it got blown out of the water. My son spent all last night doing the same things you’ve been doing, and in the same room too! I hope that you feel better very soon, and please don’t stress too much over your knitting. The people who will receive those gifts love you and I’m sure that they would much rather have you feeling better than be all stressed out about something that you had no control over. You can always give them the yarn and a picture of what it’s going to be. I know that will tick you off but what is a sick knitter going to do!?! Feel better very soon!!!

  113. I’m another who agrees with the Noro virus conclusion. I’m an RN and I got it at work last year about this time. It was one of the worst illnesses that I have had. Fluids, fluids, fluids. They will help you regain your strength back. Electrolytes are also important to get your energy back. Gatorade is full of sugar, but it (or something similar) will help. If it is Noro, it might be helpful to know that even if you’re feeling better, you shed the virus (via the toilet) for two weeks, so your family should make sure that the bathroom stays clean and everyone should wash hands constantly. Feel better soon. Don’t worry about eating, just make sure you get rehydrated. Your health is more important than a spreadsheet!

  114. Those gastrointestinal flu bugs are nasty critters. Rest,fluids, and when you can tolerate solids, canned pumpkin. Sounds crazy, right? But spooned right out of the can it calms the gut right down. A retired pharmacology professor recommended it to me when I was laid low with diverticulitis complicated by an explosive reaction to an antibiotic. Hope you and family are feeling better soon.

  115. The Blog is right: rest up now, it’s better to be sick now than next week, and WIP or IOU (or Santa OU) gifts will be okay. Your family and friends already understand how sick you were (perhaps because they’ve been sick too), and no one will fault you for not-quite-on-time gifts. Take care of you, and then you can take care of everyone else.

  116. Sounds like what went around up here in the Peterborough area. That was the problem you know. You went and surrounded yourself with filthy human types ;P I do hope you all manage to recover before Xmas and don’t have to sing renditions of “Vincent the Christmas Virus” (look up Arrogant Worms if you’re not sure).

  117. Please do rest, and get as much liquid into yourself as you can stomach. Re-hydrating is key to feeling like a real human. Been there, done that.

  118. Dear Stephanie, Soooo sorry you are sick! I was buzzing right along myself until I got the sickest I’ve been in years so sweetie I so feel your pain! Hope you recover quickly! Blessings and Merry Christmas!

  119. I’m so glad you’re up enough to write that and that you’re able to keep fluids down now. I always have to go in for an IV infusion when I get hit with that. Heal well.

  120. “If you want to make God laugh, make a plan.” And, apparently, “If you want to make the Knitting Goddess laugh, make a spreadsheet.”
    Get better soon!

  121. Damn malls. They always get you one way or another. Hope you are feeling better (and hope that everyone else in your house escapes a similar fate).

  122. Kefir, does wonders for digestion. Ever since I got kefir grains and make my own I’ve been a believer. Get well soon.

  123. That’s terrible. But I think most reasonable people will accept a picture of a half-finished project and a promise of completion, in a situation like this.

  124. I had it over Thanksgiving – I actually missed it, because I was so sick I slept for 5 days. My husband would occasionaly check on me and get me drinks. I really didn’t knit or read for more than a week. I’m really behind on the knitting!

  125. I know exactly what you are talking about. And tea is about all I could stomach (I know, you didn’t need to hear that word) for days. It’s a week later and I’m still a little shaky and very careful of what I eat. Tea and water are my drinks with the occassional coffee (which instantly upsets my …body). Take it easy. The knitting will still be there when you’re better. (Yes, I’m behind … ummm, lagging…too.)

  126. I know that feeling….
    Had it Monday into Tuesday of this week. Yep. Everything that could leave the human body..did..and quickly I might add.
    Luckily I did not eat much that day or the day before. I still don’t feel right, but, I did manage work today.
    I did knit on Tuesday am thougy. It kept me sane.

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