October 7, 2004

Six days.

Dear Rhinebeck Sweater,


Frankly, I'm so disappointed in your behaviour that I didn't even feel like capitalizing your name. I did though, because being disrespectful to you isn't going to help us get through this. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I know that we haven't been together very long, and that this relationship has been really intense. I've given you some of the best seven days of my life and my devoted and singular attention...except for that thing with the mitten, but you knew about that when we met. I've done everything I can to make you happy. I've given you so many chances. I even forgave you when you lied to me about your gauge. I understand. You were afraid. Commitment is hard for me too.

I really think though, that it's time for you to try and move forward with me. We leave for Rhinebeck in six days and I don't want to have to explain about us to all those people. I need you to co-operate with me. I know you think it's not your fault...but I don't know what else to try. I gave you the shiny blue needles...I'm not seeing the mitten anymore...I charted the cables when you felt unsure. I feel like I give and give and give...and you do nothing.

Take last night, I knit on you for hours...and you are hardly any longer at all. It's like I'm in some kind of relationship vortex, I'm putting in all of this effort and what do I get back! Nothing. You just lie there. Did you think that I would just keep trying? Did you think that I forgot how it was when we were working on the sleeve? When we would work together and at the end of the evening there was real progress? That's what I need from you. I can't keep holding this relationship together by myself. I need to feel less alone. I need to feel like when I swatched you, that meant something. That the evening with the ball winder wasn't just the wine talking. If I knit seven rows, you should be an inch longer. This is a law of physics. Why are you holding back?

I still love you, your firm ribbing and symmetrical cables still call my name. I still feel moved when I see your sleeve shaping and think about your saddle shoulders. I don't understand why you don't want to be with me. I'm young, I yarn-over quickly, I've never dropped a stitch on you and I respected you enough to write part of your pattern down. What more can I do to make this work?

I'm willing to give it another day with you, but if you aren't going to even try...well. A knitter has needs. Rhinebeck is in six days. I have lots of other yarn. You do the math.


Posted by Stephanie at October 7, 2004 11:20 AM