This may be a stretch

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I just sat down to write to you and suddenly realized the problem that we’re going to have together over the next few weeks.  I’m knitting a blanket. Blanket knitting is not always super exciting. There’s progress here, but seriously, I could take a picture from yesterday and whack it up here and you’d never know.  Not for a minute.  (Actually, not true. There’s totally one of you, maybe four, who are absolutely the types to enlarge the picture, count the rows and call me on it. You know who you are.)

(And that actually is a picture from yesterday so don’t bother. My camera battery is dead and the spare isn’t where I left it.)

Watching me knit this blanket is going to be like they decided to have a grass growing competition, and televise it. You’d keep tuning in and all they would be showing is the grass, and there would be this guy Rick, and periodically, Rick would lean over, measure the grass carefully and then say "no change yet folks, but we’ll keep watching."  Then, on the commercials, they would just promote the special documentary coming on after the grass growing competition, you know, the one called "Paint:  How does it look while it’s drying?"

I’m sure that eventually, I’ll screw up or run out of yarn or something, but for now, you just might want to brace yourself. This is going to be as exciting as the conversation that Sam and I keep having about clothing, her places for keeping them,  and the relationship that could exist between the two if only she would see that I am right.

919 thoughts on “This may be a stretch”

  3. It may be exciting but I love seeing the progress no matter how little or how much that other people make. It helps me stay focused on completing my projects & not just starting new things all the time.

  5. I see (I think) a provisional cast on. Why? What are you planning for the border? It looks lovely already (although I think almost everything you make looks fabulous)!

  9. I have faith in your ability to keep things interesting, screw-ups or not. And I’d rather be having a conversation with my offspring about clothing storage than one about job-hunting, which the one I’m having on a daily basis with my son.

  10. So are those of us who would count the rows, but not actually say anything to you counted in the 4?

  14. You keep on with the project, we won’t leave you. We’re still waiting on updates about Joe’s gansey… Looong attention spans around here.

  15. So, do you and Sam have a conversation about yarn, your places for keeping it, and the relationship that could exist between the two?
    You could throw out a rant on a topic and see where The Blog takes it…

  16. I’m laughing over the suggestions above, for things you might blog about during the blanket knitting. Especially the comment about Joe’s gansey… The baby blanket will be wonderful! And I’m happy to look at pictures of it as it grows. 🙂

  17. The exciting part is usually the part where you try to actually KEEP knitting the thing you’re aiming to finish, without being woo-ed by a delicious pair of socks or some perfect hat that will only take an hour or two, just to take the edge off all of that repetitive white..

  18. It is kind of like knitting a sleeve. You just keep on knitting, it stays 11 inches long for EVER, and then, suddenly, it is 1/2 an inch longer than you planned. Happy blanket knitting! We will applaud at the appropriate time.

  19. If you’ve ever been to Texas, you know how much people DO care about watching the grass grow! (Ever seen King Of the Hill? yeah, it’s like that here.) My dad has this joke about, “If aliens ever came to this planet, and had to report on the dominant species, they would have to say, “Grass. All the minions’ time is devoted to planting it, watering it, growing it, mowing it, weeding it, feeding it…” Sad but true!
    I love the pattern for the blanket, is it puckered up on purpose?

  20. Reminds me of my favorite joke about teenagers and clothes. Why do teenagers like to sleep on the top bunk? So they can have an aerial view of their wardrobe.

  21. Oh, now see……Leslie F. just went and got all snarky on you at 4:48 pm. No Harlot Christmas card for HER this year, I’m a’guessing. >:-)
    snicker, snicker, snicker….
    *That wasn’t me laughing, I swear it!*

  22. Maybe you could spin a little now and then or tell us what you are thinking of knitting for Christmas. Any updates on the neighbor’s renovations?

  23. I know a way that you could keep me entertained–you could let us know if you are planning on writing up the pattern for the layette that you knit! I am hoping that you will!

  24. I don’t agree. We are knitters and understand that these things are incremental. We get it and love it anyway, because our projects progress just the same. I find your blankie interesting. I would like it even more if you would publish the stitch pattern on the blog. Or if you got it from a stitch dictionary, then the reference and page number. Pretty please. Then I might knit along.
    It would be a nice break from the plain summer tops I’ve been knitting for myself. I have a 60 inch bust, and it takes a lot of stockinette to get around a big girl like me. If fall is here you would never know it in San Diego. We are looking at brutal hot for at least 2 more months. Hence the cotton tops.
    The blankie looks nice as it is beginning.
    Happy New Year,
    Julie in San Diego

  25. 1. I have a kid like that. She has always liked to be able to see as many of her possessions as possible, especially clothes.
    Sadly, she shares a room with my tidiest, most organized child (the 3yo!). We are working on the whole, “Cleanliness is a way of showing respect for your little sister” thing, but it’s not taking.
    2. I need a baby to knit for. And I’m NOT having one myself, so basically I’m saying I want some of my friends to get busy. 🙂
    3. Write about whatever. We will read it, we will comment madly off in all directions… you could probably post a photo of your latest dryer lint and we would find something to say about it. Not that your posts are usually like that – there is a reason we all read the blog – but once or twice it wouldn’t do any harm. And you never know where we’ll go with the comments. (Heirloom lint, anyone?)

  28. I think if anyone has to capacity to enjoy watching grass grow or paint dry, it’s got to be knitters. I, for one, don’t actively dislike either activity, though I suspect the documentary about the grass would be more interesting and calming than the one about the paint (potential for hilarity here, paint fumes make ordinary people say and do all manner of silly things, like wool fumes to a knitter but kind of toxic).
    Just imagine: Camera focused tight on the grass, sunlight rendering the tip of each blade slightly translucent, a light breeze tickling through those bright little stalks. Every now and then an insect makes an appearance, and for long minutes the drama of its little life captivates. Later, a songbird, who is not the villain of our little insect’s story, but someone else’s. Maybe a grub. One the audience hasn’t had a chance to name yet. We don’t think of the bird as a villain. Its feathers are lovely and it has babies to feed. There’s probably some soothing music playing very softly. Sometimes it rains. Or Rick-the-Measurer dozes off and doesn’t measure the grass as often as he said he would.
    I’m just saying, there’s some potential here. No longer totally sure if “here” is Blanket Watch 2k13 or the grass thing, but there’s definitely potential in the vicinity of those things.

  29. This is like when I finally figured out FourSquare showed me that I only go to three places most of the time. Home. Gym. Work.
    That was a depressing day. The next most depressing day was when I remembered to “check in” at my grandparents retirement home twice and I became Mayor of their retirement home.
    Kill me now.

  30. Actually, I’m just relieved to hear you say it’s going to take you a few weeks to knit something! I figure us mere mortals might get part of a sweater knit in the time it takes you to knit a blanket in what looks like fingering weight yarn on size 4us needles!

  33. What is the pattern you are following ? it looks lovely and just different enough for me to mess up by the 10th round, but I am willing to try it. Bet it is one of your own design!

  34. You do realize what you just did, didn’t you??
    Every time any woman I know (including myself) says “Gosh this is going to be boring”, the Fates take offense and say “Oh yeah?”
    Hopefully they won’t notice, but you did publish it!

  35. After millions of Norwegians watched 7 hours of a train trip and 18 hours of salmon swimming, there is talk of broadcasting live knitting. I’d watch.
    Plus, at some point, I think you’ll knock out a sock or hat or something to take the edge off. I’ll be in suspense the whole time.

  36. What a lucky baby-to-be!
    The blanket looks beyond my capacity to persevere (and i’ve made two full-size worsted blankets . . . Patterned, but not lace!).
    If you were to take a break from knitting the blanket long enough to write patterns for the other pieces, we mere mortals could stat knitting those while waiting to see the finished blanket. Please?

  37. You underestimate both our desire to hear from you and our interest in your knitting…. The blanket is beautiful even in it’s unfinished state. On another note, how is the retreat in Port Ludlow coming? I’ve decided it is my splurge for now and I’m anxious to get signed up… Just a little/huge worried. Thanks.

  38. Actually, I LOVE how a blanket under construction just does. not. grow. for days and days and days and then all of a sudden it’s lots bigger. I figure that is proof of elves or magic or something…and I need more of both of those things in my life!

  40. Judy’s right – you underestimate our desire to see your knitting progress. We like see the beautiful thing that is being created here, even if it seems like we’re watching grass grow.
    Sometimes watching grass grow is a very pleasant diversion.

  41. Consider that there are sites named watching-grass-grow.com and watching-paint-dry.com and was one about watching corn grow. Your knitting the blanket will be an action packed event compared to those.

  43. I’m knitting something that’s supposed to be a throw, but may end up a blanket. In weather that requires an AC part of the day.

  45. We’ve been down this road before, Stephanie. And at some point or other you’ll break down and knit something else. We know this, you know this, your family knows this.
    And besides, your writing is so good that we’ll gladly watch the blanket grown.

  46. The state of Sam’s wardrobe is probably why you seek solace in knitting the lengthy blanket! It probably takes the edge off things.
    Ahh, just remember: “You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, They pave paradise, put-up a parking lot.” The children will be gone some day and Sam’s wardrobe will cease to be a daily problem.
    That’s what we do, coach our children from baby dependence, to hopefully be fully-functioning adults, and they get there the same way we will all get to Carnegie Hall … practise, practise, practise. Just unfortunately they need to practise on us.

  47. Love your “Sam conversation”! I remember those with my daughter! What is the pattern you are using for the baby blanket?

  53. Honey? You could write a story about anything, and it would be funny. So you just go ahead with your snail pace project, and the rest of us will ravenously gobble up your blog posts about it. Okay?

  54. “…like they decided to have a grass growing competition…”
    That reminds me of one of my favorite comic strips, Zits. The mom is trying to get her teen-age son to converse and share his day with his parents during dinner. He says that’s so boring it’s worse than watching grass grow…it’s worse than watching paint dry…it’s worse than painting grass and watching it dry as it grows!
    I’ve made blankets before and you do reach a point where it feels THAT boring and endless. Good luck, and let us know when it’s finished.

  56. Is this a baby blanket or one for a king-sized bed? Baby blankets usually go fairly quickly, so I think you’re probably over-estimating how long it will take. Besides, you can always show us the pair of socks (or whatever) you’re doing as your “in the car” knitting.
    And everything will be fine if you keep the door to Sam’s room closed. Eventually, she’ll run out of clean clothes and places to put the worn ones.

  57. Just like the fire in the fireplace tv program that runs on Christmas! We watch and watch and watch, just waiting for the disembodied hand to reach in with the poker or another log!
    Infinitely patient and satisfied with little things…. that’s the charitable description of my brain!

  58. We probably don’t get to see the finished product unless said baby is cuddled up sleeping in it anyways. Maybe intrigue us with a xmas sock while we are waiting. When is that baby coming?

  60. …I would probably watch that competition and the following documentary. I just spent nearly two hours doing calculus homework, it sounds great.

  61. Ha,ha…I had that same repetitive conversation with one of my kids. He moved to college last week 🙁
    That blanket looks so soft!

  63. stephie, SWEETHEART ,,,, you don’t have to be exciting or exhilarating or awesomeness on a daily basis. JUST WRITE US SOMETHING, okay? Really.
    You’ve no idea. There are hundreds of us (maybe more) and we just keep re-loading and re-checking your URL and we go into badass withdrawal if you don’t post nada for 3 days. Really. Even if you just post a pic of your knitting or your CAT or your toes in the bathtub or your dirty dishes or your backyard flowers or you in the pub or your kids or your mum or REALLY SERIOUSLY ANYTHING, just please post something.
    We go nuts when we can’t see updates.
    Just anything, okay ????????
    OKAY.

  65. I also am knitting a baby blanket for a friend’s first child. I’m halfway thru, but the doctor is inducing on Friday (a week early), so I’m going to miss that deadline AND the state fair deadline I was hoping to meet. My blanket is the same color as yours, and I’d just about kill for something colorful on my needles, but I’m making myself stick to this until it’s done.

  66. I canned over the weekend, or as like to call it, “watching water boil.” Knit away. We’ll be here.

  67. A live knitting show sounds really good. It wouldn’t have to have those partial-sock things that Stephanie had to do – just show people knitting, in real time. You could show different styles, different types of projects, maybe switch from one to another on different days, maybe “Thursday socks”, “Friday afghans”, and different knitters so each person gets a break. You could have the older episodes available on YouTube. It’s at least as lively as a webcam of a nest of shy nocturnal animals.

  68. I like that, knitters as shy nocturnal animals.
    Stephanie, I am really worried about “grandchild-to-be, the second”. There are a lot of things that may work against him or her. I really need some very special knitting to work a protective spell. That last layette is so very special, it is just what the doctor ordered. Please take some time when you need to put the blanket down and write up the pattern. There will be many of us who will be grateful if you do.
    Thank you.

  69. I like watching the blanket progress. I am a Norwegian though, and as pointed out earlier, we have weird standards for entertainment, like 134 hours of a ferry boat going up the coast!

  70. You could just add a string or some kind of marker that would tell us where you finished and then started up again. We could think, hmmm, about9 rows there, not bad. Nobody would actually have to SAY a word. Just a picture with some markers. (I don’t know if anyone else suggested this and I am too tired to read everything, sorry, people.)
    Jo

  71. My guinea pigs care hugely about grass growing!! Just check in from time to time so we know it hasn’t driven you mad – what with the sharp pointy needles and all

  72. Oh, other folks have already commented about Norwegian television. Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

  73. Seriously, you’re only working on one knitting project?? Wau, that’s odd… Never tried that 🙂

  74. I actually find it very comforting that other knitters take a long time to finish big projects. It’s when they knit a blanket in a week that I get depressed. I can totally get slow project – not much going on.

  75. If I were not the digi-know-not-how-to I am I would be amongst those 4 or 5 counting rows. Now I will hang on to a wellknown phrase in the TVseries world: “This is the continuing story of” the blanket in this case, in the TV case it was of course Peyton Place, where Alison went (in labour and all)into hospital to deliver her baby (or was it one of the other girls?) the day I went in with a crushed as in more bonepieces then it had before foot and ankle, only to find out five weeks later at returning home, me I mean, that I was yet in time to watch at home the wet and just delivered baby shown to his/her grandmother. That was how continuing and longlasting it was, so your babyblanket knitting is not going to sursprise me if you mean the length of time it takes knitting it. Watching Peyton Place was like watching grass grow, paint dry and waiting standing by the cooker for water to boil all at once. You will knit every stitch with love for the yet unborn in your heart and hands which of course gives it heirloom quality. Knit on and prosper, YH.

  76. To Kelly at 10:44 I think-thank you for telling our YarnHarlot exactly how we feel!!! 😉
    Dear Steph – the Blog is made up of your FANS – and Presbytera lol – so we really do look forward to any post.
    I solemnly swear not to count rows when I enbiggen the blanket photo… Lol
    But seriously – more kitty pix would tide me over just fine!
    🙂 Just keep knitting, just keep knitting!

  77. I have the same problem with my work. I’m doing a sweater for the past I don’t know how long and I’m still on the sleeves. I think I have the beginnings of carpal tunnel and when I lose feeling to the pins and needles sensations I have to stop. Plus I really hate the color. But it will be some thing I can wear for work Not allowed any outlandish colors like blue or green. I also have a hat I’m working on but that travels in my purse for when hubby and I go out. It gets worked on while we wait for anything. I started this small thing in June. Still plugging away. Waitresses can’t wait to see finished objects. Neither can I.

  78. Wow. There are people who would actually enlarge the picture to count the rows to check? That’s a little scary. But you’ve been in this same spot before, and you now how knitting is, what can go wrong will go wrong, if given time.

  79. If there was a race between me knitting a blanket and the grass growing, the grass would win!
    I love seeing your patterns develop and I understand Sam. I was a teenager once too! A very long time ago.

  80. Perhaps instead we could have a discussion on how to convince a spouse to close a dresser drawer after he removes something from it.
    I’m sure it would be fascinating 🙂

  81. Clothing storage for teens – isn’t their bedroom floor the largest shelf in the house? Universal truism.

  82. Stephanie, only you could write an entertaining post about how boring your post is. What’s really amazing is that most of your blogees will find your progress [or lack thereof] to make good reading. Face it, we’re all knitting junkies and most people in our real lives just don’t get it. Talking about knitting ~ even stagnant knitting ~ makes my fingers twitch.Stitch by stitch, row by row…..keep us posted

  84. I’ve been married for a while, and I’m pretty sure that my husband will never close his dresser drawer or the closet drawer, ever. So I switched around the closet door and dressers so that now I don’t mind so much. 🙂 easy.
    Stephanie, I love watching you knit slowly, it’s such a nice change from stumbling along with one sock while I see you whip out 10 or so.

  85. Well, considering that most of us show up for the witty writing and that the stunning photographs of knitting are only icing on our cake, I think you’re safe 🙂

  86. Reminds me of the week in London, back in the 1980s, when the snooker tournament came to town, and ALL (all four of them) television channels broadcast nothing but the snooker games. Yawn, yawn. For someone not into snooker, one game was like the rest.

  87. We like talking about the blankie, and the little person it will be going to. How could we ever get tired of that?

  88. Come on Steph. I grew up in Canada watching CURLING. Watching your blanket grow is so much better. And I’m with all the others who need regular, really regular posts (almost) regardless of the content. Maybe there’s a 12-step program for this problem?

  90. My mother and I had only one conversation about my clothes piled on the rocker or footboard of the bed. I came home from school to find all those clothes in the trash…I got her message tho’ nary a word was said.
    Watching you knit anything is great, don’t care if it flies off the needles or not.
    You could also entertain us with list of your favorite foods, books, TV shows, musicians, what you hate to cook, what you love to cook, etc. Doesn’t even have to be lengthy…we’d read it. Or line up what you’ll be knitting for Christmas gifts this year.

  91. You could always post pictures of your Kusha Kusha scarf. I am eagerly awaiting those.
    Or, even further back, can we see your Catkin? Pretty please? 🙂

  92. Dryer lint, did someone mention dryer lint??? Can you spin that??? :D:D
    I love just checking in to see what you are doing. Any pics are appreciated, knitting or not. Don’t feel any pressure, just remember, WE ARE WAITING! jk
    :D:D

  93. My husband, the landscaper/carpenter/housepainter, enjoys watching grass grow (cheering it on!) and, I suspect, watching paint dry…don’t worry, we’ll watch you knit a blanket!

  94. Love this post….I know I am seriously having issues with boredom or lack of enthusiasm with a yarn project when I keep measuring it to see if I am done!!

  96. In the U.K. they televise billiards, don’t feel bad about your luscious blanket knitting 🙂

  97. I am also knitting a blanket, which is going to take a while. I started off with the idea that I could knit it in a week, while still working full time and getting some sleep at night – I have recovered from that insanity, but will now be happy to think that while I am knitting away on my blanket, you will be knitting away on yours 🙂

  98. BevE @ 6:36pm ~ brilliant!! If someone could do that, it would be the ultimate in reusing.Making cloth from cloth fuzz.
    When my daughter was in girl scouts, they did a project that used dryer lint. Took cardboard egg cartons, filled each compartment with dryer lint, poured melted candle wax [which they got from candle stubs from a local church] over the lint to fill the compartment. Let them set up and break off each compartment. They make the best fire starters ever!

  99. My two daughters, as teens, taught me the lesson that if you just shut the door to their room, then you don’t have to see the disaster. After years of fighting about it, it was kind of a relief to let that issue go.
    My feeling is that soon enough, they leave, for college or work or marriage, and then the house can be as clean and neat as you like.
    Can you tell my youngest just left for college last week? 🙂

  100. Haven’t read through all the other comments, but just want you to know that it isn’t just the knitting I come here for. I really enjoy your wit and humor so much that it is hard when there aren’t daily postings.-no pressure 🙂 Do have to say however, that you have challenged and grown not only my stash and tools but also my knitting ability. Thanks for that. Hope you are having a super day.

  102. “This is going to be as exciting as the conversation that Sam and I keep having about . . . the relationship that could exist between the two if only she would see that I am right.”
    I regularly have this conversation with both my 23 year old son and his father. The only exciting thing about it is my thinking that THIS TIME one of them might actually hear what I am saying.
    On a happier note, the blanket is beautiful. Maybe the mother will put it on display someplace because no infant I have ever known keeps white things white.

  103. Actually, I would really like to watch you knit this blanket. I’ve seen the cottage knitting video of you on YouTube and I wonder if this is the technique that you use for things like blankets. Do you knit the lace by reading the pattern, not looking at the needles, or do you memorize each line and look only at the needles? If often wondered how some people are able to knit lace so quickly and the only answer in my head is that they knit the way I play the piano, by looking at the pattern(music) and not looking at the needles(keys). The thing that slows me down is my inability to memorize a seemingly complex set of stitches in a line of knitting. I have to continually stop, check the pattern, check the stitches, count the stitches, look at the pattern again, etc. to the point that lace is just no fun. Watching you would be fun.

  104. In Norway they had a twenty four hour log splitting tv show, followed by a twenty four hour wood burning show, and it was a great success. So your blanket could be, by comparison, fraught with excitement. Then again, I ride dressage, which has been compared unfavorably with grass growing and paint drying, not to mention baby blanket knitting, so who am I to say?

  105. Ooh! I see a provisional cast-on. I can crochet very well, but I still for the life of me can’t get it to work right where you “un-zip” it! Love that pattern! It’s going to be awesome!

  106. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????? ??? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????ousada???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????°??????

  107. sometimes, I just super duper love how you write. Other times, I’m just reading for an update and a smile. Today was = love. Thanks for remaining you.

  108. Don’t feel too bad about the blanket Steph. I have this Noro sweater that has been ripped out more than is good for the yarn…or me for that matter.
    Keep at it my dear. The blanket is making itself. You may just be in the way…just as I am in the way of the circle coat!
    bjr

  109. I feel your pain. I’m also currently working on a baby blanket. A 4 ply, plain stocking stitch, cot-sized baby blanket. 220 teeny little stitches per row, for over a metre in length. Fortunately I get to change to a new coloured stripe every 32 rows.
    If it wasn’t going to be super-stylish and wrapping my new-born baby nephew in cuddles and love for the winter, I’d have stabbed myself in the eye with my 3.25mm by now.

  110. Why are you knitting a blanket on straight needles? Just curious. How long are the needles? Love the pattern!

  111. Stephanie, you are charming, entertaining, thought-provoking and challenging all at once. Right now I’m feeling challenged: I don’t understand the picture! The right hand needle seems to have knitting coming off it in both directions and they look like different patterns. I was hoping someone else would comment on this, but no such luck. I think I need a beer and some Norwegian TV to give my brain a rest.

  112. I’m knitting a baby blanket right now that is quite similar. I have to keep reminding myself to put down the other projects and knit the blanket – babies have deadlines. Keep going. I’ll race you.

  113. The comments were especially entertaining. You have such a great way of writing that you make just about anything interesting.

  114. I’m having a similar problem on my blog. I’m knitting gifts and can’t show any of them. Is it reasonable to post, “Click here to see my ravelry page of something awesome… unless your name is Rachel.”?

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