Oh, the humanity. Somehow I thought that if I went to the mall on the day of an ice storm – on a workday, it might not be busy there. This was, I reasoned, the best possible day to go. I would go, it would be fast, I could go to the five stores I needed really quickly, and I would be out.
Listen carefully. I was wrong. So wrong. I was so wrong you should never ever listen to me and my reasoning again if it matters to you how things turn out at all. There were a million people there. They were all buying what I was buying and there were queues that snaked through the place like some monstrous boa, coiled around the men’s underpants display as though it were sated on my hopes and dreams. I saw one lady crying. She was just walking though the mall crying and you know what? I get it. I was crying on the inside. I am not going back there for a year, you hear me? I’m not doing it. Even Santa’s elves looked like they were right on the edge of a rampage, and the whole place had the feeling of a powder keg. I’m probably lucky I got out before it blew.
I left without getting one thing, but I couldn’t take it anymore. There’s no way I needed that thing more than I needed to get out of there.
I’m going to knit now.
PS: Check out this gift for knitters. Cool, eh? There’s a few sizes and colours, and thanks to go Julia C. for finding it. Good eye. I tell you, they didn’t have that at the mall.