It is with the most profound sadness that I tell you that my darling mother Bonnie died last night.

mumbeachcool 2015-02-20

I would like nothing more right now than to tell you all everything. To tell you every detail of her, and every amazing thing about her and how her hands were and the incredible things she did with her one wild and precious life, and all that has happened during the brief time she was ill, but it is all too raw. I feel like her death has left me somehow ripped or broken open, and I want to be so careful about what spills out, lest I can never put it back.

A little time. A little space. I’ll be back.



1,336 thoughts on “Mum

  1. I’ve lost both my parents in the past 24 months- there are no words to help. Seek peace in her life, be kind to yourself, and let others help. My heart breaks for you and your family. My sincerest condolences on your loss.

  2. Oh, my dear. I am so sorry. She gave us you and yours, so we mourn her with you though we never met.. It’s touch the balloons–so hard to let them go….Love and peace, Stephanie.

  3. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I know how much it hurts and how she can never be replaced. I hope you can find peace in many happy memories.

  4. I’m so sorry, Stephanie,

    I lost my mother this year too (May 1). It hurts, a lot, to miss someone you love so much.

    Here’s to our mothers. What gorgeous and precious women they were.

  5. So very sorry to hear this, Stephanie. We’ve all been worried by your absence and now we know our worries were well founded. Take care of yourself. The road ahead is difficult.

  6. I am so profoundly sorry, Stephanie. Losing a beloved parent is awful. Take care of yourself and all your family and we’ll be here when you get back.

  7. My heart breaks for you. There are no words to give you comfort but I can assure this terrible sorrow will eventually, someday, never totally leave, but will begin to morph into happy, loving memories.

  8. Oh Stephanie! I’m so very sorry. From your blog, we’ve gotten to know her a little bit, and she seemed absolutely wonderful. I know you have amazing memories and those will help you through in time. Take all the time you need. We’ll be here when you are ready. Big hugs to you and your family.

  9. I’m so, so sorry to hear this news. I’m a LONG time blog reader, and I know she was one spunky, fun, precious woman. I’m SO glad for the summer trips you’ve had together in recent years. Beautiful memories that can never be taken away. Praying for comfort for your family. Hold that sweet Eliot as much as you can. Babies are so healing to the heart.

  10. I’m so sorry I’m sure I won’t be alone in saying take all the time you need. Sometimes though it does need to spill out, sending hugs and love x

  11. I am so sorry to hear your news. Deep breaths and hug loved ones.

    Some of my favorite blogs of yours was when you and your mom would take a break from the Canadian winter and go some place exotic to warm up. She always seemed like a larger than life force that calmly lead your family along its path. I picture her on a zip line gliding through the forest having a grand time.

  12. Sending you all the love and positive thoughts I can.
    Yesterday it was 8 years since my sister passed away from us and I still miss her every day.
    Take time with your family, cuddle the littles, recover what peace you can when you are able to.

  13. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need – we’re not going anywhere. Much love and hugs and thoughts and prayers for you and yours xx

  14. So very very sorry for your loss. Your stories about your mother were a small glimpse of what a tremendous woman she was. Hugs and love from a distance.

  15. So very very sorry for your loss. Take the time you need. We will be here when you are ready to come back. Consider yourself hugged & know you & yours are loved always.

  16. So sorry for your loss. So much love goes to you upon this sad news. You told us a lot about your mum over the years and her loss will be felt by all of us. She is a part of all our hearts and part of our collective memory and love for you.
    Take care…

  17. I am so sorry to hear. Take all the time you want or need. We wish you and your family our sincere condolences and will be thinking of you.

  18. I am very sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my Mum totally unexpectedly 10 years ago. You will get through this and it does get easier.

  19. My heart goes out to you. I can honestly say I know a bit of what you are going through, as my husband is currently in inpatient hospice. Sending hugs.

  20. They tell us the pain will ease but the gap will always remain. Hopefully when the gap is felt the memories, both serious and silly will fill in for a while. You’ve been rocked hard with the sudden loss but it sounds like you also have some good memories. Hope they provide some comfort for you and your family. Take care.

  21. My deepest condolences. I love the postings of your family even more than of knitting and spinning, and those of your mother stand out–especially of your tropical trips in the winter. You had a wonderful mother and she a wonderful daughter.

    Please take whatever time you need. Tell, don’t tell, your decision. The Blog will understand.

  22. I am sure I am not alone in thinking of your mum as a member of the Blog.

    She meant so much to you; the loss is breathtaking. I am so sorry for you and the family. Love and strength to all.

  23. My heart goes out to you and your family. August 28th was the 7th anniversary of my mother’s death and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I won’t tell you that it gets better but with time the totally raw pain eases and you can remember all the great times you had with her, all she taught you, all your mother was and rejoice in the fact that this wondrous person was your mother without feeling that your heart will shatter.

  24. Stephanie,
    I am so sorry to hear of this loss. Please take all the time you need. Strength and love to you in this time of grief.


    • Beautifully said, rams.

      My first thought was, “crap!” I was so looking forward to more Mom and Steph adventures. (It’s all about me – don’t you know?)
      hugs to Stephanie.
      add to that, I had to touch the cat. Just lost mine…..:(

    • Yes , a woolly pocket of love for Steph. She gives so much to us and it’s hard when we can’t give back all the joy she gives to us. I agree with everyone who says take all the time you need and only share what you want to Steph and lots of love to you. If The Blog was living near you, you would be so stuffed full of soup and cake. Your freezer would be full of vegetarian lasange that we made you and you would be wrapped up in 1000 sock yarn memory blankets/ mitred square blankets/lace shawls and probably couldn’t move from underneath all the fibre we would give to you! I imagine that my birth mother who I havent found yet is in the sky and I talk to her, in my mind. So I don’t know what your going through but I do know a bit about sky mothers and I can tell you they are always there and they listen and they like funny stories! I feel just as close to her as if she were a real person, right in front of me. That’s my crazy sharing for the day ,anyway. Xox to everyone.

    • exactly so, Rams

      Stephanie – so very sorry for this – The Blog has your back – Hugs to all, special kisses for the Babe

  25. My heart weeps for you. I am in tears for you. It is very difficult to lose your mother. Wishing all your family comfort and peace.

  26. Oh goodness, I hoped you were alright with the gap in posts – this such unbelievably sad news.

    The loss of a mother is like nothing else – remember to be gentle with yourself.

  27. My heart breaks for you and your family. Losing your mum rips right through the core of your being. Your mother seemed like such a fun loving and warm person.
    My deepest sympathies. Take the time you need and remember that the Blog loves you

  28. Steph, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you all of the best wishes for comfort and peace and the support of those around you.

  29. So sorry for the death of your Mom. I hope all the good energy swirling towards you from near and far can be of some comfort. Be with the ones you love, cry, laugh, drink some wine or scotch or both, eat and tell stories. We will still be here when you are ready to come back to us. Send you strength and hope.

  30. My heart goes out to you, Stephanie. Losing a mom is sooo hard. I lost mine 15 years ago and I still find myself thinking “I need to tell Mom about this”. Much love coming your way. Hang in there.

    eta: once again the robot monitor is watching. Touch the clock to post. We never have enough time with our loved ones.

  31. My deepest, deepest condolences. I lost my maternal Grandma and my husband lost his maternal Nana this summer, both unexpectedly. There is nothing I can say to ease your pain, but I am trying to take my own solace in continuing to make what I can with my hands, as my Grandma did. Soon I will be hanging the stained glass hummingbird in the window I inherited from her, and I will be wrapping my family in woollies inspired by the multitudes she made for us.

    Take care dear friend, and hold your beautiful grandbaby tight.

  32. Dear dear Steph, I am so sorry, there are no words. Know that we are here, that we are always here behind you to hold you up when you need us. Sending you and your family much love.

  33. Oh, Stephanie, I am so very sorry to read of your loss. There are no words to express the depths that bereavement takes you to, just know that people are thinking of you and yours and wishing you all strength to cope with the aftermath of life after mum. Hugs and best wishes xx

  34. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum 12 years ago and there are still times when the grief rips through me. Be kind to yourself please.

  35. Dear Stephanie,
    My sincerest condolences… Virtual hugs coming your way. Holding you and your family in my thoughts.


  36. Sending love and condolences to you and to the entire extended family that has been left bereft by such a deep loss. May you all find some peace and comfort in your love for each other.

  37. Although we have never met, I think of you as a dear, dear friend and my heart breaks for you and your entire family. I will hold you in my thoughts.

  38. I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. Please know that knitters throughout the world are holding you and your family in our hearts and sending warmest condolences.

  39. My condolences to you and your family. I expect it feels like it can’t be really happening and horribly real at the same time. Take comfort in your memories and knowing that many people care and are thinking of you. With sympathy.

  40. My sincere condolences on the loss of your Mother. I cannot even comprehend how much this loss must hurt. Wishing you and your family peace and healing during this sad time.

  41. I am so very sorry for your loss. I’ve loved hearing about (and sometimes seeing!) all the wonderful adventures you and your girls have had with her through the years. She was clearly an amazing mum. I know a little of what you’re feeling, as I, too, lost my own mother after an illness. It’s been 5 years and I still reach for my phone to send her a quick text. I will always miss her, but it DOES hurt a little less now.

    Personally, I’ve always found the Jewish faith to have it right when it comes to grief. Let yourself fully feel everything for the first year. And, as they say, may her memory be a blessing.

  42. My deepest condolences to you and your family. All losses are hard, but there is something that stings a little differently when it is your mother. We will all be here for you when you’re ready.

  43. So very sorry for your tragic loss. Sending thoughts and prayers of love, peace, and comfort. We’re here when you need us.❤️

  44. I’m so sorry that you and yours are going through this tremendous pain and loss. I wish I could bring you all a pot of soup and some warm bread for comfort. Take the time you need for yourselves.

  45. I lost my mother 10 years ago and it still feels fragile. Take all the time that you need to be able to care for the broken parts.

  46. Stephanie I’m so sorry. It was such a pleasure to share bits of your relationship with her– especially your trips the last couple of years.

    My deepest sympathy

  47. I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. From your posts I can tell that she deeply loved her family, and was deeply loved by them in return.

    You will be in my thoughts tonight.

  48. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Sending love and hugs. Feeling your pain – been there with my parents. Time will help. ❤️

  49. Oh, Steph. I will leave you the only words that resonated in my deepest grief: it hurts just as much as it is worth.

    Love is like life, merely longer.

  50. Dear Stephanie and family….There are no words that express how sad I am to hear of your mom’s death. I loved reading about her when you would write about her and always thought that you and your family were so blessed to have her. Know that I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. We will all be here when you are ready….remember that you all are loved very much. Shalom.

  51. Your mother sounds like an amazing woman and has inspired you and your family, particularly the females, in tremendous ways. I am so sorry for your loss, and your family’s loss. Hold on tight to each other.

  52. A hug from the blog.

    So nice that you were able to spend time with your mummy’s year. Cherish that.

    We will be here when you are ready.

  53. My heart hurts for you and your family. It was easy to tell from the way you talked about your mom through the years what a wonderful person she was. Wishing you peace and wonderful memories as your family rallies together through this.

  54. Oh my gosh Stephanie, I was not expecting this. I am so sorry. Sending much love and healing vibes through the universe channels. Oh man…

  55. oh Steph I am so, so sorry. I’ve had you in my prayers since the first week of radio silence when I was afraid something bad was happening, and will continue for you and all your family. Take care of yourself, hug all those you love close to you, take all the time you need.

  56. So very sorry. Been there. I miss telling mine all the good stuff the most. One day we’re the elders, such an odd situation.

  57. Oh No! I’m so sorry. I remember your descriptions of vacations with her… to Cuba, for instance. My thoughts are with you and the rest of your family.

  58. Oh no wonder you were gone. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost your Mother. You and all your family have my sincere condolences. You take whatever time you need. We the blog will be here when you’re up to returning. Consider yourself hugged

  59. I’ve been a long time reader but have rarely (if ever) commented for some reason. This post moved me so much, and I couldn’t help but tear up with compassion for you, your mother and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you all the grace and space to move through the grieving process in exactly the way you need to. I’m holding you and your family in my thoughts.

    • Very well said. I too have been a long time reader who rarely comments, but love you and yours as if we have been friends for all this time. I am sorry for your loss and am holding you and your family in my heart. Lots of love to you all.

  60. oh, Stephanie, I’m so sorry. Keep breathing, be kind to yourself, let yourself do whatever you need to do to process. We’re here when you need us. xxoo

  61. Losing someone who has been so much a part of your life always hurts like crazy. A very wise woman once wrote that grief is a process that takes as long as it takes. However long it takes you to work through the process, take that time; don’t let anyone try to put a time limit on it.

    Meanwhile, I (like the rest of the blog) will be sending you healing thoughts.

  62. I am so sorry about the loss of your mum. All of us that care about you understand that you need to take some time to digest the event and it’s implications and to come to a place where you feel comfortable talking about it. Take that time, do what you need to do. We will all still be here when things begin the long road of healing and acceptance. The loss will never go away, we just have to find ways of coping with it. Hugs and prayers!

  63. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Every time you have written of her we can see her joy and the love between you.
    You and your family will be in my thoughts

  64. I am so, so sorry for your and your family’s loss. From the glimpses I’ve had through your blog I know she was an amazing woman. Sending you and yours love and prayers as you cope with this wrenching change in your world.

  65. Stephanie, I am so very sorry that you and your family have lost this wonderful woman. Your love and joy in her was evident in every word you ever wrote about her. Physically, she may have departed this earth, but her love and her spirit live on in your hearts always.

  66. Thank you for having shared a bit of your life with your wonderful mother with all of us in your “blog family”. Please accept our sincere condolences. May memories of good times help you to continue on, through the pain of this loss.

  67. I am so sorry. There is no way to fully explain to someone else why or how the people who are most precious to us are so wonderful. But everyone who has ever lost someone like that knows that losing them is the most wrenching thing that can happen. Wishing you and your family the joy of many happy memories and, in time, peace.

  68. So sorry for this sudden and unexpected loss in your lives. May your love for her and the memories you have bring some consolation at this time.

  69. Stephanie… I am so sorry. I know from your writings that she was such a wonderful person, and what a profound loss this is. We love you. Take as much time as you need.

  70. So very sorry. My mom died on Dec 31. The ground shakes beneath your feet and you feel like it will never stop. But it does and eventually you realize that you are now ‘senior’ female in the family. A sobering realization. Hugs.

  71. I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. May her memory be a blessing and a comfort to you and all who mourn her passing, now and always.

  72. I am so sorry about the news of your terrible loss. I wondered when you were silent, hoping that it didn’t mean something was wrong.

    I always loved reading about your Mom, or especially finding a comment written by her every now and then. She was unbelievably witty, like her daughter.

  73. Oh my dear, I’m sending so much love your way. From what you’ve told us she was an amazing person and I’m sure will be much missed. {{{hugs}}} from afar.

  74. I am so sorry to hear this. Take all the time and space you need to grieve, and find new footing. We will still be here when you feel up to returning. I enjoyed reading about your mother, and the occasional comments she left here. Peace, comfort, and gentleness, to you and yours.

  75. Oh my gosh! I met her once, I think? Thinking of you as I know family is important and I know you will miss her forever! The price we pay for Love!

  76. It seemed like you had a wonderfully close bond. Sending you peace and love during these days and weeks to come. She will be with you always.

  77. Oh Stephanie, my heart breaks for you. I know how much your loved your Mum and how much she loved you. I wish I could find the right words to tell you how sorry I am. Just know that I am thinking of you and wish you all the strength to get through this horribly difficult time. 🙁

  78. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, we are never old enough to not need them, and their loss leaves such a huge hole in our lives and our hearts. Even after 14 years I’ve found that the holes don’t go away, but they stop bleeding and eventually stop hurting so much. The love that you shared will never go away, it will always be there to comfort you.
    I think it’s wonderful that she got to be a great-grandmother to Elliot for a little while.
    Seems as though the whole blog is sending healing thoughts and love.

  79. I am so so sorry to hear this news! My deepest condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts as you go through very sad time.❤️

  80. Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear this. I was concerned that your silence on the blog was due to a family emergency. My mother’s death was a blow, and it took a while to recover. Blessings on your family as you grieve a beloved matriarch.

  81. I knew it was going to be bad. Sincerest condolences to you and yours.

    You’re never old enough to lose your mum. Eventually, you get used to it, more or less, but not ‘over’ it. Thirty + years later, I still want my mum.

    What I felt at the time was disorientated and panicked free-fall, combined with the notion I’d just been shoved to the head of the line.

    Prayers for comfort and peace. Take all the time you need. The Blog will be here.

  82. Deepest hugs and sympathy.

    May her memory be a blessing to you. We are ready to walk with you when you are ready for us. Hugs and love,

  83. Stephanie, my heart is broken for you and your family. Loss, especially one so profound, changes the shape of your life forever. I’ll be keeping you in my heart, dear one.

  84. I am so so sorry fpr your loss. I’m sure you have enough running through your head. Be assured that we all hold you (and your sister and everyone) in our hearts. I wish I could give you a hug and cry with you.

  85. Take all the time you need and more. The blog will be here when you come back. I am so very sorry for your loss. Blessings, love, and peace for your mum, you, and your family.

  86. You owe us nothing. We all owe you condolences, sympathies, and prayers, for you and your family, for what has to be a tremendous loss.

    Take your time.
    Hug your people.
    Count your blessings, not your burdens.
    We’ll be here with love and support.

  87. I lost my mother almost ten years ago, it gets a little better but never goes away.
    Be kind to yourself, hug babies and your grown children. Let them hug you and don’t try to shove the tears away to be strong.

  88. Oh, I am so very sorry that you lost you Mum. There just are NO words for this tragedy.

    She sounds like she was a wonderful woman and what a blessing that she was your mother. Peace be with your family.

  89. Good healing thoughts with you and yours. Take the time to hug your girls and your grandson and be kind to yourself. The black hole will get smaller and become memories….

  90. No matter how many people say how sorry they are, there’s always room for more — love, hugs, and eventually the happy memories will sustain you.

  91. Condolences to you and your family on such a profound loss. She may be missed, but never forgotten. You and your family are in my prayers.

  92. Oh, Stephanie. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so very sorry. I will hold you and your family and the people who loved your mom in my heart and my prayers and in the light. There is never enough time with the people we love.

    I’m including this link to a Dear Sugar article that comforted me after my husband died. It’s okay if you never click it, it’s okay, take all the time you need, be gentle with yourself, please please be gentle with yourself. This is just about the hardest thing in the world, what you’re going through.

    I don’t have words, so I’m borrowing these. You never lose the love you have for your mum, and you never lose the love she had for you. There’s no where you can go, that she won’t be there with you. I’m positive she was and is proud of you. And I hope Millie is keeping her company. hugs and condolences and have a drink for your mom for me

  93. I am so sad and sorry for your loss. Having read about some of your adventures with her, she sounds quite wonderful and I know you will miss her terribly. Sincere condolences.

  94. Stephanie, I’m So Very Sorry about your Mum’s passing. It’s an awful club to join when you lose someone you love and yet, we’re here to hold you in thought, word and deed. Much Peace to your family at this difficult time and I am holding you in the Light.

  95. Steph, may all the memories of the best of times with your mom carry you through this difficult moment of loss. “The Blog” will be here whenever you feel like returning.

  96. I’m so sorry! I wish I had magic words to make it better, but they don’t exist. Time helps some. Thank you for telling us. I was a bit worried.

  97. Oh Stephanie, I’m so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away this year also, in February. Take care of yourself and your family, knowing that we’re all sending our love….

    • Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. Know you and your entire family are in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing all the wonderful stories and adventures of your mum through your blog.

  98. Oh, dear Stephanie, I am in tears. Please accept my most sincere condolences. I know there are no words right now — I lost my own Mom right after Christmas and I am still reeling. All I can offer right now by way of comfort is that no matter what awaits us, or not, as we enter that final doorway, we are immortal as long as we are remembered. Much love and many long distance hugs from Louisiana…


  99. Oh dear, I’m so very sorry. What a shock. Your mom seemed like a spunky woman, from your descriptions of her. Such a loss.
    Take the time you need, seek solace from your family and friends and knitting, and take good care. Holding you in my heart and thoughts.

  100. Dear Stephanie – I am so very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. No words are appropriate, but know that you have honoured her well in your roles as mother, grandmother and friend all along, and I’m sure you will continue to do so. Hold tight to your memories as they will bring you much comfort – time does not heal all wounds, but it will soften the edges.

  101. I’m so sorry to hear this. Your adventures with your mum were some of my favorite stories on this blog. My condolences and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. 🙁

  102. Ah, such sorrow. Another part of the lovely Mary Oliver poem you quote seems so apt:

    “Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
    I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
    into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
    how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
    which is what I have been doing all day.”

    Wishing you the comfort of strolling and open spaces as you grieve —

  103. I still “talk” to my mother every day and I channel her chicken soup making or baking genes whenever I feel the need to nurture myself. She passed away 11 years ago and there are times that I am still shocked that she is not there. Take the time you need. It is profound to lose a parent. At the same time, I hope you can feel grateful to have had such a mother.

  104. Very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. What you’ve said here is a wonderful tribute to her in itself. Time enough to tell us the full story when you’re ready.

  105. words seem so inadequate. I’m sorry Stephanie. You are so dear to so many , and I know we all wish we could wrap you in our arms and comfort you. I lost my mother suddenly last summer and I know how painful and wrenching it is. The best advice I got was of course from another knitter : ” be gentle with your self “. Much love to you and yours

  106. I’m so sorry.

    Now is the time for family and remembering. Take the time needed for you and yours.

    We’ll be here when you get back.

    Thoughts and prayers.

  107. I know that raw feeling. The severity of the pain gets a little less raw after a bit. Be kind to yourself and try to let others take a little care of you. My heart and thoughts are with you ❤️

  108. Dear Stephanie, I am crying my eyes out over your heartbreaking news. Our mum’s are our rock, our safe place to vent about things that only they will understand because they are your mum. My heart is with you and your family during this very difficult time. I loved the grand adventures you two shared together and with us. She looked like a real firecracker and enjoyed life to its fullest. Don’t worry about us, we will be here when you need us. Peace friend…

  109. Words are a bitter and impotent stand-in for what occupies the heart at times like this. I am grateful to your felicity with words that has allowed me to see glimmers of your mother on these blog pages and in your books over the years. I will not soon forget her expression while a monkey sat on her head/shoulders. Keep in mind that the immensity of the grief and pain is in large part due to the strength of the bond that you shared and will continue to share. I wish you and your family peace and solace.

  110. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My mom passed away two years ago and it was such a difficult time. Sending you hugs and may you be surrounded with love while it all washes over you.

  111. I have been thinking of you often since the rally. I’m thinking of you and your family. Mainly I’m thinking ‘it sucks’. I hope there is peace for your hearts as soon as ever there can be.

  112. Love and prayers to you all from over the pond in mid-Wales, with our deepest sympathy. Been there, nearly 22 years ago, and still miss her (and my Dad 27 years earlier). Love never dies, though, and they’re still with us in some way. Bless you all.

  113. I am so sorry, Stephanie. I lost my mother exactly 3 years ago, and still miss her every day. Please take all the time you need, and take care of yourself and your family. We’ll be here when you are ready.

  114. I am so sorry for your loss. I was worried about the “radio silence”. I lost my mother almost 30 years ago. Time will ease the pain but your memories will remain. Hold on to the good memories, let go of the bad ones. You will be in my thoughts.

  115. My heart aches for you, Stephanie. Be gentle with yourself. Grief is such hard work. I hope your memories of your wonderful mom will help you heal. Sending you hugs.

  116. So sorry for your profound loss. “The Blog” loves you and is surrounding you with love, prayers, and light for you and yours. We’ll be here when you get back.

  117. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mother. Words are of small comfort, but know that you and your family will be in my thoughts. I lost my Mom six week ago and I feel the emptiness daily. The tears are fewer, and the good memories are beginning to overtake the tears.
    Wishing you peace.

  118. Steph, my heart goes out to you and your family. There are no words but please take care of yourself and give yourself all the time you need. All your readers are sending you you hugs.

  119. I think we all knew something tough was happening and are grateful you chose to share with us. I know I have been thinking of you and peace to you multiple times every day for several weeks.

    Grieving is a journey that can become less bumpy over time.

    Gratitude for your family and your friends and support network. Thank good card of yourself. We love you.

  120. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I will say Sanskrit prayers for her to ease her transition, which is the only thing I know to do. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

  121. Stephanie I am so very sorry. I am at a loss at this moment, all I know is that I was so privileged to have had your Mum as first my boss, then my mentor, sometimes my “second Mum” and always, always my friend. I can say without hesitating that your Mum was the most extraordinary woman I have known. I am shattered by this news. I can’t imagine how it must be for all of you. Peace and big hugs. Carol

  122. Dear Stephanie,
    I, too, am so sorry for your loss. The pic on Instagram is perfect. I hope you can remember her like that.

    Prayers and hugs coming your way.

  123. Please accept my deepest condolences. It can’t be an accident that your family seems so wonderful. I feel confident that it came thru your dear mum.

  124. My mum died exactly 2 years ago today. Personally, I am only just now starting to come out of the Cave I’ve been dwelling in all this time. That might sound like a scary omen for you, however, you are far more resilient than I.
    Give yourself time and space and don’t make anything try to look like how it’s supposed to look. You don’t owe anyone anything.

  125. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. I have never commented before but I’ve read every post and feel as though I know your family. I know your mother will be missed and I wish your family peace and comfort during this terrible time.

  126. I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom. While I never met her, but I have a smile on my face thinking about the times you wrote about her. She seemed like such a unique and funny person. Try to take solace in her memory.

  127. Take all the time you need; your faithful friends online will wait. A big online hug from me, and know that we all sympathize with your huge loss.

  128. I am so very sorry. Mums are special and cannot be replaced. Hug that little grandchild a little closer. She lives through him. Peace and love.

  129. Dear Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear this news. I lost my mom in 2015. Please take as much time as you need to grieve and start healing. My sympathy to you and your family.

  130. Dear Steph,
    I do, unfortunately, know how you feel. I am sorry, so very sorry. We will be here and awaiting your return when you feel it is right.

    May peace be upon you and all whom you love and hold dear.

  131. There are no words or healing for this. There is simply the time with your mum and the time after. I lost my dad 7 years ago this November and life has not been the same since. I find solace in the fact that he would be so proud of my life now and the choices I have made in the last year.

    What I am trying to say is that as someone who lost a parent at a young age, is, honour her memory in every way you can, and live in a manner that she would be proud of. And also, your grandson needs lots of cuddles right now. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  132. So very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you and your family need, and know that you have a legion of well wishers sending you positive energy.

  133. I am so sorry for your loss. We will hold her, you, and your whole family in the light. If there is anything the Blog can do, we will do it.

  134. I am so profoundly sorry you can no longer see/talk with your mother in person. I no longer can do either with my own. It just doesn’t sound or feel right to say you lost her, like she’s been misplaced. My deepest sympathies extend your way.

  135. I am so sorry for your loss. I am 61 and I lost my Mom in 2009. We were very close. I don’t know if you ever get over it. I find I am learning to live without her but I still think — I need to tell Mom that! My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family.

  136. I have missed you the past few weeks. I did not know what was happening in your life, I just knew that it was unusual that you would leave us (the blog) for so long. I have no words of wisdom, only love to give to you and those you hold dear.

  137. So sorry for your loss. A mother’s love is unique. Keep your mother’s memory in your heart, and she will always be with you.

  138. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. You bring such joy into our lives, hoping you find some peace in yours in the coming days.

  139. Steph–Love is stronger than death. May you find peace and hope and comfort in the love given and received. Surrounding you with my love.

  140. I’ve been worried something heart breaking was going on in your life. My love to you and your family. May the love of your especially wonderful mum continue giving you joy, wisdom, strength, and humor as she lives on in infinite ways through you and her precious family.

  141. I expressed my sympathy on your Instagram page, but I just wanted to add that I’m so happy she met her great grandson. That’s a blessing that neither my mother nor mother in law received. All my best to your girls, too.

  142. I am so sorry to hear of your deep loss. Know that you are all in our thoughts. I hope remembering all the good memories of her are a comfort.

  143. I am so very sorry to hear this Stephanie. Please accept my most sincere condolences to you and your family for this tremendous loss.
    Take all the time you need.

  144. Oh I am so very sorry for your loss–it was clear through your words over the years what a magnificent woman she was. Peace to you and your family during this time.

  145. Praying for peace for your family and gratitude that you are close to one another and can lean together for strength as you learn a new way of living without her.

  146. My deepest sympathy to you and your family on this devastating loss. Your mum was a very special woman; she spread joy far and wide. I’m so glad that she got to meet her great-grandson.

  147. Oh I am so sorry to hear this. I hope your friends and family and your happy memories of her can help lift you through this loss. Besos y abrasos from Tucson, Arizona.

  148. Hugs to you and everyone who loved her or was loved by her. Your mind will be elsewhere while you grieve, so be careful and patient with yourself and everyone around you.

    When you feel like writing again we will be here.

  149. We love you. No explanation needed.. take all the time… loving healing blessings to you and your family. Let yourself just be. Hold that baby. Love kathleen in Vermont

  150. I don’t know you, but you’ve given me so many laughs and tears over the years with your writing, that I just want to say, I’m crying for you and your family. Wishing you peace and healing.

  151. So, so sorry Stephanie. She’ll never leave you. Your bond is too strong. She’ll always be there ‘just around the corner’.

  152. As part of the blog family please accept my deepest sympathies. A profound loss of a special loved one is felt by all. Peace to you and your family…

  153. I only know your mother thru the blog obviously, but she seemed a vibrant and colorful lady. My sympathies to you and your family. May your memories become friends.

  154. I am so sorry to read of your loss. Take care of yourself, then take care of the others.

    May your memories bring you comfort during this sad time.

  155. I am more sorry than I can ever really say. I lost my dad almost two years ago and it still comes in waves. Let yourself grieve the way you need to, take your time, be kind to yourself. A loss like this, is forever changing. Little things will send you over the edge, and that’s completely ok. The truth is, nothing will ever be the same, you will miss her forever. What will get you through is the love of your family. And to know that you are so very loved. God Bless. I’ll keep you all in my prayers. Please remember to be kind to and forgiving of yourself. All my love, Liz

  156. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us through your stories and posts. We all will be thinking of you and your family.

  157. Oh, Stephanie. I am so sorry. I wish you peace in the beautiful memories that you have. She seemed so youthful and I thought how lucky you were to have the beautiful getaways that you had with her. I lost my Mom in 2000. She had just turned 70. I still need her. I want to call her to talk about world events, my kids, my grandchildren…I talk to her and write to her and last week, in a dream, I felt her hug me, oh so tightly. It was the best. She is always with me and no doubt, your Mom will always be with you. My condolences. ❤️

  158. Stephanie, please accept my sincere condolences. Nothing will take away the pain, but time will ease it, and you will be able to clearly remember the good times and the strong bond that will ALWAYS connect you.

  159. Dearest Stephanie:
    We all knew something must be wrong. Many of us have been where you find yourself now, we understand. Be with your family and take care of yourself. The Blog will be here when you need us.

  160. Stephanie. Sending prayers, hugs and peace your way. Cry when you want, hug your little one, remind each
    other with stories and it is ok to laugh. So many send you strength, love and support. Allow others the gift of taking care of you.

    • How true about it being ok to laugh. My favorite picture of my niece is of her and me laughing at my mom’s funeral. So many of us lovingly laughed that day……

  161. Add another heartfelt note of sympathy from me. I’ve lost both parents and I know how torn up it makes you feel. It hurts so bad. There’s no getting around that. I’m glad you have such a wonderful family to see you through. *more hugs*

  162. So very sorry for you and your family. Love and strength to take care of each other. So very glad you have many good memories of her and that she got to meat Elliott.

  163. I am so sorry. You have always spoken of your mom with such affection; the joy you found in your relationship (and I know she found as well) was obvious. Sending hugs and love from Illinois.

  164. I am so, so sorry, Stephanie. Losing a parent, especially one with whom you are close, is wrenchingly painful. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  165. I am so sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I lost my mother on July 24th so I understand the deep rift it leaves. Please remember that so many people love you and your family through the words you share with us. I wish your mother and all of you peace.

  166. What I know for sure: the pain of losing your mum is directly proportionate to how deeply you love her. This is a huge tear in the fabric of your life that can never be mended. Nothing will ever be the same.

    You were so fortunate to be her daughter. Thoughts and prayers for you in the difficult weeks and months ahead.

  167. So sorry for your great loss.

    We are here to suuport you, and we love you. Do what you need to for yourself and your family. Hugs.

  168. Oh no, I’m so sorry Steph. My thoughts are with you and your family. She was a lovely person, and it was wonderful “meeting” her through your writing. So much sympathy.

  169. I am so sorry to read this. From your various posts about her she always sounded like a wonderful person. May you hold precious memories close and know that The Blog will be here when you are ready. Peace, yarnharlot and family.

  170. Oh Stephanie, my heart sinks to read these words. Prayers to the universe that all the love and comfort you’ve put out into the world come back to you and surround you and your family. Prayers for comfort, healing, and peace coming your way as well. Take what you need and come back when you need more.

  171. You have all the time in the world. I am glad that your mother had time to hold her great-grandchild, and that you and yours had your time with her. All our love. And baked goods as well.

  172. Stephanie, I am beyond sad to hear of your mum’s passing. I’m sending you and your family my heartfelt condolences. I hope the memories you have of her give you peace and comfort in your time of sorrow. ((Hugs))

  173. You will feel ripped apart and lost for quite some time. That’s ok, it means your mom took a piece of you with her. That’s good.

    Tonight I will be praying for you and all those who loved your mom. She must have been amazing, because you top them all.

  174. I am so sorry for your loss – may you and your family be spared further sorrow and may you all rejoice in the wonderful memories and stories that will remain with you forever.

  175. “and the incredible things she did with her one wild and precious life”.

    That pretty much sums up everything you could possibly say and everything you need to hold on to.

    I have been in that neighbourhood, and you will find your way through (as I did, am still doing) because you have an incredible support system of family and friends.

    I will hold you all in my heart and my prayers.

    Peace, strength and courage be within all those she loved.

    Chris S in Canada

  176. My eyes and my heart are full for you Stephanie. Gentle hugs and all my sorrow and love for you and your family. Take all the time you need.

  177. oh very sad. i loved all the stories and reading of your trips witb your Mom. i hope your wonderful memories will soon ease the pain.

  178. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is like losing a piece of you but she will live on in your heart, and memories.

  179. I am so, so very sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care and take time to remember all your wonderful times together. Hold each other very close.

  180. Words completely fail me. I’ve always loved your stories of your time with her, and marveled at the woman who created the women we’ve come to love here. The Blog will wait for you. Now, is about you and yours. Take care.

  181. i am so very deeply sorry. i loved reading the stories of your adventures together, and the way you spoke of her and knew her was so clearly so very, very loving and strong. may you and your clan find comfort, soon and speedily, and may your mother be held in the arms of the eternal.

  182. The stories of your mom are some of my favorite, especially those during the holidays. Although your heart aches, take the time to remember all the stories you can so that little e and all his future cousins will know their great grandmother.

    With my deepest sympathy, kate

  183. My heart breaks for you once more, Stephanie. I am so sorry. Sending you and your family light and love at this most difficult of times. Hugs.

  184. There is nothing that can be said except that I’m so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this awful time.

  185. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing glimpses of her over the years. She sounds lovely and obviously loved and was loved. Be gentle with yourself.

  186. I knew only a little of your mother. The bits that you were generous to share. What I knew she seemed to be a marvel and I am so glad for the time that you had. I hate goodbyes.

  187. Your lovely mom seemed like such a bright spot in the world. Thank you for sharing a tiny bit of her with the Blog. I’m so sorry she’s gone. Take whatever time you need; we’ll be here, holding you in our hearts.

  188. I am filled with sadness at the passing of a woman I know only through your posts. She sounds like one hell of a broad, and I bet everyone who knew her was incredibly lucky indeed. You and yours (and that includes the extended fam & friends) are in my thoughts.

  189. So sorry for your loss.
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    To have such a short while to get used to the idea of loosing her, and say all the words you want to say to her, is very sad.
    Poor you who are left behind

  190. We, the blog, (I hope I can speak for the majority), are here for you. Our hearts go out to you and your family.

    Take all the time you need. We will wait. All my love to you.

  191. So many of us were trying to somehow, as best as we could, be there for you at the same time that it broke the blog.

    I am so very sorry you lost your mum. I am holding you and yours in my thoughts and my love in the face of such an incomprehensible grief.

  192. You have so generously shared so much of your life with us, and we all feel your loss. You have so generously shared our life, and your family’s , with us and memories of your mother will be a blessing for us all. I am so sorry for your loss

  193. Whenever I need to be cheered up I think of the post about your watching the Oscars together and your mother calling Justin Timberlake “Tuscan Lumberjack.” I’ve had the opportunity to work with Jessica Biel and I mentioned that nickname to her, so your mother’s genius has made it all the way to its subject. I loved getting to read about her over the years, and wish you comfort in your time of sorrow.

  194. This is the time for extreme self care, Stephanie, and I don’t know what that means for you. Whatever it is, please do it, and we are here whenever you’re ready to share or not.

  195. I’m sending you light and love Steph, because I know how unfathomably deep and painful that loss is. May you have the time and space you need to process your grief, and to find the new person that you are, who carries this loss.

  196. You have our deepest and most sincere sympathies in this time of deep sorrow and loss. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of you and yours right now. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to come back and visit with us. HUGS.

  197. Stephanie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I loved getting to know your mother through your stories about her — she was one of a kind, and I know will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved her.

  198. There are no words. Your true friends, both in real life and virtual, will help you through this difficult time. Let them be there for you. Ask for what you need. Lean on them. And then just grieve for as long as you need to. It will feel like forever, but eventually the loss eases. We’ll still be here when you are ready and able to resume.

  199. Dear wonderful, responsible, self-conscious, introverted Stephanie,

    Don’t hold your tremendous pain in. Go outside to sob, scream and howl at the moon (yes, you can), in addition to cry into your pillow until it is soaked. Waves of sorrow will continue to come in the months and years ahead, so wash, rinse, repeat. It won’t change the fact that your mum is no longer around physically, but you may find it good for your soul. Your mum’s spirit will remain with you and those she loved forever.

    Comfort and peace to you and your family . . . in time.

  200. I am sad for you. Your mom sounded like a very fine lady. Take care. You are lucky to be a knitter and use your time to think of her as you knit each stitch. You will have to write the stories of her to pass on to Elliott and future little ones who didn’t know her.

  201. I’ve grown to love your mother, actually all the women in your family, over the stories in the blog. She will be sorely missed. Sending you love. My condolences.

  202. We were so worried about you, and, it turns out, for good reason. She must have been a powerful, loving woman to raise such a wonderful daughter as you. May she rest in peace, and may time and love help you and your family heal.

  203. Words at such times seem of little help even though you reach for them as the writer that you are and we reach for them because we are only in your computer and cannot hug you.

    There will come a time when you want to write about your grief and your wonderful, singular Mum even if words are not enough.

    I hope you know that we love you and think of you. I hope you feel that you are surrounded and upheld and that you have company in your sorrow. God bless

  204. I’m so sorry and know that nothing I write will change the pain you are feeling now. I lost my mother six years ago Sunday so can say that time will ease the pain but there will always be a missing piece of your heart. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  205. Thinking of you all and holding you in my heart, all of you, strong, fiercely good people. Your hands come from your Mum’s hands, hold them over your heart in the hard times. Wrap yourself in knitted love and we will be here when you return. Go gently dear hearts.

  206. Dear Stephanie, I just hugged my mother goodbye after she was here for lunch today and then saw your sad news. I will hug her even harder next time. (Please know my husband has just been introduced to Tuscan Lumberjack). May peace come to you with time.

  207. Life can never be the same without a Mum. But she will be with you always, each time you do that thing she showed you, or repeat that saying she had, she’ll be there.
    One of the things that comforted me was to see how many people loved my Mum as much as I did. I felt so proud that she had been mine. Seems like your Mum was that kind of person too, so I hope that will help you in these tough early days. A big Welsh hug (a cwtch) is yours x

  208. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Loosing a beloved one is so horrible and sad.
    I wish you and our family all the best and a lot of strenght to cope with this.
    Love from a long time blog reader from Germany.

  209. I am so very sorry for you all. There are no words to acknowledge the depths of your grief. For those of us who have lost our mothers, we understand how profound a loss that is, and whatever comfort and and support we can send through the blog, know that it is there. Peace be with you and your family.

  210. Oh Steph, I am so very, very sorry. I know you will be surrounded by your close-knit, loving family, and I hope that you bring one another great peace and solace. May Elliott remind you all that joy still exists in the midst of such appropriate sadness.

    Take your time, we all understand and will wait. Go gently, friend.

  211. I’m so very sorry to hear your sad news, I lost my Mother 5 years ago today. I feel the loss each and every day. My thoughts are with you. Sending my love.

  212. Oh Stephanie, I am so, so sorry. What a loss for you, your family, and everyone who knew her even a little. I used to dislike offering condolences, until I realized that the word means “to be sad with” someone. And sometimes that’s all there is to do. My deepest condolences, Stephanie. We are all sad with you. Your mum sounded awesome. And so proud of you.

  213. She was loved, she has passed her light to you. You too are loved, you carry her light. Her light is eternal.She will never be forgotten, you carry her light.
    We grief with you and for you.

  214. A mother’s love lives on in her children. She’s gone physically, but she’s still in your heart, Stephanie. Don’t rush your grief. Don’t feel you owe anyone anything at this time. You are now permanently changed, but you will move forward and bring everything you knew and experienced with your Mom as a new part of yourself. Your Mom reminded me a bit of my Mom who died 4 years ago–fun, fiercely loving, gently loving, my everything in so many ways.

  215. I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s shocking and shattering and….somehow, totally unexpected what happens to us when a parent dies. Was for me, anyway.

  216. Wishing you peace and comfort in your time of such sorry. You were lucky to have such an extraordinary mother, and Bonnie was lucky to have such an extraordinary daughter. Love to you and yours.

  217. I am deeply sorry for the tremendous loss you and your family have suffered. I send you all a heap of love and will be keeping you all in my prayers. I have learned in the last year that grief isn’t linear, so remember to be gentle with yourself as you move forward.

  218. Losing a beloved parent is so incredibly painful. We love you and will wait patiently for your healing to begin. It’s a bumpy road. Let yourself take whatever time your heart needs.

  219. I am so very sorry for your loss. Words feel so inadequate at this time. When you have had a little time to absorb this devastation, we will be right here waiting to offer comfort. I am sorry for you and your entire family must face this burden. Feel free to lean on us as much or as little as you need. Again, we are all so sorry.

  220. One of my favourite of your blog adventures was when you went to Costa Rica with your Mum. The expression on her face when she was on that zipline was priceless. The heart and soul of ‘The Blog’ is weeping with you now.

  221. I’m very sorry. I’ve enjoyed reading the stories you have shared about your mom – strong, smart and funny. I hope you give yourself grace as you grieve because everyone’s journey is different.

  222. I am so sorry for your deep loss. My mom was my best friend and when I suddenly lost her ten days before my youngest son was born I thought I would never be without the pain. That was 32 years ago, I still miss her but the extreme pain does subside and will be replaced by joyous memories. You are in my thoughts.

  223. So sorry for you loss. Losing your mother is such a difficult thing to go through. Take all the time you need and know that we are all sending you our thoughts and prayers.

  224. No words to say, only many prayers and thoughts going out to you and your family. Take your time, grieve, come back when you can

  225. I’m so sorry; my husband died suddenly this summer, so I understand the raw, gaping wound. Please take care of yourself, let others help with the everyday things. Prayers and warm thoughts winging your way.

  226. Stephanie, The Blog loves you and we loved your Mum. I’m so glad you took all those lovely Mum and Stephanie trips together. Just do what you can as you can and we will keep you in our thoughts (and from some of us, prayers), hold you and yours in the light, and patiently wait out this time of acute sorrow.

  227. I am so, so sorry, Stephanie. Hugs to you, and may you and your family find comfort and peace as you mourn the loss of this special woman.

  228. I am so very sorry. Losing a parent is very hard, and The Blog knows how close you were to her. Much love to you and your family.

  229. Please know that I, along with so many others, are hurting for you and with you at this time of change and transition. While I did not know your Mum, I felt a connection to her through your stories and photos. Mom’s are our anchor. It seems impossible to exist without them. Yet, there you are…remembering that she gave you your anchor so that you can anchor your girls on their journey. What belongs to the heart can never be forgotten. Prayers and love from Utah.

  230. My deepest condolences. Please take all the time you need to heal, knowing that all yarn lovers everywhere are sending their love and energy your way.

  231. I am so sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed reading about your trips with your mother and about what a bright force she was in your life. May her memory be a blessing for you and your family and may you find joy in the love that you have with your mother.

  232. Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. We’re never ready to lose our mothers no matter their age. My mother died in January – a friend told me to close my eyes and remember the good memories – it helps.

  233. When Mom died I couldn’t believe it wasn’t on the 10 O’clock News which should give you a clue what a blow it was. Sounds like your mum went with as much dispatch as mine did. 10 days from becoming ill to saying goodbye. I am so sorry you’ve lost her but you really never lose your mom. I talk to mine all the time and keep her picture over my sewing machine where I use her tools every time I sew. Aren’t you glad she got to meet Elliot? I’d give anything to have put my grandchildren in Mom’s arms. Sorry to be maudlin but I just want to tell you that while it never stops hurting it does become more bearable over time. My thoughts are with your family in this difficult time.

    Funny, I had to “touch the World” to prove I’m not a robot. You, Stephanie, have touched the world in more ways than you can ever know. Peace.

  234. I am so sorry fro your loss. She has left behind a wonderful legacy in you, your sister, and your families. Clearly she was an amazing woman.

  235. Take time. Remember. Cry. Pray.
    A gracious rest, grant to Bonnie dear Lord. May she rest in peace.
    Don’t come back till you want to. We, the Blog will understand.


  236. Oh, my gosh, Stephanie , I am so sorry to hear your sad news. My condolences to you and all those who loved her. From the times you mentioned her in your blog, she sounded like she was a wonderful person .

  237. Stephanie, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. The Blog will have all of you held in our hearts until you are ready to come back.

  238. What a devastating news. I wish you strength in the times still to come, and hope you find solace in each other in facing this loss. My condoleances, take all the time you need to heal.

  239. So sorry for your loss. My mother made the transition yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Hope they both meet up and exchange funny stories about us.

  240. Dearest Stephanie, I was so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. I’ve made a donation to Doctors without Borders in your Mom’s memory.

  241. You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take all the time you need. Having lost my father, grief comes in waves – sometimes it’s a tsunami and sometimes a gentle flow. Know that you are loved and rest in all those beautiful memories of your mother – she will always live in your heart & being.

  242. So sorry to hear this Stephanie. Losing your mom is so hard. Take the time you need & know we’re here loving you & your family. So thankful for those wonderful trips you shared. Blessings to you <3

  243. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you for creating this space. With the world as it is, I often come simply for the reminder that I actually care about total strangers. I will miss Bonnie and I had a little cry for both of you this morning. Sending much love to you and your family.

  244. I am so sorry for your loss. Remember to be kind to yourself as you grieve. I hope warm memories and loving family help ease your grief.

  245. I have been worried something happened, but I was picturing a computer crash of sorts. My deepest sympathies on the devastating loss of your Mom. No more words need be spoken until you are ready.

  246. Oh Stephanie, I am so, so sorry. Of all the people in your life whom you’ve so generously shared glimpses of via the Blog, your mum was one of my very favorites. I don’t pretend to have really known her, but what I knew of her was magnificent. In those glimpses, you have already honored a marvelous woman with your words.

    I know from my own experience how losing a parent, especially a great and good one, rips a hole in everything. The awareness of that loss never really goes away, but the sharpest pain does blur. Eventually, you darn up the hole with stories and memories and love, and in the process find that your family has knit itself into a new shape. The fabric is never the same, but the day comes that you’re able to feel that the new thing is also something great and good and, in its way, whole. But that’s all for later.

    For now, please take however much time you need, feel whatever you need to feel — whether you can ever find words for it or not. Along with so many others, I am holding you close in my heart.

  247. I am so sorry, Stephanie. You shared your Mum so beautifully here and knowing she is gone is terrible and devastating news. I wish you and your family peace.

  248. Dear Stephanie, my heart goes out to you and all your family. I have read your blog since the beginning and have admired your mother and the wonderful relationship you had with her. She was a true individual in the best sense of the word. So glad you had those trips with her in recent years. Love to all of you. Gail H.

  249. You darling girl – I add my condolences to all the rest who love you. We are grateful for Bonnie who raised a girl such as you. It mayn’t feel like it right now, but all shall be well.

  250. I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is always difficult, and becomes very reflective in the days & months of mourning. Good to know that you have such a loving family to help you through this difficult time and new journey you’ll be on.

  251. So very sorry about your loss of your sweet mom. Your world must feel like is falling apart and your heart must hurt so much. Take as long as you need to catch your breath and try to make sense of the way things now are.

  252. I too, have known this pain and there are no words that can really help right now. Just know that others care and that the love you and your Mother shared will always live in your heart. In time the happy memories you have of her will be what sustains you . Hugs to yo Stephanie and I am so very sorry.

  253. Adding my voice to the chorus of sympathy and condolences. May it surround you and support you as you face the difficult times ahead .

  254. I am so, so sorry. In your posts, your mom has always sounded like such a fun, wonderful person. I know you will always miss her, but the memory of her will live on in your heart. Again, I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  255. Steph, I am so sorry. I just read your post, and my heart aches for you. I’ve read your blog for years now, and you feel like a friend. Here’s a heartfelt, invisible hug from an invisible friend.

  256. I’m so, so very sorry. She seemed like an amazing person. (My dad passed away just a week ago, first parent I’ve lost, and it’s a hard place to find your way about.)

  257. I can’t tell you it will be all right. I can’t tell you that the raw wound will heal in time. I can tell you that you’ll think you’re okay, and then for no reason at all you’ll be sitting in a parking lot with tears running down your face because you miss her. I can tell you that this grief is your own, and nobody can, or should, tell you how to grieve, or for how long. In the meantime, I’ll light a candle for you, and for her. <3

  258. Stephanie, there are no words. The pain of losing a parent is so huge and deep, and we each need to find our way through this dark, hard valley on our own. Just know that I, and all of us, are holding you in a virtual hug until you find your feet again. And you will.

  259. We all know that you are completely shattered & exhausted & in need of no one or anything other than your family around you. We all hope that you can feel our love – all of these wonderful knitters from far & wide who feel like we know you, but many of whom you’ve never met. We all wish you the time to just do what you need to do – to be with those you love and we’ll be right here. We love all that you have given to us & now it’s our turn to relieve you of any pressure or obligation to entertain and enlighten us. Your grace will see you through this. Just breathe & “be” – – that’s is all you must do!

  260. I am profoundly sorry for your loss. The little glimpses we’ve seen of your Mum through the lens of the blog revealed what an amazing woman she was, how close you both were, and how blessed you were to have her in your life.

    Sending all my love and reiki healing as you work your way through this dark time.

    Namaste, Rainy

  261. Her love for you and all her family members was apparent each time you mentioned her in the blog. I love the posts about family traditions around the holidays. Keeping those going are a way to keep our lost ones alive in our memories. So glad you’ll have that sweet amongst the bitter. <3

  262. Stephanie, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It’s clear your mother was an amazing person. Sending so much love to you and your family as you move through this time. <3