November 25, 2004

Raising the roof

Ok. It's cold. There was even snow yesterday and today, but yesterday the snow only met the conditions for "level one snow". Level one snow flies about, looks like snow but does not accumulate. Level one snow makes children happy and makes you feel a little festive, but it is not, I repeat, it is not REAL SNOW.

Today we had level two snow. Level two snow is characterized by the following criteria.
- it is accompanied by cold severe enough to make you look for a hat, if you had not already done so, having been spooked by dumb level one snow. Note: If I'm telling you to look for a hat then I'm pretty cold. Hats, all hats, make me look phallic. Do not tell me that I have not yet met/knit/tried the right hat. It is all hats. I have witnesses who can attest to the incredible unflattering effect that hats have on me. If I'm looking for a hat it is because I think that loosing my ears to frostbite would only make me look more phallic. It's about the lesser of evils.
-it causes a little fleeting depression as you realize that winter really is going to happen again this year and that it's really only a matter of days until you are freezing yourself stupid everywhere you go and wiping up melted snow all over the house while you try to get around in level 4-5 or 6 snow for the next five months.
-the defining difference between level one and two snow is that level two snow stays on the ground. Should you encounter level two snow you will hear Canadians say this. "Yup, look at that. It's staying on the ground." So defining is this characteristic, that Canadians will ask each other this question to determine snow seriousness. "Is it staying on the ground?".
-finally, level two snow is accompanied by general panic for me, as I must say....

Bomh

HAVE YOU SEEN THE BACK OF MY HOUSE.

Sorry. I'm a little worried. Jean is back on my roof, freezing his arse off and trying to...well, make SOME KIND OF A ROOF. ( I know that it looks like I might have a roof in this picture. That would be an illusion. That roof is just some boards laid across the thing. That thing is to a real roof what Martha Stewart is to Erma Bombeck. Not real). Sorry. I'll take a deep breath. It's just that it's so cold and yesterday it rained and all I can see are the BIG OPEN PARTS TO MY HOUSE.

It's ok. There's a door between the back room and the kitchen. That should stop the level two snow from piling up on the DINNER PLATES and leave only the bitter arctic wind and aching vicious cold. I know that Jean is working as fast as he can, and this is really a part time thing for him. He's a full time carpenter, but he's a friend of the family and is doing us a favour, so it's not like I can STAPLE GUN HIM TO THE BACK OF MY HOUSE. Sorry. It's the stress. Jean helped Joe and my brother install my entire new kitchen a few years ago and I paid him with three pairs of hand knit socks. Seriously.

Jeansock

I showed him the Estonian Mittens. Maybe we can cut some kind of a deal.
(Please don't tell him that the deal I'm thinking is that he makes the back of my house back into THE BACK OF A HOUSE and I will knit him anything he wants for the rest of his life without question or regret. I'm too vulnerable.)

The computer sock (I highly recommend this method of Christmas knitting. The sock sits there and whenever I'm reading email or waiting for things to load or ...well, thinking, I pick it up and do a few stitches. A sock a week, for sure. ) is bigger.

Csock

You can sneak knitting into everything. The key is for me to avoid Christmas knitting panic. Slow and steady wins the race. No need for things to get ugly. Right?

I finished the second skein of grey laceweight. It came out to be 130m. Together with the other skein it's a grand total of 320m.

Handspun

I'm really pleased. I was especially proud last night when I asked Megan to pass Ken the handspun and she said "This one? The soft one?"
Hear that? SOFT. I'm thrilled. My clutching, overcontrolled spinning style often leads to very fine yarn that is like wire, but this is soft. Really soft.

Happy thanksgiving to all my American friends. (Note to Canadians: why don't we have any holidays on a Thursday? All of ours are on Mondays. Do you realize that this means that they are getting 4 days off? We need some changes.) Before you give thanks today for the incredible over-abundance we enjoy, why don't you click on by Deb's or Wendy's and contribute to their Knitbloggers drive for Heifer International. It will make your dinner taste better. (If you are Canadian click there too, the warm fuzzy glow it gives you will take the edge off the snow and arse numbing cold. If you are from somewhere warmer...well, just do it. It's good for you.)

Posted by Stephanie at November 25, 2004 1:00 PM