July 20, 2004

Sure, mid row.

So, I'm reading this book and knitting on this little pink baby bolero.


Yeah, that's right, a bolero. You got a problem with that? Haven't you ever just sat around looking at the little Aran you are knitting and thought, "Holy crap! I could be knitting a pink bolero with a cross over front! What am I doing with my life! It's all wrong....I've got to get it together." Then thrown down the Aran and seized a sweet pink wool with these little slubs in it and immediately cast on a damned Bolero? I thought so. These problems are far more common than most people would expect. It's not just me.

A quick note about the Cherry Aran: Mary and Chelsea ask "What Aran?" and wonder if this is the handspun sweater for Joe, and Julia thinks maybe she recognises the "Must Have Cardi". All wrong, rest assured that when I begin Joe's sweater with the handspun, no one will miss it. There will be a parade and a party, and cats carrying little trays of watercress sandwiches, and a bevy of trumpets playing a joyous song while the sun shines down on the belly dancers and the release of a thousand white miniature sheep all wearing little gold necklaces, as I dance in the street because I have finally, finally finished the thousands and thousands of yards of freakin' spinning for the sweater.

Don't worry, you won't miss it.

It's not the Must have Cardi either, though I forgot how much I like that sweater....(focus...don't lose your focus...) The Cherry Aran is just the wool re-incarnation of the bungled cotton baby sweater from last week. Nothing new, nothing fancy, It isn't even my pattern since I found the perfect pattern in this book.

Back to my point. So I was reading the "Tips and Tricks" book, when I read this...

"We have all been told never to stop in the middle of a row of knitting...."

It goes on to describe the various ways in which one may avoid doing this.
I'm a little freaked out here. "We have all been told"? "never"? Or what? What happens if somehow you get to be someone who has been knitting for 31 years and you have never, ever heard of this and to make things worse, much, much worse, you have in fact taught many, many people to knit, including innocent children for crying out loud...innocent children, and you never told them this at all. Why, in the name of all things wooly, why do you never stop in the middle of a row? Locusts? Bad Karma? Tornados? What about circular knitting, how do you avoid it, it's all one long row isn't it? What, once you start a circular sweater you have to finish? No eating, no sleeping, for the love of sheep....just. keep. knitting.

I've stopped in the middle of a row a thousand times. Sometimes, I even stop not in the middle, but towards one side - why, I've been completely random with it, never knowing that there was yet another knitting rule that I had smashed to smithereens. What will become of me? What have I been risking? It's gotta be something bad or the book wouldn't say that, but it can't be anything to do with knitting or I would have noticed. Listen, I'm really just mentioning it here as a public service. I'm gonna stop. You better stop too.

Posted by Stephanie at July 20, 2004 12:44 PM