Yesterday I sat on the couch and knit a scarf. Last night Ken sat on the couch and knit a scarf. Beginning to end, maybe 2 hours apiece. This is mine and not his,
but dude, it was a fast, wickedly quick stocking stuffer. If you're feeling like maybe all this Christmas knitting is getting you down, do one of these. They aren't all that slick, but it gives you a wool buzz that lasts for hours.
Someone will ask me, I know they will (Now, you know that I would usually mock anyone who couldn't figure this out, but I understand that with mere days to go you may be drunk and hostile rushing, and that there is little time for useful thought, so I will forgive you for not taking the time to sort your own garter stitch scarf out. Do not expect this sort of lassitude in June, when if you ask me for the exact same thing I shall laugh and laugh and deny you cake.) so here is the pattern, such as it is.
Bulky wool, about 120 metres, (or a combination of yarns that give you bulky, like 3 strands of worsted held together) size 8mm circular needle. (Get a long one, maybe 80cm.)
Gauge: Seriously? It's a scarf...how will it not fit? What could happen? I mean for the love of.... 8 stitches to 4 inches.
Cast on 120 stitches (loosely) and leave the tail hanging. Knit a row, and when you get to the end, leave a long loop hanging. A loop as long as you would like your fringe to be. Knit 20 rows total, then cast of loosely (I am serious about the looseness) and cut your loops to make fringe, snug up the ends and tie two strands of the hanging ends together in an overhand knot, all the way across.
To make stripes, begin and end new colours at will, leaving the ends hanging as you go.
When you are done, block the whole thing by wetting it and then giving it a nice tug and hanging it to dry. It will likely grow a fair bit at that point. Mine did, coming in at about 170cm (66 inches) excluding fringe when it was dry.
There are better other scarves like this here, here and here. Go nuts. Two hours, one present.
While Ken was knitting his version I kept bugging him. "Isn't it fast? Isn't it funny? Isn't it cracking you up? Ken? Ken?" and Ken (who really loves it when he comes over and I not only force him to knit things but also harass him while he does so) did concede that he was having a pretty good time and that it was holding his interest because (get this) the slight variegation in the yarn made it "interesting to watch".
I agreed (somehow) that it was sort of intriguing to see it change from light blue to dark blue to medium blue to dark again....and that I too had found it gripping.
We are a simple people.
Balls of yarn knit up: 13 (yes. I'm a day behind, but I knit a scarf...)
Balls of yarn left to go: 6
Babies weights: Just a smidge above birth-weight
Mood: Well... did I mention I made a scarf!
Finally, for Carole, Carol, Patti, Tree and Lora all of whom felt it necesarry to point out that they were finished their gift knitting in the comments yesterday.....The rest of us would like your addresses.
We're just going to come over and force you to knit presents for our families until you weep tears and admit that adequate planning, foresight, intelligence and normal human reason just aren't worth it bring you some cookies.