Tupper

I’ve been imagining writing this for days. I haven’t managed to come up with anything elegant, or amazing, or that does any justice at all to what has happened, so I’m not going to try. I’ll leave poems and thoughts for another day, when I feel more ready.

My darling uncle, Tupper McPhee, died on Friday.

He will be desperately missed. We knew it was coming, but it doesn’t do much to help.  Even with the warning,  we were not reconciled to the loss, and we are in no way prepared for a family that doesn’t include him, although we are very, very grateful that he is past his hard time.   In the end, he left he way he wanted to – assuming he had to at all.   He was at home, asleep, with his darling Susan beside him, and his steadfast sister (my mum) alongside.  The two of them deserve shining admiration for their care of him. They have been entirely in his service, and so strong it would break your heart to see it.

After weeks of waiting, I had decided together with my mum and family that the best thing I could do was to go to Colorado and fulfil my work obligations. Staying home didn’t help anyone, and would have hurt several people, and besides, we agreed that the odds were with me.  Unfortunately, I was wrong, and our Tupper died while I was on the plane, headed towards Conifer.  When I learned that he had gone I made the only decision that I could, separated from my family,  and unable to get home.  I decided to set it aside, and make my way through those days as best I could, without addressing it, or accepting sympathies. Special thanks to everyone who knew I was walking a line and was not too nice to me.  It’s sympathy that can put you over the edge, and I couldn’t deal with it.  Today I flew home, and I hope you will all forgive me while I take a few days to grieve, attend Tupp’s service, and finally be with my people.  We need each other.

Stephie (me) and Tupper. 1969. (It’s the only picture of him I have with me right now, and I do like it.)

Thanks for the time Tupp.  For the crosswords, for the books, for the invisible cows and the dancing.  I’ll do the stuff we talked about. I got this.  Have a good rest. I love you.  FFOHTL.

563 thoughts on “Tupper

  1. Oh Steph I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are comforted by your memories of your Uncle.

  2. I’m so sorry. I was at your talk on Saturday and you were just as lovely and funny as the other times I’ve seen you. Much love to your family as you grieve.

  3. So sorry Steph. I know you love him so much and your family will have a hole in it now. I’m glad he died peacefully with two lovely women beside him.
    I know what you mean about sympathy putting you over the edge. Take the time you need to grieve. This all happened so quickly. Know that we are all out here sending good wishes and lots of love and compassion your way.
    Tamara

  4. Condolences on this deep loss. Prayers for all concerned, and hope that the service provides a healing time for all.
    We’ll be here and only as nice as you’d like us to be. I know what you mean about sympathy sending you over the edge – my mom died in March, and one comment can still bring tears.

  5. take all the time you need. i’m so glad you are home and sorry for your family’s loss. take good care of yourself. <3

  6. I’m sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man, I know you will all miss him. Hold each other tightly, and we’ll wait here for you.

  7. May the love you share with him, and with all your family, surround you like a warm light; wrapping you in it’s arms when you need closeness and lifting you in flight when you need freedom. May countless happy memories of him come to overwhelm the sharp grief when the time for grief has passed. May the myriad wishes that are flowing toward you, from around the world, for all that is best for you at each moment of this journey give you strength and comfort. You are loved and we honor and respect you in your loving him. Peace

  8. My deepest and sincerest condolences on your loss Stephanie. It’s never easy to lose a loved one, expected or not. You and your family will be in my prayers, and may you always remember him with a smile.

  9. I can see a wonderful man, and an excellent uncle in that photo… loving, funny, and really, really cute. Uncles can be so important in a young girl’s life. I’m so sorry for your loss… yet I’m so glad you had such a great uncle.

  10. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I remember the chapter in one of your books where you talked about Tupper and all his carpenter tools being kind of like you and all your different knitting tools. A few years back, I lost my favourite aunt. I still can’t go to the Mandarin without remembering dining there with her (it was her favourite place to eat.)There is always a hole left when a loved one departs. My condolences to you and your family.

  11. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord; and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.
    bjr

  12. Sorry for your loss. Hope you can all take plenty of time for yourselves. xxx

  13. My deepest sympathies – When my dear Dad died, I tried hard to keep this proverb in mind: “Say not in grief ‘he is no more’ but live in thankfulness that he was.” May your memories become friends.

  14. Growing up I had an uncle who was my entire world, so believe me when I tell you I can guess at how hard it must be for you right now. Although it has been almost 10 years since he died, your post brought the memories rushing back.
    And although I am sad not to have him here, those memories are happy ones. Of camping in the backyard, fireworks and bike rides, long afternoons at the library, crosswords done in pen (!), scrabble, night time ‘ghost hikes’ and learning to ride a 2-wheeler.
    My wish for you is that once the immediate pain and grief have lessened, you are left with those happy memories like I am. I hope that eventually you’ll hear a song or see a title in your library you’ve completely forgotten about, and a flash of memory will hit you. But rather than being overwhelmed with grief, you’ll be filled with joy because, wow, what a wonderful person he was.
    I hope you take all the time you need to be with your people and grieve together, but also celebrate the life that was, and the life he brought to those around him.

  15. ..ps.. Steph! You and your family will be in my rosary for the next novena (9 days).
    bjr

  16. My deepest sympathies … may his memory be a blessing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  17. I am so sorry. Your stories of him have always been so vibrant and joyous and full of life that I could almost imagine having conversations with him even though we’d never met. Take all the time you need. We will all be here on the other side.

  18. I’m am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about the sympathy being too much. When my mother died, I was fine unless someone hugged me. It went like that for months, and sometimes still happens (she passed in 2008). As soon as I felt someone’s arms around me I dissolved.
    May he rest in peace.

  19. I am so sorry. So glad you had such a good uncle. Wishing all the love that’s in me towards you and your family at this time.

  20. I also have a maternal uncle who has meant the world to me my entire life.
    In some ways, he could not be more dissimilar to Tupper…he graduated eighth grade from a one room school, and went to work the next day. He lived with and took care of his parents until he was in his 60’s. He is still working in his 80’s. He would never call himself an artist, but he loved taking photographs and I am so grateful to have his photographic records of our family that span my childhood.
    Despite the fact that his sister, my mother, was a teacher, and he never even went to secondary school, it was he who is chiefly responsible for my love of reading. He bought me books for every birthday, Christmas, etc. *Good* books. Award winning children’s books. Books about other cultures. Books that probably had a lot to do with my eventual graduate degree in anthropology.
    His health is much more fragile now…a fact that he tries to ignore by doing hard physical labor like climbing underneath houses to work on pipes.
    I dread the day I lose him and am faced with the impossible task of explaining what a wonderful person he was, how essential to our family, and how much he loved and was loved.
    Sincere condolences.

  21. I’m so very sorry for your loss. You have borne this time with grace and bravery (even if you felt like you were faking it sometimes) and I know in my heart that you’ve made Tupper, and all your family, very, very proud.
    Thanks for sharing with us, and letting us comfort you when the time is right.

  22. Stephanie, I am so very sorry.
    From what you’ve shared with us on the blog, I know that your family was so lucky to have such a wonderful man among you. It seems to me there will be no shortage of memories to share and remember him by.
    You and yours are in my thoughts. *hugs*

  23. So sorry that you are all going through this hard time. When you mentioned Tupper in your blog posts or in your books, it was obvious how much he was loved and what a wonderful person he was. He lives on in your words, even for those of us who never met him.

  24. Stephanie – I am so sorry for your loss. You’ve written many lovely things about your Uncle Tupper, and I know he will be missed by everyone whose life he touched. Take care. Peace.

  25. Stephanie, I’m so very sorry. Losses like this are so very hard, but hang on to those memories–they are oh so precious as time goes on.

  26. Cry. Breathe. Hug your loved ones and be hugged back. Laugh, cry, laugh some more, cry some more, sometimes at the same time. Remember that you are loved.

  27. So sorry for your loss. There’s not much that anyone can say that will help with your grief. Just know that you are in everyone’s thoughts and prayers.

  28. Oh Stephanie, I am so very sorry for this difficult time in your and your family’s life. I was not that close to an uncle, but to an aunt. Aunts and uncles play special roles in our lives.
    I was at your talk Saturday. I don’t know how you handled it all so perfectly and professionally. I would have understood if you had canceled.
    I’m sending all best possible wishes and sympathy for peace. I know you are the type of person to remember, smile and laugh at all the great memories.
    PS — also sorry about the Colorado altitude being a problem!

  29. Uncle Tupper! I remember reading about him previously, and this compelled me to go look up some of your old posts involving him. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am sure your family will miss him deeply. Wishing you all peace and comfort.

  30. I am so sorry for your loss. My mom’s younger brother passed a little over 10 years ago and I love and miss him still. You and your family are in my prayers.

  31. I hope that some day soon the warmth and comfort of the memories will outweigh the pain of his loss. My warmest condolences to you and your family.

  32. My prayers are with you and your family Steph. May the love you all have for each other see you through these hard times.

  33. I had a huge loss in April and I’m still struggling at times with it. When you are ready try looking this up and reading it. Some days I read it like it’s a mantra and it does help a little. Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye. I wish your family all the best and know that you each will carry Tupper with you every day the way I carry my love for my friend with me.

  34. Please take the time you need to be surrounded by your family as you all grieve the loss of this special man.
    Thanks for sharing a sweet photo of the two of you. I never would have pegged you for a straight-haired toehead kid

  35. Steph,
    I am so very, very sorry to hear of Uncle Tupper’s passing. What a loss for you and for your whole family.
    Love and light to you and yours…

  36. Your previous posts and stories about Tupper and the memories you’ve shared here today are so touching and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your sorrow with all of us. How lovely that your Uncle can be remembered not just by your family but by all of us as well.
    Take all the time you need, we’re not going anywhere 🙂

  37. Sincere condolences to you and yours on the loss of your beloved uncle. Take care.

  38. Deep, deep condolences, Stephanie. Wise, strong decisions on your part, and admirable strength from your mum and Susan – although really, when it comes to it, what other choice have we but to be wise and strong?
    Poetry can help – some. From Mary Oliver’s In Blackwater Woods:
    To live in this world
    you must be able
    to do three things:
    to love what is mortal;
    to hold it
    against your bones knowing
    your own life depends on it;
    and, when the time comes to let it go,
    to let it go.

  39. Oh as soon as I saw the title I felt my stomach drop. I remember back to the Christmas when he got one mitten. Godspeed, Tupper. And may peace come to you soon, Stephanie. *HUGS*

  40. I wish I could say something that would help with your pain, but all I can think of is “I am sorry”. I am dealing with the loss of both of my husband’s parents this spring. Right now one of the few things I can do is read. I decided to go back and retread your blog, starting at the beginning. It has been a comfort to me, reading through your yearly Christmas panic knitting, the craziness of your book deadlines, the renovations to your house. Thank you for taking the time to share parts of your life with us. It is a geat story.
    I know you loved Tupper by the way you wrote about him.
    I will leave you with a few platitudes, maybe one will help a little. This too will pass. Time heals all wounds. Take care of yourself first so that you can take care of others. Everyone handles grief differently – give yourself space and time.
    Knit when you can. It helps you cope with the big things in life.

  41. What a handsome guy! With a name like Tupper, sounds like he had a very endearing way about him.
    Marjorie at 6:37… I was just thinking the same thing. I opened my book for sock recipe, and that was one of the 1st pages I came across.
    Deepest sympathies Stephanie.

  42. What a great picture! He has a twinkle in his eye and looks like a very fun uncle to grow up with. I’m really sorry to hear that he’s gone.

  43. I too lost a dear family member and friend this past Friday. This Wednesday the family will gather to celebrate her life and her love. And time will do the rest. Chin up dear one. You’re doing great.

  44. I’m so sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you and your family at this sad time.

  45. I am so very sorry, Stephanie. It is so hard, losing someone so dear that it seems the world should stop to note his passing. May the memory of his love and the love of your family help you all.
    Maureen

  46. Oh, dear Steph, I am so very sorry for your loss, and that of your mother and Erin and the whole family.
    Losing beloved family members is so hard.
    Know we are thinking of you and holding you in the light.

  47. I was one of the folks in the audience in Conifer on Saturday. We had no idea that this was going on in the background.
    You were awesome and we loved your talk. Our thoughts and prayers are with you – all the way from Colorado.
    Peace to Uncle Tupper and the whole family too.

  48. Thank you for letting us share this family moment with you. Thank you for showing others how it’s done…in this spread-out world many don’t have the example of an older generation to guide them through loss.
    And of course, please convey my sympathies to your extended family. Hugs!

  49. Stephanie,
    I lost one of my uncles a few years ago. He was only 42. I know only too well what you must be going through right now. Take the very best care of yourself and hug your family close. I’ll be thinking of you.
    xoxoxo

  50. I am so sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I remember the passage in one of your books where you compared Uncle Tupper’s numerous saws and woodworking tools to your numerous knitting needles and tools. He sounds like he was a really cool uncle. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  51. No amount of knowing beforehand and no words afterwards can make it hurt any less when it does happen. I am so, so sorry.

  52. I am holding you in my thoughts and sending you strength and courage for the days ahead.
    Peace and love to you and your family.

  53. I am so sorry. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy, a virtual hug, my thoughts for your family. May the peace you seek be the peace you achieve. (and thank you, once again, for coming. You made my year.)

  54. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Uncle. Take time for yourself and be with your family and grieve. We will always be here for you when you return. May Tupper be at peace and may you and your family find peace.

  55. So sorry, no other words to say. Will be thinking good thoughts for you a pond yours to get through this time. Hope you feel the love and healing being sent your way.

  56. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Hug those nearest and dearest to you a little closer. It helps.

  57. oh indeed- the sympathy will put anyone over the edge. Rest with your family and yourself. And know that not just out of sympathy- but out of love- there are many rooting for you.

  58. Aw. I’m sorry.
    hang in there Steph. and hugs to you and your family. So nice that he was home, with his love, in his sleep.

  59. Nice ness can put you over the edge. I’m sorry for your loss. Hopefully this time will bring you some peace.

  60. Condolences, Stephanie for your loss. Please take care of yourself and your loved ones. We will welcome you back when you are ready.
    Namaste.
    physicsmom

  61. I think this is the first post I’ve read of yours that has fully made me cry. I am so sorry for your loss. Be well.

  62. My deepest sympathies to you and yours please take the time you need. I’ll be waiting for you when you get to the other side and I feel confident in saying I don’t think I’ll be alone.

  63. Love, love, love, Stephanie. It’s the most powerful, forever thing we have as we navigate this life with those who share our time. Strong peace to you as you find a new way to be.

  64. I just want to add my condolences. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Light and Love

  65. Sending my sincerest sympathies to you and all who knew and loved him. May your memories bring you some peace and begin to fill the hole in your heart.

  66. You and your family are in my thoughts. We’ll be here when you’re ready to come back. In the meantime, we’ll keep a candle burning for everyone.

  67. Many condolences to you and your whole family. You found the right words here – the love radiates through them

  68. With Love & comfort to you & your family at this difficult time. We are never ready, even when we have been told. The most important thing to a person when they have reached the end of their life is to know that they have been & are loved. Your Uncle Tupper was & still is. My sincere sympathies to all.

  69. Take your time with this. It hurts as long as it hurts. Take care of yourself and your family first. Your blog will be here when you get back. Hoping you are comforted in time by the good memories.

  70. My deepest sympathies. I send love and a hug through the energies of the universe. <3

  71. I was also at your talk on Saturday, and it was so wonderful to meet you in person. I thank you for sharing your humor, joy, and love for knitting. You are an inspiring person, and I know it’s because you’ve been surrounded by loving and inspiring people. I wish peace for you and your family.

  72. How lucky we are to have such special people who make us feel special along the way! Godspeed Tupper! Love and light to those he left to carry on!

  73. Sending you lots of love, its so hard to lose a loved family member. I did smile through my tears at your comment on peoples sympathy sending you over the edge, I totally understand that feeling, and am glad you managed it through your committments. Your Mum and Aunt are amazing, wonderful woman xx

  74. First let me express sincere sympathy to all of you during this difficult time. Next I want to say don’t forget that it is all right to laugh as well as cry. As you share family stories and memories Tupper’s joyous spirit will shine forth among you, and he would want you to remember him with happiness. I have walked this path many times in my 70+ years, and the best comfort has always been the laughter.

  75. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take whatever time you need to be with family and sort out your feelings. It’s perfectly ok to be absent from the blog. We’ll all be here when you feel better.

  76. Grieving takes time – be kind to yourself. They say time heals all wounds – I think that’s crap – what time does is helps you find a path to your new reality, helps you accept what is seemingly unacceptable and helps you turn from the great sadness of the loss to the joy of remembering the times shared. Carry kleenex at all times.
    Hugs to you at this sad time

  77. So sorry. I do love the picture though. Thanks for sharing. Give a hug to your Mum too.

  78. I am keeping your family in my thoughts. I will be hoping you find comfort in each other and in your memories of your special uncle.

  79. All my deepest sympathies and best wishes to you and your family. Having lost my dear step-father to cancer late last year, I know all too well how nothing can make the sadness go away, and how unfair these things are. But know that we are all thinking of you and keeping you in our hearts as you make your way through this horrible time. Cherish all the wonderful memories, as I’m sure you are. Best wishes. xxx

  80. That’s a wonderful picture and a wonderful memory. I hope you reach a place where you’ll feel his presence again, and in the mean time, I hope you can find peace.

  81. Oh Stephanie, when I had the pleasure to meet you in Conifer I wanted to say thank you for giving your time to us when someone you loved was ill. In the end I decided not to do that as it seemed sort of intrusive and inappropriate. Now that I know what you gave up to be with us I am humbled and grateful. You are just as delightful in person as you are on your blog. We appreciated you very much.

  82. My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Try not to mourn his loss, but instead celebrate his life.

  83. What a handsome man, and what an enchanted name! Everything you mention about him in your post is absolutely charmed. He will let you know all is well in the loveliest ways. Meantime take good care of yourself and yours, esp. your sweet mum. xoxoxo Sally

  84. So, so sorry. Best wishes to all of your family. Don’t just remember him. Talk about him. It’s how you can keep him around…

  85. I’m So Sorry for your loss. It’s Just. SO. Hard. to lose people we Love! But their Love will buoy you onward thru the fog and shadows of the future without them. May you and your family be filled with Peace and Grace at the Blessing of Loving and Being Loved by your uncle Tupper.

  86. As long as you remember him he will always be with you. Listen to Josh Grobans’s song ” Remember me”. It helped me greatly thru a recent loss. Peace be with you . . . to you and yours. . ..

  87. When you mentioned a few weeks ago that someone close to you was fighting a losing battle, Tupper was the first to come to mind. I don’t know why, only that what I read in your voice in my head, it was the only person who I could think that you would be that quiet about.
    Hugs and good thoughts to you and yours.

  88. I am so so sorry for this loss. I reread your archived blog posts, from time to time (you write so well) and I have always loved the vacation posts from when you visited Tupper’s house and he was brave and got your DPN from under the deck, near the hornets’ nest. And the year he got the one really great mitten (just one!) and he was a champ, with both hands plunged inside it, smiling away. If it helps at all, please know that there is a knitter in North Carolina who is going to miss hearing more about Tupper. My thoughts are with you and and your family.

  89. Peace and blessings to,you and yours. The pain for “Tupperware” ends, yet continues with you. Keep,your memories alive.
    ————-
    I lost my father, 91 3/4, last Tuesday; I feel your pain.

  90. Those we love are never truly gone, they’re still with us and around us, sharing our joys and sorrows… we just no longer have the number to hear their end of the conversations….

  91. I am so sorry for your loss. I live in Ottawa and saw his obit this morning. To be honest, I noticed the ‘crust less sandwiches’ and then I saw your name – an uncle is so very special -and it is clear that you were very special to him too.

  92. I’m sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.
    There is no need for forgiveness, take all the time you need.

  93. All our best to you and yours during this hard time. You’ll be in our thoughts.

  94. Many ancient people believed that no one ever really died as long as they were remembered and their name was spoken. I know that your beloved uncle will live for many years through the wonderful memories and stories that will be shared by your family and friends. Know that The Blog is here for you, and we are all holding you and yours close in love and prayer.

  95. I am so sorry for your loss. Take your time, knit when you want to, cry when you want to. Talk to the readers when you want to be cheery, and we’ll give you things to be cheery about.

  96. A wise woman once said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.” It doesn’t make loss any easier, but it makes it seem right. The more we love someone, the more pain when comes the time to pay the piper.
    My sympathies.

  97. Pain is strong in the beginning…with time, it becomes an old friend….and then, you can feel human and move on…. I know… Love and peace to you…. I am so sorry for your loss.

  98. Getting old comes with a bag of burdens. Great sadness when we lose someone who means so much. Keep that picture handy Steph, it will help you get through this time.
    c

  99. So sorry for your loss, Steph. Hold on to the good memories & part with any others.

  100. Hugs and prayers, Stephanie. May your memories of your uncle carry you and comfort you as you make your way through this difficult time.

  101. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I am grateful that you came out here to Conifer and I thoroughly enjoyed your talk on Saturday. I look forward to reading your blog posts when you feel ready to resume writing them.

  102. Im so sorry to hear for your loss. At the very least you know he went peacefully in the night.

  103. Sit Tibi Terra Levis. May the earth rest lightly on you. That it happened while you were gone drags up my own painful memories of loved ones lost while I have been deployed around the world doing the Navy’s bidding in the name of National Security. I know all to well the pain of holding it until I had time to grieve. My heart breaks for you, and you will be in my thoughts in these coming days as you recover from this blow. We all look forward to your return, but do in anyway wish you to rush. Take your time, and do the things that you need to do in order to make your world right again.

  104. My heart hurts for you now.Just remember over the next while when, in what will seem an infrequent moment of clarity …just breathe.

  105. Oh Stephanie, I’m so sorry to hear of your family’s loss. From what you’ve written about Tupper in the past, he seemed like a wonderful, wonderful person. I know he will be dearly missed. Thank you so much for sharing him with us.

  106. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I will be thinking of you all and praying for you.

  107. Oh, I am so sorry. Even when we know it’s coming, it’s always such a terrible shock.

  108. thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. one of the biggest lessons in life, letting go with love!

  109. My heart goes out to you in your time of mourning. We’ll save the poems and prose for another day, all that you need to know now is that my heart aches for you and your family.

  110. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you want. We’ll be here when you come back… Hugs to you and your family.

  111. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Take time to heal.

  112. Steph,
    My sympathies to you and yours. Nothing but each other and time helps with loss. It is awful but it will get easier- you never “get over” loss but it becomes bearable. We have all been there or will be there as loss is a part of life. We will all hold you up with good thoughts, prayers and healing energy sent your way. Take care of each other and mourn together. Tell each other fun stories about your memories and celebrate his life.
    Judy

  113. I’m very sorry for your loss. When we lost my father in law this year, it was indeed the kindnesses that pushed me over the edge. We will be thinking of you and your family.

  114. I’m so sorry for your loss.
    May your memories of Tupper remain as fresh and bright as the love that created them.

  115. Uncle Tupper the carpenter, who had 14 saws? Super-condolences for your loss and thank you for sharing him with us. My best to your family at this time. He sounds like he was an awesome Uncle. Also, that picture of you two is so darned cute.

  116. So sorry to hear of your Uncle’s passing. To paraphrase Emily Dickinson…..
    If I should go while you’re still here, just know that I live on behind a veil that you cannot see through. If ever you need me, just whisper my name in your heart……I will be there.

  117. My condolences to you and your family, Stephanie, I’m so sorry. I know that knowing it was coming couldn’t prepare you for it, but I hope your love for him and his for you helps to get you through the coming days.

  118. I was so sorry to learn that the impending death was of your uncle. I know two things about the death of family members. There is a hole in your daily, yearly, holiday, whatever, life. But. . .that you loved this person and will continue to remember him means that he will never really be gone from you. Your memories will keep him alive in your heart.

  119. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  120. There are no words, dear Steph. Just know you and your family are in our thoughts.

  121. There’s nothing any of us can say that can ease this pain for you, but know that we’re all thinking of you and your family right now. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.

  122. I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  123. Oh, Steph. I send you so many hugs. So sorry for all of you. So grateful he is free…

  124. Dear Stephanie and the McPhee family,
    Tupper sounds like a man with a sense of humor, what with invisible cows and all. A guy who is willing to play with a wee child in a back yard kiddie pool is a loving man. I wish your family peace during this transition and time of change. May memories of him bring smiles through the tears.
    Sincerely,
    Mary

  125. I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss. May you all get the support and comfort that you need in this difficult time.

  126. So sorry Stephanie – I’ve been thinking of you. Love to you and yours.

  127. My condolences to your family. It’s good that you are back now and will be there to support your mother and aunt in their loss.

  128. My condolences to you and your family. Take your time, be together, remember the wonderful things. “Egypt loved the lotus because it never dies. It is the same for people who are loved. Thus can something as insignificant as a name – two syllables, one high, one sweet – summon up the innumerable smiles and tears, sighs and dreams of a human life.” – The Red Tent by Adnita Diamant.

  129. I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when my grandmother passed, my mother gave me this poem (I was 15 and very very close to her). It helped me more than I could explain.
    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there. I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
    I am the gentle autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry;
    I am not there. I did not die.
    By Mary Elizabeth Frye
    Many *Hugs* to you and yours.

  130. My deepest sympathies to you and yours. Loss is never easy, even when it is anticipated. I am glad that you had such and uncle to love and to be loved by. Thank goodness for memories.

  131. So sorry for this great loss. Deepest sympathy to you and your family. With love to all . . .

  132. Remember that he is waiting, in another room. He is happy, whole, and never felt better than his life on earth. He is only a whisper, or even just a thought away. Celebrate his life and remember the wonderful man he was, and how much he meant to you and all those who knew him. Take your time to grieve, The Blog will stand with you for support. Hugs.

  133. My sympathy is with you, your aunt and your mum and your family and Uncle Tuppers loved ones. It takes time to learn to say goodbye, is a song, but also the real truth about losing someone you loved and .. will go on loving. Death does not stop love in any way. It takes a brave person, a peoples person, to not give away their own grieve, when they are in public, like you, presidents, kings and queens and all the other people who have to act “normal” in public. You made us see what went on behind the curtains, your deep grieve hidden away, but there all the while you were doing what people came for.

  134. I remember your Uncle Tupper from various posts over the years. So sorry to hear of his passing. My deepest sympathies to you and all your family. xx

  135. You are bringing back memories of my Aunt Susan’s passing. She was the very best person in our whole family. Even now, five years later, I forget that she is no longer with us because it just doesn’t make sense for her to be gone. And when I remember it takes my breath away.
    I am sorry you were away from home and alone when your uncle died. It is very hard on the spirit to put grief on hold. Despite everything, you were brilliant in Colorado. Your talk was great and I so totally Grok the Sock now. Which is an amazing and wonderful thing and something my spirit needed right now. So I thank you for coming to us when you wanted to stay home.
    I’ll knit a pair of socks for my cousin Trisha, Susan’s daughter who has been drifting since she lost her mom, and maybe that will make something loving come out of your trip here during this sad time.
    Sorry for loss Stephanie.

  136. I’m so very sorry – there’s no good way to lose someone you love. My thoughts are with you and your entire family at this time.

  137. I’m so sorry, Stephanie. Can you please say what ‘FFOHTL’ means? It’s on his online obituary as well (Ottawa Citizen), and in other obituaries. I assume therefore that it’s important but I can’t find anything online that says what it means.

  138. I’m so sorry to hear this. All my thoughts and love goes to you and your family. Take care of you and yours!

  139. I am sorry for your loss. I am wishing you and your family love, peace and healing at this time.

  140. So sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone we love.
    Take care, and spend some time with your nearest and dearest…it helps.

  141. I am so sorry for your loss. I send you and your family strength to help you through this horrific time.

  142. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I hope the cherished memories bring you some comfort.

  143. I’m so very sorry. I sympathize because I lost one of my oldest dearest friends two weeks ago. It was very unexpected and I’m still trying to process it all. She was family. I hope that being with your family and friends brings you comfort and joy in this very hard time.

  144. As you take this time to grieve with your family, know that many who love you will be wishing you peace.

  145. I heart goes out to you. Having recently lost family members myself, I can understand your feelings of loss and disbelief that he is gone.
    Are you sure that picture is of you? You used to have straight hair?

  146. Deepest sympathy to you and all who loved him. I hope, in time, your memories of happy times together will bring you all some measure of comfort.

  147. I’m so sorry for your loss, Steph. I’ll hold you and yours in the light.

  148. I am sorry for your loss. May you and your family find comfort in celebrating his life.

  149. My sympathy to you and your family, take all the time you want to be with your friends and family.

  150. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

  151. 🙁 My condolences to you and your family in this time. Sending sympathies and e-hugs your way!

  152. As I posted recently, we lost our son in April, & nothing can help with the pain of the loss except to take time to grieve & to try to remember the good times. You can’t help but feel sad for the times you won’t have in the future, but eventually you will be glad for the times you did have with him.(& this is said only 2 months after
    Adam’s passing)Hugs to you,& to your family.

  153. I am so sorry. I know from holiday posts that he was a very special person to you and your family. I hope that you are finding comfort in fond memories with family.

  154. Completely understand about not being able to handle understanding kindness in such a time….me too. That’s what will crack you right open and sometimes it just isn’t something you can deal with right then.
    Peace for both of you. He is simply ahead of you on the path, not gone.

  155. Take all the time you need.
    We will all be thinking of you while you are gone, and we will all still be here when you are ready to come back.

  156. Deepest sympathy on you and your family’s loss of a beloved uncle, brother, son.
    Some day, the rawness of the loss will be gone, and you will be left with the many memories that his presence in your life gave you (and it sounds like there were some really fun ones there!).
    And I rather think that he would have expected you to carry on with your commitments rather than hover at his bedside. Life is uncertain, but it is meant to be lived…not spent waiting on the future to happen.

  157. I am so sorry. I remember one Christmas past when you had completed all the gifts except Tupper’s, and so he got one mitten and the promise of another. That, to me, sums up what he must have been like. Your loss is great, so mourn and know that you and your family are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

  158. I know we don’t live forever, but I think some of us should. I am so sorry that you’ve lost one of these people.

  159. My deepest sympathies to you and all of your wonderful family. Take all the time you need. We are all here for you and will be waiting for you when you return.

  160. I’m so very sorry for your loss. You are so strong to have carried on with your work like that. I’m glad now you are getting the time you need to mourn with your loved ones. Thinking of all of you.

  161. So sorry for your loss. I hope the universe blesses you and yours with whatever you need most in these difficult days.

  162. My heart goes out to your family. Please take as much time as you need; we will wait for you with patience and yarn.

  163. Take all the time you need. The blog will be here for you when you’re ready to continue. My condolences to all and my heartfelt wish for love and light to soften the pain. All in time – and working through grief takes time. Wishing you peace.

  164. Your dear Tupper has abruptly changed his radio dial to pure positive energy and can’t be found at his old station anymore. When the frequencies match up (when you feel really good)don’t be surprised to tune into him again. He’ll be there. Relax. Trust. Allow. The static will pass.

  165. Sitting here with tears running down my face, crying for you, for your uncle Tupper, for my uncle Tuck, whom I still miss a decade later.
    I’m so glad you’re home with your family now. May you all cherish one another and make it through these days.

  166. My heart has room to hold your pain & sadness. My shoulders are strong to hold your tears. Take your time to feel Any emotion that will come at the strangest of times. Always have Kleenex in a pocket. I couldn’t make it to Conifer but if & when you get to Denver, I’ll be sure to say ‘hey, how you doing ‘. Knit on knit on

  167. My deepest sympathies for the loss of your uncle. I hope you find comfort in your wonderful memories. Loved the photo of him with you in the pool.

  168. My deepest sympathies for you and your family. It’s never easy to lose a loved one, is it? You can’t really prepare for it, however long you know it’s coming. I send lots of virtual flowers and hugs to you all.

  169. You can never be ready to lose someone, even with advance warning. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  170. So sorry for the loss, Steph. I understand. My father passed away suddenly, expectedly & all too young on March 27th of this year. I’m still waiting for the ache to subside. I’m not sure it ever will.

  171. “Stars keep on shining even when you no longer see them” May the love and support of family and friend’s, and all your happy memories, bring you peace.

  172. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

  173. Take your time, we’ll be here when you’re ready to come back. Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

  174. I am praying that your family can find comfort and healing. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  175. Sending prayers and healing wishes your way. How blessed you all were to have loved one another as you did and do.

  176. Prayers and hugs, so very sorry that your loving uncle has died. May your memories keep him near and in your heart.

  177. Sending love, and hopes that how he helped you create happy memories will eventually let you remember those times and smile.
    Love, love, love, and some hugs for all your family!
    Katie =^..^=

  178. Sad sad news about Tupper….I hope you can take enough space for yourself to openly sob for days about the wonder he created for you and how profoundly you will miss that. The longer you can sob the better and more clearly you will be able to remember him as time passes…grief is so important to sit with and definitely. not. rush. past. Big hugs Steph….big big hugs.

  179. I am deeply sorry. All the times you mentioned him, I could tell what he meant to you and your family and what a great person he was. I wish your family peace and serenity.

  180. I’m very sorry. Those are simple words, and they’ve been repeated many times, but each time they are repeated they are honest and heartfelt.
    I understand about making decisions, going forward, and struggling to mesh personal grief and public work. When my mother was dying last year my brother reminded me and my sister that he was due to receive an honor at his field’s annual meeting. It was just about the highest honor possible. We said, immediately, that we would schedule the memorial service at his convenience. Mom was extremely proud of him, was thrilled about the honor, and would have been the first to insist that he be there to receive this award. (I know that a lot of people use that phrase as an excuse to do whatever it is they want to do, but we knew Mom, and we knew what she would want).
    It turned out not to be necessary; Mom died a couple of weeks before the meeting.
    I suspect that Tupper would have wanted you to fulfill your obligations. I know it was hard to make the decision, but please don’t beat yourself up for making the decision you did.
    My thoughts are with you.

  181. I thought about it all weekend Steph, and I knew that was what was going on. I am sorry for your loss. I am grateful that you were in Conifer, but I fully expected to get a call saying that it was postponed. I am deeply sorry.

  182. So sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful uncle. I’m glad you are with family now and taking some time off.

  183. Please accept my deepest condolences. I send them to you, your family & friends. It’s never easy to watch the passing of someone so loved as your uncle was. We all have to experience the sadness of death, as well as, the joy of birth. We would not be human to only have one without the other. The picture shows a happy ‘baby’ with a loving uncle and that is part of the memory that will keep you smiling when times are toughest. My heart goes out to you all at this difficult time. I send you all the warmth and strength of healing light. Peace be with you.

  184. My deepest symphonies for you and your family; my heart goes out to you. Take all the time you need to grieve.

  185. I wish you and your familiy all the solace and time together in this cruelest condition of life, that you have to accept somebodys parting forever. Nothing prepares you for that.
    When my parents died, I didn’t want people to feel sorry for my loss. After all, they had been there and died as loved ones. So far as I can see, your Uncle Tupper also died a loved person.
    Your family does still include your uncle and will remain so. I’ve lost several close family members. And we have never stopped being a family that included them. They influenced us, they had their special ways, they are part of us, albeit we can’t have them physically around any more. That’s no comfort at the moment for sure, I hope it will come.
    My wishes for you include some sort of strange thoughts of finding beautiful rituals like lighting candles in windows, reading book-presents of him or for him, going to spots connected to him, even finding one of these bath-tubs in the picture just for that slight connection to you as a kid, or maybe recite his favourite story or even joke. My brother did that with my parents and it felt so right!
    Take your time, Stephanie, all the time you need. And you know, that you are a loved one yourself, don’t you?
    Nanika

  186. Tupper lives on through the memories and the love. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of his joy through your words these past years.
    Sending prayers to you and your family until one day you all will meet again…

  187. I’m very sorry for your loss.
    It is clear that your Uncle Tupper will be remembered by many people with love and a smile. That’s really the most any of us can hope for. Living – he did it right.

  188. Stephanie, my deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  189. Thinking of you and your family. At some point this will suck less.

  190. I just re-read the post mentioned for 12-28-04. Wow. I grew up in a staid British family where the order of the day was being polite, responsibile and always doing things the “right” way. I am in awe of people who can fly by the seat of their pants and make it work. My late husband was one of those, as was Tupper obviously. He sounds like an amazing man and a perfect Uncle.

  191. “I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” — Jorge Luis Borges
    I sure hope so… because then so many of my people will be there waiting for me.
    Wishing you peace.

  192. Stephanie, I’m so sorry for your loss. What a gift to have such a strong bond of affection with an uncle, but that makes it hurt all the more. Your loving post here brought tears to my eyes, so I can’t imagine how hard it is for you all. Cherish the family time… God bless you.

  193. Condolences, of course. Hang with your people until you are ready to face the world….we will still be here.

  194. I am so sorry about the loss of your uncle. A passing of a dear family is always so hard on those left behind. I hope you find comfort in the circle of family and close friends.

  195. I am so sorry for your loss. Uncle Tupper has figured in enpugh blog posts that it seems we all know him, too. He will be sorely missed.

  196. Stephanie–
    I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and take the time you need. We will all be here for you when you get back.
    Love Always,
    Me

  197. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You have a wonderful photo of the two of you and a life full of memories of your wonderful uncle.

  198. So very sorry for your loss. You are right, he is past the hard part. Find peace in the memories and the love of your family.
    God bless.

  199. I just reread your post of many years back about Tupper. I think that your uncle has been put aboard another plane and, just like landing in B.C., he’ll find a home where he lands.
    My kids have lots of uncles, but one is the “funcle” ~ the fun uncle. Sure sounds like Tupper was your funcle.
    There are no words of condolence that can ease the pain of losing a loved one. Just know that many, many people are holding you and your family in their hearts today.

  200. So very sorry for your loss Steph. You and your family have the love, thoughts and prayers of all of us. Lean on that. Be blessed

  201. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. May he rest in peace.

  202. You have my deepest sympathies. I hope you are able to spend quality time with your family remembering all the fun times you had with your uncle.
    And since I personally think humor helps the grieving process (and I share your hair challenges), let me just say – look at how straight your hair is in that photo! There’s no frizz in sight! How did that happen?

  203. You know, I have spent a lot of time this year thinking (and trying hard) to be kind to strangers. In the past few weeks, I found that I have really, genuinely cared about what was happening in your life and hoping that whoever was passing was going peacefully. And you are all strangers to me. So I am officially coining a new word– v. to tupper. It means to live and act as if you personally know all the people in the world and that you have a vested interested in their well being.

  204. My sympathies, losses are always hard to bear and close family is the hardest. Stay strong with your family and know that you have all of our thoughts.

  205. Dear Stephanie,
    As a friend used to say when giving out two kisses at a time: One for sorrow; Two for joy. I think it’s so apropos for this, as you are sad for Uncle Tup’s death but glad to have your wonderful memories of him as well as knowing he will not suffer any more.
    My deepest sympathy goes out to you at this challenging time. May God bless you and your family and grant you peace.

  206. Wishing you peace and comfort as you grieve. I have a verse that I love but have always associated it with moving away from someone. I think i may look at it differently now.
    From The Hasty Heart by John Patrick:
    “As a human being…I’m the people I’ve met. I’m a mixture of everything I’ve read and seen. I’ve stolen a virtue here – and a weakness there. I’m everyone I ever loved.”
    A part of your uncle lives on in you.

  207. I am sorry for your loss, but happy that you had such a wonderful uncle. Take care of yourself.

  208. Deepest sympathies to you and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss but happy that you have been blessed with such a wonderful family. I know you will all comfort each other.

  209. Oh Steph…thank you for your wide open heart and all that spills out to water this beautiful world that held and holds Tupper.
    Gracias a la vida
    que me ha dado tanto
    me ha dado la risa
    y me ha dado el llanto…
    ~ Violeta Parra (Chile)

  210. Sorry for you and your families loss. Prayers and thoughts go your way!!!! Take all the time you need for you and your family. We all love you and respect your decision for sure!!

  211. I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle. Treasure the lovely memories you had with him. Thinking of you through this hard time x

  212. Do not stand at my grave and weep,
    I am not there; I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow,
    I am the diamond glints on snow,
    I am the sun on ripened grain,
    I am the gentle autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circling flight.
    I am the soft starlight at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am not there; I did not die.
    Poem by Mary Elizabeth Freye, 1932.
    So sorry for your loss, Stephanie.

  213. So very sorry for your loss. I had hoped to make it to one of the events in Conifer but couldn’t work it out. I hope you and your family are finding some peace, and send lots of healing thoughts your way

  214. Jijangbosal, jijangbosal, jijangbosal. May the earth womb bodhisattva embrace him. Kwanseumbosal, kwanseumbosal, kwanseumbosal. May the bohdisattva of compassion cradle you and all of your family.

  215. Wishes for your healing and that you are feeling the love from all of us and the Universe. May your wool give you comfort while you ponder this passing.

  216. ((((Hugs))))
    No, matter how much it is expected it is still difficult.
    You need to be with your family. We will miss you but we can wait.
    Penny

  217. How wonderful to have such a Big Love with your Uncle in your life all these years!
    Your love for him is quite evident-and his for you;( not everyone gives the gift of invisible cows) and that love is the beauty and grace and justice that honors his presence and memories.
    Thank you for sharing him with us today so he can be a part of our lives in this moment.
    Holding you and yours in my heart this day.

  218. This always gives me comfort when I need it.
    The Peace of Wild Things
    When despair for the world grows in me
    and I wake in the night at the least sound
    in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
    I go and lie down where the wood drake
    rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
    I come into the peace of wild things
    who do not tax their lives with forethought
    of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
    And I feel above me the day-blind stars
    waiting with their light. For a time
    I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
    — Wendell Berry
    May the blessing of your uncles life sustain all of you.

  219. I am proud to have met Uncle Tupper and shared a laugh with him as he pretended to be a grumpy old codger. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  220. Dear Stephie,
    I cried when I read your post because I was remembering my sense of loss for people I loved. Losing someone I loved, and it has happend many times now, left a huge jagged hole in my life each time and those holes cannot be filled. Someone who was always there in my life is gone. There is no way to fill that hole, nor should it be filled. Because that person held a special place reserved for them. What I do know is that over time the sharp edges of that hole soften and the hurt is no longer so acute. And then after a while I remember that person with love, joy and gratitude for all they meant to me and taught me and all that they gave me in so many ways and the pain, which never really goes away, subsides and it’s no longer acute. And I carry that love and those memories in my heart and it comforts me and inspires me to do for others what they did for me. So I offer my experience in the hope that it will help and comfort you.
    Louisa

  221. Irish Blessing –
    “Longtime Sun”
    May the longtime sun shine on you,
    all love surround you,
    and the pure light within you,
    guide you on your way.

  222. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know you loved him by the way you wrote about him. Perhaps there might be some comfort in knowing that your readers are mourning right along with you and your family. Take care of yourself, Stephanie, and know that we are with you.

  223. the picture looks like a premonition of the present. Uncle Tupper behind you, with a look that says “she doesn’t even know I have her back” and you sitting there crying, not aware that he is there to help. He will always be with you. My condolences to you and yours. Take care of yourself and your loved ones, as you always do.

  224. I too lost my maternal uncle this weekend and like Tupper we knew it was coming but it doesn’t make it any easier. As our family gathers to remember and celebrate in my brother’s words “one of the nicest people I have ever known and a most honest, hardworking, loving man” I will think of you and your family and hope that we both find some comfort.

  225. My 3 year-old is trying to understand death, and in talking with his older siblings about it the other day, his 6 year-old brother told him that even though we die, our love never dies, to which his older sister, an authority at 8, piped up “that’s true!”
    I’m sure his love is still in your hearts, however sad they may be at the moment. Know that so, so many of us are thinking of you. My condolences and best wishes for healthy grieving.

  226. You are dear to me, and so is the Tupper in you. That didn’t die. I celebrate it. And you.

  227. Oh Steph…I saw the top of the post and my heart broke for you and your family. ::hugs::

  228. I know I don’t write much here, but I do want to send a virtual hug to all of you.

  229. So sorry for your loss. Sending lots of warm, loving thoughts to you and your family.

  230. Glancing through the comments. What love for you, Stephanie. What could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said? It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry for your loss. What a great picture of you and your uncle. It’s great. You will miss him.

  231. Oh Steph, I am so very very sorry for your loss, and the circumstances of your being out of town, without your loved ones, when it happened.
    Please know: the whole, entire community of knitters, all of us men and women who love your words and are infinitely grateful for the little pieces of your lovely family that you so graciously share with us, we are standing with you now, our arms wrapped warmly and softly around your shoulders, and those of your entire family, supporting you and yours.
    We grieve with thee and thine, dear friend. Be well, and take care of yourself.

  232. So sorry to hear of your loss. Sending love and warm thoughts towards you and your family during this difficult time.

  233. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  234. So sorry for your loss. I am glad he is past his hard time now too. May your family do what they need to in their grief.

  235. Sending you and your family big hugs and condolences. May warm memories of him bring all of your family some comfort.

  236. It’s impossible to make the pain go away at the moment, yet he probably would have wanted that. May he rest in peace, Amen.

  237. I am so sorry for your loss. Just the other day, I was re-reading archives of your blog (looking for the thrummed mitten pattern and then kept reading) and read the first mention of Tupper in a Christmas entry. His mittens were the gift on the needles that year. Losing someone you love is never easy, I’m wishing you and your family peace.

  238. Will be thinking of you and your family as you grieve and remember. I’m glad you are home and with your family now.

  239. I’m so sorry for your loss. I always enjoyed your Tupper post he seems to have been a wonderful and interesting man. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  240. So sorry. Take the time you need, get and give lots of hugs. Thanks again for sharing with us.

  241. Thanks for sharing with us on the blog and thank you so much for coming to Colorado, and choosing to carry on despite your feelings of grief. I enjoyed meeting you then and will keep you and your family in my prayers in the difficult days ahead.

  242. I’m sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself. Grieving is such hard, tiring work and it still catches me off guard when I least expect it (my sister and my dad have walked the path ahead of me). I will hold you and your family in my heart.

  243. i am so very sorry. I lost two of my uncles in the last 3 yrs. strong, wonderful men that i loved very much. Please take all of the time you need. we will be here.

  244. You are not the first person who has said to me recently, after losing a loved one at the end of a long battle, that it still comes as a shock. May your Uncle Tupper rest in peace. May you find a firm and warm embrace in those you hold dear and may you be that embrace back to them.

  245. Dear Steph
    Our hearts are heavy for you – prayers of strength and peace and grace for your whole family. As you said already, he’s resting and he’s comfortably out of pain. Gratitude for the good times and we really wish you and your family the most peaceful of grieving times possible.
    xoxoxo

  246. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. Thanks for sharing Uncle Tupper with us.

  247. My deepest sympathy. How lucky to have had someone so very special in your life.

  248. So, so sorry. We loved him too, through you. Take time. We’re here.

  249. It’s amazing how sympathy can just make you crash. After I had to decide to put my dog to sleep, I simply posted on Facebook and said I didn’t want to talk about it. I was so grateful that no one ever brought it up to me. I wouldn’t have been able to make it through the day if they had. The only “real life” acknowledgement I got was someone squeezed my shoulder when class was dismissed and I still, almost a year and a half later, have no idea who it was.
    Take all the time you need. The Blog will still be here and those who aren’t, aren’t worth your time to be writing for. <3

  250. aww, I’m so sorry to hear of your family’s loss and even sorrier you couldn’t be there with them. big hugs to all . . .

  251. What else could I say?
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    People say time heals, and it will be better with time. From my experience for a long while you will not believe that, because with each passing day it seems it hurts more. But with a long-long time, it wil still not be better, but… it will be different.

  252. So very sorry for your loss. Will be holding you and your family close in my thoughts and heart. Sending hugs and love your way.

  253. So, so sorry for your loss. Much sympathy and virtual hugs to you and your family xxx

  254. I know that you are thankful for the time you and your family had with your uncle. There is no more pain or suffering for him to bear. Please allow us to send love and comfort in your sadness.

  255. I believe love remains steadfast and continues alongside us. It is a heartbreaking struggle for those enduring the loss and my sympathies go out to all of you. It’s a wonderful photo.

  256. So sorry for your loss Stephanie. Sending peaceful healing thoughts to you and your family.

  257. So sorry for your loss. It looks like he was a great guy; anyone who gets down on all fours to play with a small child is good people. My sympathies are with you and your family.

  258. My deepest condolences. Take all the time you need. The blog will be here when you are ready to return.

  259. I’m very sorry for your loss. Spend time with your family, think about the good times with your uncle, and take time to be good to yourself. We’ll be thinking of you and your family. ((hugs))

  260. Please accept my most sincere condolences, Stephanie.
    I ache for you for being “in transit.” I was “on the way” when my father died. Didn’t quite make it either. I was devastated, and I still ache to know I wasn’t there quite in time.
    I hope you are able to have healing time with your family and that, in time, when the rawness passes, you will see reminders of him with smiles and not so many tears. You were both lucky to have each other in your lives.
    Keeping you in my thoughts.

  261. I am sure that you are crying as you read these, as I am crying while I write. It is amazing how another person’s loss can bring your own back to you.
    I wish I could say something that would help, but I don’t know anything that does. Hugs from people who love you, I suppose. Get as many as you can.
    Not that it will mean much right now, but I think for so many of us, you sharing your grief lets us share ours, and there is a sort of catharsis in that for all of us… I hope one day you can find it too.

  262. I’m very sorry to hear about your uncle Tupper. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved family member. Last month we lost my oldest nephew. He was 29. It was unexpected but no matter how a loved one is lost, it is not easy.
    My thoughts are with you.

  263. I’m so very, very sorry, Steph. My aunt died yesterday, and even though it too was expected, it’s still hard to imagine she’s actually gone. I’ll be thinking of you and your family in the days to come.

  264. My thoughts are with you. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that very soon your good memories are stronger than your grief.

  265. Just wanted to say that I’m still thinking about you. I hope you and your family are holding each other close through this time.

  266. I’m so sorry for your loss, Steph. I have nothing original to say here, but I do know that memories are wonderful and that having your family and the others that loved your uncle around at this time is the absolutely best thing to do.

  267. The love for your uncle – wonderful tribute. You were an adorable 70 ‘s toddler and I swear your uncle is a twin of my beau at the time- he is a handsome lad. Hugs from Massachusetts.

  268. {Tight Hugs} for when you desire them. Michelle (6-24, 12:44am) and Carol (6-25, 5:57pm) shared the poem that I thought of sharing. It helped me when my grandmother passed, too, especially as I was unable to attend her funeral. Thank you for sharing your memories of Uncle Tupper with us. Take whatever time you need. We will still be here knitting when you return, and we are patient when we knit. :`-)

  269. Condolences on the loss of your Uncle. Keeping you and yours in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

  270. Some uncles are so very very special… I’ll be thinking of you.. Sending much love and hugs..

  271. Rest in Peace, Uncle Tupper!
    Stephanie, may your happy memories of him carry you through what I know is a rough time.
    Blessings to all.

  272. You poor thing, I remember the Christmas I read this blog and your uncle tupper only got one mitten. I have never seen anyone pull off one mitten with 2 hands, one cool dude. I’m so sorry you’ll be without him now, but he’ll always be on your blog. I know you don’t know me, but this made me teary and I bet your getting a lot of love worldwide right now. There’s a whole stack of good karma coming your way 😀 xxx

  273. I am so sorry that uncle Tupper will no longer be here in your life in the flesh. Do remember, though, that as long as there are those who remember him with joy and love, he is not gone, just not present with you.
    I know it is early for this but, as someone who has lost both parents and favorite uncle…this great jagged hole in your life will soften around the edges with time.
    Great love and peace winging its way to you across the miles. (((hug)))

  274. Goodbye, Uncle Tupper, thank you for living. It is hard, it must be harder to leave it. I remember when you’d mention him and I’d think “Uncle Tupper?! With a name like that, he must be one hell of a guy!” Tonight’s beer will be drunk in dedication to Tupper!

  275. I love that picture — family is a wonderful blessing in this life. I’m sorry for your loss and am keeping your family in my prayers.

  276. Speaking the names of those who cross the Threshold evokes their presence and their spirit as long as it is spoken. I will speak his name, Tupper McPhee.
    Deep Peace of the rolling waves to you
    Deep Peace of the silent stars
    Deep Peace of the blowing wind to you
    Deep Peace of the quiet Earth
    Deep Peace, Deep Peace
    May Peace feel your Soul.

  277. I’m so sorry for your loss. May the memories of a life well-lived bring smiles through your tears, joy through your grief, and remind you always of the love of Tupper McPhee.

  278. I am so sorry for your loss. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

  279. You and`your entire extended family are held fiercely in my heart. Your uncle Tupper did make the world a better place through his presence. Like so many of the other posters, I am so sorry for your loss.

  280. to Maringouin at June 25, 2013 2:43 AM
    I reached out to Omega Crom who had a song by that name. It means “F*(), Fight Or Hold The Light.” If someone else has another translation, please let us non-Canadians know.

  281. Steph,
    Sending you good thoughts and warm hugs as you walk this path, some people in our lives cannot be replaced. But, the memories become a warm snuggly pace to visit. Hoping you will visit that place and be with him often, and make the sadness go away.

  282. Warm wishes and good thoughts to you and your family during this difficult time. The love you shared is obvious and I hope that brings you peace in the days to come.

  283. I must confess your headline startled me. My nickname is Tupper. Some of my friends would be hard pressed to remember my given name.
    Please accept my condolences on the loss of a special person in your life.

  284. Wonderfully said sorry for your loss made me cry remembering my wonderful departed uncle everyone should have one 🙁
    Peace

  285. My deepest sympathy for your loss. Only words, but that’s all we have that is tangible. Please know how much is behind them for you and your family.

  286. Steph,
    Still thinking about you and yours and sending prayers and love to you. Grieve and comfort each other and remember.
    Judy

  287. I so love candid shots. They show a great depth and atmosphere that just jumps out at you from the photo. What a sweet picture, and what a lovely person he looks to have been.
    My sympathies Steph, and I wish you and yours much peace at this very difficult time.

  288. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. That photo is lovely and I’m glad you have happy memories of your uncle to carry with you even when he is gone. Much love to you and your family.

  289. Comfort and blessings…for you and all who knew and loved him. And a warmknit hug from Nebraska, USA

  290. So sorry for your loss! I’m sure that he is knitted firmly into the fabric of your heart, and that won’t unravel – it will keep you warm when you need it most.

  291. Oh Steph I’m so sorry – nothing that anyone says is going to make you feel any better right now, but please know that I’m sending you huge hugs and lots of love xxx

  292. My deepest condolences on your loss Stephanie. It’s never easy losing someone you love, and it’s especially hard when you know for a while it’s coming. I lost an uncle that way too.
    Know there is lots of love coming your way from all of us who’s days you brighten with your stories. We will be here when you’re ready.
    The picture you posted is a beautiful memory 🙂

  293. So sorry for your loss, Steph. Blessings to you and your family during this tough time. I have lost loved ones and can truthfully say, “I know; I understand”.
    Widowed August 2006.

  294. Sending a warm hug from South Texas to a special lady whose heart seems to know no bounds.

  295. My heart goes out to you and those who loved him. Take as much time as you all need, grieving hurts but holding it in hurts worse. We will willingly wait.

  296. My sympathies to you and your family
    And Happy Almost Canada Day
    I had the very good fortune to live in Toronto for three years. I absolutely loved it. I got to travel beautiful Canada too. I firmly a believe that being Canadian is what Americans should aspire too. The open mindedness, the acceptance, the sanity, the civility, you name it, I love it. AND when I had OHIP I never had an issue. ;)–
    For some weird reason i saw the note about that bizarre tired you were subjected to by some wacko a couple of years ago and it made me so mad. I had to write this. It makes me sad to see how crazed much of the US has become.
    Best to you, and again, my sympathies.
    Oh Canada!!!!!

  297. We all lose loved ones and it never gets easier! @*&)#
    Joining with family to share pain and sweet memories is the best we can do.
    My sincere condolences to you and your family.

  298. I am so sorry for your very great loss.
    I lost my aunt to cancer. She was 46, I 24. She was one of my best friends.
    Be good to yourself and surround yourself with those that also loved him.

  299. So sorry for your loss. May you find solace in knowing he has gone to a better place and is basquing in the Glory of our Lord.

  300. I remember when you wrote about one of your family Christmas celebrations, and had time to finish and give him just one mitten (with the second to follow soon). It was a cute story, but the love was very obvious. I am so sorry for your loss, but know he has found peace and you will as well. My heart is with you and your family.

  301. That sucks! I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss. You are all in my thoughts.

  302. Oh what wonderful memories you must have of your beloved Uncle. Hold tight to them as you go through this difficult time.
    Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time to grieve and take that time.

  303. My deepest condolences to you and your family in this hard time. May the tears wash away the sorrow.

  304. All my sympathy goes out to you and your family. What a wonderful life your uncle had, and what endearing memories you will carry on.

  305. I’m so sorry to hear the news. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  306. May God (or the universe) hold you and your family in the palm of His hand and give you peace. May He bless you with wonderful memories as you walk this path in life. And special blessings to your Mom and Susan for caring for him through his passing – it is a wonderful gift to give to someone you love.
    Hugs and good knitting!
    Helen

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