Mum

It is with the most profound sadness that I tell you that my darling mother Bonnie died last night.

mumbeachcool 2015-02-20

I would like nothing more right now than to tell you all everything. To tell you every detail of her, and every amazing thing about her and how her hands were and the incredible things she did with her one wild and precious life, and all that has happened during the brief time she was ill, but it is all too raw. I feel like her death has left me somehow ripped or broken open, and I want to be so careful about what spills out, lest I can never put it back.

A little time. A little space. I’ll be back.

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1,336 thoughts on “Mum

  1. I’ve lost both my parents in the past 24 months- there are no words to help. Seek peace in her life, be kind to yourself, and let others help. My heart breaks for you and your family. My sincerest condolences on your loss.

  2. Oh, my dear. I am so sorry. She gave us you and yours, so we mourn her with you though we never met.. It’s touch the balloons–so hard to let them go….Love and peace, Stephanie.

  3. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I know how much it hurts and how she can never be replaced. I hope you can find peace in many happy memories.

  4. I’m so sorry, Stephanie,

    I lost my mother this year too (May 1). It hurts, a lot, to miss someone you love so much.

    Here’s to our mothers. What gorgeous and precious women they were.

  5. So very sorry to hear this, Stephanie. We’ve all been worried by your absence and now we know our worries were well founded. Take care of yourself. The road ahead is difficult.

  6. I am so profoundly sorry, Stephanie. Losing a beloved parent is awful. Take care of yourself and all your family and we’ll be here when you get back.

  7. My heart breaks for you. There are no words to give you comfort but I can assure this terrible sorrow will eventually, someday, never totally leave, but will begin to morph into happy, loving memories.

  8. Oh Stephanie! I’m so very sorry. From your blog, we’ve gotten to know her a little bit, and she seemed absolutely wonderful. I know you have amazing memories and those will help you through in time. Take all the time you need. We’ll be here when you are ready. Big hugs to you and your family.

  9. I’m so, so sorry to hear this news. I’m a LONG time blog reader, and I know she was one spunky, fun, precious woman. I’m SO glad for the summer trips you’ve had together in recent years. Beautiful memories that can never be taken away. Praying for comfort for your family. Hold that sweet Eliot as much as you can. Babies are so healing to the heart.

  10. I’m so sorry I’m sure I won’t be alone in saying take all the time you need. Sometimes though it does need to spill out, sending hugs and love x

  11. I am so sorry to hear your news. Deep breaths and hug loved ones.

    Some of my favorite blogs of yours was when you and your mom would take a break from the Canadian winter and go some place exotic to warm up. She always seemed like a larger than life force that calmly lead your family along its path. I picture her on a zip line gliding through the forest having a grand time.

  12. Sending you all the love and positive thoughts I can.
    Yesterday it was 8 years since my sister passed away from us and I still miss her every day.
    Take time with your family, cuddle the littles, recover what peace you can when you are able to.

  13. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need – we’re not going anywhere. Much love and hugs and thoughts and prayers for you and yours xx

  14. So very very sorry for your loss. Your stories about your mother were a small glimpse of what a tremendous woman she was. Hugs and love from a distance.

  15. So very very sorry for your loss. Take the time you need. We will be here when you are ready to come back. Consider yourself hugged & know you & yours are loved always.

  16. So sorry for your loss. So much love goes to you upon this sad news. You told us a lot about your mum over the years and her loss will be felt by all of us. She is a part of all our hearts and part of our collective memory and love for you.
    Take care…

  17. I am so sorry to hear. Take all the time you want or need. We wish you and your family our sincere condolences and will be thinking of you.

  18. I am very sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my Mum totally unexpectedly 10 years ago. You will get through this and it does get easier.

  19. My heart goes out to you. I can honestly say I know a bit of what you are going through, as my husband is currently in inpatient hospice. Sending hugs.

  20. They tell us the pain will ease but the gap will always remain. Hopefully when the gap is felt the memories, both serious and silly will fill in for a while. You’ve been rocked hard with the sudden loss but it sounds like you also have some good memories. Hope they provide some comfort for you and your family. Take care.

  21. My deepest condolences. I love the postings of your family even more than of knitting and spinning, and those of your mother stand out–especially of your tropical trips in the winter. You had a wonderful mother and she a wonderful daughter.

    Please take whatever time you need. Tell, don’t tell, your decision. The Blog will understand.

  22. I am sure I am not alone in thinking of your mum as a member of the Blog.

    She meant so much to you; the loss is breathtaking. I am so sorry for you and the family. Love and strength to all.

  23. My heart goes out to you and your family. August 28th was the 7th anniversary of my mother’s death and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I won’t tell you that it gets better but with time the totally raw pain eases and you can remember all the great times you had with her, all she taught you, all your mother was and rejoice in the fact that this wondrous person was your mother without feeling that your heart will shatter.

  24. Stephanie,
    I am so sorry to hear of this loss. Please take all the time you need. Strength and love to you in this time of grief.

    ~Annaliese

    • Beautifully said, rams.

      My first thought was, “crap!” I was so looking forward to more Mom and Steph adventures. (It’s all about me – don’t you know?)
      hugs to Stephanie.
      add to that, I had to touch the cat. Just lost mine…..:(

    • Yes , a woolly pocket of love for Steph. She gives so much to us and it’s hard when we can’t give back all the joy she gives to us. I agree with everyone who says take all the time you need and only share what you want to Steph and lots of love to you. If The Blog was living near you, you would be so stuffed full of soup and cake. Your freezer would be full of vegetarian lasange that we made you and you would be wrapped up in 1000 sock yarn memory blankets/ mitred square blankets/lace shawls and probably couldn’t move from underneath all the fibre we would give to you! I imagine that my birth mother who I havent found yet is in the sky and I talk to her, in my mind. So I don’t know what your going through but I do know a bit about sky mothers and I can tell you they are always there and they listen and they like funny stories! I feel just as close to her as if she were a real person, right in front of me. That’s my crazy sharing for the day ,anyway. Xox to everyone.

    • exactly so, Rams

      Stephanie – so very sorry for this – The Blog has your back – Hugs to all, special kisses for the Babe

  25. My heart weeps for you. I am in tears for you. It is very difficult to lose your mother. Wishing all your family comfort and peace.

  26. Oh goodness, I hoped you were alright with the gap in posts – this such unbelievably sad news.

    The loss of a mother is like nothing else – remember to be gentle with yourself.

  27. My heart breaks for you and your family. Losing your mum rips right through the core of your being. Your mother seemed like such a fun loving and warm person.
    My deepest sympathies. Take the time you need and remember that the Blog loves you

  28. Steph, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you all of the best wishes for comfort and peace and the support of those around you.

  29. So sorry for the death of your Mom. I hope all the good energy swirling towards you from near and far can be of some comfort. Be with the ones you love, cry, laugh, drink some wine or scotch or both, eat and tell stories. We will still be here when you are ready to come back to us. Send you strength and hope.

  30. My heart goes out to you, Stephanie. Losing a mom is sooo hard. I lost mine 15 years ago and I still find myself thinking “I need to tell Mom about this”. Much love coming your way. Hang in there.

    eta: once again the robot monitor is watching. Touch the clock to post. We never have enough time with our loved ones.

  31. My deepest, deepest condolences. I lost my maternal Grandma and my husband lost his maternal Nana this summer, both unexpectedly. There is nothing I can say to ease your pain, but I am trying to take my own solace in continuing to make what I can with my hands, as my Grandma did. Soon I will be hanging the stained glass hummingbird in the window I inherited from her, and I will be wrapping my family in woollies inspired by the multitudes she made for us.

    Take care dear friend, and hold your beautiful grandbaby tight.

  32. Dear dear Steph, I am so sorry, there are no words. Know that we are here, that we are always here behind you to hold you up when you need us. Sending you and your family much love.

  33. Oh, Stephanie, I am so very sorry to read of your loss. There are no words to express the depths that bereavement takes you to, just know that people are thinking of you and yours and wishing you all strength to cope with the aftermath of life after mum. Hugs and best wishes xx

  34. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum 12 years ago and there are still times when the grief rips through me. Be kind to yourself please.

  35. Dear Stephanie,
    My sincerest condolences… Virtual hugs coming your way. Holding you and your family in my thoughts.

    ❤️❤️❤️

  36. Sending love and condolences to you and to the entire extended family that has been left bereft by such a deep loss. May you all find some peace and comfort in your love for each other.

  37. Although we have never met, I think of you as a dear, dear friend and my heart breaks for you and your entire family. I will hold you in my thoughts.

  38. I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. Please know that knitters throughout the world are holding you and your family in our hearts and sending warmest condolences.

  39. My condolences to you and your family. I expect it feels like it can’t be really happening and horribly real at the same time. Take comfort in your memories and knowing that many people care and are thinking of you. With sympathy.

  40. My sincere condolences on the loss of your Mother. I cannot even comprehend how much this loss must hurt. Wishing you and your family peace and healing during this sad time.

  41. I am so very sorry for your loss. I’ve loved hearing about (and sometimes seeing!) all the wonderful adventures you and your girls have had with her through the years. She was clearly an amazing mum. I know a little of what you’re feeling, as I, too, lost my own mother after an illness. It’s been 5 years and I still reach for my phone to send her a quick text. I will always miss her, but it DOES hurt a little less now.

    Personally, I’ve always found the Jewish faith to have it right when it comes to grief. Let yourself fully feel everything for the first year. And, as they say, may her memory be a blessing.

  42. My deepest condolences to you and your family. All losses are hard, but there is something that stings a little differently when it is your mother. We will all be here for you when you’re ready.

  43. So very sorry for your tragic loss. Sending thoughts and prayers of love, peace, and comfort. We’re here when you need us.❤️

  44. I’m so sorry that you and yours are going through this tremendous pain and loss. I wish I could bring you all a pot of soup and some warm bread for comfort. Take the time you need for yourselves.

  45. I lost my mother 10 years ago and it still feels fragile. Take all the time that you need to be able to care for the broken parts.

  46. Stephanie I’m so sorry. It was such a pleasure to share bits of your relationship with her– especially your trips the last couple of years.

    My deepest sympathy

  47. I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. From your posts I can tell that she deeply loved her family, and was deeply loved by them in return.

    You will be in my thoughts tonight.

  48. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Sending love and hugs. Feeling your pain – been there with my parents. Time will help. ❤️

  49. Oh, Steph. I will leave you the only words that resonated in my deepest grief: it hurts just as much as it is worth.

    Love is like life, merely longer.

  50. Dear Stephanie and family….There are no words that express how sad I am to hear of your mom’s death. I loved reading about her when you would write about her and always thought that you and your family were so blessed to have her. Know that I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. We will all be here when you are ready….remember that you all are loved very much. Shalom.

  51. Your mother sounds like an amazing woman and has inspired you and your family, particularly the females, in tremendous ways. I am so sorry for your loss, and your family’s loss. Hold on tight to each other.

  52. A hug from the blog.

    So nice that you were able to spend time with your mummy’s year. Cherish that.

    We will be here when you are ready.

  53. My heart hurts for you and your family. It was easy to tell from the way you talked about your mom through the years what a wonderful person she was. Wishing you peace and wonderful memories as your family rallies together through this.

  54. Oh my gosh Stephanie, I was not expecting this. I am so sorry. Sending much love and healing vibes through the universe channels. Oh man…

  55. oh Steph I am so, so sorry. I’ve had you in my prayers since the first week of radio silence when I was afraid something bad was happening, and will continue for you and all your family. Take care of yourself, hug all those you love close to you, take all the time you need.

  56. So very sorry. Been there. I miss telling mine all the good stuff the most. One day we’re the elders, such an odd situation.

  57. Oh No! I’m so sorry. I remember your descriptions of vacations with her… to Cuba, for instance. My thoughts are with you and the rest of your family.

  58. Oh no wonder you were gone. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost your Mother. You and all your family have my sincere condolences. You take whatever time you need. We the blog will be here when you’re up to returning. Consider yourself hugged

  59. I’ve been a long time reader but have rarely (if ever) commented for some reason. This post moved me so much, and I couldn’t help but tear up with compassion for you, your mother and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you all the grace and space to move through the grieving process in exactly the way you need to. I’m holding you and your family in my thoughts.

    • Very well said. I too have been a long time reader who rarely comments, but love you and yours as if we have been friends for all this time. I am sorry for your loss and am holding you and your family in my heart. Lots of love to you all.

  60. oh, Stephanie, I’m so sorry. Keep breathing, be kind to yourself, let yourself do whatever you need to do to process. We’re here when you need us. xxoo

  61. Losing someone who has been so much a part of your life always hurts like crazy. A very wise woman once wrote that grief is a process that takes as long as it takes. However long it takes you to work through the process, take that time; don’t let anyone try to put a time limit on it.

    Meanwhile, I (like the rest of the blog) will be sending you healing thoughts.

  62. I am so sorry about the loss of your mum. All of us that care about you understand that you need to take some time to digest the event and it’s implications and to come to a place where you feel comfortable talking about it. Take that time, do what you need to do. We will all still be here when things begin the long road of healing and acceptance. The loss will never go away, we just have to find ways of coping with it. Hugs and prayers!

  63. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Every time you have written of her we can see her joy and the love between you.
    You and your family will be in my thoughts

  64. I am so, so sorry for your and your family’s loss. From the glimpses I’ve had through your blog I know she was an amazing woman. Sending you and yours love and prayers as you cope with this wrenching change in your world.

  65. Stephanie, I am so very sorry that you and your family have lost this wonderful woman. Your love and joy in her was evident in every word you ever wrote about her. Physically, she may have departed this earth, but her love and her spirit live on in your hearts always.

  66. Thank you for having shared a bit of your life with your wonderful mother with all of us in your “blog family”. Please accept our sincere condolences. May memories of good times help you to continue on, through the pain of this loss.

  67. I am so sorry. There is no way to fully explain to someone else why or how the people who are most precious to us are so wonderful. But everyone who has ever lost someone like that knows that losing them is the most wrenching thing that can happen. Wishing you and your family the joy of many happy memories and, in time, peace.

  68. So sorry for this sudden and unexpected loss in your lives. May your love for her and the memories you have bring some consolation at this time.

  69. Stephanie… I am so sorry. I know from your writings that she was such a wonderful person, and what a profound loss this is. We love you. Take as much time as you need.

  70. So very sorry. My mom died on Dec 31. The ground shakes beneath your feet and you feel like it will never stop. But it does and eventually you realize that you are now ‘senior’ female in the family. A sobering realization. Hugs.

  71. I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. May her memory be a blessing and a comfort to you and all who mourn her passing, now and always.

  72. I am so sorry about the news of your terrible loss. I wondered when you were silent, hoping that it didn’t mean something was wrong.

    I always loved reading about your Mom, or especially finding a comment written by her every now and then. She was unbelievably witty, like her daughter.

  73. Oh my dear, I’m sending so much love your way. From what you’ve told us she was an amazing person and I’m sure will be much missed. {{{hugs}}} from afar.

  74. I am so sorry to hear this. Take all the time and space you need to grieve, and find new footing. We will still be here when you feel up to returning. I enjoyed reading about your mother, and the occasional comments she left here. Peace, comfort, and gentleness, to you and yours.

  75. Oh my gosh! I met her once, I think? Thinking of you as I know family is important and I know you will miss her forever! The price we pay for Love!

  76. It seemed like you had a wonderfully close bond. Sending you peace and love during these days and weeks to come. She will be with you always.

  77. Oh Stephanie, my heart breaks for you. I know how much your loved your Mum and how much she loved you. I wish I could find the right words to tell you how sorry I am. Just know that I am thinking of you and wish you all the strength to get through this horribly difficult time. 🙁

  78. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, we are never old enough to not need them, and their loss leaves such a huge hole in our lives and our hearts. Even after 14 years I’ve found that the holes don’t go away, but they stop bleeding and eventually stop hurting so much. The love that you shared will never go away, it will always be there to comfort you.
    I think it’s wonderful that she got to be a great-grandmother to Elliot for a little while.
    Seems as though the whole blog is sending healing thoughts and love.

  79. I am so so sorry to hear this news! My deepest condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts as you go through very sad time.❤️

  80. Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear this. I was concerned that your silence on the blog was due to a family emergency. My mother’s death was a blow, and it took a while to recover. Blessings on your family as you grieve a beloved matriarch.

  81. I knew it was going to be bad. Sincerest condolences to you and yours.

    You’re never old enough to lose your mum. Eventually, you get used to it, more or less, but not ‘over’ it. Thirty + years later, I still want my mum.

    What I felt at the time was disorientated and panicked free-fall, combined with the notion I’d just been shoved to the head of the line.

    Prayers for comfort and peace. Take all the time you need. The Blog will be here.

  82. Deepest hugs and sympathy.

    May her memory be a blessing to you. We are ready to walk with you when you are ready for us. Hugs and love,

  83. Stephanie, my heart is broken for you and your family. Loss, especially one so profound, changes the shape of your life forever. I’ll be keeping you in my heart, dear one.

  84. I am so so sorry fpr your loss. I’m sure you have enough running through your head. Be assured that we all hold you (and your sister and everyone) in our hearts. I wish I could give you a hug and cry with you.

  85. Take all the time you need and more. The blog will be here when you come back. I am so very sorry for your loss. Blessings, love, and peace for your mum, you, and your family.

  86. You owe us nothing. We all owe you condolences, sympathies, and prayers, for you and your family, for what has to be a tremendous loss.

    Take your time.
    Hug your people.
    Count your blessings, not your burdens.
    We’ll be here with love and support.

  87. I lost my mother almost ten years ago, it gets a little better but never goes away.
    Be kind to yourself, hug babies and your grown children. Let them hug you and don’t try to shove the tears away to be strong.

  88. Oh, I am so very sorry that you lost you Mum. There just are NO words for this tragedy.

    She sounds like she was a wonderful woman and what a blessing that she was your mother. Peace be with your family.

  89. Good healing thoughts with you and yours. Take the time to hug your girls and your grandson and be kind to yourself. The black hole will get smaller and become memories….

  90. No matter how many people say how sorry they are, there’s always room for more — love, hugs, and eventually the happy memories will sustain you.

  91. Condolences to you and your family on such a profound loss. She may be missed, but never forgotten. You and your family are in my prayers.

  92. Oh, Stephanie. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so very sorry. I will hold you and your family and the people who loved your mom in my heart and my prayers and in the light. There is never enough time with the people we love.

    I’m including this link to a Dear Sugar article that comforted me after my husband died. It’s okay if you never click it, it’s okay, take all the time you need, be gentle with yourself, please please be gentle with yourself. This is just about the hardest thing in the world, what you’re going through.

    http://therumpus.net/2011/07/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-78-the-obliterated-place/

    I don’t have words, so I’m borrowing these. You never lose the love you have for your mum, and you never lose the love she had for you. There’s no where you can go, that she won’t be there with you. I’m positive she was and is proud of you. And I hope Millie is keeping her company. hugs and condolences and have a drink for your mom for me

  93. I am so sad and sorry for your loss. Having read about some of your adventures with her, she sounds quite wonderful and I know you will miss her terribly. Sincere condolences.

  94. Stephanie, I’m So Very Sorry about your Mum’s passing. It’s an awful club to join when you lose someone you love and yet, we’re here to hold you in thought, word and deed. Much Peace to your family at this difficult time and I am holding you in the Light.

  95. Steph, may all the memories of the best of times with your mom carry you through this difficult moment of loss. “The Blog” will be here whenever you feel like returning.

  96. I’m so sorry! I wish I had magic words to make it better, but they don’t exist. Time helps some. Thank you for telling us. I was a bit worried.

  97. Oh Stephanie, I’m so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away this year also, in February. Take care of yourself and your family, knowing that we’re all sending our love….

    • Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. Know you and your entire family are in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing all the wonderful stories and adventures of your mum through your blog.

  98. Oh, dear Stephanie, I am in tears. Please accept my most sincere condolences. I know there are no words right now — I lost my own Mom right after Christmas and I am still reeling. All I can offer right now by way of comfort is that no matter what awaits us, or not, as we enter that final doorway, we are immortal as long as we are remembered. Much love and many long distance hugs from Louisiana…

    Dez

  99. Oh dear, I’m so very sorry. What a shock. Your mom seemed like a spunky woman, from your descriptions of her. Such a loss.
    Take the time you need, seek solace from your family and friends and knitting, and take good care. Holding you in my heart and thoughts.

  100. Dear Stephanie – I am so very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. No words are appropriate, but know that you have honoured her well in your roles as mother, grandmother and friend all along, and I’m sure you will continue to do so. Hold tight to your memories as they will bring you much comfort – time does not heal all wounds, but it will soften the edges.

  101. I’m so sorry to hear this. Your adventures with your mum were some of my favorite stories on this blog. My condolences and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. 🙁

  102. Ah, such sorrow. Another part of the lovely Mary Oliver poem you quote seems so apt:

    “Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
    I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
    into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
    how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
    which is what I have been doing all day.”

    Wishing you the comfort of strolling and open spaces as you grieve —

  103. I still “talk” to my mother every day and I channel her chicken soup making or baking genes whenever I feel the need to nurture myself. She passed away 11 years ago and there are times that I am still shocked that she is not there. Take the time you need. It is profound to lose a parent. At the same time, I hope you can feel grateful to have had such a mother.

  104. Very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. What you’ve said here is a wonderful tribute to her in itself. Time enough to tell us the full story when you’re ready.

  105. words seem so inadequate. I’m sorry Stephanie. You are so dear to so many , and I know we all wish we could wrap you in our arms and comfort you. I lost my mother suddenly last summer and I know how painful and wrenching it is. The best advice I got was of course from another knitter : ” be gentle with your self “. Much love to you and yours

  106. I’m so sorry.

    Now is the time for family and remembering. Take the time needed for you and yours.

    We’ll be here when you get back.

    Thoughts and prayers.

  107. I know that raw feeling. The severity of the pain gets a little less raw after a bit. Be kind to yourself and try to let others take a little care of you. My heart and thoughts are with you ❤️

  108. Dear Stephanie, I am crying my eyes out over your heartbreaking news. Our mum’s are our rock, our safe place to vent about things that only they will understand because they are your mum. My heart is with you and your family during this very difficult time. I loved the grand adventures you two shared together and with us. She looked like a real firecracker and enjoyed life to its fullest. Don’t worry about us, we will be here when you need us. Peace friend…
    Michele

  109. Words are a bitter and impotent stand-in for what occupies the heart at times like this. I am grateful to your felicity with words that has allowed me to see glimmers of your mother on these blog pages and in your books over the years. I will not soon forget her expression while a monkey sat on her head/shoulders. Keep in mind that the immensity of the grief and pain is in large part due to the strength of the bond that you shared and will continue to share. I wish you and your family peace and solace.

  110. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My mom passed away two years ago and it was such a difficult time. Sending you hugs and may you be surrounded with love while it all washes over you.

  111. I have been thinking of you often since the rally. I’m thinking of you and your family. Mainly I’m thinking ‘it sucks’. I hope there is peace for your hearts as soon as ever there can be.

  112. Love and prayers to you all from over the pond in mid-Wales, with our deepest sympathy. Been there, nearly 22 years ago, and still miss her (and my Dad 27 years earlier). Love never dies, though, and they’re still with us in some way. Bless you all.

  113. I am so sorry, Stephanie. I lost my mother exactly 3 years ago, and still miss her every day. Please take all the time you need, and take care of yourself and your family. We’ll be here when you are ready.

  114. I am so sorry for your loss. I was worried about the “radio silence”. I lost my mother almost 30 years ago. Time will ease the pain but your memories will remain. Hold on to the good memories, let go of the bad ones. You will be in my thoughts.

  115. My heart aches for you, Stephanie. Be gentle with yourself. Grief is such hard work. I hope your memories of your wonderful mom will help you heal. Sending you hugs.

  116. So sorry for your profound loss. “The Blog” loves you and is surrounding you with love, prayers, and light for you and yours. We’ll be here when you get back.

  117. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mother. Words are of small comfort, but know that you and your family will be in my thoughts. I lost my Mom six week ago and I feel the emptiness daily. The tears are fewer, and the good memories are beginning to overtake the tears.
    Wishing you peace.

  118. Steph, my heart goes out to you and your family. There are no words but please take care of yourself and give yourself all the time you need. All your readers are sending you you hugs.

  119. I think we all knew something tough was happening and are grateful you chose to share with us. I know I have been thinking of you and peace to you multiple times every day for several weeks.

    Grieving is a journey that can become less bumpy over time.

    Gratitude for your family and your friends and support network. Thank good card of yourself. We love you.

  120. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I will say Sanskrit prayers for her to ease her transition, which is the only thing I know to do. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

  121. Stephanie I am so very sorry. I am at a loss at this moment, all I know is that I was so privileged to have had your Mum as first my boss, then my mentor, sometimes my “second Mum” and always, always my friend. I can say without hesitating that your Mum was the most extraordinary woman I have known. I am shattered by this news. I can’t imagine how it must be for all of you. Peace and big hugs. Carol

  122. Dear Stephanie,
    I, too, am so sorry for your loss. The pic on Instagram is perfect. I hope you can remember her like that.

    Prayers and hugs coming your way.

  123. Please accept my deepest condolences. It can’t be an accident that your family seems so wonderful. I feel confident that it came thru your dear mum.

  124. My mum died exactly 2 years ago today. Personally, I am only just now starting to come out of the Cave I’ve been dwelling in all this time. That might sound like a scary omen for you, however, you are far more resilient than I.
    Give yourself time and space and don’t make anything try to look like how it’s supposed to look. You don’t owe anyone anything.

  125. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. I have never commented before but I’ve read every post and feel as though I know your family. I know your mother will be missed and I wish your family peace and comfort during this terrible time.

  126. I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom. While I never met her, but I have a smile on my face thinking about the times you wrote about her. She seemed like such a unique and funny person. Try to take solace in her memory.

  127. Take all the time you need; your faithful friends online will wait. A big online hug from me, and know that we all sympathize with your huge loss.

  128. I am so very sorry. Mums are special and cannot be replaced. Hug that little grandchild a little closer. She lives through him. Peace and love.

  129. Dear Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear this news. I lost my mom in 2015. Please take as much time as you need to grieve and start healing. My sympathy to you and your family.

  130. Dear Steph,
    I do, unfortunately, know how you feel. I am sorry, so very sorry. We will be here and awaiting your return when you feel it is right.

    May peace be upon you and all whom you love and hold dear.

  131. There are no words or healing for this. There is simply the time with your mum and the time after. I lost my dad 7 years ago this November and life has not been the same since. I find solace in the fact that he would be so proud of my life now and the choices I have made in the last year.

    What I am trying to say is that as someone who lost a parent at a young age, is, honour her memory in every way you can, and live in a manner that she would be proud of. And also, your grandson needs lots of cuddles right now. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  132. So very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you and your family need, and know that you have a legion of well wishers sending you positive energy.

  133. I am so sorry for your loss. We will hold her, you, and your whole family in the light. If there is anything the Blog can do, we will do it.

  134. I am so profoundly sorry you can no longer see/talk with your mother in person. I no longer can do either with my own. It just doesn’t sound or feel right to say you lost her, like she’s been misplaced. My deepest sympathies extend your way.

  135. I am so sorry for your loss. I am 61 and I lost my Mom in 2009. We were very close. I don’t know if you ever get over it. I find I am learning to live without her but I still think — I need to tell Mom that! My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family.

  136. I have missed you the past few weeks. I did not know what was happening in your life, I just knew that it was unusual that you would leave us (the blog) for so long. I have no words of wisdom, only love to give to you and those you hold dear.

  137. So sorry for your loss. A mother’s love is unique. Keep your mother’s memory in your heart, and she will always be with you.

  138. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. You bring such joy into our lives, hoping you find some peace in yours in the coming days.

  139. Steph–Love is stronger than death. May you find peace and hope and comfort in the love given and received. Surrounding you with my love.
    Meredyth

  140. I’ve been worried something heart breaking was going on in your life. My love to you and your family. May the love of your especially wonderful mum continue giving you joy, wisdom, strength, and humor as she lives on in infinite ways through you and her precious family.

  141. I expressed my sympathy on your Instagram page, but I just wanted to add that I’m so happy she met her great grandson. That’s a blessing that neither my mother nor mother in law received. All my best to your girls, too.

  142. I am so sorry to hear of your deep loss. Know that you are all in our thoughts. I hope remembering all the good memories of her are a comfort.

  143. I am so very sorry to hear this Stephanie. Please accept my most sincere condolences to you and your family for this tremendous loss.
    Take all the time you need.

  144. Oh I am so very sorry for your loss–it was clear through your words over the years what a magnificent woman she was. Peace to you and your family during this time.

  145. Praying for peace for your family and gratitude that you are close to one another and can lean together for strength as you learn a new way of living without her.

  146. My deepest sympathy to you and your family on this devastating loss. Your mum was a very special woman; she spread joy far and wide. I’m so glad that she got to meet her great-grandson.

  147. Oh I am so sorry to hear this. I hope your friends and family and your happy memories of her can help lift you through this loss. Besos y abrasos from Tucson, Arizona.

  148. Hugs to you and everyone who loved her or was loved by her. Your mind will be elsewhere while you grieve, so be careful and patient with yourself and everyone around you.

    When you feel like writing again we will be here.

  149. We love you. No explanation needed.. take all the time… loving healing blessings to you and your family. Let yourself just be. Hold that baby. Love kathleen in Vermont

  150. I don’t know you, but you’ve given me so many laughs and tears over the years with your writing, that I just want to say, I’m crying for you and your family. Wishing you peace and healing.

  151. So, so sorry Stephanie. She’ll never leave you. Your bond is too strong. She’ll always be there ‘just around the corner’.

  152. As part of the blog family please accept my deepest sympathies. A profound loss of a special loved one is felt by all. Peace to you and your family…

  153. I only know your mother thru the blog obviously, but she seemed a vibrant and colorful lady. My sympathies to you and your family. May your memories become friends.

  154. I am so sorry to read of your loss. Take care of yourself, then take care of the others.

    May your memories bring you comfort during this sad time.

  155. I am more sorry than I can ever really say. I lost my dad almost two years ago and it still comes in waves. Let yourself grieve the way you need to, take your time, be kind to yourself. A loss like this, is forever changing. Little things will send you over the edge, and that’s completely ok. The truth is, nothing will ever be the same, you will miss her forever. What will get you through is the love of your family. And to know that you are so very loved. God Bless. I’ll keep you all in my prayers. Please remember to be kind to and forgiving of yourself. All my love, Liz

  156. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us through your stories and posts. We all will be thinking of you and your family.

  157. Oh, Stephanie. I am so sorry. I wish you peace in the beautiful memories that you have. She seemed so youthful and I thought how lucky you were to have the beautiful getaways that you had with her. I lost my Mom in 2000. She had just turned 70. I still need her. I want to call her to talk about world events, my kids, my grandchildren…I talk to her and write to her and last week, in a dream, I felt her hug me, oh so tightly. It was the best. She is always with me and no doubt, your Mom will always be with you. My condolences. ❤️

  158. Stephanie, please accept my sincere condolences. Nothing will take away the pain, but time will ease it, and you will be able to clearly remember the good times and the strong bond that will ALWAYS connect you.

  159. Dearest Stephanie:
    We all knew something must be wrong. Many of us have been where you find yourself now, we understand. Be with your family and take care of yourself. The Blog will be here when you need us.

  160. Stephanie. Sending prayers, hugs and peace your way. Cry when you want, hug your little one, remind each
    other with stories and it is ok to laugh. So many send you strength, love and support. Allow others the gift of taking care of you.

    • How true about it being ok to laugh. My favorite picture of my niece is of her and me laughing at my mom’s funeral. So many of us lovingly laughed that day……

  161. Add another heartfelt note of sympathy from me. I’ve lost both parents and I know how torn up it makes you feel. It hurts so bad. There’s no getting around that. I’m glad you have such a wonderful family to see you through. *more hugs*

  162. So very sorry for you and your family. Love and strength to take care of each other. So very glad you have many good memories of her and that she got to meat Elliott.

  163. I am so sorry. You have always spoken of your mom with such affection; the joy you found in your relationship (and I know she found as well) was obvious. Sending hugs and love from Illinois.

  164. I am so, so sorry, Stephanie. Losing a parent, especially one with whom you are close, is wrenchingly painful. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  165. I am so sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I lost my mother on July 24th so I understand the deep rift it leaves. Please remember that so many people love you and your family through the words you share with us. I wish your mother and all of you peace.

  166. What I know for sure: the pain of losing your mum is directly proportionate to how deeply you love her. This is a huge tear in the fabric of your life that can never be mended. Nothing will ever be the same.

    You were so fortunate to be her daughter. Thoughts and prayers for you in the difficult weeks and months ahead.

  167. So sorry for your great loss.

    We are here to suuport you, and we love you. Do what you need to for yourself and your family. Hugs.

  168. Oh no, I’m so sorry Steph. My thoughts are with you and your family. She was a lovely person, and it was wonderful “meeting” her through your writing. So much sympathy.

  169. I am so sorry to read this. From your various posts about her she always sounded like a wonderful person. May you hold precious memories close and know that The Blog will be here when you are ready. Peace, yarnharlot and family.

  170. Oh Stephanie, my heart sinks to read these words. Prayers to the universe that all the love and comfort you’ve put out into the world come back to you and surround you and your family. Prayers for comfort, healing, and peace coming your way as well. Take what you need and come back when you need more.

  171. You have all the time in the world. I am glad that your mother had time to hold her great-grandchild, and that you and yours had your time with her. All our love. And baked goods as well.

  172. Stephanie, I am beyond sad to hear of your mum’s passing. I’m sending you and your family my heartfelt condolences. I hope the memories you have of her give you peace and comfort in your time of sorrow. ((Hugs))

  173. You will feel ripped apart and lost for quite some time. That’s ok, it means your mom took a piece of you with her. That’s good.

    Tonight I will be praying for you and all those who loved your mom. She must have been amazing, because you top them all.

  174. I am so sorry for your loss – may you and your family be spared further sorrow and may you all rejoice in the wonderful memories and stories that will remain with you forever.

  175. “and the incredible things she did with her one wild and precious life”.

    That pretty much sums up everything you could possibly say and everything you need to hold on to.

    I have been in that neighbourhood, and you will find your way through (as I did, am still doing) because you have an incredible support system of family and friends.

    I will hold you all in my heart and my prayers.

    Peace, strength and courage be within all those she loved.

    Chris S in Canada

  176. My eyes and my heart are full for you Stephanie. Gentle hugs and all my sorrow and love for you and your family. Take all the time you need.

  177. oh very sad. i loved all the stories and reading of your trips witb your Mom. i hope your wonderful memories will soon ease the pain.

  178. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is like losing a piece of you but she will live on in your heart, and memories.

  179. I am so, so very sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care and take time to remember all your wonderful times together. Hold each other very close.

  180. Words completely fail me. I’ve always loved your stories of your time with her, and marveled at the woman who created the women we’ve come to love here. The Blog will wait for you. Now, is about you and yours. Take care.

  181. i am so very deeply sorry. i loved reading the stories of your adventures together, and the way you spoke of her and knew her was so clearly so very, very loving and strong. may you and your clan find comfort, soon and speedily, and may your mother be held in the arms of the eternal.

  182. The stories of your mom are some of my favorite, especially those during the holidays. Although your heart aches, take the time to remember all the stories you can so that little e and all his future cousins will know their great grandmother.

    With my deepest sympathy, kate

  183. My heart breaks for you once more, Stephanie. I am so sorry. Sending you and your family light and love at this most difficult of times. Hugs.

  184. There is nothing that can be said except that I’m so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this awful time.

  185. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing glimpses of her over the years. She sounds lovely and obviously loved and was loved. Be gentle with yourself.

  186. I knew only a little of your mother. The bits that you were generous to share. What I knew she seemed to be a marvel and I am so glad for the time that you had. I hate goodbyes.

  187. Your lovely mom seemed like such a bright spot in the world. Thank you for sharing a tiny bit of her with the Blog. I’m so sorry she’s gone. Take whatever time you need; we’ll be here, holding you in our hearts.

  188. I am filled with sadness at the passing of a woman I know only through your posts. She sounds like one hell of a broad, and I bet everyone who knew her was incredibly lucky indeed. You and yours (and that includes the extended fam & friends) are in my thoughts.

  189. So sorry for your loss.
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    To have such a short while to get used to the idea of loosing her, and say all the words you want to say to her, is very sad.
    Poor you who are left behind

  190. We, the blog, (I hope I can speak for the majority), are here for you. Our hearts go out to you and your family.

    Take all the time you need. We will wait. All my love to you.

  191. So many of us were trying to somehow, as best as we could, be there for you at the same time that it broke the blog.

    I am so very sorry you lost your mum. I am holding you and yours in my thoughts and my love in the face of such an incomprehensible grief.

  192. You have so generously shared so much of your life with us, and we all feel your loss. You have so generously shared our life, and your family’s , with us and memories of your mother will be a blessing for us all. I am so sorry for your loss

  193. Whenever I need to be cheered up I think of the post about your watching the Oscars together and your mother calling Justin Timberlake “Tuscan Lumberjack.” I’ve had the opportunity to work with Jessica Biel and I mentioned that nickname to her, so your mother’s genius has made it all the way to its subject. I loved getting to read about her over the years, and wish you comfort in your time of sorrow.

  194. This is the time for extreme self care, Stephanie, and I don’t know what that means for you. Whatever it is, please do it, and we are here whenever you’re ready to share or not.

  195. I’m sending you light and love Steph, because I know how unfathomably deep and painful that loss is. May you have the time and space you need to process your grief, and to find the new person that you are, who carries this loss.

  196. You have our deepest and most sincere sympathies in this time of deep sorrow and loss. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of you and yours right now. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to come back and visit with us. HUGS.

  197. Stephanie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I loved getting to know your mother through your stories about her — she was one of a kind, and I know will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved her.

  198. There are no words. Your true friends, both in real life and virtual, will help you through this difficult time. Let them be there for you. Ask for what you need. Lean on them. And then just grieve for as long as you need to. It will feel like forever, but eventually the loss eases. We’ll still be here when you are ready and able to resume.

  199. Dear wonderful, responsible, self-conscious, introverted Stephanie,

    Don’t hold your tremendous pain in. Go outside to sob, scream and howl at the moon (yes, you can), in addition to cry into your pillow until it is soaked. Waves of sorrow will continue to come in the months and years ahead, so wash, rinse, repeat. It won’t change the fact that your mum is no longer around physically, but you may find it good for your soul. Your mum’s spirit will remain with you and those she loved forever.

    Comfort and peace to you and your family . . . in time.

  200. I am sad for you. Your mom sounded like a very fine lady. Take care. You are lucky to be a knitter and use your time to think of her as you knit each stitch. You will have to write the stories of her to pass on to Elliott and future little ones who didn’t know her.

  201. I’ve grown to love your mother, actually all the women in your family, over the stories in the blog. She will be sorely missed. Sending you love. My condolences.

  202. We were so worried about you, and, it turns out, for good reason. She must have been a powerful, loving woman to raise such a wonderful daughter as you. May she rest in peace, and may time and love help you and your family heal.

  203. Words at such times seem of little help even though you reach for them as the writer that you are and we reach for them because we are only in your computer and cannot hug you.

    There will come a time when you want to write about your grief and your wonderful, singular Mum even if words are not enough.

    I hope you know that we love you and think of you. I hope you feel that you are surrounded and upheld and that you have company in your sorrow. God bless

  204. I’m so sorry and know that nothing I write will change the pain you are feeling now. I lost my mother six years ago Sunday so can say that time will ease the pain but there will always be a missing piece of your heart. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  205. Thinking of you all and holding you in my heart, all of you, strong, fiercely good people. Your hands come from your Mum’s hands, hold them over your heart in the hard times. Wrap yourself in knitted love and we will be here when you return. Go gently dear hearts.

  206. Dear Stephanie, I just hugged my mother goodbye after she was here for lunch today and then saw your sad news. I will hug her even harder next time. (Please know my husband has just been introduced to Tuscan Lumberjack). May peace come to you with time.

  207. Life can never be the same without a Mum. But she will be with you always, each time you do that thing she showed you, or repeat that saying she had, she’ll be there.
    One of the things that comforted me was to see how many people loved my Mum as much as I did. I felt so proud that she had been mine. Seems like your Mum was that kind of person too, so I hope that will help you in these tough early days. A big Welsh hug (a cwtch) is yours x

  208. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Loosing a beloved one is so horrible and sad.
    I wish you and our family all the best and a lot of strenght to cope with this.
    Love from a long time blog reader from Germany.

  209. I am so very sorry for you all. There are no words to acknowledge the depths of your grief. For those of us who have lost our mothers, we understand how profound a loss that is, and whatever comfort and and support we can send through the blog, know that it is there. Peace be with you and your family.

  210. Oh Steph, I am so very, very sorry. I know you will be surrounded by your close-knit, loving family, and I hope that you bring one another great peace and solace. May Elliott remind you all that joy still exists in the midst of such appropriate sadness.

    Take your time, we all understand and will wait. Go gently, friend.

  211. I’m so very sorry to hear your sad news, I lost my Mother 5 years ago today. I feel the loss each and every day. My thoughts are with you. Sending my love.

  212. Oh Stephanie, I am so, so sorry. What a loss for you, your family, and everyone who knew her even a little. I used to dislike offering condolences, until I realized that the word means “to be sad with” someone. And sometimes that’s all there is to do. My deepest condolences, Stephanie. We are all sad with you. Your mum sounded awesome. And so proud of you.

  213. She was loved, she has passed her light to you. You too are loved, you carry her light. Her light is eternal.She will never be forgotten, you carry her light.
    We grief with you and for you.

  214. A mother’s love lives on in her children. She’s gone physically, but she’s still in your heart, Stephanie. Don’t rush your grief. Don’t feel you owe anyone anything at this time. You are now permanently changed, but you will move forward and bring everything you knew and experienced with your Mom as a new part of yourself. Your Mom reminded me a bit of my Mom who died 4 years ago–fun, fiercely loving, gently loving, my everything in so many ways.

  215. I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s shocking and shattering and….somehow, totally unexpected what happens to us when a parent dies. Was for me, anyway.

  216. Wishing you peace and comfort in your time of such sorry. You were lucky to have such an extraordinary mother, and Bonnie was lucky to have such an extraordinary daughter. Love to you and yours.

  217. I am deeply sorry for the tremendous loss you and your family have suffered. I send you all a heap of love and will be keeping you all in my prayers. I have learned in the last year that grief isn’t linear, so remember to be gentle with yourself as you move forward.

  218. Losing a beloved parent is so incredibly painful. We love you and will wait patiently for your healing to begin. It’s a bumpy road. Let yourself take whatever time your heart needs.

  219. I am so very sorry for your loss. Words feel so inadequate at this time. When you have had a little time to absorb this devastation, we will be right here waiting to offer comfort. I am sorry for you and your entire family must face this burden. Feel free to lean on us as much or as little as you need. Again, we are all so sorry.

  220. One of my favourite of your blog adventures was when you went to Costa Rica with your Mum. The expression on her face when she was on that zipline was priceless. The heart and soul of ‘The Blog’ is weeping with you now.

  221. I’m very sorry. I’ve enjoyed reading the stories you have shared about your mom – strong, smart and funny. I hope you give yourself grace as you grieve because everyone’s journey is different.

  222. I am so sorry for your deep loss. My mom was my best friend and when I suddenly lost her ten days before my youngest son was born I thought I would never be without the pain. That was 32 years ago, I still miss her but the extreme pain does subside and will be replaced by joyous memories. You are in my thoughts.

  223. So sorry for you loss. Losing your mother is such a difficult thing to go through. Take all the time you need and know that we are all sending you our thoughts and prayers.

  224. No words to say, only many prayers and thoughts going out to you and your family. Take your time, grieve, come back when you can

  225. I’m so sorry; my husband died suddenly this summer, so I understand the raw, gaping wound. Please take care of yourself, let others help with the everyday things. Prayers and warm thoughts winging your way.

  226. Stephanie, The Blog loves you and we loved your Mum. I’m so glad you took all those lovely Mum and Stephanie trips together. Just do what you can as you can and we will keep you in our thoughts (and from some of us, prayers), hold you and yours in the light, and patiently wait out this time of acute sorrow.

  227. I am so, so sorry, Stephanie. Hugs to you, and may you and your family find comfort and peace as you mourn the loss of this special woman.

  228. I am so very sorry. Losing a parent is very hard, and The Blog knows how close you were to her. Much love to you and your family.

  229. Please know that I, along with so many others, are hurting for you and with you at this time of change and transition. While I did not know your Mum, I felt a connection to her through your stories and photos. Mom’s are our anchor. It seems impossible to exist without them. Yet, there you are…remembering that she gave you your anchor so that you can anchor your girls on their journey. What belongs to the heart can never be forgotten. Prayers and love from Utah.

  230. My deepest condolences. Please take all the time you need to heal, knowing that all yarn lovers everywhere are sending their love and energy your way.

  231. I am so sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed reading about your trips with your mother and about what a bright force she was in your life. May her memory be a blessing for you and your family and may you find joy in the love that you have with your mother.

  232. Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. We’re never ready to lose our mothers no matter their age. My mother died in January – a friend told me to close my eyes and remember the good memories – it helps.

  233. When Mom died I couldn’t believe it wasn’t on the 10 O’clock News which should give you a clue what a blow it was. Sounds like your mum went with as much dispatch as mine did. 10 days from becoming ill to saying goodbye. I am so sorry you’ve lost her but you really never lose your mom. I talk to mine all the time and keep her picture over my sewing machine where I use her tools every time I sew. Aren’t you glad she got to meet Elliot? I’d give anything to have put my grandchildren in Mom’s arms. Sorry to be maudlin but I just want to tell you that while it never stops hurting it does become more bearable over time. My thoughts are with your family in this difficult time.

    Funny, I had to “touch the World” to prove I’m not a robot. You, Stephanie, have touched the world in more ways than you can ever know. Peace.

  234. I am so sorry fro your loss. She has left behind a wonderful legacy in you, your sister, and your families. Clearly she was an amazing woman.

  235. Take time. Remember. Cry. Pray.
    A gracious rest, grant to Bonnie dear Lord. May she rest in peace.
    Don’t come back till you want to. We, the Blog will understand.

    bjr

  236. Oh, my gosh, Stephanie , I am so sorry to hear your sad news. My condolences to you and all those who loved her. From the times you mentioned her in your blog, she sounded like she was a wonderful person .

  237. Stephanie, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. The Blog will have all of you held in our hearts until you are ready to come back.

  238. What a devastating news. I wish you strength in the times still to come, and hope you find solace in each other in facing this loss. My condoleances, take all the time you need to heal.

  239. So sorry for your loss. My mother made the transition yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Hope they both meet up and exchange funny stories about us.

  240. Dearest Stephanie, I was so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. I’ve made a donation to Doctors without Borders in your Mom’s memory.

  241. You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take all the time you need. Having lost my father, grief comes in waves – sometimes it’s a tsunami and sometimes a gentle flow. Know that you are loved and rest in all those beautiful memories of your mother – she will always live in your heart & being.

  242. So sorry to hear this Stephanie. Losing your mom is so hard. Take the time you need & know we’re here loving you & your family. So thankful for those wonderful trips you shared. Blessings to you <3

  243. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you for creating this space. With the world as it is, I often come simply for the reminder that I actually care about total strangers. I will miss Bonnie and I had a little cry for both of you this morning. Sending much love to you and your family.

  244. I am so sorry for your loss. Remember to be kind to yourself as you grieve. I hope warm memories and loving family help ease your grief.

  245. I have been worried something happened, but I was picturing a computer crash of sorts. My deepest sympathies on the devastating loss of your Mom. No more words need be spoken until you are ready.

  246. Oh Stephanie, I am so, so sorry. Of all the people in your life whom you’ve so generously shared glimpses of via the Blog, your mum was one of my very favorites. I don’t pretend to have really known her, but what I knew of her was magnificent. In those glimpses, you have already honored a marvelous woman with your words.

    I know from my own experience how losing a parent, especially a great and good one, rips a hole in everything. The awareness of that loss never really goes away, but the sharpest pain does blur. Eventually, you darn up the hole with stories and memories and love, and in the process find that your family has knit itself into a new shape. The fabric is never the same, but the day comes that you’re able to feel that the new thing is also something great and good and, in its way, whole. But that’s all for later.

    For now, please take however much time you need, feel whatever you need to feel — whether you can ever find words for it or not. Along with so many others, I am holding you close in my heart.

  247. I am so sorry, Stephanie. You shared your Mum so beautifully here and knowing she is gone is terrible and devastating news. I wish you and your family peace.

  248. Dear Stephanie, my heart goes out to you and all your family. I have read your blog since the beginning and have admired your mother and the wonderful relationship you had with her. She was a true individual in the best sense of the word. So glad you had those trips with her in recent years. Love to all of you. Gail H.

  249. You darling girl – I add my condolences to all the rest who love you. We are grateful for Bonnie who raised a girl such as you. It mayn’t feel like it right now, but all shall be well.

  250. I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is always difficult, and becomes very reflective in the days & months of mourning. Good to know that you have such a loving family to help you through this difficult time and new journey you’ll be on.

  251. So very sorry about your loss of your sweet mom. Your world must feel like is falling apart and your heart must hurt so much. Take as long as you need to catch your breath and try to make sense of the way things now are.

  252. I too, have known this pain and there are no words that can really help right now. Just know that others care and that the love you and your Mother shared will always live in your heart. In time the happy memories you have of her will be what sustains you . Hugs to yo Stephanie and I am so very sorry.

  253. Adding my voice to the chorus of sympathy and condolences. May it surround you and support you as you face the difficult times ahead .

  254. I am so, so sorry. In your posts, your mom has always sounded like such a fun, wonderful person. I know you will always miss her, but the memory of her will live on in your heart. Again, I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  255. Steph, I am so sorry. I just read your post, and my heart aches for you. I’ve read your blog for years now, and you feel like a friend. Here’s a heartfelt, invisible hug from an invisible friend.

  256. I’m so, so very sorry. She seemed like an amazing person. (My dad passed away just a week ago, first parent I’ve lost, and it’s a hard place to find your way about.)

  257. I can’t tell you it will be all right. I can’t tell you that the raw wound will heal in time. I can tell you that you’ll think you’re okay, and then for no reason at all you’ll be sitting in a parking lot with tears running down your face because you miss her. I can tell you that this grief is your own, and nobody can, or should, tell you how to grieve, or for how long. In the meantime, I’ll light a candle for you, and for her. <3

  258. Stephanie, there are no words. The pain of losing a parent is so huge and deep, and we each need to find our way through this dark, hard valley on our own. Just know that I, and all of us, are holding you in a virtual hug until you find your feet again. And you will.

  259. We all know that you are completely shattered & exhausted & in need of no one or anything other than your family around you. We all hope that you can feel our love – all of these wonderful knitters from far & wide who feel like we know you, but many of whom you’ve never met. We all wish you the time to just do what you need to do – to be with those you love and we’ll be right here. We love all that you have given to us & now it’s our turn to relieve you of any pressure or obligation to entertain and enlighten us. Your grace will see you through this. Just breathe & “be” – – that’s is all you must do!

  260. I am profoundly sorry for your loss. The little glimpses we’ve seen of your Mum through the lens of the blog revealed what an amazing woman she was, how close you both were, and how blessed you were to have her in your life.

    Sending all my love and reiki healing as you work your way through this dark time.

    Namaste, Rainy

  261. Her love for you and all her family members was apparent each time you mentioned her in the blog. I love the posts about family traditions around the holidays. Keeping those going are a way to keep our lost ones alive in our memories. So glad you’ll have that sweet amongst the bitter. <3

  262. Stephanie, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It’s clear your mother was an amazing person. Sending so much love to you and your family as you move through this time. <3

  263. So sorry to hear about your mother. She sounded like a truly remarkable mother and woman from reading about her in the blog. My own mother died when my first daughter was just 9 months old. You and your daughters have been fortunate to have her around and she will be missed but she wil also be remembered.

  264. Oh, no! My heart is breaking for you. When we hadn’t heard from you in a while, I thought you were taking a mini vacay after the bike ride. I really thought you were off on a beach with your mom somewhere, and that we’d see pictures of you two smiling on the sand. 🙁 All the sadness. Prayers for you and your family.

  265. I am so sorry for your and your whole family’s loss. What I know of her, is what you shared of her on the blog, and that left me with the impression that she was an allround amazing person, strong and wonderful, who will be forever loved and missed.
    Love and strength to you all

  266. Condolences on the loss of your mum. Take all the time you need to begin repairing the hole in your heart. We’ll be here when you are ready to come back.

  267. This news knocked me down. On your blog your Mum always seemed a lady of matchless vigour. I am so deeply sorry she passed. I am certain she will be remembered and honoured by your family in meaningful and imaginative ways. Peace to you all.

  268. So sad. My condolences to you and the whole family. I’ve always loved reading about your mom on this blog and in your books. She seemed to me like a wonderful person. Remember when you knit a skirt and gave a shout-out to your mom that – yes – yes you were wearing a slip?! It’s those small mom moments that are precious. So sorry for your loss.

  269. My condolences to you and your family… take all the time you need to find peace and heal. May your fond memories of her and pictures like this one help you through the hard times…

  270. Dear Stephanie, When I looked at Instagram yesterday and saw the photo of your mom, I instantly recognized her. I thought “What a great photo”, but when I read the caption, it took my breath away. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing stories and photos of your mom with us (the blog) over the years. Know that we are thinking of you.

  271. Love and all the kind blessings of healing and remembrance to you and all your wonderful family. Thank you for sharing this hard news with us.

  272. I’ve loved all your stories about your mum, what a lovely person. Blessings on all the family. Here are words of wisdom from my great uncle as I visited him in hospital, “Just hand me that baby and I’ll feel better.”

  273. Oh Stephanie. I am so, so very sorry. Sending my very strongest condolences to you, your daughters, and the rest of your extended family.

  274. We love you. Take care of yourself in between taking care of everyone else. Don’t come back here until you’re very ready.

  275. Dear Steph, I grieve with you and for you. Take the time you need; we’ll surround you with our love, and we’ll be here when you come back.

  276. Feel like I knew her from your blog – what a wonderful lady she was – sending sympathy to all of you in the days ahead.

  277. Your Mum was awesome! I remember a post-you were somewhere warm for the winter, & you sent her a pix of you in your short sleeves. She replied, ” you need to come home you’re missing this deep canadian experience!” She was a riot, made me laugh. I thought she’d be great doing her own tv show. Yes, she was that funny.
    Sorry for loss, I’ll miss her too.

  278. Oh, Dear, Dear One. I am so very sorry. I send love to you and all the family. Take all the time.

    Caroline Gaudy aka FiberTribe

  279. Oh, Stephanie, I am so very sorry. I always liked your mum, as much as I knew her from the blog. I remember your amusing comments about her at your 2007 book launch at FIT in NYC. You’re going to miss her, but you’ll always have the memories. Take care of yourself.

  280. Peace and love and light to you and yours during your grief journey. Take your space, take your time, we will all still be here.

  281. Dear Stephanie,

    Like so many other people who have posted a note, I loved the blog posts (and stories in your books) about your Mom and the wonderful times you all had together.

    I lost my Mom 28 years ago and it still hurts and seems abstract, all at the same time. As much as I miss her, I rejoice in being her daughter and knowing that I will be her daughter for my entire life. And that is yet another gift she gave me and a gift that no one can take away.

    With heartfelt condolences, hugs, and love,
    Cynthia

  282. I am so sorry for your loss. All my love to you and your family. I have every confidence that your family has the strength to get through this.

  283. I’m so sorry. Please know that we are all thinking about you. And many of us have been there and can appreciate the pain. But you are not required to “talk” about it and sometimes that is not the answer or helpful. For me after months it was helpful but not at first. And only you will know. There is a fogginess or out of body feeling at first, at least for me.

  284. So sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. From what you shared with the blog, you have plenty of wonderful memories of your mother to treasure.

  285. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. We loved your mother. She was a gem of a woman. Peace be with you and your family during this tragic time.

  286. It sounds like your Mum lived life to its fullest. And raised some wonderful human beings! I hope her illness was brief. Peaceful thoughts to you and your family.

  287. my thoughts and prayers are with you during these dark days. may you find comfort in the many memories you have and the stories that friends and family will share.

  288. I am so very sorry for your loss. Do not worry about us. Take care of your self and family. Write down all the little tidbits you can. Share or not as you wish when the time comes. Do whatever it is you need to do for you.
    Much love.

  289. I’m so very sorry. I lost my mother in 2000 and I still miss her badly. Please hold tight to Joe, your girls and little Elliot and believe that one day you’ll think of her with a smile.

  290. So sorry you and your family are in thoughts and prayers. Losing a parent, is a long journey of grief, it hits you over and pver with such intensity reflective of the love you shared. Peace Carol Clay Mann

  291. Dear Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how raw you feel; I felt that way when my beloved mother died. I miss her still and it is almost 11 years since she died. Like your mom, she was my rock, my mentor, my friend. I wrap you in my arms as you grieve this enormous loss. From my own experience, the grief lessens in time, but the loss remains. Peggy

  292. My heart breaks for you. Having lost my mom over 5 years ago, I understand how broken you feel. Your mom was so alive and would try anything, much like mine. We’ll be here when you come back. Much love.

  293. I am so, so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts. I never had the privilege of meeting your mother, but from everything you wrote of her, she sounded like one hell of a woman.

  294. I looked at my Instagram the first thing this morning, saw that wonderful picture of your mom, and thought “I wonder what far-flung destination they have gone to now?”. As I scrolled down and read of the loss of your Mum, I felt a pang. Little is as primal as the loss of our mums. You met us at Sock Summit 2009, signing our books. During Sock Summit 2011, I was at her bedside, knitting while accompanying her on her final leg of her journey, giving thanks for her gift of learning to knit, one that she acquired from her mother, who acquired it from her mother. Our mothers are major links in the fabric of our lives, and you have woven your Mum into the lives of many through the blog. May you find great peace in that dense fabric of knitted love and kinship, knowing that we share your grief.

  295. Your mother leapt off the page whenever you wrote about her here or in your books. She seemed marvellous! I’m so sorry for what is a huge loss to you and yours. Love from Australia.

  296. Dearest Stephanie:
    I am so, so sorry for your loss. I feel like I knew your mother and enjoyed all the delightful stories of holidays and family. She has left all of you a wonderful legacy of love that will endure forever through her family.
    Take care, mourn and heal.
    Sue

  297. The first waves of grief are so big and wild. Just hang on, hang on, and we will be here when you can lessen your grip a bit. And in the meantime I will be sending lots of love and light to you.

  298. Holding you, and yours, in my heart.
    Since whatever words I can find will not be enough to tell you of my love and support, the joining of the heartbroken sisterhood, and the tsunamai of grief ahead,; know this:
    You are in my heart.
    Our Moms are there, too.
    And that gentle shoulder bump you feel? That is me, settling in next to you.
    Standing witness, and setting in to be silent company and comfort, always. xoxoxox – Joan

  299. Every sympathy in the world … your mum was awesome, thanks so much for sharing so much of her (and the rest of your family) over the years – she’ll have such a great memorial in the lives of all she touched in person and also here, virtually, in all of us.

  300. Oh Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. Take all the time you need, to process and heal. We will all be right here, when you return. <3 <3 <3

  301. I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts are with you and your family at this time. Take all of the time you need and know that we are all here when you’re ready to come back.

  302. Steph: so saddened to hear about your loss. In the coming days and weeks many long forgotten memories will suddenly appear and cause you and yours to shed buckets of tears-both of sorrow and happiness. Embrace them both, write them down if you have time so you can share them with the little ones who missed her appearance and for those not present when the memory happens. These are the stories that keep her in you hearts forever.

    Blog when you are able. We have been entertaining ourselves in your absence and can continue to do so. After all, we are the Blog, a community.

  303. Stephanie I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom in 2013 under what I believe are probably similar circumstances ( less than a mont between diagnosis and her passing) . Although your grief is raw right now I promise you the days do get better. The Blog will wait, tale all the time you need.

  304. I’m sorry – losing our mothers is one of the hardest thing that we do. Please take the time you need and know that you are loved.

  305. I am so sorry to hear this – my thoughts are with you. As time goes on I do have some good grief podcasts and books to recommend, but not now. Take good care and be gentle with yourself — it is a difficult time.

  306. Loss of a beloved parent is terrible. I’m glad you have a large and supportive family and many friends to help you through.

  307. You are an exceptional wordsmith, as we all know. There are, however, no words that can say all that YOU are feeling at such a time and all that WE are feeling for you…we will let silence say it all.

  308. Oh, Steph, I am so sorry you lost your mother. I could say it will get better, but it doesn’t. It never gets better when you lose the people you love. But you’ll always remember the happy days spent with her. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take your time. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

    Putting the Mary Tyler Moore theme song into your head.

    Who can turn the world on with their smile?
    Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile.
    Well, it’s you girl and you should know it.
    With each glance and every little moment you show it.
    Love is all around, no need to waste it.
    You could have the time, why don’t you take it?
    You’re gonna make it after all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjfSV73WMYU

  309. I am so sorry to hear this. You have already written and told us many wonderful things about your Mum. I sympathize with you and wish that you take the time to grieve and hug your family and remember her in the way only your family can. It is ok for all the things to leak out. May your heart eventually find peace again.

  310. Oh, my dear I’m sorry. I’ve been wondering what was happening in your life. Separation from a loved one is agony. She was huge in your life, Take all the time you need to fill that gaping wound with memory and love and the new life that comes and brings hope. Were I close enough I’d offer a hug. words are inadequate.
    I’ll ask for peace and comfort for you and yours

  311. No words can heal but I wanted to be another voice in this chorus saying that I’m so very, very sad for you and your loving circle of people.

  312. This loss runs deep and takes longer that I could have imagined. Time changes the raw pain but it never goes away. Take care of yourself.

  313. I am so sorry to hear your sad news. As I read of your mother’s death, I was knitting yarn that my mother left at her death. My project is a small cap for a new baby. It seems fitting that yarn in colors my mother loved will be worn by a new arrival in the world. May memories of your mother be some comfort at this dreadful time.

  314. As many have said in one way or another, the death of one’s mother is unique, unlike any other death of a loved one, no matter how well loved. I shall never forget that when my mother was dying (from Alzheimer’s) she only wanted one thing from me, a thing I could not give her, and that was that for me to take her to see her own mother, who by then was dead for some 30 years. And even though my mother’s death was a blessing–she never would have wanted to live like that– it has been defining for my years since then. What can I say, Stephanie, except that you have more good knitting people sending you love than anyone else who lost their mom, except perhaps for Meg Swanson.

  315. Thank you for sharing your life with your Mum while she was in this world. Her memory will live on in the family she raised, and in your writings. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
    Hugs, Leslie

  316. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your wonderful family – and thanking for you for inviting us into it through your blogs and books.

  317. Great big squishy cyber hugs. Please take all the time you need, and we’ll still be here when you’re ready to come back. Mums are special people.

  318. So very very sorry for your loss. Nothing ever prepares you for this! And from personal experience, losing a parent is so hard, so hard.
    Honor your needs. Take care of yourself.
    Sending love and hugs.

  319. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I’ve loved all that you’ve shared about her, and can only imagine how hard this must be. Much love to you and your family.

  320. I love how you mention her hands – a woman’s hands, a mother’s hands, they are everything, they tell all the stories, they give all the love. You are lucky and blessed to have a mother who loves you and whom you love back. My deepest consolences.

  321. So sorry for your loss. Sure that you and your family and friends will provide support for each other as you adapt to the new shape of your lives without your Mum’s physical presence.
    Words can be such clumsy tools at times like these.

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  323. There are few words to ease the cycle of grief. Sending you and your extended family peace and solace, tears and joy as you celebrate the being that was Bonnie. Your loss is profound, I am so sorry for you and all who loved her.

  324. I’m so sorry, Stephanie. It has always been clear from your posts how much you cherished and admired your mom. I know this is heartbreaking for you and your family. May her memory be a blessing.

  325. I will pray for you during this difficult time. My mother lost her mother and grandma in the same year in 2016. May peace and strength guide you.

  326. Your mum left an impression on all of us. What a force she was in the world and what an inspiration (and here I only knew her through you and the blog). This is such sad news to hear. Take your time. Be with your family. We will all be here when you are ready.

  327. I’m so sorry, Stephanie. Words fail at times like these, but know that you and your family are in my thoughts. May the many good memories you have of your mother and the closeness of family and dear friends comfort you.

  328. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to comfort, to console but they just feel inadequate. Take care of yourself and your family.

  329. Dear Stephanie, So sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to be with your family. We’ll be here for you when you’re ready to come back. You are much loved!

  330. So sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your familiy.
    Take your time to heal and to hold your loved ones close. “The blog” is not going away.

  331. Grief has no timetable and make no excuses for it. I have always said, losing a parent is a club we all have to join, but we want to be the last member. Sending lots of hugs,peace and condolences during this very difficult time to you and your family.

  332. I hope that you can feel the love from all of us. So very very sad to lose a Mum..so young, so vibrant, so beautiful.
    Hard to know what to say except that when you grieve we all feel sadness.

  333. I am so very sorry for your loss. The stories of your mum that you have shared have given little glimpses of her wonderful sense of humour and overall ‘great mumness’. Huge hugs to you and your family.

  334. So terribly sorry for your loss. Like so many others I felt I “knew” your mother through your pictures and stories. While no words can truly help you at this time, please know that many are thinking of you and your family.

  335. Oh, Steph, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Sending you every thought of warmth and strength possible, for you and for your whole family.

  336. I am so sorry. Our love for you cannot replace the love the two of you shared, but I hope it can be a comfort eventually. That numb feeling can’t be avoided; it will pass, but in its own time, not according to any human plan. Hugs and love, my dear knitting sister —

  337. I am so very, very sorry for you and your family, Stephanie. May you find peace and acceptance and know that she will always be with you in so many ways.

  338. So very, very sorry for you and your family. So difficult to comprehend when this happens,but that part of her inside you will never leave. Prayers.

  339. Sending loving thoughts to you and yours. May her memory be a blessing and may those of you who loved her find comfort in one another.

  340. Sending you hugs and love. I have walked the same path you now find yourself on. It does get easier eventually but it takes time. You will be able to think about your Mum without tears. Take all the time you need. xxx

  341. Very sorry to hear this sad news. Sincere condolences to you and your family. Your close-knit family will be even more important at this difficult time.
    I just made an early 2018 rally donation.

  342. So sorry – time and space heals slowly, but it does heal, and gradually the sad thoughts will be replaced by the wonderful memories. Just find quiet to let that happen.

  343. We were so worried for you – I hope you will continue to celebrate your mother’s life and let this pain wash over you until time brings your memories joy instead of the anguish of loss. Our prayers and sympathies are with you.

  344. So very sorry for the loss of your mother, Stephanie. You have a lot of us holding you and your family in our most tender thoughts.

  345. My heart hurts for you. You don’t owe us any explanation. Hold your family close, and don’t worry about whatever ‘spills out’. You’ll be able to put it back.

  346. Parting is truly sweet sorrow. Wishing you wonderful memories of your mum. May you and your family find some comfort together in this time of transition. My sincerest condolences.

  347. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Know that she lives forever in your heart and memories and watches over you from above. You are loved.

  348. Stephanie to you and your family I send my deepest sympathy on the loss of your amazing Mother. Through the blog she has become a friend to us all and we share your pain at her passing. You are in my thoughts during this sad time.

  349. It is devastating to lose one’s mother, no relationship is more profound, and yours seemed to be an especially bright light. My heart is with all of you.

  350. At a time like this, there are no words. Just hold onto each other tightly, and know that your Mum is holding you in her heart.

  351. So very sorry to read this horrendous news. My heart is heavy that you must walk the path of life without your mum beside you now. Mothers are irreplaceable. My profound sympathies to you and your entire family.

  352. My deepest sympathies – your mum seemed to be a spunky original…much like her daughter and granddaughters.

    I know it seems so unfair to lose your mum so soon after meeting your grandson, yet life hands us the bitter and the sweet together. Hug your loved ones, cry with them, and remember the best of that dear, wonderful lady.

    We’ll be here when you are ready.

  353. We’re ALL there for you, with you, Stephanie. Grieve how you need to grieve (don’t let anyone ever put a time limit on your grief), and only come back when you’re feeling ready…

  354. I’m so very very sorry for your loss Stephanie. My condolences to all the family. I hope it helps to know that your Mum will be at peace. xx

  355. To you and the family – I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing lovely photos and funny stories with us all. A beautiful lady.

  356. Losing your Mom is like a punch to the gut. Take time to catch your breath and reflect on the beauty of the wonderful woman who was the biggest part of your life.

  357. There are no words, but you and yours are held in my heart, with hopes for healing, appreciation, and great love among you. There are tears, there is laughter, there is Why, and How, and Why again. Things break apart, seemingly irreppairably, and without reason we survive, going on when we don’t know how, stumbling as we find the new pathways a loss forces on us. You are loved. Greatly.

  358. I am so very sorry for your loss. My mother died last December after a very brief illness, so I think I know what you’re feeling. Take all the time you need, feel All The Things, and we’ll be here when you get back. <3

  359. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences, and may you all find solace in her memory as you grieve. May her memory be eternal.

  360. I can’t imagine you reading through 942 (as I write this) comments, yet I like all the rest of your readers want to say how sorry I am for you and all your family. We knew her a little, from the blog, and she created an amazing family. What woman she must have been, and what a loss to the world but mostly to you. I am so sorry.

  361. These few words join the thousands of heartfelt embraces sent to you and your entire family. No words. Just pure peace and quiet and healing strength to bear this rending loss.
    Peace and quiet beween the storms,
    peace to each of you as you hold each other close.
    We will wait, we are here, and we send peace.

  362. It is one of life’s most profound experiences to lose one’s mother. She carried you next to her heart for all of her life and yours, and she helped shape you into the strong, amazing person that you are. You carry her within you. My deepest sympathy for you and your family.

  363. Oh no, such heartbreaking news. We are all gutted for you. I know the words won’t help, but I hope the warm thoughts and virtual hugs being you some small bit of comfort, even if only for a brief moment.

  364. I am so very sorry Stephanie. You and your family are in my heart. There is nothing anyone can say that will reduce your pain and grief but know that so many people are holding you up our hearts.

  365. This is profoundly sad and surprising news of your dear vibrant mum. Waves of love are cascading to you from the west coast. Snuggle Elliot.

  366. Dear Stephanie
    Thank you for sharing stories of your life with us. Thank you for sharing stories of your loved ones with us. Thank you for sharing your loss as well as your happiness. Your Mum made a big impression on “The Blog” and we will all miss her.
    Jkyy

  367. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m sure you and your family are reeling. Get plenty of grandson hugs to comfort you. I’ll be thinking of you all, and I’m sure that we the blog will be here with bells on to celebrate the life that your mum lived, once (if) you wish to do that. From what i’ve seen on the blog, your mum was a strong, resilient and brilliant woman and she will be missed.

    Much love,
    JennyR

  368. It doesn’t matter how old someone is when their beloved mother dies, it feels as though the rock on which they have always stood has vanished. It is such a complicated time, physically, mentally, and emotionally–take all the time you need for your family and yourself, dear one. We’ll be here.

  369. There are no words that could be any help… especially not, what my own ecperience was, that we think, with time it is going to hurt less… No. It is going to hurt more. For a long while with each day it is going to hurt more. Brace yourself, and dive into your memories, the fact that she got to know your first grandlchildren, and cry, cry a lot, and knit, knit a lot, and after a long time, you will learn to live with the pain. Take the time you need, even though we are going to miss you, we will be be waiting for you here.

  370. I am so sorry. The death of my mother changed me in ways I did not expect. It is good that you are surrounded by love and support. Even though we do not know each other in person you have my love too.

  371. My sincere condolences.
    I am glad you have a tight-knit and loving circle of family and friends – you will all go through this together, which makes the burden not lighter but better to bear.

  372. Standing with you in your loss and breathing deeply just in case you are finding that hard right now. I have always admired your mother from a distance. She always seemed fierce and wonderful.

  373. My deepest condolences. May her memory be for a blessing.

    We will be here when and if you want to share, and we will be here if this is something that you want to share only with your personal intimates.

  374. Dear Stephanie and family, so sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that memories of happy times together bring you comfort. Sending peaceful thoughts. May her memory be a blessing.

  375. I don’t have sufficient words to express my sympathy. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. From those times you’ve written about her here, I’ve developed a tiny sense of what an amazing woman she must have been. I can only imagine your pain, and I’m just so sorry.

  376. So very sorry for your loss. My mother passed suddenly at the age of 50 which was 40 years ago, and I miss her every day of my life. Cling to your memories.

  377. I am so sorry, Steph. I remember reading your posts about her and the vacations you shared with her in the past few years. She sounds like the kind of mum I would love to have had. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  378. I am so very sorry. No matter how old we are, we are never ready to lose our Mum. Sending love your way.

    You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  379. And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly.
    Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same…
    whisper to us.
    They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be
    better.
    For they existed. …. Maya Angelou

    Peace and comfort to you Stephanie…

    Linda in VA

  380. I hold you deep in my heart of prayer. May you have the strength and courage that you need during these first few days, and into the future years, and may you have places where you can let go of that and be vulnerable and held.

  381. Sending hugs and love and the knowledge (from my own experience of my mom’s passing) that she will always be with you – sometimes in surprising ways! So glad you are being gentle with yourself. We will be here when you are ready to reach our direction again. Love never dies…..

  382. I’m so so sorry. The death of a parent is so hard. I’ll be thinking about you and your family as you spend time together remembering your mom and what she was for you and your family. Much love from me during this difficult time. I would give you a hug, many, many hugs if I were nearer.

  383. My most heartfelt sympathy and condolences to you and your whole family in this wrenching time of loss. Your mother was amazing and irreplaceable.

  384. I thought there must be something ‘big’ happening. I’m so sorry that now is the time you must face this. Many of us — your readers — do understand about losing “mama.” It’s the pits. I will tell you this: my own mother has been gone for about 20 years and I speak with her daily. She is with me when I need her; I say this sadly as she rarely was on my side when she was alive. But now I know she is right here.

  385. Take all the time you need we the Blog understand. Such loss rips deep into the heart of family. To lose one whom is so loved is intolerably difficult, beyond words.

  386. Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy…

    PS – I had to click on balloon, which float up into the sky as well…

  387. I lost my mother last June. There are no words. Just a hug from me. She will always be yours to remember and treasure.

  388. Oh Stephanie, I am so so sorry. You and all the family are in my heart and prayers. The loss of a mother is such a hard thing, it rips out part of your life. Sending you much love.

  389. My deepest and most heartfelt condolences go to you and your family. I am so terribly sorry to hear about your Mum, from what you’ve written of her she was a lovely lady who made every persons life she touched brighter and more joyous. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time

  390. My deepest condolences to you and your family for the lost of your mum. Take your time coming back; as said before, we will be here.

  391. I am so sorry to hear of your mum’s passing. You had a wonderful relationship with her, may that lift you up in the coming weeks.

  392. Sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you can find comfort within your family there and also your family here in the knitting world.

  393. So sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you as I wing my way eastward to visit my own mom, and feeling profoundly lucky. Take care, heal as you will, know that we will be here waiting for you when you’re ready.

  394. So so sorry to hear this sad news…I know how wholly you loved your mum and she you. I remember meeting her in Baadeck so many years ago and asking her if you were really that funny in ordinary life, and she smiled and said indeed you were. I can only imagine how profoundly you are grieving and being awash in love…all blessings, my friend.

  395. I’m so sorry. You’ve shared so many warm memories of her here that I doubt I’m alone in the readers in mourning our loss along with you. Take care of yourself and yours.

  396. I am so very sorry for you and your entire family. You have invited all of us, the blogosphere, into your life, and it’s clear from all the comments that we are sending love, prayers, healing thoughts. May her memory be eternal.

  397. oh stephanie, i am SO, so sorry; please accept my deepest condolences. i often think of the words you wrote me when my brother died and if you remember that passage, i hope it will bring you hope and comfort now.

  398. I am very sorry for your loss. You shared your special Mum with us and so we share tears with you. Seems that the depth of grief equals the depth of love, but the grief fades while love endures eternally. Take comfort in knowing that your Mum’s love will be with you forever. My heart goes out to you at this very painful time. Take baby steps, cry in the tub as often and as hard as you need to, and draw strength from your loved ones. We will be here when you feel stronger.

  399. I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss. As you’ve written about her, your mother has sounded like a strong woman full of life and adventure, and you all will surely miss her terribly. Will be praying for your comfort and eventual healing. Thank you for sharing.

  400. My very deepest condolences to you and your family. May you be surrounded by love, peace, and eventually, joy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  401. This is such sad news. Through your wonderful writing you have shared your mom with all of us so well that it feels like she is a part of us too and we grieve with you. I know you will continue to see her in the faces and lives of your three wonderful girls and in your grandchildren.

  402. Stephanie, so very sorry. Like the rest of the Blog, I wish I could spare you the hard and painful miles you must now walk, but there is no help for it. Walk them you must and will, at least you need not walk alone. We will all be here when you are ready to return.

    Sending love and good thoughts, see you on the other side.

  403. It will be 5 years on Thursday the 7th, that I lost my own mother. I know how much your heart is aching right now. I think I’ll go and have a little cry for both of us. God bless, Steph.

  404. Thank you for all the stories you have shared about your mother over the years, and I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time

  405. It is a wide-open wound, indeed. I’m so sorry for your loss. The grief will wash over you at unpredictable times. Let it. Then let the many wonderful memories you have of your mum bring you solace that you were blessed with one another. Sending you comfort and peace…

  406. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have absolutely loved seeing your adventures with her in all kinds of crazy, wild, and wonderful places over the years. The love between the two of you is beautiful.

  407. Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. My sincere sympathies to you and your entire family. Thanks for sharing your beautiful mother with us through your blog.
    Nancy

  408. May you take comfort in the many lovely memories you have with your mother. You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.

  409. Sincerest sympathy to you, Stephanie.
    Thank you for sharing all the wonderful pix and little stories about your mum over the years, especially the ones from the beach vacation. She rocked a beach!
    A mother can never be replaced, but a mother lives forever in your heart.
    And grief is not a race.
    May peace find its way to you and your family.

  410. Oh, Stephanie. The amount of time it took me to scroll down to the comment box is a good indication of how many people love you and your family, even if we have never met any of you IRL My condolences to all of you. We will all be here for you, whenever and whatever you choose to write.

  411. <3 I'm so sorry for your loss!
    I know it's a hard time, but I know you can look back on your time together fondly, especially your beach trips (that you kindly told us about so we could pretend to also be at the beach).
    Much love,
    Anna

  412. No words for such a huge loss. You’ve shared enough over the years to make us all feel we’ve lost part of our family as well. I’m sure many have wept as I have on your behalf. Love and peace to you and your entire family.

  413. Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Whenever I saw pictures of her, I could see the mischief in her eyes which, in a virtual sort of way, gave me a sense of you. You may not feel like reading right now but when my mother died, I found the book “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion touched me in a way that nothing else did. Anyway, no need to rush back here – we understand the need to take care of yourself. Sincerely, Louise

  414. I am so so sorry…the blog is in mourning for you and your family. Take good care of yourself. Sending prayers of love and peace your way.

  415. Stephanie – I am so very sorry to hear about your dear mum! My own mother passed about 4 years ago. I miss her so very much. Please give yourself enough space and time to grieve for her and find ways to honor her memory!

    Many, many prayers for peace and comfort during this difficult time!

  416. Stephanie – I am so very sorry for your loss. You have shared your mother’s wisdom and kindness so often here on the blog that I (and I’m sure many others) have come to know bits of her and love her for just those few glimpses into the person who raised you. You knew and loved her whole person. I lost my strong-willed, opinionated, beautiful mother 20 years ago – I still feel those first days in my bones – of being without my rudder at sea in a storm. I hope you find your way through with your wonderful family at your side.

  417. I am so sorry that I have no words that will make everything better again. It is a nightmare that you cannot wake from, the world turned upside down. You will survive it a day at a time, if that’s too much to bear then an hour at a time or maybe just work on the next five minutes.

  418. I remember on one of your winter vacations you got your Mom to zip line. I thought she was so brave and realized it was something I would love to try. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. When your mother dies, you never stop missing that she’s gone. The raw pain does go away in time; it becomes a dull ache.

  419. I didn’t know her, but I admired her spirit. From what you’ve written, she was as Canadian as they come. Please accept my deepest sympathy.

  420. Dear Stephanie, thank you for sharing your life and your precious mother.

    For every person who posted here, there are many more silently echoing the prayers and love and thoughts for you and your family.

    My husband’s parents died suddenly last year, and the grief of their passing knocked us flat, and was almost unbearable at times. Faith, love and support, and time helped us make it through that season. Just yesterday my husband found a cancelled check of his dad’s in an old sewing machine, and we knew his dad had saved it because he was proud of his wheeler dealer skills. It brought tears to our eyes but there was laughter as well.

    The blog is with you. Take your time.

  421. I am so sorry – hugs from ‘over the water’. It’s taken me nearly ten years to get over the loss of my parents. The Blog is with you.

  422. I am so sorry for the loss of you Mom. When you can think about it, remember no matter what happens in this world, she is always a part of you. As you are a part of your daughters. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  423. I am so sorry.

    I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I lost the most important women in my life (my grandma and my mom) to Alzheimer’s disease. Mom is still here but she’s been gone for years. They slipped away little by little until there was nothing left.

    I can’t imagine what it is like to have someone ripped whole from you. The pain must be excruciating. Please do whatever you need to do, to take care of yourself.

    We are lucky we got to know your mom a little bit through you. We mourn with you.

  424. Oh, Stephanie, what a hard time for you and your family. I lost my dad last November and some mornings, like this morning, it feels as if it’s just happened. I hope you can take some comfort from the enormous outpouring of support the Harlotry has sent your way. We care, and it’s the least we can do after all you’ve given us.

  425. Stephanie – there are no words. Sending prayers to you and yours.

    May her memories, and her legacy, live on in her amazing daughters; may you find that time, and family, and love, may someday make the pain a bit easier to bear; and may she find peace and comfort until, one day, you shall meet again.

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Bonnie (aka Knitsiam)

  426. My deepest condolences. She sounded like a wonderful person who had a great influence on all who knew her. Be as well as you can be. My best wishes for you and your family.

  427. Oh Stephanie, I was so worried that something was amiss with the radio silence. I am so troubled by your loss. Rest well, Bonnie. Making a donation to MSF in her memory.

  428. I am so very sorry. What terrible and unexpected news. Thank you for sharing her with the blog. The posts in which she featured are memorable.

  429. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing about your Mum and sharing your travel adventures over the years. Sending caring thoughts to you and your family.

  430. My thoughts are reaching out to you in comfort today. losing a mother is so terribly difficult. Peace and many blessings to you and to your family.

  431. I am so very sorry for your loss. You’ve made clear through your blog posts the strength of your relationship with your mom and the supreme importance of family in your life. I wish for you the peace and comfort of friends and family at this difficult time. Wooly hugs.

  432. I, too, am sorry you are feeling so much pain. But I will share this thought: you are a fortunate woman to have had a mother who loved you and you loved in return. Many don’t even know what that is.

  433. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and died 15 days later. It was the most beautiful – and terrible – 15 days of my life. She died 15 years ago on August 26, and I miss her still. I’m sending blessings and good thoughts to you at this time… and for 15 years (and more) into the future. Take care.

  434. I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. It is never a good time to lose a parent.They are the bedrock of who we are. Sending condolences to you and your family.

  435. I’m so sorry, Stephanie. Such terrible news. I can only imagine your heartbreak, and know you’ll miss her. My heartfelt sympathies for you and your family.

  436. I am so sorry for you family’s loss. I have enjoyed reading about you mother from time to time. I don’t comment often because others usually say what I would say better than I can. It has occurred to me that there are many lurkers out there who are sending thoughts and prayers your way as they pick up their needles.

  437. Circle the family wagons, for as long as you need to. Share you light and love with each other, and know we are all sending healing, consoling vibes your way.
    Losing your parent is hard, no matter what your age. Means you are now the grownup.
    love to you and yours, Patti

  438. I am so sorry for your loss. She will be with you always in your heart and mind, your voice, your choice of words, even the way you do certain physical things. She will be present in your daughters and your grandson. It is a gift that those we love leave to us

  439. Oh, no, what sad news! I am so sorry for your loss; I lost my dear mother two years ago. You Mum sounded amazing, you were lucky to have her. May you never know of any more sorrow.

  440. Oh, Stephanie! How I wish I could filter emotions and let you feel the love and the laughter without the raw pain. It doesn’t work that way, though, does it? I’ve loved reading about your mum over the years. Her scuba diving in Mexico not too long back just wowed me! It gives a glimpse into her personality, I think. Thank you for sharing her with The Blog. You and your family are very much in my thoughts at this sad time.

  441. I am so sorry for your loss. Her loss will reverberate through so many who never even knew her outside of your blog. Your love and respect for her has been palpable.

  442. HUGS! Grieving with you – I lost my mum suddenly not too long ago; she was only 64. Be kind to yourself. Take all the time you need. We will be here when you are ready.

  443. sending you love and strength. i know how it feels to lose a beloved parent but my pain can never help ease yours. may you find happiness in her memories.

  444. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I always loved your stories about her. I lost my mother 22 years ago–she was only 62!–but I still miss her every day.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  445. I’m so sorry to learn of this – you are in my thoughts. When I read your post I immediately thought of the post you wrote about your and your mother’s trip to Cuba – it just seemed like such a wonderful time and such a special trip to have with your mom. I’m glad you’ll have those (and many other) memories. Sending you strength through the wooly blogosphere.

  446. So very sorry Stephanie. In Greek we say ” May her memory be eternal.” I hope your memories and the love of family and friends carry you through this time of tremendous grief.

  447. A most painful rite of passage… I am so sorry for your loss. While the hole in your heart may never close, time will make it less painful. Peace and love to you, Stephanie.

  448. Dear Stephanie,

    I join all my fellow blog-followers in expressing my heartfelt sorrow and condolence on the passing of your beloved mother. It was so clear to me, from the very first moment I laid eyes on your blog, that you and your mother – indeed, your whole family, biological and extended – had something mightily special and powerful and loving. And your mother was clearly a giant part of that.

    I was, and have been ever since that moment, wildly, fantastically, overwhelmingly jealous of you and your whole clan.

    I’m fluent in many languages, but there aren’t enough in all of them put together to express my sorrow at your loss, and I hope and wish for peace and comfort for you and your whole family.

    Later – when you can – when the loss and the grief are not so overwhelming and fresh and hard and ever-present, please take a couple of minutes to realize how LUCKY YOU ARE. You got a GREAT mom. And because you got a GREAT MOM, you get to feel that pain and sorrow and loss. I encourage you to really look at that because not all of us are so lucky. I did NOT get a great Mom. I have read and wept my way through every single reply to this blog-post and read all of the ones from folks who like you, continue to feel the pain of the loss of their parent, years later. I get to weep instead for the mothering I never got, the loss and pain and grief of instead having had a mother who literally hates my living, breathing guts. So even though it feels right now like the pain is overwhelming and you are drowning and can’t breathe and the pain will never go away and you cannot stand it for one more instant … another view is that you are overwhelmingly fortunate to be able to feel the enormity of this loss because you got to have a marvelous mother for all these years. You are lucky. Lucky to have had her for a mother, lucky for all the terrific memories that nothing can take from you. I am so very sorry for your loss … and I am so very very jealous that you got to have a lovely Mum. We all hold you – and your whole family – in the tenderness of our loving knitters embrace. We love you. Take time to heal – we’re here when you’re ready.

    • Yes, there is a difference between grieving the loss of something you had and grieving the absence of something you never had but greatly needed and deserved. I’m so sorry that you haven’t experienced your mother’s love. That you’ve grown to be such a compassionate person, despite such a gaping hole in your life, shows your goodness and love. May you receive love, comfort and encouragement from others in your life.

      “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”

  449. Your family’s deep connection has always come through in your writing. Prayers for you and your family as you mourn and celebrate the life of an incredible woman.

  450. Condolences for you loss. She raised an incredible woman who has brought light and joy to so many. I can only imagine how wonderful your Mum was. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  451. I am so sorry for your loss. We’ll be here when you are ready. If you need to talk to a stranger, I am here, as are many others, I’m positive.
    Loves.

  452. Oh Steph, just take time to love, breathe and knit. Sometimes that is all too much. So if the breathing is hard, then love and knit, if the loving is hard, then knit and breathe, and if the knitting is hard – then please just love and breathe. Your people are here with you; breathing, loving and knitting.

  453. You are in my prayers. I always enjoyed your blog posts where you shared vacations with your mom. It makes me more focused on spending more time with my own mother . . . because you never know what the future will bring. God bless you.

  454. Please except my deepest sympathies, This is a club you don’t want to join. I lost my mom at the end of May. I know what you are going through. You do feel ripped. And there are no words.

  455. Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m holding you in my thoughts. I remember reading that when a parent dies, it’s like having the roof blow off your house. I felt that way too–and it doesn’t exactly pass, it just becomes part of you. Just be in your grief for now and mark the days. We’ll be there whenever you want to write about her!

  456. My very deepest sympathies. Having experienced the loss of my beloved Mom, I know what you are going through and I am filled with sorrow for you and your family. You are all continually in my thoughts

  457. Checking your blog today (the 6th), I learned your sad news. I am so, so sorry.

    Losing a parent (especially the first one) feels like waking up to a completely wrong universe. You just never imagined the possibility of a world that didn’t have her or him in it. (Intellectually, perhaps, but not REALLY)

    That feeling of wrongness does fade with time. The grief–well, not as much. I will still read something and think, “Oh, Mom would get a kick out of that,” or, “Dad would certainly have something to say about THAT!” and it has been, respectively, 4 and 12 years since their deaths. But it’s a more bittersweet than sharply painful experience now.

    Hang in there.

  458. Oh Stephanie, I’m really so sorry to hear this. We’ve never met but I think of you a lot, and what a beacon you are for those of us who want to live gently. xx

  459. I am just so sorry for your loss. I have found that grief is proportionate to the love you felt for someone, so take your time. We will all be here for you when you are able to come back, and because we feel we know your family, we grieve with heartfelt sympathy for you.

  460. I am so, so sorry, Stephanie. Keeping you and your family in my heart and thoughts during this difficult time. Big hugs to you all. xxxx

  461. So sorry to hear. She sounds like she was an amazing woman. Take the time and space you need to heal, and reminisce about the joyful and meaningful times with her.

    Sending lots of love and healing vibes your way.

    <3

  462. I’m so sorry to hear this. From all that you have shared, you are a close and loving family. This loss is to be sure to be devastating. I am thinking and praying for peace and strength for your family during this difficult time.

  463. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need. Cry the tears, hug your family. The blog will be here when you are ready.
    Big hugs from another who lost her mom too soon

  464. I am so very sorry. I know she was an amazing woman from what you shared with us. Please take all the time you need, we will be here when you are ready.

  465. #1211… It’s as if the whole blog is becoming visible, like the stars coming out on a dark night — and the shape of this constellation is revealed to be a heart enfolding you and yours, soft as angora, strong as your homespun. very deepest condolences.

  466. May her memory be a comfort and a blessing for you and your family. I am very sorry for your loss. You wrote often and with great love about your mother in your blog. You are blessed to be her daughter, and she was blessed to be your mother.

  467. So sorry for your loss. You shared some wonderful times spent with your Mum on this blog. I hope you can hold all that close. We will be here when you are ready to come back.

  468. I look at her family, you, your sisters, the grandchildren and great grandchildren, and I don’t need you to tell me how amazing she must have been… for I see it in all of you. You all are her legacy, the proof of her, and she left the world with a damn fine one.
    Take all the time you need. And then take a little more. The rest of the world can wait quite well enough.

  469. There are no words that help ease the overwhelming flow of emotions. Losing a parent is one of the toughest things I have gone through; may you and your family find peace and solace in each other.

  470. I never met her yet I know she was a wonder ~ you are her daughter and your daughters are her grandchildren, wonders all. I am sorry for your loss and can’t imagine the grief. I and many others send you light~

  471. I’m so sorry. The way you wrote about your mother made it clear that she was a bright spot in your life, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m sending what comfort and sympathy I can from afar, and applauding your decision to give yourself time to process.

  472. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that the 1,227+ comments here sending love and warm thoughts provide a little comfort through your grief. The knitters are thinking of you.

  473. You do not feel like it now–the pain of the loss is too sharp–but, your mother will always be with you–in your heart and in your wonderful memories. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  474. You do not feel like it now–the pain of the loss is too sharp–but, your mother will always be with you–in your heart and in your wonderful memories. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  475. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sure my Brother in Law (who was not a knitter, but still enjoyed your blog!) met her at the gate and proceeded to help her start her next adventure in a suitable fashion.

  476. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending big hugs to you and your family. She will always be with you.

    My own mom passed away 30 years ago, when I was a young adult. I still miss her to this very day. Now I see glimpses of her in my own daughter.

    Wishing you peace. Be good to yourself.

  477. Someone in another online community described it as “walking on” – I thought that was a lovely way of holding a hard and jagged-edged thing. Take all the time you need, feel all the things you need, say and do all the things you need. There is no right or wrong way to grieve – only the constancy of loss. Eventually, when it doesn’t hurt so much to breathe, isn’t such an agony to exist, the world will be there waiting for you.

  478. Oh my Stephanie… I am just getting back from a vacation and reading this. I am so very sorry for your loss and I am sure nothing I can write in words can ease your pain. Hugs to you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. All my love…

  479. OH, Steph, I am so so sorry for your loss. The journey of grief for a loved one is such a painful and tender ride. Know that I hold you in my heart, sending you strength and peace. Much Love, Jennie

  480. Oh Steph. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. My thoughts are with you and your family during this tender time. Sending lots of love your way.

  481. Wishing you the deepest sympathy in this tragic time. I know that your mum was an amazing mum as they all are and her absence will be deeply felt.
    My mum was diagnosed with cancer in June and we’ve been told it will be any time now. It seems so unfair that our mum’s should be taken after such as short time.
    Love & prayers to your family.

  482. I’m so sorry for you and your siblings and all the family, chosen and blood, that have this missing piece now. Words are never enough, but they’re what we have.

    much love,

    Rebecca

  483. I have been reading your blog since I was 16. I am now 27. Your blog is a little corner of my life where I go to share your experiences, laugh, cry and have fun.
    Yourself and your family are people I imagine that if I saw them on the street I would say “where do I know you from?” Their faces would be familiar to me because of the lovely history you have shared here over the years.
    I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. I cannot imagine the pain. But I could see a tiny snippet of her through what you show us on the blog and she sounds pretty amazing.
    I think what I want to say is, you have given so much in writing this blog, that I feel that I have a small part of my life over here. And I’m sure many many others do to. Whether you knew you would or not, you have built yourself an internet family all over the world Steph. And we stand with you now. Sending love at this sad sad time xxx

  484. Feel the love she gave you in these hard times. She is still there, you just can’t see her. Take a breath and remember the times together.

  485. I am so, so sorry. There are no words to mend your broken heart right now. Wish we could take some of your pain, praying for you and your family to have some peace.

  486. I am so sorry. You’ve shared so much, so many details over the years; we all feel this loss with you. Prayers and love to you and your family at this time.

  487. My deepest sympathies to you and your family Stephanie. So very sad to hear of your loss. Please take good care of yourself and one another.

  488. I’m so so sorry. All the comfort at this time to you and your family. Take your time, we will be here ready to comfort you when you can come back.

  489. Unable are the loved to die. For love is immorality. -Emily Dickerson

    Oh, Steph. I’m so very sorry. May her memory be a blessing.

  490. Words cannot express my heartfelt sorrow for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us over the years. She is knit into the fabric of you and your girls. Her love and strength and every other beautiful aspect will be with you always and passed on to generations to come.

  491. I have lots of tender thoughts and much sympathy for your loss. Our family lost a member too, it is so hard for everyone as the heart is ripped open and that love you have for them no longer has that recipient.

    Grieving is the hardest form of healing.

  492. Losing our mothers gives us a sense of being orphaned. It is hard to see it now due to the sharp pain of loss but, your mother will be with you throughout your life–in your heart and through your wonderful memories. I am so sorry for your loss and am holding you and your family in my heart and prayers.

  493. Oh. Just reading this news. If we are fortunate, there is no other love like our mother’s. May that hold you through these saddest of days.

    peace

  494. So sorry to read your news, but the photo you used was so very apt. Her joy in life always shone from your Mexican trip pictures and I know that you will always miss her.

  495. Just saw something on the internet “I only miss you when I’m breathing” and tears immediately came to my eyes because that’s how I feel about missing my mother. My next thought was of you. I’m so very sorry, Stephanie.

  496. Keeping you and your family close in thoughts and prayers…. I am so sorry. Take time with your family and heal. Know that we are out here keeping you all in our hearts.

  497. Sincere condolences on your Mum’s death. I understand that no words can fill that immediate void, but I hope you can realize how many of us are here, with pockets full of wooly love and all the tears and hopes for you and your family. Take all the time you need– we’ll be here, knitting away at our projects, saying a tiny prayer for each of the thousands of stitches we’ve been making and thinking of you all. May all your wonderful memories rise up to comfort you and yours at this most difficult of times.

  498. I remember the zipline story too! – your mother must have been a lot of fun.
    It’s a Global Loss, the death of one’s mother, and the confronting thing about it is that you have to accept the realisation that you are now at the top of the heap, with no buffer.
    You said that your mother’s illness was brief though, and that is a mercy. And she also lived to see her great-grandchild, so all is well in the end.

  499. So sorry to hear about your Mum. I’m sending loving healing thoughts. I know what you mean about her hands. I see my mothers hands on the ends of my arms when I peel potatoes or whisk a bowl of something.
    Julie in San Diego

  500. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I’ve never written before, but after years of reading your blog and books, I feel I know you and your beautiful family. I hope you find some peace and comfort in this difficult time.

  501. My deepest condolences. Your Mom sounded like an awesome woman from the posts you shared. The mother-daughter bond is special and cannot be broken by death. All love and healing to you and your family.

  502. You HAVE been ripped open – there’s a hole in your heart now that wasn’t there before. It will never completely heal, but the wound will be less raw as time goes on.

    I hope that memories of the happy times you spent with your mother – all the times she made you laugh, and us, too – will help you heal. Your mother lives on through your memories and in Elliot, so hold him a lot and tell him how wonderful she was.

  503. I am profoundly sad that your mother passed on my birthday. Condolences to you and your entire family. Take all the time you need, the 1000+ comments say to me that we’re all here when you need us, and are mourning with you. I’m going to donate some of my birthday money in honor of your mother.

  504. Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum, my thoughts and prayers are with you at such a sad time. All I can say is remember all the good times that you shared, my mum passed away when I was six years old and there I has never been day that I haven’t missed her, but even having lost her at such a young age I have so many memories of her. Apparently I am so like here in so many ways, so be comforted that she is living on in you, your daughters and your now your grandson.
    With love xxx

  505. I am so sorry, Stephanie. I know that feeling well. Lost my mom, too. For years after, I felt like my safety net was gone. Took me a while to find my new normal. I hope the next few months speed by, because that’s the only thing that will lessen your pain – the passage of time. Eventually the pain does fade, but the memories,especially the happy ones, will still be there.

  506. I have no words to make anything better. Though we have never met, your loss touches my heart. Please know you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Do what you need to do and come back when you are ready. We will all be here waiting. ❤️

  507. I am so very sorry for your loss. Do what you have to do to care for you and yours. Wishing you all love and peace. ((Hugs))

    Lisa C.

  508. So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 5 years ago so I understand that numb feeling. Your Mom will always be in your heart. Some people may callously tell you to get over it, but you don’t. You learn to live without their presence but as I said, she’ll always be in your heart.

  509. Dear Stephanie, words can’t convey the deep sadness and shock I feel at your great loss of your dear Mum. Over the years of reading your blog I have enjoyed her popping in now and then, Winter vacations together to warmer climes, her zip lining one time, and mostly the wonderful love and mutual acceptance you enjoyed. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  510. I am so sorry. I lost my mom nine years ago, and there still isn’t a day that I don’t think of her and miss her. I just count my blessings that I had her as long as I did. Personally, the grieving process went in fits and starts- I had days I could let go and be happy, then days of deep sadness. Over time the happy days were more frequent. I took deep solace in family. Sharing the loss together made everything easier. My best to you and your family.

  511. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom nine years ago, and there will never be enough words to fill the void. Much love to you and your family.

  512. Stephanie,
    I know I’m not a friend or acquaintance even, but your blog has made you seem like someone I know. I am so very sorry for your loss and would like to offer heartfelt sympathy and prayers for you and your family.

  513. When the first shock and deepest hurt is starting to mellow a bit, I wish you and yours the ability to make yourselves an afghan of memories.
    Take her laughter, her brightness and homour – shiny like the finest silk.
    Take her love, her caring and tenderness – cozy and reliable like pure merino.
    Take also her rougher edges, the habits that made her not a bit less lovable but all the more human – a bit scratchy and tenacious like hemp.
    And knit together all those patches with the strong memories – strong and durable like pure cotton – of time spent together, thoughts and wishes shared and life lived together.
    An afghan like this will offer warmth and comfort and also willingly absorb and dry some tears.

    PS: I took the liberty to donate a little bit to KWB (i.e. Ärzte ohne Grenzen as the German branch is called)

  514. I really want to say that it hurts a lot, that you have to learn to be kind to yourself and that you will very slowly reach a more peaceful place. I wish you well on this complicated, up and down journey. Your natural grace will see you through it. Very best wishes for you and for your family.

  515. Stephanie, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds like an incredibly amazing woman. Perhaps in the future you could write (and share with us) through your grief and pay homage to her; her antidotes, thoughts on certain subjects, recipes, if she crafted include her favorite patterns; maybe your memories of growing up and some funny moments you two had together?

  516. The fact that it is inevitable does not soften the loss. You will carry her with you always hereafter (as you did before). She will be the sweet, secret voice in your head and gentle memory when you need one.

  517. Oh no! I am so sorry. I can’t even (don’t want to) imagine. You take as much time and space as you and the family need. Sending you virtual hugs, along with the rest of the Blog.

  518. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I know this won’t help in the least — grief does its own thing every time — but I am certain you are being held in the hearts of knitters all over the world, because, well, my heart is holding you right now. I wish you what comfort memories bring, and the support of your wonderful family.

  519. I am so sorry for your loss. May your every memory of your mother stay bright and clear and present as the grief slowly diminishes.

  520. Stephanie,
    My heart breaks for you! I hadn’t checked the blog in a while so I just saw your heart-breaking news. Please know my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time. I hope your mum got to get lots of baby snuggles in with your new grand-baby before she passed.
    All my love!
    Amanda A.

  521. Nothing ever prepares us for the loss of a parent. I have parents-in-law – the best in the world – a mother-in-law who has shown me over the past almost 18 years I’ve been with her son what it’s like to have a mother and yesterday, she celebrated her 85th birthday. Everyday she calls is a blessing. Everyday she asks how I am is a gift. Your mother loved her family immensely and shared every gift she had ever been given with you all. From her root stemmed a family tree that has welcomed it’s newest branches one by one – little twigs now, but because of the strength of its trunk will one day be strong enough and big enough to hold tiny branches of their own. It all started with your Mum. Without her, there’d be no you, no three beautiful daughters, no wonderful nephews, beautiful sister and now handsome little Elliot. Your Mum’s spirit is in the smiles that will light up your room on Christmas Eve as the stars in your family’s eyes twinkle with the living reminders of her presence in this world. My condolences.

  522. Oh Steph. I’m on here for the first time since your bike rally posts and I am just heartbroken to read this. I wish you peace and lots of memories and loved one to share them with. Take care of yourself and let others take care of you when you need it.

  523. I wish there were words to take away your sadness but I know there is not. She is the first person that loved you and you knew you could count on that always. I lost my Mom Marie July 2015 and some days are better than others. I still have those random thoughts of going to see her and realize she is not there or I will be in a store and see something she would like and have to put it down because she is gone. Lots of times I cry. I crochet and knit. I made a crocheted afghan with pink, green, and purple that first fall and it helped. Purple was Mom’s favorite color. My heart goes out to you. Take your time and grieve your way. There is no time schedule. My Daddy has been gone 40 years and I still miss him. My friend Mellissa says we develop a new normal but some days are more difficult than others. Hug your loved ones…that helps me.

  524. Dearest Stephanie

    I have “been away” from the blog for a while, and only saw this in the last few days.

    I am so, so sorry for you and your family’s loss. I enjoy reading all the stories about your family, and know you have a treasure trove of memories of your mum to drawer on. I hope that they can bring you all a little bit of comfort.

    Hugs and tears from Australia.

    Karin

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