If This Works

If this works, then I’ll be able to show you this picture of my current working set up, which is me, a wireless keyboard, and my ipad.


If this works, then I’ll be able to tell you that yesterday morning, my laptop suffered what appears to be a fatal seizure, and is now in having the better part of its guts replaced, which is no less than it deserves. (I know, I know. I shouldn’t be angry with it. At least it gave me warning that it was unhappy, at least it told me that it had problems. At least I had a chance to back everything up, meaning that this is really just inconvenient, not a terrible loss that I can’t recover from, and I know I saw this coming and had time to make my peace and say my goodbyes, and that’s something.)

If this works, then I’ll be able to tell you that I’ve got my knitting right there beside me, and everytime that I discover some other vital part of what I use a computer for, that the ipad can’t do, I knit a half row to take the edge off of my impotent rage. Β (I tried to hook a wireless mouse up to the ipad for about 20 minutes yesterday until I realized that of course you can’t do it. The thing has no courser to control. It’s a touch screen. Β I can’t believe I tried for so long. I only look smart some days. Β It’s the glasses.)

If this works, then I will also be able to tell you that I freakin’ snapped last night, and knit several centimetres of a sock that is not a white baby blanket, because, well – it’s all too much. Β I’m not sorry I fell off the wagon either.


If this works, I’ll also be able to tell you that if any pictures show up, I have no idea what size they might be – but I’ve already lost 40 minutes of my life trying to figure that the *&^%$# out, and I have my limits.

Of course, if this doesn’t work, I’m going to go get a beer out of the fridge, and sip it while I smash the ipad into a million pieces, with a nice round rock from the garden, and I doubt I’ll be sorry about that either.

I’m hitting publish. We’ll just see if this works.

156 thoughts on “If This Works

  1. Well done you — have the beer anyway, and save the rock for me when I submit that it’s not a courser, it’s a cursor, as in *&^%$# . Drink the beer.

  2. Drink more beer. You have the lace pattern memorized by now, yes? Everyone knows how well lace charts mix with drinks…

  3. I always advocate having a beer under trying circumstances. I strongly recommend the Hazelnut Brown from Rogue Brewery. It’s my go-to for a bad day.

      • Fort Garry Brown Ale – no comparison. Unfortunately you have to live in Manitoba, unless you have a friend here who will bring you some (elsewhere in Canada only, of course).

  4. It seems to have worked, but you might want the beer anyway. And thanks for confirming my decision not to chuck out the money for an Ipad, however much I crave one. Maybe I’m waiting for one that can do everything a laptop does.

    • I’ve had an iPa, for over 2 years, and I can’t believe how much I’ve come to depend on it. Among other things, I find it an important knitting accessory; I love using an electronic PDF of my patterns (I can zoom it at will, put a box around the current row on a chart, make corrections, add all kinds of notations, and save my ‘corrected’ version of a PDF (or Excel spreadsheet, if I’ve written the chart myself) for re-use. And I can read novels in bed with it at night…

      But I still prefer typing on my laptop…

  5. It worked!

    Congrats on your restraint through these trying times.

    The sock looks like just the right thing to counteract all that white knitting. I’m sure that won’t delay the baby’s arrival – waiting for you to finish the blanket. πŸ˜‰

    If it makes you feel any better, I don’t know that I would have make the connection between the iPad not having a cursor and trying to use a mouse with it (and I wear glasses, too).

    Enjoy a beer to celebrate your success, rather than dull the pain of defeat!

    • It took me two years to knit a baby blanket. Minus the beer. Maybe if I had one beer it might had move things along faster. Hang in there things will get better; I promise.

  6. As a long-time lurker, I wanted to congratulate you on your restraint and encourage you to consider having the beer anyways. Remember: Step away from the rocks. It might feel good at that moment, but it won’t over the long-term.

  7. Glad it works! Socks may be your knitter’s version of comfort food. For me, it’s a scarf. I keep one on the needles for those times when I’ve done something incredibly stupid and need to reassure myself that I can do this string thing. Hope you and your laptop are reunited soon.

  8. Now, now, Steph!
    It seem you forgot that this electronic stuff that has us all by the throat these days, was supposed to make out lives easier, faster, smarter and use less paper. Remember????
    Put down the rock and knit. That’s a good girl…
    Just…breath…..in and out… Smell the yarn. It’s far better than melted plastic and smoking wires.

  9. My first thought was “where is the mouse?” so you know why I wear glasses. πŸ˜‰ Good golly I think I’d go crazy if I had to touch screen around at work all day. Maybe in 5 years we’ll all be doing it. We’ll all have fabulous arms.

  10. If you do any important writing on the ipad, back it up! Email it to yourself, something! I used this setup at the start of my post-grad program, but then, two days before the first paper was due, I learned that if you leave the keyboard on and have both the keyboard and the ipad in your bag, the keyboard can try (and fail) to log you in to the ipad over and over again until you’re locked out for good. I had to reset it from factory settings. I also bought a laptop I wasn’t entirely budgeted for because if I was going to rewrite the whole damn paper again in two days, I was going to do it on a real computer!

  11. I see photos! Not sure if they’re the ones you wanted up there, but they seem to match.

    Listen, it took me nearly as long to figure out I couldn’t get my wifi mouse linked up to my iPod. And I was functioning on eight hours of sleep *and* I had started my second cup of coffee. I call it Apple Syndrome…the expectation that all Apple products will work exactly the same no matter what it is. That being said, I adore my iPad and wifi keyboard to a level that it’s almost filthy to talk about in private or public.

  12. Not to start *that* argument, but I can and have used a wireless mouse with my android tablet. You weren’t necessarily mistaken in trying…

  13. I would have sat there for an hour trying to figure out how to hook up a mouse too, if that makes you feel any better. Are you sure you don’t want anything stronger than a beer? It looks like you could use something with a bit more “oomph” right now.

  14. Ironically, IMMEDIATELY before clicking on the link on my blog that takes me to yours, I was thinking to myself “I need a rock!”

    This is, of course, not to smash my computer with, but to keep in my pocket as a worry stone. I work in a very stressful job, and I have lost my worry stone somewhere in the last two weeks. Since I have been stupid enough to agree to work nine days in a row, and this is my last day before I get one day off and then go back for another bout, I am feeling the lack of both my rock and my knitting time. And beer.

    Nice workaround! And have the beer anyway!

  15. I’m super impressed you can maintain gauge when experiencing serious frustration! My gauge tightens right up and I would definitely need to reknit.

  16. I once smashed a cell phone with a hammer in a fit of grief and anger. It is not nearly as satisfying as you’d think.

    So, I’m firmly in the have a beer camp — heck have one for me too. Beer is officially off my menu due to allergies.

  17. Take heart, dear Steph, a great many people are frustrated by knitting, (as hard as that is to believe.)
    Take solace in the calm of knitting. I can’t say pounding away at a keyboard has ever come close to improving my stress level.
    Beverage, optional, but perhaps mandatory, under the circumstances.

  18. Congratulations on your perseverance! Now go have that beer. And keep rewarding yourself with knitting on both projects, diversity is distracting. Both blanket and sock are amazing!
    Last week I replaced my 11.5 year old desktop with a brand new great big huge monster. Then a friend helped me, by means of repeated phone calls, to understand it’s new ways. My old one had issues; lots of websites wouldn’t work any more with XP and it was soooo slow, then the sound died. It’s the only piece of technology I own for communicating. I’m hoping I can learn all it’s bell and whistles. May your newly refurbished laptop make life better.

  19. That sock yarn is the perfect break from white knitting. Sometimes taking a break from one thing makes it go faster because you’re not absolutely frustrated with it. Knitting the sock is totally going to help get the blanket done. Doesn’t that make you feel better?

  20. You did it. And I passed the test for being a person. Big and small wonders today. Blanket looks great, but how can you pass up knitting socks. I can’t.

    And now you have a new set up with yarn fumes inches/centimeters away. If the beer doesn’t work, add some chocolate.

  21. So glad to share the rage….I mean, not glad, but ain’t we human? Don’t we bleed? It’s a rough, 1st-world out there, with technology necessities, and niceties.

  22. I feel your pain. I have been struggling with a cranky mouse on my iMac. I use a wireless one, and when it got fussy, of course i changed the battery. Then it started to show me a window that the battery was low on my bluetooth mouse. I don’t use a bluetooth mouse! Oh, it came with one, but I put it away. I don’t know where I put it (but it is someplace safe) but somehow it has the strength on its dying battery to send signals to my computer. I love your knitting stuff, but it is a double perk to me that you are also a Mac person. I am sure were are blood relatives somehow!

  23. You can’t knit a lace-patterned baby blanket anyway – not while you’re suffering from impotent rage. First of all you will surely miss something in the pattern and you won’t figure it out for eleventy rows and then you’ll *really* be angry and secondly, all that rage will imprint itself on the blanket of a poor helpless little cherub. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

  24. I hope you had that beer to celebrate It Working.

    That sock looks like the perfect antidote to the white baby blanket (which is beautiful and I’m super excited to see the end result).

  25. Woot! Woot! It worked, and your iPad lives to see another day. Blanket is looking great. Photos came through nice and big. πŸ™‚

  26. I bought an iPad mini three years ago because I kept hearing about how it’s so useful in education, and one of my students showed me all kinds of neat things that could be done with one. Three years in, and what am I using it for? KnitCompanion, Lumosity, Pinterest, the weather, the camera, and iTunes. Oh, and games. I set Siri to speak with a male voice in a British accent, named it Simon, and now he’s my buddy.

  27. Interesting that you’re using straight needles for a wide item like a blanket.

    I’d find circulars easier, as the weight of the blanket is not all in your hands.

    And I’m an Aussie: who needs a *reason* to drink beer??

  28. don’t feel bad.. apparently I am the only one in the world who manages to get a virus on a Mac – this according to my nerdy computer geek son..
    thank god he managed to fix it…

  29. I used to use a Mac laptop, and when mine started showing signs of impending death, I switched from that platform to an iPad Mini and a desktop. It was cheaper than a new laptop, and I haven’t found anything yet that this combination (for home & away) can’t do.
    Might work for you!

  30. Ah ha hahaha haha ha, success! You reminded me of one of those middle school motivational posters with a kitten or a mountain range that says something like, “Success is just going from failure to failure with enthusiasm!”

    Love that sock yarn so much it hurts.

  31. Thanks for trying so hard. I think I would have called it a wrap way earlier than you did!! I so look forward to starting my day with you!! (No pressure though!! )

  32. hahahahahaha! trying to hook up a wireless mouse! It’s the glasses that make you look smart? Hahahaha! I’m still impressed – you got plenty of knitting done, too.

  33. Hey, you knit rather than go sulk in a corner. It doesn’t matter what you work on, just so you keep on knitting. Plus, the sock said it was lonely…

  34. I managed to not throw my desktop out the window when it wouldn’t boot after an update this morning. Instead I went to my granddaughter s kindergarten graduation. Then we went for a long hike. When I came home it now magically boots.

  35. I feel your pain. My laptop took a big, giant crap a couple months ago and whilst we were awaiting the arrival of my newish one, I had the exact same setup for blogging. It sucked, photos didn’t work well, and thankfully it was only for a couple weeks. ::sigh::

  36. Love those sock colors! Out of computer pain comes a phoenix in the form of a sock…ok it doesn’t work. I’ve had my own week. For health reasons I had to cut caffeine out of my diet. In addition to the week long withdrawal headache I’ve had to say good-bye to black tea, coffee and CHOCOLATE. Hello herbal tea, chicory and carob. Did I mention that I don’t drink? Not much left to binge with is there? Hang in.

    • My sympathies, I also had to give up caffeine several years ago. Don’t despair, there are good decaf teas and coffees out there. My favorites are Barry’s Tea decaf and Pacific Coast Decaffeinated French Roast coffee. Barry’s is an Irish tea and can be ordered online if your market doesn’t carry it. For coffee, using a French or other dark roast helps make up for no caffeine. Just try the ones locally available until you find one you like. Good luck!

  37. As the saying goes, “To err is human, to really stuff things up requires a computer.”
    For some of us wireless is another name for a radio.
    You should search YouTube for “ipad german chopping board”. It’s a really funny clip about a father’s alternative use for his birthday present.

  38. A couple of years ago, I bought a Lenovo Thinkpad with a touchscreen (heavily discounted from our IT guy) and now I touch EVERY computer screen and get frustrated that it’s not “working”, so I guess I have your mouse problem in reverse!! and I love my Ipad Mini, but must confess I use it to browse Ravelry, Amazon, read emails, and play scrabble…is that educational? Glad you got us a blog post – I miss you those days there isn’t one!

  39. hmmm I’ve got text on my screen but no pics. However that could be my computer issues, not yours! πŸ™‚

  40. Microsoft Surface Tablet! Much more robust than an iPad. Check it out. Has touch, Bluetooth mouse capable, keyboard cover, onscreen keyboard….etc.

    Love to watch your projects in progress.

  41. Love your work !!!! knitting and technology….awesome
    I am surrounded by techno savy family members who all think I am never going to get it!!! whatever IT is….
    But I have a cure for the evils of technology – it is threatened with the Road fix…chuck it out on the street and watch as a car or truck ‘fixes it’..for good.
    Not a fan of any of the ‘fruit’ products – strictly android for me!!

  42. I’ve had the same emotional experience anytime I’ve had to use a system other than a PC. Gamma Rays must shoot out of the screen making me more prone to violence. (I did try to pick up the monitor and wrestle it in an attempt to toss it across the room. The machine won.

  43. I ditched my laptop last fall for the basically the set up you have now, but with a Samsung Galaxy Note Pro Tablet. I love it! It does take some getting used to, and it’s not for everyone, but I think you’ve got a totally workable situation there. Embrace the challenge. πŸ™‚

  44. I on an old PC and I can see the pictures just fine! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Love the sock. It’s nice to have a little color to break up the cream baby blanket. Just keep busy and let the pros sort out the hardware stuff.

    My preference is chocolate , and none of that cheap crap either! My job is IT and I usually have some in the drawer!
    Go find a good brownie. It will help, just remember to wash up afterwards.

    M in NC

  45. It worked!! Thank you for making me giggle, and you have the most kindly and funny commenters too πŸ™‚
    By the way LOVE the larger photo format, so I can see your little stitches better! Maybe just roll with it…

  46. In Soviet Russia, cursor is you.
    On an uplifting note, I would say that most of us are simply happy to read The Blog, even if it did have whacky image sizes. We are understanding folk when it comes to technology meltdowns!

  47. Oh my god, drink the beer! And then maybe have another! I feel your pain though – nothing worse than tech failure. BUT at least now you know you can use your iPad at a push… right? πŸ™‚ xx

  48. I did the same thing trying to install a mouse in a similar setup. Keyboard… Therefore mouse. Seemed logical.

    I’d second Rams and anyone else who suggested you have the beer anyway.

  49. As a freelance writer I do everything with an iPad set up very much like yours. I have not had a laptop for years and do not expect to ever go back. When the time comes to replace this iPad the only change I will make is to get one with more memory.

    The siren call of the sock must have been strong last night. I too set aside a big project and cast on a sock.

  50. Of course, as soon as you hit the ipad, you’ll remember how much you like it and will be without both! Just have a few more beers.
    The blanket looks lovely.

  51. I am so with you. I am also a book writer and when I travel, I take my iPad and Apple keyboard (I have a case for the keyboard called the Origami case–you fold it out and it holds the iPad–it’s nifty). It’s OK but I agree–there are so many things that the iPad can’t do–especially if you’re a writer/blogger. My theory is that Apple doesn’t want people to use their iPads as laptops, so they make things just hard enough that you have to keep your laptop. Sigh. Hang in there!

  52. Eighteen miles round trip to the computer store. New wireless mouse not working. Ran short errand, back to computer store, diagnosis is worthless battery. I’ll swear the Owner said they put in a new battery for me, and I’m good to go.

    Go home, curser won’t move.

    Second trip to computer store. Clerk opens mouse and says, “You need a battery.” But I thought Owner said he put in a battery. Computer store doesn’t carry batteries. On my way home go to Radio Shack (thank heavens some Radio Shacks are surviving) for batteries.

    You know, if you have some milk that is on the verge of going bad, you can use it to make chocolate pudding, which is quite delicious spooned over cut-up banana.

    Chocolate beats beer every time.

  53. Don’t worry, it worked!

    The pictures are rather larger than normal, but that’s not a bad thing! Pictures where you can see individual stitches in the knitting are sometimes a very good thing. πŸ™‚

  54. While I do not have an ipad (I’m an android type), I did think about trying g to get a mouse for my kindle fire…I have the wireless keyboard going as well..because my laptop also puked. Thanks for the heads up.

  55. Here’s a nosy question: I’m curious as to your use of long straight needles as opposed to circular. Any particular reason?

  56. I have a love/hate relationship with all things electronic. Love them when they work smoothly, hate them when there’s a glitch of any kind. I could easily take a large rock and beat the things to death! My grandfather once took an axe to the radiator of the car when it wouldn’t run! It’s all his fault I have this atomic temper when it come to no workee electronics. I totally relate.

    Beer would be a good treat, throw some Pizza in for good measure…call it a good day!

  57. Well, it worked! I’m glad because This made me giggle and giggle and giggle..cause it’s exactly what I would have done, only I probably would have grabbed the beer sooner! Like the sock by the way. I was wondering how you were going to handle all that white!

  58. Ha…love that realization about the mouse and the iPad’s touch screen. It goes the other way, as well. Once, after not having my MacBook for about 2 weeks (I was travelling) and using only the iPad, I got back to the MacBook and was totally befuddled as I tried so unsuccessfully to use its screen as a touchscreen.

  59. well – the surface 3 has a touchscreen and you can connect a mouse, so I don’t think this move is particularly stupid πŸ™‚

  60. It totally worked, so much so that I HAVE to know what that yarn is you are knitting those socks from. A year or two ago I received a hat in a Ravelry swap knit from yarn that looks IDENTICAL to that and the lovely lady who knit it for me can’t remember what the yarn is.. help I want more!

  61. Lovely sock yarn. I love the orangey, rusty color. Christmas socks? Nothing is lost in that case. Blankie is nice, too, but I can see how it feels like a BIG project. Technology and I do not get along, so I feel for you.
    We’re having a wet, cloudy “June gloom” season and my “arthur-itis” is going crazy. I’m on crutches with knees and hip joints that do not work. It could be worse… You are capable of riding a bike, so take heart.
    Julie in San Diego

  62. Instead of smashing thing, I have been known to throw eggs. They make a satisfying SPLAT when they hit a tree.

    The photos are great and you should have a beer anyway.

  63. HEY!! Mercury is in retrograde with a particularly intense full moon. (hence the computer crash). Hang in there, it’ll be over before you can say, “I’d like another beer, please”. πŸ™‚

  64. I feel your pain. DH is transitioning from antique laptop to tablet. I missed the worst of it as we bought the tablet en route to delivering me to the airport. I hope that by the time I return he’ll be through the worst of it.

  65. I feel for you. I’m a journalist and at one point my desktop and my laptop crashed at the same time, leaving me with an urgent deadline and nothing to write on or connect to the internet. Since I work from home, this is an issue. Thank God for the genius who invented the flash drive, as I had backed it all up on a flash drive when it looked like one or the other might be in trouble. So then my only problem was the twelve-mile drive to the local library to connect to the internet, plug in my little flash drive, and file my copy for the week. I only wish I’d had a beer, but then of course I wouldn’t have been able to drive. Life is complex and getting more complicated all the time. I’m so grateful for the knitting, which keeps me from smashing computers and punching people on a regular basis.

    Your blanket and sock both look divine. I am knitting and Icelandic Long Shawl for a beloved sister in law, and the white got to me, too. I found tangerine mohair at the LYS and a splash of serious colour was the perfect antidote. I can almost look with equanimity at the shawl again.

  66. As an alternative to actual damage, try throwing baking pans down the hallway – they don’t break, don’t break other things, and make a lovely satisfying clatter. Don’t use the expensive ones you just bought; they sometimes get a bit dented.

  67. I have the same feelings about my iPad, I don’t think they are designed for actual work. I have similar issues with adding photos from it. Enjoy the beer a knit.

  68. It worked! Good for you. And the blanket looks gorgeous, and the sock looks good. Definitely apply multiple beers. I may have to do so myself as I am starting, for time number 3, a baby sweater for a friend’s newbie. I am trying to hold off the alcohol, but it is hard. . . .

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  70. You actually can use a mouse with an iPad. A Magic Mouse with the MagicPref app can be used, and there may be others.

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