Dear Everything I am knitting right now,
I know that it is Valentines day, and a better knitter would probably have left this for tomorrow so as not to scar you and spoil this day for you, but alas..we all know that I am not like that.
I have to tell you, my darling everything, that on this special day set aside for the celebration of love and romance. I am frankly, not feeling it.
You are all pretty damned boring. Now, I understand that relationships are like this, and that there are ups and downs and better and worse and all of that, and I understand too that this is the middle of February in Canada and that it's hard to rise above that and be thrilling. I understand. As someone who is trying really hard to see the point in doing anything other than reading, writing and drinking tea until March comes....I see it. I know that part of this...well, deadness between us is my fault but since you are all living here in my home free of rent and getting decent closet space, nice needles and a whole blog about your existence and charms, I think that it's clear that I am doing my part.
Not to be callused, my little woollen loves, but I feel that the time has come to point out to you that you are not really in a position to bargain with me. This house is full up to the top with yarn wants to be with me and the temptation...well. I am a knitter. It is yarn. There is only so much you can expect of me. You knew I was like this when you moved in.
I would humbly suggest to you that you start contributing to this relationship. It's a two way street, and I need to feel like you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. I know that in the beginning I laughed at your jokes, the charming way that you wouldn't get thumbs on straight or the way that you playfully hid yarn from me, or surprised me with unexpected yarn overs and stitch counts, but now? Now it's getting old, and frankly life is too short to spend it with yarn that isn't committed to the relationship.
I'll meet you on the chesterfield at nine with my tape measure and needles and I'll be ready to give it one more try.
Stephanie
(PS. Don't let the new green yarn alarm you. We are only friends)
Posted by Stephanie at February 14, 2005 2:16 PMhttp://home.earthlink.net/~darkjuliet/vday.jpg
and don't forget to remind them that spring is coming and you'll love them again then.
After all, a harlot knitter that will cheat on her projects is still a harlot knitter that will cheat ...
Posted by: Judy H. at February 14, 2005 2:21 PMI know the "not feeling it" feeling. I have a scary desire to rip out ALL my projects at the moment and take up scrapbooking. I'm hoping it will pass in a few days. I hope everything you are knitting pays you some attention and that you have a lovely Valentines day!
Posted by: kerrie at February 14, 2005 2:22 PMDon't worry, wee woollens, we all get a little... itchy in the dead of winter. She'll be back. Don't ask her where she went or who she was with. You don't want to know.
Posted by: Lene at February 14, 2005 2:23 PMDon't feel bad, I've decided this is what happens between Christmas and Easter in the knitting world. We sort of wander listlesly from project to project without very much purpose. I usually only have 1 or 2 active projects going but now have 6 and I think i'm going to swatch for a 7th toninght. Don't fight it, embrace it.
Posted by: Jayme at February 14, 2005 2:23 PMSteph, this cartoon made me think of you and your wool house (even though it's in Finnish): http://www.ullaneule.net/0105/nurjapuoli.html
Posted by: Carla at February 14, 2005 2:24 PMConsidering the happy harlot 'holiday' today, my suggestion is to go and make yourself a new best friend. Maybe the mysterious green yarn?
And tomorrow? The gansey. Remember that?
Posted by: Cassie at February 14, 2005 2:29 PM"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Or don't make, as the case may be.
Happy Hearts Day!
Posted by: Teresa at February 14, 2005 2:33 PMThat is funny! You're right, Stephanie- it is a two-way street. I like that attitude and will start threatening my knits if they don't behave.
I have been ripping out some ho-hum projects lately, and I hope that is scaring the ones I'm still working on. They better straighten up and fly right!
Posted by: Mary-Heather at February 14, 2005 2:35 PMCarla -- that is a _great_ cartoon!
Ah, poor wee yarn balls. They are taken away from their loved ones in the yarn store, hoping that their new mama Steph will cuddle and pet them forever.
Nope! Onto the needles and off to the UFO pile with you!
Posted by: Rana at February 14, 2005 2:40 PMMondays are for flings?
Posted by: Lauren at February 14, 2005 2:42 PMI think I had a boyfriend like that once :)
Posted by: Vicki at February 14, 2005 2:44 PMah - the doldrums of late winter... everything is grey and cold and rainy and we dont want to do anything. *sniffle* lets all sit by the fireplace with a roaring fire and read and drink some hot chocolate....
hot chocolate makes everything better...
although the Finnish cartoon did lift my spirits a bit...
i will be finishing the day by sitting around waiting to go into labor sometime this week...
yes i am now 39 weeks pregnant and she is due saturday - so people send me wishes that she is born this week and i dont have to be induced next week...:)
Our dearest Stephanie -
Thank you for your kind Valentine. I think that we've all been feeling a bit like the bachelors on the Bachelorette TV show in the US. You have so many of us going at one time. One day you blog about your beautfiul experience knitting those of us becoming mittens. The next day is the Clapotis. And we just never quite know which one of us you really love and want a relationship with. Our emotions can only take so much.
As soon as you decide, please give the chosen a rose and the rest of us will move on to the next LYS.
Fondly,
Your yarn....
Gods, woman, you crack me up - how you manage to write what we're all thinking is astounding. I really have to wait until March for my copy of BookbookbookBookbookbook?
Posted by: roggey at February 14, 2005 3:10 PMThey don't call her the Harlot for nothin'.
Posted by: reenie at February 14, 2005 3:30 PMAh, but Valentine's Day or no, tis a Monday...
Posted by: Jean at February 14, 2005 4:21 PMSteph, Steph, Steph....it's the process!!!
Posted by: margene at February 14, 2005 4:25 PMValentine's Day, bleh! I totally understand where you are coming from. I think If have to do another Stst project in the near future I might lose (what's left of) my sanity. Although, I had a very wonderful surprise today. My Firecracker yarn arrived. Thanks, Margaret!!!
Posted by: erin at February 14, 2005 4:27 PMConsidering your current state of mind I urge you, for the love of heavens, to not start a Clapothree.
Posted by: grumperina at February 14, 2005 4:28 PMThat just made my day. Thanks for sharing :)
Posted by: Amber at February 14, 2005 4:30 PMAhh chesterfield. Is that not one of the greatest words in the Canadian language? It's right up there with "eh" and "toque". Speaking of things Canadian, I am about to start my second pair of thrummed mitts, with hand-dyed shiny new LOCAL rovings.
Posted by: Karlie at February 14, 2005 4:34 PMYou are the Cynthia Heimel of knitting, and I worship at your feet.
Posted by: mindy at February 14, 2005 5:11 PMThe rules of my world say that winter will go away if you start knitting spring and summer wear on Valenti Personally, I started a lace sweater on Saturday because the season is going to turn just about the time I finish it.
Posted by: kerry at February 14, 2005 5:21 PMhave immensely enjoyed your clapotis adventures and wanton knitting discussions. Thanks for sharing, and thanks also for making my early blog reading so fun.
-Juls
Posted by: Juls at February 14, 2005 6:10 PMYour relationship with your yarn sounds like mine. Though, I have to take some responsibility. I cheat a LOT. I can't commit to any single project. and, umm..in response to the post below... your man should NEVER EVER get a cat, dog, or bunny (anything interactive). He sounds like a complete sweetheart, but I'm on your side re: Sharkbait.
Posted by: Cyn at February 14, 2005 6:13 PMHappy Valentine's Day! I've been feeling the love for a couple weeks now, so I'll sent some warm, honey-lovin' vibes to Toronto in your name :-).
Posted by: LauraA at February 14, 2005 6:39 PMI am so glad to have found your blog. Your sharkbait post had me laughing until I cried and this one had my laughing until I peed! Better go change my pants. LOL.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Melanie
I always sit my yarn down at the beginning and make sure that if they're going to be with me, it's definitely an 'open relationship'. That way, the funky wool doesn't get jealous about the Sunday afternoon 'bootycall' with the recycled cashmere. If only I could get that merino off my back...damn merino...it's always the merino...
Posted by: Christie at February 14, 2005 7:20 PMHah, sounds like the bottom of my closet has been talking to your "Everything I'm knitting Right Now."
Posted by: Valerie at February 14, 2005 7:24 PMHappy Valentine's Day : )
Posted by: Annette at February 14, 2005 7:47 PMPlease explain chesterfield for those of us in the middle of north america.
Posted by: donna at February 14, 2005 7:52 PMI am reminded of when Zonker Harris was taking tanning lessons from his philodendron, on the front porch of the Walden Puddle commune.
Posted by: Ellen in Conn at February 14, 2005 8:38 PMHappy Valentine's Day! When do we get to see the green yarn?
Donna- a chesterfield by any other name would be a couch, sofa, divan.....
my grammy called them davenports..happy valentines to all...esp to all the forgotten yarn in wool houses across this huge continent...your day is coming soon....why is there no english word for ennui?
Posted by: kath at February 14, 2005 10:45 PMWow--I'm knitting 5 projects plus crocheting one, and I don't even care that much for crochet, and I have two projects stalled, including some slippers to sew up so that they can be felted, and I'm wondering why am I so restless? Why can't I be happy with just clapotis right now? Plus I want to make progress on something, but with this many projects, not much progress on any front. I've never noticed February doldrums before, but I'll be on the look out next year.
Posted by: Terry (ninjaknitter) at February 14, 2005 11:04 PMAt the risk of being totally stupid-- pretend that it is October and Christmas is coming!!! Start the gifts, lose stress for next year. Or not. Sunlight helps!!!
Posted by: Bev at February 14, 2005 11:04 PMI've been flitting from one romance to another myself. My I suggest a couple of one night stands? Baby socks are a great "quickie" that satisfies that lust for something new, and *poof* its over before you have a chance to be bored.
Posted by: Marlene at February 14, 2005 11:47 PMPouring rain and dank here, so I wrapped my grandmother's birthday socks in bright red paper, called the gp's and arranged a rendezvous at the local library, baked a tray of brownies for gfather, and trudged through the rain to meet them.
Gmother can knit circles around me but rarely knits for herself. Her face lit up when she saw the socks -- and I was suddenly motivated to knit again, which is fortunate because now I have to knit something else for her to open on her 95th birthday in 2 weeks.
Do you have a dog house for bad yarn? I guess divorce is when you swap yarn with someone? Murder would be going nuts with the scissors? A makeover would be throwing it in the dye pot? How does yarn really feel about being frogged?
Posted by: Sylvia at February 15, 2005 2:14 AMHeehee. Made me laugh.
Green yarn, eh?
hmmmmm..
And what about a koigu shroud for the fish?
Posted by: Susan at February 15, 2005 11:23 AMvery entertaining! thanks for a bright spot on a grey day, livened up only by bringing along an entirely new project to do up quickly at a meeting this afternoon. We need those "quickies" to get through the long darkness of winter!
Posted by: birdsong at February 15, 2005 11:51 AMCommitment for commitment's sake is a fine thing....and much to be commended - but a platonic intellectual adventure on the side is a great way to rediscover the joys of the reliable woolens. I suggest you try a quick fling with a Gedifra pattern. The sheer unreasonableness of the patterns and the absolute insanity of the yarns will help you see those stalwart woolens with new eyes!
Posted by: stephanie at February 15, 2005 12:42 PM