July 5, 2004

The first step...

...is admitting you have a problem. The events recounted here are as accurate as I am willing to admit to publicly. There may have been a few moment where I sunk lower than this...but it is difficult to live in denial when you've posted it all to the blog.

Friday 11:20 I take pictures of the fibre Laurie sent me, I post those pictures to the blog and I try to forget. I am trying to grow as a person, and this means that I do not dump my current project because something pretty walked by. I am a knitter of conviction.

11:25. The fibre is out of the box. I still have no intention of spinning it though. I've got stuff to do, the Eeyore blanket still needs a border but I'm supposed to fork it over to the recipient in about 24 hours. Clearly there is no time for spinning. Besides, I'm sticking with my plan to finish the tank before I start anything else, I cannot be tempted, besides...I'll enjoy it more if I have to wait for it.

11:30. I'm just going to put the box with the fibre by the wheel. It's important to keep things tidy. Once I've tidied up, then I'll have time for spinning knitting the tank top and finishing Eeyore.

12:30 I have been eating for the last hour, since I cannot eat and spin at the same time. This is similar to when Ken quit smoking and the tip sheet said "try to spend time doing activities that you don't associate with smoking". Ken dejectedly said "Great. I have to live in the shower".

12:35 I am in the shower.

12:40 I have begun a complex period of rationalization. I have decided to pre-draft the fibre, but not spin it. This will leave me enough time to finish the border on the Eeyore blanket, but still give me a taste of the good stuff. It is a good plan, and one I have complete control over.

1:00. I am spinning. This is ok though, because I have figured out how to make it work, I am just going to spin for a little while, just because if I don't start it right away Laurie will think that I don't like it. I don't want her to think that because Laurie's happiness means a great deal to me. I would never be unkind to a friend. Never. I will work on the Eeyore blanket this evening, and it will still be done for tomorrow.

Later, before dinner: I have lost track of time. I am no longer sure of anything except that this fibre is beautiful and perfect and I am not worthy. I am still sure that I can finish the Eeyore blanket, I just need to stay focussed on the spinning so that I don't run out of time. The children say they are hungry, but I remind them that it is "Find your own Food Friday".

6:00 I am forced to stop spinning by the pain in my right leg. A lesser woman would think that the pain was a signal to stop. A lesser woman would be worried about the limp. I am not a lesser woman. I take a tylenol and switch legs. No Problem.

9:00. Victory is mine.


9:02 (pm) As I pull the Eeyore blanket from the bag of denial it's been sitting in, I realize that the universe seeks balance. There are a number of expressions to describe the situation I'm in. "Time to pay the piper" rings true, "Just desserts" is another. "I am so screwed..." is also accurate. The Eeyore border is so big that I need three circulars to go around it. I make coffee and remind myself that I get everything I deserve. It is in these moments that I can see the problems with my overall approach. Luckily, I'm not bright enough to learn from experience.

Saturday, 2:43 am. I fall asleep on the couch, and wake with a start when I impale my inner elbow with a circular point. Eeyore is not finished. I go to bed and set my alarm for 7:30. It will only take two hours to finish Eeyore, but I want to get some spinning in before I start.

7:30: Exhausted, I stagger from bed, wondering briefly if this is all making sense. I mean, I have the fibre and the rest of my life. I could delay gratification, I could grow up a little, I could get some kind of a grip on myself and go back to bed and spin after I finish Eeyore. I could...

7:32: Spinning.

12:00 Eeyore is done.


12:01 Spinnng.

4:30. I briefly contemplate skipping a party that I have promised the children we will go to. Before I manage to yank my will free of the vaccuum of the rainbow roving I am even briefly convinced that I don't like the people at the party. (Note to self: the pull of the roving is harder to resist when weakened by lack of sleep, further note: this is likely the rovings plan)

5:30 I take the whiny Dublin bay socks to the street party. They have a good time. I pretend to love them, but think only of the roving.

12:30 Back home I try to spin but accidentally fall asleep. Luckily the intense cramping in my leg has spread into the right side of my arse, waking me before I fall into the wheel.

10:00 I decide to spend the day with my children, (right after I get a little spinning in).

10:10 The expression "wool widow" is used in the house. I begin to think that Joe and the children may have noticed the wheel attached to my leg. I get up and go out with them. A whole day is wasted on "loving my family" and "spending time with the children".

Sunday morning. 8:30 I attempt to get up before the rest of the family to spin. Joe stops me as I leave our bed, worried that maybe I am getting up to spin. He wonders if maybe the fact that my right leg (or treadle leg, as I have come to think of it) is dragging uselessly behind me means that I may be a little obsessed about the spinning thing. I laugh and gently reassure him that I have no intention of spinning. (With that leg) I'm just going to work for a while. I'm not obsessed.

8:32 I am at the wheel, but when I hear the family coming downstairs and scurry (well, as fast as I can with that gimpy leg) to the computer and feign interest in my job. When Joe asks me if I was spinning I laugh and kiss him to draw his attention away from the still moving wheel. I mumble something about the cat playing with the wheel. I try to look innocent. I don't know if he bought it.
I take another tylenol and wait for these people to clear out. They don't understand anything.

12:30 Victory is mine.


My only regret is that I must wash it to set the twist before I can start the socks.

9:00 Monday morning. The wool is not dry. After a brief period of consideration, I've retrieved the hair dryer, (What? Don't look at me like that. Wool is hair) because nothing can tear me from this project, when the letter carrier comes.
Aubergine and I did a really cool wool trade, and his package for me arrives this morning and has a birthday bonus in it.


Alpaca. I love Alpaca. Maybe a scarf? Oh....gloves, knit sideways? A hat? A wimple? What the heck do I have this hair dryer for?
You know, I should start this right away or Aubergine will think I don't like it.

Posted by Stephanie at July 5, 2004 11:53 AM